Eternal Desire
by Lily Swan
Summary: Lucie has a gift she despises, an erratic and impetuous power. Her arrival to Forks is only the start to unlocking her own past, darker than she could have imagined possible. In meeting the Cullens, inevitable turbulence falls: desire, horror and secrets.
1. Curiosity Killed The Cat?

**Hey!**

**This is my first ever story on fan fiction, this chapter is long, but I hope you'll like it… I'm not too good at shortening things, but I'll try next chapter if…and only if people review this!**

**Enjoy!!**

**almost forgot: I don't own Twilight: or it's charcters, *sob* but i do own Lucie! she is mine, (oo that sounds good!) mine, mine, MINE!- but the rest belongs to, Stephenie Meyer (NOOOO FAIRRR!!)**

**Eternal Desire**

**Introduction:**

I'm Lucie, my full name's Luciana Rose Raven, my life's been purgatory for the last two years and right now I'm close to breaking point.

I sat down on my navy blue suitcase, placed in the centre of my bed, I was moving, again, but this time, I was moving further than ever. I was moving to America to small town called Forks, there I presumed I would go to the local high school, and the never ending cycle of my misery would begin. Again.

I contemplated myself and life then, whilst sitting on my bed. Wondering why so much suffering had not yet been stifled by my own death, but by the deaths of others.

My life was getting worse, I was sure of it. For one thing I would go to school tomorrow, I would be an odd out cast and almost certainly be labelled the 'new girl' which was what had happened at every school so far, we'd visited, and then abruptly left. In the past few weeks my father and I had moved from my childhood sanctuary- of Nottinghamshire, my father had found a new job for himself in Forks (a town halfway across the planet,) and he was now desperately searching for a place for me to go to school. Which was, incidentally quite difficult, seeing as it was January and not September. All in an attempt to run away from the past. The past I knew that would never fade away. Never cease to leave my memory. But that alone was only one, small, insignificant problem, the others I would have to deal with were a lot worse...

I'm an only child, always have been, always will be. My mother died two years ago and it was my fault. My father's an emotional wreck who cannot even consider dating as he too, like myself, thinks he was the reason for my mother's suicide. He blames himself, I blame myself, we have a lot in common.

My mother died because I confessed to her what I could do, my father says its a gift, but he alone must know that the only reason I posses it is because I was destined to be different. Destined to be a freak.

My looks don't help matters. My mother thought I was angel when I was born, I can remember her boasting about me to others; comparing me to models; thanking God for my beauty. I now know that God, however easy and comforting to believe in, does not exist. If he, almighty God, was real, he wouldn't have let such a freak of nature come into the pure world we call planet earth. (When my mother was alive I was agnostic, now I am an atheist like my father. Science is predictable and well tested, whilst life and ethics are not.) She would say that I got more perfect everyday. When she was alive. That's probably what deluded her into thinking I was normal, though she must have noticed I was an excellent student and abnormally intelligent, (even though I did my best attempts to hide this factor) way too good in fact for just an average girl 15 year old.

I think of myself as average and plain personally, but others don't, They see beauty where I just see me: a freak; an outcast; a person without a cause. I am 5 foot 5 with a skinny slender figure - too skinny to be considered as beautiful through my eyes – Long dirty blonde hair, and hazel eyes. Another abnormality, normally when you think of a girl with blonde hair, you imagine a pretty set of blue eyes to go with it. Not me. My eyes were an odd colour, too stubborn to decide, if they were brown or green. They're brown on the outer ring of my irises, but get greener towards my pupils, which are normally dilated for some obscure reason, even without the lackage of light. My mother once thought it was due to 'deadly nightshade' (a drug, in the shape of a purple flower, used to make peoples eyes diluted,) but it wasn't, they were just naturally like that. If I did consider any part of myself as even remotely pretty, it would probably be my eyes, due to their depth and complexity. But apart from that, like I said, I'm just average.

However because of my so called 'good looks' I get unwanted attention and compliments, that's another thing I can't stand by the way: attention. It's the only thing that's earned my so-called-friends, I've had in the past, they stay with me in an attempt to become popular, not realising that's the very thing I don't want to be.

Friends. A hard subject for one like myself.

The gift I have is hard to explain and difficult to perform. Don't think in anyway that I like having it, on the contrary, it's the very reason why I loath myself.

I can see people's whole past: all the feelings they've ever felt; every memory; every emotion; every single thing. I can see all this in a matter of seconds. Like a film being played on extra high forward setting. And the worst thing is; I can't control it.

I don't like interrupting people's minds, seeing their private memories, or knowing too much about them. I can't just pick and choose whose memories I see. Yes, I admit it can be useful, for instance I could become the best Policewoman in the world, solve every crime and stop every murderer, but. And there are several mega buts.

The way I see these things is hard to explain, they come to me unexpectedly in the form of visions; I could have known the person for a second or three years, though it normally happens if I like them, or find them mysterious.

All of this adds up to me knowing how people really feel about me. The jealously, resentment, hatred and occasionally, unwanted interest.

That is why I can't have friends. I find out too much about them, I can never really get attached without getting hurt. And I've been hurt too many times now.

My mother's death, took such a big chunk out of me, that now there's little left. I've been pushed around, too many times to count.

We all know what happens to things that are pushed around too much.

Eventually, they break.

**Chapter one.**

I grimaced as I looked at myself in the mirror, turning my small face into an unattractive pose. My hair, a pale shade of dirty blonde, fell loosely down past slender shoulders. I'd grabbed the nearest clean clothes I could find, which were: a plain, dark blue, short sleeved blouse and a pair of old jeans.

The top, which hung low, exposing my collar bones, contrasted with my skin oddly. I'd always been pale, but now my skin looked deathly white against the blue, though the affect was softened slightly by the fact that my blonde hair covered up part of the exposed skin.

The jeans on the other hand, were another story entirely. They were too small for me, I hadn't grown much taller since when I'd bought them, but they fitted tightly against my legs now, evidently having shrunk in the wash.

None of this, however, bothered me. I'd never really cared about fashion; today was no exception to that rule.

It was my eyes that were bothering me as I looked into the mirror.

They were the same, in most senses, still an annoying shade of hazel, still large and almond shaped but, they showed too much in their complexity. Too many of my thoughts were accessed through my eyes. Of course, last nights sleep hadn't helped, I thought as I averted my gaze and quickly ran outside, grabbing my school bag as I left.

The morning was misty. A fog hung low in the air, I could taste the dampness of it, mixed with the scents of the forest, next to our new house. Moss. Pine. Dew. So many new smells and sights, yet none could fix my sense of worry. The sense of impending doom.

"Lucie? Honey? You want me to drive you to school?" called my father's voice from inside the house. It was sweet of him, I thought absently, that he cared so much. But I knew he busy, painting another one of his pictures, with the landscape Fork's had provided, fuelling him with a new kind of hope.

"It's okay, I'm fine dad, I'll just take your car, I can drive it." I called hoping for a short goodbye, postponing the thought of school, would not make it any easier to deal with.

"If, you're sure honey...," My dad said, waving from his desk, "hope you have a nice day!"

"Thanks, I will." I said, a false excitement in my voice, as I got into the car, knowing full well that the chances of that happening were almost certainly zero.

***

I arrived in the school parking lot, and was faced with my first challenge of the day. Where on earth could I park?

I drove carefully round the small space. Once. Twice. Three times. Before I could fully convince myself there were no spaces. Panicking a little, I rolled down the wind screen as I saw a kind looking girl with dark hair, getting out of a green car.

"Um, excuse me," I asked her, "but, do you know if there are any other spaces, here?"

She up looked at me, surprised at not noticing my car, she didn't reply at first, so I mumbled an apology "Sorry, I wouldn't normally ask, I'm new."

Her eyes, kind and thoughtful, lit up and widened, before she hastily responded.

"Oh, what? Sorry, I was away with the fairies!" she exclaimed smiling at the thought of me being new. "there's another lot, just there, round that corner," she indicated a hidden corner that I hadn't noticed.

My panic eased up.

"Thanks." I told her gratefully before driving round, parking and walking up to the front doors.

As soon as I steeped out of the car, I realised I was under dressed. The morning was frosty as well as misty. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw people wrapped up in scarves and gloves.

I'd only just arrived and I was already different. Yet, I didn't mind. I liked the cold. It reminded me of England, of home. I pushed that thought out of my mind, not waiting for the pain that would follow.

It was warmer inside and I looked at the surroundings, students and teachers alike were milling about from place to place, carrying books and folders, it was then that my second problem hit me. I had no idea what class I had, or where an earth it was.

I searched around for a bit, dimly remembering my father's words the night before. He'd said something about a timetable.

The question was: where to get one?

Before I could go into a state of panic again, a blonde boy arrived in front of me, his eyes raked my figure, before he spoke. Everything felt odd, almost dream like. It was bad that I hadn't got a lot of sleep. I must have been imagining things, I could of sworn this boy's eyes lit up when he saw me along with wandering over my figure-which wasn't anything special.

"Hey," the blonde boy said, his eyes curious "you new?"

"Yeah," I replied "I'm sorry, I don't know where to get…my...um-" I trailed off forgetting what I needed.

"Timetable?" He said, raising his eye brows.

I nodded. Afraid to speak, I still felt like I wasn't awake. He laughed, scrutinising my look of anxiety and continued. "Don't look so scared I won't bite! And, I'm Mike by the way, Mike Newton."

I smiled slightly.

"Lucie." I replied.

"Cool, your timetable will be at reception," he indicated a room to his left, "I'll catch you later Lucie." and with that he left, walking over to a group of boys who were all eyeing me furtively, I felt self conscious. Did my hair look that bad? Or did I have something stuck on my clothes? And why did they keep looking at me like, well like I needed to be snatched up, and fast. When Mike got to them, they averted there eyes from me. I realised I was still staring at were Mike had left, so quickly composing my self, I walked off briskly towards reception, hoping they hadn't noticed my slow reactions and concentrating hard on not tripping up.

Having got my timetable, I walked off to Physics, my first class. I was well aware that I was late, the receptionist had asked me several questions, so at least I had an excuse. I just hoped Forks wasn't too strict, the last thing I wanted was a lot of attention on my first day here.

The Physics class was relatively small. I noticed as I walked in, dubiously. Sure enough, everyone was listening intently to Mr Banner, I knew he was called this from my timetable.

Several people stared at me as I walked in, but Mr Banner clearly hadn't noticed my arrival.

Chagrin flushed my face, as some people started to giggle at me. Standing dead still stupidly, in the doorway. I let out a small delicate cough, trying to get Mr Banner's attention, but not wanting to disturb his lecture.

He still didn't notice.

_Everyone_-aside from Mr Banner- was looking at me now, staring at me like I was some sort of specimen in a Science lab, which ironically I sort of was.

I could feel my self getting steadily redder, as the embarrassment threatened to overload me. _This_, is exactly what always happened to me. I willed Mr Banner to stop talking and look at me, the faces of everyone seemed harsh and hostile, even when they were laughing.

A boy sneezed loudly, easing the tension, I was grateful to him, he drew some of the eyes away from my embarrassed face.

"Mr Banner, I think we've got a new student." said a melodic voice, shattering the lecture, it alone had silenced the room in less than a heartbeat. The voice as fluid as water was accented with flawless articulation and it just simply, beautiful.

I turned to see where it had come from, seeking the face to match the music.

It was a boy, slouching back in his chair, at the back of the class. I was shocked, awed by his presence. He was just so,so,so...beautiful,stunning and gorgeous all at the same time. Words could not describe him, his hair was bronze and tousled. His features looked perfectly chiselled, emphasising the angular face, with high cheekbones. The boy looked like a Greek God. He was breathtaking. I found myself unable to look away.

"Ah, yes!" Mr Banner turned, noticing me at last, and I quickly looked back towards him, the middle ageing, slightly portly man who was evidently teaching me both Physics and Biology this term. "Are you Luciana Raven?" he said.

"Yes." I stated. Annoyed that he just announced the name I despised to the whole class.

"Good, sit next to... erm," Mr Banner said looking round the class. My heart leaped, the God-like-boy had a free seat next to him. I imagined sitting next to him, would I be able to concentrate? Could one really just concentrate on Physics when they were sitting next to the most perfect looking person on the planet? I think knew the answer to that… Mr Banner, however cut my thoughts off short by pointing towards a seat on the opposite side of the class, next to a boy with dark skin and glasses. "Sit there next to Mr Cheney."

I stopped my fantasies, ashamed of myself, wondering what an earth had just happened, who had taken over my thoughts? However despite this, for some reason...I don't think I like this 'Mr Banner'.

That Physics lesson passed easily, time went almost too fast for my liking. Ben Cheney, was a talkative boy who ambled on happily with me throughout Physics, he was clearly surprised I'd got into the top Physics class, saying that people have to stay for at least a half a term, before they're normally aloud to move up. I couldn't explain to him how much Physics I knew, because that would have probably placed me in the year above class. After all I just wanted to fit in. for once. He also, offered me a tour of the school. I was surprised, so far I hadn't been excluded or left out completely, every one _seemed _well, just really quite nice, so far_. _I just smiled and nodded at regular intervals, whilst Ben was talking to me though, my mind was elsewhere, drifting occasionally to the boy across the classroom…

Before I knew it, I'd already survived through, Physics and English, to be honest I was quite proud of myself, I'd survived so far, and I wasn't even weary yet. I walked across the cafeteria with Angela Weber, she was the girl I'd met in the parking lot in the morning, she was lovely, really a considerate and genuine person. I was glad, for the first time in my life it felt like I had a friend. She showed me to her table and I sat down, Angela got up to get something to eat, but I wasn't particularly hungry so I stayed put.

That was when I saw them.

The boy, who was perfect in every sense, was sitting across the cafeteria directly opposite our own table.

He wasn't alone.

A stunning girl, small and pixie like, was sitting across the table from him, her hair black and delicately spiky. She was holding hands with an equally stunning blonde male, who was staring at her, like she was the most important thing on earth and also looked, in _pain_…Next to them were another couple, the girl caught my eye. She was better than any female model, her blonde hair made my own look practically hideous in comparison, she was with a boy who was tall and muscular. They all had the same look about them, they were all beautiful, and were all incredibly pale.

But next to _him _the only one, I'd actually heard speak, was someone else.

Next to him, a beautiful girl with long auburn hair, was holdings his hand, whilst his was wrapped protectively around her waist. She looked out of place slightly, less confident than the others. She was frail and fragile looking, almost as pale as they were. I should have known someone like him, would already be attached. I didn't know what was wrong with me, I'd never felt about anyone, the way I felt about a boy I'd heard speak yet but once, a boy to whose name I was none the wiser.

Dimly I thought I should feel a strong feeling of jealously or resentment to the beautiful girl with auburn hair, she had something so perfect, did she even realise how lucky she was? But instead, I felt worse then that. No jealously, no resentment clouded my thoughts, I felt empty now. My previous feeling of gratitude and pride had left as abruptly as it had come. I just felt like a shell again, empty and easily broken.

I felt such a strong urge, a desire, to use my gift my 'power'. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I was shocked with myself. I'd never, _never, _attempted or even wanted to use my freaky gift. It was just part of who I was, but now, now I actually _wanted _to find out about them, the mysterious beautiful group across the hall, seemed so distant from the rest of the school.

"Lucie, have you even been listening?" I heard Angela's voice ask me. I looked up, I'd been staring at the serrated edge of a knife for I didn't know how long, quietly thinking, I hadn't even noticed Angela's return.

"Sorry, I was just, away with the fairies!" I quoted her. She smiled at me and began talking in a quick, low voice.

"Jessica's going to come over in a minute, she's…well she's very…" Angela struggled for a minute for the right word, "talkative, so just, don't say anything you'd rather be kept quiet." she finished pointing at a girl progressing towards us, flicking back her hair impatiently.

"thanks," I whispered back "I'll keep that sort of talk between you and me." she looked grateful at that, then sat down on the seat opposite from mine, as the girl called Jessica reached our table.

"Soooo, are you the new girl?" she addressed me, "Luciana?" raising her eyebrows expectantly.

"Lucie," I corrected her, "and yes, I suppose, I'm the 'new girl.'" I knew this was going to come up sooner or later…

"Oh my god, are you seriously, like from, England? Wow, I totally love your, like accent!" She said this enthusiastically, taking the seat next to Angela, who rolled her eyes reproachfully at me, indicating that 'Jessica-involved-conversations' go on, and on and on…

She wasn't mistaken. Jessica drivelled on through practically the whole of lunch, while I only listened to snatches of what she was saying. Partly because; I really couldn't care less and partly because I'd forgotten the American obsession of like to which Jessica was very well acquainted with.

"So, you seen the Cullens yet?" Jessica asked, yet another question to me

"The, who?" I said, I hadn't been following

"The Cullens, you know, gloriously beautiful; rich; goddamn smart." she inclined her head towards the table with the _him _on it.

"Yes, I've seen them." I said, I'd been trying not to think of the boy, but now that she'd just mentioned it…

"And?!" exclaimed Jessica, following my gaze "Which one do you like?" I remembered what Angela had just said: _'she's very talkative, so just, don't say anything you'd rather be kept quiet'_

"Who's the one with his arms round the brunette?" I asked.

"That's Edward." Replied both Angela and Jessica, I could see my longing mirrored in their eyes. "They're all like, couples," Jessica continued fervently, eager to spread the gossip, "the blonde male's called Jasper, he's the one who looks constipated and is staring at Alice, who's the cute one with black hair. Rosalie-that's the blonde female, she's with Emmet, the big muscled one. Oh, and the one, with brown hair, is Bella…" scoffed Jessica, by her tone, she didn't approve of Bella. My mind was still laughing at her description of Jasper, but come to think of it, he _did _look slightly constipated… Out of the corner of my eye, I swear I could've seen Edward, incline his head fractionally towards our direction.

"What's wrong with Bella?" I asked, curiosity taking the better of me, to my surprise it was Angela who spoke, quickly and agitatedly.

"Oh, only the fact that she used to be my best friend; we did everything together; watched the same movies; read the same books. She cried with me when she was sad and laughed when she was happy and then, when Edward left, last year, she just… deflated, forgot about me and everyone else, I supported her, helped her get back on her feet. Made her visit her old friends, I did everything I _could _to make her happy." her voice cracked slightly when she said 'could', I felt immense sorry for Angela, Bella albeit pretty, evidently wasn't very thoughtful of her feelings. "But, then, Edward came back, and Bella's just ignored me ever since, moved in English, to sit with him, moved in here to sit with him… I mean, I know she loves him; who doesn't but… did she really need to just forget about me?" Angela stopped and I saw the sadness in her eyes.

"Of course not, Angela, I'm sorry." I said, trying to comfort her. She seemed to wake up at this, like being pulled out of a trance, I could tell, she'd said more than she wanted too, especially in the presence of Jessica, but all the same, she looked like she had a weight off her chest.

"I'm ok, but thanks anyway," Angela said, returning once more to usual cheery self.

The bell rang, soon people were moving about everywhere and I was the only one left sitting, staring blankly at Angela.

"Lucie? You ok?" said Angela looking worried. It took me several seconds to respond, my breathing came out in ragged breaths, as I tried to reply.

"I'm fine." I said, lying. Angela got up to leave with Jessica, they had Trig in the same class. My head hurt. And I felt dizzy, I got to my feet, holding the chair to support myself. Something was wrong. Very wrong. And then, it hit me.

_A million colours flashed before my eyes, accompanied by sounds, sending me into a whirl of colour and vague images. They sharpened, became more defined, and I could see and hear every detail in them. _

_I saw a small girl with brown hair, reading a book; playing with friends; lamenting. Thousands of emotions ran over me, stampeding down into my head._

_Next was the same girl-older now, sitting on a white bed, crying as she heard her parents fight from downstairs. The feelings intensified, longing; despair; happiness; _

_Loneliness, they all fell, haphazardly around me, as the memories flew at me, fluidly and quickly each leaving an emotional mark._

_She was older now, and approaching the school gates, with a mixed feeling of belonging and worry. _

_Staring at an essay, proud of her work. Playing with nieces, glad for their happiness. Seeing a boy with dark bronze hair and marble skin, seeing his beauty. Intrigued by him and his mysteriousness._

Seeing a _girl, frail and afraid, anxiously approach her. Caring for her, becoming friends, the memories continued to flash behind my closed lids. Like highly intricately painted butterflies, dancing and swirling before my mind. Looking at the girl, paler now, thinner, lost and detached, the bronze haired boy was no longer around. Being kind to girl, helping her; concerned about her, sympathetic towards her loss. Friendship mending. Now a boy, smaller than herself, with glasses, doing Maths with her, feeling of compassion and exhilaration, smiling at the boy shyly, thinking about him. _

_Talking with chatty girl, annoyed at her shallowness, getting irritated by her, hurt at the comments she was making._

_Bronze boy and beautiful family returning, pale girl re-joining them, feelings of loss, of anger. Pale girl leaving her, feeling sad and alone, pale girl not looking at her now, she was moving classes, doing everything to follow bronze haired boy, she'd forgotten about her._

_Feeling miserable and depressed, carrying on with work. Working harder, getting better grades. Seeing another new girl, apprehensive and uneasy, kindly showing her where to park, liking the girl, sense of hope, of a new start._

"Luciana?" said a high pitched, anxious voice, that sounded like wind chimes, I felt a cool hand on my shoulder, steadying me.

My eyes flew open.

I was still by the chair, I was trembling, shocked by what had just happened.

Remembering, I looked towards the hand on my shoulder, it was connected to the tiny pixie like girl, who was assessing me, with worried tawny eyes. The name, vaguely fitted the face in my mind.

"Alice?" I asked my voice was only a whisper, I knew I was probably as pale as she was, unless I turned a shade of green. I was still swaying, I would fall if she let go of me, I wondered, how she was keeping me upright, she was tiny. The cafeteria was swimming in my vision, but not enough for me to notice that It was deserted.

"Luciana…, I think, you should-"

" Lucie." I said, correcting her instinctively "How…how did you, know my name?" I mumbled quickly. But instead of answering she just shook her head almost ruefully and began walking me towards the two doors leading towards the sick room.

"no, no," I protested when I realised she was half carrying me to the door, I felt sick, everything kept drifting in and out of focus.

"Lucie?" Alice asked.

"Can, I just, rest for a minute." I pleaded, in between breaths, innocently looking into her deep eyes. She sighed impatiently, and I took that as a yes. I slid to the floor gratefully and placed my head in between my knees. After several minutes I felt normal, my breathing had eased up, and I no longer felt the need to wretch.

"You, okay now? I can always take you to the medical room, I'm sure your teachers won't mind, I can always arrange things differently if they-" I cut her off with my outstretched hand. She was speaking swiftly and frantically in the same high pitched tone I'd heard before, it was like wind chimes, restless in the wind.

"Alice?" I asked

She looked up, her eyes still anxious.

"Yes? Lucie?"

"Why are you being so kind to me, you didn't need to help me up, I just felt sick, you've probably missed your next class and you'll-" but it was her turn to cut me off now.

"Don't worry about it, it's fine honest, I don't like next class anyway," she explained "We're blood typing in Biology, and I'm kind of squeamish." the corners of her mouth turned up at this, like it was some sort of private joke. "And, besides, I had to help you, what are friends for?" she said beaming beatifically.

"Well, thanks." I said smiling tentatively, surprised that someone like Alice would be seen alive and healthy walking around with the likes of me. She'd just called me her friend.

"Anyway, you sure your better?" she said lifting me up in one, quick, lithe motion. I thought about the fact that I'd just seen Angela's whole life, every feeling, sensation and memory she'd ever had, played on high speed mode in my mind. There'd been more than I'd ever taken before, resulting In me nearly fainting. Was I really ok? I'd just experienced a whole 17 years worth's of emotions and thoughts, my head ached.

"Yeah, I'm fine now, thanks."

"Well then, you need to go to Trigonometry now, you've got Mr Varner teaching you." She said, assessing me yet again, before giving me a quick nod of approval, deciding that I was fit enough for class.

It took me a couple of seconds to reply to this, my voice was highly suspicious when I addressed her again.

"Wait, how did you know I had, trig? And how did you know what teacher I have?" I asked sceptically, but Alice just smiled again, whispered something low in French '_Qui vivra verra'_and pushed me forwards in the direction of my next class. Before gracefully dancing back across the cafeteria towards the exit. I tried to translate what she'd just said, but I couldn't my head was still feeling fuzzy.

I arrived in front of the class room. This was the second time I'd been late now, everyone probably thought I was forgetful, I'd already acquired a reputation for lateness. Great. Surprisingly this didn't fill me with a sense of dread like it normally would. I decided not to care about other's opinions of me, from now on, at least I had two friends now. Two more than I'd ever had before. That had to be an improvement.

I walked into the class room and was faced, for the second time that day, of an issue of where to sit. The room was eerily silent, with only the scratches of pens on paper making a noise, not many people looked up to my relief, evidently too engrossed in the magic of 'trigonometry'. I giggled internally, the reason why some people devoted their lives to studying triangles continued to baffle me.

Mr Varner looked up from his marking and brusquely gestured towards the back of the class with a rough grunt, before returning back to his notes.

I walked towards the back and sat down, in the only free seat, next to someone taking something out of his bag.

I glanced up at the questions on the board, they were easy; I was taken aback, I'd expected harder questions, this was after all, the top set. Quickly understanding the work, I began answering the long list, I was finished in a matter of minutes, flexing my hands slightly from the pressure of the pen.

"Have you finished?" whispered the voice to my right. Harmonious, beautiful.

Then, I fully noticed who was sitting next to me.

It was him, the boy, Edward Cullen.

"Yeah, you?" I said, showing him my work, ignoring my quickening pulse.

He raised one eyebrow as he scanned the page, filled with my answers.

"You like Maths?" he asked, not answering my question.

"Not really, I'm just good at it." I admitted, feeling hot despite the fact I was only wearing two layers, on cold day in _January_.

"Apparently so,"

He turned to me then, and I was rendered totally and utterly speechless, his eyes; a bottomless abyss of liquid gold, bored into mine. "I'm Edward, by the way, Edward Cullen." he said, his voice like his eyes were as supple as water, it flowed melodically.

"I know who you are." I stated stupidly unable to avert my now transfixed gaze.

"As, I you," he said with a smirk, "yet, it's seen polite to introduce one self when people first meet, does it not?" he questioned raising one perfectly arched eyebrow, still staring at me. The way he spoke, yet eloquent and beautiful, was odd, it sounded almost before this time, old fashioned and very polite.

"Y-yes" I stuttered. _God_, he was making it hard for me to even _talk. "_um, how did you know me, though? I'm not from around here." I said confused by his earlier statement.

"Oh, people in Forks get excited by the most trivial things, you included." His tone implied that there was more than one part to the question, but before I could think more of it, he spoke again.

"Aren't you cold?"

"What-oh, no, not really, I like the cold, it suits me better than the heat."

"Huh," he said, still staring at me, into my hazel eyes, I couldn't even _blink _now.

"Illumination." he said in a whisper.

"_what?" _I asked, guessing I'd misheard.

"Your name," he said softly, "Luciana, it means illumination in Italian."

I've always hated my name: Luciana, so why, _why _did it sound perfect when he spoke it, the way his words seemed to weave around it like a caress.

It took me several long moments to reply.

"How did you know that?" I asked just as quietly, unable to keep the awe out of my voice.

"I'm fluent in most languages." he just stated, shrugging, this didn't answer my question, I was sure most people, even fluent people, did not normally know the word illumination. It wasn't exactly text book material. He saw my gaze and smiled slightly, making his face truly magnificent "_Tout n'est pas rose dans la vie, Luicana, Jamais l'habite ne fait pas le moine_." he spoke the French words perfectly, fluently with ease, I'd studied a bit of French enough to translate this though.

"Seriously," I muttered half amused "what is it with your family and French?"

He looked confused and raised an eyebrow again.

"Not everything's perfect, Never judge a book by it's cover?" I said, translating what he'd just said to me. At this he smiled again.

"Damn," he said, smiling crookedly "I didn't think, you'd understand that."

"Don't worry, I have no idea what you actually _mean _by it."

"I'm counting on that." he chuckled, and then, his eyebrows pushed together as he frowned questionably, "What do you mean? _What is it with your family and French?"_

"Oh, nothing, just something Alice said." I explained casually. "Oh, and do you know what _Que vivra verra _means? I think it's French, but I'm not sure." I looked back at him and felt my face fall fractionally, his expression had hardened, making him look almost, _menacing. _He didn't look at me, just stared at his hands, which were now balled into fists. He didn't reply either and for the first time since I'd sat next to him, I felt uncomfortable.

The bell rang.

Edward sprang to his feet and without so much of a goodbye and left the class room, faster than my eyes could follow.

What had I said?

**PLEASE REVIEW!! **

**Ok… I know that was long, but I couldn't really work out the whole chapter business thing..**

**Please review any criticism is welcomed along with compliments, should I carry on?**

**I'll write more chapters if people review this!**

**The story is a bit complicated so well done if you understood it so far, have any questions just ask!**

**This is my first story on here, so I hoped you liked it, please review? Life time of servitude and I'll write more stories?**

**PLEASE REVIEW- come on, I'm begging here!**

**Lily. A person... desperatly in need of reviews...**

**:p**


	2. The Inescapable Dark Past

_**Hey!**_

_**I wrote this this morning, (whilst, hurriedly finishing some late homework!)so sorry if it's a bit rushed or short. It explains more about Lucie's past.**_

_**THANK YOU all who reviewed my last chapter, and persevered through reading it all, this one's much smaller in comparison. **_

_**Tell me if I should carry on!**_

_**Here it is:**_

_**What happened last chapter:**_

"_Oh, nothing, just something Alice said." I explained casually. "Oh, and do you know what __Que vivra verra _means? I think it's French, but I'm not sure." I looked back at him and felt my face fall fractionally, his expression had hardened, making him look almost, _menacing. _He didn't look at me, just stared at his hands, which were now balled into fists. He didn't reply either and for the first time since I'd sat next to him, I felt uncomfortable.

The bell rang.

Edward sprang to his feet and without so much of a goodbye and left the class room, faster than my eyes could follow.

What had I said?

***

**The Inescapable Past.**

The rest of that day pasted in a blur. My mind was whirring, my head still ached and I had a nagging feeling at the back of my mind, one that was close to dread.

I could still see Edward's face, it stuck there, in my mind burning my vision; beautiful, yet cold and hard. What had I done? I ran through the conversation again in my mind, but it didn't make sense, did it? I could only presume that he didn't like me being near Alice maybe, or perhaps it was the fact she'd spoken with me or…

It could have been anything. Lets face it, he probably just saw what I really was. A freak.

But that wasn't the only problem. There were others, much more pressing and disturbing. Like Angela's memories. They had all flashed so fast and quickly; but it was different, not like my normal visions- no, this one, it had been faster, more information, more detail, more of everything. Angela's childhood had been hard, much like my own in some ways, but so different in others. Her parents had divorced when she was a child, whilst my mother…

I cut my thoughts off there, not wanting to remember.

But, still there were more things, the passion she had had for Bella for example. That alone was so kind of Angela, again-I saw her memories of Bella Swan, frail and scared, Angela wasn't like Jessica. Not pushy, gossipy, obnoxious. No she was kind, thoughtful, and very caring. She'd cared for Bella when Edward left, helped her get together with…my memory struggled with the name. Russet skinned, lean, powerful-Jacob Black! I mentally shouted, yes, Angela had helped Bella, saved her from what could have been a life of misery.

And Bella had thrown all of that, back in her face.

Bella, when Edward had returned, had ignored Angela, left her for the-supposed other-friends-like Jessica. For some reason, I no longer liked Bella, I wasn't jealous of her, despite the fact that she had everything. No I was _angry _with her, cross that she had been so tactless towards Angela. So inconsiderate of her feelings. So rude and insensitive.

Abruptly I felt ashamed.

Who was I to judge Bella? To label her as inconsiderate and rude? Was I no better than Jessica, who gossiped and bitched about people. I wouldn't think of her like that, at least, not until I got to know her.

And then, there were the Cullens…

Alice; she alone was fascinating, the way she'd just helped me, called me her friend. Why, did she really mean it? I've never really had friends before today-not proper ones, and now all of a sudden I had two. Two lovely friends. Alice, so mysterious and intriguing, the liveliness of her spring, gracefulness of her walk. Again, the urge to use my gift passed over me, I wanted, no, _needed_, to find out about the Cullens, they almost had an aura around them, one which both seemed to lure others and repel them. Like a magnet turning, stuck between alternate poles, both attracting and repelling.

I got out of the car and walked into the house, boxes still littered the sitting room, which led into a small study, in which my father was situated.

"Hey, dad." I called throwing my bag onto the sofa, its contents spilling out.

"Hey, Lucie! Good day? Nice school?" said my dad, from inside the study, I walked into the cluttered room, now filled with various shelves and work benches.

"Yeah, it was great actually, every seems really nice." I said with enthusiasm, proud I no longer needed to pretend. My father looked up and his face was so sincere I was taken aback, I knew he wanted me to be happy, but now I could really see just how _much _it meant to him, how much he cared for my happiness.

"That's great sweet pea, really great, come over here, look at this" he said beckoning with a paint encrusted finger, he walked over to the other side of the study and pointed towards an easel, in which a canvas was placed.

"Dad! That's amazing! Wow! It's - just, wow!" I spluttered looking at his picture. It was a whirl of colours, mossy shades of green and blue, sky grey, yet filled with light and calm stream before a dense forest.

"it's ok I guess, I painted the view from this window see," he pointed out the view, an exact copy of the painting. "it still needs a bit of work, but I figure it'll get better with time, more weather conditions you know."

"Dad, it's great honestly! Don't be so modest, I'm really glad you've started painting again."

"Me too honey, Me too." he said before drawing me into a bear hug, I smiled as he hugged me, he was finally happy. Maybe the past really could be forgotten.

***

_I ran into the dining room, the house was eerily quiet, silence filled the rooms._

"_Mummy?" I called through the room, running as I went, today was the day, today I would tell her._

_I ran into the kitchen, daddy was there, smiling as he painted a picture, a pretty one with butterflies. "Daddy? Where's mummy? I want to tell her something!" I said smiling, imagining the delight when she found out what I could do, I would tell mummy first, yes that was best! _

_But daddy was doing his puppy eyes again! I would tell him now, mummy later, daddy should know._

_I ran over and sat in his lap, absently playing with my plaits as I told him what happened earlier at school._

_Whilst I was telling daddy, mummy came in the room, carrying a tray, she had muffins! Muffins! I loved muffins, these were blueberry ones, yum!_

_I was about to tell mummy about my power, like I'd done to daddy, but he gave me an odd look, I knew what that look meant, he didn't want me to tell her. I frowned and went over to him, he placed me on his lap again and whispered in my ear._

"_It'll be our special secret!" Yay! I was amazing at keeping secrets, and daddy was right, mummy might be cross, I would keep it a secret, no one else would know._

"_What are you two whispering about?" said mummy, nibbling a muffin and smiling._

"_Nothing!" both me and daddy trilled, hiding the smiles off our faces, and each taking a muffin._

I woke up. Sweat matted my forehead, and suddenly the tears overloaded me.

I could not suppress the memories of my mother now, they flew at me, hitting me again and again. That dream, it was a memory from my childhood, I'd had it when I was seven, it was the day I was going to tell my mother about my gift, one that- at the time, I thought was actually a power, one that made me special.

That happy memory, one that brought back lovely images of my mother, alive and healthy, could not stay in my mind, instead there was another memory. A terrible one, burning behind my tear filled eyes.

My mother hanging, suspended from a rope.

Her face lifeless, wiped of all emotion.

Her eyes white; unseeing.

Dead.

A sob erupted from inside me, low and forlorn, the tears continued to fall.

All my fault.

It had happened because of me, my mother had committed suicide because of what I could do. Because I was a freak. I was 15 when I finally gave up the secret, not realising the consequences it would unearth. I had seen my mother in the garden, and her past had flown at me. Crushing me as I stood in the porch.

It was not pleasant.

Her childhood was dark, an empty abyss that continued to cloud my mother's thoughts, I saw her: being abused by her father; shouted at by her mother. The shock of her past, all of her feelings and thoughts, had overwhelmed me.

I had gone to her crying, confessing, while she crooned me, a 15 year old girl, rocked me gently, sang me a song.

My mother's past had been dark, filled with deaths and sorrow, she had never wanted me to be part of it, for me to have ever known, what she had done.

My mother had killed her step father. It was self defence, an accident, I saw all this through her memories, saw how he'd run at her, brandishing a knife, pressing it to her skin…

She'd acted instinctively, hit him with a bottle, knocked him out cold. Knocked him down with a fatal blow. The moment I confessed this to her, told her I had seen her past, my mother had turned mad, that week she'd constantly washed her hands, stayed away from knives and avoided my father and I. I told her I knew she was innocent, that I still loved her; that I would always love her. But she didn't, couldn't, _wouldn't _here me.

Next week, my mother was found dead, in the shed, she'd hung herself, because of her past, because of my power. Because of me.

Eventually my tears dried up, I forced myself to get up off the bed, it's blankets strewn across and sheet twisted, I decided to have a shower, to clear my mind.

The hot water poured down me, I put it on full power, only then could I convince myself that the hot water running down myself was from the shower, not from my own tears.

**Ok, I know that was a lot shorter, but, what did you think?**

**This is meant to give you more of an insight into Lucie's past, it's the reason why she hates her 'gift'. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**I know it was kind of short, but I didn't want to write too much about her past, more on her present life.**

**Should I carry on? If so, please review, otherwise… there's no point!**

**Big thanks to any one who's reviewed so far, I really appreciate it!**

**REVIEW!**

**Lily: now, late for school.**


	3. The Wonderful Subject of Maths

**Hey!**

**Ok so here goes, thanks to all of you who've reviewed, but I need MORE! **

**MORE!!! **

**_Disclaimer: do people always have to write these? _**

**_Me: I own TWILIGHT yay!_**

**_Edward: *appears magically* Lily, you don't, Stephanie Meyer does._**

**_Me: Liar! I do! _**

**_Edward: No you don't. _**

**_Me: Yes I do! Besides, your meant to be fictional, quit lecturing me!_**

**_Edward: Hmm… you've got a point *vanishes*_**

**_Me: NOOO!! Edward come back!_**

**_Stephenie Meyer: *appears, out of helicopter with two_ very****_large security people* Lily, admit you don't own Twilight. *Security people, raise guns!*_**

**_Me: *squeaks* I don't own Twilight…_**

**_Stephenie Meyer: That's what I thought. *vanishes back into helicopter*_**

**_Me: *sobs a lot.*_**

**Anyway, on with this:**

**What happened last chapter:**

Eventually my tears dried up, I forced myself to get up off the bed, it's blankets strewn across and sheet twisted, I decided to have a shower, to clear my mind.

The hot water poured down me, I put it on full power, only then could I convince myself that the hot water running down myself was from the shower, not from my own tears.

**The Wonderful Subject of Maths.**

Once I was dry and dressed I looked at the clock.

7am, still too early for school, but at least it was a respectable time to make my father breakfast.

I gently crept downstairs, into the kitchen -which thankfully had boxes unpacked- and started to boil some eggs, the familiar smell filling up the kitchen.

Suddenly I realised I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning and, abruptly I was starving! I cooked eggs for my father, but made pancakes for myself, looking at my time table whilst I ate them fervently.

I had English, Maths, Chemistry, Art and finally Gym. Ugh… Gym, I groaned internally, I hated that. I wasn't bad at it, just didn't like the competitive atmosphere, the pushing shoving and… the stretching. Despite the fact that I could run, for miles without being tired and the fact that I was good at most sport, I had one vital flaw. One immensely embarrassing flaw.

I _couldn't _touch my toes!

It was just physically impossible for me, however much I tried, my attempts were always abortive. There must be something seriously wrong with me, not touching toes… it was abnormal!

My dad came in the room, his eyes zoning in on the eggs and giving me an appreciative smile. He didn't talk too much in the mornings. He was like me. Mornings were not our most active or happy times of the day; what with the prospect of school, tedium of the day ahead, constant drivel from others, the… well, list went on.

I glanced a look at the clock again, 7:30 now, I gave my dad a quick kiss on the cheek, before running out into the rain, my school bag, hanging loosely on my shoulder. The clothes I was wearing, were slightly more sensible than the day before, a light cream top and a hyacinth blue cardigan, kept me much warmer than the day before, accompanied with a less shrunken pair of worn out jeans.

The drive to Forks High School was a pleasant one. The views kept most of my thoughts at bay, and instead I thought about happier things, ones including: Edward Cullen…

I didn't understand him. He-along with his entire family- was beautiful, perfect in every sense. He, was evidently in love with Bella, the pretty girl who'd hurt Angela, who'd been tactless, who'd- there I was again! Judging her. But still, Edward evidently loved Bella; that was clear just by his stance around her, the way his hand had carefully been placed around her waist, as if, to sweep her away if danger was near.

So Bella was in love with Edward.

Edward was in love with Bella.

They were soul mates, perfect for each other, both intelligent, both beautiful, nothing could separate them.

Great.

I'd arrived at school now and with a small sigh, I stopped thinking about Edward, after all, so far, he seemed to hate me.

Gently lifting my bag I stepped out into the rain.

And, was immediately whipped underneath an umbrella. I turned around, shocked. I didn't really care much about the rain, my hair was nothing special, I couldn't care less if it got wet.

"Lucie!" trilled a voice, easily recognisable by the wind chime tune.

"Alice!" I said smiling, turning to face her pixie like face. She pulled my hand briskly and we walked towards the warm. We walked through the doors and into the main entrance. I saw Jessica and Angela by the lockers and was about to greet them, when I noticed Alice. "Alice, there's really no need for the umbrella, you know…" I pointed out, we'd been inside for at least two minutes now. She turned to me, and now her expression was blank, her eyes unfocused. She swayed slightly, gripping my arm for support. What was wrong with her?! I was alarmed, she just stood there, icy and frozen..."Alice…" I said, unable to keep the worry out of my voice, her eyes were moving rapidly now, darting back an forth, and she was shaking.

The instant I said her name however, the blonde male: Jasper, was at her side. Where had he come from? He shot me a cold look, a deathly one, and gently lifted Alice by her elbows, walking hurriedly across the hall. With Alice by his side.

It had only taken a matter of seconds.

And there I stood, staring.

What had just happened? Why did Jasper now look like he was… like he wanted to _hurt _me. And why had Alice stood there, frozen and detached, had she had a fit? Was it epilepsy?

I felt footsteps walk towards me, a hand was placed on my shoulder.

"Lucie? Lucie, you okay, you look like you've seen a ghost!" said a voice, but it was distant to me, I was lost in thought. Then though, the hand slid from my shoulder to my face, resting on my forehead.

"wh-what are you-doing?" the words tumbled out my mouth. I tried to draw back, but whoever was holding me was strong, the grip wouldn't budge. I looked up, my eyes frantic. It was the blonde boy I'd met yesterday, Mike Newton.

"Checking your temperature." he stated, looking at me with a critical eye. "Your really pale Lucie, you sure your okay, I think you should go to the nurse." he said, still staring at me. Ugh! What was it with this place and 'going to the nurse,' this had happened twice now.

"N- no!" I stammered pulling out of Mike's grip, he seemed reluctant to let go, but still kept staring at me.

"Lucie, your as white as a sheet, you can't go to class now." He protested, trying to hold my hand.

I was saved, the bell rang, causing Mike to look up, and me to practically run to my first class, English.

I needed to think. The back of the English class was the perfect place. We were studying _Macbeth_, and I was grateful, in the last two years I studied _Romeo & Juliet_, more times than I could count, and to be honest I was getting sick of it. Juliet thought she had it bad…she should try living my life for a day (okay, admittidly i hadn't died...yet.)

I looked around the room, it was dark, we were watching the dramatisation of it, but it wasn't dark enough for me not to see.

Across the class was Edward, next to Bella, they were holding hands.

I felt a knot twist in my stomach.

What was it about the Cullens? Even Isabella Swan intrigued me, something wasn't right, I could tell. The way Edward had looked at me in Trigonometry, when I'd talked about Alice; the way Jasper had looked; Alice, shaking. Something was going on around them and I was going to find out.

The lights came back on, I hadn't written any notes through the film, time had passed quickly again. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward and Bella unlink there hands, I knew they hadn't taken notes either.

Angela chatted happily to me whilst we walked to Maths, she stopped though, walking into Jessica's class, I was going to have to brave Maths alone.

I walked through the door, this time I didn't bother to ask where I should sit, instead I walked towards the back of the class, to a table with no partner. The Math's lesson, like Trig, was easy, absently I looked up, having finishing the work, before the time allocated, a _lot _before the time had been allocated. It had only been 10 minutes.

Someone was at the door, it didn't take long for me to guess who, his voice drifted in, making birds' song sound atrocious compared to its intensity.

Edward walked in and stared at me. Quickly I averted my eyes back to my work, pretending to finish more questions, my heart quickening. Was it just me, or were his foot steps getting closer?

"Mind if I sit here?" asked the fluid voice, as flawless as silk.

"No, of course not." I said, inwardly cursing the blush forming around my cheeks. He sat down and chuckled, my heart leapt at the sound. What was wrong with me? Why did I enjoy a throaty sound coming deep from inside his chest. "What's so funny?" I asked in a whisper, careful to keep my hair covering most of my blush.

"You've finished already." he stated, looking at my work.

"Yeah, it's not very hard."

"Easy for you to say, you do realise this is meant to last you the _whole _lesson?" he commented, taking a pen out of his bag and scribbling down equations. I was glad, when he looked at his work; he couldn't see how red I was.

"Well, true, but you wouldn't tell Mr Banner now, would you?" I teased watching him work.

"Hmm… as a matter of fact I could do that, it'd be interesting to see how he'd cope when finding a child prodigy." he said, his work was finished, it'd been only _two minutes. _So why was there a whole mass of quadratic equations listed neatly in his book?

"You wouldn't dare!" I hissed lowly, "and besides, you've finished faster than me, and I'm _not _a child!"

He laughed again, and leaned across to whisper in my ear. His breath smelt sweet against my skin, like honey and it tickled, making me shiver involuntarily, but not due to the cold.

"Between you and me, Mr Banner is better off not knowing about my Math's skills, or yours for that matter and as for you being a child, well, you're not 18 yet are you?" he leaned back in his chair again, triumphant.

"Yes, but I'm not exactly a child am I, what with having these so called 'Maths skills'" I countered.

"Fine, your not a child." he said, his tone was still implying there was more though, and sure enough, he added in a whisper: "you can be an angry teenager, if that's what you'd prefer."

"I'd love it!" I said, knowing that winning an argument with him would be impossible.

"Good," he said and stared at me, intensifying the blush that had only just started to fade. Ugh curse you, oversensitive emotions, always giving me away! I mentally shouted, but then I remembered something.

"Edward…" I asked, timid, afraid of his reaction.

"Yes?" he said raising an eyebrow.

"Do mind telling me…why..why..you…" I trailed off, scared of his reaction, his mood was so amiable and charming at the moment, I didn't want to ruin it; like yesterday.

"Why I…?" he prompted. My words tumbled out in a long gush.

"Why, you just left yesterday? What did I say? Do you not want Alice to talk with me? Or, is it Jasper or-" but he cut me off, shaking his head.

"Lucie, why wouldn't I want you and Alice to be friends?" he asked his voice sincere.

"It's just, you, well left and then-"

"I'm sorry about that, it was…," it was his turn to struggle with words now. "Well, I'll tell you the truth, it was just something Alice said, that bit in French I mean." he said it hurriedly and frowned slightly.

"Que vivra verra?" I asked, confused.

"Yes," he said, calmly "do you know what it means?"

"No."

"It means…" he said, evidently wondering whether to tell me. I stared back at him now, into his eyes, they were more gold than the day before, was that possible? A warm shade of butterscotch, scorching, brilliantly beautiful.

"Yes?" I breathed once again, unable to look away.

"_Time will tell_…" he said, but his tone implied I shouldn't say more about it.

"I see," I said, not understanding at all.

"Do you?" he whispered, and there was pain in his voice, "Do you really?"

"…well, no?" I said, confused. At this however, his expression brightened and he smiled at me.

"Good, neither do I, Alice, she can be a bit weird sometimes that girl." He stated, as if the conversation had meant nothing to him. Yet it had meant so much to me…

"I know! For some reason, she found it essential to put me under her umbrella this morning, I'd only just got out the car." I said, trying to change the topic, but Edward, ever intelligent remembered my earlier comment.

"Wait, hang on-what did you mean earlier, about Jasper?" but before I could reply, Mr Banner was beside our desk, his face scowling.

"Talking are we? Mr Cullen, Miss…"

"Lucie, Lucie Raven." said Edward automatically, he'd remembered my second name? at this Mr Banner just sighed impatiently and whipped out Edward's book from beneath his hands.

"Well, well," he said, as his eyes raked the work, "finished again have we, Mr Cullen?"

"Yes sir." said Edward innocently.

"And, you Miss Raven?" he asked, raising both his, abnormally bushy eyebrows, the look on his face suggested he doubted it.

"Yes, I've finished Mr Banner." I said, with dignity, annoyed that he clearly doubted me. His eyes widened as he scanned through the work, out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward grin. Half the class had turned round now, watching the scene.

"Hmmpff," was all he said, before adding in a stage whisper, "in future, Mr Cullen, I do not want you to let miss Haven here copy your notes."

"I didn't-" but Edward cut me off.

"Her last name is Raven sir, like the bird? And besides, I didn't let her copy me, she'd finished before I did." sniggers from around the class proceeded this comment; I glanced back at Mr Banner's face, which was now turning red.

"Is that so? Well…" he trailed off, before mumbling "Just, hurry up and do some extra work on it." he was evidently embarrassed. It made my own face have a grin of its own.

"Thanks." I whispered gratefully to Edward as Mr Banner began scratching some extra work on the board.

"Any time," he replied, and then said in an even lower whisper. "honestly, one of these days, I may have to kill that man. Preferably with…a spoon!"

I stifled my laughter as best I could before, the bell rang, saving me.

"Bye, Lucie." called Edward, and my heart did a little summersault when he said my name.

"Bye." I said, a little too late and too low for him to hear. I was very, very, very happy. I'd just spent a whole lesson with Edward, with only one little interruption by the evil Mr Banner _and _Edward didn't seem to hate me.

Now, I officially loved Maths.

**Ta da!**

**SOOO what did you think? I was going to keep you hanging on what Alice said in French, but I couldn't resist. (let's just say…it implies more than it seems!…)**

**PLEASE REVIEW!! **

**Thanks to all who've reviewed- you rock! **

**I'll write the next chapter as soon as I can, but only if:**

**YOU REVIEW!!! Ok? Got that?**

**So you'll review? Pretty please? With whipped cream? And cherries? And chocolate sprinkles and…anything you want on top?**

**Lily x**


	4. The Realisation

**Hello! **

**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, you are the best!**

**Any questions please feel free to ask- I'll answer as fast as I can! I'll write the next chapter as soon as I get enough reviews, (ten would be nice, hint hint!), pwetty pwease? **

**Disclaimer: do I own Twilight, um no? if I did, I would be so happy, words would not describe my joy, and hey, if I did I'd be a child prodigy! But, alas, sadly Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer. However Lucie is mine all mine!**

**Anywho, here it is:**

**what happened last chapter:**

"Any time," he replied, and then said in an even lower whisper. "honestly, one of these days, I may have to kill that man. Preferably with…a spoon!"

I stifled my laughter as best I could before, the bell rang, saving me.

"Bye, Lucie." called Edward, and my heart did a little summersault when he said my name.

"Bye." I said, a little too late and too low for him to hear. I was very, very, very happy. I'd just spent a whole lesson with Edward, with only one little interruption by the evil Mr Banner _and _Edward didn't seem to hate me.

Now, I officially loved Maths.

***

**The Realisation **

Something wasn't right.

I felt it in the air as I walked through the cafeteria, sat down in an empty chair and sighed.

My intensely happy mood that had appeared during Maths had evaporated almost as suddenly as it had come. I hadn't seen Edward since then, and I was longing to do so. I needed his calm voice; so reassuring, so perfect…

I was ashamed at myself, my head was aching dully, it was only lunchtime and yet, it still felt like the day had been tiresomely long. Chemistry had been the usual, I had pretended not to feel as if the lesson was too easy and simply answered the questions when I was asked them. That was another problem with the 'gift' of mine. Seeing people's past; their every memory; thought and emotion, also includes all that they ever learn. Which, is a lot.

The teacher who had been teaching me, would never be able understand the fact that I probably knew more about Chemistry than he did. He thought he was the wisest in the class and I wasn't going to burst his bubble.

Jessica bounced before me then, smiling- I knew she was about to tell me about her day. She babbled on excitingly; but I only caught snatches of what she was saying, I couldn't listen to her, trivial dramas just didn't appeal to me today.

Lunch went by slowly, Angela joined us, smiled at me and sat down, making Jessica go over all that she'd just said to me, still the second time I didn't listen.

I'd finally realised what hadn't felt right when I'd walked into the cafeteria, why the air had felt odd, I looked up and sure enough, my suspicions were correct. The Cullens were not at their table. I knew it was because of me. Was it just a coincidence that Alice had acted oddly, just a coincidence that Jasper had looked at me, his eyes filled with loathing, just a coincidence, that Edward had changed his views of me? It was not. Some how, they all fitted together, I didn't know why, they just did.

Ach… Edward.

Pain swivelled through me. I thought about him then, quietly, through Jessica's continued banter, did she ever stop talking? His gaze had been different today, it was as if he knew more. His eyes, so deep and enthralling had been more gold, butterscotch rather than topaz. Edward alone was a mystery, but then there was Bella.

Bella, the beautiful girl, to whom I knew little about. She was lucky, in more ways than one. The first, was obvious; she was with the most perfect person on the planet, but the others, they were less apparent, but nether the less, they were still there. Bella had ignored Angela and, whether by accident or purpose I didn't know, she had hurt her feelings. I knew Bella was not heartless, she wouldn't of deliberately hurt Angela, but still, she hadn't made amends, had she?

No, but the real reason why she was so lucky, was the fact that, If I were her, the only thought consuming my mind would have been guilt. Bella, albeit pretty and pure, would never know the true meaning of guilt, her life didn't revolve around it, as mine did, it did not consume her thoughts, as it did to my own. Yes, she would feel guilty, but never the true meaning of guilt, had her own mother died because of her, because of what she was? No. That was just me. Plain, boring me, who was consumed by that single word. Guilt.

Before I knew it, lunch had passed, and Art had begun. I was confused and timorous now, hesitant; I just worked something out. Alice had not been at Lunch, for reasons evidently linked to her nearly fainting previously. Neither had the Cullens or Bella. Had they all left school to go the hospital? Was Alice hurt? Was this, like so many other things in my past, all my fault?

"Lucie?" A voice pulled me out of my reverie, it seemed so distant, so unimportant to what my mind was thinking about. "Lucie, do you know what we're doing?" I looked up, from my still blank canvas, and glanced at the clock, the lesson had been going on for 10 minutes now and I had done nothing though it. I remembered again to respond, my reactions were very off today, everything seemed so distant, my head was still aching.

"Yeah, I'm ok thanks Angela, still life, right?" My voice, again, like everything else, seemed distant, the words I was speaking came out sure though, not giving away what I really felt. Angela smiled at me, but I didn't move, I couldn't think of what to paint, my head was still spinning, thinking of too many things at once.

"I could help, I mean, I'm rubbish at Art, but-" she was still talking, but I was no longer listening. Past her head was a window, I saw someone though the glass.

Edward and Alice, talking, grinning, laughing. I let out a breath, I hadn't realised I'd been holding. Alice was ok. And, Edward was there, his smile breathtaking, his eyes a warm gold.

There was no question on what to paint now.

"Thanks Angela!" I turned to her, beaming, cutting across on what she'd been saying. "I've got it, I know what to do, you've inspired me!" I spoke the words quickly, eager to begin work, afraid that if I postponed, the image would leave my mind.

"O-Kay…" said Angela, surprised at my change in mood, but clearly happy that I was better, I knew colour was returning to my pallid face. She walked back to her picture, and I gingerly picked up a pencil, unsure where to start.

I used to paint a lot before my mother's death, like my father I had natural talent. The drawing soon took me, my hand moved in quick lithe motions over the canvas, sketching out the background. Soon it was filled with pencil, when I drew I went into an odd state, droning out all of the talk from around me; Jessica's high voice silenced; Angela's laughter ceased, the only thing that remained in my mind was the subject of my painting. Edward Cullen. A dark forest had formed on the paper, a clearing, desolate and eerie. But, in the foreground there was a figure, a pure source of light, blinding the darkness. I sketched the lean shape of his body, the elegant curve of his shoulders, the smoothness of his skin, everything I could picture flew into my mind. It was more developed now, my hand still frantically tracing and drawing, shading in the background. There Edward stood, in a meadow, enchanting and unsettling at the same time. He was the source of light, dancing off him, his stance was hunched, his face obscured by a mass of rain drenched hair. He was a dove amongst a murder of cloves, explicitly pure. I was so engrossed, so taken in, away in my trance that I didn't hear the footsteps behind me. That was the reason that when a voice spoke, I jumped, sharply being brought back to reality.

_"_Oooh! My, my what_have_ we got here?" said a voice by my shoulders enthusiastic, but still; there was no point in denying it, slightly annoying. I turned, not wanting to stop, wanting my fantasy to live on, not wanting it to end. When I didn't reply, the voice continued, still animated "Well, well this is interesting, A meadow I see, Golly, this really is a find," It was the Art teacher, Miss Taft, she had long jet black hair, braided with an assortment of multicoloured ribbons. A creative spirit. She was beside me now and made a move as if to sweep up the canvas for a closer look, but instead she found my outstretched arm, barring her way.

"Um, sorry but it's not finished yet- I'd rather you see it, when it's complete." I said carefully, It was not a complete lie. True, it wasn't finished, yet you could never truly capture what I was trying to encapsulate, one could only get so close to perfection. The main reason though was if she felt the urge to show the class, what would happen if the angel was recognised? What would happen, if _he _found out. Mrs Taft, tutted slightly but carried on by saying in a sing-songy voice. "Yes, yes, of course duck, I don't want to rush you, oooh, look now I'm all of a dither, what talent you got my dear, not just a pretty face are you?"

"Err," I mumbled, but before I get a coherent sentence out, she just smiled and trotted off-and yes, that was the only real way to describe how she walked when approaching Angela- l a lively sort of, well, trot. she was across the room in moments, I heard her speak to Angela, giving her tips, once I was sure she was gone I looked back to my work. This teacher was bizarre. Very, very, strange. My thoughts were not without reason though, in fact, I had several of her characteristics listed, proving her oddness.

Number 1: she had actually said the word 'Golly'

Number 2: she had called me, _duck_…

Number 3: she had just used the phrase 'I'm all of a dither.'

Yes, in my books, that definitely added up to being slightly weird. Shaking off this thought however, I once again, slipped into the dream like state of before, drawing the one thing that was consuming my mind, pushing out the other thoughts, which now looked so small in comparison. I painted the one thing that I knew was perfect and yet the only thing I knew was not right as yet, not complete. I realised why Edward wasn't looking up, why his face was obscured. He was in the meadow, the captivating place filled with secrets, but, he was alone, incomplete.

By the time the picture was finished I realised with a jerk, why his stance was rueful, instead of happy. Why the meadow seemed so dark, so unsettling. Edward was alone. Bella was not with him.

The realisation should have been obvious, but it still sent me into a state of despair, I hurriedly hid the picture as the bell went, behind a set of green lockers where I was sure It would not be found. The fact that I knew why Edward had looked so distant in my painting had been a painful recognition, one that left me numb. I knew how much Bella meant to him, he could not be happy without her. With her, he was content, with her he was whole.

So why did it feel like I was being ripped apart?

***

I walked to Gym, accompanied by a _very _talkative Jessica and a subdued looking Angela. Angela was acting strangely, detached from what was happening around her, I knew I wasn't the only one not listening to Jessica. I had felt terrible after drawing Edward, but now the urge gripped me, tightly, I wanted him to burn in front of my vision, distract my thoughts, keep the unwelcome ones at bay.

I relished the feeling of when I drew, that utter sense of freedom and awareness. I could almost escape into a different world, one in which I could forget the hectic tedium known to be my own life. One in which I could loose myself completely and not worry or fret about the day-to-day distractions and problems my life presented. All I wanted to do, was forget. I just wanted peace.

I was still In this thinking state when we walked into the Gym's changing rooms. I didn't have a kit, and so had to find a teacher as no one had a spare, or a t least, no one was willing to lend me one, if they possessed it. Eventually, I was provided with a P.E kit, the smallest size they had left apparently, and sent towards the now empty changing rooms.

I got changed worriedly and tried to prepare myself mentally. Gym, was an active subject. Active, usually involved communicating with others. Communicating meant talking. Talking, meant not thinking about You Know Who, (and surprisingly, I wasn't referring to the evasive 'dark lord _Voldemort'.) _With a sigh I pulled on my trainers and walked towards, I hoped was the Gym, it was, I spotted Angela looking left out in a corner, and went to join her, bleakly wondering what we were meant to be doing.

Once I reached her, smiled and sat down on a bench I finally looked down to what I was wearing.

It was composed of a mustard yellow, short sleeved polo shirt, and tight black shorts, accompanied by a pair of knee high bottle green and ghastly yellow striped socks. How I hadn't noticed it whilst putting it on, perplexed me, proving my earlier thought of not feeling well. It was-there was no there way to describe it: completely and utterly hideous.

Still, this thought was slightly mollified by the fact that all the girls had to wear it, at least this way I couldn't be singled out. Most of the girls were in a group to the right of me and Angela, every so often, a high pitched shriek of laughter would chorus round it.

It was going to be a very long hour.

But then, I noticed them. Towards the back of the Gym, I noticed Mike and a whole gang of boys, they were all leaning casually against the far wall, eyeing the group of girls surreptitiously, some with impatient eyes.

"Angela!" I hissed, standing up and dragging Angela by the arm, inclining my head towards them.

"What?" she said dazedly, as if having just woken up, she looked towards the group, her eyes settling on Ben.

"Err, What are the boys doing in here" I said quietly, momentarily forgetting her feelings towards Ben, feelings, as of yet, she didn't even realise she had.

"Boys?" she said, averting her gaze, a bewildered look upon her face.

"Yes, boys: young adult males? Generally less mature. Several of them are situated on the other side of this Gym." I stated, raising my eyebrows, incompetent at only raising one; it was one thing that made me slightly jealous of anyone capable- I've always wanted to do it.

"Because, Lucie, It's Gym, a subject compulsory for both females and males" Angela said.

"But, don't they have separate classes?" I added in a whisper, conscientious of the fact that one of the members from the group of girls was getting nearer.

"No…why, is it different in England?" she asked, apparently oblivious to on coming girl, whose face was coated in makeup. I'd never really worn make up myself. It wasn't that I didn't think I needed it, just that I'd never really got many spots through my adolescence and besides, makeup was designed for people who had normal skin. Not for people whose whole body was alabaster pale. A tanned face would contrast, _interestingly _with my neck I supposed, but better off not wasting money.

"Yeah…" I mumbled back to Angela, makeup girl was only a meter away now. Angela seemed to get the message, as she let the subject drop and began staring at her feet, talking quickly in an animated whisper.

"That's Lauren." her tone implied dislike.

"You mean makeup face." I mumbled, as Angela tried best she could to stifle her laughter.

"Sooo, _you're _the new girl." she sneered, her eyes scanning me, small figure, blonde hair loosely falling past my shoulders. "Huh, I thought you'd be more special looking, I can't imagine why everyone's talking about _you_…" she continued, as a murmur of high pitched giggles sounded from behind her. Great, she had _minions_. I didn't respond to her, just looked down, bored of her voice, it hurt my ears a bit, a sort of un-tuned squeak. "Uh, you need to tie your hair back…duh." she stated still sneering.

"Sorry," I muttered before I could stop myself, "I didn't realise it was a criminal offence." my words came out hard cold, indifferent.

Instantly her sneer turned into a glare, I bit back a smile.

"Are. You. Being. Sarcastic?" she spat, through clenched teeth. _Honestly_, I'd just made one, tiny ironic remark and she was already throwing daggers at me.

I was about to reply, maybe question her on what _sarcastic _actually meant, as it seemed she didn't know much English- or at least that was my interpretation. But before I could speak, Mike walked over. Lauren's face was suddenly transformed, the glare had gone and instead it was replaced by a sort of demented pout, she looked a bit like a duck. I couldn't decide which I liked least about her: her bitchiness; or attempt at flirting.

"Hey, Mike!" she drawled, playfully hitting him on the arm, definitely pouting now, emphasising her prominent lips, coated in fuchsia pink lip gloss.

"Erm, hi Lauren." said Mike awkwardly, I was glad at his obvious dislike towards her, plainly shown in his expression, as his eyes too, looked at her, probably wondering if she was trying to do a duck impression.

"So, Mikey, are you gonna ask me to be your partner in Basketball?" drawled Lauren again, her voice sickly sweet. Ah ha! She had a use: I now knew what we were doing in Gym! (If only I'd noticed the nets on either side and Basketballs lining the benches…)

"Err, well um," spluttered Mike, steadily retreating from Lauren, his eyes wary, "I was actually going to ask Lucie." he addressed this last part towards me, his eyes hopeful. Suddenly, everyone's eyes were on me; mike's hopeful ones; Lauren's now livid ones; and Angela's indifferent ones, along with the other girls in the group. I noticed Jessica, who for some reason was also glaring at me, her expression similar to Lauren's.

I didn't know what to do. I'd already arranged to go with Angela before hand, but the look on Lauren's face would provide some entertainment, plus I didn't feel so mean in letting Mike have to deal with her as a partner. Just hearing her _talk _was torture enough.

Making a split decision I said:

"Yeah, sure," at this Mike's eyes widened, so I added quickly-not wanting to give the wrong impression. "but only if Angela can come, you don't mind do you?" I asked Mike who just nodded, apparently rendered speechless, though for what reason, I was unsure. Angela just smiled gratefully at me, not realising that I was far more grateful to her being there, the thought of Mike and I alone was not a pretty one, as even _with _Angela there, his heart seemed content on, well, doing what Lauren had done. Flirting. Fortunately he soon gave up, and resorted to asking me innocent questions in-between warm up exercises. Soon Angela was called to play a match, leaving me an Mike on the sidelines.

"Your from England." He said, spinning the Basketball on his finger, whilst keeping his eyes firmly locked on me. I just stared at the ball. This one was a statement, but I answered it anyway, not wanting to leave an awkward silence, there had already been several.

"Yeah, I just moved here," I said, smiling.

"Cool." said mike, before adding, "That P.E kit looks nice on you by the way."

At this I couldn't suppress a snort.

It truly was the worst chat up line _ever_.

"Please Mike!" I said in between giggles, "This, is, Hideous!"

"Oh, well… yeah, I suppose…" Mike trailed off, he'd turned red.

"Mike Newton! Lucie Raven! Your turn on the pitch!" shouted the Basketball coach, a distinctly broad man, too broad to be classified as very healthy, I wondered how he became a P.E teacher, one subject that generally requires you to be of reasonable fitness. I walked onto the pitch stared around.

Ok, I've got to just get the ball and, throw it, yes that was the best option. But then, I saw Lauren. Her face was almost contorted in an angry snarl. Her face was florid from playing two games and she stared at me, with the uttermost loathing. It was only then when I realised what she was holding.

A very heavy basketball.

I ran, backwards towards my own goal, Lauren followed and hurled it towards me. I shut my eyes tight, waiting for the collision.

Amazingly, it missed.

Sighing with relief I opened my eyes, _damn_. The ball was right next to me, I had to pick it up and so I did, and well, practically tripped over my own two feet and _just _about managed to throw it to Mike, who sprinted down the side of the court and scored. The coach, apparently noticing my lack of coordination, sent me off for the next match. Which was, incidentally, very wise of him. I sat down on a bench and the lesson passed slowly but surely, when the bell rang signifying the end of school, I was already changed, I didn't bother to brush my hair, it looked the same as always, long and light falling down my back. My face was not red like everyone else's, instead it was pale, with two slightly pink cheeks, no one would think I'd just played Basketball, or participated in any sort of exercise at all, for that matter.

I walked out into the lot. I was going to walk to my car, but, there by a shiny silver Volvo (right next to my old blue car) was Edward, Bella by his side. I watched them, they couldn't see me, I was behind a shrubbery area and a hedge was partially obscuring there vision. I could see them, they could not see me.

Bella walked around the car, kissed Edward lightly on the cheek and got inside, her expression was odd. Troubled. But how anyone could think of anyone but him, when they were that close bemused me, so instead I turned my attention back to Edward. He was talking with Alice now, and he looked, almost confused.

I suddenly thought how stupid I was. A complete and utter creep, spying on them like this, so briskly I walked out from behind the hedge and walked towards my car.

Then I saw Alice's expression. That alone made me stand stock still in the road. Her eyes were vacant, expressionless, darting. A horrible wave of reminiscence washed over me. It was happening again.

Edward's head snapped up, his gazed penetrated my own. His expression was beautiful, yet unmistakable. Pure horror.

I stood there, petrified. I had no idea of what to do. Edward's eyes stopped my thoughts for a second. He was still staring at me, he gaze intent, but not in the way that he gazed at Bella, the gaze now was screaming out at me, telling me to run. What I saw in Edward's eyes, was probably mirrored in my own. Terror.

And then, it hit me.

**Dun dun dun!**

**Hope you like **_**that **_**one. (sorry I haven't been able to update sooner, my laptop died when I was writing this yesterday and I got really annoyed as I had to write it all again!)**

**Please review, questions are more than welcome, seriously!**

**I'll update the next one after I get enough reviews. No reviews. No update, simple.**

**Thanks loads who've reviewed so far, you know who you are out there! **

**Remember: REVIEW!**

**Lily x**


	5. The Deadliest Thing Of All

**Hey! Ok, sorry if you find this boring, but It might fill in a few blanks! I was SO happy when I saw 22 reviews (my favourite number!) thanks so much you guys!**

**I was very worried this morning, I'd just handed in my French coursework the night before and I was thought it was riddled with mistakes, so I was really worried I'd get a D!**

**As it turns out, even though I spent the least time on it due to an amazing thing known as fan fiction, I actually got the highest grade in the class!**

**Yay- so here's to celebrate!**

**Disclaimer: Guess what? I'm not Stephenie Meyer- so, yup you guessed it, I don't own Twilight.**

**Enjoy!**

**What happened last chapter:**

Then I saw Alice's expression. That alone made me stand stock still in the road. Her eyes were vacant, expressionless, darting. A horrible wave of reminiscence washed over me. It was happening again.

Edward's head snapped up, his gazed penetrated my own. His expression was beautiful, yet unmistakable. Pure horror.

I stood there, petrified. I had no idea of what to do. Edward's eyes stopped my thoughts for a second. He was still staring at me, he gaze intent, but not in the way that he gazed at Bella, the gaze now was screaming out at me, telling me to run. What I saw in Edward's eyes, was probably mirrored in my own. Terror.

And then, it hit me.

***

**The Deadliest Thing Of All**

Bella had steeped out the car. She turned, her face flicking from Alice to Edward and finally: me.

That was the moment that it happened, the very second her deep brown eyes met my own, it all came at me, so fast.

A thousand thoughts reverberated inside me, blinding colours, scorching light. Again, they became more composed, more defined.

_A girl, small and fragile, tripping over; grazing her knee. _

_Living with parents, loving them caring for them, acting as the parent. Seeing their struggles. Parents splitting up, feeling distraught, living with mother, helping her, wanting her alone to be happy._

_Another thousand emotions washed over me, fierce and strong, like the current of the sea. Determination. Growing up._

_Not caring about herself, going to school, constantly tripping feeling turmoil, life in disarray; not knowing what to do. Mother meeting Phil, happy for her, biting back resentment, knowing what__'__s best to do._

_Moving to Forks, seeing Charlie, so happy at her return, grateful for this, glad to see him, to find similarities._

_Going to school, feelings mixed, worried, anxious, still sad. _

_Meeting Jessica, everyone knowing her, calling her Isabella, irritation. Boys talking to her, being friendly, too friendly. Seeing resentment, in other's eyes. Seeing Edward, feelings confused, he was breathtaking, his beauty blinding, seeing hatred towards her mirrored in his eyes. Eyes black and dark, sitting next to him in Biology. Scared, of why he didn't__like her. Why he looked in pain, why his face was so contorted in hate._

_Thinking about him, accepting the new life, cooking for Charlie. _

_Dreaming about him._

Another flood of emotions, sounds, thoughts and feelings hit me, I heard I noise, distant; unreal. Car tyres scraping, a feeling of cold against my skin, dragging me.

_Seeing Edward again, knowing something wasn__'__t right, his eyes, a different colour. Questions swishing around. His gaze, intent, beseeching. Feeling drawn to him, more strange occurrences. His presence, his aura, filled with mystery._

_A car swivelling towards her, seeing Edward in the distance. Edward stopping the car, making an indent in its side. Him staring at her, he__'__d saved her. With seemingly inhuman strength._

_Edward not answering her questions, avoiding her, advising to stay away. Talking with him, getting lost by his beauty; unable to think straight in his presence._

_Being dazzled. More dreams with him, by her side, staying with her. Meeting an old friend, tall and russet skinned: Jacob Black. Feeling warmed by him, glad for his presence. Talking with him, flirting, trying to find out about Edward._

_Having more dreams; vivid, scarier._

I heard, no _felt_ more shouts, a car door slamming, hands against my face, cool arms supporting me, sensations of falling…

_Researching legends, feeling suspicious, Edward and his beauty; his cold touch; intricate eyes; his inhuman strength._

_Finding out the truth._

_Not caring, realising love for Edward._

_Lost. Seeing men advancing towards her, air damp, hearing their cruel laughter, seeing their snarls, jeering her. Afraid. Alone. Seeing Edward, livid, his face contorted with fury, jumping into the car with him, staring at him, grateful._

_Edward talking, asking theories, in a restaurant, waitress coming, feeling jealousy resentment towards her, Edward not noticing, still staring at her. In shock. Being made to eat._

_Talking in a car, with Edward._

_Edward confessing the truth._

_He was a vampire. _

_Seeing pain in Edward__'__s face, disgusted at himself. But he only ate animals, his whole family like him. Only seeing beauty, no monster._

_Edward telling her: her can read minds. Feeling embarrassed, scared; remembering when he said she was hard to read, to decipher._

_Edward not reading her mind._

_Alice; seeing the future._

_Jasper; changing moods._

More colours, emotions thundering down, over powering, falling, falling…

_Edward staying with her, becoming a couple, watching her sleep._

_Staying with him, kissing him. Exhilaration, anticipation, love, affection. Edward holding her, miracle cool touch, soothing voice; texture of velvet._

_More information, knowledge, more vampires. Rosalie, showing dislike, Alice enthusiasm, Emmet, cheeriness, Jasper, pain. Running with Edward, feeling the air, feeling sick._

_Going to a baseball match. Thunder, lighting._

_Watching in awe, speed agility. _

_Alice, her eyes vacant; seeing the future. More vampires arriving, Edward protecting her, pulling her behind him. Seeing the other vampires._

_Seeing their eyes._

_Blood curdling crimson. The colour of human blood._

_One vampire noticing, Edward growling. Him staring at her; red eyes seeing hers. Running. Escaping, going with Alice, Edward leaving. Worried, scared, helpless, useless._

My head was whirring, my mind slipping, the scenes continued to flash across my mind, the emotions and thoughts rapidly hitting, coming, faster. More voices, vague; indistinct. I could feel myself being lifted, the same cool embrace, but too late, I couldn't wake up. More thoughts were coming:

_A ballet studio. Looking for someone, trying to save her, hearing the voice, her mother__'__s, running, seeing a video._

_Turning, seeing James, terror rising, overwhelming fear._

_James videoing, hurting her tormenting her. Knowing death was near._

_Edward. Seeing him, hearing him, fighting with James._

_James running at her, screaming for Edward. Edward running, being too late._

_James biting her, his teeth sinking deep into her flesh, her wrist burning._

_Immeasurable pain hitting her. Screaming. Fire. Seeing Edward, kissing her hand, pain fading, lapsing into unconsciousness._

_All being safe, Edward near, happy, content._

_Seeing Edward, smiling, taking her to his house, showing presents. Opening them, cutting her finger. Jasper hurtling towards her, throwing her against glass, cutting her arm, blood flowing steadily down._

_Edward hearing her apologising, shouting at her, wrath and passion in his golden gaze._

_Edward remote, without feeling, asking her to follow him, going into a wood. _

_Edward leaving her._

_Searing pain, darkness forming, unable to move, unable to live._

_More memories, vast amounts of time passing. Nightmares forming, waking up screaming. Feelings of numbness and despair. Waking up, trying to get on with life. Not succeeding. Meeting Angela properly, seeing her kindness, still feeling distant. Angela advising her to see Jacob. Meeting him, seeing him, warmth returning._

_Jacob acting as the sun. Forgetting about Edward, smiling with Jacob, laughing with him. Feeling safe, happy again, more content._

_Jacob staring at her, confessing to her, saying she was beautiful. Feelings of excitement, tenderness, and confusion._

More voices, more sounds, I heard a name I recognised, a voice next to my ear, soothing, musical.

_Jacob acting strangely. A meadow, a vampire: Laurent, wolves chasing him. Saving her. Recognising one of them. Confronting Jacob. finding out that he was a werewolf, not feeling afraid, instead overwhelming affection. Staring at Jake, seeing him more closely. in a new light. Realising Edward was never coming back. Moving on._

_Jacob kissing her, his touch warm and pleasant. Not retreating, staying with him, his hands knotting in her hair, feeling his heat against her skin. Kissing him back. Laughing with Jacob, him going on hunt for vampires. Victoria was after her. Horror, fear. Running at the cliff, wanting to forget, trying to imitate Quil and Embry. Falling._

I felt sick. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see, I couldn't even _think_… More memories thrashing at me, pulling me under, I felt myself drift down, too deep: unable to resurface.

_Seeing Alice, hearing about Edward, hearing his suffering. _

_Feeling guilty._

_Still loving him. _

_Jacob__…_

_Edward__…_

_More thoughts, a scene, Italy, Edward, walking into the sunlight, feeling desperation, running to him, making him stop, A clock striking._

_The Volturi, menacing and powerful, Edward safe, guilt over powering her. Seeing the devotion in his eyes, loving him; but knowing he alone was not enough._

_Returning back to school. Staying with Edward, needing him, his cold touch his golden eyes. An addiction. Thinking about Jacob, meeting him secretly, not wanting Edward to know, guilt and shame hitting her, not knowing what to do. Who to choose. Edward, constantly by her side, protecting her. Seeing a new girl, watching boys chase after her. Not feeling sympathy, remembering her first time here._

_New girl watching her, looking at Edward. Not liking her gaze, too complex, her understanding was frightening._

_Alice having more visions, acting oddly talking to the girl._

_Walking out to Edward__'__s car, Edward holding her hand, a lead weight rising in her chest, unable to look at him, loving him and loving Jacob, unable to live without them. Getting into his car. Looking out, seeing Alice her eyes vacant; having another epiphany, a vision. Seeing Edward__'__s face contort; he was reading Alice__'__s mind. Following Edward__'__s gaze, seeing the girl__…__ a thousand colours darting flashing, blinding, then darkness__…_

The pain had ceased.

It had stopped.

I finally had my answer.

Edward; his family, the reason why they were different.

Vampires.

Suddenly, I heard voices, sounds, everything hit me, as reality re-formed around me. Cold hands pressed to my forehead. Hard stone pressing against my back. Damp air, my own cold sweat.

With a gasp I opened my eyes.

My sight was hazy, everything was swimming; in and out of focus. A high trilling voice was speaking quickly; explaining something. I couldn't concentrate.

"She's conscious Alice, quick, we've got to move her, she's in the middle of the road!" I was being lifted, I tried to breath. It felt like I'd been winded, when I did catch a breath, I spluttered and coughed, my breathing came in out in harsh rasps.

"Alice?" I croaked, barely a whisper, no normal person could of heard it.

But then again, Alice was a vampire. She wasn't normal-she had supernatural hearing.

"Lucie! It's ok, don't worry, we're just taking you to the nurse, every thing will be ok, all ok, ok, ok...." Alice voice, yet quick and high was soothing, but she wasn't right, nothing was ok… nothing at all, everything was chaos.

I could see clearly now, I was floating, suspended by Jasper and Alice, even though I knew either one of them had the strength to lift me alone. It was all a façade. Their clever act in trying to pretend they were human, when they were not.

I could see my reflection in the window opposite. My face was drained of all colour, my lips were white, my blonde hair obscuring half of my vision. It fell down my face and shoulders, still looking neat, I wasn't bleeding, or hurt, yet I looked so breakable, so fragile.

"Lucie, I need to know if you can remember my name" said Jasper, his tawny eyes staring at me. I felt as if I was going to explode, my heart was hammering, my thoughts incoherent. But then calm washed over me, lapping gently around me in waves.

But of course! Jasper had that power…

"Put-put me down, please!" I gasped, not answering his question, they took a quick anxious look at each other and nodded, placing me on the sidewalk.

"What happened?" it was all I could ask,even though I knew the very answer. my voice was so quiet, so weak. It was pathetic.

"Lucie, you fainted, just fell down, knocked unconscious, right in the middle of the road!" exclaimed Alice, talking rapidly.

Wrong.

I'd just seen Bella's whole life, her every thought and emotion. Alice had seen a vision involving me, causing Bella to get out the car. Bella had looked at me, and then her past had hit me, Causing me to go into a state in which my body could not respond, a state that resembled unconsciousness or fainting.

"Then, Eric's car, he didn't see you, it was hurtling towards you…" Alice said, her eyes seeing too much. I couldn't really hear what she was saying, my mind was working overboard. What had she seen in her vision? "Edward pulled you away, me and Jazz tried to wake you up." she said, looking at me, her eyes wide.

"Edward…" I mumbled, it was the only thing I had heard in her speech, my mind wavered slightly. Had I said that out loud?

"Lucie," it was Jasper now, again I felt calm. It was actually quite annoying, I needed to think, Jasper's powers changing my mood was not helping matters. "Lucie, you need to go the nurse." he stated, staring at me, his pain was masked by concern, but I could still see it. He wanted to kill me. To drink my blood, but he was good, I knew this, Bella's mind had provided me with the biggest insight possible. He wasn't a killer- just a... vampire.

Then, what Jasper had actually said found me, hit home, and I nearly shouted at them, my sudden irritation breaking Jasper's calm.

"What is it with this place, and the flipping NURSE!" _Seriously_, I'd been here two days, TWO days, and so far, it'd been three times since I'd been nearly sent to the evasive nurse. I needed to make a vow to myself: I would _never _go there! Never be looked at by the evil nurse...

"Lucie…" said Alice nervously, but she was smiling, trying not to laugh at my change in mood and the now puzzled look on Jasper's face.

"Sorry Alice, it's just, I'm fine now, don't worry about me, this happens all the time." I apologised, quickly thinking on how to get away from the dreaded nurse.

"Of course Lucie, I'm sure you frequently faint, nearly get crushed by a car and then refuse to go to get your head checked." said Alice, sitting me up. Thankfully she was smiling, I knew all too well that if she wanted to make me go to the nurse, she was more than capable.

I suddenly thought of something.

They didn't know I knew about their secret.

What would happen If they knew I knew?

But I already knew the answer; It'd been shown through Bella's past.

Edward's words, _"Sometimes they guess right, then we simply go, become a frightening memory."_

They would leave…

"Yeah, well… I s'pose…" I mumbled, deciding just to stay quiet, gripping her hand and standing up. I couldn't let them leave. Not now that I knew that I was not the only one with a gift. I was not the only one who possessed guilt.

Jasper was behind me. Honestly, the way he stood, arms outstretched, it looked like he thought I was going to fall over.

He was correct.

The moment I stood up, a wave of vertigo hit me, I swayed and then fell, hard, into Jasper's arms. They were like granite. I was going to get a bruise.

I heard an almost inaudible wince, anyone else would of thought it was due to my weight, falling on him, yet I knew it wasn't.

He was so close to me, so close to his prey.

He must be in agony, my scent, intoxicating him.

Alice, was beside me now, having more self control, she led me outside again. _Yes_, I'd evaded the nurse once again! I thought; and then seriously wondered if I had hit my head, surely it was not normal to feel pleased when one doesn't have to see a nurse?

I explained to Alice I could drive, but she didn't listen, instead, her and Jasper drove me home.

They smiled at me and then drove off into the distance, I walked inside, glad I'd regained my balance then I shouted a greeting to my dad.

"Hey I'm home!" I called, albeit weakly, I needed to be alone, to think.

My father just nodded, he was engrossed in a book. Thank god. I felt like I was gong to collapse again. My stomach was churning, though not due to lack of food, and my head throbbed causing me to intake a breath.

I practically sprinted upstairs and into my room.

I curled onto my bed, pulling my knees up towards my chest, rocking back and forth.

The actual size of hat I knew about the Cullens was finally dawning on me.

Edward was a vampire.

Bella was in love was him.

Bella was also in love with Jacob.

I distantly realised, as I curled into the foetal potion under the blankets, that I wasn't acting correctly, or _thinking _correctly for that matter.

They were vampires.

Cold blooded, destined to destroy, destined to kill.

I, like and amongst all other humans; was their pray.

Anyone of them could kill me, with a single blow, knocking me unconscious; sucking the life out of me.

I should be screaming.

I should be running.

I should feel terror and fear. Horror and disgust.

But I felt none of those. There was only one feeling clouding my mind, obscuring all else in its path.

Edward…

The pain threatened to overwhelm me, I hugged my knees closer to my chest.

The feeling I felt was not fear nor dread.

It was far worse. It alone could ruin everything.

The feeling I had was more powerful than I'd ever felt before, it gripped me, holding me, bounding me where I lay. It was far worse than hatred, far more irrational than fear, far more lethal than horror.

Desire.

The most deadly thing of all.

**Okay, so that was that, what did you think?**

**I didn't like it very much, but that's just because it was hard to write, for some obscure reason. If you thought It was rubbish please just tell me, criticism is welcomed along with compliments.**

**I needed to get this chapter out (so sorry if you found it boring!) because it explains how Lucie knows about the Cullens' 'lil secret'**

**Please, please, please, review!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! It's the only thing that inspires me to write on…**

**I won't demand any reviews anymore, but still, I am allowed to beg, aren't I?**

**Please? Pretty please, I'll, I'll, I'll.... be so grateful!**

**lily- who loves all who review!**


	6. Hiding the Hidden Truth

**Ok, first of all I'm really, really, immensely happy; 31 reviews so far! YAY! So thanks to all who reviewed, you now officially rock!**

**On a sadder note, I only got 5 reviews for chapter 5 (yeah, kinda ironic I know, and don't get me wrong I was SO happy when I got them!) but, that's the fewest so far… does that mean it was bad? :(**

**Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to whoever reviewed the last, I posted it for those people out there, hopefully this should clear the story a bit up! (oh yeah… and the whole shortening things didn't really last…sorry….) :p**

**Disclaimer: ... I always forget these ... Do i own Twilight, If I did then would I be cold due to broken central heating? No, Beacuse I'd be super rich and would hire a nice old space heater, as it is however, I am freezing and my laptop, along with numerous amounts of duvets and pillows, is the only thing keeping me warm. So, the answer is no, if I owned Twilight; I'm sure i'd be a lot warmer.**

**What happened last chapter:**

Edward…

The pain threatened to overwhelm me, I hugged my knees closer to my chest.

The feeling I felt was not fear nor dread.

It was far worse. It alone could ruin everything.

The feeling I had was more powerful than I'd ever felt before, it gripped me, holding me, bounding me where I lay. It was far worse than hatred, far more irrational than fear, far more lethal than horror.

Desire.

The most deadly thing of all.

***

**Hiding the Hidden Truth.**

My face was swathed in cotton; buried in my pillows, my head sandwiched in between them, whilst I desperately waited for sleep to take me under its peaceful wing. But unfortunately, it did not… I lay spread eagled across my bed, unable to sleep. My head filled with too much information, too many thoughts, too much of everything.

I gave up my pitiable attempt at sleep; it clearly wasn't working.

I tried to figure out what I knew, from what I suspected.

Number 1: I knew the Cullens were vampires.

Number 2: I _knew _all about Bella's past.

Number 3: I suspected that Alice's visions had been to do with me.

All of this ended up to me still feeling totally and utterly: useless. I was pathetic. Weak. _Human._ Why did that word sound so ugly compared to vampire, why did I feel the need to see Edward, to hear his velvet voice, to see his face…

But I couldn't think about him now, doing so would prevent me trying to decipher Bella's confusing past, so detailed and intricate. It had all hit me so quickly. I was shocked at my reactions over the past few days. Both times in which I had experienced my gift, I had either fainted or came very close to doing so. This had never happened before, normally the thoughts would hit me but I would merely stay still, looking silly; but fainting-no, I'd never done that.

Bella's past was so detailed, even though it had came at me so quickly and un-expectantly, I could still remember every aspect, every single element of it was locked up in my mind, which was now suffering because of it.

Bella was besotted with Edward, this much was certain. Her thoughts and memories did not do justice to his presence, Edward was so much more than what Bella could see, the devotion in his eyes when he looked at her, the way he moved around her, forever careful, forever proving his adoration.

The knot in my stomach twisted painfully.

Bella had been through _a lot, _there was no point in denying this factor. She had struggled, so far, with two sadistic vampires. James and Victoria. I _did _feel sympathy for Bella, the pain she had experienced, emotions she had had felt and guilt. But, at the same time my other emotion towards Bella, albeit irrational, was stronger and it boiled inside me, igniting a fire.

Rage.

I was angry at her. For what she was doing to Edward. She loved Jacob, and yet still loved Edward and could not choose. Did she not realise how much pain and remorse they would both feel if either found out about the other? Did she not realise how much Edward had done for her, how much he cared about her, how much he would do for her, in order to keep her safe?

And she was throwing it all back in his face - just like she had done to Angela, _honestly, _she was hanging out with a werewolf for crying out loud!

Yes, it was true that, I didn't know much about the matter of werewolves and their self control. So, maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to judge them. But still, from what I had seen through Bella's memories, it didn't look too safe; Emily's face, loomed in front of my eyes. I shivered slightly. No, I don't think being a round a werewolf is exactly the safest thing to do.

But, then again, vampires aren't exactly renowned for being cuddly, are they?

I looked at the clock, it was 12:00pm, midnight; the darkest hour and yet I still didn't feel tired, on the contrary, I felt wide awake.

One of Bella's memories flew at me then. And I was scared; surprised; and very shocked all at the same time.

The meadow.

Edward's and Bella's meadow: the beautiful place in Bella's memory that had been so enchanting, and perfect, where Edward had stared at Bella and she had stared back. The diamonds showering off his skin, he was so perfect, so happy so (I though about Jacob,) …easily deceived.

But, none the less, it was exactly the same.

My picture in Art, the meadow, eerie and dark, filled with mystery and hidden secrets. Naturally there had been one big difference between the meadow in my picture and the one in Bella's mind. In Bella's memory, the meadow had been beautiful, intense and perfect, Edward had been beautiful, content and whole.

In my drawing however; the meadow had not been happy and bright. Beautiful yes, enchanting and intriguing, yes, but perfect? No. The only perfection had been Edward, even though sadness had filled his features. He had looked different, remorseful and filled with despair, not whole. It didn't take a genius to guess the difference between them, the perfect meadow had a happy Edward. The one I had drawn had had a sad Edward. The difference was: Bella.

Edward could only, _would _only be happy with Bella by his side.

But still, why had I drawn it? I did not possess the future like gift that Alice had, but, _how _did I draw the meadow. There was no mistaking between the two, both were alike, merely shown in different light. The one with Bella in; was in daylight, dawn. The one without Bella; was in nightfall, midnight.

I had never been to the meadow. But now, I wanted to. Desire gripped me again, I needed to see it with my own eyes, convince myself this was not all a dream.

If it was a dream, I was sure of one thing: I did not want to wake up.

With these thoughts still swimming in my mind, I drifted of into an uneasy sleep; where my dreams were filled with fire and ice, two opposing forces each destroying the other, leaving only destruction in their path…

***

I woke up, looked across at my clock and mentally kicked myself. 7:30 am: _damn_, I'd overslept!

My eyes groggy, I aimed a kick at my inefficient alarm clock, which now, I would have to replace, I got washed hurriedly, threw on a pair of jeans and a pale shirt, and rushed downstairs. My stomach rumbled unhelpfully, but I decided not to skip breakfast; I had lost a dangerous amount of weight since I'd moved here, not having enough time to worry about food.

Quickly grabbing some toast, giving my dad a quick peck on the cheek (except I missed, and kissed his forehead instead) I dashed outside, towards the car. The sky was grey and cloudy, for some reason, this made my mood lift slightly; before I remember the reason: the Cullens wouldn't be at school if it was sunny.

My mind was still buzzing, but thankfully, not as much as before. The nights sleep had cleared my mind. So, whilst in the car, I decided what I would do.

I was not going to tell the Cullens I knew there secret.

If they found out in time, then I would deal with it there and then.

Right now I needed to concentrate on whatever I could possible to keep Edward at bay, I could not think about him when I was around, he-being a mind reader, would surely realise I knew.

Wait.

How, _why_, had Edward not moved away already? He could read minds, he would have read mind, seen my gift, known I could discover his whole family's secret. Did he already know, or could he not read…no, that was impossible.

There was only two reasons I could think of why he was still here.

Firstly: he could read my mind, and seen my powers, he'd either noticed I was not a threat or, he could have thought I could have a use.

Secondly: he can't read my mind… (this thought was my favourable one, I knew It was highly unlikely, but; would this explain the intensity of his gaze throughout Maths? The reason why he had been so kind to me, talked to me? All in curiosity?)

Knowing Edward could read my mind, made me feel anxious, through my mind, he could access Bella's memories, her feelings towards Jacob. It would tear him apart. It was all too risky, there was only one thing in which I could do to keep Edward and Bella safe. Keeping my thoughts in control, simply wouldn't work, I knew this much; the moment I looked into his eyes I would crack, and my thoughts would be revealed.

There was only one solution.

I was going to have to avoid him.

I pulled up into the lot, grabbed my bag and dashed out the car. I probably looked like a fugitive, constantly looking over my shoulder; making sure _he _was not near. I saw Angela and let out a sigh of relief, I had history with her, first lesson.

Before I came to Forks I had worried about my lessons in History, coming from England, I did not know much about the American History and I was worried I wouldn't be able to keep up. But, now I'd seen both Angela's and Bella's past; I knew practically all there was to know. I'd reached Angela now and was surprised, the moment she looked at me, her face paled and concern filled her gaze.

"Lucie…" she asked warily, still looking at me strangely, her eyes worried.

"Angela, what's up, you ok?" I asked, what had happened?

"I should ask you!" she said, still looking at me.

"What…?" I trailed off, she grabbed my arm-firmly, but gently, and placed me on a chair, looking down at me, her expression critical.

"Lucie, what happened? I come into school today, and everyone's saying you fainted, nearly got hit by a car and-" I cut her off.

"Oh, that…" I mumbled, _darn_… I forgot about what people would've seen. "You see, I can explain…" but I couldn't, how could I explain what had happened yesterday?

"Oh, really?" said Angela, her tone doubtful. Huh? Was she angry at me? My expression fell, revealing my hurt, Angela noticed and her voice was soothing when she talked again.

"Lucie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I was just worried, you know how quick news travels round this place."

"Yeah, I really do." I said, standing up and walking with her to History, vaguely contemplating how many more people I would have to retail my story too, groaning at the thought.

"You ok?" said Angela, having heard my groan.

"Fine," I lied "just wondering how many people are going to ask about what happened." Angela laughed at this and turned to face me, having reached the History block.

"You really don't like attention, do you?"

She had no idea how right she was.

"Hate it." I whispered, smiling as we walked into History.

The room was small and stuffy, desks took up the little space there was and an old looking man was writing up the date, the teacher. The room was already full of people, thankfully Edward was not one of them, my thoughts, as yet, were safe. But for some reason, no-one was sitting down, everyone was lined up against the wall opposite, Angela walked towards it, as if it was a regular occurrence

"Mr Gorge likes to arrange his seating plans like this, whenever there's a new student." Angela whispered as we took our places in the crowded line. Ugh, I'd forgotten I was new, this was only my third day. It felt like I'd already been here for 3 years.

"Right." said Mr Gorge, peering up through his spectacles, his bushy eyebrows raising. "As you probably all know, we have a new student: Luciana Raven."

"Lucie." I corrected bored of the continued repetition of each new class.

"Lucie will sit next to Eric I think," He continued, carefully placing each student in different seats, the whole process took over half an hour.

One everyone was seated, Mr Gorge started his lecture, I knew what he was talking about already, Angela's knowledge really was massive. I didn't need to take notes, and neither, it appeared did Eric, as he slipped a note next to me instead.

I opened it up, wondering what it was about.

_I'm so sorry!_

Hmm? What he mean, he was sorry? I wrote a note back and slipped the paper next to him.

_**Why are you sorry?**_

_I nearly ran over you yesterday, I didn't see you, I could have killed you! I'm so sorry, please, please forgive me!_

_**Your forgiven, it was my fault, no-one normally faints in the middle of the road, don't worry about it.**_

His eye brows pulled together at this, shocked at my calm state, I knew most girls would react differently to a comment like this. But then again, I wasn't like most girls was I?

_You sure your ok? I mean I saw Edward Cullen save you, I don't know what would have happened if he wasn't there, then that little girl- Alice ran over. Did you get home ok? Are you sure you should be at school?_

Ugh… why was _everyone _is this darn town so worried about my health!

_**I'm fine honest, Alice drove me home- wait, what did you say, about Edward?**_

_Didn't they tell you? He just ran to you, pulled you away, saw my bad driving…_

Come to think of it, I did recall Alice telling me that, but at the time, I think I was slightly delirious, what with trying to evade the school nurse.

_**No, they told me, sorry I forgot, don't worry about me, I'm really fine this sort of thing only ever happens to the incredibly misfortunate, i.e. : me**_

_Well, ok then, if your sure your ok._

I decided to change the subject, this conversation was becoming a bit repetitive.

_**Well, this lesson is… interesting.**_

_Welcome to the wonders of History, my friend!_

I smiled at him, but stopped, Mr Gorge was approaching handing out work sheets, soon the lesson was filled with the sounds of pens scratching against paper. Thankfully, Eric seemed to want to do well in History, as he stopped talking-well, note passing- and eagerly began work. I couldn't help thinking he was being a bit too eager, evidently trying to impress.

The lesson passed and soon I was once again with Angela, walking swiftly to Physics, it was only when I reached the door of the class room, that I remembered.

Edward.

He was in the class, the moment I walked in he would access my thoughts, see Bella's memories, find out the truth.

"Angela, I, I feel slightly sick." I said, thinking fast, stopping her, desperately hoping my acting skills were up to scratch. They worked, Angela immediately looked concerned, she sat me down as I swayed slightly, trying to look paler than usual.

"Ok, ok, ok… I knew you looked peaky!" She said quickly, hurriedly talking. "Do you want me to take you to the nurse, I think you should go home, you _did _nearly get run over yesterday."

The nurse: NO!

"No, it's ok, I just need to go to the bathroom," I said weakly, standing up, "please, could you tell Mr Banner I'm feeling sick, I don't think I can concentrate on Physics in this state."

"Well, if your sure, but if you feel any worse, be sure to go home!" she called, I walked towards the nearest bathroom, as Angela went into Physics.

I'd just about evaded Edward. But it had been close, too close, I walked into the grimy toilets and sat on a stool, thinking. It was all getting risky, I mentally checked the lessons we had today, History, Physics, Ethics, Gym, Maths. Only the last was a problem, the rest were fine, well no- they were all pointless subjects compared to my problems, but still, at least Edward would not be in those classes. Maths. How could I go to that? I could not go home, not evade him forever. I would just have to keep my thoughts locked up, I would not let him see. That was crucial.

***

It was lunch now. I'd miraculously recovered to return to Ethics class and explained again and again that I was ok to people, assuring them, it was just a coincidence that I felt sick, the day after fainting. I'd managed to avoid Edward, but again, it had been close, he had walked out of a music class after Ethics, causing me to practically sprint into an empty classroom, hoping he hadn't seen.

The cafeteria was my next problem. I had to attend to lunch, I couldn't let more people think I was sick, this was getting ridiculous. A pang twisted in my stomach, I could feel the Cullen's presence, I didn't look at them, afraid when I saw them, my thoughts would spill out.

For the first time since I'd moved to Forks, I actually listened to Jessica Stanley.

She was the perfect distraction, filling my head up with her trivial dramas, babbling on about Lauren's crush on Mike, I couldn't help but hear her evident affection for him too.

"So, Mike asked you to be his partner in Basketball." she said loftily. I would have to tread carefully, Jessica seemed prone to overreaction, I was sure If I said too much, she would exaggerate the story massively.

"Yes." I said carefully.

"And… what was it like?!"

"Um, we played basketball, Lauren nearly hit me in the face and-well that was about it." I stated. Angela giggling slightly beside me.

"Yes, but what about Mike…do you like him?" she said impatiently.

"Um, sure, he's nice." I said, unsure of what she meant.

"Oooohhh!" crooned Jessica, "Someone likes Mikey!" Umm. Really no..

"Uh, No I don't, not like that-" I spluttered, hoping that Jessica wouldn't notice the blush rising to my cheeks, it was not due to the mention of Mike Newton, just my embarrassment.

But Angela saved me.

"Honestly Jessica, just because you fancy him, doesn't mean Lucie does, can't you see she's not interested?" At this comment Jessica turned to glare at Angela.

"Shut up Angela, we all know how much you love Ben!" She spat. Uh oh…

Angela had turned red, I felt immense sympathy for her, Jessica really could be one nasty piece of work. But before I could defend Angela, Jessica stood up and angrily flounced off across the cafeteria, I saw her lips move as she started talking to Lauren, who shot glares across the table at me, as she heard the gossip. Great.

"Angela, you ok? Thanks, for standing up for me." I said tentatively, Angela was staring down at her fork.

"Oh-what- oh yeah, don't worry I'm fine, I couldn't let Jessica talk to you like that, she's always spreading rumours…" Angela trailed off slightly.

"I know, but thanks, and don't worry about Ben, haven't you noticed the way he looks at you?" I wasn't lying, Ben had always looked at Angela with admiration, I had seen it both threw Angela's memories and my own.

"What? Ben looks at me?" she flushed.

"Yeah, a lot.." I said smiling, Angela smiled back, happy to reveal her hidden thoughts. The lunch bell rang and we walked briskly to Gym, which was really going to be a torturous subject. And a very long one. I was surprised, I realised, when getting changed, that I hadn't thought about Edward once, maybe Maths really was going to be ok.

Gym was, like I predicted: purgatory.

It was combined of Jessica and Lauren teaming up on Angela and me, only to be stopped by an enthusiastic Mike and thoughtful Ben, causing both malice and jealously to rise in both Jessica's and Lauren's eyes.

Like I said. It really was long, I thought it would never end.

But it did, and then I remembered Edward, and I felt nervous and uneasy, terrified my thoughts would betray me.

The walk to Maths was long. Well, no it wasn't, it just felt long due to my new profound sense of impending doom. I didn't know what to do, I just prayed I could keep my thoughts at bay, for Edward's sake.

I walked into the room. Looked at the pealing wall paper, averted my eyes to the grey carpet. Did everything, _anything _to keep Edward off my mind. I sat down, pulled my books out. The starter work was put up, I worked concentrating on the equations, never in my life have I worked so hard at Maths. But this was bad, I finished early, but I was ok, concentrating on the mindless chatter around the room. I was doing fine.

Then, he spoke.

"Hello Lucie." a simple sentence. Two words. Two words that snapped my control, that melodic voice, the piercing music, penetrated my thoughts. I could not concentrate on anything but, _him._

I turned without meaning to, my gaze fixed upon his eyes, searching for the gold.

"H-hello." I stuttered, my voice low. I was lost. Lost in his gaze, in the intensity of his features, all perfect. But something was wrong. He was not smiling, instead his expression was pained. I looked into his eyes, gold, burning, yet not black; so he was not thirsty, not craving for my blood.

I mentally slapped myself.

I'd just thought about vampires, right in front of him. But his expression didn't waver- his eyes stayed locked on mine. I saw emotion though. Irritation was there and mingled, with-like I said. Pain.

"Lucie, can I ask you something."

Anything.

"Yes, of course, go ahead." my voice was still quiet, yet he could hear me as clear as crystal.

"Why…why have you been avoiding me?" the pain, again seeped through his words, his beautiful musical words…

What?

Wait.

How, did he know? Yes, I'd been avoiding him, but how did he realise? He was more perceptive than I'd thought.

"Oh, you noticed…" I said, glad at least that his pain was only trivial, I don't think I could have bared his pain to be intensified.

"You haven't answered my question." he stated. One eyebrow perfectly arched, (despite everything, I felt annoyed that _he _of all people could do that…) but his question? How could I, without revealing all.

Bella's past flew across my mind. I looked at Edward's face closer, searching for any sign of recognition, if he had read my thoughts, surely he would be dieing inside, his Bella, in love with another…

But again, his expression stayed the same, his eyes _still _staring at my own. I couldn't answer his question, so I asked one of my own.

"Edward?" the worry in my voice made his face change, into sympathy, "please, could you answer one of mine first?" I tried as hard as I could, breathing out the word please, willing him to accept.

"Fine, but only if you promise to answer mine."

"I promise" I whispered. He hadn't said anything about telling the truth…

"Right, so Lucie, what is it you want to ask?" his voice sidetracked me, I was lost once more…

No. Concentrate.

"Edward, tell me, am I hard to read?" It was the only thing I could ask, it would give tonnes away, but it was the only way I could be sure. Shock crossed his features at this, he stared at me, and I hope he didn't see too much. His reply was so unexpectant, so passionate, that I was rendered completely and utterly speechless.

"Very." he breathed, and he almost looked ashamed, as if this upset him, not being able to read me, not being able to access my thoughts.

On the outside, I stayed the same, my expression still shocked by his answer.

On the inside, I was screaming my delight.

Edward couldn't read my mind, or at least, he found it very difficult in doing so.

Bella's secret was safe.

I didn't have to stay away from him.

"Lucie," he said, interrupting my trail of thought, "I believe you owe me: one answer?"

Ah.

"Yes," I mumbled, "I'm sorry Edward, it's just, well- remember yesterday?"

"Yes."

"You saved me?"

"In theory, I suppose. Yes." In _theory_? You mean in reality…

"Well, the truth is, I was scared you hated me." Lie.

"What?" said Edward, puzzlement crossing his features.

"Well, look at it from my perspective, I wake up, in Alice's arms, You've disappeared, Alice tells me that you saved me: I could only assume you weren't with them because of me…" I was making no sense, but I couldn't think straight he was _still_ staring at me, did he ever stop?

But then the worst emotion crossed his features.

Anger. He looked at me with resentment, his irritation seeping through his voice as he addressed me, a new cold fury in his eyes.

"I don't appreciate being lied to. Lucie." his voice was deadly silent, his anger unmistakable, he stood up and stormed out the class, hitching his bag onto his shoulder and slamming the door behind him.

Everyone turned to look at me.

The bell went, I sprung up ran out of the class.

Tears were welling up in my eyes, but I held them back, crying: a weakness. I thought about what he'd just said. His voice still penetrating my thoughts: _"I don't appreciate being lied to. Lucie." _

True, it had all been a lie.

But could he handle the truth?

I ran towards my car, the tears overtook me. I sat there on the front seat, water flowing down past my cheeks, drenching my shirt, proving how weak I was, how pathetic. Edward hated me. Hated me because I had told him a lie. He would never forgive me if he found out about my gift. I had to lie. I'd lied to him. To everyone I'd ever known.

Because lying was the only thing that kept them safe.

***

I hadn't realised that time was still passing. Looked out across the parking lot, my old car was secluded from the rest, thankfully, no-one had noticed me.

It was nearly deserted now.

Apart from one car.

One darn significant car.

The shiny Volvo. It was there across the car park, with no-one inside it. I slid deeper down into my seat, terrified of being caught, of being seen. I saw them, walking casually across the pavement, towards the car. Edward and Bella. The fury was subdued now in Edward's gaze, but Bella's like yesterdays was odd. Troubled.

I couldn't drive out, in case they saw me. I couldn't even _move _in case they saw me. So, I did the next best thing possible.

I gently slid down the window. I could hear them. Edward was talking to Bella and his face had now lost the fury, instead the irritation was there again, plain through his features.

"So, have you found out about her yet?" Asked Bella, and was it just my imagination-or did she say it coldly? Edward's eyes found hers and he sighed, defeat echoing from within him, mingled with frustration.

"No, I don't understand it, she's not like you love, different, hazy, unclear, a mystery…" Edward trailed off. And suddenly my heart skipped a beat in realisation.

Where they talking about me?

"Oh, please Edward!" Bella scoffed, "Mysterious?" she said sardonically. Again my anger towards her flared. How dare she speak to him like that! How-but I stopped thinking, Edward spoke.

"Yes, mysterious, her mind is not impenetrable, just…" he trailed off, ever calm, was he oblivious to Bella's harsh words?

But of course; he loved her.

"Senseless?" muttered Bella, the cold edge to her words, still sharp on her tongue.

"Shadowy." corrected Edward, then he turned to her, seemingly to snap out of his reverie and cupped her face in his hands. "What's wrong?" he breathed, so quietly. Yet I could still hear, I don't think I could ever _not _hear his voice. Bella looked up, her chocolate brown eyes deep and thoughtful, brimming with secrets, secrets that I knew all about…

"It's just…" she trailed off, blushing furiously.

"Just?" prompted Edward, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"You, well, you seem to…like her." she said, hiding her face against his chest. At this point I really could have slapped the girl, not because of what she said, but because of Edward's response to it.

He laughed.

And pain hit me, like a bullet, hard in my chest.

"Please Bella, you know I only love, will always love: you." he said stroking her hair. Bella stepped out of his embrace and looked at him, smiled and then added.

"She's a blonde I guess, makes sense." with that she pulled him into the car and they drove off, but not before I saw the flash of incredulity and hurt form across Edward's face.

As soon as he had gone. I let out a long detached breath, I'd been holding for the past two minutes. I dimly noticed I was shaking _again_, but none of this mattered. Nothing mattered any more. All could have imploded around me, and at this moment, I knew I would not have noticed it. I was so engrossed in thought, so deeply immersed in sadness that I didn't hear the tap on the glass.

I looked around, my eyes thankfully, had dried from the tears shed earlier, letting me see clearly who was outside my car window.

It was Alice, her face was filled with urgency.

I opened the car door and she practically hurled me out of it.

"Alice?" I asked, my voice stiff.

She looked at me, her eyes wide and then grabbed my arm, pulling me towards her. She was alone, I noticed, where was Jasper?

"Let me see your face!" she snapped, but it wasn't mean, I could here the concern and worry in her musical voice.

"Alice, I- I don't understand wha-" she was brushing the hair out of my face now, her cold hands on either side of my face, examining it.

"Oh…" was all she said. Her expression was confused now, her small face frowning, as she scrutinised me.

"Alice, are you ok? What do mean my face? What's wrong?"

"I, I… don't know." admitted Alice, stepping back from me. "Lucie, I'm sorry, I thought I saw- I heard someone say you were hurt…" she slipped. That was why she had come running at me. That was why she had looked so worried.

She'd had a vision. Of me, hurt.

I was about to ask her when she had it, what had happened in it, when I remembered. She couldn't know I knew, I had to keep it a secret. But couldn't I tell Alice, she would not tell anyone; I knew that. Alice was lovely, loyal and kind. But I couldn't tell her. Edward would find out, he would read Alice's mind. Then they would flee, and I would be left, once again, on my own.

I was still standing there, in the car park, I remembered to speak to Alice again, I had to escape, I was about to break I could feel it, my voice trembled slightly; I could only pray that it would stay undetected.

"Alice, I've got to go- my dad will want his dinner." I said hurriedly, jumping into my car once more. I couldn't stay with her, even bare to look at her beautiful face. I heard her say goodbye, but didn't reply. All I could remember was one thing. Bella asking if Edward liked me.

Edward, laughing.

The knot in my stomach opened up, leaving a gaping mass of nothing. I had seen Bella's memories, I knew what it was like for Edward to leave her. Bella had felt dreadful when he was gone. I had experienced it, felt every stab of pain when his name was said, every cry that had shaken her.

What Bella had felt had been horrid.

But it was nothing compared to this.

Edward, laughing…

As I sped along the road my tears fell and this time I did not stop them. I let them fall, let them soak my shirt, blur my vision no-one could see me. Edward Cullen hated me. Nothing else mattered. In less than a minute the world had turned dark.

I needed some space the breath, to think.

I was at the house now, my father was standing by the front door waiting for me. His eyes anxious, filled; like Alice's with concern.

"Lucie," he called, as I walked up to him. "Lucie, you ok honey? Someone just told me you fainted yesterday! You've got some hell of a lot of explaining to do missy!"

I couldn't reply, I just ran past him, tripped up the stairs and into my room.

I wasn't in the mood for explaining.

I wasn't in the mood for anything at all.

Edward's laughter continued to echo in my ears, sending me over the edge.

How much more of this, could I stand?

**Did that answer any questions? Do you have any questions? (I'll reply to any question-I promise!)**

**Ok, please review, I'm lacking inspiration at the moment, any tips, all are welcomed!**

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**Lily- who may turn terminally ill if reviews don't arrive to save her.**


	7. The Inspirational Snow

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**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT! (nor do I own the 'Tardis' off Doctor Who.) -Life's so unfair...**

**~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~  
****What happened last chapter:**

I was at the house now, my father was standing by the front door waiting for me. His eyes anxious, filled; like Alice's with concern.

"Lucie," he called, as I walked up to him. "Lucie, you ok honey? Someone just told me you fainted yesterday! You've got some explaining to do missy!"

I couldn't reply, I just ran past him, tripped up the stairs and into my room.

I wasn't in the mood for explaining.

I wasn't in the mood for anything at all.

Edward's laughter continued to echo in my ears, sending me over the edge.

How much more of this, could I stand?

**The Inspirational Snow**

Distantly, I realised it must be morning. Birds were singing outside my window, I could feel the heat of the sun, red against my eyelids. I was not comfortable, nor uncomfortable, I felt nothing. All was pointless.

Yet, nevertheless, I still stood up. Let the water flow down me in the shower. Grabbed a pair of clean clothes, not bothering to see what they were. Why? Because nothing mattered. I remembered the incident with my father last night, and let out a sigh, the first noise I'd made all morning.

Despite everything, as I walked down the stairs, I couldn't help the familiar feeling that washed over me, for being so rude to my caring father. Guilt.

It was still early, so I made him an extra special breakfast before eating my own. I still felt weak though, so I knew if he confronted me for long enough I might break, I couldn't let that happen front of him. I grabbed a pen off the table, and wrote a note next to his fried eggs on toast, hoping to cheer him up a bit.

_I__'__m sorry dad, last night I was really upset, I__'__ve just had a rough day. But I__'__m ok, I promise, I think I was just a little shaken with what happened, please don__'__t take it to heart. I don__'__t want to talk about it. I love you see you later, Lucie xxx_

It was all I could manage, I called his name; so his breakfast wouldn't go cold and dashed outside.

It was raining, but surprisingly, as the rain heavily poured down me, I found it was oddly comforting. The rain, so free, so unpredictable, so pure. All the things I was not. I was still standing there, my head facing the sky, before I heard my father's voice, and dashed into the car, quickly escaping from his questions.

Whilst I was driving, I remembered something, that almost made me crash with shock, the previous days events swirled in my mind.

Alice's vision.

She had seen me: hurt, no doubt, why else would she be looking at my face? Checking for signs of damage. What else could have caused the concern I had seen in her tawny eyes, why else would she have pulled me out the car? Yes, I knew Alice had seen the future; involving me, getting harmed, I didn't take a genius to work out that much.

But why had she been wrong? Why had I remained unharmed and whole, why was I not hurt? I tried replaying the scene before in my head, ignoring the pain that twisted inside me as I thought of Edward. What else could have happened? I suppose, I could've been caught, but what difference would that make, aside from my immense mortification. I distantly remembered Bella's sentence; _"__She__'__s a blonde I guess, makes sense.__" _I knew what she meant by this, Edward preferred brunettes, but I couldn't help thinking that Bella wasn't referring to my hair colour.

I trudged up to the school and saw my reflection, surprised I could still look so normal when inside I was being hurt repeatedly, stabbed each time I thought about Edward, only leaving a hollow sensation. My blonde hair, a light gold, looked neat and brushed, my clothes were simple, but my eyes, they gave everything away.

They were greener than usual, I noticed, with black rings rimming them, proving my lack of sleep, along with the dark shadows under my eyes, too many signs, giving me away. My skin was still white, pallid; not beautiful like the Cullen's, just pale, uninteresting I looked unhealthy, the Cullens looked the opposite.

I was too busy thinking, mulling over my shameful apperance to notice where I was walking.

I stepped into a puddle, I felt my socks suck up the muddy water. My shoes were now a muddy brown colour, and intresting colour seeing as they used to be a faded white. I just sighed, and looked down at my two annoying feet, my eyelashes brushing the tops of my cheeks as I did so.

"Lucie?" It was Alice, I knew immediately, I turned to face her.

"Yeah Alice?" What was wrong, had she had a vision? I searched her bright golden eyes, so different from her normal tawny-she must have hunted. But, to my surprise, she was smiling, and no worry lay un-hidden in the two suns acting as her eyes.

Then, she looked down at my feet, and gasped in mock horror.

"Lucie, your shoes! They're ruined!" she exclaimed, looking at me with immense sadness, as if someone had just died.

I suppressed a laugh.

"That's ok Alice, they were nothing special." I said, making to walk away towards the front doors. But Alice stopped me, with one quick, lithe bound, she was blocking my way.

"Lucie, you _cannot _go to school in those shoes!" she said. At this, my chuckle just slipped out, ah dear me , Alice really was quite funny.

But she was serious. She started dragging me, back towards the car, which was a bright yellow Porsche, and flipped open the boot. I stared in wonder inside, the car looked so _small, _so how come the boot was massive! Maybe… it was like the Tardis?

Alice started rummaging around, with me still staring, well gaping would be a better word, at the car, I don't know why I was so surprised, after all, I already knew Alice had it, but Bella's memories simply did not do justice, to its sheer size.

Alice let out a little squeak of delight and turned to face me.

"Here!" she trilled, pushing a blue box into my startled hands. "It's just a little present from me and Jazz, open it then!" I opened it, and found a pair of pale blue shoes, that looked _very _expensive. To be perfectly honest, I didn't care whatsoever about what was on my feet (I would have happily lived with my now, wet shoes) but, I knew Alice, and I did not disappoint.

"Alice, you shouldn't have! These are lovely! How did you know I would need shoes!" I exclaimed, knowing the answer.

Alice's acting skills were far better than my own.

"I didn't, me and Jazz were shopping, I saw these, and just thought of you!" she said, beaming at her success. "I just guessed your shoe size though, we can change them if they don't fit." she said, the worry returning into the last sentence, I smiled at Alice, her voice implied that the world might implode if a pair of small blue shoes didn't fit.

I sat down on the boot, slipped off my beloved old, wet shoes, and put on the pair of new ones. They were startlingly comfy.

"Alice," I crooned, actually quite pleased, not because of the shoes, but out of Alice's kindness. Who'd of thought, pixies were shoe experts? "These are _perfect_…"

I empathised the last word, happy that Alice seemed so pleased, she beamed once more and pulled me up towards the school. Once we were inside, Alice gave me a quick hug, then darted off to find Jasper. Leaving me, alone.

I walked towards a familiar group of girls. My heart sank, when I realised Angela wasn't with them. Too late to turn back now…

Lauren saw me, her face lit up in malice and she stopped talking to a Jessica-look-alike, and turned to address me.

"Well, if it isn't Miss pathetic!" she said, the shrieking giggles erupting behind her.

"Excuse me?" I said coldly, I didn't want to deal with this today, not again.

"You heard me, _pathetic_, I mean c'mon fainting, please? Oh help me, save me, I've fainted, help me!" she mimicked my voice, I wanted to run, why did everyone seem to hate me, I heard more jeering, more laughter. How much more torment did they intend to give me, could they not see how much I was already hurting, how I was slowly getting torn. The reason why I couldn't reply was simply because: Lauren was right, I was pathetic.

They were advancing around me now, in a pincer like movement, all of their faces jeering, Lauren's turned up in a delighted snarl.

"Just because you want attention, you ugly, pathetic little-" but she was interrupted, mid sentence by a sound that made every thing else seem hideous.

"What?" Said the cool melodic voice behind my shoulder, destroying all else in its path. Stopping my heart.

Lauren's face snapped up, as she stared at Edward Cullen, her expression torn between longing and fear. She spluttered for a few seconds, but then gave up. The giggling behind her had now ceased, all was silent.

"That's what I thought." Said Edward, I turned to face him, in spite of myself, who could resist that voice; smooth as velvet, soft as silk, musical, perfect…

"Lauren, in future I would advise looking in the mirror, long before you consider others as ugly." Stated Edward, Lauren's face turned a shade of burgundy, he carried on. "Lucie, do you want to walk to Trigonometry with me?" I just nodded, his voice, so seamless, had I miss-heard? Was he actually offering to _walk _with me?

We started walking, but not before I saw Lauren snarl at me. Ok, there was no denying that she hated me _now_.

"Thank you." I breathed, it was the first word I'd spoken, he was looking straight ahead when he replied.

"No problem, I'm sorry, erm-" He trailed off, turning to face me.

And once again, I was lost.

His eyes, a brilliant gold, were brighter then I'd ever seen them; they illuminated his whole face, empathising his angular cheek bones, the smoothness of his skin, the colour of his rain flecked hair. I couldn't help but stare, I was doing all I could not to gawp, or for that matter, to drool. OK, admittidly i would never drool over Edward, I might be many things, but I wasn't some sort of dog.

"Your sorry?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah, well, you see, I don't think Lauren's going to like you anymore…" He said, innocently, waiting for my reply.

"You think she liked me to begin with?" I asked, smiling shyly. We walked round a corner, how he managed to walk and still stare at me baffled me. But, ah yeah, I forgot, vampire senses. Darn they seem to be useful!

"Good point." He said thoughtfully, "Do you mind telling me why she was about to name you a female dog?" He asked, raising one eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corners of his perfect lips.

"Hmm," I thought for a second, it was hard talking with him, no, not hard; it was as easy, as essential as breathing. It was just so damn easy to get distracted, lost. "It was probably because Mike Newton went with me in basket ball," his face changed minimally, was it annoyance that had just passed across his face? "but then again, it could have been due to jealously, I mean I was saved by _you_." He looked back at me again, smiling.

"Yes, I agree with the jealously bit, but not because of me saving you…" He said, I wanted to reply, but we had just reached the classroom. "Ladies first." He gestured, with a sweep of his arm.

I walked into the room, Mr Varner was writing out equations sluggishly, and I walked to the back of the class taking my usual seat, Edward following closely behind me. I mentally shouted at my heart to shut up. It was beating unnaturally fast. As I as down, I began the usual routine of skimming through the questions, feeling Edward's gaze on me as I worked.

"Finished?" he asked politely, just above a whisper, as I wrote the 25th answer in my book.

"But of course." I said, smiling at him. Then I remembered, Edward's anger, me lying to him, him laughing. I couldn't stop my face falling, the hole in my stomach opened again, I was doing all I could not to cry.

And of course, being Edward, the amazing vampire, noticed all of this, and his face changed instantly, portraying worry, deep within golden eyes. I tried to smile but failed, instead hiding behind my blonde hair.

"Lucie?" he asked, his voice apprehensive, but still mingled slightly with the faintest amount of irritation; I knew he wanted to read my mind. "What's wrong?" I looked up, and the moment I saw hurt in in his face, I confessed instantly, desperate to make him happy.

"I-I thought, you, h-hated me.." I said, stuttering slightly, scared of his reaction, would he storm out like yesterday, claiming I was lying… But he didn't, he sat there calmly and said, with so much dignity, there was no denying if it was true or false.

"I do not hate you, Luciana." He said, and of course I believed him.

"Lucie." I corrected him weakly.

"Lucie, I'm sorry- I never meant to snap like that yesterday, I just had a lot on my mind." curiosity gripped me. What was on his mind? What had happened yesterday? What had I missed?

"Edward, I'm so sorry." I said, I had to confess, to prove my sadness, I felt so rotten with him apologising, when it was me who was lying. Guilt plagued me once more.

"Sorry? For what?" He said, though lower this time, are conversation had risen slightly and we were getting stared at by a few people. Thankfully, Lauren was evidently too thick to be in this group.

I had to tell him the truth, after all he had, I could only hope he didn't think to much of my reply, it was crucial I didn't give too much away. But I had to be truthful, lies had only caused despair, the truth couldn't be any worse. Or could it? I whispered to him, so quietly no-one else would hear. Praying that he wouldn't understand, that he wouldn't know.

"Yes, I'm sorry Edward, sorry about lying to you. If you want to know the truth here it is. I was afraid Edward, afraid I was easy to read." It was the only way I could portray the truth, I looked down at my work, my hair falling in front of my face, obscuring my vision of him, but not before I saw his expression, switch a dozen times.

From shock; to suspicion; to worry; to recognition; to appreciation. I didn't see the rest, terrified that anger would flare out at me, proving my insignificance. But Edward didn't reply, instead he lightly brushed back a waterfall of blonde hair, brushing my skin with his miracle cool touch. Making a blush rise to the pale surface.

"Thank you." He whispered, quoting my earlier statement, looking at my eyes, before saying, "You shouldn't have had to apologise Lucie, It was I who was irrational, you only did what was best."

"But I lied…" I whispered, where was the anger? Was it growing? Mounting each time my timid voice spoke, ready to explode out of him, ready to stop my deceitful tongue.

"And I shouldn't have asked, it was none of my business." He stated. Mr Varner came over then, and I pretended to check question 25, even though I knew the answer was correct. He stooped over my work, gave a short curt nod, didn't bother on checking Edward's and walked back to the board, writing some additional questions down. I heard a groan pass round the class, at the prospect of more work. Honestly, It really was easy.

I finished the next set quickly and turned, only to find once more, Edward staring at me.

"What?" I whispered. Confused by his expression; he looked as if he was deciding something.

"Lucie, do realise that your eyes, are different…" He said, I knew what he must have meant, yes they were an ugly shade of Hazel, ever changing from green to brown, never making their mind up on which colour to be. He didn't like my eyes. But who did? Certainly not myself.

"Yes." I said, again, my over sensitive emotions accessed far too easily through my 'different' eyes, showing my hurt at being classified as different. I always knew I was a freak.

Edward understood instantly, and hastened to reply.

"No, not like that, their lovely," Had he just said my eyes were _lovely_? "I mean, did you realise they change from green to brown sometimes?" Come to think of it, he was right, had I not seen my eyes this morning, green, from my remorse and anger? I knew they were not green now, the moment I was happy, they would turn, more hazel, more brown. I'd never thought about it before, how had he noticed it?

"Like yours then." The words slipped out. I didn't even realise I'd said them out loud, until a dark look passed across his face. Why was I so _stupid_. His eyes changed colour from him drinking blood, from him being a vampire.

"Yes, like mine." He said, trying to cover the dark side to his words, the self loathing that being a vampire made you feel. I was so tactless sometimes. I knew the bell was going to ring soon, that was good, I needed to get away, before anymore of my thought were revealed to him. My eyes, gave too much away.

"Edward, thank you for earlier, with Lauren." I said, truly grateful, desperate to leave on a happy note.

"Like I said; no problem." He said, smiling at me, making him look beautiful, yet the smile did not reach his golden eyes, they remained remote. What had I done? I tried to smile back, but I knew mine was just as ineffective, the bell went, the sound was distant to me.

We both walked out the class room, silently and walked off, not bothering to say goodbye. I sighed to my self when I was sure he couldn't hear. The rest of the day was going to pass. I told myself, on one hand: Edward didn't hate me, that had to be an improvement. But on the other, he knew more about me, too much, he was getting closer to the truth, that I could never let him see.

So. Now I just have a day at school to get through.

I saw Angela then and we walked to our next class, I couldn't concentrate at all, I worked, I answered questions, I smiled at people. But I didn't know how I was doing it. Making words come out of your mouth and nodding your head at regular intervals isn't the same as talking and listening, but it was as close as I could get. Before I knew it was possible, it was already lunch, and , for the first time since I'd left Trig that morning, I actually awoke.

The cafeteria was the same as ever. People talking, eating and- in Jessica's and Lauren's case, no doubt furiously gossiping.

I walked over to mine and Angela's usual spot sat down. Angela had gone to do some extra revision in the library for her calculus test, I didn't exactly struggle with the subject, so merely proceed to the cafeteria. Alone and simply reviewed the day, it had not been that bad, for one thing I did have a new pair of comfy shoes, so that made me happy.

I looked outside the window and my heart felt lifted, just a tiny amount. Beautiful snow was falling delicately down, lifting in quick, lithe ribbons, so pure and clean, I knew it would not settle, the rain before had proved that much, but still it was lovely. I would enjoy it while it lasted. I remembered a memory from my childhood of when I was six, and for the first time in two horrid miserable years, the memory of my mother made me smile.

_I was only six, watching the snow with my mother in the garden, the first time I'd ever seen it. My mother was singing, her musical voice comforting and loving, filling me with delight as I dashed in the snow, hiding amongst the white flecked bushes. The beautiful white, blanketing our once green lawn._

_Snow is falling, A beautiful sight,_

_It plays with the light._

_Snow is falling, It blinds all who see,_

_It hides you from me._

_Our laughter rose together as we sung together, perfectly in sync._

"Exquisite, isn't it?" A voice snapped me out of my reverie, I didn't even have time to recognise the voice, I turned to face them.

It was Alice, snow still white in her pixie hair, beaming at me. I looked at the Cullen's table, only Edward and Bella were there, the rest I presumed, where outside, enjoying the snow. But of course, Bella didn't like the wet or the cold, hmm…the wet I could understand, even though I held no such objection, and but the cold? She was with a vampire… One hell of a perfect vampire. But I stopped thinking about them, and brought my concentration back to reality, why had Alice came over to talk to me?

"Beautiful." I agreed, still wondering what she was about to do.

"Lucie…?" she trilled, and I could here the excitement mounting in her voice. I decided, right there and then, what ever she asked, I would do. She simply was the kindest pixie like vampire I'd ever met. Ok, well, yeah, the only pixie like vampire I'd ever met… "Lucie," she continued, practically bobbing up and down. Abruptly, I felt silly sitting and stood up. "Can we go shopping this weekend please!" she blurted out.

Why, oh why did I mentally promise?

"Yeah, of course Alice, It'll be great!" I said, feigning enthusiasm. At this Alice's whole face lit up, she continued to chatter quickly.

"Yay! Thanks, It's going to be great I can tell- I have a feeling, it's going to be perfect!" She said, slipping up slightly again, honestly, how did people not notice Alice's slip ups, they always fell out of her mouth when she got excited. I just smiled as she danced off back towards the snow, having seen an excited looking Jasper at the window. "Bye Lucie!" she trilled, dancing off, despite the dreaded thought of shopping with Alice, (here, I really did feel immense sympathy, for Bella, acting as a dress up doll,) I couldn't help smiling at her happiness.

All too soon, lunch was over.

I picked up my bag, swung it onto my shoulder and progressed towards History, where I dimly thought how talkative Eric was going to be. When I heard my name being called. I turned and saw the last person I would have suspected to see.

Isabella Swan.

"Lucie," She said, and her voice was thick with emotion, I saw a single tear running down her cheek. "Lucie, I need to talk to you."

**THANK TO YOU REVIEWERS OUT THERE!**

**Did you like it, you know the drill by now- review!**

**The snow is falling! I'm so excited, if it settles and I have tomorrow of school, then chapter 8 should be coming your way!**

**I was feeling a bit sad yesterday, but now I'm ecstatic!**

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**Lily- who is HAPPY!**


	8. The Distraction Called Alice

**THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAVE REVIEWED- you don't rock your RULE!- but you can rock as well, if that makes you happy. :p**

**You cannot imagine my happiness when I saw 56 reviews…! WOW**

**I am slightly cross, well that's an understatement. I am fuming about having to go to school, when it is SNOWING. My head teacher actually said this-I know it's shocking: "despite the bad weather, school shall continue, therefore not diminishing your learning." ****Number 1: since when is snow, BAD weather (it's amazing!) and: Number 2: who cares about learning, do you not realise it is SNOWING! ****(ok, I apologise about that rant, I had to get it all out…)**

**Disclaimer: for some obscure reason I STILL do not own Twilight, or the amazing Tardis off Doctor Who…**

**Me: *jumps into Tardis, pushes a few buttons and zooms-back in time! Start's writing a book called Twilight, get's it published, and becomes rich.***

**Stephenie Meyer: Give me back my rightful ownership of Twilight!**

**Me: Never, you cannot have it, it's MINE!**

**Doctor who: *appears, looking very cross* **

**Me: Doctor!**

**Doctor Who: Lily, give me back the Tardis, now!**

**Stephenie Meyer: Ugh, she stole from you too?**

**Doctor Who: Yup…**

**Me: Mwhahahha! *tries to escape into Tardis***

**Doctor who: *points, Lily sees a very evil looking dalek***

**Dalek: EXTERMINATE!**

**Me: Oh crud!**

* * *

**What happened Last chapter:**

All too soon, lunch was over.

I picked up my bag, swung it onto my shoulder and progressed towards history, where I dimly though how talkative Eric was going to be. When I heard my name being called. I turned and saw the last person I would have suspected to see.

Isabella Swan.

"Lucie," She said, and her voice was thick with emotion. "Lucie, I need to talk to you."

**The Distraction Called Alice**

I just stared, I couldn't respond at first, my head must be imagining things, I shook it slightly, but sure enough there Bella stood, pale and upset. What had happened? Was it Edward, and more importantly, why was she need to talk to me? Didn't she hate me? My head was whirring, but it occurred to me that I hadn't replied, and so I said the first word that came into my head.

"Bella?" I asked, my voice just as hesitant.

"Lucie, please." Please? What was happening? What should I do? Bella didn't look like she was in the right state to say anything more, and so I walked up to her, conscientious of the people walking by. I made a decision, I took her small hand, noticing the scar that James had caused her- a tiny crescent moon, paler than the rest of her skin, then pulled her towards the nearest empty classroom, or bathroom.

A class room arrived first, I checked to see no teachers where lurking about, marking in it, before opening the door, turning on the light and talking Bella inside, History it appeared, was going to have to wait. Once the chatter from outside had ceased- with all the pupils in their classes, I turned to Bella, who was looking at her feet.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked.

She looked up from her long eye lashes, her eyes liquid chocolate. I was sure she was about to confess her feelings towards Jacob, ask for my advice maybe, I would help her, I felt ashamed for ever thinking she was unkind. She looked so fragile and scared, so alone and vulnerable, maybe me and Bella really could be friends, she would tell me her secret. Then I could finally share mine. The one I had kept locked up for so long, I could join her, become… but I stopped thinking about that, I had to concentrate on Bella, she needed me.

So when she said her next to words, you can imagine my shock and self loathing.

"It's you." She stated. Her eyes still staring at me, mixed with both worry and pain. But of course it was me. Of course it was I who had caused Bella to look so upset, caused Edward to get angry, caused Jasper to be in pain. It was always my fault. How stupid I was to even think that Bella would want me as her friend. Who liked a freak like me?

"I don't know what you mean." I said, lying.

"Don't you?" she said, her voice trembling. "Lucie, your trying to take Edward away from me." And that's all It took, one small sentence from Bella made me realise the truth. Bella had never been selfish, only protective, protective of the things she cared about. It was I who was the selfish one. I was the only one coveting Edward. I was the only one who was sinful. And because of this, I would have to stop. Edward belonged to Bella, just as much as Bella belonged to Edward, I had no reason to interfere.

"Bella, I will not take Edward from you." I said, surprised at how firm my words sounded, how I didn't falter when saying the thing I wanted to do most. No. I had to stop thinking like this.

"Won't you, because that's all your doing at the moment Lucie, your following him, sitting with him, _stalking_ him," her words hurt, like repeatedly getting stabbed in the back, but I endured this, after all, It was no less than I deserved. "Getting close to Alice, just so you can be near him, I can see your plans Lucie, but you have no idea who Edward really is, no idea at all." How wrong she was, I knew all about Edward, everything there was to know. She threw the words at me, crossly, spite mixed in by her evident dislike towards me.

Had her sadness before all been an act, an act in which to make me feel sorry for her? Again, my resentment towards Bella, threatened to rise to the surface, breaking my calm. But it didn't, I just replied to her steadily, hurt by all her statements, but making sure one was put straight.

"I am not getting close to Alice, to get near Edward. I happen to like Alice very much, we're going shopping if you want any proof." again, my voice was calm, a scary clam; one that was sure to break if put under pressure. Bella just stared at me, her eyes filled with antipathy, I couldn't blame her though, all apart from what she'd said about Alice, she had been correct, I was like a stalker. Wanting his voice; his presence, Bella was the only person who had her eyes open and who saw me for what I truly was.

"Lucie, I don't want to hate you." Bella said, looking at me her hair falling down each side of her face.

"Then don't, I don't hate you." I said, knowing my calm state was a fragile at glass now; ready to shatter.

"You have to stay away from Edward." she said, did she not know I'd already _tried _that, and where had that led me, oh yeah in a whole load of mess. What If I told her I knew about Jake? How would she react, would she beg me to keep it a secret? Deny it? Interrogate me to how I had known? I knew she would do the last, she was smart; smarter than I gave her credit for. She would interrogate, find out my secret and convince her family to run.

Leaving me. Alone.

I was far too close to shattering, I now felt like a sheet ice, thin as paper and I was afraid that this time, the pieces would not reform. I had to get out of the room, I couldn't stand to look at Bella anymore. I ran to the door, tripping as I went, the tears threatening to pull me under; to where re-surfacing would be impossible. I took one last look at the girl who had everything and knew nothing, I just whispered my reply.

"I can't do that Bella."

Then I ran.

***

It took me over an hour before I could make a decision; my meeting with Bella, still leaving me shaken and scared. Shaken because of what she'd said. Scared because of what she'd meant by it.

I knew It was fifth lesson by now and that I should return to class. But I couldn't, I simply couldn't. I was in my car, I hadn't driven home, I couldn't even turn it on, my hands were shaking too much. The snow, despite the rain previously, was starting to settle, the snow flakes larger now, each restlessly dancing in the air, never stopping, ever moving. Just like me. Only a thin white blanket was caressing the ground, but still it was beautiful, the trees around the school all had little snow flecked peaks. But even the snow could not stop the pain. Could anything?

I decided I would stop acting so pathetic, just like Lauren had claimed. Yes, Bella what Bella had said hurt, but that was the past, the old nursery rhyme rang in my ears: _sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me_. How wrong that stupid rhyme was. But that was enough feeling sorry for myself. I would forget about it, my human memory was no more than a sieve, hopefully this wasn't too big to fall through the gaps. I was sure Bella would not re-tell this to Edward, and neither would I, it would stay forgotten.

I needed a distraction and fast.

And then; I remembered.

Alice.

She had asked to go at the weekend, I was sure she wouldn't mind swapping that for an earlier date, I knew Alice all too well. Yes, that was what I would do, this way I could make everyone happy. Well, _most _people happy.

I called my dad quickly, the message went to answer phone, that was good, that way he couldn't ask questions. I briefly said I'd be home a bit late due to a shopping trip then hung up. No turning back now.

It was only a few more minutes waiting, before the first students started to come out of school, each of their faces lighting up considerably when they saw the snow. I was in my usual secluded spot in the car park, I was glad they couldn't see me. One by one, they filed out. Was it just me being impatient for my distraction, or were the Cullens always late out of class? Bella walked out. Her expression showed no sign of anger or pain, she was good at hiding her emotions, compared to me anyway, Edward's hand was wrapped around her waist; so loving, so protective. Thankfully, they didn't ponder and Alice came out just as they left, towing a subdued looking Jasper behind her.

I opened the door, and of course they heard me.

"Lucie!" Alice trilled, skipping up to where I stood. The pain had evaporated suddenly and instead I felt oddly excited, I wasn't sure why though.

"Alice…" I said, oh god, _what _was I doing to my self, but as soon as I thought that, again excitement arose… Alice's face was already beaming, she'd probably already foreseen this moment. "Um, do you mind if we go shopping today? Instead of the weekend?" I asked Alice's face fell fractionally, her tiny eyebrows furrowing in thought, it only took her two seconds to reply.

"Yes! But, only on _one _condition." she said, her voice became serious at the end.

"Yes?" I asked, prepared for the worst.

"We have to go shopping now _and _at the weekend!" She trilled, Jasper shot me a _'I know how you feel' _look. Uh, why, oh why did I think of this distraction, but again, I felt excited.

"Fine.." I muttered, Alice smiled widely and started dragging me back to her Porsche.

"Jasper, you coming too!" Alice said, her eyebrows rising, excitement bubbling though every word she spoke. How did people get excited over shopping. Fear I could understand, but excitement? Jasper suddenly looked nervous, Ha, now he knew how it feels!

"Um, I thought It was meant to be an all girl thing?" said Jasper, smiling, I knew he must have been controlling her emotions as Alice's response was far too calm to this. She simply danced slightly up to him, kissed him on the cheek and whispered into his ear, something too low for my weak human ears to catch.

"Bye Jazz!" she trilled, pulling me into the bright yellow Porsche, I was surprised _again _at the size of it. Did it get bigger every time? Alice began chatting animatedly, but my mind was wondering again. My excitement had left as soon as we had driven away from Jasper, I knew I wasn't feeling straight… excitement, at the prospect of shopping? I hadn't been listening properly, so I decided to put my distraction to good use, after all I was paying a heavy price for it. She told us where we were shopping and then asked me some questions.

"So do you like shopping?" she trilled, looking at me, not needing to concentrate on the road, I pretended not to notice, but It was hard, Alice kept acting too normally around me. Dropping the human façade, I now more than ever wanted to tell her my secret.

"Um…" how to reply? "Sure It's fun." I said, unsuccessfully hiding my horror at the idea, Alice let out a tinkling laugh and pulled up against a very large white building. A very, _scary _looking, big white building. I gulped.

"Honestly Lucie, your just like Bella!" she laughed again, pulling me quickly into the crowd of on-coming shoppers, how was this place so busy? It was a Thursday… I looked around curiously, trying not to think about what she'd just said, at the mention of Bella's name. We walked up two flights up escalators before going into a very, very, _very _expensive looking shop, one that I would never have even considered venturing in and that wasn't just due to the prices. Two _very _thin looking plastic models were wearing clothes, if you could call them that…

"Alice!" I said, panic rising into my voice at the thought of wearing a dress that ended _above _my thigh, "We can't shop in here!" Alice looked affronted at this, and turned to face me.

"Why ever not!" she exclaimed, as if I was being completely unreasonable.

"Two things," I hissed, "One, none of those clothes will fit and two It's winter!" I gestured the short outfits and cocktail dresses, empathising the word winter. Winter meant cold, cold meant an excuse to wear large warm clothes. Not, skimpy, freezing ones.

"Lucie! You can fit _anything_, look at yourself!" I didn't have a chance to reply, Alice was already muttering furiously "They're not _that _short." she said, but thankfully we walked out and Alice was now briskly towing me towards more shops.

"They looked pretty damn short to me." I said in an undertone. Alice smiled at me and then said darkly.

"Believe me, I've seen shorter." I didn't doubt her.

The next shop was smaller than the first, and less skimpy, but _still_, these prices where ridiculous. Alice seemed to want me to change into every item in the shop, I groaned internally, but nevertheless, did as she asked, not wanting to upset her. After several minutes, my shoulders were aching from too many different top garments; all of them had- in my opinion, not only been ludicrously over priced, but also far too revealing or uncomfortable- and I let out a sigh, Alice merely tutted and assured this would be the last one. A midnight blue top came over the changing booth, highly intricate with a selection of pale flowers that looked like orchids, I tired it on, it was surprisingly well fitted to my shape and it was comfortable.

"Alice?" I said, she'd ran off, trying on some clothes of her own, but she was by my side quickly and she gave an approving nod of my appearance, she looked slightly strange. "Shall I get this?" I asked, it would blow my whole shopping fund, but hopefully Alice would no longer feel the need to make me try on much more. Alice stared at me, but I must of imagined it, as she scooted to my side and began picking out various clothes from the discarded pile, before saying in her chirpy tone:

"No Lily, you're not getting any of these," my heart leapt, yes, no more clothe shopping, result! But I should have known better, "I am!" she sang, "Now, get changed out of that, and I'm getting you these ones as well, I don't care what you say, they look adorable on you." I got changed, but honestly this was getting more terrible by the second.

Alice skipped off towards the till, I didn't think I could bare to see how much that had all cost her, and came back to me, her tiny figure masked in bags. I took some, and cringed at the things she had bought, all no doubt, for myself.

We carried on like this, going to shops, me feigning enthusiasm to keep Alice happy all the time, was it just me or was she acting a bit strangely, constantly checking I was with her, honestly, I knew it was obvious I didn't exactly enjoy shopping. But did it really look like I was about to run off?

Last on Alice's shopping trip of doom was a shoe shop. As we arrived outside it, I nudged Alice, getting her attention, I had to do it with a free elbow. My arms were hurting now from the weight of the bags. Ok, admittedly Alice was half the size of me and still had about three times the amount of bags, but come one, vampire strength, remember?

"Alice, you've already got me some shoes" I looked down at my feet, but I couldn't see them, too many bags blocked my line of sight.

"Yes!" Alice trilled, how was she still excited? We'd been traipsing around this place for practically days- or at least, that's how it felt. "But, you've only got one pair of new shoes, you need at least three-"

"No, Alice, one is fine thank you very much."

"Nope, It's appalling, It simply cannot be done,!" I just looked at her, not bothering to hide my expression, she gave a puppy dog eyed look at me "Please Lucie!" she was even pouting now, I gave in, what ever made her happy…

"Fine, but only-" But, I was cut short.

"Only three, only three!" she trilled, ecstatic at having the thought of me trying on more overly priced and expensive items of clothing, did she really enjoy torturing me?

I learnt something in that next hour. Whilst having tens upon thousands of shoes rammed upon to my now, probably bruised feet. Any type of shoes Alice approves of have to be two things: one they have to look good. Two: they have to be incredibly uncomfortable. Yes, admittedly, The shoes Alice had gotten me previously had been an exception to this rule, however, that did not mean the hour was any less painful. My arms were now so heavy, they seriously felt like they were going to pop out of their sockets, how may things had Alice bought?

"You want to go have a coffee?" asked Alice, as we left the shoe shop, a_ full hour and a half, _after entering it. I tried not to stare, or look surprised, after all, Alice didn't know I knew about her, but I knew her trying coffee would be the equivalent of me drinking mud.

"No, I'm not thirsty," I lied, my mouth was parched, when was the last time I'd had any drink, or food for that matter. Alice raised her eyebrows very suspiciously, I knew she was about to ask if I was hungry, and so I hastened to add "or hungry." but I knew my words had escaped my mouth too quickly giving me away.

"Lucie, that's it, we're going to get you some food!" She said, while I feebly tried to convince her otherwise, but I soon gave up, I really was, very hungry.

We arrived in a secluded café, so different from all of the large luxurious shops we'd visited and stayed in earlier, It was so much more peaceful, so much more like home.

"So, what do you think of the shoes!" Alice said happily as we found a cute table, tucked away in the corner. We ordered food-no, well I ordered food, while Alice ruffled though her copious bags and so I looked down at the three bags possessing the shoes, each of which were a pale lilac colour. I never knew there were so many different colours bags came in these days. I almost forgot to answer her question, but was reminded when I saw her eyebrows raised, poised for my answer.

"I love them!" I said happily, not sounding too fake, I felt warmed at the prospect of food, at least this was nearly over now. My shoes weren't that bad, albeit very uncomfortable. I now had a pair of boots; stilettos and pumps to join the masses of clothing Alice had brought me.

Alice brightened considerably at this and we chatted happily throughout the time in which I ate, I was careful to avoid mentioning her siblings, afraid the subject might ruin my distraction. But, all too soon, the subject came up.

"So, do you like Edward?" Alice asked curiously, playing with a loose strand on her sleeve, carefully avoiding my eyes. I knew all too well the double meaning she was applying and so I replied smoothly lying through my teeth.

"Yeah, he's ok I guess."

"Only ok?" asked Alice, was she surprised, she looked closer to shocked.

"Well, he's really nice and all that, but…" I trailed off, I needed to end this conversation and fast, I could already feel the pain mounting inside me, threatening to leak out into my words, my conversation with Bella swam before my mind.

Bella's words rang in my ears: '_You have to stay away from Edward' _Impossible.

"But…?" Alice prompted, and now her face was filled with concern and sympathy, I felt sick slightly and stopped eating, why was everyone so worried about me? Couldn't they see that letting me suffer was the only way, that they could be happy.

"He's just not my type." I Lied, not my type… wasn't he everyone's type?

"Oh," Alice said, and thankfully she let the conversation drop, her eyes once more looking at the bags and then back at me, longing clear in her expression. "Lucie, could we, you-know, maybe have just one tiny more-"

"_No_, Alice!" I shouted, smiling though, seeing were she was heading, any more shops, and I would literally keel over dead. No joke. "besides, you don't want to ruin the fun for this weekend, do we?" I said, trying to brighten her now forlorn looking expression, it worked.

"Yes! I forgot!" She trilled. She forgot! I could have gotten out of it?! No…

Too late now. I finished up my meal of spaghetti and paid the bill, refusing Alice's demands point blank. The food, now _that _had been money well spent.

We walked out, well Alice did, I staggered out, weighed down by twenty or so bags, some containing horrors I couldn't even look at, let alone _wear_…

"Alice!" I said, suddenly worried. "This isn't going to fit!" I gestured with my eyes towards the mountain of bags we had, far too many to be considered a healthy amount.

"Of course It'll fit! I don't get cars unless they can fit a good day's shopping in them Lucie, honestly what do you take me for." I just smiled as I remembered.

"But of course, your own personal yellow Tardis." I said quietly, oops, had I said it out loud?

"My own personal, yellow what?!" said Alice looking mortified, evidently taking my remark as an insult. How was I meant to explain this?

"Err: 'Time. And. Relative. Dimensions. In. Space.' Ring any bells?" I said, smiling, of course she didn't know what the Tardis was, only weird people Like I knew that.

"Um, I can honestly say no." said Alice, looking completely and utterly bemused. We got into the yellow Porsche, and amazingly, Alice was right, all the bags fitted with ease, proving the car's Tardis like abilities…

As we sped home Alice turned on her music, leaving me to think. A very bad thing. I couldn't help it. Bella's words continued to float around in my head. I sighed, so quietly, that even Alice didn't notice. Edward Cullen was no longer a mystery, I had no reason at all now to feeling so drawn to him. I wasn't running away from the vampires. I was slowly torturing myself to stay with them, as long as they stayed, I would live, If they left. I could not. Alice's shopping trip, although long and arduous had been a success. For about four hours I had been able to forget about the thing I craved most, the thing I most desired, with only an occasional odd slip ups.

Alice at least, I could trust, I knew she would not leave me, or at least she could; but I knew she would feel regret for doing so, a rueful smile passed my lips as I thought how Bella would react to me leaving. She would probably be over the moon. Yes, Alice had been great, a prefect diversion to my thoughts, she'd been the best the distraction I could have hoped for.

Distractions; such a beautiful word, with only one flaw attached.

One vital flaw.

They never last.

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**Did you like that chappy? I had to add it in, due to several requests(I promised and I can't break promises!) was it worth it?**

**The next chapter's going to be dramatic, It's the one I had a dream about last week, I'll start writing it but only if: YOU REVIEW!**

**Thank you SO much all who've reviewed so far, you along with the snow, have made me happy- which is a good emotion to feel!**

**Please review, please, please? Please! PLEASE?!**

**Lily- who will have to go to disgusting school, despite the glorious snow.**


	9. The Dream Of Desire

**Hey! **

**Thank you so much all ho reviewed AGAIN, I'm so happy! I MEAN WOW- 67 reviews... I was very pleased about that.**

**I'm sorry, this isn't the one I had a dream about, I tried to fit it in, but it would simply have been way too long. So I'm adding it in next chapter.**

**This chapter is dedicated to all who review, but also, especially to ScarletRoseX who has been keeping me so entertained.**

**Anyway, enough talk from me: here it is!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I know it's a shock, I was so convinced it was mine… **

**What happened last chapter:**

Alice at least, I could trust, I knew she would not leave me, or at least she could; but I knew she would feel regret for doing so, a rueful smile passed my lips as I thought how Bella would react to me leaving. She would probably be over the moon. Yes, Alice had been great, a prefect diversion to my thoughts, she'd been the best the distraction I could have hoped for.

Distractions; such a beautiful word, with only one flaw attached.

One vital flaw.

They never last.

**The Dream of Desire.**

There I lay on my bed, yet again unable to sleep.

The sky outside was simply beautiful, I had arrived home yet but two hours ago, and it was amazing that in such a short amount of time the sky could change from so many different colours. Now I gazed upon the night, enthralled and lost, captivated by the stars, dim in the distance, so enchanting. Here, I was finally at rest, I didn't need to think about my life; the hectic way in which every thing seemed to fall, causing both disarray and destruction in its wake.

The night, simply exquisite.

There was no other way to describe it. The night becomes a mixture of black and deep blue, covering the world in a shroud of darkness, as the sun diminishes back, although this sometimes creates fear from the darkness. Tonight I felt no fear. Fear was simple, and easily dealt with, what I possessed was neither of these. It was the very opposite: complex and impossible to set straight.

It was Friday tomorrow, meaning I would have to go to school, have to confront my fear. Bella. Would she act normally; seemingly forget about our talk? I didn't know what she was going to do, but I would just have to deal with it. After all, it was not Bella's fault, only I could be blamed.

But was what she had said really true? Was I trying to take Edward away from her?

No. Yes, I was drawn to him, and that was no longer, it seemed due to mystery. But still, I never intended to prise him away from Bella, did she not see that it would be about as easy as separating something stuck in concrete.

Yes, I was intrigued by him.

Yes, I thought about him too much.

But I was not trying to steal him. That, I would never do.

As long as Edward stayed I was happy.

I had to stop thinking about this though, it was silly, stupid, so trivial of me, to worry about things that hadn't even happened yet. I was just pessimistic, I always had been- forever expecting the worst as this (due to my bad luck) was what always found me. I reverted my gaze back to the window, once again lost in the night sky, the stars shining brightly, so far away and so remote.

As I stared into the night, I felt my lids grow heavy, I lay my head against the pillow, cool and soft. The stars began to blur and fade before my eyes and soon I was asleep, waiting for my dreams to take me, to where the world was a less frightening place.

***

_I walked into the meadow, the snow fell around me, twirling in the wind. I ran across it, searching. As I looked behind me, I heard a voice; perfect and beautiful, the exact same as the meadow's presence. I turned, there he stood, his bronze hair flecked with diamonds of ice, tiny snowflakes dancing around him. His skin showering off thousands of diamond light, illuminating the meadow, making it more clear. I ran towards him, he called my name. I was so close now, I placed my pale hand in front of me, longing to touch his face. _

"_You have to stay away from Edward." The words rang loud, shattering the silence, said the voice I now loathed, I turned and saw her, the ice beauty, by the stream, with a beckon of her finger Edward was by her side. She smiled at him, and he stared back; devotion and immense care etched on his prefect face. They ran off into the forest. Leaving me. My hand closed on cold air, encapsulating a single snowflake, I crushed it, and it melted away, into nothing._

I woke up. My hand was outstretched in front of me, still ready to touch his face, I let it fall. Hatred rising inside me, self loathing possessing me. Great, so now I was _dreaming _about him! Wasn't it bad enough that I had to go to school today, I had to look at him. I was going to _think _of him, why was he forever in my mind?

But it wasn't just him. After all, that hadn't been a dream, it had been a nightmare. Bella's words following me where-ever I went, never ceasing to haunt me. I had been the snowflake, I was trapped in Fate's cruel grasp, I was being crushed; suffocated and soon, I would simply melt, into nothing. I did not cry. I didn't feel hatred or anger or pain anymore. Now I felt what must be the worst thing of all. Numbness. It was if I was already dead, but somehow still breathing, still submitted to agony and torture, I was slowly being compressed, drawing the last breaths I had out of my weary lungs, leaving nothing but an abyss. An abyss that I would surely fall into.

No! I mentally shouted. Just a stupid silly dream, that was all that was, I had no reason or right to be acting so pathetically, I would forget about that. About the whole dream. Except…

The meadow.

A strange desire gripped me, and it was so strong; so powerful, there was no denying the need, it had to be satisfied.

I simply _had_ to go there.

I looked across at my clock, the alarm no longer worked, but the timing wasn't off.

4:00am- perfect.

I couldn't explain the feeling that washed over me then, stronger than any tsunami wave, It thrashed upon me, leaving no other option, the desire gripped my every fibre, I simply _had _to get to that meadow. I _had _to escape this horrid state of melancholy.

I didn't know what happened in the next few minutes. I was driven by a crazy sort of adrenaline pumped desire. I suddenly found my limbs working of their own accord. My legs swung me out of bed, my arms pulled clothes onto my body, everything was happening so fast and quickly without my conscious meaning too. It was almost as if I was in a dream, time moving in stops and starts, I didn't fully awake until I was downstairs, my school bag hanging loosely on my shoulder, a pen poised in my hand.

I was dressed, my hair was brushed and my bag was packed. I completely set for school, only problem was, it was a full 4 hours before I was even meant to set off. Again, my hand moved without my mind, I found myself scrawling a note to my father; even my hand writing seemed different, rushed and nearly illegible.

_Dad, I'm going to school early with a friend, breakfast is in the fridge, I'll be back later, love you, Lucie xxx_

The next moment I was in the car, silently praying the sound would not awake my father. It didn't, or if it did, he didn't come outside to check, I drove off quickly speeding along the road, it was more than stupid, it was reckless. The roads were coated in ice, and still thick with the snow that had fallen last night. What was I _doing_?

I suddenly realised I didn't have a clue where I was going. I stopped and pulled over, It was barely visible with only a trickle of light escaping from the indigo sky. Was I going mad? I had been so gripped by desire, I hadn't thought this through, In fact I hadn't even thought about it _at all _what an earth was happening to me?

I tried to judge just how far I'd just driven, three miles? Four? I knew I was closer to my destination then I was to home, and that was all it took to spur me on, convinced on getting to the meadow. I sifted through Bella's past when driving again, I knew roughly where it was in the forest, so I stopped the car and I ran out into the snow.

I was wearing the new top Alice had brought me, midnight blue with orchids, My jeans where designer ones from god-knows-what shop, and I still had the pale blue shoes on. I looked like I was about to have an evening out. Instead, I began briskly, purposefully, trekking through the snow, resolute on getting to the meadow. Dimly I thought I should be cold. There was snow everywhere, the air was icy, and I was wearing very little. But my whole body felt detached, the cold could not penetrate my state of mind, keeping me warm I carried on purposely walking.

I had no idea why it was so essential, why I had suddenly gone into a messed up trance. I was half way though the forest now, the white snow stood out brilliantly against the darkness, incandescent. So pure.

I knew I was getting close, the air tasted damp and I could smell the moss beneath the thick layer of snow, light was dimly starting to break through the tree tops, illuminating my path. A silver ribbon of light streamed ahead of me, leading the way. Somehow, it all seemed familiar, I walked effortlessly through the trees, weaving in and out, still disorientated, and still gripped with an adrenaline pumped desire, pulsing through my veins. I had no idea how long I'd been walking, I couldn't see the time-I never wore a watch- but still, it can't have been long could it? I'd only just gotten out of bed.

I worried slightly then, finally snapping out of the trance, reality hitting me hard, a thousand needles of ice flew at my skin, the cold, had evidently returned.

I thought about turning back, was I mad, walking though the forest like this, wearing barely anything, I could develop hypothermia, one of the first signs was after all: odd behaviour. Which I certainly possessed.

But then I stumbled across into the meadow.

It was a clearing, the ground was coated in snow, I heard a stream, still flowing, but trapped between a layer of ice. Only the birds' song could be heard, it alone penetrated the eerie silence of the place, and suited it to perfection. My painting; my dream; Bella's memories: none of them had done justice to it's sheer beauty. I fell backwards into the snow, making an imprint of my figure, sighing in contentment.

The overwhelming desire had been replenished. I was no longer in a trance, I had awoken now, and I simply couldn't tear my eyes away from this place. How could one leave such beauty, without knowing it was going to be safe? I simply wanted to lie here. To think peacefully and not to have to feel guilt worry or pain. True, those feelings could be replaced by a worse one; numbness- but thankfully that was one that had subsided, leaving me happier.

I wondered how many times Edward had been to this place. When had he even found out that it was here? Bella and him sat, together, finally alone and safe. The hole threatened to rip inside me. But I ignored it, I was allowed to think of them, anyone could do that. Edward dancing before Bella's gaze, his skin sparkling in the light; a thousand diamonds shattering off him. The meadow, so isolated, it simply looked so pure and untouched, as if no-one had ever laid eyes upon it, before this moment.

Eventually it was the cold that got to me, that made me avert my eyes, but it was hard, I just wanted to lie here, quietly thinking. Suddenly the thousand knives hit me, sending a violent shake through me, it was much too cold.

I ran back, the cold was now suffocating me, I felt myself distantly, my body so detached still, shiver furiously. I tripped as I ran forgetting the way out of the forest, the meadow fell away behind me, becoming just a light in my mind as I sped through the still white trees.

I reached the car and threw myself inside, desperately trying to escape from the cold. I tried to warm my still freezing hands up, rubbing them together back and forth hurriedly, as if to ignite a flame.

I looked at the dash board as I turned the car on, my hands were now, thankfully, warmed up, and I had stopped shaking.

5:34am- had I really been there that long? It felt like all but two minutes ago, that I had left the safety of my room, the comfort if my bed. Suddenly the cold reminded me why I was back in the car. Shook my head, trying to clear it and paced my hands- now as pale as the white power lining the ground-on the driving wheel. I had to get home.

The road was icy, how I had driven across it so fast before was beyond my knowledge. The terrible desire and need to see the meadow had left, leaving me _very _confused and scared.

I got home, quietly placing the car back into its original spot, slowly I crept into the house. As I walked into the kitchen, I saw my note, haphazardly thrown across the table in my rush to escape. I picked it up and crushed it in my palm, my father did not need to know of my sudden disappearance, he could only be safe in his ignorance.

Abruptly I felt exhausted, I walked up the stairs and collapsed into my bed, not bothering to remove my still wet clothes, drifting off into an uneasy sleep filled with the Cullens and darkness, both mysterious and both deadlier than I could have thought possible.

***

A screaming woke me up.

My eyes shot open and it took me several seconds to realise that the ear splitting sound was coming from my own mouth. I snapped it shut. My father was looking at me. Shock still in the door way, his hair still messy from getting out of bed, staring at me in horror.

"Lucie?" he said, so quietly it was barely a whisper. He looked terrified, I knew I could look nothing less. I couldn't reply, the dream I had was still fresh and horribly vivid in my mind. Blanking out all else. It had been so vivid, so _real_.

But I couldn't think about that now, my father was still staring at me, evidently horrified. I had to reassure him, only I should have to suffer.

"Dad?" I asked, my voice was hoarse from screaming, my head was dizzy, I felt faint again; I knew I must be whiter than usual. No, I had to concentrate, had to reassure. "Dad, you okay, you look like you've seen a ghost!" I wasn't kidding, his face was still white in shock, staring at me. My feeble attempt at humour did not work, he still looked far too worried.

"Lucie, honey? You okay, you were screaming, I-I thought-" His voice broke on the last word, he seemed unable to say much more. I felt so ashamed, he should not have to worry like this, not again. My mother's death had affected us all, I shouldn't have forgotten that. I stood up quickly, and thankfully I didn't fall. I really needed to get out of here, I knew my scary-calm state would not last. I felt far too close to breaking. I walked over to him and hugged him. Here I was safe, in my father's arms, fear could not reach me, nor him, whilst we were like this.

"It was just a silly dream dad. I'm sorry I woke you." I said smiling, as I pulled apart, my lie worked, he smiled with colour back in his face.

"You better make me one hell of a breakfast for scaring me like that honey!" He said, walking back to his room and ruffling my hair affectionately.

"Sure dad!" I called, looking at the clock, it was 6:30am, I had plenty of time.

It was only when I was frying my father's breakfast that I remembered. I looked down at my clothes, and sure enough, I was wearing the same blue orchid top, still slightly damp.

It hadn't been a dream.

I really had been to the meadow, and found nothing, for some reason fear escalated through me, I was unsure why. Nothing had happened, I convinced my self, I had just gone to a meadow, what was wrong with that? Except for the fact that vampires practically owned that meadow. And the fact that I had gone their at four in the morning, with no reasonable explanation or cause.

But that was nothing to worry about, it was tiny, so insufficient, when it came to what lay ahead. I made my dad breakfast-extra special like he ordered, grabbed a piece of toast myself and glanced back at the time, 7:54, I' better be off. I had to face my fear, nothing could happen, after all it was only school.

A school that was filled with perfect vampires, vampires that I admired rather than hated. A school that was filled with eager students, ready to humiliate me whenever the opportunity arised. A school with a girl that I was sure now hated me- Bella Swan.

Yeah, how bad could that be… after all it was only school.

***

The car park was very full when I arrived, I was late. I walked into the school and instantly the dread- that I'd tried to leave behind- flew at me hitting me hard in the face. Bella Swan was on the other side of the hall from me, Edward was by Alice, leaving Bella free to stare at me, the hatred evident in her eyes. I didn't have time to study her expression more closely, I looked down- stubbornly staring at my shoes, damp from the snow I'd ran through earlier, the snow that had been next to the meadow…

Don't think about it.

I had to distract myself, I was about to walk to my first class-Physics, but Angela suddenly came over to me.

"Hey Lucie!" She said, smiling brightly and was it just me, or were her cheeks slightly flushed?

"Hi." I said, not being able to manage much more, staring at Angela. Her mousy brown hair was not in it's usual style, instead of being pulled back into a pony tail it fell down either side of her face. I bleakly wondered what had made her change it. Not that I objected, I was merely curious. Was today special?

She talked to me happily as we walked to Physics and I was pleasantly surprised at how much tolerance I had for her talk, even though virtually none was needed. She was so considerate, this was just apparent by her voice; which was always oddly comforting. I didn't feel quite so detached when I was with her, and I was thankful because of it. She briefly talked of Ben when we were talking, I saw her cheeks redden slightly, suddenly I knew the cause. But gosh, I really had been slow at noticing…

"Angela, what's happening with you and, erm-" I rushed my sentence quickly in my discovery, but how to phrase this? I wasn't trying to be nosy- or sell gossip, like Jessica- I was just curious. "I mean, I don't know want to pry but are you and Ben…" I trailed off, knowing I'd said enough for her to get my question. There was no denying her blush now; her whole face was scarlet, but thankfully, she was smiling, a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Yeah!" she squeaked, totally and utterly content. "He asked yesterday-when we were in the library. My hair had fallen out of its plaits and- oh he was so sweet!" she said frantically, still beaming.

"Go on." I urged, happy for her success.

"Well, he said I was _beautiful_, with my hair down and all, then he just asked me out! He's not coming to school today though, he said he's going to be doing volunteer work at the hospital, he really is so thoughtful."

"What did you say?" I asked. It was a stupid question, one that I knew the answer to, but I felt distant again, I couldn't concentrate. I'd just remembered something. Angela's voice snapped me out of thought.

"Yes, of course!" She said as we reached the Physics class room and walked inside. She walked to her usual spot near the front, whilst I simply stood there, at the doorway, terrified. I walked quickly, tripping slightly in my rush to sit down, hoping that no-one had noticed the flash of dread upon my face.

Mr Banner started talking, his voice a low monotone, I listened, desperate to distract my thoughts, but it was too late. The door opened, as a late arrival walked through.

Edward Cullen's hair was free of snow, just bronze and tousled, no amount of jell could ever perfect his look. He apologised in a quick, swift voice, that sent my heart flying.

"I'm sorry Mr Banner."

"Just hurry up and sit down, we're doing an experiment today: The Liquid Layers test." Edward sat down, I saw a slight smile tug the corners of his lips at Mr Banner's evident impatience.

I groaned internally then. The experiment was simple, I'd actually done it, rather than seen it in someone's past. But I wasn't worried about the experiment. I was worried because Ben was 'doing volunteer work' leaving me alone. The only other person without a partner was Edward.

"You'll work with the person sitting next to you, the jars are placed around the lab, along with the various liquids, I shall be going round monitoring your progress, and I expect a full explanation on what happens to be written don in your books. Right, you may start." He said briskly, turning to do a pile of marking, but not before he noticed me, sitting alone at the back of the class. "Oh, Luciana Raven, go with Edward."

Breathe Lucie.

He came walking over, still smiling slightly, when he reached me though, he assed my emotions far too quickly, and asked a question I could not possibly answer truthfully.

"Lucie? What's wrong." he asked as he sat next to me. I tried to ignore the kick of adrenaline, that the very sight of him produced. My heart was so loud now, It fel t like it was going to escape out of my chest.

"Honestly, what are you? A physiognomist?" I asked, managing to smile.

"Wow, that's a big word." Edward snorted, as he started writing out a prediction and method.

"Well then, how did you judge my features so correctly?" I asked, also writing down the work.

"My amazing observant skills." he said calmly, but I'd said to much. "So am I correct then, your not okay?" he asked, why, why did it sound like worry in his voice. My imagination must have been affected due to lack of sleep, he could not be worried about me.

I had to make up an excuse and fast, so I simply said:

"No, Mr Banner's just announced my full name to the whole class. Again." It was not a lie, I hated my name, by now though, practically the whole school would've known it, what with teachers insisting on using it all the time.

He looked up at me then, his eyebrow raised questionably, his angular cheek bones prominent through his pale skin.

"Do you not like your name?" he asked, still staring at me, his golden eyes burning.

"Hate it." I breathed.

"Luciana, 'une lumière éblouissante.'" He mused, with a dry smile.

"Sorry?" I asked, my French skills really did seem amateur when compared to his.

"Oh, nothing," he said, finishing up "you ready?" I'd forgotten the experiment, in fact, I'd forgotten that we were even in Physics, I stood up quickly. Too quickly, I half stumbled towards the ground, expecting impact, but I felt a cool hand on my elbow and shoulder steadying me.

"Thanks." I mumbled, regaining posture, He merely smiled slightly before repeating his earlier statement.

"Ready?"

"Yeah, sure, you want to get set up?" I asked hurriedly, finding a suitable space in the crowded lab, unsure of his previous remark regarding my name. He'd just made another cryptic little comment, sure to get my mind whirring dangerously.

We were finished in minutes, it was not a hard experiment.

"It appears we seemed to have finished first." said Edward, his tone implied that this was a usual trait.

"Well, well this _is _unusual." I muttered, still slightly cross at his French ability. He chuckled at this, his lips fighting back a smile.

"So, did you have fun with Alice?" He asked, conversationally. I couldn't stop my grimace at the memory- my feet were probably still bruised from the experience. He couldn't prevent the smile now, at my expression. "Poor you, I can sympathise."

"I don't think you can." I said, he had no idea what _real _shopping with Alice was. "Have you ever been made to wear skimpy dresses? Then have around fifty shoes rammed onto your feet? And finally; be made to try on vast amounts of 'in' clothing?" I asked, his face turned from mock shock to utter amusement.

"Ah, I see your point." he smiled wryly. " I admit, I've never quite had to endure _that _before."

"Trust me," I muttered darkly, "you don't want to." remembering the countless amounts of clothes I had gained from that, all -apart from the ones that I was wearing- that were sure never to be used.

Suddenly, Mr Banner was by my shoulder, he placed a stubby hand on it, that made me jump.

"Finished already, have we?" he smirked, highly sceptical.

"Yes." both me and Edward said innocently, we looked at each other, now both fighting a smile. Hadn't this happened before?

"Right then, if you're so sure you've finished, Miss Raven you wouldn't mind reading what you've learnt." His voice had changed from sarcasm to patronising and personally, I think I preferred the sarcasm.

"Of course not, sir." I said, knowing full well that he assumed Edward had done all the work, and therefore expected me to be left speechless and stuttering. Tough luck, he'd found the wrong girl to ask. "When you pour the oil slowly onto the water, it forms a layer on top of the water, because it is less dense than water – that is, the mass of one litre of oil is less than the mass of one litre of water. Thus, the buoyant force on the oil due to the water is greater than its weight and, by Archimedes's principle, the oil floats – just like a solid object would." I said, Edward was grinning now, and I couldn't blame him.

The shock on Mr Banner's face was truly priceless. He wasn't giving up the fight quite yet though, he countered quickly.

"And…" I smiled, delighted at finally putting use to my knowledge of Physics, with such entertaining effects.

"When you shake together the oil and water, they separate quickly, because they are immiscible-" I was going to carry on, but Mr Banner interrupted, a sly smile forming his lips.

"And, what exactly does 'immiscible' mean?" he asked, sarcasm still thick on his tongue. I replied quickly, I would not give him the satisfaction of backing down.

"literally non-mixable. This is because of the differences between the water and oil molecules: Water is a 'polar' molecule –" I knew he was about to interrupt again, so I carried on, ignoring him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward's grin widen.

"meaning its positive and negative charged parts are separated onto opposite ends of the molecule and oil is non-polar. This means that the oil molecules don't interact with the water molecules and there is no attraction to drive the two fluids to mix."

Mr Banner's face was red with embarrassment now, the whole class was staring at the scene. Their eyes flickering from a humiliated teacher, to myself, who I assumed looked slightly smug and an amused Edward, who was leaning casually against the side. Looking completely at ease with the conversation, his grin revealing a set of prefect white teeth.

Mr Banner still looked unable to speak, so I decided to finish off. "Generally, non-polar fluids do not mix well with other fluids (even other non-polars), because without the attraction there is no reason for the fluids to mix (or stay mixed)." I stated calmly.

His face was still stuck half way between incredulity- at my explanation, and discomfiture- from all of his students staring at him. Ha! That would teach him from thinking I was thick, (okay, admittedly he hadn't actually said that, but the thought was there…) I could tell.

"Erm," muttered Mr Banner, who seemed to have regained speech, just about. "right. Yes, now, just, do some graphs…" His sentence became incoherent towards the end and mumbled as he went back to marking, with a sullen look on his face.

"Nice." Edward said to me in an undertone. "Couldn't of said it better myself."

"Why thank you," I turned to him smiling, only to find his eyes fixed on the doorway. Outside it stood Alice, an urgent look on her face. I turned back to Edward, his face frowning in concentration. What was he doing? But soon I understood, he was reading Alice's mind, the door preventing speech.

Suddenly he seemed to snap out of it, he turned to face me. His eyes anxious, darting from me to the door, he seemed to be deciding something.

"Excuse me." was all he said, his voice very low, and in just three swift bounds, he had left the class. Leaving me, standing there, staring at where he'd been, not two seconds before. I realised with a jolt, that I was still in Physics, people were still doing the experiment, frantically writing down explanations with only ten minutes left.

It all happened very quickly after that.

I saw Mike walk towards me, smiling, not concentrating. He still had a jar in his hand. I heard someone call my name, but Mike was getting closer now, a bag lay ahead of him, but he wasn't looking at the floor, only at me. I knew what was going to happen next, still it was too late.

"Mike, the floor!" I shouted, Mike looked down, tripping over the bag in doing so. He stumbled towards me, and collided, the jar in his hand went flying.

Next thing I knew, I was hurled backwards, having Mike's weight pushed upon me, the jar smashed, and a shatter of glass hit my outstretched arm, piercing the skin. My scream was muffled by Mike's crushing weight, my head was swimming, I looked down at my arm, and sure enough, a hot trickle of blood was flowing down it.

I now knew why Alice had been at the door. Why Edward had left the room. The floor around me was littered with glass, I saw the blood, my blood soak into the grey carpet. After that, the darkness seized me.

***

I woke up on a hard surface, my head was fuzzy, and I couldn't see properly yet, in fact I couldn't find the strength to open my eyes, I heard voices around me all repeating something. My name. Suddenly my eyes flew open, as I heard it again.

"Lucie?" I looked up, It was Mike, standing over me, his expression shocked. I wondered where I was, What had happened, but as soon as I saw the man with a balding head and stubby hands, I didn't need much more time in remembering. I was in Physics.

I sat up. Only to find the whole class staring at me. Thankfully, It appeared I hadn't been out for long, only a few moments. A few moments was all it took, it seemed, to get everyone's attention. I saw Mike stand up to talk to Mr Banner, who nodded in approval, still staring at me, his face a cross between fear and disgust. Others were talking round the class, but they-Like Mike's voice- were all fuzzy, I couldn't make out the words.

"Mhhm…" I managed to mumble. I didn't want to look at my pulsing arm, knowing the sight of blood was sure to make me faint again. Next thing I knew, I was being lifted, two arms lifted my frail figure into the air. As soon as I was suspended the dizziness hit, "N-no!" I stammered. "P-put me down!" I looked up. Mike was holding me, a sympathetic look in his eyes.

"Not likely Lucie, you've just fainted," he stated, as if I didn't already realise that. I scowled indignantly "and your bleeding." his voice implied there was no more to be said. I wanted to argue further, but I felt a wave of nausea roll off me as he started walking.

I looked up again. Had I passed out, fainted again? If I had, again, I can't have been for long, I saw Mike above me. I hated feeling this weak. I had to stop him, I knew where he was taking me.

The nurse.

"Mike, put me _down_!" I practically shouted at him. How he was still able to suspend me baffled me. A fleeting memory of Bella's past hit me. Her fainting in Biology, seeing blood, being carried by Edward.

It was hardly fair, Bella had fainted because she'd _seen _blood, and not even her own. I had fainted because I'd been knocked back by Mike Newton, whose jar flew at me, shattered, cut open my arm. Then I'd seen _my _blood. So how come Bella had got Edward to carry her. And I had Mike Newton? I stopped my thoughts short, appalled at myself. Why on _earth _was I thinking like this. I really must have hit my head.

Amongst all this time however, Mike still hadn't put m down and to be perfectly honest I was getting fed up. Honestly, fainting doesn't exactly require this much attention. "Mike. Put. Me. Down." I said through gritted teeth, furious. He grinned cockily at me and said arrogantly.

"No way Lucie, I'm having too much fun!" and that was all it took. Mike had just unleashed my anger. He was going to regret it.

I slapped him.

"Mike, put me down or _else_." I threatened. He looked at me, completely and utterly shocked, but complied all the same, placing me on the cool tiled floor. His cheek now had an angry red mark on it. Surprisingly, I didn't feel remotely sympathetic.

"Lucie, you need to see the-"

"If you say nurse, I may have to kill you." I stated. Anything, _anything_, but the nurse. Mike stood there, still looking like he was going to force me to go. I knew my face made him decide otherwise, I probably looked, very cross.

"Okay, but Lucie, you can't stay here, you need to-" I stood up, not answering his attempts to make me go to the nurse.

"Look Mike," I said, giving in. The anger had ceased, and again I felt guilty for slapping him. Would I ever _not _feel guilty? "I'm sorry, really sorry for slapping you, and snapping like that, I was just-confused, I hate fainting, it makes me feel sick," I said, grimacing.

"All the more reason for you to go-"

"Drop it Mike," I said calmly, "Look, I just need to clean up." He looked doubtful, I had to get away though, I needed to think, thinking was not exactly easy when your constantly being pressured into seeing a nurse.

I walked towards the nearest bathroom, leaving Mike standing in the hallway. Was it just me, or was this day getting longer by the second. It was after all, only this morning that I'd run through the woods, to see the meadow. So enchanting and perfect, the desire before had subsided, but still, that did not mean I did not want to go back. On the contrary, now that I'd seen the place. I knew I had to see it again.

I grabbed a tissue and began mopping up the blood, there was little, it had only been one tiny shard that had caused so much chaos. I lay my head against the cool tile wall of the bathroom, when I was finished, thankful that it was empty. Despite my aching arm, my dull head and empty stomach, I was still worried about one thing more than anything else.

Bella. Had I just not spent practically a whole hour with Edward, and not even tried to prevent it? I couldn't help myself, I was lost in his presence, I couldn't think of anything but him, when he was in proximity. Plus It didn't help that he had talked to me. After all, It had been him, not I that had asked if the other was ok. It had been him who had asked the questions. I had merely answered him. Afraid of lying. But terrified of telling the truth.

Yes, today was going to be a very long day.

I heard the bell ring, signalling next class. I got up, staying here was pathetic in the extreme, and besides, I did feel fine now. Or as close to fine as I could possibly get.

But as I walked out the bathroom, I remembered Edward. He had seen Alice's mind, seen that I would fall and shed blood. He knew it was going to happen. I saw Bella's memories again. Him holding her, suspending her lightly, his vampire strength enabling to lift her with ease.

He had seen me fall.

And yet he had not saved me.

Suddenly in that instant; I knew I was alone.

**Dun dun dun…**

**Ok, it wasn't exactly dramatic, but the next chapter will be…**

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	10. The Crimson Stains

**Hey! **

**First things first, thanks to all my AMAZING reviewers, who all deserve credit for this chapter, because without them, I wouldn't have been able to write it!**

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**Thanks so much you lovely people! Here's the chapter with my dream in, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: For some obscure reason, unbeknown to myself, I appear to still not have rights to own Twilight. Maybe it's something to do with me not publishing, or writing it. We'll never know.**

**:p**

**Voila!**

**What happened last chapter:**

Yes, today was going to be a very long day.

I heard the bell ring, signalling next class. I got up, staying here was pathetic in the extreme, and besides, I did feel fine now. Or as close to fine as I could possibly get.

But as I walked out the bathroom, I remembered Edward. He had seen Alice's mind, seen that I would fall and shed blood. He knew it was going to happen. I saw Bella's memories again. Him holding her, suspending her lightly, his vampire strength enabling to lift her with ease.

He had seen me fall.

And yet he had not saved me.

Suddenly in that instant; I knew I was alone.

**The Crimson Stains.**

So far, the day had not been great. And yes, that was an understatement.

I'd managed to attract one hell of a lot of attention, just by _walking _to my next class, History. Then, I tried to work quietly, to distract the attention from myself, the glances, whispers and comments. It did not work. I heard people talk, and it did not take much to figure out the subject of their gossip. Me. Everyone now, was wondering if I had an illness, I couldn't really blame them, after all, I'd already fainted twice in the space of one week. My thoughts were subdued and black. I could not feel anything towards trivial things like that at the moment, Bella again, rose to the surface of my mind.

My feelings towards Bella were odd. For one thing, my first feeling towards her was not resentment, like it should have been. I was, not intimidated, but scared. It was an irrational feeling to feel, and my reasons were just as irrational. I knew Bella's past, her every emotion and thought, was still locked up in my head. I knew about her feelings towards Jacob, her secret that she couldn't reveal, so in most senses, she should be the intimidated one. Except for the fact, that no-one knew my own secret. No, the reason why I was scared of Bella was simple: I had secrets of my own, ones that she could never find out about. If I, for instance, confronted her about Jacob, I would have to reveal my gift in doing so. In revealing my gift, the Cullens would either flee from me, or stay. But the risk was too high to put that to test.

The real reason I was scared was because of Edward. He loved Bella, more than she could possibly imagine, I saw the way he walked around her. Always ready to save, to protect from anything that would cause her unhappiness. I fitted into that category. But if Edward found out about Jacob. The werewolf, to whom Bella loved, he would crumple. I could not let Edward be unhappy, him suffer because of Bella. Again, why was I not feeling resentment towards her? For loving Jacob and hurting Edward? Why, because I had seen her past. Seen her struggles and turmoil. None of this was Bella's fault. If anything, it was my own. For being born with a gift, for wanting to see Bella's past. Yes, everything was my fault.

I stood up. The bell had just rang. I'd only realised it was time to go, when others started standing up. It was still only second lesson, time today was stuck, taking forever to move. I knew I had Maths next, and my stomach clenched uncomfortably at the thought.

Edward.

How would he react to seeing me? I knew there was no doubt in the fact that he had seen me- in Alice's vision- fall, shed blood. Would he be disgusted? Surprised and angry that I hadn't gone home? Worried for his family, and their control? I knew he didn't like me. How stupid was I to even think for one second that he liked me. Edward wanted Bella to be safe, that much was certain, my safety wouldn't have crossed his mind for an instant.

I walked into Maths, looking at the floor. I did not want to see his face. I knew that it alone would raise my pulse, send my heart flying, my oversensitive emotions would give me away. I could not let that happen. I sat down and looked up. He hadn't arrived yet, a let out a small sigh. He'd probably gone home with the rest of his family, after my little incident.

Maths was simple; as always. I wrote and drew the numbers stubbornly looking down at my work, but my heart wasn't in it. It couldn't be, for one thing: it was Maths, so I really didn't mind if I didn't concentrate. And for another: my mind was far to preoccupied by other things to worry about my work. Namely, Edward. I ran through what happened earlier in my head. He'd been talking to me, joking, he complimented me. Then there was Alice, urgently standing at the door, her face full of sincerity. Edward had looked from me, to Alice and decided. To let me fall. Then well, Mike Newton had fallen on me, causing me to bleed, causing me to see my blood. Causing me to faint and in doing so, causing me to be the main topic of practically everyone in the whole school. Great.

Fifteen minutes had passed, and again the hour seemed so long; unlike Physics, which had passed by with ease. Dimly I looked up from my work, it was the first time I had done so, all lesson, not wanting to see the stares. Thankfully, Maths, it seemed was now on most people's minds, rather than my health. I had finished my work, an so began to doodle, absentmindedly on the side of my maths book. I drew the scene I had visited earlier- no one would think that the decorative swirls and patterns belonged to a meadow, it was filled with darkness though, no light this time illuminated the path.

With a jolt, I snapped out of drawing, someone was at the door.

It didn't take a genius to work out who.

"And, what do you think your doing this late Mr Cullen?" Asked Mr Varner(for some reason, Mr Banner wasn't teaching Maths today,) his eyes resting on what I could only presume was Edward's glorious figure, I couldn't look at him myself.

"Just trying to make an entrance." I heard him say casually, not swayed by the teacher's comments. A ripple of giggles went around the class at Edward's response. Mr Varner added quickly, his tone evermore impatient.

"Enough. Mr Cullen, kindly sit down and do your work."

"Why of course sir." The innocence thick in his musical voice. I didn't hear his approach, which was why I jumped ever so slightly when he drew the chair out next to mine.

"Hello, Lucie." he whispered, and I gave up. Lifting my head, making sure my hair obscured a lot of my face, and soon to be blush, I looked up. He was the same as always, his eyes a burning golden, his hair bronze and tousled, but still, I couldn't help noticing the difference in him.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I managed to ask when I'd regained the ability to talk, quoting him from earlier. He didn't avert his gaze from mine, and again, I saw something in his eyes. Was is it remorse? Guilt? And if so, what for? I had too many questions in my head, I didn't realise he hadn't answered. He gave me a rueful smile, before inclining his head towards my work.

"Finished I presume?" he asked, starting to write himself.

"Surprised?" I questioned, I couldn't help talking to him. Ignoring him was impossible, whereas speaking was instinctive.

"Funnily enough, no." he replied in a dry tone. His work was practically complete, his hand writing far neater than my own. Was it a vampire trait? Could all vampires write so neatly, especially male ones? But again, my mind was full of trivial, pointless questions. I hadn't replied, I was now staring down at my own handwriting, suddenly ashamed by its messiness.

Abruptly, I felt his breath as he leaned over me, examine my drawing I'd done previously. I'd forgotten it was there. I looked up, scared, he couldn't know what it was, if he did, all would be chaos. But his eyes remained impassive, like before, still tinged with guilt. I couldn't take much more, his face, normally so alive with emotion, almost looked dead.

"Edward, please, what's wrong?" My voice trembled slightly, and at this Edward seemed to realise something, it only took him a moment to reply.

"I'm sorry Lucie, about earlier." he looked down, his shoulders hunched in a rueful stance, his eyes cast downwards. Sorry?

"Why?" I asked, not being able to utter another word as he looked up, his gaze once more hitting my eyes, preventing me from looking anywhere else.

"I heard about you f-" I stopped him, knowing what he was getting at. Sympathy. Stupid sympathy, for me being hurt. Sympathy I didn't need or deserve.

"Edward, don't worry, and please don't go on about it, I'm getting sick of people asking if I have a terminal illness." I said, and luckily his eyes had lost most of the initial guilt, now replaced by humour,

"Terminal illness?" he questioned, amused, his eyebrow, just _one _of them rising, I forgot his question and stared stubbornly at it. Why couldn't _I _do that! His chuckle made me realise I hadn't answered his question, I felt my face redden, but again, I forgot to stop looking at the perfectly arched eyebrow.

"Lucie? Erm- do you mind telling me why your looking at my eyebrow?" he asked, again his voice amused. I couldn't stop the blush now, I looked down furiously at my finished work, glad for the waterfall of blonde hair that protected his eyes from my now red face.

"Nothing, I've just always wanted to that, eyebrow thing…" I muttered, mainly to myself, Edward's laughter broke the silence.

"Sorry, I'll stop doing it, if it annoys you?"

"Please." I said, unable to prevent my small smile.

"You still didn't answer my question." Edward mused, I could feel his gaze on me, even though I couldn't see him. I decided to reply. This at least, was a conversation that avoided anything regarding Bella, that had to be good.

"Which one?" I asked, hoping it was the latter of the two.

"The one regarding you fainting." He said, all amusement gone from his voice. He _was _worried about me. So why did I now feel worse because of it? "Look Lucie, I know you don't want to hear this, but I _am _sorry. Alice needed me, I had to go to her," Lie. I thought to myself, you saw me fall. "If I hadn't gone, none of that would have happened."

Correction: if you had been there, either Mike would have probably had a worse accident, or the same would have happened, causing you to be in immense pain as you tried to stop drinking the blood that poured out of my arm. I thought silently. I was right though, Edward had only left to stop himself hurting me. I felt so naïve and ignorant for thinking so trivially about him not saving me. He had done what was best, no-one could deny that.

"So yes, I'm sorry Lucie, also, you sure your okay now, I mean, Alice would be more than happy to-" I cut across him at this, having just realised why he had left me previously. It made me happy to think he didn't hate me, again though, his voice was sincere. Too sincere. A sincerity that Bella would surely disapprove of. No, I couldn't think of her now.

"Edward, we both know that been looked after by Alice would be far more painful than surviving a day at school." I said, finally looking up. Relived that the pain and guilt had left his bottomless eyes. Though this was a but distracting, now-without him looking sad- my eyes stayed put, unwilling to move from his beauty.

"True." Edward muttered, he looked up at the time, and was it just me, or did he look sad about it? He began packing up his bags, and, as if on cue, the bell rang, signifying lunch. The thought of lunch made me feel sick. And that was not due to the prospect of food. I didn't want to go to lunch because there I would not only be confronted by Jessica and Lauren, who were sure to torment me in the extreme. But also, the Cullens would sit across the hall from me, not knowing how much of me desired to sit with them. A desire that would never, _could _never be revealed, not without disastrous consequences. Consequences, that I would not allow to happen. I just had to keep the truth safe, at all costs.

As I walked across the cafeteria I felt my heart sink slightly. Angela was not at our usual table, she was evidently doing extra work in the library, I sighed sadly, thinking of where to sit. Anywhere was better than the table with Angela and Jessica.

However, as I made to sit down, I heard a voice behind me.

There was no mistaking _that _voice.

"Lucie?" Edward's voice asked, I turned quickly, half tripping in doing so. Edward caught me, steadying me again.

"Thanks." I mumbled, unsure of why he'd called my name. he just smiled like he'd done in Physics, as if catching people tripping was a day-to-day-occurrence. But, then again, he was with Bella. The thought of her made me whip my head round anxiously, but once again, my thoughts were cut off short.

" Lucie, do you want to eat lunch with me today?" He asked fluidly, his voice, ever polite. I didn't know what to say. What? Eat lunch with me? Why? Bella rose to my mind again, and in response my eyes flashed to the Cullen's normal table. Edward chuckled slightly at me and added in response to my un-asked question. "My family have gone out, something to do with Alice and her emergency shopping trips." he muttered amused. "It appears not even school can get in between Alice and her shopping."

"Now why does that not surprise me?" I muttered to myself, but Edward laughed all the same.

"Shall we?" he asked, inclining his head towards the lunch queue, I'd forgotten that we were still standing in the middle of the cafeteria. I mumbled a 'yes.' and we reached the busy queue. I hesitated, I had no money on me. Normally I skipped lunch, food was only something I ate to stop people getting worried, I wasn't normally very hungry.

Edward noticed my abrupt stop and looked down at me, his left eyebrow raising questionably. I scowled at him in response to his 'eyebrow-skills-that-I-didn't-possess' and he grinned and raised the other. Then I was reminded about my problem.

"I'm not hungry." I blurted out, but my stomach betrayed me, I felt myself go red at the sound, but Edward merely shook his head before saying lightly.

"You really are a terrible liar Lucie." he started piling food onto a tray, and it was then that I remembered he didn't eat.

"Edward, _stop_; that's loads." I muttered, he just sighed slightly and paid for the food, I made a mental note to give him money tomorrow. We sat down at his usual spot, and I felt oddly uncomfortable. This was Bella's seat, not my own. I picked up a pear curiously, I actually didn't feel hungry- despite what my annoying stomach sounded like.

Suddenly, I was aware of Edward's eyes on me, I looked up, inquisitive to find him staring at me.

"Lucie, have you ever really seen your eyes closely." He asked. Was he talking about them again? I mean, I already hated my eyes, but I didn't need to be reminded of them again. He saw my face, and just like before, rushed to explain. "It's not a bad thing Lucie, it's a compliment, they're stunning; and have so many different colours."

Had he really just referred to my eyes as _stunning_? I felt silly not talking, and so tried to add something to the conversation- even if the topic was my eyes.

"Thanks, I don't like them personally, my pupils are always dilated for some reason as well, I'm not sure why." I had no idea why I'd just told him this. Everything just seemed so natural around him, I couldn't help telling him my secrets. I had to be more careful.

Nevertheless, he looked surprised at this news, and peered deeply into my eyes again, I felt my self blush. I really wish he'd quit the whole staring thing, with him around I was almost always constantly red in the face, not that I objected to his company.

"_Belladonna_" he whispered. What? Bella?

"Nope, I'm Lucie…" I mumbled, embarrassed. He chuckled slightly and shook his head.

"Not Bella, _Belladonna_, it's a drug from a plant." he stated coolly, leaning back on his chair.

"Right." I said, utterly bemused, a drug from a plant, wow, fascinating…

Edward saw my expression and smiled, before continuing.

"It's the Italian for deadly nightshade, and-" but I cut him off, so that's what he meant, I knew what deadly nightshade was, it was the small purple flower that held the drug, which I now knew was called: Belladonna. This was used long ago to make young lady's eyes diluted, as apparently it made them look more beautiful. They were my mother's words. She had told me that.

"Yeah, I know what that is, I get it now." I said smiling, Edward smiled back, and then stared pointedly back at me, his face scrutinising.

"Your not eating." he stated.

"I know, I'm not hungry." I countered.

"You need to eat." he stated again, his eyes told me I was not going to win the argument. I disagreed.

"As do you." I said smiling, well aware of his diet. He grimaced at this, yet there was no defeat in his eyes.

"Eat Lucie." he said, and I complied, I did feel a little bit more hungry now, I set aside the pair and bit into a chicken sandwich that he had bought, ok, I was quite hungry after all.

Lunch passed quickly with Edward, he talked politely the whole way through, I even laughed at one point, something I hadn't done properly in a long time. Edward kept asking me questions; which I answered as truthfully as I could. I empathised with him, I mean, not being able to hear people's minds…it frustrates me too.

***

After lunch the day passed reasonably easily. Whether that was due to Edward, or Bella's

disappearance I did not know. I found myself bored mainly, throughout the rest of the day. My distractions had run out, and by time it was fifth lesson, I was glad the day was drawing to a close.

I walked into Art with a submissive mind, I knew I would give in to anything if people asked me to do something. I walked to the table to where I worked, paired with Angela. This work was an assessed piece, and so the whole class remained silent. I was glad for this. I wasn't really in the mood for communicating with people. Or, for that matter, assuring people that I was _okay_, for umpteenth time.

I found my painting where I'd left it. Behind the green lockers, unseen. Picking it up and taking it back to my spot, I steadily started to continue the picture, but I couldn't ignore the nagging sensation on my mind.

It's not right.

My mind was correct, as I looked at my painting of the meadow with Edward, I realised that it wasn't right at all. The meadow in my painting looked far too dull in comparison to the real thing, I simply could not ignore this factor. I was scowling down at the picture and felt Miss Taft- the Art teacher- behind me, breathing down my neck. For the second time, I was glad it was a test. Her talk really was strenuous on the ears.

I did _try _to draw him, his smooth lines and pale features, as much as I _tried _to draw the meadow. But I couldn't, not with knowing what it really looked like. It just looked too pathetic to even improve on. And again, there was that terrible emotion inside me, mounting with each look I took at the picture. Desire. I fought it down, it could not re-surface again. _Remember what happened last time_. I thought. Yes, It definitely could not rise again. Last time I'd run to the meadow in the middle of the night, reached it and then ran back again. I didn't know what happened clearly, the event still felt hazy in my mind. Like a dream.

But I decided something as I got into my car. The desire had not subsided, and it was burning me, I needed to get to the meadow. I didn't take the normal route back, I swerved quickly on the road, and stopped outside the forest, to where my destination lay. Dropping my school bag on my seat and just grabbing a sketchpad and pencil, I opened the door, the desire once again fuelling me, spurring me forward.

I Ran to the meadow, I had to get there, my head hurt, I needed to feel free once more. To empty my thoughts. My sketch pad, tucked firmly under my arm. This would be the only place where I could finally unwind, my feelings expressed through drawing, ridding my body of a mixture between guilt, self loathing, sadness, and of course: the terrible desire.

Most of the snow had thawed, I noted, as I ran through the dense forest. Yet there were still patches left untouched, standing out brightly amongst the thick green. A mist hung low on the air, I slowed down to a walk, a stitch forming in my side. My tracks from the morning had vanished along with the snow, and I was both grateful and worried because of this. Grateful because no-one would know of my visits to the place. Worried, in case I couldn't find it again.

But somehow, I knew the way. It was not like before, when my limbs had moved without my will, pulling me along. No, now I had complete control, and yet, it was as if I was being pulled towards the place. Lured, something in me just knew I was going the right way. After all, I couldn't get too lost, in theory I'd been to this place many times. Albeit through Bella's memories, but that still counted, didn't it? The only problem was, I couldn't tell If I was making any progress. All the trees were identical, along with the dense undergrowth beneath them. The moss was still damp beneath my feet, my new shoes Alice had bought me were now coated in mud. Ah well, no doubt Alice would soon find another for me, in fact, she would relish the opportunity, I sighed slightly at the thought of this weekend, to which I had promised Alice yet anothershopping trip. _That_, would be interesting (if you liked to be tortured…)

I was close now; I could tell. I saw a light ahead, and I knew I was near, next second, I was through into the clearing, into the meadow. It was beautiful, exquisitely positioned, hidden away in the forest, with a ray of light shining down, illuminating the place. Snow still lay quite thick at the bottom of the trees surrounding the place, whereas only a thin blanket dusted the grass. The mist around me lifted in quick lithe ribbons, dancing around the meadow. I simply could not bare to ruin its perfection, but I needed to draw, I had to express my feelings. So I carefully walked around the clearing, to a small spot, it was a patch of untouched grass, a little way from the meadow, the perfect place to see and yet not be seen. Here I could stay unnoticed and safe.

I lowered the sketch pad slowly to my lap as I took out my pencil placed it on the paper and began to draw.

I forgot all else around me; the birds' song was silenced, along with the flow of the river, all I could concentrate on was the drawing, steadily devouring me into its perfect world. My hand was moving slowly, elegantly. The only time I could ever be considered as elegant was when I drew, the way my hand moved, swiftly drawing swirls and curves. It was the only time I could unwind, be free.

My picture was of the meadow, I simply could not ignore it's presence. However It was different from the one I had drawn in Art, brighter, and more complete. Yet just as complex and enthralling. As I drew the person on my mind, the desire to see him gripped me, but I ignored it, completely away in my small unspoiled world. Time passed, yet I felt no change.

Edward's figure stood out, lean and powerful; showing grace even without movement. Steadily I drew the smooth outlines of his shoulders; the hard line of his mouth framed by full lips; the incongruously sincerity of his eyes and the knowledge behind them.

I was so engrossed, so encapsulated within the picture, near to completion, that when a movement flashed in my peripheral vision- at first I did not react, my brain not registering the disturbance. That was until I heard the voice.

"We're here." it shattered the silence, leaving me paralysed where I sat, the note pad, with my drawing of the person who had just spoken, fell to the floor.

I looked towards the voice and sure enough, there in the centre of the meadow was Edward, Bella clinging to his lean body, holding onto his back. Edward swivelled around so quickly-a move he would never do in public due to the inhuman speed- and faced Bella, his eyes full of contentment. He gently placed her on the snow-lined earth and pulled her towards him, cupping her face in his hands. For a long moment they just stood there, staring into each other's eyes, both gazes intensely filled with passion. The love made me feel sick, I couldn't move, terrified the slightest sound would give away my position.

"At last." breathed Bella, stroking Edward's face, he shivered slightly at her warm touch and she smiled. Then she sighed, and Edward's face changed into worry, "Today was long." she stated, at this Edward's face eased up. He began playing with one of her auburn strands of hair, I could notice small red streaks with the light shining down.

"I know what you mean." Edward whispered, gently lowering her to the floor, she crawled into his lap, her face troubled. "Bella, love? What's wrong?" again, the worry was evident through his melodic voice, he couldn't stand to see her in pain. Bella's face did not change, she seemed to be deciding something, her expression remaining unsettled. She did not attempt to change it.

"It's, well…" Bella trailed off, and I saw the look in her chocolate brown eyes. Doubt. I knew exactly why Bella's face was troubled, her feelings were portrayed too easily. Edward did not interrupt or cut across her however, merely waited patiently for an answer, his arms tightening around her body, protectively. "To tell you the truth, I'm worried about the exams." Bella grimaced, and I scowled in the concealment of bushes, to which I was situated. She was lying. I knew exactly why she'd just grimaced, why her expression was troubled. She was in love with two people; each ready to kill the other; neither knowing that their love's heart was shared between them. Bella was in love with Jacob. She could not live without him, just as much as she could not live without Edward. She couldn't choose between them; between fire and ice.

But Edward misunderstood the grimace, he lapped up the lie.

"Don't worry Bella, my love, I can help you study for it, we can stay up all night if that's what you want." He crooned her, as she placed her head to his chest a smile on her lips.

"Thank you Edward." she murmured into his chest-listening to the non beating heart- she was speaking so quietly yet I could still hear, my every sense had intensified since his voice had spoken. And then Edward prised her small face from his chest, looked down at her through his golden eyes and whispered into her ear.

"My pleasure."

Bella looked at him, then folded her arms around his neck as her lips met his. His hands knotted in her hair as Bella rolled on top of him, after several long moments- moments in which I was holding my breath, scared that it alone would penetrate the silence. Edward broke apart, smiling affectionately as he saw Bella's scowl of disapproval.

"I wasn't quite finished." Muttered Bella, still staring at him.

"Nor I." said Edward smiling crookedly. If I were Bella, my breathing would have stopped completely. But I was not. Bella pouted slightly as Edward murmured to her, his voice melodic, perfect. "Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again." he quoted Shakespeare, as Bella snorted delicately, once they were finished, Bella said something roughly, out of breath.

"You kiss by th'book." She said lightly as she smiled, spreading a grin onto Edward's perfect face. She lay against him, hugging him closely, and once more he cradled her, as if she were to break any moment. Talking fluidly his musical voice, so soothing and filled with the uttermost love.

"Bella, you are the only person who has ever touched my heart, I have only loved you. I shall never cease to, you are my one and only love, I shall love you for eternity." Bella didn't respond, merely sighing against his muscular chest. Leaving a silence. She, I knew, could not say the same for him. She loved another. The werewolf: Jacob Black, she loved him as much as Edward.

And in that instant it was all too much. My rage at Bella for not loving Edward as much as he deserved, rose up inside me like a turbulent black wave, ready to stop all in its path. But It was mingled with my own heartbreak. I couldn't help it. As it was no anger flew out of me, only my sadness was portrayed.

A single tear escaped, and ran down my cheek.

It fell down and hit a dry leaf on the earth, where several more followed suit.

And that was all it took.

Edward's and Bella's heads both turned to my direction. Bella saw the dense thicket to which I was behind. But Edward, he looked straight at me. Examining my face, his own of utter disbelief. Bella looked from Edward to where I was, she still hadn't seen me.

"Edward, what is it!" she said audibly, too loud, I thought, for the quietness of the meadow. Edward didn't respond, he just kept staring at me, I couldn't move. It was as if iron anchors were firmly holding me where I sat, unable to escape, leaving me terrified.

Suddenly Bella stood up, and marched towards where I was, Edward made a movement to stop her, but Bella brushed his hand away impatiently, where it swayed at his side. She was pushing through the ferns now, ever closer. Then she moved away the last branch and stared at me.

Her face flickered through a dozen emotions, from: shock; to disbelief like Edward's; to hatred and then it settled on pure and utter loathing.

"You!" she spat, her teeth clenched, snarling. Edward still hadn't composed his features, he stood still in the clearing of the meadow, his face distant, as if trying to remember. But my eyes could not be averted from Bella's now livid ones, I couldn't reply, I'd forgotten how to move my lips.

"Were. You. _Spying _on us?!" Bella said, her voice deadly, filled with angst and spite. I managed to choke out one word, stuttering, scared for myself, despite the fact that Bella was probably weaker than myself.

_What if they leave? _The thought echoed in my head.

"N-no!" I was still sitting there, suddenly I remembered my drawing of Edward, the shape of his lean figure, my eyes betrayed me, flickering slightly to the discarded sketchpad, now in a pile of thawing snow. Bella's gaze followed my own.

She snatched it up, I couldn't even attempt to stop her, if felt like my arms were lead weights at my side.

As soon as Bella retrieved the sketchpad, her eyes seemed to darken in vehemence as she scanned the drawing, of the perfect vampire standing behind her, who _still _hadn't moved.

"Liar." she whispered, deadly softly. It was the sound of bottle opening, ready to unleash its contents, which were, in Bella's case, full of wrath. Her hands shook slightly as she continued staring at the picture. Then she looked from my eyes to Edward's figure and back again before letting out a low sound, close to a growl.

I stood up, aware of how vulnerable I felt sitting pathetically on the floor. The moment I was on my feet Bella shrieked at me, sending the sketchpad flying to where Edward stood, still frozen.

"You _drew _him!" she hissed, furiously, whilst I just stood there. My mind screaming at me.

_What have you done?_

"First you _stalk _him, then you _spy _on him and now you _draw _him?!" She continued to snarl at me, her face contorted in rage. "Can't you _remember _what I even told you?" she was still spitting at me, the anger radiating off her in waves. My head felt dizzy again, and I hoped to god I wouldn't faint. Still, I realised, she was screaming at me. I tried to concentrate on her words however harsh they might be. "You FREAK!" I felt like I should say something. Bella's face was red from screaming at me, she was out of breath.

But then again, so was I.

"I-I, no, I didn't-" but her words had struck home. Yes, Bella was the only real one who saw me for what I really was: a freak. She cut across me again, still trembling in anger.

"Stay away from _my _family." she accented the 'my', showing possession, telling me that I was no part in it.

I tried to reply again, but the words got stuck in my mouth, my tongue seemed to have curled in on itself, preventing speech, I was finding it hard to even breathe, I was reminded suddenly that my head felt dizzy again.

Bella took one last glare at me, one of disgust and hatred before she let her anger out.

She slapped me. Fully across the cheek, her nails piercing my skin.

And I, reacted instinctively, just like my mother had done, all those years ago.

I punched Bella, straight in the face.

After that, every thing was pressed onto high speed. I looked at my hand in horror, not believing what I'd just done, Bella had regained her balance and stood there staring at me, her face white. And then I turned. I saw him.

Edward seemed to have broken out of his stupor, he was staring at me. White fury burning through his golden eyes. Fire. His eyes darted from me to Bella-still cradling her head in her arms- before resting back on me. His gaze was unmistakeable: utter rage.

The next happened, in less than a heartbeat.

I saw Edward hurtle himself towards me.

I felt myself flying through the air, whipping my hair out of my face.

And then the absolute agony hit.

I collided with a tree trunk, I heard it snap in half.

I slumped against it, hitting the hard earth.

I felt my vision swim before me. Bella was staring at me; her anger had vanished, replaced by fear. Edward was looking at me; his eyes still golden, a look of immense shock and pain on his face. He stared at my side, and I followed his gaze.

My side was coated in blood, the smell made my head swim; rust, salt, iron.

My eyes drifted to the ground below me, as my head lolled to the side, I saw the white snow at my feet, steadily becoming stained with crimson. My blood oozed into the snow. I couldn't breathe, the impact had knocked all breath out of me, all but one. I used it, staring straight into his face, forgetting all else.

"Edward." I choked.

Then: darkness.

** . . . .**

**Dun dun dunnnnn!!!!**

**Yeah, so what do you think?**

**Personally, I liked that one, I had a dream about the bit in the meadow, I was Lucie in the dream.(I have weird sleeping things; sleep talking, walking, you know) It was so vivid I woke up, my back was arched, and my muscles still tensed, like I'd just hit a tree. I was convinced I had blood around me. Yeah, scary…**

**But what did YOU think? Please review, I need the reviews, this one was hard to write, even though I knew so much about it. And it's nice and long, so please review, PLEASE!**

**Please, Por favor, ****S'il vous plaît, Bitte, Merker-bani seh, Gjörð svo vel að!**

**(look at all those different pleases, you've got to review now, the last ones Icelandic!)**

**So yeah: please REVIEW!**

**Lily- who made a very interesting combination yesterday, blueberry and chocolate chip muffins, to those who have not tired this, I recommend it, the result is simply sublime!**

**(you could all have a cyber one, if you review?)**


	11. The Tipping Point

**128 REVIEWS! Actually, I think I need to repeat that, it still hasn't sunken in yet. 128 reviews! YAY!**

**Thanks SO much to my glorious reviewers (all of you have earned a cyber muffin!) and can I just say this before I forget; Char's comment on MUFASA was hilarious, though I'm not sure if was intended to be. I still keep giggling.**

**Thanks to EVERY single reviewer! We are officially in TRIPLE figures, I mean wow!**

**Please review this chapter! You've done such a great job so far!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…-though I swear I came up with the plot first! I'm sure I did *falls on ground and hits head for the 5****th**** time* Honest! Albeit in a dream… but all dreams are true, right?**

**Aquí!**

**What happened last chapter:**

I felt my vision swim before me. Bella was staring at me; her anger had vanished, replaced by fear. Edward was looking at me; his eyes still golden, a look of immense shock and pain on his face. He stared at my side, and I followed his gaze.

My side was coated in blood, the smell made my head swim; rust, salt, iron.

My eyes drifted to the ground below me, as my head lolled to the side, I saw the white snow at my feet, steadily becoming stained with crimson. My blood oozed into the snow. I couldn't breathe, the impact had knocked all breath out of me, all but one. I used it, staring straight into his face, forgetting all else.

"Edward." I choked.

Then: darkness.

**The Tipping Point**

Carefully, I opened my eyes. I saw a white light a head of me, blinding and incandescent, then shone two golden suns, moving above me. My sight cleared slightly and I could see the suns more plainly, they stopped the obliterating darkness, I felt oddly warmed by their presence. They were becoming more refined now. How odd it was that they were so deep and why could I see two black dots in the middle of them?

Distantly I heard voices, muffled and hazy, the suns were still above me though, but the black dots within them really were a mystery…

I closed my eyes, I felt so comfortable here, utter oblivion, it was strangely comforting, I welcomed the cool darkness, let it embrace me, though part of me was still vaguely curious. What was happening?

I could almost hear now, murmurs passed quickly, a high pitched tinkling reached her ears, it sounded oddly familiar.

"Carlisle, she opened her eyes!"

"Alice, stay back, she's bleeding profusely."

What were these voices, and why did they sound so afraid. Everything was so blissful, what was that about bleeding?

"I can't leave her, she keeps drifting in and out-"

"Alice, if you do not let me treat her now, her condition will remain critical."

A pause. What was this? The names rang a small bell in my mind, but still all was so distant, I just wanted to fall asleep, to let the waves pull me under…

"Is she awake?"

"Her eyes were open, she's closed them again now, but she can't see yet, I predict in about 56 seconds she'll wake up completely.

"Then we must move her, she'll be traumatised if she stays here."

"There's no time!"

"Alice, you won't be able to control yourself-"

But I didn't hear the end of the sentence.

Because it was at that precise moment that the complete and utter intolerable pain hit.

I felt my whole body starting to convulse, I began to shake, the paroxysm of despair erupted out of me. I could not breathe. I could not move.

I could not even scream.

"CARLSILE!" I heard the shriek, but my mind could not format the voice. _Everything _hurt, I felt the pain hold me where I lay, I writhed unable to even think properly. My head pounded, I felt dizzy once more, but something in my mind screamed at me, and I held onto the thought, wondering if it was the last one I had left.

_Stay awake!_

With an immense effort I opened my eyes.

And abruptly wished I had kept them closed.

I was lying down, snow was around me, though it was not white like it should be, all of it was a burning crimson, and with a shock I realised what it was. Blood. My blood. My head pounded again but I fought the pain, I had to understand what was happening, before it was too late.

Then, I remembered.

The meadow. Bella slapping me. Edward hitting me. Crashing into a tree. I looked up into the golden eyes of Alice, she was staring at me, her face was unrecognisable. She was still gloriously beautiful, but her face seemed contorted, mixed between vast pain and horror. I noticed how she was a few meters away from me, and her hands were clawing the earth, as she were trying to prevent from running at me.

But of course. Blood.

I felt so stupid, I was lying covered in blood in a meadow, with Alice trying not to kill me, the pain stabbed against my side again; I could not bare to look at the damage, knowing that it alone would surely send me over the edge. I still felt unable to breathe, but I had to speak it was essential. And once again I choked out the only thing still embedded in my mind.

"Edward."

At the thought of him I felt faint. He hated me for what I'd done to Bella, hated every fibre of my pathetic self. I couldn't prevent the tears that fell, and these were not from pain.

Though the next ones were.

I writhed again, and red spots appeared in front of my vision, blocking out all else. An excruciating scream ripped through me, I gasped for air and felt horrified when none came, my head felt empty, as my thoughts became incoherent.

I felt cool arms embrace me. And a sensation of lift arose to my thoughts. I heard Alice's still shrill voice, but again it was distant, getting quieter by every syllable.

"Run Carlisle, save her!" Save who? Was my thought, I was long gone, death must be near, the pain proved that much. Dimly I thought how fleeting my life had been and wondered why I was not having an epiphany. Weren't you meant to see your life flash before your eyes when you were about to die? I just saw darkness, and it held me, in an iron grasp, unwilling to let go.

And then, I was flying.

***

With a gasp I opened my eyes.

The first thing I noticed was the absence of pain.

The second thing I noticed was the soft surface beneath me.

And the third thing I noticed was that I was not alone.

As I sat up, I felt eyes watching me, even though I couldn't see them, I could feel their presence. My sight cleared once more and I stared around the room in which I was situated, in wonder. Moonlight was streaming though the wall of glass ahead of me, it filled the room, which was vast in size. As I stared, my eyes wide with awe, I saw someone shift in the corner.

"Lucie?" I snapped my head round at the voice, my head hurt in doing so, I felt faint at the sudden movement, but I forced my weary eyes to stay open, I looked towards the doorway. There was Alice, her small petite frame and moonlight skin. Where was I? I tried to talk back, ask her where I was, but I couldn't, I felt so weak.

"Lucie, are you alright?" Alice asked again, she was perching on the edge of wherever I was lying now, her hand out stretched to comfort me.

The blood.

"Alice!" I rasped, my throat felt like sand paper, dry and coarse. "Alice, no, I'm bleeding!" Alice looked at me, stunned. She composed her features again, and with a twang I realised what I'd just done.

_Alice doesn't know you know she's a vampire._

But Alice was still looking at me with concern, not hatred or anger, nor did she look like she was about to flee. Did she not just hear what I said?

"Not any more Lucie." she said smiling kindly, I looked down, and sure enough, she was correct, I still lay in the same clothes, but they were free of blood, al except a dark stain in my side, I tired to sit up, but winced. The pain like fire had gone, it was now replaced by a dull ache.

I stared once more into Alice's eyes, they were darker then when I'd remembered them, a dark shade close to topaz, ochre. When I stared at her though, I remembered everything, and the memory hit me hard.

"Alice?" I managed to whisper, glad that my throat no longer felt hoarse, "Alice, what happened?"

She didn't reply at first, merely looked at me, her face scrutinising and evidently assessing me, she didn't look like she was going to answer the question and instead asked one of her own.

"Lucie, how much do you know." she asked, looking straight at me.

_Everything._

I continued to look confused, I didn't know what I should say, part of me was dying to tell Alice, so considerate and pure, but the over half of me rebelled. And the latter had a stronger argument, one that I could not possibly afford to loose.

_What if they leave?_

Alice misread my confusion- she assumed it was towards the question.

"Sorry, I didn't phrase that very well- Lucie, what do you know about us." Her voice was odd, not tinkling like normal, no longer like wind chimes. No, it was filled with a mixture between concern, and seriousness. her question terrified me, I still wasn't sure where I was, though I guessed I was at the alleged Cullen house. But I realised then that Alice could see the future, she would find out eventually. I couldn't keep all my secrets safe. So that was why I decided to tell her the truth; or at least, as much as I could tell her. I would just have to face the consequences when they arrived. With a strength I didn't know I possessed, I sat up. Staring into both of Alice's ochre eyes, which before I thought were two suns. I needed to tell her, she needed to know. I just hoped she wouldn't do what I feared. I rushed through my sentence, not fully deciding on whether I should say it or not.

"Alice, I know you're a vampire, along with most of your family. I know you can see the future and Edward can read minds, Jasper likewise had a gift as he can manipulate emotions. I know your family are not bad, you feed on animal blood, rather than humans, you don't wish to intentionally hurt any one. I-" But Alice cut me off. Oh no, had I gone to far? Was this it? Would they leave?

I was confused when I looked back at Alice though. She did not look shock, or scared or ready to run, or anything else I would've suspected or feared. No, she was looking at me _very _strangely. It was an emotion half way behind joy and, could it be _pride_?

"That's enough Lucie!" but her tone was not harsh, on the contrary, now it was back to it's normal bird chirpy self, once again sounding like wind chimes, "Thanks, you've exceeded your self!" and with that she turned lithely on her heels, spinning round to face the door, a move, I noted, that only one with immense grace could perform. That and vampire strength. "Carlisle." She sang, and to my surprise Carlisle walked in the room, smiling at me.

What the hell was going on?

"Lucie, I think we need to explain this to you." _You got that right,_ it was Carlisle talking now, I had never seen him before personally, but I had through Bella's mind, he was just like the rest of the Cullens, gloriously beautiful and young, yet his eyes were more gold, when compared to Alice's ochre ones.

"Please do." I said, sitting up, realising I had a soft blanket around me, I didn't want to use it. It would prove I was weak. But I felt cold, so gingerly I wrapped it subtly around me. Carlisle examined me critically, with a medical eye, eventually I got fed up of them just _staring_. "Look, I'm really fine, I feel perfect and I'm just worried about what happened, is Bella okay? I feel horrid, I re-"

"Lucie! Do you even remember what happened?" it was Alice who spoke, looking at me in shock.

"What?" I asked, confused and hurt by the look on Alice's face, of course, they all loved Bella, I had punched her. I knew they could do nothing more than hate me. I was going to continue but Carlisle spoke, his voice was unnaturally calm for the situation.

"Lucie, I think Alice is just a little shocked. I'm glad you're feeling better, though I doubt you feel fine, I need to ask you this before I go on though, else what I say may remain unclear to you." I just nodded, he continued "Lucie, what do you remember happened in the meadow, who did you see? Why were you there?" My stomach clenched uncomfortably at the last question. I could not tell him why I was there, or at least, I could not tell him the truth.

But I told him all I could remember.

By the time I'd finished Alice still looked shocked whereas Carlisle just shook his head sadly.

"And I feel so rotten, I never realised what harm I could have done to Bella or-" I rushed to finished, sensing an interruption from Alice, I was not mistaken.

"Please Lucie," said Alice, "stop blaming yourself, none of this is your fault."

How wrong she was.

Carlisle was nodding in agreement to Alice's comment, and he continued on talking with a serious look in his eyes.

"Lucie, we feel so sorry what happened, and we should be the ones apologising-"

"You mean Edward should." Alice cut in, as dark undertone. However Carlisle ignored this comment and carried on, I really was getting sick of the look in his eyes. There was too much sympathy again and concern. They didn't realise that all of this was my fault, but I knew I wasn't going to change their views on things. Yeah, I'll admit, I _did _look like a bit of a victim. I supposed it was _me _who was slammed into a tree by an incredibly strong vampire; then it was me who started bleeding; then blacked out; and finally woke up in a house surrounded by vampires. Whoa, hefty list… But still, I've had worse.

"What you need to understand is we honour you for being so honest, as you know, our family are vampires, and you are quite correct regarding our diet. We only drink animal blood, not humans." They both looked at me then, with a very odd look.

"Lucie, generally, this is the moment in which you start screaming." Alice said smiling, dry amusement in her voice, yet I could not return the gesture.. I knew I should. Everyone should when confronting a vampire. But the fact was I couldn't, just like Bella. They were not evil, and so there was no need to be afraid.

"But I trust you." I said simply, and this was not a lie.

"Lucie, how can you say that when you're still recovering from being hit by one of us?" It was Carlisle who spoke now, and I saw that he needed to know why I felt this way. Alice had probably already foreseen this moment, but Carlisle was full of curiosity. I had to tell them all, I would be the one to bring the subject up.

I removed the blanket from around me now longer cold.

"Because," I said ignoring the pain when I moved slightly, "All of that was my fault." Again there was a silence. Bleakly I wondered where the rest of them were, Jasper I supposed would find it hard around me, what with recently bleeding, and still smelling of blood. But what about Emmett? Esme? Rosalie? Edward… I mentally choked on the last name, he would never want to see me again. That much, was for certain.

I knew the two beside me would once again try to convince me it was not I to blame, they started talking quickly, Alice's voice high and soothing, whilst Carlisle's was low and still serious. I looked at them when talking, but did not listen. Eventually I sighed and they stopped, looking at me in concern. Afraid I was I pain no doubt. And I was; though it was not physical. Dimly I knew; it had to be now.

"I think it's time I told you about my gift."

***

After I was finished there was a stunned silence.

Carlisle looked at me in wonder. He had asked me many questions throughout my explanation (most regarding my 'control' over it,) but now he seemed at a loss for words.

_He's never heard of such a freak_. My mind thought bitterly, filling me once more with self loathing, I ignored it, and tried to concentrate once more on the present. Alice's face was different from his, she was beaming at me, a triumphant look in her eyes. It was her to speak first.

"I knew it!" she squealed happily at me, and suddenly gripped me in a swift embrace. I did not ask her what she knew, only hoped it wasn't too much. I hoped they wouldn't notice the one flaw in my explanation. I told them I saw people's past; their every memory; thought and emotion. I explained to them that's how I knew so much about them, but I did not tell them whose past I'd seen.

For in revealing that. Bella would know.

I felt a cold sweat prick my forehead, terrified they were going to ask, Carlisle still hadn't moved, his eyes were distant, thinking, I knew that if they asked me; I could not lie convincingly. My eyes would betray me, and this family had a tendency not to miss too much. Did vampires even blink?

But thankfully Alice stopped my worried thoughts off short in her next sentence easing my mind, slightly.

"Carlisle, do you mind if I talk to Lucie for a moment." She asked, looking at Carlisle, he seemed to snap out of whatever he'd been thinking of and sprinted out the room, so fast it made my head spin.

_Get used to it._

Once Carlisle was safely gone Alice faced me again, still beaming. She only found this happy, she did not see the deadly consequences that could ruin everything; she was not plagued by guilt for what she'd done. I envied her. Once she saw my face though, hers fell and it hurt to see the worry creep back into her eyes.

"Alice?" I asked tentatively, "How long have you known, about well, me…" I trailed off, but she understood. Her expression remained worried though as she explained in her swift voice.

"Lucie, can you remember back then when I nearly fainted."

"Yes." I could remember that, the way Jasper had pulled her away from me, disgust and hatred filling his gaze, just like Edward's.

"Well I saw a vision, and it involved you." she said, I didn't reply so she continued. "It was hazy like many of my visions normally are. Usually, I don't see people in visions unless I've known them for a long time, but you, Lucie, you were the exception." I just stared at Alice, I'd suspected she'd seen me, but the news still came as a shock.

"Alice" I said, though by now it was only a whisper "What did you see?" She looked at me again and sighed, I took it as a bad sign. Had she seen me injured, hurt? Alice assessed my emotions before I even realised I portrayed them, and her voice was once again soothing, I knew my pulse had raised dramatically.

"It's nothing to worry about Lucie, like I said, it was hazy- and my visions aren't always accurate, they change according to people's decisions you know," I knew this already of course, but I kept my mouth shut. Saying that would only promote the question I feared the most, the one I had to avoid at all costs. Alice carried on talking, and once again, I fought with myself to concentrate on what she was saying. "but then I had my next one, and it was more vivid, it was the day you-"

"Fainted." I cut across her coolly, hoping she wouldn't notice how my pitch had risen. If she found out the real reason my whole plan would crumple. She didn't seem to, just nodded in acknowledgement before carrying on.

"Yeah, well that's when I saw you Lucie and it wasn't pretty." she grimaced apologetically, and some how, I managed to keep my face calm and composed, my features-for once-not letting me down. Whilst in my mind the memory screamed at me.

_I saw Alice's expression. That alone made me stand stock still in the road. Her eyes were vacant, expressionless, darting. A horrible wave of reminiscence washed over me. It was happening again._

_Edward's head snapped up, his gazed penetrated my own. His expression was beautiful, yet unmistakable. Pure horror._

"I saw you Lucie, lying on the floor, blood around you." she said, her face still seeking mine for signs of distress, I was grateful that none were presented. "I never realised the timing, or date, I couldn't see your surroundings, so I assumed it was about to happen there and then, and then well…" She trailed off.

"You saved me." I said, managing to force a small smile onto my lips, hoping it didn't look more like a grimace.

"Well, technically _Edward _saved you- though that doesn't excuse him to what he's done." She said darkly. It was nice to see how much Alice cared about me, but also horrid that she was mad about Edward because of it all.

"Please Alice, " I said, trying to block the pain that re-emerged whenever his name was mentioned. "please don't blame Edward for this." she looked as if she wanted to carry on, but my expression evidently made her decide otherwise. I must look really bad. "Alice, you can carry on." I encouraged when a silence fell between us, swiftly like a curtain being dropped.

"Then I had another vision," wow…she's had a lot of these… " with you in the car park-"

"Was that when you pulled me out of the car and demanded to see my face?" I asked out of curiosity. Alice nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, Jazz had gone home early, his appetite and all that," I couldn't help but cringe slightly, luckily Alice was to emerged in her tale to notice. "When all of a sudden, there you came. Pop. Into my head!" I smiled at her enthusiasm, her arms were waving wildly and I was sure to anyone else she looked like a crazy person. Nope, I thought to myself, just Alice.

The thought had distracted me, so I missed her next bit, and just heard the end.

"I saw you with a big long gash down your cheek, I thought it had just happened, so that's why I pulled you out like that. I never realised it would happen later on." she looked up at me sadly, as if she was ashamed of herself. I lifted my hand instinctively to my cheek, and gasped as I felt the gash there. Where Bella had slapped me.

"Oh." I sighed. I wondered how bad I looked, and then remembered the question I should have asked Alice long before now. "Alice, how did you and Carlisle find me? Get me here, what happened? There was all that blood-" Alice just shushed me in her quick voice.

"You're fine now Lucie, that's all that matters."

"How badly was I hurt?"

"Well, I won't be able to describe It as well as Carlisle would, but fine. Basically, Edward's impact on you sent you crashing into the tree, it hit your side, a branch was jutting out and you had fate's misfortune to land right on it. I saw of all of this of course, but by the time I'd reached you, it was too late. You were bleeding, and I couldn't do anything myself, what with being blood thirsty and all." she paused, expecting me, no doubt, to look horrified.

"Alice, you're going to have to try harder than that to get rid of me you know, surprisingly with what I've been through, I've got a rather strong stomach." I said with a weak smile, but instantly regretted it. Alice's faced looked concerned again, worried for my past.

"Okay then, well, as I said, I was too late, I saw Edward and Bella. Edward was having a hard time…_controlling _himself, so he ran to get Carlisle. Then we took you back here, there's no serious damage done, you'll just be a bit sore for a day or so." She said, and I got up. I hated sitting like this, it just made me feel even more pathetic then I already was. Alice made a gesture to try and push me back down again.

"No Alice, please, I just need to see myself. Human moment, can you tell me where a bathroom is?" I added, hoping not offend her in any way. She seemed to understand, and ran along a hall, I started to follow but I couldn't move very fast. I hoped Carlisle and his predictions about this only lasting a while were right. It felt like a had a throbbing stitch. Alice appeared in front of me again and smiled.

"Sorry, forgot you're a human." she said brightly as if it were a compliment, when in reality, the word _human _just meant naïve and weak, while _vampire _meant complex and strong. Yes okay, the latter drank blood, but still. Weak vs. strong. Naïve vs. complex. Hmm… I wonder which one is better?

She led me into a bathroom, it was far too large considering they would never need to use it. I grimaced slightly at the size, I just wanted to see a mirror. Though asking Alice that would have probably succumbed in getting a massive-gild-framed mirror. I shivered at the thought.

Alice had left the room and so I felt safe enough to look at myself, I took three shaky steps and looked straight forward into the sheet of reflective glass. I was there alright. Same pallid complexion, same long blonde hair, now matted and strewn across my face, held there by cold sweat and dried blood. Then was the red mark, drawn across my right cheek, it still burnt vaguely when I touched it, I suspected Carlisle had put some medicinal on it. I smiled at myself despite my appearance.

I'd under estimated Bella, she could fight after all.

Other than that however, I was fine. No damage was done really, I just looked like I'd tripped over and scratched my face a bit. It was a good cover story, I thought absentmindedly, most people knew I was clumsy enough for it to be true. I sighed.

More lies.

Carefully, I smoothed my hair down and washed my face, I felt instantly better after doing so. The soap felt soft and silky against my face, and it smelt wonderful.

It was odd. I never knew vampires had such good taste in soap.

I walked out, feeling slightly more refreshed and saw Alice standing there waiting for me. She was linked arm in arm with Jasper, who gave me a kind yet also rueful smile. He muttered something low, but not low enough. It was in French, that much I could tell.

"La tentation dépassa la raison." it was all he said to me before vanishing off in a swift agile run.

Seriously what was it with the Cullens and _French_? I couldn't help thinking it was because of me that he went. In fact, I _knew _it was because of me that he went. But what he'd just said bothered me, I looked at Alice, hoping for her to explain. I raised _both _my eyebrows; it appeared getting hit by a vampire wasn't enough to be granted the power to lift only one. But Alice just shook her head, and didn't reply.

Something was nagging me, and I needed to get it straight. I did _try _to think of the situation at hand, but couldn't instead all that stuck in my head was one very annoying subject.

French.

Well okay, not the entire subject, just one tiny insignificant sentence, I wasn't to phased by what Jasper said, it meant little to me, no it was the one that Edward had told me in Physics. It had just come back to me, and I needed to find out what it meant. I looked straight ahead of me at Alice, I just hoped she could tell me.

"Alice?" I asked, and she whipped her head round, I hadn't realised she'd still been staring after Jasper.

"Can I ask you a question?" I said, wondering if I even wanted to know the answer.

"Fire away!" she chirped brightly, she really did seem happy with me here. I sighed inwardly, desperately wishing that she was not the only one.

"Okay, can you understand French?" I asked, my voice sounded unsure and hesitant.

"Lucie, what Jasper said-"

"No, it's not that, but could you translate something else?" She shook her head in one quick nod and then I remembered she must be able to, after all it was her saying 'time will tell' that made Edward so angry, but I still didn't know why.

"What does 'une lumière éblouissante.' mean, Edward said it to me a few days ago." I was horrified to see Alice's reaction, she looked shocked, not at all what I had expected and whispered to me darkly.

"_Edward _said that?"

"Yeah…" I mumbled afraid of why Alice looked so taken aback, was it bad?

"Lucie, It means 'a dazzling light.'..." She trailed off, her eyes weren't looking at me. As if she was afraid she'd give too much away with her gaze. That wasn't bad, I thought, but Alice's expression remained the same and it made me wonder otherwise.

I decided not to carry with the subject and then with a twang I remembered.

"Alice!" I squeaked, she looked at me again, her eyes met mine, though her previous thoughts; whatever they were, could not be shown, or if so they were now masked with concern.

"What?"

"What time is it? What day is it? I have to get back home!" I nearly shrieked at her. How could I have forgotten? My dad would be worried sick.

"Lucie, calm down, it's only been around seven hours since you-

"_Seven_!" I shrieked again, my voice was on the verge of hysteria. my father never let me stay out past nine, my curfew, even though I never did. He was worried, and I couldn't blame him. After all, he thought he'd lost his wife down to carelessness. When in fact It was all my fault. Everything was.

"Yes Lucie, seven, I can drive you home if you want?"

"No, please, can I go on my own? I'm fine now, really, did you take my car back for me?" I asked, I wanted to go. No, I wanted to stay, but I needed to go. My father had suffered enough; I shouldn't ever scare him like this.

"Lucie, I don't really think it's advisable-" Alice began, but Carlisle walked in, and stopped Alice. I wondered if Carlisle- even though I knew the answer was no,- had a gift like Jasper's. Everything felt calmer with him around. He'd evidently heard the conversation. I supposed my shrieks _had _been rather loud.

"Alice, let Lucie go alone," he told her, and though the way he spoke it was a calm sigh, it was laced with authority. Alice shrugged and sat down, a subdued look on her face. "Lucie, you car's out front, would you like me to escort?" His tone was polite, but I just shook my head.

"Thanks Carlisle, but I think I can figure it out." I said with a weak smile "Oh, and really thanks for patching me up and you too Alice, I-I've got to go now, my father will be worrying." I trembled slightly on the last few words, I just hoped they wouldn't suspect it as fear, which incidentally, it was not. It was dread.

"Of course." said Carlisle, still calm.

I walked from the room, and blocked out whatever they were saying in low voices to each other behind me. It was none of my business.

But as I walked out along the hall towards the doors, I was stopped, dead in my tracks. Edward had just come out of the room in front of me, and by the look of incredulity on his face; I knew he had heard everything (through minds or speech.) I just stood there, frozen, unable to remember where I was going.

He looked at me, I knew I should feel something like: antagonism or rage; odium and dislike; and certainly intimidation. I knew I _should _feel scared. Yet I felt none of these when I saw him. Not even one. Because the moment my eyes met his, he was instantly forgiven. He could do anything, and at the precise moment I realised I would never hate him, even if he hated me. He stopped walking, and stared at me. Pain swept across his perfect face, and I felt his eyes reach me like fire.

"You knew." He whispered, though the sound could shatter all around me.

"Yes." Was all I could say, his eyes ran up my shirt, and rested on the stain on my side, the stain that he had caused. He did not apologise, just averted his gaze from it, and stared into my eyes with so much intensity, I was afraid to even blink; terrified he would vanish, that all of this was a dream. A horribly twisted one, but one I could not live without.

"You were safer in your ignorance Lucie." he said coldly and made to turn. I wanted to reach out and stop him. Beg for forgiveness, for what I had done to Bella. AS I knew this must be the source of his resentment towards me. But I couldn't do that, instead I just asked a question, desperate for his eyes to reach mine once more.

"I don't understand." It wasn't really a question, merely a statement, one that probably proved my lack of knowledge. The irony lay thick on the air. He turned to me, his face seemed impassive, though I could see it was dark, too dark, it showed too much hurt and anguish, feelings that I wished I could stop. He turned to me and muttered his reply.

"Ignorance is like a delicate, exotic fruit, Lucie; touch it and the bloom is gone." He made to turn once more, but not before I felt cross. This was no answer, just a quote, one that meant nothing. Like myself. I felt angry, I knew I had reached the tipping point. I needed answers, not cryptic remarks!

"Don't quote Oscar Wilde at me Edward." I snapped sharply, my anger had suddenly shown, it was minimal, but enough to make Edward's mouth twitch slightly, as he prevented from smiling.

"I didn't think you'd know that." He admitted staring at me, though all amusement had left, his golden eyes now full of sorrow, tinged with despair, and I couldn't stand it. I remembered how he'd hit me, his eyes burning gold with fury; beautiful even in anger. That was better than I what I saw now, I was used to rage. I could handle that, along with fear. What I couldn't handle was numbness, that and what I saw in his eyes, both were deadly and both scared me more than anger.

But I remembered the way he looked from Bella to me when we were in the meadow, straight after I 'd struck her. I saw him again in my mind's eye, the way his expression had from love to hatred.

And Bella didn't love him the same way. I looked at him once more, staring into the perfect face, unable to look into his eyes, too scared that they would mirror the same disgust shown previously. I whispered my reply, hoping he wouldn't catch it, as it slipped from my lips, when I took a last fleeting look at his face.

"I know so much more than you think."

And once again. I ran, wishing that the pain would stop.

And yet I knew it never would.

**Sorry if you didn't like that :s It was essential to answer some questions asked by lovely reviewers! :p**

**I really need some feedback on this chapter in particular, I'm quite sleepy, so sorry if it comes across unclear, please tell me if it does!**

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**Please?**

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	12. Another Despised Interruption

**Why, hello?**

**I'm updating mega fast for all the BRILLIANT reviewers out there, I'm starting to think you all must be vampires, your reviews are perfect! I got so many long ones! It made me SO happy! :P So yeah, thanks A LOT! You're all the reason, why this has been updated so quickly! And it's 7462 words… so there, longest yet!**

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**Enough drivel from me: here you go!**

**Disclaimer: Bwak! Bwak! Bwak! *the chicken, in other words, myself, cannot own Twilight due to copy right.* Life isn't fair… (do chickens even say 'bwak'?) It'll remain a mystery…**

**What happened last chapter:**

And Bella didn't love him the same way. I looked at him once more, staring into the perfect face, unable to look into his eyes, too scared that they would mirror the same disgust shown previously. I whispered my reply, hoping he wouldn't catch it, as it slipped from my lips, when I took a last fleeting look at his face.

"I know so much more than you think."

And once again. I ran, wishing that the pain would stop.

And yet I knew it never would.

**Another Despised Interruption.**

I was finally getting sick of it all.

I'd only just woken up, it was still too dark outside to tell the time. I was pretty sure my clock was bust, unless it really was 11:00am, in which case, there was an eclipse I was unaware of. I stared stubbornly a the device for a few more moments before giving up. It appeared I hadn't been granted the power of making clocks magically work overnight . Another thing to add to my: _things-I-still-can't-do-list._

I rolled onto my side again, turned the pillow over to the cool side and pressed my head into it. Vaguely I realised I was probably insomniac, I couldn't get to sleep, I found it very hard to even rest and of course there was a problem on my mind. Even though the word problem didn't cover it. There were three things mainly, each terrible in their own unique way.

Edward hated me.

The Cullens knew too much about me.

And the most dawning prospect of all, still loomed over me, like a suffocating dark cape.

I had to go shopping with Alice (cue the Horror music.)

I sat up. Sleeping was evidently impossible. Sluggishly I walked towards the bathroom, and I was glad for not the first time that it was an en suite, I don't think I could cope with sharing a bathroom with my father. I rarely spent much time in there. My father however, he was a different matter. It's not true what they say, men spend one heck of a lot of time in the bathroom, I should be one to know.

I looked into the mirror and scrutinised my appearance. Even though I had just woken up, I looked the same as the night before. The swelling on my cheek had faded, now merely a thin red line as apposed to a gash. My hair fell loosely, it looked silver at this hour, with only a ribbon of light coming through the bathroom blinds. My eyes were back to their normal stubborn hazel, though green was the dominant colour at the moment. And they were, as ever, dilated, giving the impression of darkness. I still hadn't changed out of my blood stained clothes and abruptly I felt disgusted. Gingerly lifting up my shirt, I examined the damage caused last night.

I had a purpling bruise on my side, accompanied by a small, but deep, gash. I winced slightly at the sight of it, though it did not hurt. _Human_. My mind thought, weak and pathetic. I needed a shower, and fast. Loosing the rest of my clothes, I hopped in, hoping that I could not only wash away the dried blood, but also my feelings.

I hated that it was a Saturday, that meant free time.

One more thing to know about me: I hate having free time. Well, more correctly, I hate having time to think.

That's why a shower probably wasn't the best thing to do. As thinking is mainly what happens, that along with getting clean. As the hot water flowed down me, I couldn't help remembering the previous night's events. After Edward had talked to me about ignorance, my anger had flared. He knew nothing about ignorance. He didn't see thousands of people's lives, and then have them trapped in his head for ever, always burning at the back of his mind. No. That was just freaky me.

But the truth of the matter was, after that I had felt guilt ridden once more. I rushed back home, my father thankfully, had fallen asleep by the television. I only hoped he hadn't worried about me. I draped a blanket over him and had went to bed. But then there was the problem of sleep.

Last night I'd had countless nightmares. Each one after the other. Each one terrible. Though I couldn't remember them properly; I was glad though, I didn't want to remember what I'd dreamt. Now I was worried with what I'd said though.

I had told the Cullens everything, with a few exceptions regarding whose mind I actually saw. Now I was worried about it. They had taken the news too lightly. I knew Carlisle had wanted to ask more questions, but I supposed they were scared for my health. After all I was a human (even though I hated the word, it was true) and because of this they expected me to be overwhelmed, any normal person would.

_Since when have you been normal? _The unwanted thought echoed in my head as the water continued to fall around me, I grabbed some apple scented shampoo and rubbed it into my hair, I found sticks and bark in it, I sighed , even though I couldn't care less.

But now I didn't feel sad, like I'd done so last night. I'd been distraught, hurt by Edward's remarks, scared for him, worried about him. Now I felt two emotions, both irrational, but only one was allowed.

Anger.

He'd nearly killed me last night, and did he even apologise? No. Did he try to make amends? No. Did he try to help? No. Does he even regret it? I was fairly positive the answer would be like the rest.

So my rage at him was not completely irrational. I thought, fuming silently as I wrapped a towel around myself, now free of blood. I did feel better I admitted to myself, though the heat against my skin had awoken a strange fire within me. I needed to see Edward. I hated the way I acted to weakly against him. The way he had complete power over me, how I lost all sense of anger the moment his golden gaze hit me, the way they drew me into to their bottomless depths… No. I was Angry. I couldn't prevent myself from being weak physically, that was inevitable, but my mind remained intact. Edward could not reach me there, that was one advantage I would put to good use.

I got dressed swiftly, and was surprised when I saw the light out side. I didn't realise I'd been in the shower for that long. The clothes I threw on were simple enough, the less gaudy of all Alice had got me, I tried to cover up as much of my skin as possible, I wasn't because I felt cold; that was something rarely felt. No, It was because in covering up I felt safer, more secure, less weak. I hated feeling weak. I had to stop feeling it. It was an emotion I couldn't afford to feel.

By the time I was fully dressed however, I was faced with a problem. I was going to go shopping with Alice this weekend, though the timing was insure. I wanted to see Edward though. I wanted to treat him the way he'd treated me. Like a piece of unworthy dirt. What was wrong with my mind today?

As soon as I thought about this though, I saw a bright yellow Porsche drive up and a small dark haired pixie jumped out.

"Speak of the devil." I murmured under my breath.

"You mean speak of the pixie!" she trilled, I hadn't realised she could hear so well. Next moment she was in my room. Gosh, they're fast. Despite my previous anger I felt so relieved to see Alice. She alone proved that last night wasn't all a dream. A dream that I was both terrified of, but also one that I never wanted to end. Because the truth was, with the Cullens, I felt more at home than ever. I didn't feel so isolated so alone. But I stopped my thoughts there. Getting attached only meant it was harder to move away…

The past just wouldn't fade.

"Lucie, do you mind telling me why I just had a vision involving you arguing with Edward?" Asked Alice curiously, a mischievous look in her golden eyes, she'd evidently hunted since I'd last seen her. I felt ashamed instantly, but the look on Alice's face was odd, it was almost as if she _approved _of that happening.

"I'm sorry Alice, I guess I'm just a little stressed." I grimaced, sinking to the bed. Stressed didn't cover it.

"Lucie, when are you going to stop apologising!?" Alice exclaimed in exasperation, her eyes and tone disapproving "None of this is your fault. Did he even apologise?" I just shook my head. She was pacing now, her small face scrunched up, trying to see the future no doubt. Her arms were waving dramatically every time she spoke. To be honest, in my opinion, Alice was acting a little bit crazy… "In fact, Edward deserves what-" but she stopped talking abruptly, and instantly I was suspicious.

"Alice…" I said warily, "What exactly did you see me doing?" She was biting her lip now, with the air of giving too much away. "Alice. Tell me." I demanded, staring obstinately at her, she looked slightly sheepish, unwilling to tell me what she'd seen.

"Lucie, it was nothing, just something-and anyway, the future's not set in stone so-" her sentence was mumbled in her trilling voice, it rose an octave as she got more nervous. I sighed. I didn't feel like badgering her. Instead I simply said to her in a voice that I supposed could be interpreted as calm.

"Just take me there." She looked relieved at getting let off the subject I wrote a quick to note to my father explaining where I was-shopping with friends- and put it on my bed. I knew he would not mind me gone, he loved me, but hated the fact that I never seemed to fit in. If it made him happy to think I was happy then so be it, I only wanted his suffering to end. Mine I knew; was beyond hope.

"Lets go!" Alice said, why did she sound so excited?

She took my hand, smiled and with one lithe leap, we jumped out the window.

***

We arrived at the Cullen's house. Or mansion, to describe it more aptly. Despite everything I felt right now I could not deny the house's evident beauty, it mirrored the perfection of those who lived within it.

As I walked in, I began to feel nervous, surely they all hated me, after all, I was just another human.

Carlisle along with Rosalie and Emmett walked towards us. I had to admit, it was scary how they moved so fast, I hadn't even set foot in there house yet. They all stood a little away from me. I knew my blood was tempting them, but Alice stayed by me. She, it seemed, had good control. I looked at them curiously, Carlisle's face annoyed me the most. The way he studied me was too serious; too sentimental. I was getting sick of the sympathy that inevitably found me. Why couldn't people just believe I was fine, and get over that. Hadn't I already told them I couldn't care less about them being vampires. I was sure of this statement. I didn't mind, or care for that matter. My thoughts were broken off however, as I saw the other's faces more closely.

Rosalie looked at me up and down with a scowl on her prefect face.

"Honestly, what is it with Edward and _humans_…"

"Rosalie…" Carlisle interrupted in a strained voice.

Emmett chortled behind her, and gave me the same assessment before also commenting in a voice slightly less harsh and more amused then anything else.

"I know, what is it with the guy and liking girls that have their last named after _birds_?"

"I don't really think he likes me Emmett." I said, I tired to sound cold and indifferent, but I couldn't help but laugh at what he said. Okay, Rosalie obviously didn't like me, but Emmett was funny, that I could live with.

Rosalie didn't know me well.

"How's that funny?" But she wasn't addressing Emmett, instead she was looking at me, her glare could not be mistaken as anything but dislike. Her eyes were shooting daggers, it was almost a death glare. If looks could kill, I'd be pretty dead by now. She didn't change her expression.

Okay… note to self, never laugh in front of her again.

Rosalie: no sense of humour.

Before I could splutter my response however, Emmett answered and his tone still amused despite Rosalie's hostility.

"Lucie's second name's Raven, Bella's is Swan." Emmett said stating the obvious, I decided to leave then, following Alice who was rolling her eyes, amused by the scene. I was slightly surprised by Emmett's knowledge of me though, I did not like that, it was evident I had been talked about a lot last night. Great. More attention.

Rosalie's glares were quite intimidating, I remembered she had shown the same reaction to meeting Bella. But thinking about Bella made me remember. I couldn't help but think over what Emmett had said though. Bella's last name was Swan, it suited her, Swan's were beautiful creatures looked up to by the other birds, renowned for their splendour. Whereas Raven's where ugly birds, often mistaken for crows. There was the difference between me and Bella, it was even shown in our names. Beautiful or Ugly.

All Ravens normally did was fly around the tower of London.

I sighed but discarded the thought, I still hadn't mentally prepared myself by Alice's shopping trip. Which I was sure would be nothing short of torture.

"Lucie?" Alice chirped and I was glad that Carlisle had left the room, I didn't want to be interrogated by questions. Especially ones that revolved soul heartedly around myself.

"Mhmm?" I mumbled, not really in the mood to talk, she was not swayed by response though, if possible her grin was even wider. What was she hiding from me?

"We'll go shopping in a bit, you don't mind if I get ready do you?" Honestly, she was a glorious vampire, did she even need to get ready? By the look on her face, it seemed it was essential, not even that: it was as if the world depended on it.

"Yeah sure." I replied, hitching a smile onto my numb face, though I didn't feel remotely happy. Alice darted out the room and I wondered absently how long she'd take, not that I really minded. I supposed postponing the moment was better than facing it. I walked around the space I was in, surprised at the amount of light that flooded through. The walls were cream, warmer than white, it seemed an odd place for vampires live. I looked out of a wall, solidly made of glass. The scene beyond was simply breathtaking. There was no way to describe the beauty of the forest, I was enchanted by it. It held a silent ethereal beauty to it, though whether this was because I'd already seen the perfection of the meadow I was not sure. The trees swung lightly in the breeze and- but then I saw a movement, disturbing the peace.

It took me a second to realise it was a reflection.

I turned around slowly, and there stood Edward, his hair windswept. Staring at me, his eyes were a remarkable liquid gold, it was obvious he'd just hunted.

"I didn't expect you to be here." He said in a hard voice and with a stab I remembered how much he must hate me. And the fact that I was meant to be angry at him. I lifted my face up to his, he winced slightly as he saw the fading red line across my cheek, if only he knew how much pain _he'd _caused. I thought to myself darkly, remembering the purple bruise beneath my cotton shirt.

"Shopping." I said bluntly but just as coldly, averting my gaze from his eyes. There was a silence then, one that I couldn't break, I could still feel Edward's eyes though, they seemed to burn me. I didn't expect what he said next.

"I'm sorry Lucie." He said, though there was no emotion. I could not here anything, not pity or sympathy or concern. So I replied, in this same flat voice.

"Right." I didn't want to slip up. Because if I was to be true to myself, I wanted nothing more than to hurt him, too bad I'd punched Bella, if only he'd been slightly closer. But I forced a lid onto these emotions. Irrational. I thought to my self, they were unnecessary, I would stop. But that was until he spoke again.

"What's wrong with you Lucie?!" His voice raised in an exasperated tone. I stared up at him, furious. How dare he talk to me like that! What was wrong with _me_?

"Many things Edward." I told him darkly. His eyes met mine, and once again I was surprised by his gaze and features. They almost looked hurt, but I did not feel sympathy, I knew he did not regret what he did to me, in an act to avenge Bella.

"Why do you hate me?" he said in a whisper and my reply shocked even myself as it tumbled through my lips, which had been, until this moment, pursed tightly shut.

"Hmm… lets think? Oh yeah, maybe it's the fact you rammed me into a tree Edward, and nearly killed me in doing so!" He just stood there, shocked as I by my response, the anger that had just erupted out of me. I liked the feeling of releasing it, I knew it had been bottled up for too long. I felt a mingled urge to cry or kick him sharply in the ankle, in this situation, the latter was the better option, though it'd probably have a smaller effect. Eventually though, after another silence he made his reply, it did not lessen my anger though.

"Don't be melodramatic Lucie." He replied coldly, all traces of pain had gone; I knew I'd hit my mark.

"Me? Melodramatic? I merely stated what you did." I tried to turn away, I'd had enough of his talk. One moment he was grovelling for forgiveness and the next he was calling me melodramatic? Talk about mood swings. But as I turned a felt a cool hand restraining me, the touch on my shoulder made me shiver. I tried to brush it off, but my attempts were fruitless.

"Lucie…" He said, and his voice was strained, it hurt me to hear the pain in his voice, even now when he said my name it sounded beautiful. No! I didn't care. So what if I'd acted irrationally? At least I'd acted, I wasn't going to accept things so lightly. I wasn't going to get pushed round any more.

"Get off me Edward." I said, well aware of how icy my voice sounded. Edward's position didn't change, he was still stiff, nor did his hand leave my shoulder. I hated myself for admiring his strength.

"Not until you understand."

"I said get OFF!" I yelled at him. In an instant I swivelled round to face him, the fury boiling inside me. I punched his arm as hard as I could.

I was furious when it had no effect. All that happened was that my hand hurt, and badly. I bit my lip slightly not wanting to cry out. That would only make me look weaker. But ow, that hurt. I saw Edward watching me as I stared stubbornly at it, I pretended it didn't hurt and glared back at him.

"Lucie," he said, and his voice was close to a growl now, his hands were balled into fists, I could see the tendons throbbing beneath them. He spoke again through gritted teeth. "I don't. Want. To. Hurt. You." He was looking at me with great intensity, I just scoffed my reply. Dimly I knew how stupid I looked, arguing with him. I had no idea what had come over me, I felt sick at being so cruel and mean. What was I doing? But still, I felt anger incinerate me.

"Oh please Edward, save that for someone who hasn't already been hurt!"

"Lucie, I could…kill you."

"Yeah, I noticed thanks!" I shouted at him sarcastically, fighting down the over emotion that crossed my mind every time our eyes met. "Pick on someone your own size Edward." I hissed at him. I knew my anger was fading and it scared me, I just hoped it would last, the other feeling I simply couldn't comprehend with…

"Lucie, I will never hurt you again." he whispered and with that my anger faded completely leaving two emotions that were both terrible. But only one was impossible, and entirely unrequited.

"Too late Edward." I whispered, once again, not wanting to look at him. I felt his hand fall off my shoulder.

"Lucie, you can't keep blaming me." He breathed, just as quietly, his eyes cast downwards.

I just stared at him, shocked. For he had just revealed what I had been thinking-even though I knew he could not hear my mind. Did he not realise I only; have only; and would only ever: blame myself?

I knew I would crack, I couldn't take much more. Soon I would slip up, I could not let that happen. I turned to him, knowing full well which emotion I would have to choose.

"I was right Edward." I said, though my voice was no longer fuelled with anger; it lacked all emotion. It was dead. "It's easier to hate you."

And with that I turned stiffly and walked out the room, to where I knew guilt would soon consume me.

***

"Lucie!" The shrill voice hit me, I turned around slowly, no tears had fallen down my face. I felt horrid. Dead. Alice was behind the bathroom door, her high voice sounded anxious. I had ran straight here; it being the only other room I had visited in this house. I didn't want to face her just yet. I was still running over what I'd just done, how callous I'd just been. Edward had tried to apologise, and I'd just ignored him.

With a throb I remembered my hand. I looked down at it absently, it alone should bring tears to my eyes, but I couldn't cry. I couldn't feel anything apart from guilt. I'd hit him. Though he wouldn't be in pain, I felt mean that I'd done that, anyone would be hurt; pain or no pain. I was one to know from experience.

"Lucie? Are you ok…" Alice's shrill voice had turned worried now, I sighed and shook my head slightly, trying to clear my mind. I walked over to the door briskly, and threw it open, smiling as I saw Alice. I hoped my acting skills were good.

"Yeah, I'm fine Alice." I said casually, and I was relieved to see her face loose some of the previous worry. I really was _sick_ of sympathy by now. Alice, I noticed, had changed, she was now wearing a sparkly top which clung to her tiny figure. I was skinny myself, but compared to Alice I was not, she was thin in the extreme. Though she did not look unwell, it balanced out her pixie-like features. Alice beamed at my mood.

"Glad you told him what you did, I was getting sick of him not apologising!" she said, I was surprised, was this what she'd seen? I just nodded, not wanting to talk unless I was certain I wouldn't stutter, my head ached a bit, I put it down to still being on recovery mode. Alice grabbed my hand and started to walk towards the front doors, I winced though, despite myself, my hand still felt tender. She whipped round instantly, looking at me with concern.

"It's nothing Alice, I just…" I trailed off, and Alice's eyes looked down at my hand. She frowned slightly at the bruise forming around my knuckles. But when she looked up again, I saw a grin on her lips.

"Did you _hit _Edward?" _Uh oh_… I blurted out my next sentence, scared of Alice's reaction.

"Yeah Alice, I'm sorry, I'll go and apologise right now, it just slipped out I'm really sorry-"

"Lucie!" she scolded, smiling though, "Please stop saying sorry for everything, and don't worry about Edward, by the look of things, you did more damage to yourself." I grimaced, but felt immensely relieved, glad that Alice didn't hate me. She began leading me, gently now, by my uninjured hand to the kitchen. She was muttering something darkly under her breath now, I listened carefully.

"I'm glad he's learnt his lesson." I stared at her, appalled as I realised what she'd seen in my room.

"Alice! You didn't see me hitting him did you?" I asked, as the shock dawned on me.

"Yes Lucie, that's why I was glad, he deserves it with how he treated you, don't worry though, we've got shopping to put your mind off that!" Her voice was still slightly dark when mentioning Edward, but became it's usual chirpy self towards the end. I wanted to press the matter, to convince her that it _was _my fault. But at that moment Carlisle walked in.

_Please don't ask me questions_. My mind silently begged.

"Carlisle, could you just look at Lucie's hand for me?" Alice asked, I hastened to interrupt.

"No, no, it's ok really, I'm fine.." I muttered quickly. Carlisle raised an eyebrow at me.

Not _another _one!

Could all vampires lift one eyebrow?

"Lucie, I'm sure your fine, but all the same I'd like to look." He took my hand surprisingly gently, I did not shiver at his cold touch as I done to Edward's, dimly I wondered why, but I was too preoccupied by Carlisle's frown.

"it's nothing, barely a bruise." I rushed through the sentence, eager to get away from Carlisle. I knew he was a nice person, exceedingly nice, to fix me up, and tolerate my presence. But nonetheless, I was scared of him. Well, technically not scared of him at all, I was just scared of the questions he would ask.

"Lucie, how did you do this?" Carlisle asked gesturing my swollen hand, though his voice wasn't worried, letting me know there was no damage done, it was curiosity again that filled his melodic voice. I felt my self go red as I muttered the next words.

"I punched Edward…"

Carlisle's reaction was like Alice's, he smirked slightly before grinning revealing a set of perfect white teeth, a set that any dentist would kill for.

"I bet that shocked him, what with your mind being impenetrable." he mused, though the way he referred to me-and my 'impenetrable' mind as he phrased it- was odd, inquisitiveness was there, but that was not the only thing I heard within his voice. The other was closer to marvel. He laughed lightly and Alice joined him. "Glad you showed him a taste of his own medicine Lucie." I was again, shocked by their response, did they not like Edward?

Carlisle read my face quickly. "It's not that we don't like Edward Lucie, it's just that no-one's really been able to hit him for a long time, even when some of us want to, Emmett for one gets very frustrated." he chuckled, though I did not see any humour, the thought of Emmett hurting someone _was _scary, though evidently, I still looked confused as Alice carried on.

"He can read what we're going to do before we can act."

"Oh." I said, finally realising what they meant.

They both smiled at me, before Carlisle's face returned serious as he studied my posture. He looked at Alice to speak again.

"Alice, I really don't think Lucie should go shopping straight away, she's only just recovering." Again the darn sympathy. I fought back the urge to scream.

Wait one second… did he just say I couldn't go shopping?

Yes!

I felt worried though, I looked at Alice, she instantly looked crestfallen, once she saw my worried face however, she merely smiled.

"It's ok Lucie, you don't have to come if you don't want to." She said, but her tone implied that she'd be upset.

"Alice, no I do want to!" I managed to say, feigning enthusiasm, silently screaming at myself.

_You've just got _out _of this? Why are you trying to get tortured?_

Carlisle came to my rescue.

"I'm sorry Lucie, but I simply cannot let you go, you really should be resting right now." Alice just shrugged slightly, She didn't look to put out, when her name was called, she skipped from the room to answer. I recognised Jasper's calm voice, he must really not like me, I thought bitterly, if he couldn't stand in the same room.

"Thanks." I muttered to Carlisle. He smiled back at me, though I couldn't return the gesture, I knew he was going to ask me questions. But I would answer them, I told myself stubbornly, after all he'd done, he deserved some of his questions answered. I mean, he _had _just saved me from four hours prolonged torture. I suddenly had an image of my gravestone.

Lucie Raven, death by shopping with Alice Cullen.

I smiled slightly at the silly thought, though with the way she rammed shoes onto my feet, it was not entirely stupid. It could happen. Carlisle's voice woke me up from my silent predictions.

"Lucie, can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, sure." I said, looking down at my feet. Noticing how stupid I looked standing when he was sitting down. He waved his hand to a chair and I sat down dubiously, scared of his questions.

"How long have you had this gift of yours?" He asked, I would answer this, no damage could happen, so quickly I explained it to him.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure, I found out about it when I was about seven. Though when it happened I didn't faint or anything, though have recently. I think the more complex a person's past is, the harder it to take in. I've seen so many people's memories since then, I've lost track. But I can still remember them, because they're part of my past now, if that makes any sense…" I'd explained a bit too much when talking, Carlisle was now staring at me, his golden eyes wide.

"It does make sense," he said quietly, "so how does this gift come to you, am I right in saying it's like Alice's only in reverse? Do they come in visions? Or can you see this whenever you want?" I sighed slightly, that was a lot more than just 'a question.' he didn't realise that I despised my gift, that I would trade anything to not have it. He picked up on my sigh and apologised quickly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, only tell me if you want to." Of course I didn't want to tell him, but there was no point in not doing so, his questions were harmless, for now.

"No, it's ok Carlisle, I suppose it is a bit like what Alice sees in reverse, except I don't just see their past, I can feel it, their every memory, emotion thought…" I trailed off, Carlisle's expression was now in utter awe.

"Go on." he said eagerly, I replied hesitantly, I was giving too much away and I was aware of that, I would have to think before I spoke.

"And yeah, I suppose they come in visions so to speak, and I can't see them when I want, I have no control." My answer to the last two were blunt, but I couldn't let him know too much. He already knew more than I wanted him to. When I said I had no control he nodded, as if he suspected this, though I was surprised he would have guessed that.

"Thank you Lucie, that means a lot." He said intensely, and I smiled genuinely, happy that I could at least be some use, even if it was just widening Carlisle's knowledge.

I heard the door bell ring, and stood up as Carlisle went to open it. I followed him along the hall.

Alice was already opening the door and the moment the door was open I let out an inaudible gasp-though I knew Carlisle heard it.

For outside, her auburn hair whipping round her pretty face: was Bella.

I was standing slightly behind Carlisle, and so she didn't see me at first, or at least, not until after she'd greeted Alice.

Then she saw me.

And her face changed from happiness to hatred.

"What's _she _doing here," Bella said, to no-one in particular, only staring at me. I couldn't reply, I silence had fallen over the room, Alice looked from Bella to me and back again, before she realised what the tension was about. Though she only sighed slightly, but not even that could draw Bella's eyes-a furious chocolate- from me. I looked at her then, and she gasped. I wasn't sure why though. Until I remembered the line across my cheek.

"I did that…?" she whispered, pointing at my face, I wanted to retort sarcastically, comment on the face that it was rude to point, but I didn't. Maybe Bella felt ashamed of herself for doing that to me, alright it was a slim chance, but still, even Bella was good at heart-well at least she was to all but myself.

I nodded in response. And looked at her face, thankfully it was as perfect as ever, it appeared my punch had had little effect. Although I was grateful for this, I couldn't help but feel a little bit disappointed. Could I simply not punch? So far, both times, I'd only ended up injuring myself.

"I'm sorry Bella." I whispered, out of the corner of my eye I saw Alice stare at me, I knew all to well she didn't like my continued apologies. Bella didn't reply, just averted her gaze from me to Alice.

"Where's Edward?" She asked, now completely ignoring my presence, Alice suddenly had a huge smile on her face, though why I wasn't sure?

"I'll tell you if you promise something!" she trilled happily, only one thing could make Alice _that _happy…

"Sure." Bella said, but Alice kept looking at her, waiting, Bella kept looking round Alice's shoulder anxious to see him, suddenly I realised Carlisle had left my side. I felt oddly vulnerable, the very feeling I'd sworn allegiance against. Alice still hadn't spoken so Bella sighed, before muttering "I promise." At this Alice's whole face lit up, I knew what was coming next, I couldn't help smiling too.

"Yay! You're coming shopping!" Alice trilled, "I'll go find Edward!" she said quickly dancing out of the room before Bella could argue.

The look on her face was hilarious. She was still staring after Alice in horror at what she'd just signed up to.

But now, Bella and I were the only ones in the room.

I felt my stomach twist.

She was the one to speak first.

"So, why are you here?" She asked, and to my surprise, her tone was actually conversational, okay, it wasn't exactly friendly, but conversational was one heck of a big step up from being slapped.

"Alice tried to torture me." I replied smoothly.

"Shopping?" she guessed raising _both _her eyebrows.

_At least you're not the only one. _My mind muttered, I approved of it.

"Yep, though not anymore."

"So how did you get out of it?" Bella asked, longing in her voice. I smiled, and to my immense surprise she returned the gesture, with a sheepish one of her own.

"Are you seriously implying that you don't like shopping with the evil pixie?!" I asked in mock astonishment. She grinned.

"Help me! She'll come back soon!" Her voice was panicky now.

"I was still injured," I replied, indicating my side Bella grimaced slightly.

"Sorry about that." She muttered.

"It's okay," I said, I hadn't actually referred to my face. I decided showing her the bruise and cut on my side wasn't the best way to distract attention from the incident.

She smiled tentatively at me then, and I felt once again ashamed for thinking so little of her, Bella was nice and kind, even to me. Then Alice came back, Edward came in swiftly behind her. Edward's eyes met my own, I only hoped my emotions wouldn't give me away. Blushing because of him in Bella's presence would not be the wisest move.

"Bella." Edward breathed, his face easing up as he looked at her, the devotion in his eyes stronger then I'd ever seen it. I did not blush, but Bella sure did. Her skin instantly flushed scarlet, this would look unattractive on most people, though on Bella it only enhanced her beauty. Her ivory skin, contrasting beautifully with the rose colour subtly forming on her cheeks. Edward stopped staring at her, aware no doubt, of my presence, and instead looked at Alice menacingly.

"Alice, that's just cruel." I knew what he was talking about, it appeared Alice just couldn't keep her thoughts quiet.

"No it's not." she trilled with dignity, unperturbed by Edward's glare. "Lucie's still on recovery mode from what _you _did Edward, this is how you shall repay me!" Alice smiled and gestured towards Bella who suddenly realised what Alice meant by repayment.

"Hey!" she cut in, "I'm not any sort of money Alice!" I smiled, Bella really did not want to go shopping, but I supposed her alternative was spending time with Edward. I mean, it's not exactly a hard choice, is it? Torture or glorious time with someone who loved you?

I still wasn't looking at Edward, my anger had faded long before he had entered the room, yet I knew his hadn't, I knew he still hated me. Suddenly I wanted to leave. I was off thinking then, I stood there, not really listening to the conversation. In the end Bella had to go shopping with Alice, but she got to take Edward with her. This made Alice frown slightly, but then she added a comment that made even Edward loo scared.

"Good, Edward really does need some new clothes!"

"I do not!" Edward said indignantly, he looked horrified at the prospect.

I was fully aware that I was not involved in the conversation, whether this was due to them ignoring me or otherwise I wasn't sure. But I didn't mind, on the contrary, I was glad to finally have the attention drawn from me, I hated the way it had been so sincere a few minutes before. Edward muttered something about getting something from his room and dashed upstairs. Alice suddenly looked furious.

"Alice?" Bella questioned.

"Oh no you don't!" she said, still looking murderously up the stairs, "Bella! He's trying to _escape_!" I grinned widely at this, it appeared I definitely was not the only one who had been tortured by shopping before. Alice vanished, running so fast up the stairs my mind couldn't catch up with her, and Emmett walked into the room, smiling as he heard the continued argument about Edward getting new clothes from upstairs. He grinned at Bella and I.

"Hey! Bella, have you heard about Lucie?" Emmett asked her.

And I was instantly afraid.

"No? What about her?" she said, though her voice was not filled with spite like it had been not but a day before.

"She has a gift!" Emmett said, smiling at me affectionately. He was probably taken aback by my expression. Which was: pure terror.

_No, no no…_

He continued, evidently taking my expression as a joke.

"Yeah, and it's really cool, bit like Alice's, she can see people's whole past, their every emotion, memory and thought! Cool eh?" His voice may have sounded kind, and I knew dimly how nice of him it was. But I couldn't concentrate on that. Because through the conversation Bella's face had gone white. When she replied, her voice had turned to ice.

"That's great." Emmett didn't notice how cold her voice was, the way it was laced with loathing, but I did, he just smiled and ran upstairs to join Edward and Alice.

Bella turned to me slowly, her eyes hit me, all previous friendliness had evaporated nearly as soon as it had come. Her expression now-with Emmett gone- was pure and utter hatred. Her eyes burned me, I simply stood there, rooted to the spot, I couldn't move. Her face had lost all her preceding blush, now it was chalky white, the sort that only comes from great fear; shock; or hatred. I had a feeling that she felt all three.

And it had all been going so well.

Now Bella hated me; with a passion.

"You know." she hissed at me; I could not reply. Even though I was sure that had not been a question. I still stood there, unable to move, I felt dizzy; I was pretty sure of my skin colour, it was almost certainly whiter than Bella's. Unless it was blue, from oxygen deprivation. I tried to breathe, but couldn't the air around me seemed to have thinned, leaving my breathless. Literally.

"You've seen my past." She stated, her voice deadly, lower than before, yet it had the same effect. My feet had become two iron anchors, binding me, making movement impossible.

Bella hadn't moved either. She was staring at me, and her face contorted the longer she looked. Now, it seemed, my cover was blown.

"Right. I'll take that as a yes." She said, before giving me one last glare of absolute abhorrence and loathing. I was wrong to think that Rosalie's glares were bad.

They were like smiles compared to Bella's.

She ran upstairs, but slowed and when she reached the top, stopped. She looked at my through furious narrowed eyes, the chocolate brown, closer to black.

"If you tell anyone, I will kill you." I did not doubt her for one second. "do know what you are Lucie?" She spat at me, with glittering malice. I didn't respond, I felt so faint, when was the last time I'd drawn a breath? She waited before answering her own question. "You're just an interruption." Her voice was cold and hard. Like ice, yet stronger. Ice could shatter, I was like ice. Whereas Bella was like steel.

And then: she was gone, running up to join Edward.

With that my life crumpled before me, as all turned to nothing because of one simple fact.

Bella knew.

She would not let me come between her and Edward

_And she would make them leave._

And I still couldn't breathe.

…………**?**

**What did you think? **

**I updated fast eh?**

**Please review this… It's an extra special long one. :p And as promised the controversy between Edward and Lucie was included! (Edward is suffering because of it!) **

**I hope this shows that Bella isn't all evil… well… except from that last part… **

**I cannot write more without your views on this! I got such lovely long reviews on the last chapter! Made me so happy! Could you make me happy again? Please? Please!**

**A review is all it takes to make me scream (in joy of course!) I like to scream! Any sort of review is welcomed, if you really want you can send me flames? Saying urrgghhh I hates it! Me Hates It! I don't mind, as long as you help me improve! Ohh... and you probably haven't noticed, but something is different about every 5th chapter so far, including this one! Who ever guesses what gets a special prize! Mwahahahah!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Lily- who will do anything (with only a few exceptions…) for reviews! **


	13. The Glimpse Of A Complex Mind

**Hey! **

**Ok first of all I apologise… massively, this is a very late update, so I'm really sorry! I had lots of time off school because of the snow, and when I got back, I had tonnes of work to catch up on, not to mention numerous tests, also I couldn't access the Internet, therefore I couldn't respond to reviews! Ok, I know it's a pathetic excuse but it is true!**

**Thank you all for reviewing, I was really taken aback by the number ****:175! It made me really happy! This chapter was originally very long, and it kept switching between Edward's and Lucie's perspective, but in the end it was simply too long, and a bit confusing, so I've had to split it into two chapters. Please review this chapter, it's all from Edward's perspective, so it might not be too good, I've never written an Edward POV before. Feedback is greatly appreciated, so thanks to everyone who has done that in the past!**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight, is that clear by now?**

**I've also added a little snippet from Edward's first thoughts of Lucie, it's basically a drabble, but I couldn't just leave it out! Anyway it might help slightly in understanding this chapter, so here it is:**

**Edward's POV (- his view of the chapter'Curiosity Killed The Cat?' from when he first saw Lucie, in Physics.)**

My day so far, had been dull. There were not many other words to describe how I was feeling, the lead aching sensation that appeared, it happened whenever Bella was out of my sight. I was in Physics, at the back of the class gazing out the window, my mind completely and utterly focused on her.

She'd been acting odd lately and again the feeling of uselessness overpowered me. I simply could not penetrate her mind, what would I give to hear her thoughts? But, I supposed if it made her happy my suffering was worth it.

She had looked so beautiful today, when I had taken her to school, her auburn hair falling past her shoulders, that cream top, matching her skin, the blush rising to her face whenever I looked at her…

But, now it was Physics. A subject in which I was far more superior to the teacher- Mr Banner, who was at this particular moment in time, aphetically writing the date, and doing his lecture in one low monotone.

If I could sleep, now would be the ideal place. A subject in which I knew far too much, a teacher who probably wouldn't notice me and his voice could probably send me to sleep in an instant.

If I was human.

But the fact of the matter was, I was not human. I was a vampire. A cold blooded killer, destined to destroy, destined to kill. Even now I felt the desire grip me, twist me internally, make my throat ache. Blood. An eternal desire that would grip me, forever.

That's why I needed Bella. She alone was a perfect distraction, around her I could forget about myself, simply concentrate on the most important thing in my life: her.

Suddenly I heard footsteps, quick anxious ones, approach the classroom.

A girl appeared at the door way, wearing a midnight blue short top that clung to her petit figure. An odd attire, considering the weather. Golden hair, fell loosely down past her shoulders, which were alabaster pale. She caught my attention- which was a rare occurrence for one like myself- but I didn't know why?

Several people had started to notice her now, the thoughts ran through my head, fast and quick, it was a buzzing sound, like a trapped bee.

_Who__'__s she? _

_What__'__s she doing here?_

_Woah - nice! _

_Ha she__'__s late, stupid girl, ugh, Mike__'__s looking at her, honestly she__'__s not that pretty! Bet she__'__s wearing loads of makeup, people don__'__t naturally look that pale unless, you__'__re a Cullen, oooh__…_

Jessica Stanley's thoughts stood out the most her banter being one of the most annoying ones in the school. I didn't try to listen to her thoughts though, which were once again becoming incoherent, a regular incidence when it came to her thinking about my family. She already didn't like the girl, she'd had this very same reaction to Bella, all that time ago.

But the girl just stood there. Dead still. A giggle erupted from Lauren's seat, she was just as jealous as Jessica.

And suddenly I realised why she was different, why she'd captured my attention. I stared at her, and sure enough I was correct.

I _couldn__'__t _read her mind.

I sat there for a second, regaining my thoughts.

What was happening to me? I could read everyone's thoughts, aside from Bella's and I knew why now, what with Aro's speculations. But there the girl stood, frail, anxious, embarrassed and upset. I could tell her emotions, they were evident on her face, much like Bella's.

The girl was getting red now, embarrassed by the attention- Mr Banner hadn't noticed her arrival, she let out a small cough, evidently trying to get his attention, but it didn't work. Eric sneezed, easing some of the tension and drawing some eyes away from the girl. Mine however, didn't budge.

The girl looked upset now, and an overwhelming feeling fell over me, she was unhappy, almost distraught. I had to stop that. Besides, maybe if she looked at me, I might be able to hear her.

"Mr Banner, I think we've got a new student." I said, resuming my usual slouch on the chair, she looked at me then, her eyes locked on mine.

They were wide with embarrassment, so different from Bella's and yet just as captivating. Almond shaped with a thick frame of long eyelashes, so unlike most girls in the fact that they were abundant of mascara, or any makeup for that matter. At first I thought they were green, two emeralds lustrous and full of mystery. but as I looked closer I noticed the caramel tint around the emerald. They were hazel.

But…

Nothing.

She didn't seem to want to look away, her eyes were still boring into mine, filled with unmistakable curiosity. A blush rose to the surface of her cheeks.

"Ah, yes!" Mr Banner turned, looking at her.

_The new student, hmm, she doesn__'__t look very intelligent, maybe she__'__s in the wrong group. Mrs Cope probably miss-read her previous records._

Not very intelligent? On the contrary, for some reason, I knew she was the opposite, even if I couldn't read her thoughts, her intelligence was clear, just through her eyes, so lustrous and complex.

"Are you Luciana Raven?" asked Mr Banner, his mind was scanning her figure, and deciding where to put her.

Her reaction to this was odd.

I watched her face, she portrayed a sign of annoyance and her eyes seemed a little bit greener, if that was at all possible. She was then ordered to sit next Ben Cheney, and I felt disappointment fill up inside me. She walked slowly to her seat, content it seemed on not tripping up, just like Bella, frail and impenetrable.

Stop making comparisons, my mind shouted.

**Ok, yeah, I said it was short! But I don't want to write too much about Edward's perspective unless you people out there like it! But hey, back to the actual chapter:**

**(This extract is taken from when Lucie left from arguing with Edward- I've added it in as people requested an Edward POV, plus the questions regarding whether the Cullens had heard Bella and Lucie's argument whilst Alice was stopping Edward from **_**escaping**_**. This hopefully should answer those questions better than just "No they didn't hear." It shows why, anyway enough babble from me, here it is!)**

**The Glimpse Of A Complex Mind**

**Edward's POV:**

Her fragrance lingered in the room, an ethereal reminder of her presence. Apple blossom mixed with that terrible scent. The one that I, the killer, craved: blood. It shocked me then to realise how much I wanted hers, Bella was the only person I'd ever known whose blood could be so tempting. I felt sickened to know that she was not the only one I was drawn to. I left the room fast, sped to my own. Where I slammed the door in aggravation.

My emotions were going haywire. I was confused, in the extreme. I tried to think of something, _anything, _but her. Erratic thoughts continued to swirl around my head, I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, trying to erase her from my memory. Yet my attempts were abortive: futile. Her pale face just wouldn't leave my mind, the way her subtle hair fell from her small face. Lucie; with her delicate body and determined mind. A mind, that not even I could reach. That alone infuriated me, what I would give to hear her and Bella's thoughts? Bella's I was used to by now, but Lucie's was not. Again I felt useless, I needed to match her mind, to her voice. I could still see her eyes; furious, a brilliant shade of emerald green. It was almost as if they got greener when she was angry. She'd hit me. A felt a small smile form on my lips. Her irritation amused me, the way she'd assumed that hitting me would cause any pain. I couldn't help but grimace as I thought about the bruise that had almost certainly formed on her hand.

I'd come back from my mornings hunting trip. I knew hunting would be a good way to calm down, when I was hunting, my senses took control, leaving no room for thought. I relished that time, in which I could forget, only concentrate on my prey. It was the closest thing, I supposed, to sleep.

But when I'd come back, _she _was there. The very reason why I had gone hunting was because of her. Because of what I had done. Her face had looked peaceful when I'd encountered her, awed by the forest, surrounding our home. She had looked so composed, so content. That was, of course, until she saw me.

She changed instantly, her stance became rigid, her eyes lost some of their caramel tinting. She looked afraid. I remembered my words as I spoke them to her, in an attempt to break the silence that had formed. I breathed then, and the pain in my throat ached. I'd just hunted, but the desire for her blood was almost overwhelming. It was sweet and potent, second only to Bella's. I concentrated on her other smell, just as pleasant, but not in the food way. I wondered absently what she smelt of, deciding that it was an unusual, but oddly fitting, mixture between apple blossom and the fresh pollen of Lilies. Her scent suited her, it seemed so innocent and pure.

"I didn't expect you to be here." My voice had come out hard, frostier than I would have liked. Though this was probably better, as with a stab I thought about how I'd acted, not but the night before. I knew she must hate me.

Though her reply was what hurt me. The way her voice was just as sharp and icy, hatred evident in her tone. I knew I should have expected as much, all things considered, but still. She'd looked down after she'd stated why she was here. Because of Alice, and I couldn't help but feel disappointed, but why, I wasn't sure. I'd apologised to her. My voice again, lacked emotion, it sounded false, but I could not portray how I felt. I didn't know what I felt towards her. That scared me, more than anything.

Eventually though, her indifference had annoyed me. I lashed out at her, asking what was wrong with her. Her reaction had made me instantly regret it. She'd looked livid, furious at what I'd said, though it was the way she'd replied that was haunting. The dead edge to her words, making them sound dark and sinister.

"_Many things Edward." _I knew I'd hurt her, and felt horrid in doing so. That was twice now, twice that I had hurt her. I couldn't afford to let it happen again. I'd whispered my next question afraid of her answer. It was a thought that tumbled through my lips, I never meant her to hear it. I asked her why she hated me. But her reply had been so unexpected.

She'd fought back, ever getting more impatient and cross, and it dawned on me just how much she disliked me, my responses had been cold and callous. They did not show, or give anything away, about how I really felt.

I sighed then, and paced around my room. I had cleaned it yesterday, and now it was still in the same spotless state, not allowing me to improve it. Gently I ran my fingers against my CD collection, and wondered absently.

Did Lucie like music?

I was shocked at the thought. About why I was still thinking about her. I began pacing again. I had to get her off my mind. But then I heard Carlisle's thoughts, and they did not help the situation.

_I wonder why she looks so upset about this gift of hers, it seems immensely powerful, never have I encountered something so remarkable, and yet her control over it is an odd one, she seems unable to choose whose mind to see. Hmm, yes that's an interesting theory, ah, she seems reluctant… _His thoughts became incoherent towards the end, though this was typical of Carlisle, always wondering, seeking out knowledge, he was intrigued by Lucie then, by her gift.

I listened to the conversation, curious myself over her power.

Her voice sounded from the kitchen, it's fury had vanished, leaving only her soft chime of a voice.

"_No, it's ok Carlisle, I suppose it is a bit like what Alice sees in reverse, except I don't just see their past, I can feel it, their every memory, emotion, thought…" _

I was surprised at this, indeed her gift seemed powerful, especially for a human, I listened more intently, eager to hear her voice again.

No!

I had to stop this. I was angry at her. She hated me. As much as I hated her. But a small voice at the back of my mind mocked me.

_She can't hate you very much then…_

I cursed silently under my breath at my thoughts. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me today, my whole mind was confused and disorientated, I wasn't thinking straight. So I opened my window then. I did not want to hear anymore of their conversation below. I did not want to hear her voice; or more correctly, I did not want to _want _to hear her voice.

Lithely I jumped out in one swift motion, feeling the power of my legs propel me forward, landing by the river that separated our house from the forest. I did not need to hunt, I was still full from this morning, but I wanted to run. I didn't want to think. The trees around me blurred as I ran, faster than usual. I smelt the air, damper than this morning, a low fog clung to the tree tops, which blocked out most of the light. But as I ran, my sense of oblivion was ruined, though it had only just arrived, I heard the thoughts, and recognised the voice.

Jasper.

I ran to him, he'd gone hunting for some reason, though it was an odd time, I wondered why he'd gone alone, without Alice. By the time I reached him though, my question had been answered. His thoughts circled about the girl, the very one I'd tried to stop thinking about.

Jasper grimaced as I met him, well aware that I could read his thoughts. But it was only then that they made sense, and the realisation of what Jasper was actually feeling towards her was disturbing. He wanted her blood too much to stay within the same room as her, though his control was the weakest, I supposed, out of our clan, so it was understandable. We didn't talk, but soon Jasper left, telling me he was going to hunt, he needed to, his eyes were a shade off onyx. I wondered when he'd last fed.

I knew how he felt about her though. Lucie smelt almost as good as Bella, but to me, only her scent would cause the same desire. Bella was everything to me. Without her I was lost, and suddenly, I knew I had my cure. I could concentrate one thing alone, causing all else to be blocked out.

I would think about Bella.

The way her auburn hair fell, framing her heart shaped face, her deep eyes, filled with hidden secrets. Bella was my angel, she alone, was the soul point to my existence.

"Edward!" Alice's pealing voice floated through the trees, I heard her thoughts and my dead heart almost leaped. Bella was here. I sped through the forest to meet her, I hadn't seen Bella since last night, when I'd rushed her home, only to watch as she slept, how her face became so peaceful and angelic, when not ruled by fear.

I ran towards Alice, and blocked out her frantic thoughts, which were, for some reason, reciting a tune in French, though, try as I may, I could still hear her thoughts, they seemed to be very loud for some reason and, not to mention incredibly annoying.

_Je me levé,_

_je me lave,_

_je me brosse dents!_

_Je m'habille, _

_je prends, un petit croissant! _

I raised an eyebrow at her, bemused at why she was reciting a general routine in French, she just smiled mischievously in response, it was all very suspicious. Alice was definitely trying to hide something. Though we had reached the house now, Alice danced into the room, and there stood my angel. I smiled her favourite crooked smile at her, the blush slowly rising to her cream cheeks.

"Bella." I breathed, well aware of how much emotion was portrayed within the simple word. I could not avert my gaze, now a brilliant gold, for I was entranced by her eyes once more, the way her brown eyes were so unfathomable in their chocolate brown. Her cheeks became redder now as I stared, my face beseeching hers, though I broke my gaze, noticing the other person in the room. Lucie. I ignored her presence. I would not think of her anymore. Though while this happened, Alice's thoughts (the only ones I could hear in the room,) slipped, the French tune disappearing.

_Yes! Bella can come shopping, I know the exact place, finally I can buy her that dress, I'll hide the price and then we can get those-_

Alice's frantic thoughts were cut of short by my glare.

"Alice, that's just cruel." I stated, not changing my menacing look.

"No it's not." she trilled in her peal of a voice. I intensified my look. I wanted to be alone with Bella today, I hadn't seen her in so long. But Alice continued. "Lucie's still on recovery mode from what _you _did Edward, this is how you shall repay me!" I ignored the name she'd just uttered, as Alice smiled and gestured towards Bella. I was going to complain once more, but not before my angel spoke.

"Hey!" her voice sounded beautiful in its frustration, "I'm not any sort of money Alice!" I grinned widely at her response, proud at her courage, towards the now scowling Alice. She really didn't understand how many times Alice got her way. Nothing came between Alice and _shopping_…

"Bella!" Alice's voice had raised an octave in pitch, "You _are _coming, we need to get you more clothes, it's a necessity!" Bella began to splutter at this, unsure of how to respond, I cut in.

"Bella looks perfect in what she is wearing Alice." I stated coolly, telling the truth, she was wearing my favourite colour on her, a dark blue, showing off her flawless skin, cream with roses. At this though, I turned back to her, were another blush was forming, I couldn't help but smile. Even if I couldn't read her thoughts, they were often portrayed easily upon her face.

Alice cut in then, her voice becoming shriller, even higher than before.

"Bella _is _coming! I don't care how, you can come too Edward, but Bella shall come shopping with me today!" her voice now, was filled with command.

"Alice, if your voice rises any higher, we shall all go deaf." I said again, my voice did not waver. Bella was staying with me today.

But I looked at Lucie then. She hadn't moved once since my arrival, her fair hair was lifting slightly in the breeze through the open window. But she was not looking at me, nor Bella or Alice. She was simply staring into the distance, a remote look in her almond eyes. They were not the brilliant shade of green they had been before, now, they had returned to their usual hazel, the caramel brown framing the subtle green in her irises. Her pupils still larger than usual. And then, I did not know what washed over me, because I felt _sorry _for her-despite my angst- she was detached from the conversation, and I noticed something about her expression. Her neat eyebrows were furrowing in thought.

But then I was brought back to the discussion of 'the shopping', because of Bella's voice, seeming to shatter all around in its beauty.

"I will only come if I take Edward with me." Her tone was final, stubborn. I smiled widely at her, but was distracted slightly by her face, again, the troubled look was in her eyes. How I begged to know her thoughts. Why was she forever troubled these days? What was causing her so much discomfort?

And then Alice said something that made me instantly afraid.

"Good, Edward really does need some new clothes!"

"I do not!" I said indignantly, panic portrayed through my expression and voice, because the truth was I was horrified at the prospect of more clothes from Alice. Who seemed to insist on having one outfit for every day of the year. But again, my eyes found Lucie's, who was smiling now, absently staring at her feet, I knew she was happy from being withdrawn from the conversation. But, I was distracted by thinking this. I looked back to my so-called-sister and was once again reminded of the dreaded shopping trip.

"I need to get something." I said, then quickly I muttered something low under my breath, too low, I knew for human ears, only Alice would hear what I said. "I'm only coming if you can catch me." With that, I sped up the stairs, but not before I saw the fury rise into Alice's golden eyes. I smiled widely.

I listened to her reaction, and sure enough her voice was murderous.

"Oh no you don't!" she muttered, "Bella! He's trying to _escape_!" I grinned, running to the open window, and in one bound I was there, I would escape through here, the plan was utter genius.

But then Alice was standing there, her eyes had an impish look about them. She was swinging something from her tiny white fingers. The key to open the window.

"Going somewhere Edward, dearest brother?" She said darkly, smiling evilly. The window could not be opened without the key, I was surprised at her timing in retrieving it. Was Alice faster than me?

Damn. I thought stubbornly, there goes my great escape.

"'Resistance is futile.' Edward." She said darkly.

"You know," I said, as an inspiration hit, causing my grin to reform. "I can just smash this window."

Alice's expression did not change at this, and if possible she smiled wider, only uttering one word. But it was powerful enough for me to understand her confidence in this situation.

"Esme." I stared at her, realising what she meant. Esme would not be happy if the window was smashed. Great. I only had one more option. In a flash I snatched the keys from Alice, smirking at her expression of shock and horror, and in the next moment the window was open.

I needn't have worried.

I was definitely still faster than Alice.

In one vivacious jump, I was outside. Jumping through windows almost seemed part of a routine now. I turned to Alice still smirking at her, she was glaring murderously at me, and hissed something low under her breath.

"Edward. Come. Back. Now." Now she was speaking through her teeth, intensifying my grin. Teasing Alice was hilarious. We were near the forest, my jump had taken me far, I pondered on running through the place. But I turned back to Alice, deciding I would tease her a while longer. If I ran though, I knew she would not keep up.

"No." I said calmly, she glared at me again, but then her gaze went distant as she had a vision briefly, and I saw what would happen if I did not go.

"Fine, I'll just go with Bella then." She countered at me, immensely pleased at her vision of Bella looking frustrated in a shop full of expensive shoes.

I would not let Bella undergo such torture alone.

"Ok, ok, Alice. I'm coming." I sighed defeated.

"Knew you would." Alice smirked.

"Sure." I muttered sarcastically.

"I did," Alice said with dignity, and she tapped her head slightly, "Fortune telling does help!" I scowled at her, my favourite adopted sister, and was going to make another sarcastic retort, but not before Emmett bounded into my line of sight.

_Did I miss all the fun?! _his disappointed thoughts exclaimed, I grinned, Emmett always liked a good fight.

"You didn't miss much." I assured.

"Nah, I just proved to Edward that shopping is inevitable, and essential."

"I'm not so sure about the essential part." I muttered. Emmett grinned, and Alice jumped slightly in remembering.

"We need to go ready!" She squeaked.

Why, _why _did she always sound excited about pure torture?

But then I remembered Bella, and didn't need anymore persuasion, we all ran back to the house and were back upstairs, Emmett's thoughts had now reverted back to Rosalie, at the prospect of no fight. Sometimes, I really hated being able to read _his _mind.

"Emmett, _please _think elsewhere." he just grinned again and sped off, thankfully too far for me to hear anymore of his thoughts. Alice had sped off lithely, to get 'ready' no doubt, now certain I would not escape. I wondered whether to see Bella and was just about to join her hen she walked in the room.

I didn't take log for me to realise that something was wrong. Her stance was odd, hunched slightly, her beautiful hair covered most of her face but not enough for me to notice her eyes. Her eyelashes were wet, she had been crying, instantly I was at her side.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I asked, anxious, Bella only usually cried out of frustration. I swept her hair from her face but she just sighed impatiently, and I realised she was frustrated. I couldn't help but feel relived, frustration was better than her being in pain. Her chocolate eyes found mine again and she muttered her reply crossly.

"It's Lucie."

I couldn't understand my next feelings, for they were all mixed. The first, was anger towards the girl, who had caused Bella to be upset. The second was surprise, and the third was the most worrying. I didn't know whether to believe Bella or not.

What?

I discarded the thought quickly, of course I believed Bella, so I continued, determined that Lucie should suffer from causing Bella discomfort.

"What about her." My voice came out hard again, but Bella did not notice, the troubled look had returned once again to her eyes, and the desire to read her mind was almost overpowering.

What was she thinking about?!

Bella became aware of my gaze and suddenly buried her face into my chest, her sweet hair, just beneath my face; the smell of freesia. The unconditional love for the girl in my arms proved my point in believing Bella. She would never lie to me.

"She's just…" Bella struggled for the right words, her own muffled slightly from her face being pressed tightly against my shirt. "I don't know Edward, she's just always _here_!" Her tone became exasperated and I frowned slightly, though she could not see, confused by her statement. But when her next words reached me, I understood her annoyance completely. "I feel like I can never be with you without _her _present." I didn't like the way she referred to Lucie, could I detect an ounce spite? But seeing how Bella was suffering made me forget this thought the second after it reached my mind.

"I know Bella, don't worry, I promise I shall not leave your side, I am yours forever, never forget that." Bella was mollified by this, raising her face up to my own, she gazed at me, and I was dazzled once more. Nothing could compare to her beauty.

"Thank you." She breathed, inhaling my scent. I did not do the same, knowing how her scent caused the terrible desire to rise within me, knowing that the ache would return. The desire, the ache, the eternal temptation for blood. But I looked back into her eyes, determined to forget about that factor. I would never hurt Bella.

_What? Like you hurt Lucie? _My thoughts infuriated me, as I saw her face again, the way she'd looked so helpless. The shock frozen on her face as she stared at her hand after punching Bella. And then the horror as she saw my expression; how I'd ran at her, enraged by how she'd caused the point of my existence harm, how I'd been overruled by my emotions towards the girl. How I didn't realise my own strength.

How she'd been hurled towards the tree, her side scraping against a jagged branch. The blood seeping from her side, the way the monster within me had growled his approval of me hurting her. The desire for her blood had been far too strong. And then I'd seen her face, contorted in fear and pain, yet she had not yet uttered a scream, she always seemed to refuse to portray her self as weak. Then she'd said my name and I couldn't stand the desire any longer, but I could not hurt her, I could not end her life even though she could be the undoing of all our family had tried to keep secret.

My next actions had been frantic, the girl was now limp, slumped against the tree, Bella's face was still in utter shock, I couldn't comfort her, afraid of her reaction if I had come any closer. Scared if she would hate the monster that had erupted out of me in that fleeting moment when Lucie had hit her.

Before I could react though, Alice had sprinted into the clearing, her expression mirrored Bella's as she studied the scene, as her eyes flickered from me, to the girl slumped against the tree stump, and then to the blood, still seeping from her side.

"_Edward!" _she had hissed at me, _"Get Carlisle!" _and I had just stood there, staring from Alice to Bella, fighting down the desire boiling within me. _"Now!" _Alice had shouted again, and I had ran to Bella, finally reacting to Alice's words. The next memory was of me running with Bella in my arms, her own face white with fear. We told Carlisle, well I told him - Bella was silent all the time. Then I'd taken Bella home, comforted her, and she'd assured me she did not hate me.

She'd even said she was glad at how much I loved her.

So was she glad that I'd hurt Lucie?

With a jolt I was reminded where I was, in my room, staring at the most perfect human on the planet. Bella would never want to hurt someone. I felt disgusted at my thoughts. She sighed again, but not in anguish, in pleasure as she gripped me closer- such a beautiful sound- I buried my face in her hair.

"Edward, I love you." She whispered against my chest. I repositioned her, taking her face, cupping it, within my hands, staring into her eyes, but they were still troubled, I responded, desperate to get rid of whatever was causing her perfect face to look unsettled.

"Not as much as I." I replied, knowing she could never understand how much she meant to me, how my life would simply disintegrate without her.

"You coming shopping then?" She questioned, I smiled despite myself, now partially understanding why she was still annoyed.

"Only for your sake, I couldn't let you go alone."

"Promise you won't leave me." She whispered again, and I couldn't help my expression loose its smile. I would never forgive myself for leaving Bella. She saw my face and sighed again. "Not in that way," I frowned, again confused. "I mean, do you promise you won't vanish off when we're shopping." I smiled, relieved by her cross expression, remembering our last shopping trip with Alice, which had culminated in me fleeing as Alice had led Bella into a lingerie shop.

"I promise." I stated, looking again into her eyes. She didn't reply, her gaze became distant, dazzled by me, yet she would never know how much I was dazzled by her.

"Good." she said finally and broke our gaze, the troubled look once again resurfacing to her features. I let out an exasperated sigh. I _had _to know what she was thinking.

"Bella, _please _tell me what's wrong, I will go mad if you carry on suffering in silence." She looked up at me, and I was shocked by her expression as she searched my face. She looked alarmed, but did not cease to search my face, before she gave up and finally responded.

"Edward…how much did you hear?" Her voice had become very quite, less than a whisper, her eyes cast downwards.

"Hear? Hear what?" I asked, unsure of what she meant. She removed herself from my lap and I couldn't help but feel as if a part of me had been ripped from me. Bella was shifting now, uncomfortably, before she finally stood up, still refusing to meet my gaze.

"How much did you hear between me and Lucie?" She asked, staring at the floor. A frown line appearing on her alabaster forehead, the rose blush faded from her cheeks.

"Nothing." I responded quickly, but truthfully, we had been outside when they talked, when I was trying to escape.

"Really?" She said, and was it just me, or was her tone disbelieving?

"Really." I replied, still very confused by her, question. She scrutinised my face then, her eyes flickering from both of mine in turn, as if to catch one of them lying. "Bella, what happened?" My voice was close to a plea now.

"She-" but I didn't hear what she had done, because then I heard a sound, which made me forget about all else. A sound that I would recognise anywhere, even though it was the first time I'd ever heard it.

A sound that caused me to jump up.

A sound that made me forget about Bella.

A sound that chilled me to the bone.

For the sound that I heard was a terrible scream.

And I knew it was Lucie's.

**Ok, so that was my pathetic attempt at an Edward's POV, was it a success? Or a failure? I really do need to know because of the next chapter, which will return to Lucie's perspective-which is easier to write! But I could make part of it from Edward's as well, good idea? Or not?**

**Anyway, to answer a few questions regarding this I'll need to babble a bit more, brace yourself!**

**A couple of lovely reviewers have mentioned Angela and if she's being forgotten. I can tell you now that she isn't, she just hasn't played a big role in these few chapters because it's still the weekend in this story, try to remember that it is still Saturday in here, Angela will return when Lucie sees her at school, never fear!**

**Another question asked frequently was whether one of the Cullen's past would be shown, well don't worry there, you'll only have to wait till next chapter to find out! Just remember that I'd really appreciate some reviews, they actually help a lot, don't hesitate to correct any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes (I tend to only edit once before posting these chapters onto fanfiction, so I hardly check them at all.)**

**Oh, and someone mentioned me sucking up to reviewers by saying that 'I'm starting to think you all must be vampires, your reviews are so perfect!' Well I'm sorry '****IamNotStalkingEmmett'** **if you think that's sucking up, because it's true, I really feel so happy when I find a review, and they WERE perfect, as many of them were really long. So if that's sucking up, then I don't care, it's how I feel!**

**Also, if you haven't already noticed, your reviews highly influence what I write, they're not only great to read, but also give inspiration! But I've babbled way too much now, so sorry. **

**REVIEW!-It'll make me update faster! :p**

**Lily-who apologies for the long author's note in this!**


	14. The Horrific Memories

**Hey!**

***gasp* I've updated! Thanks loads all of the reviewers out there, I was inspired to update because of all the reviews I got! We are now at staggering 207! Now, in response to my question of continuing on with writing more of Edward's POV, I have made a decision *double gasp!* I shall continue with writing from Lucie's, but occasionally add in Edward's to fill in the blanks when necessary, good idea?**

**Now, please review this, and then I'll update faster! Plus, do it to make me feel awhll happy! :p You want me to be happy, right? (Also, I'd like to thank everyone so, so much for reviewing the last chapter, all of them were appreciated, especially ones with questions, or constructive criticism! And of course the lovely compliments!)**

**Anyway, on with the chapter!**

**What happened last chapter: (In Edward's POV)**

A sound that caused me to jump up.

A sound that made me forget about Bella.

A sound that chilled me to the bone.

For the sound that I heard was a terrible scream.

And I knew it was Lucie's.

*******

**But, I suppose this is more appropriate…**

**What happened last chapter: (In Lucie's POV, chapter 12-gosh, oh-so-confuzziling!)**

"You're just an interruption." Her voice was cold and hard. Like ice, yet stronger. Ice could shatter, I was like ice. Whereas Bella was like steel.

And then: she was gone, running up to join Edward.

With that my life crumpled before me, as all turned to nothing because of one simple fact.

Bella knew.

She would not let me come between her and Edward.

_And she would make them leave._

And I still couldn't breathe.

*******

**The Horrific Memories**

I still stood there. Still not breathing. Still mulling over what she'd said in my mind. I felt like I was beginning to fall, I wanted nothing more than the earth to swallow me up whole, anything would be better than this. Anything compared to an overwhelming sense of dread.

What Bella had said was all true. She was right in saying that I was an interruption on her perfect life. I had ruined everything from her perspective, I knew she assumed that I could end her relationship with Edward in a heartbeat, she probably even thought I _wanted _to do so. Did she really think, even if I told Edward the truth; about Bella's past, that he'd believe me, if she stated otherwise? If she, herself, proclaimed her feelings for Jacob, did she honestly think that he would leave her? Because if she did, she was wrong. Even, I, the ignorant freak, could see that. But Bella did not see how blind Edward was, he was blinded by his love for her. Even though I could not read his thoughts; It was not hard to guess what consumed his mind. Edward and Bella belonged together; nothing could break them apart.

"_You__'__re just an interruption.__" _The unwelcomed thought echoed in my head, so much less distant compared to all else around me; it, was still sharp and painful. I knew If I had any breath, I would have winced. Though the fact was, I had no oxygen within me. In fact, I felt like I had nothing in me. I was empty.

But still, she was right about what she had said, I was. Though this wasn't what scared me. No, what scared me was that interruptions tended to leave, to disappear over time, fading away into the shadows. I did not want to leave, I couldn't leave this world behind. Not with what I knew.

I was still standing shock still, rigid, unable to move an inch. I couldn't think, speak, move. Or breathe. I knew I should, I felt dizzy again; nauseated. Soon, I knew, I would not give out. I was after all, only human. Humans tended to need oxygen, I was no exception. But how could I breathe, when I knew what would happen.

_They would leave._

Bella would convince them.

At this thought, I wanted to cry, but no moisture formed in my eyes, and the strength to sob was not present, though whether this was good or bad, I did not know, now, I knew nothing, I _felt _nothing. the world seemed to have caved in around me. The darkness silently suffocating me, forcing all my senses to shut down, though my eyes remained open. I wasn't sure where I was anymore, dimly I knew I was in the Cullen's house, but none of that mattered now. Because with a couple of simple sentences, my world had fallen around me. Slowly, devastating what little of myself was left. Everything around me blurred, I felt my eyelids flicker rapidly and I distantly knew what was about to happen. I was going to faint. Again.

And so I did the only thing I could do in a situation like this.

I would not be weak any longer. And so I had to escape. Using a renewed sense of energy I ran from the house, knowing they'd be too preoccupied to hear me leave. I liked the feeling as I ran, finally gulping down fresh air. It hurt my throat slightly as I sucked it in, greedily. I fought down the urge to cough.

I was still running, my legs working furiously beneath me, spurring me forward, into the confinement of the forest I had seen from the Cullen's living room. My mind was distant from my body; detached from what I was doing, though it only thought about one thing. I was scared to stop, scared to rest to take a breath. I could only run. It was the only thing on my mind. I broke into the forest, I felt the light above diminish as I ran through the now mossy earth. I noticed the canopy above let little light through, it came down in rays, illuminating the way forward. I kept on running, the energy from within me was not ceasing, I took deep steady breaths, scared of hyperventilation if I stopped. My mind concentrated on the way forward, yet it could not stay silent for long.

_They would leave._

The moment I thought this, I was distracted, I woke up sharply from my state of calm by falling hard to the damp earth. I landed with a thud, in a patch of moss. My side grazed slightly against a rock, and I bit my lip hard in order not to cry out. Hoping that my wound from earlier hadn't reopened.

I breathed slowly, scared if I began to breathe faster. I wasn't sure why I'd ran. I supposed it was an instinctive reaction; running was the general way to escape. Though whether it was wise or not, I did not know. I wondered what Bella had done after I'd left. I was pretty certain that my disappearance would not have been noticed yet. It had only been a matter of minutes since Bella had whispered to me vehemently, causing me to run, to escape. She'd probably tell Edward I had been horrid to her and he would comfort her, sooth her, believe every word she uttered. A hiss escaped my lips. I shut them tightly shut, surprised by this action, and shocked at myself. I had never hissed before. But I could not think of Edward, not now.

_He hates you. _I blocked my thoughts and tried to distract myself.

I looked at my surroundings, and stood up slowly, wincing ever so slightly as I felt a stab of pain in my side, a felt a warm sensation and I knew that the cut had reopened. Great. I lifted up my shirt slightly, gingerly, to inspect the wound. Sure enough, a small dark stain was on my new cream shirt. The cut from beneath it was slowly pulsing out thick, crimson blood. I felt sick. The familiar smell of rust rose up from it. Again, I felt dizzy.

I carried on walking. I did not want to stop because of an injury, after all, it couldn't be that bad, I was not in a lot of pain. And I definitely wasn't going back to ask for it to be stitched up. After a while though, I knew I had nowhere else to walk. I don't know how long I had been walking, all traces of light from the entrance had vanished. I had never been here before, and then the prospect dawned on me as I looked back, the trees all alike from every angle, mirroring the green ground beneath them.

I was lost.

I sighed as I turned my head in each direction, accepting the fact that I had no idea where to go. Again I felt the overwhelming urge to cry. I was justified in feeling this; one was meant to cry out of frustration, and I was certainly frustrated. As I thought back to what had happened though, I realised I was far more than just that. Edward had argued with me, I had been sarcastic towards him, the brief feeling of triumph had left far quicker than it had arrived, now I felt bad again. I felt guilt.

I kicked a rock stubbornly at this. I should not be feeling guilt. Not again. My foot started to throb slightly and a sob escaped me. Everything I did was useless, I could not inflict harm onto others, only myself. I was the one who always ended up getting hurt. The rock remained untouched, as my big toe felt numb, just like when I'd punched Bella, only to be knocked back into a tree. Yes. Just me, always _me_, who suffered, as a consequence, to my careless, _stupid _actions.

But, as the sobs shook me, I wasn't granted the satisfaction of tears. I missed the way the fell softy down my face. Tears were a luxury I could not afford. Now only dry sobs escaped me, they ceased though, leaving only an eerie silence. The wood looked dark, though it was only midday. It was a lattice of green and brown, trees and plants overgrown, their roots protruding from the mossy ground, all of it looked so unreal.

But then I felt it. The terrible feeling that raised hairs on the back of my neck.

Someone was watching me.

I was not alone.

I turned round sharply, and squinted into the thicket of trees. I had heard a sound. Minimal, yet it was still significant. The sound of twigs snapping, beneath someone's feet.

My hasty action was careless, in my spin I stumbled slightly, tripping over an upturned root. I only just regained my balance, before I saw him.

I let out a sigh of relief and I felt the fear that had just seized my stomach ebb away somewhat.

"Jasper." I stated, just about managing to smile.

One that he did not return.

For Jasper was not looking straight at me.

His eyes were coal black.

And he was staring at the dark stain, from which the blood from my cut was causing.

I gasped.

My stress levels where rising; not good for my heart, which seemed to beat traitorously against my chest, louder than usual, a signal of where to strike. I could still feel the hot sensation of blood seep into the pale fabric, the pain had not yet arrived, though that was the least of my fears.

"Jasper?" I choked again, paralysed with fear, I simply stood there; utterly helpless.

"Lucie." Jasper muttered, finally replying after a long pause, and he began to come towards me. "I haven't yet fed you know." He said melodically, his steps were graceful as he danced closer, his movements were mesmerizing and his voice made me want to fall asleep, my fear had vanished. Now I felt calm, an odd emotion to feel at the moment. While my brain was screaming.

_He__'__s using his gift_.

I noticed he was still getting closer, and, ever so slightly, I edged away. Jasper noticed, his eyes zoned in on the small distance I had made between himself and I, he smiled at me, his lips curved up slowly into a grin, in happiness I presumed, though for some reason this did not make him look more handsome. On the contrary, his finely carved features seemed rougher, his expression almost bestial. He smelt the air and sighed deeply, looking for the first time into my eyes. I was lost in the darkness of his.

"I don't normally hunt here Lucie." He whispered, his voice entrancing, hypnotic, I still hadn't moved any further, he carried on. "I tend to hunt further away from Forks, further east, the prey is far better, but then, I smelt the most glorious scent I've ever encountered. Do you know what I smelt, Lucie?" He questioned me, two meters away fro me now, somehow, throughout his speech, he'd managed to move closer. I knew I had to reply, but again I couldn't think probably, all was peaceful. Jasper wouldn't hurt me.

"N-no." I stammered slightly, and Jasper's grin widened, revealing his perfect white teeth.

"I smelt you Lucie."

And there was a silence. Half of me was peaceful, calm with Jasper's presence, but the other was not. Because half of me, had not been affected by Jasper's power, it was concentrating on the way he'd talked about me. His harmonious voice had become deadly silent, and it wrapped possessively around my name, and then suddenly, it dawned on me. I knew what he was planning to do.

The other half of me woke up.

Jasper had not yet hunted.

He had said I _smelt _nice.

When finally the realisation danced upon me, crashing down hard into my head and with an immense effort, I broke my eye contact with Jasper, this I knew; being the easiest way to make me feel how he wanted me to feel. He could control how I felt, he would distract me again, before he danced closer. And then I did the only thing possible, using all of my dwindling breath.

I screamed.

And turned to run, but not before the most inconvenient thing happened. Rendering me frozen where I stood, blocking out my view of the vampire before me.

Because at that moment, Jasper's past hit me.

_The memories hit, fuzzy almost, out of focus at first, almost black and white, unclear, until more colours formed, pulling me under, into the void, of darkness. Then though, the colours spiralled before my closed eyes, dancing and weaving highly intricate patterns, before they settled onto the dominant colour: red. Red, as the blood from a boy falling and grazing his knee. Red, flowing from the small white rabbit, cradled in the blonde boy's arms. Red, from the man who lay dead before him, a bullet embedded in his chest. _

_A boy, less than seven, sat crying next to his dead father, his blonde hair limp, his mother ashen in a corner. Great grief and sadness, despair overwhelming. A great loss. _

_Triumph now, as he learned how to fire a gun, a sense of belonging as he used the weapon. Wanting to succeed when it came to battle, wanting to become a solider. Being told he was too young, his mother angry at his requests to fight. Telling him he'd get hurt. Annoyance towards the woman, wanting to prove himself, to show all his strength._

Distantly I knew I should wake up. I rebelled with the sensation of falling, fighting to stay conscious, trying desperately to open my heavy eyes, knowing all was not well. Something was wrong, something was in danger…

_The boy was older now, around ten, his handsome features more refined, his blonde hair longer to match his growing body. Still living in the age of war Jasper Whitlock. Living in Houston, Texas, His mother still suffering, only trying to comfort him, not caring for herself. More colours; more feelings, the anger, pain, success, contentment, and the sense of still not belonging. I was the boy; excelling in class. I was the boy; cooking for a distraught mother. I was the boy; ready to serve_

No. I was Lucie, and something was wrong, I should not be feeling like this, something was wrong, very wrong, I had to wake up…

_More emotions, more colours, more thoughts, crashed around me, speeding towards me, making it hard to see the individual ones, though some stood out vividly against the rest. The boy was older again, a teenager, his figure muscular and well formed. Wanting to fight, wanting to become a soldier, wanting to serve, to be at someone's command. Knowing something was odd, deaths rising, people disappearing at night, wanting to know why. Wanting to know the truth, not believing his mother; this could not simply be a disease spreading. Knowing where he wanted to fight; The Confederate Army, knowing that this was a new army, disorganised, seeing the opportunities._

A voice drifted to me, reaching me as if after a long period of time, a beautiful resonance, spreading calm though me, in blissful oblivion.

"You're mine." The voice was deadly, ever closer; now only a meter away, I was still paralysed, unable to see, blinded by the memories, by the prevailing colour that flooded into my mind. Red. The memories still distant, the black and white contrasting with the blood remembered.

The deadly silence still lay thick on the air, I wasn't breathing, I couldn't move. Something was still wrong. I was meant to be running, running away from something…

_The boy had aged fast, his maturity surprised others, charmed girls, though he did not respond to their evident interest. He could not get tied up so young, not when he was so close, girls would only hinder him. He seemed to have an aura; charisma, as his father used to call it. He had to succeed, nothing would come in between him and his goal. Determination. The strongest of all his emotions so far, saturated my thoughts, gripping me as I saw him assigned with his first weapon. Wanting to go to fight, still too young, barely sixteen._

_His mother not wanting him to go, demanding he should stay. Anger. Needing to leave, wanting to fight, wanting to excel. Deciding, packing his rare possessions, leaving a note, escaping._

_News from his mother, suffering without him, not caring, knowing to fight was all he knew, fighting was the only thing he was good at, the thing that he desired most. Finding the army, being recruited, lying about his age, saying he was twenty, instead of seventeen, his height convincing the others, along with his charm. Finally becoming what he wanted. Finally becoming a soldier._

_Working well, getting good connections with officers, being told he was a good fighter, a good soldier, one of the best. Being given harder tasks, still excelling, surprising older officers, young inexperienced, and yet still better than the rest. He found he could control people easily, he could guess there mood. Seeing jealously in other's eyes, taking this as a good sign, feeling pride._

There was a beautiful sound emitting from somewhere, deep within my subconscious, I felt cold, the music was louder, I listened intently, wanting to here the music again. It formed into words, into a melodic voice, ever closer, still deadly, something was not right. Wanting to see, to understand; to wake up, the darkness reforming, pulling me under, as one memory came thrashing down hard, the longest, most significant, and most daunting…

_Going on patrols, being promoted, high in command now, liking the sense of leadership; liking the power of a command. Becoming a major, youngest ever in Texas, even though he was lying about his age, the first battle of Galveston._

_Being placed in charge of evacuating woman and children, them feeling calm in his presence, trusting the young soldier, taking a day to prepare them all, leaving with the first column of civilians to Houston. Darkness falling over the night, getting a horse, riding back to Galveston, knowing no time to rest. Determination, again building within. Near the city now, noticing something, three women on foot, dismounting, thinking they were stragglers, wanting to offer aid, wanting to protect._

_Seeing their faces I the dim light of the moon, being shocked, awed, by there implausible beauty. Their pale skin, three of them, two blonde and one brunette, the brunette being the smallest, evidently Mexican, yet with such porcelain skin. They were all so young._

_A musical sound emitted from one of the angels, a faired haired one, her voice tinkled like wind chimes. 'He's speechless,' she trilled happily, but the other blonde kept looking at the boy, a longing in her eyes, an eerie one. She leant closer to him, inhaled his scent. 'Mhmm,' she sighed, 'lovely.' But at this, the brunette, spoke; her voice just as high and beautiful yet sharper than the others. Filled with command, the smallest was the leader._

_The girls bickered slightly, ever making curious remarks. Something was wrong, an instinct was screaming to get away from the angels, yet the boy could not, compelled by them, wanting to please. Then one mentioned killing, the feeling washed fast over the boy, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand up. Instinct was saying danger, yet judgement was rebelling, women needed to be protected._

No. Instinct was within me, I was standing, I could feel a cold breeze against my skin, and yet I felt something colder still. A touch against my neck. I felt my body shake, convulsing in the unknown fear. I did not know why I was afraid. The voice sounded again, in the distance, finally reaching my ears, as if through water.

"Can you remember Lucie, what I said in French before," The music sounded next to my ear, so close; a breath away, I could not remember, more images threatened to take me, my mind was switching between the image of three angels, and the darkness. I knew the darkness was the thing I should concentrate on. I had to wake up! Dimly, I realised I could not reply to the voice, it sounded again, breath tickled my ear, whoever was speaking was next to me, whispering something. But I couldn't catch it, I saw a flash of white beneath my eyelids, followed by black, followed by red…

_The brunette angel; the seraph of the group, told something to the blonde ones, one exclaimed an agree of delight 'Let's hunt!' the boy's mind was whirring, another emotion came strong. Something was not right. Danger. But then, the two fair haired angels were gone, they ran into the distance, practically flying as their white dresses flared out behind them, dancing in the breeze. The other one stayed however, addressing the boy, 'What's your name soldier?' Emotions still flew around, replying out of habit, his voice came out stammered slightly, portraying his fear. 'Jasper Whitlock, ma'am.' And then the girl danced next to the boy. Run. The thoughts screamed, yet fear saturated him. Rendering unable to squirm yet but an inch away._

_As the small angel spoke her words, they chilled the air. 'I truly hope you survive Jasper, I have a good feeling about you' I saw her lean closer, as if to plant a swift kiss upon his neck. But then the fire erupted, unimaginable pain seized him, as her teeth cut through the boy's throat._

"La tentation dépassa la raison." The voice sang, waking me slightly, yet my lids remained closed. It was incredibly beautiful, yet it sounded sinister, everything was so surreal, I couldn't decide which was reality and which was not, if either were for that matter. But again, the voice drifted, and now there was no mistaking the tone of reverence within the spoken words.

"It means, 'The temptation exceeded the reason'."

And then I felt a pair of marble hands cup my face, and now I knew that something was not only not right, not only terribly wrong. Something inside my mind clicked, I knew the thing that was in danger now: it was me. I was in danger, I had to escape, I had to…

_The pain was excruciating, the next images flowed thick and fast. Pain. Agony. Heat. Unbearable heat. Flames. Fire. The feelings intensified, I writhed in anguish, all previous thoughts left, leaving only one sensation: the heat. _

_Waking up, the pain diminishing, heart no longer beating. Knowing he was dead. Seeing the angels, them explaining, realising the truth, of what he was, of what he had become. A vampire. Finally seeing, everything so clear, realising the weakness of humans._

_A monster._

I felt my eyelids flickering rapidly, cold breath on my face still, a thousand more feelings and thoughts hit, now so much more refined, no longer black and white, everything was so clear…

_Terrible desire gripping him, a craving, the largest temptation, ruling out the reasons of not to quench it. The taste of human blood. Power. Discovering agile movements, quick reactions, new appearance, now as perfect as the angels. Something was still wrong though. Not angels. Devils. Forever damned. _

_Joining up with his creator, the one to curse him to the eternal life, Maria, Nettie, Lucy. The names appeared before me, finding out about them, working with them, relieving the thirst, being rewarded. A whole new sense of wanting to impress, to exceed. Finding out his gift. Changing moods. The sensation was glorious: control._

_Building an army, new born vampires. Being given power from Maria being put in charge of others, Maria becoming fond, worshipping her, always wanting to impress, to show off ability. Knowing this was the only life, being told so. Vampires had to kill humans, in order to survive._

_Scars from each bite. Forever marking the times he had killed. And the times others had not complied._

_Life continuing, gradually getting sick of the deaths caused, of being the reason for so many dead. Hating feeling their emotions of horror, their desperate, pathetic pleas to live. More thoughts, faster, speeding up, red staining the memories, as the blood shed increased. Finding another newborn; Peter. Civilised. Being like himself, not liking to fight, not liking to kill. Time passing. More new vampires, a female, Charlotte, feeling confused. Unsure of her emotions, forever changing, until he saw her with Peter, discovering her emotions. Love. Peter saving Charlotte, leaving. Letting them go, not destroying them. Maria getting angry._

_More time passing, five years later, Peter coming back to him, showing him how to live differently, lives built from love, not thirst, leaving with them. Feeling confused. Alone. More emotions, thoughts, feelings intensifying. Gift not helping, one feeling dominant, strongest of them all, being too much to cope with._

_Depression._

I smelt a scent; intoxicating, as it fanned over my face, the breath of someone, though it was as if it was tainted, I knew something was wrong, very wrong. I wanted more than ever to open my eyes, but I couldn't, I struggled once more to remain conscious, I needed to wake up. I knew how close the person was now, though whom, I did not know. All I knew was that something was iniquitous and that I needed to wake up. Else all would be chaos. And I knew my life depended on it. I shivered as a hand covered my mouth, trying to stifle an unheard scream, yet I could not scream, not without breath.

"I'm sorry Lucie, but the temptation has overruled all, I cannot suppress it." The musical voice sang, almost pained, yet the sadistic happiness apparent, and I _wanted _no more than to scream, knowing all too well that it would probably be the last sound to leave my lips.

A felt a sensation brush over my neck, something wet, as if someone were kissing me. I thought I could feel a sigh of pleasure, and wondered - not for the first time - what an earth was happening?

"_NO_!" A shout broke the silence, but I couldn't make out who it belonged to, everything was steadily becoming more distant again; not a good sign. Suddenly, the feeling had left my neck, I felt my knees buckle as I fell. Yet I did not awake as I felt a stab of pain beneath me, I felt like I was eternally falling.

I still could not open my eyes, I still could not move, I still could not breathe, I still could not remember what was happening. I fought furiously with the colours reforming, swirling dancing, I bit my lip, causing a trickle of something fall down my mouth. I tasted the salt. I knew what it was: blood. I could not think, not before the memories seized my unwilling mind once more, not allowing myself to judge what was happening. And once again, I was sucked back into someone else's past, knowing that my own would be erased, my future was sure to end…

_Being alone, not coping, more time passing, new images, Now in Philadelphia. The sky, a turbulent grey; from the oncoming storm. Seeking shelter in a diner, eyes black with first. Fear of not being able to suppress it._

_Seeing her. Small and petite, her hair jet black and spiky, walking towards him, she was beautiful. Knowing that she was a vampire, unsure of how to react. Being surprised. Emotions radiating off her, knowing that she meant no harm, her voice; a soft peal of bells, enchanting. 'You've kept me waiting a long time.' The feelings still emanating off her, like nothing he'd ever experienced before._

_The girl holding out her hand, taking it without hesitation._

_Feeling the most wonderful emotion for the first time in an entire century._

_Hope._

_Alice, the girl was called, the new angel, the only angel, now the soul reason for his existence. Telling him about a coven: the Cullens, explaining a new life, without human blood shed. Feeling wary; unsure. Alice being optimistic, convincing him._

_Arriving, seeing their family, Carlisle, the leader, being shocked at his scars, Alice elucidating about her gift and his own, living with them, becoming part of the family. Finally: belonging. Alice-the small miracle, who had now become the very fixation of his life- had saved him. _

A pain seared through me, I heard a crash, growling, more shouts, hisses. Someone; _something_, was fighting. Distantly, I knew I was falling again, and once more I gripped tightly at the edge of my mind. Determined to stay focused, to wake up, I had to wake up, I had to…

_Adapting to the knew lifestyle, finding it harder than the rest, to control the interminable desire, perpetually within him. Moving to Forks, pretending to be human. Going to school. Suffering. The humans, their blood. _

_Spending time with Alice, the most perfect person. Finding out how much he loved her, it was the strongest emotion ever; unyielding, eternal. Kissing her, feeling like heaven whenever her skin was against his. The unyielding love and affection for the girl, basking in her forever happy mood. _

_The new blood, of animals, being a vegetarian, not as satisfying, but better, better than innocent humans dying. Anything, to control the monster, to stay with Alice, finally happy, when in her emotional climate._

_Annoyance towards Edward, his power to read minds frustrating, him interrupting on his private thoughts, so often consumed with the monster that he knew he was. Not wanting Edward to know his struggles._

_Emmett, Rosalie; together, he, Alice; together, Esme, Carlisle; together. Edward; alone. Seeing him suffer, the tedium of everyday, of the human façade._

Suddenly I felt a pair of miracle cool arms around me, a beautiful voice at my ear, so unlike the one before; this one, now saturated with concern, the anxiousness portrayed. It was rough, out of breath. I felt immensely cold, shivering uncontrollably, still unable to open my eyes. The voice was still murmuring, yet I could not hear the words, what with the pounding weight falling upon me again, the darkness ever searching, until it found me once more; held me in an iron grasp.

_A new human arriving at school, seeing Edward change, feeling his mood around her. Remembering, all too well that one deadly emotion._

_Knowing, he was falling for her._

_More thoughts, thousands more, faster they came, now the girl knew about them, she loved Edward, her opening presents. Cutting her finger._

_Seeing the blood, ooze from the cut._

_Running at her, the monster reforming, hating himself, Edward livid. _

_Leaving, Edward thinking it was best._

I was being lifted then, the cool fingers lightly brushing away something from my cheek, a growl emitting from my captor's mouth, knowing the danger was still present…

_Edward not coping, hating his emotions, the way they made him feel depressed, hating the fact that he was forever affected by his guilt and feelings because of the gift he possessed. Edward, wallowing in utter desolation, despair filling his mind._

_Edward going to Volterra, wanting to commit suicide to end his pain, leaving the whole family in turmoil, every thing left in disarray. Alice, saving the scene, retrieving Bella. Adoration for her, the perfect angel._

_Getting used to Bella's scent, it still being intoxicating, though not so much that he needed to quench the thirst, not with the knowledge of what Edward would become._

_Everything getting back to normal, everyone settling back into there old life. Every one: happy. But then more images, all clear and defined, yet jumbled slightly, as if the film was running out. Suspicion. Towards Bella, her moods forever changing, always walking away when he was near, as if she was hiding something. Not telling Edward, respecting Bella, knowing she would not hide anything. Part of the family._

I felt immensely tired, as if all life had been zapped from me, something still wasn't right. The marble hands tightened their hold of me, more soft murmurs, the words indistinguishable, trying to see, desperate to open my eyes, once again, I fought with the darkness. But, yet again it held me, never retreating, never diminishing it's grip. I was being held, bound wherever I was, I still could not remember what was happening, everything was so surreal…

_Another new student. Edward reacting oddly. Him, not being able to read her mind. Alice liking her, seeing visions of them being friends. Smelling her. The blood so intoxicating. Like, nothing he'd ever smelt before, ever come a cross such a sweet scent. The monster growling, growling his approval of the girl visiting. The desire, stronger than ever. Needing to be quenched._

_Her falling in a car park, helping her, Alice wanting to keep her alive. Her blood, so close._

_More scenes, more time, more colours whirled and spiralled before reforming into matter._

_The girl being brought home by Alice and Carlisle, blood falling. Escaping. Running out of the house to hunt when she came to, not wanting to harm her, nothing that was so innocent and pure. Seeing red. _

_Hunting alone, seeing Edward, well aware of the darkness within his eyes, liquid onyx. Still, being unable to hunt, not wanting to taste elk or deer, knowing there temptation was not what he so desperately craved. Desire. Temptation. Forbidden._

_Instincts overruling. Talking control, the power dispersed through each movement, limbs moving with supernatural speed, smelling the scent, running to it, determined to taste the blood. Seeing her fall. Seeing the blood seep through the fabric of her pale shirt._

_Knowing he could not harm her, seeing her shake in frustration, her fair hair moving without an evident breeze, her scent drifting to him._

I heard talking now, people above, still to far for me to hear what they were saying. There voices were mixed, a high soprano, familiar in the way it chimed. A low brass, still anxious. Concerned. Suddenly, the voices became sharper, towards the front of my mind, I could distinguish them better, hear the individual notes.

"He's still out there, he was going to-" Someone was angry. Furious. It radiated off whoever spoke the words, but the soprano cut across, interrupting the explosion.

"Shh, I'll go after him, he'll be feeling awful."

"He doesn't deserve that!" More growling, though then the noise softened, the anxiety seeping back in. "Alice, _look _at her, what's happening?!" Something occurred to me then. The name swam before me once again, Alice, Alice… it sounded familiar. But the angry person was right, what was happening? Where was I?

I felt the memories tugging at me, drawing me in, like the tide, forever being towed back an forth. Never awaking, lost in the current…

_Speaking to her, the monster erupting out of him. No turning back. Knowing she was afraid, scared. Sending waves of calm at her, determined that she would not run. Would not escape. Not when he was so close._

_Her stammering, making the monster grin in pleasure. Wondering how much longer he would last. Until he succumbed. _

_Steadily drawing closer to her, his movements mesmerising her, rooted to the spot, still talking, trying to distract. Felling irritated. His powers not affecting all of her, only half, knowing she had the ability to run._

_Her screaming. Trying to run then- staying put. She had frozen, her eyes blank. Much like Alice, then they shut, she was swaying, as if to fall. Still not moving. Moving closer, still talking, still trying to get closer, drawing nearer. So close now._

I was being lifted again, someone was cradling my head, the noises above me had ceased, now only two were apparent.

"She'll be horrified…"

"We have to leave." Something inside me jolted. They were talking about leaving. Something was terribly wrong, far worse than before, I had to tell them, had to stop them.

No, no, no…

_Planning on how to attack the girl, deciding on dancing to her. Bending down as if to kiss her neck._

_Closer, a foot away. Still talking, unsure of why she seemed so peaceful and yet her emotions changed every second. Depression. Fear. Determination. Loneliness. Control. None of them fit her, and they all disappeared so fast._

_Feeling confused, but not letting that stop him._

_Finally pressing his lips to her throat, ready to bite._

"_NO!" A sound breaking his concentration. Recognition of the voice, knowing who it had belonged to. Being hurled away from the girl, to whom he nearly killed. Feeling disgusted, ashamed. But also, disappointed. Wanting her blood._

_Watching the figure go to the girl, to take her away, his prey. The monster was furious. Feeling himself lunge at him, knocking him backwards, away from his prize. _Snarls, a fight, it flashed before me, I still couldn't open my eyes though, I knew I had to wake up, the voices had stopped completely now, leaving only an eerie silence. It was now or never…

_Running, escaping. Horrified at what he'd done, leaving the saviour of the girl, fleeing as not to harm her further, being so close to killing her. To drinking her blood. The monster within him groaning, mocking him for backing away. Yet he knew it had been the only choice._

But it was then that the bounds holding me broke free. And as the realisation dawned upon me I knew all was lost. The memories had scarred me, Jasper's horrific past. His terrible act in trying to kill me. Myself, only just escaping the clutches of death.

But that was not what scared me.

There had been a far greater peril, a distant one, in which I had overheard, halfway between consciousness and Jasper's past. The voices words; what they had said.

I had just remembered the most important thing.

Finally I opened my eyes. But no colour presented itself, there was only darkness, with pale moonlight seeping through, onto where I lay.

I screamed without breath, the sound dying soon after in my throat.

For I was in my room, alone.

And I knew they had left.

**. . . .**

**Ok, so what did you think?**

**Now, questions, FIRE AWAY! This was probably really confuzziling… if not, congratulations, somehow you've managed to understand my babble which is referred to as writing! If not, please ask questions, I'll answer them as best I can!**

**Gah… So yup, that was Jasper's past that she saw and pretty darn hard to write, was it ok? I need MORE feedback, regarding this question: should I write an Edward POV, for what just happened? I'm not sure, but if it answers questions then hey, I'll give it a go!**

**And, I want to clear up a few things: Ok, firstly, loads of people ask when is Edward going to find out about Jacob, well, I can't say when, but it WILL happen, rest assured. Also, he WILL arrive in the story, just not yet ok? I'm sorry if you think this is moving slowly…**

**And lots of people are commenting on Bella being very OOC, I know, I know I'm sorry! But she does have a reason, which shall be revealed! OK?! (Also, may I point out, that this is set just after New Moon.)**

***Gasp (wow, I've done that a lot now, the whole 'gasping' thing, you'd think I'd be out of breath..) apologies, for yet another long author's note…***

**Thanks again if you've reviewed before, makes me really happy ****J**** and please review this, please? Please! PLEASE…**

**Also, I'd just like to say, that it is half term for me, hence the speedy update! But, I'm going to Wales to visit my best friend soon, and I don't know if I'll update before or after then… So, if you review, there's a much larger chance that I'll update before! (I am going on a skiing course! Cool, eh?)**

**:p**

**Lily- waiting for some reviews?**


	15. The Midnight Hour

**Hey! **

**235 REVIEWS! Thanks SO much! **

**I'm being extra nice, seeing as I've just slaved over writing this for hours (okay, maybe 'slaved' and 'hours' is an exaggeration, but ah well, you get the idea) and it is currently, 11:40 pm, and I'm awhll sleepy, so be happy I've posted this! Maybe I could be rewarded by reviews when I wake up? :p**

**Ok, so I****'****m really sorry, why haven****'****t I updated? Here is the reason: Well, okay, there'****s more than one****…**** (firstly, I had to do a LOT of work for school.) But more importantly:****'Login/submission area is currently inaccessible due to a technical glitch. We apologize for the brief inconvenience. Please come back in a few minutes' (I can officially state that I waited a darn sight longer than a mere 'few minutes' hmmpff… but hey, I'm guessing I'm not the only one who suffered? :p But, I suffered big time, I'm addicted to fanfiction… it was hard to cope :p Other than that, I'm happy because I can finally update, and I've had this chapter completed for a whole 2 days! (Loads of time..) Thanks again, to the brilliant reviewers out there! You guys rock! So yeah I'm sorry! SORRY about the wait!**

**This Chapter is mainly all Edward's POV, but has a small Lucie POV at the end, from requests of an Edward perspective from when he heard Lucie scream- hope it answers questions.**

**Also, I'd just like to thank two anonymous specially reviewers, seeing as I can't reply to their lovely reviews, these two people have reviewed LOADS and always make me smile: **Edward'sGirlForEternity **and** Char! **Thanks you guys! (every other person also deserves a big thanks as well, so don't feel left out!) But I can't ramble too much, you're probably all getting sick of this, aren't you, my constant babbling? Sorry, sorry, sorry!**

**Anyway, here it is!**

**What happened Last chapter (or at least, from Edward's POV):**

A sound that caused me to jump up.

A sound that made me forget about Bella.

A sound that chilled me to the bone.

For the sound that I heard was a terrible scream.

And I knew it was Lucie's.

**The Midnight Hour**

**Edward's POV:**

I heard the piercing sound die in its wake, even in horror, it still sounded delicate, odd that it was mixed with undeniable fear, that didn't suit the soft peal. Lucie's scream; one that had been enough to capture my attention entirely. The next actions I made were erratic, purely impulse based. I knew nothing as I sped towards the window, only when reaching it did I turn to see Bella, standing frozen, also staring at the forest, towards the swaying trees. I just looked at her, and as her eyes met mine, I was confused. Her normally warm brown eyes, would usually stop my thoughts, once captivated in there hidden depths, but now they looked oddly flat, the troubled look had intensified, yet I knew she could not of heard what I had. But I didn't had time to think. For, I only knew one thing; Lucie was in danger. And I had to stop that.

In one agile leap, I jumped through the window. Forgetting Bella as sprinted to the trees, I would explain later, now was not the time for trivial talk. I had to act.

Never have I ran so fast.

Darting through the thickets of branches, the lattice of brown and green sped past me, it became a blur. All I could see was the image of Alice's vision, the day that she'd seen Lucie in the car park. It haunted me, now that I knew it was steadily becoming true.

_Her head slumped against a tree, blood dripping down her side, a figure at her neck. Draining her of blood. Draining her of life. _Only the timing had been unsure. I sped faster, my limbs fuelled with inhuman strength, I knew I was faster than a bullet fired from a gun, but that did not matter. For even bullets; sometimes miss there mark.

_Would I get there in time? _The unwelcome thought rose to my mind I discarded it, negative thoughts would not help matters, I turned sharply left, not knowing where to go, but not before I smelt it. The smell of two people I knew; one was the sweet scent of Lucie. The scent, that even now, when I knew she was in danger, that caused the monster within me to rise steadily as it awoke, and cheer. That caused my throat to ache, my body yearn with the desire it so desperately craved. The simple and deadly desire of her blood.

Yet the other scent was the one that shocked me, and the thought that came along with it, albeit distant and remote - they were far off.

_Only a bit closer now, she's stopped running, odd… Though maybe she feels safe? Hmm, my powers seem to be affecting her well. Ahh, she smells so good, so clean; so pure. Far better than the tainted blood of animals, how could I have coped for so long, nothing could compare to _her's _. Only a bit closer. But why is she all rigid, she looks paralysed? Only a bit closer…_

There was no denying whose thoughts these belonged to. Jasper.

I kicked my legs faster, searching for them, abruptly; totally and utterly furious. Jasper, _Jasper_? I tried to repeat the name in my head, attempting lividly to make sense of it. Yet I could not. But then the dawning dread fell upon me. How could I have been so stupid? I had seen Jasper this morning, his onyx eyes, black with thirst. I hadn't understood his thoughts then, thought little of how they'd been revolved around the girl.

_And I could have made him hunt._

Right then I knew, if anything happened, it would all be my fault.

Even then, he'd known how strong her scent was; how potent and alluring, they way it flooded her cheeks often, giving her a subtle rose tint, to her otherwise alabaster skin. The way it pumped supply through her veins, faster when my eyes met hers, and the way her heart quickened, so loud and moist.

I felt disgusted at myself. How was I any better than Jasper? If I continued to think like this, I knew I would not be able to save her.

_If she isn't dead already._

No! I did not think that, she was still alive, and she would remain so. I listened hard, though without success, their location was remote, instead I tried to access Jasper's mind. I had to stop him.

_So fragile, that cream looks far better with red, the blood in her cheeks, a truly delicious colour, but nothing compared to the scent, and the perfect liquid oozing from that wound…_

Jasper's thoughts became hazy again, from seeing the blood on her side, and in her pale cheeks, the blood that I had seen on several occasions, whenever embarrassment took hold, or when she was angry. Then, the rose colour would not only look beautiful, like a Lily stained with showers of red, but also irresistible. She could not possibly know the way that even _I _felt when she blushed, the temptation that would rise within me, seize me as I saw the colour beneath her skin. I hated myself for feeling that way, and this usually led to angst on my part, it was an irrational reaction, not to mention unjust, but not when compared with such a reaction as Jasper's.

I pitied him, almost. Half of him was trying to run, revolted at himself for wanting to take her, but the other side was stronger, fuelled by the ache in his parched throat; an ache that could only be quenched with blood. And now the most intoxicating type was less than two meters away. I knew he would not hold out for long. He was becoming feverish, I could tell, his thoughts were raging, tired of resisting, and they became incoherent.

_Closer_, I thought, as I sped past a tree, one that I had past earlier today, when I'd seen Jasper previously. _When I could have stopped him. _Faster. I needed to be faster. There was only a few seconds left, I could see the girl, her eyes shut, shaking slightly, not moving. Why wasn't she running? Why hadn't she screamed again? And She was just standing there, as a lethal vampire continued to dance closer.

A vampire that had been deprived of blood, and one that's control was waning, as was it's resistance. In other words, the person who was about to kill Lucie, was Jasper.

I still could hear him properly, though his mind told me what he was saying, even though I could not actually hear his voice,

"_You're mine." A meter away…_ His? Not if I could help it, I sped round more trees, weaving in-between them, jumping over upturned roots, dodging the trunks of trees. Hitting them would not harm me, after all, I was a vampire, the tree would get damaged though, not that I cared, no, it was the fact that it would only slow me down considerably. I could not afford to get slowed down. Not when Lucie's future hung in the balance, becoming less and less liking to continue with every second.

I almost stopped, as I smelt the blood. Looking ahead, my eyes zoned in on a rock, blood against the wet stone, it didn't take a genius to work out whose blood it was. I sped on, using all my will not to lick at the blood, still damp, from the stone. Again, revulsion washed over me. Though at least, I was getting closer.

The neck, where her blood flows thickest, I'll lean in slowly, I only get one chance to do this, so close now.

I wanted to scream as I saw Lucie through Jasper's mind, he was an inch away, planning to lift up her cheek, caress her neck before he bit her, and tasted her blood. I ran; faster. I could hear everything now, as if, in mist the danger my senses had increased, her ragged breath, the panting of Jasper, and then his voice. A voice that sent shivers down my spine, for within the words, the meaning was a death sentence.

"La tentation dépassa la raison." The voice sang, Jasper's voice, it sent a volt of anger through me, then there was a pause before he replied. A pause was what I needed. "It means, 'The temptation exceeded the reason'."

I saw him, through Jasper's eyes, cup her face, hold her, whilst she was evidently unconscious, soon he would not withstand, he would give in to the temptation, I ran faster towards the clearing, in which I knew they were. I felt myself get even angrier as he pushed a strand away from his face, a kind gesture, if he wasn't about to kill her. Which I knew, was exactly what he planned.

"I'm sorry Lucie, but the temptation has overruled all, I cannot suppress it." Jasper sang strained, just as his lips met the crook of her throat.

And then, I burst into the clearing, and threw myself at Jasper, who still hadn't noticed my presence.

"NO!" I yelled, breaking Jasper out of his trance. He looked at me, and fear flashed through, his almost senseless eyes, black as the darkest night. I collided with him, knocking him to the tree, he slammed against it, as the tree fell, cracking against the force I had just exerted.

Out of the corner of my eye; I saw Lucie slump, her knees giving way, as she too hit the ground. It took all my strength not to run to her, there and then.

But I had to deal with Jasper first.

I was still holding onto his shirt, anger boiled in me, as I stared at him, his eyes mirrored his thoughts, still consumed with Lucie, with the blood that was clinging to her shirt.

_I was so close…_Jasper thought, the monster within him, mocking, joint in disappointment, it was the longing that made me throw him to the ground, that unleashed the hiss from within me, only to be answered by a snarl from Jasper. He looked feral, crouched now, as we circled, with myself, constantly keep Lucie behind me, I hated the was her body convulsed, she was shuddering. What was wrong with her?

Jasper lunged to my left, trying to break through my defence, but I parried him, having heard the thought before he made his move. Suddenly, I felt him use his power, as a wave of calm tried to wash over me. Yet it had no affect. Calm was not an emotion I possessed at the moment; for incandescent anger surged through me, mounting very time I saw what Jasper yearned to do, the turbulent wave within me would thrash. I felt like I was going to explode. I pushed Jasper back, with such force, he collided in heap into a trunk four meters away, I took my chance, running to the girl.

As I reached her, it was as if the world slowed down. I held my breath, no needing oxygen, and not wanting to smell her blood as I lifted her frail figure, which was still shuddering. Though as my skin touched hers, she shivered. I figured it was my cold skin, though for some reason, it felt like I had been cold to, despite my granite skin. I saw a line of blood from the corner of her mouth from where she'd bit her lip, hastily I brushed it away, not wanting that to distract me.

It struck me as odd how light she was. I might be angry, high on angered adrenaline, but I could still judge weights accurately and Lucie's was too little. She weighed less than Bella, despite nearly being a foot taller. She was underweight, I made a mental note to inform Esme of this, she would be happy to have the chance at cooking, the thought gave a smile to my face, one that soon vanished, as I was brought back to earth when I heard Jasper's thoughts behind me.

_Edward, _Jasper's mind pleaded, he was gripping the tree, stopping himself from running at me, _I'm so sorry… _I knew the thought was genuine, though this did not excuse him, I growled in response, and spat my reply at him.

"Jasper. Do you have any idea what you've done?" I said quietly, as Jasper looked horrified "Leave. Now." I spoke through clenched teeth, my grip on the girl tightening, fighting down the urge to run at him again, and the other desire, that filled me whenever in Lucie's presence. Jasper stumbled away, running through the trees, as I turned away, disgusted.

Lucie emitted a sound then, her breathing hiked, along with her heartbeat, and I looked down at her anxiously, her eyelids were fluttering rapidly, she was still unconscious. What was happening to her? She grabbed my arm suddenly, and I murmured to her, willing her to awake.

"It's ok, Lucie? Can you hear me?" I was running now, not needing to avert my eyes from her face as I sped through the forest, having memorised the path before. Her eyelids were a pale lavender colour, like amethysts, she looked sleep deprived, yet now she was not sleeping, her body was still convulsing and shaking, I ran faster. I needed to get to Carlisle and fast. The blood from her cheeks had left, and some was still flowing from her cut. How much blood had she lost? I did not ponder on this thought. Thinking about blood, was not the wisest option at the moment. My nose was already burning, despite the fact I hadn't drawn breath since I entered the clearing before.

I was at the house now, and I burst through, Alice was halfway down the stairs, her eyes closed, and I saw the scene I'd just witnessed with my own eyes in the clearing flash I her mind.

"Bit late Alice." I said coldly, ignoring her look of hurt as she stared horrified at Lucie, I called Carlisle, he was at my side in an instant.

"Edward," He gasped, as he saw the ashen girl in my arms, _He's hurt her again? I thought Edward was trying to make it up to her? _Carlisle thought, I glared at him, while explaining her condition quickly, he shot an apologetic glance, _Sorry._ He mentally apologised for his assumption.

"Carlisle, please," I said, and he must of heard the strain in my voice as I handed the girl to him, and promptly stared at the scarlet stain on my hands.

_Edward, wash them, don't taste it, it'll only make things harder. You've lasted exceptionally well, and don't worry. She hasn't lost too much blood, but she's in shock, get Alice. I need her. She might make sense of this._

"Alice?" I asked angrily, perplexed at his calm attitude. "Why?"

_She can help, just get her, I need to sterilise the wound. _

I didn't complain, just ran back into the hallway, Alice was still standing on the stairs, her eyes closed, skimming the future, I growled at her, she snapped her eyes open, and focused on me.

"Alice, Carlisle wants you." I said gruffly, she just nodded silently.

_Edward, I can't see her properly, I never knew this was going to happen, I'm sorry. _Were her thoughts as she left the room, I ignored them, and ran to the bathroom, throwing open the door, not caring about the dent I'd just made in the wall. I lurched towards the sink, washing away the blood. If I had anything remotely solid in my stomach, it would have left me then. I felt sick. The blood burned my thoughts, though I knew that if I tasted it, there would be no suppressing myself from running into that room and taking the girl.

And this time, I would not be the one who was saving her.

I would be the one, endangering her life, yet again.

Furiously, I scrubbed at my hands, making sure no trace of her scent lingered on them. I ran back to the room with Alice and Carlisle, They were talking in hushed tones, still calm. Why was everyone so damn calm?!

"Edward, she's fine." Carlisle said, oh-so-surprisingly, in a calm manner. I seriously wanted to hit something again, the anger had not yet subsided, if anything, it mounted with each and every passing moment.

"She is a long way from being fine, Carlisle." I stated darkly. Really attempting _not_ to throw a chair across the room.

"I know," He sighed slightly, "Look, I need to talk to Jasper, it was him I presume, who nearly attacked her?" Said Carlisle.

"He was about-"

"Edward." Carlisle said sternly. "Yes or No."

"Yes." I said, once again through gritted teeth, Carlisle left, leaving only Alice and I, alone in the room. I placed my head in my hands, muttering, furiously.

"He's still out there, he was going to-"

"Shh, I'll go after him, he'll be feeling awful." Alice cut across me, looking towards the door in which Carlisle was left, a concerned look in her eyes. _Yeah, go an comfort Jasper. What a victim he is_. I thought sarcastically.

"He doesn't deserve that!" I growled and then looked towards Lucie, My voice lowered, the anxiety seeping back into it, as I stared at her, she was still _shuddering. _That, was not just shock.. "Alice, _look _at her, what's happening?!"

"Edward," Alice sighed, "She's having a vision."

"What?" I asked, momentarily forgetting my anger.

"She's seeing someone's past, Jasper's I think, it would explain why she didn't try to run." I considered this briefly, accepted it, but then noticed something in what Alice had said.

"How did you know she didn't run away Alice?" My tone sounded oddly dark. Alice grimaced as she replayed her vision from earlier, the vision that had - like the last - arrived too late.

Then I remembered something. And hated myself for not thinking about it earlier.

_Bella_.

Alice saw my expression, and read my thoughts; portrayed easily on my face at this moment.

"She's fine, left earlier," I made a move to go to Bella's. I had completely forgotten about the point of my existence. I felt sick again, what could she think of me? Running out on her like that, without an explanation? I walked firmly towards the door, everything was in disarray. It was all thanks to Jasper.

_Or, all thanks to you._ My thoughts mocked me darkly. I grabbed the door handle roughly, wrenching it open. I would apologise to Bella, Lucie was fine.

"Edward, she's gone to La Push." Alice said, I whipped round to her.

"Why?" I asked incredulously.

"Edward, give her some space, I think she's meeting the Blacks, you know how close their families have been." Alice sighed and sat on a chair. She looked as if the conversation had aged her, with her hair matted instead of spiky. It struck me that I was not the only one who cared for humans. Alice cared for her friends greatly, and right now, one was unconscious.

"Right." I muttered, and went back to Lucie, who seemed to be shaking less.

"Alice, what do we do? She can't wake up here."

"I know, Carlisle suggested that once we're sure she's ok, that we should return her home, it's already past midnight, Her father will be worried sick. The only problem, is if she remembers it all Edward, then what will happen." Alice said, it sounded like she was on the verge of tears, even though vampires could not cry.

"She'll be horrified…" I muttered, imagining her waking up alone in her room.

"We have to leave." Alice said, standing up, and lifting my head up with her small hand. I hadn't even realised it was down. "Edward, come on, we can take her home, you and me. Then you can go home to Bella." She said soothingly. I tried to smile appreciated back at her. Alice had always been my favourite sibling. She connected with me in a way that none of the others did. She _understood _how I felt.

"Okay." I agreed. "I'll carry her." We took her outside running swiftly to her home, not bothering with Alice's Porsche or my Volvo. They would attract noise. We ran in silence, and I was glad of this, Alice seemed to understand the fact I needed time to cool down, keeping her thoughts quiet, when we reached the driveway to her small cottage like home she asked me a question silently.

_You know how she is Edward, don't act as if last night was a big deal. She'll end up blaming herself._

I wanted to protest, not a big deal? But didn't respond, I knew the last part was true nonetheless. Even if it was entirely someone else's fault, Lucie would find away to blame herself.

_I'll wait here Edward. _Alice thought, as I swiftly climbed into her room, I just grunted a low response, and sat down on her bed, pulling a thick duvet around her, she was shivering again. I rubbed the blanket until her shuddering ceased and I simply sat there, continuing to cradle her, not wanting to leave her unprotected; with her looking so helpless. Her breathing was odd, coming coarse and ragged and then she twisted suddenly, as if in pain. I was instantly worried, had her wound re-opened? But the absence of the scent discarded that theory. And I knew why she was panting, as if running. She was still experiencing Jasper's past. She could do so, even tough he was miles away. Her gift, truly was, extraordinary.

I rocked her gently, crooning her; only wanting her fear to subside, for her to be in peace. Being safe was one thing; feeling safe, was another entirely.

Gradually, her breathing slowed, and she inhaled before letting out a gust of breath, the corners of my mouth turned up as I whispered into her ear.

"You're safe now." And I wished so much, that it was the truth. For I knew, she would never be safe whilst we were present. She could never be away from danger. I placed her on the bed, wrapping the blankets around her, determined she would not get cold from the draft coming through the window.

Staring at her, in the moonlight, I noticed things about her face, finally avoid of fear in sleep, that I had not seen before. For the first time, I looked at her properly, without an audience, and her inquisitive gaze.

Her high cheek bones, covered by alabaster cream skin, nearly as pale as my own in the moonlight. Her delicate features, the natural cupids bow on her small lips, They way her hair (even now, after all that she'd been through) continued to flow down either side of her face, framing it perfectly, a shade of gold closer to silver in the moonlight, contrasting beautifully with her lavender coloured eyelids, joined to a thick set of elegant eyelashes, eyelashes, that were incidently, wet. And as if to prove my point, a single tear rolled down her cheek, my hand caught it, it lingered on my finger, I brought it slowly to my face, only to drop it again, as I felt another's presence.

I'd completely forgotten about Alice. I looked to my left, and sure enough, there Alice was, perched on the window sill.

_Edward, come on, she's safe now._

I looked back from her to Lucie, and nodded, though did not make a move to leave. I felt oddly stuck to where I sat, on the edge of the girls bed, still unwilling to leave her alone.

It only took one word from Alice to make me change my mind. One word was all it took for me to leave the girl. She took my hand and led me to the window.

_Bella._ Was her thought.

And we left Lucie's room, taking separate paths in the night, Alice returning to Jasper, and I returning to Bella. Returning to our loves. Both knowing how lost we were without them

Though all the way, I couldn't shake off the feeling eating away at me.

The feeling that I hated far more than the anger previously.

Intolerable: guilt.

**Lucie's POV: (continued from chapter 14, just after awaking from when Edward left and she'd finished seeing Jasper's past. Still confused?) -Oh, okay, this might help:**

**What happened last chapter:**

But that was not what scared me.

There had been a far greater peril, a distant one, in which I had overheard, halfway between consciousness and Jasper's past. The voices words; what they had said.

I had just remembered the most important thing.

Finally I opened my eyes. But no colour presented itself, there was only darkness, with pale moonlight seeping through, onto where I lay.

I screamed without breath, the sound dying soon after in my throat.

For I was in my room, alone.

And I knew they had left.

***

_Darkness engulfed me. I searched blindly, desperate to get away from the nothingness. My body, however, did not want to cooperate, my limbs felt heavy and numb. It felt as if I was running through water, I couldn__'__t move effectively, forever tripping over things, stumbling. I had to escape. But suddenly, my feet were iron anchors, keeping me firmly where I stood, unable to escape from the unknown, unable to move._

_Fear escalated through me, utter darkness, complete isolation, and yet I knew I was not alone. _

_It was then, that I felt it, the cool clammy hands gently pressing against my lips, trying to stifle the scream._

_They did not succeed. _

I woke up. An ear-splitting scream escaped my dry mouth. Quickly, I fumbled with my hands; stifling the scream, praying that no one had heard me. A looked around, desperate, my heart still beating extra fast. I was convinced someone was going to get me. Sitting up, I noticed that I was dizzy and disorientated and I began to realize that I was shaking all over, my entire frail figure trembling in shock. My breathing was low and ragged, it came in gasps. The tile floor beneath me was cold and hard, yet it seemed to swim beneath me, as if were a liquid not a solid.

I did not where I was, part of me was still ready to run, to scream. To escape from the unknown. Gingerly I stood up and placed my hands on either side of the sink directly in front of me, to steady myself. And slowly, I forced myself to look into the mirror.

I was there all right - same pale complexion (though now admittedly even paler than before) same long blonde hair, now matted and strewn across my face, held there by cold sweat. Finally I stared into my deep, piercing hazel eyes and they gazed back at me, wide with horror, framed by a thick rim of long eyelashes. Wet from tears that had fallen, whilst I had been asleep -if that's what whatever I just experienced was called- leaving faint lines on my pale cheeks.

I stood there, like that for a while. Before finally believing I was alright, that I was still there.

Just a silly dream.

What had happened?

And why was in the bathroom? It occurred to me, that I must be in here. Hence the sink and toilet to my left. But why? Had I slept walked? I couldn't even remember going to _bed _last night, to my room, to my house, let alone…

But then I remembered everything. Jasper's past once again obscured my vision, the pair of hard arms carrying me, the voice melodic in my ear, just before I had drifted off to sleep, was it a dream?

"_You__'__re safe now.__"_

If it was who I thought it was, the melodic voice, the velvet caress, then I knew it must have been a dream. Because the person I wish it had been, hated me. No, correction; hate did not describe the emotion aptly. He must loathe me, despise me for what had happened between us, from what I had caused his family. For I had caused little less of chaos. And the scary thing was, I did not know if I mirrored this emotion, or felt the absolute opposite. All I knew was that the latter was the least realistic of the two.

Someone had taken me home last night, saved me from Jasper. Jasper, who had tried to drink my blood. Who had tried to kill me. Whose past had been the most horrific I had ever encountered. The longest, filled with the years of one who was eternal. Destined not to die; only to kill. The blood. I felt sick again, I wanted to wretch, but did not. Mt stomach alone did not have the energy or strength; much like the rest of my body.

_Jasper had tried to kill me_. The thought was still reverberating round my head stubbornly, refusing to leave, continuing to haunt me. And yet, I was still not screaming. I just stood there, in front of the mirror, vaguely wondering to how I had arrived here. And then a horrible sensation twisted in my stomach, causing me to gasp in shock. Causing my grip on the sink to falter. Causing my knees to once again go limp, as I felt the air escape out of my lungs. Clouding the surface of the mirror.

_Had they left me?_

I remembered everything then, the snatches of conversation, the discussions above me.

And I wanted no more than to scream again.

I stood there for another long minute, still half way between falling and standing before pulling myself together. And now screaming was not an option. Because I wanted to slap myself. I would not be weak any longer. What happened with Jasper had proved my lack of strength. I had to fight the sensation gripping my stomach, twisting it whenever I merely _thought _about the Cullens. And once again, last night flashed before my eyes, and I remembered my pathetic body falling, fainting from Jasper's the weak fainted. I would not do so again. I bit my lip in frustration, only to find myself almost crying out in pain, and noticing the small cut, caused no doubt, from last night. And again, the urge to scream rose within me.

_Weak_.

I wrenched my hands away from the sink then, they were by far the whitest part of me now, from gripping it so hard. I shot a look towards the window, still aware of my movements. Jagged, restless, still prepared for the oncoming attack.

It was not light outside, and I hated it for being dark. It was not so much the evident fear that made me hate it. I had never been afraid of the dark, that at least, had not changed. One thing that didn't seem to affect me. One thing, that made me less weak. No, it was merely the prospect of waiting for light. I did not want to sleep again.

For when I slept, I knew what would hold me captive. The unknown fear, would once again grip me, and I was scared. Scared that the next time, I wouldn't wake up. That I would loose myself in my dreams, always seeming more real than my actual reality. Though, I did not know why?

Having hands suffocating you, was more realistic than vampires I supposed.

I walked back to my bed, I was still wearing the same clothes that I had worn last night, the dark stain was still across my cream shirt, I lifted up to inspect the wound. It had been cleaned, not re-stitched, but sterilised. I knew Carlisle had done it, only his work was renowned for such perfection. But I wanted to distract my thoughts from this, thinking about him, would only make me remember the rest.

I prodded the mass of purple on my side slightly, carefully, testing it, and despite myself, I smiled. It did not seem to hurt. No longer a searing pain, not even an ache, in fact, I could barely feel it.

Though whether this was a good thing, I did not know.

For right now, I felt the numbness returning. Seeping back into me, filling me once again with despair.

Had they left?

I averted my thoughts from this-like before, mulling over the question would not help the impact of it, and so I changed my thoughts to another path, albeit similar. I wondered who had taken me back. I knew it had not been Edward. I knew he hated me, that much was certain. I could still hear what I thought had been him though. His voice, harmonious against my ear, telling me I was safe. But I knew it could not, had not been, him.

It was probably Alice. She would have insisted on taking the burden for what Jasper had almost done. Though still, I did not blame him. Who could? With his past. His every memory reflecting back to the monster he despised. Himself. Besides, I had seen, felt his remorse afterwards, I had already forgiven Jasper, I would need to mention that to him, knowing how much suffering he'd be going through.

_If you ever see them again._

I ignored this thought, knowing how weak it would make me and began to search my room. Where was it? But then I saw the lime green numbers, shining eerily at me from across the room. Huh? That was weird, I noted, as I drew up to my alarm clock. It was showing the time, the _correct _time, judging by the lack of light shining though, if you could call almost complete darkness light. 2:00am. Great. Just great.

But despite my thoughts, a yawn escaped me, I must have been tireder than I thought. I pulled on some pyjamas, I was glad the pain did not reach me when I roughly undid my jeans, replacing them with soft cotton trousers. But I knew distantly, that this was not a good sign.

Sighing, I climbed into my bed, pulling the covers around me, and then hiding under them like a small child, burying myself in swathes of blanket. Protecting myself from my dreams, from the unknown.

I lied earlier.

I am afraid of the dark.

Because it holds what I fear most: not knowing.

And I simply didn't know if the Cullens had left me.

***

**Mhmm? And? What did you think? (Okay, so I didn't like it, but I want to know what you think, please review, it'll make this writing malarkey awhll worthwhile!)**

**Hopefully this fills in a few blanks, the next chapter will be ALL Lucie's POV, Edward's is annoying, so if you don't like it, feel free to state that. But if you do, then say that too! (Ryhmes..dun dun dun…) But, please ask questions if you're confused, and ready to withstand some babbling answer from myself!**

**So ok, I'm going away from Friday afternoon, until Sunday, and cannot update then, but the next chapter is almost finished anyway, so after I'm back I'll update, so… maybe could I have some reviews to cheer me up after fanfiction deprivation? *not-so-subtle hint, hint* :p **

**Basically this explains the whole: "We have to leave." bit, (or at least it's **_**meant **_**to) so can you see how Lucie just misheard… OH, and I'd like to point out that Lucie is now under the assumption that A). the Cullens are GONE! And B). Edward hates her. Also: Edward is plagued by guilt from neglecting Bella, Jasper is feeling remorseful for acting so horribly to Lucie (Please don't judge jasper **_**too **_**much, he's not evil, honest! Just learning to tame his inner demons :p) And everyone else, is trying to act normally… *coughcoughtherewillbeLOTSofcontraversynextchaptercoughcough* So yeah, hmms… wonder what'll happen next with all those mixed feelings? ;)**

**Also, did you notice where Bella ran off to when Edward saved Lucie? Te he!**

**Thanks so much lovely reviewers, I crave your reviews, like Jasper craves Lucie's blood! Except, maybe not in such a twisted way…**

**Reviews? Pretty please? **

**Cookies and Edward flavoured muffins up for grabs? (Yuck? Hang on, lemme rearrange that…)**

**Cookies and muffins with Edward alongside up for grabs? :p Given to all who review?**

**Thanks for reading this rather boring chapter! The next is better à mon avis! (in my opinion..)**

**REVIEW!- remember those cookies, muffins and free Edwards! See how generous I am!**

**Lily- who has a big supply of treats for those who review- and who apologies, **_**once again**_**, for a very long author's note :p**


	16. The Reflective Rain

**Heys! **

**Whoa! A whopping 251 reviews! (okay, it may not seem a lot compared to those big guys with 1000+ reviews, but hey, it's a lot for me!) YAY! THANKS!**

**Now, because I was away, and therefore couldn't update, I've written a long chapter for you all! Over 9,000 words, **_**Over**_**! So yeah, be happy! Thanks again to all those people who reviewed! And especially **Mizz-Emz**, for writing a really long one and making me smile! Reviews? They mean LOADS to me! So keep 'em coming! Now, let me just say, (before you all go off judging when you read this) there is more to come from Lucie's father, so don't judge him too much, like Jasper, he could be misread! Anyway, this is a short authors note, as I have a lot of work to do, what with being away all weekend! So don't worry, less babble, you've gained an advantage! (oh and I apologise for the bad chapter title, creative juices are not flowing, if you have any recommendations for a better one, tell me!)**

**Here you go! ;)**

**What happened last chapter:**

Sighing, I climbed into my bed, pulling the covers around me, and then hiding under them like a small child, burying myself in swathes of blanket. Protecting myself from my dreams, from the unknown.

I lied earlier.

I am afraid of the dark.

Because it holds what I fear most: not knowing.

And I simply didn't know if the Cullens had left me.

***

**The Reflective Rain.**

I woke up with a start, well aware that I had just screamed again. I buried my head in my pillow, swathing my face into the cotton, trying to smother the sound I had just emitted. I just hoped my father hadn't heard it. It was light now, but, the weather outside at the moment seemed to reflect my current mood. It was thundering, the rain hammering against the windows; like a constant drumming. The dim light filled the room dully, making my white walls look grey. Great, nice and depressing.

Sighing, I decided to have a shower, concentrating furiously on the hot water flowing down me. Trying urgently to distract myself from thinking too much. From thinking about _them_, from thinking about- _No_!

I wanted to hit something then, and once more I was surprised at the sudden emotions flowing through me, the anger that had erupted out of me yet again. Though I liked the heated feeling it produced, it made me feel stronger - less weak. Anything, I knew, was better than what I'd felt before, anything was better than the consuming numbness, that constantly seemed to eat away at me.

Smiling slightly, at my improvement in mood, I pulled on some clothes. Old ones, a worn out pair of slightly tight jeans under a pale green, long sleeved chemise, they were clothes I'd forgotten about, but none the less felt nice against my newly washed skin. Alice wouldn't have approved though.

_No… don't think about them. _

Distractedly, I walked down stairs, my legs reacted faster than my head, I walked into the kitchen, vaguely wondering what to cook my dad for breakfast only to find my him already sitting at the table, a cup of coffee next to him, I wondered why he was having coffee? He normally only drank earl grey tea, (_yuck_, is my personal brilliant opinion of the stuff) and he wasn't the type to try out new things. But something was wrong; I felt it as I entered the room, the atmosphere was not hard to judge. He was sitting there, staring at his coffee, his eyes were darker than usual, and he looked tired, bags were forming under his eyes. I knew he had not slept.

"Dad?" I asked hesitantly, actually scared by him, by how he was acting, he looked away in thought, lost in his mind. But, also, he looked paranoid. After a silence, I knew he wasn't going to reply any time soon, so I repeated the question again, still scared. "Dad? Are you ok?" I hated the way my voice sounded so distant, so false, as if I did not care for his reply, when inside, I honestly cared with all my heart. He sighed slightly, and did not look up, but replied, his voice low.

"What happened last night Luciana?" His tone was odd. My father rarely called me by my full name, I was always Lucie to him, like most people. He would only normally say my name like that when he was angry. But I knew he wasn't, his voice did not portray anger, it portrayed fear, yet sounded numb. I did not like it one bit.

"Dad, I'm ok now. That's all that matters." I said briskly. Could he not see how much I did not want this conversation, how every memory of _them _made my stomach twist, made me yearn to see them, despite all they had done.

"That's not an answer young lady." My father said, in the same cold tone, I busied myself, feeling vulnerable just standing there. Quickly I began making toast, and took his plate to wash up. We had a dishwasher, but I did not use it. I needed to do something with my hands, I was afraid they would shake; that would give me away for sure.

"Look dad. I came home, I'm sorry it was late, I didn't mean to scare you." I said, annoyed at my voice, it was feeble now, barely above an audible noise, just a whisper.

So much for being strong.

"Any particular reason why you came through your window?" He asked, shocking me, I'd forgotten that must have been the only way I'd arrived back in my room. I didn't respond. The soapy water from the washing up had lost its heat, now it was cold. _Clammy_. I did not like the way the bubbles clung to my pale fingers. He carried on, looking up, I realised, from his drink, his eyes on my back. "Or, why you were screaming all night?" So he had heard me screaming? Wonderful, really wonderful…

"I'm sorry for waking you up." I said in a hurt voice, because that's how I felt. I did not like the fact that I'd been screaming, and I was sad my father seemed distant from me. Wasn't I meant to be comforted in this situation? I discarded yet another thought. Only the weak were comforted. I did not need this.

I proceeded on to washing more plates, still not wanting to stand or sit down. Washing up (a thing that I normally disliked) was far easier than facing him. His voice was harder than usual; I'm not ashamed to admit that it scared me. I hated seeing him like this, upset and angry at me. After all, only I was meant to suffer.

"Lucie, I do not want you to leave again." He said, his tone was final, I just nodded absently, still scrubbing his plate, which seemed to have dirt encrusted into it, making it hard to clean. Very hard actually. I frowned down at it, forgetting my father. Only to be brought back to the conversation when his fist banged the table, causing me to jump slightly. "Luciana Rose Raven," Oh dear, this was bad; he just used my full name. "Are you even listening to me?!" _No- actually I was concentrating on this stupid dirt that's somehow _inside _this plate of yours, honestly what did you do to it? _Okay, maybe that's not the best response…

"Yeah dad." My voice was nonchalant.

"You are _not,_ I'm sick of this Lucie, I can't stand it!" I looked at him then, forgetting the fact that I had been trying not to do so just a moment before. His words were sharp and angry, but I could detect the pain in them. What was wrong?

"Dad…?" Was all I could say, he looked up from his coffee and stared into my face, I felt dizzy, yet _again_; I knew I had turned paler, but still I looked into his brown eyes, so different from mine. He never changed, I always did.

"Lucie," His tone was softer now, but this didn't make me feel any better, on the contrary, I felt far worse. I knew he was going to say something bad now; only that would explain his sudden change in mood and tone of voice. "I don't think that this is right." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, it was a stressed gesture. I just stared at him, completely perplexed. Maybe I was just slow this morning, but seriously: what the hell did he mean? He didn't say anymore, and I spoke quickly, my breath escaping out through lips.

"Dad? What do you mean?" I asked, he still didn't look up and I began to feel annoyed. "Tell me!" I hated the whine to my voice, he just made an impatient sound, and by then I'd had enough.

Stubbornly I threw the plate back into the sink, still filled with soapy water. To my disappointment however, it didn't smash, or crack, or do anything remotely interesting. I made a mental note to chuck that plate away, honestly, it was stupid in the fact that it _wouldn't _clean, then it didn't smash when I _wanted _it to, proving my annoyance. Ugh! Yes, all in all, it was utterly useless. I would destroy it one day, preferably with a nice big hammer…My father looked up at the noise, his eyes shocked, I didn't look at them for long, I just walked purposefully towards the door. Fed up. I knew I was being cruel, but at this particular moment I simply didn't care.

"Luciana! What did you do that for?!" He exclaimed gruffly. I muttered my reply, though I was sure he'd hear it, before stomping up the stairs, (okay, I didn't actually _stomp_, so to say, I just ran up them, stomping has never really been my sort of thing…)

"I did it because you seem unable to answer me."

I didn't hear what he said next, I was already at my door. I knew I needed to distract myself. I'd tried to do so earlier, with no such luck, only involving me getting frustrated and not being able to smash a plate. Yes. Totally weak. I let out a gust of air, before pacing silently, and deciding to finish some homework, my blue bag hung on the edge of a chair, the English essay protruding out of it. Right a nice long essay. _Fun_. I thought sarcastically, before taking it out and writing, my hand weaving, writing, without conscious thought, I didn't really care what it was about, distantly I knew it was right. I didn't like this though, the fact I didn't really need to concentrate on the work, for this made my mind wander, settling on one thing that was sure to make me feel bad, my stomach twisted again. So much for a distraction.

I didn't know what had happened last night. I only knew what I'd heard, Jasper's past had excluded my vision, but my hearing had not been impaired. Though I'd only heard snatches of conversation, they had been enough for the fear of what could happen to seize me.

_Had they left?!_

The thought was agitated now, impatient for an answer. There was something odd though, I felt as if they were still here, just because I'd heard someone mention them leaving, didn't mean they'd actually left, did it? I sighed yet again, because despite everything, I truly hoped they hadn't left. For I knew without them, I would surely break.

And this time I wasn't sure If I'd repair again.

A noise at the door startled me, my father's voice drifted in, he did not enter, but his voice was nervous, the anger not at all apparent, only worry tainting the edges slightly now. I was sitting cross legged on my bed, my bag and books strewn across it, essay on my lap. I looked up from my essay, unfinished, and stared at him.

"Lucie?" I forgot the fact that I was meant to be angry at him, and briefly tried to summon it once more. I wanted to be frustrated again, to be cross at him, everything was so much simpler when I was angry. Decisions were entirely ruled by instinct, leaving no room for fear or worry. I wanted the anger to flood me again. But, of course, it did not. I could not feel angry just by wanting to, or at least, I could not at the moment.

"Yeah dad?" I said, quickly shoving various books into my old blue bag. Really old, in fact, It used to be my mother's, one of the few things I kept from her. I sprang up from my bed and opened the door. Sure enough my dad was on the other side. His face was odd, a mixture between pain and anxiety.

It took me less than a second to realise that something was wrong. "Dad…?" I said worriedly, his eyes were scaring me, they kept darting back and forth, it was almost as if he had a twitch.

"Honey, I, I, think…" he trailed off, taking me firmly by the arm and into my own room again. He paced up and down the room, his eyebrows thoroughly mashed together, it seemed as if he was struggling to even talk.

"What dad? Please spit it out, your scaring me." My own voice shot up. As he carried on looking grim.

He did literally spit it out. Suddenly all his words came out in a long gush, slurring slightly, in what I could only interpret as fear.

"I'm sorry about earlier honey, really sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that, it just, well…" He stumbled slightly, frowning, his brown eyes beseeching my face, as if he was looking for something behind my features, before continuing "Look, things haven't been how I thought they would here, it's weird, everything has been odd and well _weird_, what with you screaming and fainting, It's what your mother tried to stop, it just seems like it's-" He stopped taking in a breath. His complexion was florid. "Your not well honey, I don't think this place is good for you, so we're leaving. We'll go back to Nottingham or something. You liked it there right? I know school will seem easy, but we can find some better places round there and besides, you'll be with your old friends and you can-" I stopped him, placing one hand firmly in front of his face.

"Dad… what's going on?" I choked out. I was reacting badly, I knew that but I couldn't help hearing what he'd just said the sentence echoed in my mind. _'__things have been odd what with you screaming and fainting, It__'__s what your mother tried to stop.__'_What did he mean? He looked like he regretted saying so much and quickly added, before I could find my voice:

"Sweetie, I know you've just got settled, but I think we should go. We can leave today, in fact, we should. Just pack your things I'll ring the school, They'll understand plus-"

"What? Now?" I interrupted, my voice came out sharper than I thought it could, bordering on the verge of hysteria. I stared at him, intently, trying to force enough calm in my mind, to keep my face composed, but it was a wasted effort. He wasn't looking at me, only staring at his hands, which were trembling.

"Yes. Now. I've been postponing this too long. I'm sorry I've caused so much trouble." His voice was flat, and I was terrified. I had only once seen my father like this: flat; emotionless; and scared. He was like that for a whole week when my mother died. When I'd ran to him, screaming about her hanging, suspended from rope, and he had not calmed me. He had simply been blank. Lifeless. He forgot how to live properly, wouldn't talk or eat and was constantly staring at his hands, which would tremble violently. It was only when he saw me- one night; a week after my mother's death- at his door, ashen and terrified with blotchy eyes from crying my self to sleep, terrified about how my father was going to look after me. I'd felt little older than nine back then, despite the fact that I had been 15, I'd wanted to run to him, and cry like the scared child I truly was. Though I still remember the look in his eyes when he saw me. That alone was enough to send me into great fits of worry. After that, his constant purpose in life was to keep me safe no matter what. But now it seemed like it was happening again and I was nothing short of terrified.

That was why I just as shocked as my father, when my voice came out firm and steady with a resounding sound, filled with an odd note of authority.

"No." I still couldn't quite believe I had said it.

He looked up, it took him several long moments to react.

"What…?" He said, confusion evident in his tone.

"I said no," my voice was still steady, "I'm not leaving dad, I don't want to." His eyes focused on mine, and his expressions flickered, but the one it settled on was one that I would never expect; pure horror.

"No, no. Honey, we've got to go, seriously just trust me," his voice changed from a command to a plea, and I cut in.

"Dad? Tell me what's going on?" I didn't like the sound of my voice now, it was almost whiny, but that was better than what I felt, at least.

"I _can__'__t_…" his voice broke on the last word and he slumped onto the bed, the flatness returning.

"What!" I half shouted. "Dad, you can tell me, you _will_ tell me."

"No." his tone was final, but I wasn't giving up just yet.

"Fine," I said bleakly "but I'm staying here dad and I won't leave. At least… not until you tell me what's going on." Again, my voice was calm. The scary calm. It was the calm that would surely break if put under pressure. And right now, the pressure seemed to be mounting. Soon, it would not only make me crack, but literally explode out of me. I could already feel myself starting to shake slightly.

I stood up throwing my blue bag over my shoulder and walked out the room.

"Lucie, please." I heard him say. But I knew if I stayed one moment longer in my room, I would break and I couldn't let that happen.

"Dad, I'm going to, to…," My voice trailed off, as I suddenly realised I had no where to go, my stomach curled in on itself, making me feel like I had cramp. I just carried on walking, desperate to get out. "On a walk, see you later." I called over my shoulder, tripping clumsily down the stairs and practically sprinting towards the door.

The rain outside was falling heavily, it fell haphazardly, though I did not care, as it pounded heavily against the roof and cars, violently soaking me, drenching me head to foot in water. I needn't have had a shower, I was getting one now. I lifted my head up gently, trying not to think about what my father had said. None of this made sense. All was chaos.

But as I stood there, slowly, getting utterly soaked, my clothes sticking to my skin, I began to feel odd. Not cold, just odd, as the realisation slowly dawned upon me, with each and every rain drop that fell reminding me. I still had no where to go.

_They had left._

It was not a question anymore. I wanted more than ever for the earth to swallow me, to end my constant pain and suffering. I could not cope if they had left- which I now knew, they had. I felt my head fall slightly as I looked at my feet, the raindrops dripping out of my hair, falling quickly towards the ground, as a single tear joined their fall.

But suddenly, the rain ceased. Only to be replaced by a hammering sound, equal to the one emitting form the car and roof. I looked up, only to find a pink umbrella above me, pink. A very bright pink. A shade that only one person would dare to buy.

"Alice?" I asked out loud, not entirely believing what I suspected. Only hoping it with every fibre of my body. But then the trilling peal of bells hit my hears, and despite the fact that they were filled by water, I could hear the voice, and there was no questioning who it belonged to.

"Lucie! You are getting _soaked_! What do you think you're doing, wearing _that _in this weather!" I didn't respond rationally to her criticism, as I looked at her pixie face, frowning at my attire, and I hugged her, relief washing threw me, as more tears cascaded towards the ground, then onto her shirt as she responded to my hug. "Lucie?" Alice's voice, was now worried, "Why are you crying?" She towed me gently towards the yellow Porsche, I followed numbly, and I climbed gratefully inside, she was in the front seat in the next second, even before I could blink.

"Oh Alice! I th-thought, you'd l-left.." I tripped over the words slightly, laughing now, through my tears, she smiled warmly at me, understanding portrayed through her golden gaze.

"Of course not silly, why'd you say that? For a moment there I thought this was like your favourite outfit or something," She waved a hand towards my drenched clothes, which, I realised with embarrassment, were starting to turn see through. "and I'd offended you." She chuckled, while I tried to smile reassuringly back at her, but failed. I blinked a couple of times (no doubt looking completely idiotic) to make sure she was really there. _They're still here_, I thought, just as Alice confirmed this. "We won't leave you Lucie, we never intended on doing so." Alice looked at me sympathetically, and there was no denying the truth in her gaze, though I knew I could never be too sure. For I still felt like she was going to vanish any second. She gave a smile of genuine warmth, and I responded with one of my own, even though I knew it looked more like a grimace.

She still looked anxious and quickly pulled a jacket from the backseat, I looked questionably at her as she handed it to me, and she gave out a small sigh at my slowness. I shrugged it on, and couldn't help but breathe the scent of it in; it was the most beautiful scent ever, intoxicating all most. I felt like Swathing myself in the glorious smell, by sniffing it feverishly.

Okay. Maybe that wouldn't look too good.

"I had a vision of this Lucie." She stated calmly, breaking me out of my silent thoughts regarding the smell of the jacket she'd just handed, and for some reason my embarrassment mounted. I hastily looked out the window, and was abruptly shocked to see trees darting past. When had she started driving? She misread my expression and added quickly. "Though, you weren't crying, well, you weren't even outside, I just… knew you needed me, I couldn't see clearly." She sounded annoyed at this, impatient. "I don't know why Lucie, but all the visions I have of you… they're all mixed up, tangled. I can't tell when they're going to happen. I-" Her rant was cut off. And I knew the reason. For my face had turned down.

Why couldn't she see me clearly? Wasn't the answer obvious?

I'm a freak, that's all there is to it.

Wasn't Bella observant?

"Lucie, I don't mean your different in any way, it's just me, I'm not functioning properly…" She sighed and lifted my face up gently with her hand, 'not functioning properly'? What kind of an excuse was that? I wanted to ask her to keep her eye on the road, but knew it would be a wasted effort. So I just obliged by looking at her. "Are you okay though?" Again. Sympathy. Stupid, pointless, unwanted sympathy.

"I'm fine Alice, just, well…" I pondered on telling her about the conversation with my father or not, and decided against it. Not because I doubted her honesty, or ability to keep secrets. It was just because I still couldn't understand the things my father had said.

_It's what your mother tried to stop._

I was still trying to work things out for myself. Namely, what the hell my father had been talking about.

"Lucie, it's okay, you don't have to say." She said honestly, but I couldn't help but detect the hurt in her voice. I was about to apologise, but she changed the subject quickly, to one that I wasn't sure I preferred. "Did you see Jasper's past then?" Her voice was curious, but careful, I didn't answer, just gushed out the first thing that came to my mind at the sound of his name.

"Alice, please tell him I'm sorry,"

"No. enough apologising Lucie You've already been through so-"

"Please," I cut across her, she sighed at my stubborn attitude, "Just, tell him I'm sorry for causing him pain, and that I've already forgiven him," I said quickly, before adding, "and tell him I-I" I struggled for the right word, "understand." I looked down, Alice, did something I didn't expect though. She smiled widely.

"So you did see Jazzy's past!" I was glad at her, she seemed eager, and her voice was no longer saturated with the thing I despised: sympathy.

I nodded, Alice smiled at me, but then looked concerned again.

"Lucie, Jasper's far sorrier than you are." She said in a serious tone.

"I know." I sighed, and then placed my head against the window. I liked the feeling of cold glass against my skin, it was comforting, cold. Easing the pain from my head slightly, dulling the throbbing. I always linked the feeling of cold, like home, and like the Cullens. I smiled against it, knowing Alice could not see my expression because of the hair that had fallen. Her voice sounded again though, and it was quieter than before. I looked up.

"Lucie, can I ask you something?" her voice was hesitant.

"Anything." I said truthfully, gaining a weak smile from her.

"Have you seen my past?"

I just stared at her, shocked at the question, even though it was not unexpected.

"No."

"Could you," She hesitated slightly, twirling a lock of jet black hair round her finger, "Maybe, well, tell me about it when-"

"If." I corrected her.

"Yeah, if, you see it?" Her expression was now anxious, as if we were talking about something very personal. I smiled at her, wanting to give her the same sense of trust she always gave me.

"Of course Alice." Her face lit up considerably, and she nodded her head quickly, now excited, like a small child being given the prospect of having a new gift.

I looked out the window. And I was sad to see the Cullen's drive, not because we'd arrived exactly, but simply because, I _liked _talking with Alice. It was easy, not awkward, filled with spite, or boring. It was nice. Alice seemed to feel the same way, as she grimaced slightly when she got out, though I couldn't be too sure if it was because we'd arrived so soon, or because _I'd _arrived with her. Alice might welcome me, but the others. Well, they were another matter entirely…

We reached the doorway, and I was grateful for the heat the house provided, heat that the Cullen's didn't need. It was nice to escape from the cool February air, (and freezing rain for that matter) I do like the cold, but when you're wearing wet clothes, and it's still hammering down, you can't help but crave warmth.

"Lucie, do you mind, I think someone needs me upstairs." I shook my head, letting her go, and took a deep breath, before walking towards the kitchen. I did not like standing still alone, it made me feel vulnerable all over again. I could not afford to feel like that. Not now. Not ever.

"Lucie?" A voice asked, I swivelled round, I hadn't noticed anyone in the kitchen, but there, by an ornate stove, was a beautiful woman. Her hair falling gently away from her kind face, my memory pictured the face to a name. I hadn't spoken to her before myself.

"Esme?" I asked, even though I knew who she was, having already seen her frequently from two people's perspectives. Bella's as a kind and caring person. Jasper's as a mother, adopted, but just as loyal and loving. They both mirrored the same things; I already knew I was going to like Esme, she was too kind to make me feel nervous.

As I said her name she smiled warmly, and I was glad that I felt no tension between us, she did not look worried, or sympathetic, just kind. She busied her self with the cooker whilst talking.

"Lucie, do you want some muffins, I've just made a batch." She turned suddenly, a wide smile on her face, holding a tray of perfect muffins.

To be truthful, I wasn't hungry, but the look on her face arose the manners within me.

"Sure," I said, maybe slightly over brightly, but thankfully Esme only smiled wider, not noticing the lie in my voice. "What flavour are they?" She gestured one and I took it. It was warm in my palm, and I wrapped my cold fingers around it eagerly.

"Um," Esme hesitated, instantly looking worried, "Well, I don't normally make food, so I thought I'd try a mixture of recipes, this one's; blueberry and chocolate chip?" Her answer ended on a question, I couldn't help but smile at her worry. She was afraid I wouldn't like it, bless her.

I bit into it, and wow, it was good. I smiled slightly as I began to eat faster, I was hungrier than I thought, come to think of it, when had I last eaten?

"Yep," I said brightly, in between mouthfuls. "Definitely, blueberry and chocolate," It really was a lovely combination. "and it's delicious!" Esme positively beamed, with what I assumed was pride, funny how happy she was to see me eating.

"Good! It's nice to finally cook for a change, what with our," She paused, grimacing slightly, searching my face I smiled at her hesitance.

"Special diet?" I prompted, she laughed.

"Yes, I don't get to cook unless we have Bella round, and she always eats beforehand."

"Yeah," I said in a small voice, as Esme started to clean up various cooking utensils.

My stomach couldn't help but twist at the mention of her name. I swallowed the last peace of muffin quietly, it seemed to work its way slowly down my throat. I was no longer hungry.

Because thinking about Bella, made me think about Edward. I'd momentarily forgotten how much he must hate me now, I wanted to place my head in my hands, but that would only attract attention. That, I definitely, did not want. Any more attention, and I might just go mad. Though for some reason. When I thought of Edward, I did not feel worried. Nor guilty, no, what I felt was anger. Anger at him for treating me how he did beforehand. I was silly even to consider him saving me from Jasper. Stupid to jump to conclusions.

"Esme, do you mind, I'm going to," I thought quickly, "find Alice." I lied, Esme just smiled at me before arranging some flowers in a vase on the counter, I walked down the hallway, examining the walls as I went. I was more than a little surprised to see how much artwork there was, all it seemed, original. I wondered who painted the pictures, each and everyone was beautiful, so creative.

I turned, about to walk into the room I recognised as the dining room, the door was ajar, but I stopped. I could hear voices from within it. Heated voices.

I knew I should have walked away then, but curiosity took the better of me. Dimly I heard the over quoted phrase in my head, 'Curiosity killed the cat.' Well, it was good I wasn't a cat then, wasn't it?

Looking through the gap, wide enough for me to see half the room, I saw the two people I'd least expected to see. For there, standing a good 5 yards apart, was Edward and Jasper. Edward was in the centre of the room, whilst Jasper was at the other door way, unwilling, it seemed, to enter fully. And they didn't seem to be having a brotherly- or even remotely friendly for that matter - conversation.

Edward looked at Jasper, and his eyes were familiar to the time after I'd hit Bella, white fury burned in his topaz gaze, he advanced towards him, neither knew I was in proximity. Well, neither seemed to know, I was eavesdropping on them from behind the mahogany door.

"What," Edward spat. "Do you think you're doing in here." His voice shocked me, the malice laced his normally supple words. As were his movements, no longer eloquent and graceful, now they were deadly. Like the movements of a viper before it struck. Jasper walked further into the room, I felt the calm emanating off him, but ignored it, as, it seemed, Edward did. I wondered what an earth had made Edward speak to Jasper like this. Why was he so angry at him?

"Edward, you know how I feel." Jasper's normally controlled voice said, but I realised something, as his eyes met mine briefly. The pain in his voice, I knew, was caused by my scent, Jasper it seemed, knew I was here, whilst Edward didn't seem to have acknowledged that, _not that he cared anyway_. I thought bitterly, the scene of him hitting me flashed behind my now closed lids. Though I opened them again, wanting -despite myself - to see the conversation.

"That does not excuse what you did." Edward's reply was still deadly.

"Almost did." Jasper corrected. What were they talking about?

"The thought was clear Jasper, you were going in to kill." Edward now sounded disgusted.

"Edward," Jasper's tone was almost pleading now, "You know I would never have hurt her."

Oh great. So that was the reason why Edward hated Jasper.

The reason why they were fighting.

Me.

Just great.

"You were about to kill her." The statement was short and blunt, but I sensed more to it. Edward was drawing closer to Jasper now, and sighing slightly, I walked into the room, both heads snapping round to face me. Jasper looked remorseful, and I felt terrible. He of course didn't realise that I'd already forgiven him. Edward just looked shocked. Maybe his senses were down, I mean, couldn't he smell me? My blood, that pulsed through my veins? Blood that had so often been spilt on account of the Cullens. Blood that I would willing give to end the feuds that were evidently brewing. The feuds that had formed all due to one small idiotic person: me.

"Lucie, I'm sorry, you have no idea how much-" Jasper's apology hit me first, I just stared at him sighing.

"Jasper, I-" But someone cut across me. My annoyance (that I did not even know I'd possessed until this moment) mounted. Considerably.

"Jasper, I think you should leave," Edward said with authority, stepping in front of me. The nerve. "You've already proven that you can't control yourself around her." I stared at Edward, appalled, and wondered why he kept referring to me as _her,_ honestly, the way he said it made me sound like I was a victim of the plague. My irritation for Edward rose again, the heat filling me as I stepped in front of him, ignoring his outstretched arm. I pushed against it, but it was like pushing a solid wall. Jasper moved towards me, the apology still apparent in his eyes, the slight movement made Edward hiss.

Jeesh, what was his problem? Why now so protective?

"Stay _away _from her."

"I have a name you know." I muttered crossly, only to be ignored. Edward and Jasper now seemed to be having a staring contest. Edward moved closer, and he seriously looked like he was going to drag Jasper out through the open window.

"Edward," I said impatiently, irritated that he hadn't responded. "don't, I forgive him already." Then, Edward for the first time, stopped. He turned slowly and looked at me, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. His eyes hit mine with the precision of lasers, and I was suddenly aware of the eerie silence that had fallen over the room, like a dark blanket. I glanced at Jasper, his eyes were now morose. Great. I gave him what I could only hope was an understanding smile, before he left. Then the silence suddenly intensified. I didn't even know that that was possible. Of course, Edward was the first to brake it.

"How can you forgive him Lucie?!" He exclaimed exasperatedly as he rounded on me, "He nearly killed you, and you're just going to forget that? Brush it off as an accident? I was only trying to-" But I cut him off, disgusted. I stared back into his eyes, abruptly livid.

"Hypocrite." I whispered. I'd meant to say the words viciously, trying to portray the anger surging through me, but once again I saw his golden gaze, his eyes, now topaz, burning in anger. I hated myself for the fact that they made me feel dizzy and the fluttering sensation that arose within me.

"Excuse me?" The voice was cold.

But it was not Edward, suddenly Bella walked into the room, her eyes narrowed as she observed the scene; Edward and I, alone in a room, inches away from each other. Well, this just looked great. Could things get any worse? "What did you just call Edward?" Her voice was quieter than his, delicate, yet filled with more anger. I wondered whom she'd unleash it on? Not. Only I would have to feel her wrath. Lucky me.

I knew I should feel intimidated. Here I was; arguing with a vampire (one strong enough to kill me in less than a heartbeat, whose family would support him in his actions) - and his girlfriend - who just happened to hate my guts.

So what I said next, was neither expected, nor very wise.

"A hypocrite: somebody who pretends to have admirable principles, beliefs, or feelings but behaves otherwise." I retorted sarcastically. Bella looked as if I'd punched her again. And I actually felt like smiling, for the first time today.

"Yes," She spat, her voice now falsely sweet, and her tone became patronising, as if explaining 1+1=2 to a very small (and stupid) child. Hmm… maybe she and Mr Banner had things in common? "But _why _did you call _my _boyfriend one." At this, she pulled Edward's smooth arm around her. I wondered absently why she'd accented the '_y' _sounds with more venom than usual?

I sighed, thoroughly fed up now, I really have had enough of this tediousness. Come to think of it, staying at home, and even _shopping with Alice_, was better than this. And _that _is saying something. My head had now started to throb, I saw Edward - who had been standing still the whole time, observing - snake his arm around Bella's waist, holding her protectively, finally reacting to her. Bella, naturally, noticed this and smiled warmly up at Edward, only to contort her smile into one of smug malice as she turned back to me.

"Yes, why?" Edward spoke. His voice had lost it's previous angst, now just hard and cold. Despite his hold on Bella, his stance was rigid. I couldn't help but notice the fact that he looked uncomfortable. He was not the only one.

"Because Edward," I replied coldly, mirroring his unconcerned tone. "you did the same as Jasper. Only worse. You nearly killed me, and endangered my life, caused blood the stain the ground, let me suffer. And yet you shout at Jasper? When he didn't even make me spill blood." My own voice sounded odd. It was like ice again; cold and indifferent. "And can't you see? I don't _care_! But still, you accuse Jasper of nearly killing me, and then threaten him to leave, when what you did to me was worse." I finished and Edward and Bella looked shocked, their faces mirrored in surprise at my sudden speech, letting out the anger that had been steadily building inside me. They both knew- all too well, that it was the truth.

The silence intensified. Again.

"Bella! Come upstairs now! You need to have a makeover!" Bella ran from the room, to be tortured by Alice, this was bad. She was willing to be put at Alice's mercy, in order to escape the room. I should have stayed quiet.

Looking round, I saw Edward had left. I was now standing in my room, once again alone. It seemed they didn't need to move. Ignoring me, had the same affect. The numbness started to crawl back. I walked out, deciding I needed to clear my head.

Once I was outside, the rain hit me. Hard. Soaking me once more, though I could not feel it. I could not feel anything, and to be honest, it scared me.

I don't know how long I stood there, I was only aware of Carlisle's voice, coaxing me back inside, but I wanted to stay. The rain was peaceful, so devoid of anything else. Glumly I followed Carlisle back inside, he was called by Esme though, leaving me in the door way.

I hated this hallway, I always ended up in it. I walked swiftly into the next room, the door was open, and I attempted to go through it. But halfway it slammed shut. Leaving my foot in the crevice. Ow. I looked up to see whoever had just caused my poor toe damage. And wasn't surprised when I saw him. Edward Cullen. I shuffled inside, wondering if it would be best to go back to the hallway.

"Hurrumpet…" I muttered darkly in an undertone, momentarily forgetting the fact that vampires had super hearing.

Why did I say it? Edward of course, noticed my mistake at once. The anger flowed hot in my veins, completely erasing the numbness. He was the person who had hurt my toe. And I suddenly wished I had some lead piping. Heavy Lead piping.

"Did you just say _hurrumpet_?" Edward asked sardonically, arrogantly raising his right eyebrow. Yes. Lead piping would be perfect, seeing as we were in the dining room. It could be one big game of _Cludo_. Who killed Edward Cullen with the lead piping in the dining room? Of course, no one would suspect the weak human. In other words, myself. The eyebrow was the main thing that made me say the next sentence (no, it was the fact I couldn't do the same with _my _eyebrow that made me say the next sentence) coldly, as I turned childishly away from him, not wanting his topaz gaze to raise my pulse. A pulse, that drew everyone in the room to me. Though surprisingly, my callousness caused Emmett to start laughing jovially, no doubt, as he saw the startled look on Edward's expression. I hadn't even realised he was in the room.

I retorted with great dignity.

"Why yes Edward. Yes I did."

Honestly, did he not know the meaning of the mighty word: hurrumpet? Edward was seriously living in the past…

Emmett was still laughing, and Edward went awfully quite all of a sudden. But then the atmosphere seemed to stiffen slightly, or at least, it did for me. Rosalie walked into the room, and it honestly hurt to look at her. My own blonde hair looked horrible next to hers still damp from rain, hers fell in cascades of elegant curls, perfectly down her slender back. _Her _clothes clung to her in all the right places, whilst my just plastered to me, still wet from the rain. Abruptly I was very thankful for the light jacket Alice had provided. Water and thin fabric, were not a good combination.

Rosalie walked fluidly over to Emmett's side, and as she drew closer, she seemed even more stunningly beautiful, she saw my awed gazed, and her eyes drew lazily over my own figure, she looked at me as if I were a sea slug. In fact, she looked at me, the way I looked at myself. She cast Emmett a glare, he was still chortling and attempted to stifle his laughed as he caught Rosalie's eye but failed. I smiled then, Emmett was genuinely nice, alright Rosalie hated me, but hey, it was a step up, right?

Okay… Alice, Emmett, Carlisle: they all liked me to an extent. On the other hand… Rosalie clearly hated me; Edward was currently looking sulkily out the window, from my previous remark; Bella had already threatened to kill me if I told anyone about her past; and Jasper… well, he had just tried to suck my blood, a mere eight or so hours previously…

Overall, the people who hated me slightly overruled the liking side. Just a bit.

Rosalie murmured something, though I could not hear it, I cast a glance at Edward surreptitiously, he grimaced as he heard Rosalie, and for once, I was glad of not being able to hear as well as he could. I felt awkward then, though at least the tension could not get any higher.

But then, Bella and Alice entered the room.

I was mistaken. The tension now was equal to likes of someone in close proximity to a lit stick of dynamite. I looked down at my feet hastily at their arrival, Rosalie sighed, at whatever Emmett had just said in an undertone, and promptly left the room. Just leaving: me, Edward, Emmet, Alice and Bella. Take a guess at the one who was least welcomed?

Alice broke the tension by smiling evilly, Edward just grunted, as he heard Alice's thoughts.

"Bella, you did not come shopping yesterday!" Alice trilled.

"Yes, well, I did have a pretty good excuse," Bella said haughtily, but not before she had an after thought, which seriously made me want to hit her. On second thoughts, I'll need the lead piping and the candlestick…

"Why can't Lucie go with you." Bella didn't even have the courtesy to look at me, the one she was condemning to torture.

"Yes, well I had a pretty good excuse too." I said, and everyone turned round at my speech, well, everyone excluding Edward. And all their faces looked sorry again. Ugh, I shouldn't have spoken.

"Well then, Bella, you have o come shopping now!"

"Ooooh! I want to come shopping!" Exclaimed Emmett with enthusiasm, Edward turned to look at him, disgusted. I choked back a giggle.

"No Emmett, we're going girl shopping." Said Alice sternly. Thank goodness I got out of that.

"Dammit!" Emmett swore loudly, a look of genuine disappointment flashing across his face - okay, I was 98% sure he was acting - but still, it was funny.

"Bella, please?" Alice said, now looking like a puppy, Bella just groaned, but complied, she and Alice left. Bella giving Edward a swift kiss before darting out into the rain, and into Alice's Porsche. I knew all to well that Bella had only gone because I had been here. And I think Edward did too.

Emmett had already left the room, no doubt to find Rosalie. Now it was just me and Edward. Well, great.

I shuffled slightly, pondering on whether leaving or not. It struck me, that now Alice had left there was no-one I could really speak to. I was just about to find Esme when Edward spoke, still staring out into the rain.

"I'm sorry Lucie."

He sighed, normally, I would probably accept this, forgive him in an instant. But I still felt angry, frustrated at his dismissive tone earlier, at the way he'd spoken to me without real meaning. The cold indifferent tone he used, whenever Bella was present.

"About what?"

"You're right, I'm a hypocrite."

I didn't quite no what to say to this.

I sighed then, and ran fingers through my still wet-hair, sighing. The same gesture my father made this morning. I could feel Edward's eyes on me, though I did not look up, pretty certain that he would return them to the rain outside.

"Yeah, well I'm sorry too."

I looked up, and was shocked to see Edward's expression, once more angry.

"Why Lucie? _Why_? You're constantly apologising, and yet nothing is ever your fault! Stop it, you only make us look worse." His tone was angry and hard.

What was I meant to say? I'm sorry? Okay maybe not…

I just looked up at him, but stopped half way, unwilling. For I knew as soon as I looked into his smouldering gold eyes, laced with emotion - that I did not want or need to see - that my resolve would be over and I would forget my hate in a heartbeat. Which would no doubt, by faster than usual.

"Yeah well, I can't help it. All I ever do ends up in someone getting hurt." _Namely me_, though it didn't say this. "I hate this Edward, I can't do anything, I'm weak, and fed up. All I ever do is injure myself, which then enforces sympathy from everyone else. I'm sick of being so pathetic."

There was a silence then. Edward was evidently still angry, he replied wryly.

"Don't be so pessimistic."

Yeah, because _he _was a total optimist!

"I'm not Edward, I'm realistic."

"And how exactly," Edward said, his topaz eyes burning into my own, "is staying in close proximity to vampires, who all find your blood exceedingly potent-" He was closer to me now, I smell his breath, intoxicating, much like the jacket's scent. "Realistic?" He breathed the last word, and I almost couldn't answer. My mind had gone blank.

"Nice to know I'm welcomed." I said sarcastically.

"You know, there is a fine line between irony and sarcasm."

"Yes, but using sarcasm is better than portraying how I really feel."

What the hell made me say that?!

Edward shut up. His eyes darting between my own, he kept doing this. Looking straight into my eyes. And to be frank, it was annoying. He of course, did not realise it was the main reason I didn't retort to his comments, because when he did _this_, my mind went blank.

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips then, and I wondered if he'd just read my thoughts? I sincerely hoped not.

"Your eyes are very-"

"Yes, we've already discussed the oddity of my eyes, thank you." I said coldly. He ignored me.

"In fact, I have a hypothesis about them." He mused, smirking now.

"Wow."

"Enough with the sa-

"_That_ Edward," I said, stepping away from him slightly, his lean physique towered over my own. I tried to look taller. And failed. "Was irony."

"Stop distracting me from my hypothesis." He smirked again, and I think I had another quality to add to my list of not liking him. Arrogance. He seemed to have quite a healthy dose of it. "You're eyes, they get greener when your angry, much greener, and when you're happy, they turn back to caramel brown. It makes it very easy to guess your mood."

Well great. So Edward couldn't read my mind, yet he could read my _eyes_, it seemed I would have to be permanently blind around him. He carried on, _still _smirking. Where the heck was my lead piping?!

"Right _now_, you're-"

"Sick of conversations revolving around my _hazel _eyes?"

"Nope, just angry, that's why they're so green." Ugh! His tone was still mocking, did he find it amusing? My irritation- my anger? He was after all - the soul cause of it.

I felt cross again, and Edward was about to face my wrath.

"Edward, can you stop this?"

"Stop what?" He said, with _innocence_.

"Stop acting like this around me when we're alone. You're personality's forever switching, first you seem to like me (or at least, you don't seem to intentionally ignore me,) then the next minute, you hate me. It's one or the other Edward. You can't act like this," I waved my hand at him, "and then act completely differently when other people are around. I don't like fake people Edward."

"And I don't like lies."

His tone stopped my anger. It was flat once more, his eyes burned with too much fervour. Yet he was correct. Though I could not tell him the truth. My whole life had been built around lies, I had to lie to fit in. I've always been different to others. Always been a freak.

So Edward had finally seen through my façade, just like Bella had.

There was a lump in my throat now, and I felt like I was going to burst into tears. I didn't, my eyes dried instantly. I was good at hiding tears, I supposed I should be; I'd had 2 years at getting good at it. In fact, I could probably be classified as an expert. And besides. I would _not _be weak. I just gave him a look, he was still staring at me and so I spoke darkly.

"I guess we know which emotion you've settled on then." knowing full well, that hatred did not cover it. Pure loathing maybe?

"I guess we do."

He turned in a swift motion, and was gone, literally vanishing before my eyes. Though when the door slammed, letting out a gush of cold air, it was not hard to guess where he'd gone off to.

The anger had not yet subsided in my veins. I needed something to improve my mood. And fast. Walking back through into the kitchen, I saw Esme. With a stab, I realised she must have heard everything I'd said.

At this moment I _really_ did not like Edward Cullen.

Though what I felt, was nothing compared to what he felt.

Great. Just _perfect_.

"Esme," I sighed, talking bluntly, before sitting on a stool. "I need another muffin."

***

**This is not a cliff hanger, so don't throw any scissors at me! Okay, so I had to shorten this chapter, because it was too long! And I'm sorry, the first bit of the next chapter, will **_**still **_**be the weekend, Lucie will return to school though- never fear, after all, we can't just forget about dear Mike, can we?**

**The mighty word: hurrumpet? A long story…**

**Anyway, thanks tonnes to those who review! It means the world to me, it's scary how happy I get when I see one :p And I'm sorry for not updating sooner, I had a horrible long car journey with my grandparents, sister and father. My sister kept trying to annoy me, by several painful methods (I think that's her soul purpose in life: to annoy me.) And my granddad's hearing aid kept making high pitched whistling noises… imagine two six hour trips of that! So yeah… grrss..**

**Cheer me up? Hit that review button? Pwease? Pwetty pwease? Pwetty pwease and you get a chocolate and blueberry muffin? And those who write long reviews, well, I still have a few spare Edwards? Appeal to anyone?**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Lily- who has a rather has shortened her authors note! *gasp* And would like some reviews as a reward? Muffins anyone? :p**


	17. The Lies, Deceit and Secrets

**HEYYYYY!**

**So of course, first of all, may I say: 270 REVIEWS!?- WOW! Thanks you guys, you never cease to make me smile! Here is the next chapter, I've written it all tonight, and now its currently 12:03am.. So yup… late, late, late.. And hence the shorter author's note :p Thanks to everyone who reviewed, but especially ScarletRoseX, for forcing me to post this (in a totally nice and un-sadistic way… :p) and for writing a fantastic new story that I highly recommend, check it out!**

**GAHH… I've forgot to put the disclaimer up for the last few chapters, this one counts for all of them okay?**

**Disclaimer: I have NOT , I do NOT, and will NEVER own Twilight. It all belongs to SM, (I just like to torture her characters a bit, kidding… honest… :P)**

**Without further ado, here ya go:**

**What happened last chapter:**

The anger had not yet subsided in my veins. I needed something to improve my mood. And fast. Walking back through into the kitchen, I saw Esme. With a stab, I realised she must have heard everything I'd said.

I really did not like Edward Cullen.

Though what I felt, was nothing compared to what he felt.

Great. Just _perfect_.

"Esme," I sighed, talking bluntly, before sitting on a stool. "I need another muffin."

***

**The Lies, Deceit and Secrets.**

Esme just passed the tray to me, steaming muffins piled upon it. I snatched one up with a little more force than necessary. But I couldn't do much else. At least If I ate, people could not be affected by what I said. Because if my mouth was full of blueberry and chocolate chip muffin, I was pretty sure my sentences wouldn't be too coherent.

I looked at Esme and met her butterscotch gaze, her face portrayed the guilt that I usually felt, though right now, I still felt angry. I bit furiously into my muffin, feeling better as the sweet taste hit my lips. She was the one to speak first, her voice laced with sincerity, I grimaced, knowing all to well, that sincerity was something I neither wanted nor deserved. No, I _definitely _didn't deserve that. With how I acted.

"Are you ok Lucie?" Her voice was tentative.

"No." I mumbled, the thought escaping my lips, hating the fact I that I sounded like a stroppy teenager. And the fact that I grumbled more than mumbled.

But of course, Esme acted as if I was just in my frustration.

"Don't worry, I've got plenty of muffins to cheer you up!" I smiled weakly and gave her a thankful look, Esme was so kind in doing all this, in not persisting answers, even though I knew she had many. I was grateful. I nibbled on the muffin, though my previous hunger had significantly abated.

"Thank you Esme." I said, she smiled before sweeping her long elegant hair into a pony tail and beginning to clean the already prefect surface. It seemed Esme was a very clean person. I frowned, thinking of Edward, his last words still in my memory fresh and painful. Only four words, yet they were enough to make my world crumple. I hated the weak feeling surging through me, reading to take over. I tried to force the anger, make it stronger. I would _not _feel weak.

Esme spoke again, though her back had turned the moment before, I looked up seeing her scrutinise my frown.

"Don't let him get to you Lucie."

I stared at her, shocked at this, as I'd presumed she would scold me for my actions, after all, it was I who had been sarcastic, Edward had only tried to apologise. The thought if him made my stomach do strange things, half in confusion, and the other in the still prominent anger. I concentrated more on the anger, it was the key for not feeling weak, though I hated the actions it caused.

After all, Edward _had _been arrogant, cocky, and cryptic, and mentioned the fact that he hated me. I had an excuse, well, sort of.

"Lucie, I know you feel bad but _none _of this is your fault." Esme me continued, emphasising the fact I had done nothing wrong. I hadn't realised that I hadn't replied, I looked up apologetically, moulding the muffin in my hands. She thought this wasn't my fault? Did she really think that people were arguing of their own accord? I felt the anger ebbing again. I couldn't help it. Why was I not being blamed for all I'd done?

How wrong she was. _Everything _was my fault.

"Thank you Esme," I sighed, hating the fact that she felt the need to comfort _me_, when I was the least in the need of sympathy. And the one least favourable of it. "for everything, for being so kind and considerate despite all I've caused," She made a move to speak, her eyes widening as I told her this, I continued before she could stop me. "No, please, listen. I know you think that this isn't my fault, or at least deny the fact that it is. I'm sorry, really sorry, please don't apologise yourself, it'll make me feel worse. I forgive Jasper, and I'm sorry he's suffering - he shouldn't. I-I… well I don't know how I feel about Edward." I confessed to her, she sat down, though I knew she didn't feel tired of standing, she listened, not interrupting, and so, hesitantly, I continued.

"I don't know, one minute he's fine, and then the next, he acts like he hates me, which is what I deserve, but I can't deal with him switching all the time. He gets me angry Esme, I feel awful for acting how I did, talking like that - but I had to. He was blaming Jasper, and-" I felt myself beginning to choke on the words, I tried to force them out with more clarity. "Jasper shouldn't be blamed, and I got cross at him for shouting at Jasper, when he'd done the same to me. I just, well, like I said, _don't know, _I seriously think he hates me now Esme. Really I do. He's probably wishing I was dead." My voice became faint and trailed off. Esme just stared at me, pausing before replying, her angelic voice calm and peaceful. If I didn't know better, I would have suspected she had a power akin to Jasper's, what with her calming affect on myself; like the sea breeze.

"Lucie. Do you really think Edward hates you? Wishes you dead?"

I nodded solemnly.

_He could feel nothing less._

She sighed, and lifted my face, which had fallen, staring at the polished wood of the table. I stared into her eyes, and saw the consideration in her gaze. "Lucie, can I ask you a question?"

"Yup." I mumbled. I would answer anything Esme asked, I did not deserve her level of kindness.

"Do you know who saved you from Jasper that night?"

I frowned at this, in confusion, because it struck me that I _didn't_. The obvious answer was Carlisle, it was evident he'd sterilised my newly opened cut, and he was after all, the only one capable of handling the bloodlust. Which was the reason I'd ruled Alice out, remembering her clawing the earth as she prevented from running at me, and Edward, as he stared at the dark stain on my side.

"Carlisle." I stated, sadly, wondering if Esme realised how good natured her husband was. Just like herself.

She continued to stare at me, and shook her head.

If I wasn't confused before, I sure was now.

"It wasn't Carlisle Lucie."

"But, the cuts, the smell- the blood…" I gushed out my words, who else could have saved me?

_Could it be? No - that was preposterous._

"It was Edward Lucie."

I was pretty sure my jaw dropped, because I _had _considered him. Now realising the words I'd heard before sleep were more than a dream. As I thought about his apology, his actions towards Jasper, his response to my sarcasm, now it all made sense.

And the anger ceased completely, becoming steadily replaced with guilt.

"Oh."

She smiled ruefully, and stood up.

"I don't think you realise how sorry _he _is. I know he sometimes doesn't show it, but that's just who Edward is. Don't give him too much of a hard time, he is good at heart." Did she doubt I thought any less of him? "Lucie, I'm going to do find Carlisle, I need to talk to him, you don't mind-"

"No, it's okay, sorry for keeping you." I cut across her, standing. As she left the room, thankfully at a speed in which made it impossible for her to see my desolate expression, that I'd been holding for so long.

Why couldn't the earth swallow me now?

I escaped the room quickly, having the sensation of worried eyes following my back. I didn't know exactly what I wanted, or where I was going, I just wanted to get out. To escape the constant chaos and disarray left in my treacherous path. I had to get out, and so that's exactly what I did.

As soon as the cool raindrops hit my face, I felt instant relief, only hoping that my feelings - completely muddled and confused - could be so easily swayed and washed away. The sky above was turbulent, a dark grey, opaque darkness. The wind howled slightly, whipping my clothes around me, the jacket was steadily getting wet. If I'd began to dry off, then the moment had now left, for I was once again soaking.

I lifted my face to the sky, my vision blurring as I looked through the droplets, I felt oddly calm here, despite the creaking of treetops, pummelling rain, and thunder from above. For the first time that day, felt at ease. Myself.

Of course, the feeling was short lived.

For I saw a figure, standing a little away from myself, before the trees, yet not in the cover of them. The person did not seem to have noticed my arrival. Curiosity got the better of me, and I felt myself being drawn towards the figure, though I made no conscious effort to do so.

But once I was two meters away, it was not hard to guess who was in the rain. No-one could mistake that physique, nor the reddish brown hair, now plastered across his marble skin. Pure raindrops like diamonds encrusted in it. Standing six foot, two inches, he was deadly still. His head bowed unlike mine had been previously, his palms upward towards the sky.

He had never looked so godlike.

I tripped slightly on my approach and he turned. Slowly facing me. And it seriously felt like I would explode.

Purplish shadows were forming under his eyes, mauve, a light shade of purple, empathising his prominent high cheek bones, and long eyelashes. I suddenly wished I hadn't come out. Facing him was easier in my mind than reality. Still, I could not move as he drew closer to me, a slow pace for one like himself, one who could be next to me in a millisecond. And yet, he was moving oddly, still graceful, like a dance, yet slowly, as if he was afraid of me running. It was the same movement one would perform on approaching a shy animal, one that you didn't want to scare. I didn't look into his eyes. I couldn't, not without my thoughts becoming incoherent.

It was only when his voice reached me, melodic and flawless, did I remember. Because his tone was strained, in defiance. Of course, I'd forgotten how much he hated me.

"What are you doing." He didn't bother to say my name, it was obviously too informal, and right now, he sounded the most formal that I'd ever heard him, though it sounded odd when spoken through clenched teeth. And he could only be trying not portray his anger.

I envied him them; wished so badly I could feel the anger he could. Wished that I didn't feel the way I felt. It disgusted me. The rain was still falling, though the sound now seemed distant, as if falling silently, the hammering sound was now reduced to a light patter as it hit the trees, despite the fact, that it was raining no less than before.

"I'm doing the same as you." My voice was faint. Though I knew he could here it.

"And what would that be exactly." His tone was disbelieving. I didn't care, and I just said the truth.

"Escaping."

"From what?"

_My feelings. My stupid feelings plaguing my already overcrowded mind._

"Sympathy." I lied smoothly, It was probably the most convincing lie I'd ever said, though I supposed it helped when you only said one word, and when you were staring at your feet, unwilling to meet the other's gaze.

"And you think I wanted to escape sympathy." Edward asked wryly, I could not see his expression, keeping my eyes firmly locked on the ground.

"No, I think you were escaping."

"From what?"

"Myself of course." I said, this indifferently, as if I did not care he'd left to get away from me. When he spoke next, his tone was softer though, no longer through clenched teeth. Though all this was probably just my imagination.

"Perceptive of you." He only whispered this, yet it confirmed my previous statement. I was aware of the howling wind, whipping my hair across my face, and I tried to brush it from my eyes, but failed, as it continued to whip around. I looked up, where my vision became clearer. Edward noticed all of this, though he evidently felt no need to brush the hair from his face. He just stood their stock still, and knew he was looking at me. But I did not meet his gaze when I spoke.

"I'm sorry Edward, I had no idea it was you who saved me from Jasper," I looked at him fleetingly, only to see his eyes averted from my own, he was staring at the forest, frowing, but he looked at me once I'd spoken and I couldn't bear the look in his eyes, the anguish. So once again, I looked down.

"So thank you." I whispered, the wind whipped at me again, forcing me to look up. I knew I should be freezing, but with Edward's presence, I felt as if I were on fire, no longer tired, but full of electricity. It was probably adrenaline. Yes, that would explain why my heart continued to beat furiously.

He did not reply at first, though I could tell he was staring at me, I shivered, despite not being cold. And of course, he misinterpreted this. His tone was brisk, dismissive, I could tell he wanted to be alone. Though I could not leave, not with the knowledge of what being alone did to me.

"It's cold."

"And yet you're standing outside." I retorted, realising the mistake the second the sentence left my lips.

"I am a vampire, I am the same temperature as this, unlike yourself, who isn't suited to it." he spat the word vampire like poison, it made me want to stand back, though I didn't, replying casually. Determined to stay.

"And I already told you, I like the cold."

He paused before thinking up another excuse. Jeeez, did he hate me _that _much?

"It's raining."

"_And_…"

"You're getting wet."

"So are you." Was it just me? Or was a slight smile playing on the corners of his lips?

"You'll catch a cold in this weather."

"Colds have nothing to do with it being cold, in fact, the virus that causes the flu or colds, thrives in warm atmosphere. People just get more colds in the winter because they spend more time indoors. But it is not the cold weather that _causes_ the cold, it just might make it easier to spread the virus. So no, I won't catch a cold, thank you for your concern though."

It was a lengthy retort, but it worked, the bluntness seemed to have shut him up, now I assumed, he had run out of excuses. But nonetheless, his reply was smooth, humour evident, and I could tell without looking, that he was trying to hide a smile.

"Touché."

"I know, I could Mr Banner a run for his money." I said coolly.

"I don't doubt it."

He had drawn closer to me. And finally, I looked into his eyes, trying to portray my sincerity, only wishing that my own eyes had the same effect as Esme's had previously.

"Edward? Do you forgive me?

"For you calling me a hypocrite? And for your doubt in my heroic act?" His sentence was arrogant, though his voice wasn't it was hollow, the anguish slipping slightly.

"Yes, I breathed." for doing all that."

"Only on one condition."

"Anything."

"You forgive me for how I was earlier."

"Already done." I replied, completely truthfully.

"Fine, you're forgiven." He said calmly, and I tried to smile slightly, but failed once more, I knew my expression looked more like a grimace. I couldn't help it.

For I knew that the amount of fervour in my voice was wrong, and I knew that despite everything I'd tried to do previously. I was failing, because I was being weak. I should not be feeling calm around Edward, anger should be making my heart beat furiously, not whatever else was. I was completely unjust, it was not fair. My life wasn't fair. And I wasn't being fair. The phrase: 'life's not fair.' was underrated, for it was the simple and utter truth.

Bella did not deserve to have to put up with me.

But Edward did not deserve to be lied to.

Should I tell him about Jacob, even if he didn't believe me, would it be right to do so?

Edward broke me out of my thought, and I didn't know how to respond to his question, which he seemed to use frequently. Though this time, it seemed more earnest than ever before.

"What's wrong Lucie? What are you thinking?" There was longing in his voice. And I wished desperately that I could answer his second question, wished that I didn't have a stupid gist that enabled me to see people's past. I wished it all didn't have to be me. As it was though, I could only answer his first, and I did so, wishing that I could answer both. Yet knowing that only Bella could tell him about her past, not myself, even if it caused me anguish and pain, I would not intervene. I had to do this.

_Only I should suffer. No one else._ My thoughts said, and they were of course, correct.

I felt a cool hand lift my face up, gently, forcing my eyes to look into his. I tried to ignore there intensity, there depth, as if I had the ability to see right into his untarnished soul. But failed. So, I sighed, and admitted the truth to him, like so often, whenever I stared into his eyes. Though only, to the first question; for the other, would have to remain unanswered. I couldn't lie to him, not when he stared at me like that. Not with the way his eyes seemed to x-ray me, they would pick up on the lie, before it escaped my lips.

"I don't know what to do Edward."

"_All things being equal, the simplest solution is often the right one."_ He murmured calmly, a smile turning up the corners of his lips.

An from somewhere inside me, the annoyance towards him flared again, even though he wasn't being overly arrogant.

Yeah, because _that _helped.

"Don't tell me Occam's razor." I snapped at him, he raised his eyebrow, surprised.

"You knew that?" His voice was incredulous.

"Yes." I said crossly, honestly, he was no better than Mr Banner or Bella, constantly doubting my intellect… Do I have a sign on my head saying 'incredibly thick'?

He chuckled, I could tell he enjoyed my irritation. He was further away from me now, but still close, about three feet apart. He looked back at me, his face devoid of all its previous angst, making him look even more beatific, despite the rain soaking him, it only added to the effect. Causing his hair to be showered with diamonds, his lean physique and muscles prominent through the wet fabric. Clinging to his body. I was once again, very glad of the jacket I was wearing, he might look appropriate with his clothing see through, I however, would not.

When I drew my eyes away from his features though, I found his eyes, and instantly blushed at his raised eyebrow. But it wasn't because I was annoyed I couldn't do the same. I really hoped he hadn't seen my eyes rake his figure. Thank goodness he couldn't read my mind. _That _was one thing I was glad about.

"Lucie?" he asked casually, and I felt myself realise how easy it was to talk to him, despite all that had happened.

"Hmmm?" I mumbled, feeling a strong urge to look at the floor again, not wanting to be swayed once more by his penetrating gaze. I forced myself to keep looking at him though, and was proud when found my pulse was steady, no longer beating embarrassingly loud.

He was smiling now, a strange glint in his eye, in amusement.

"What's so funny? Well, It's me I presume, it tends to be, but, err, what particular part?" My sentence didn't really make sense as it gushed out, Edward grinned wider.

"Well, hmm, never mind."

I glared at him.

And of course, he smiled wider.

"So, what were you doing before Alice dragged you here?" he asked, as if we were in a normal conversation, not standing outside in a thunder storm, with rain soaking both of us. I knew what he was trying to do. And it wasn't going to work.

"Stop trying to avert the conversation. What is so funny!" my tone sounded like a growl, making Edward grin crookedly showing a pair of perfectly white teeth devoid of vampire fangs. Was there any disadvantages to being a vampire? Okay, ignoring the whole bloodlust and inability to sleep _and _supposedly being eternally dammed. I mean physically…

"Not unless you tell me what you're thinking."

Damn. He had me there. Stupid Edward. Well no, annoyingly smart Edward.

"Now," He continued smugly, evidently pleased at how my face was contorting in annoyance_. What was so funny?! _"What were you doing exactly, Lucie?" His tone took on that polite gentlemanly voice. And it seemed to up my irritation a notch.

"Doing the English essay." I replied bluntly. "Have you done it?" I knew he could do so in a second, and that his English was far superior to the teacher's, but I was going to play along with his game. Hoping that somewhere along the lines I would find out why he had prevented form laughing when he looked at me.

"Nope." he said, averting his gaze to the trees, still flailing in the wind. In fact, they were thrashing about. It must be freezing, though I still felt heated, the cold was not affecting me as yet.

"Edward! It's due in tomorrow," I gasped in mock horror "will you do it later?"

"Nope, not if I can help it."

"Why? You need, a good education…" I trailed off, knowing full well that Edward certainly did not need a good education, seeing as he already had an amazing one. He looked over at me an smirked slightly, "Education is important, school however, is another matter." The way he said it was dark, dislike was evident. I just laughed, completely agreeing to this. I liked the feeling as I laughed, enjoyed the lightness it created. I felt almost free, it had been a long time since I'd really done so.

But as I thought about what Edward said, I realised that maybe I wasn't the only one who found school tedious?

"School. Pointless, irrelevant, tiring school." I stated smiling

"School. Futile, superfluous, strenuous school."

"Utterly correct, screw school!"

"Right." He chuckled at my enthusiasm, and my heart skipped a beat at the sound. "Screw it."

But then, I realised his methods of distracting were working, and exceedingly well…

I was about to retort to his comment, but not before my phone vibrated. I didn't answer at first, because it was a complete surprise no one _ever _called me. I wondered who it was. Though the most likely person should be my father, I doubted it. Him and new technology didn't mix.

"Lucie," Edward sighed, "you do know that when that vibrates, it generally means someone's calling you. And when someone calls you you're _meant _to answer-"

"Shut up Edward." I retorted, though not angrily, fumbling with my pocket, and struggling to prise it out from the wet fabric. Finally it was free, but as my wet fingers closed around the small device, it fell, and splashed into a muddle. The vibrating ceased and bubbles emitted from the almost black puddle, with ripples forming each time a raindrop his its normally smooth surface.

"Edward!" My head snapped up and glared at him, as if the whole occurrence was purely his fault, and not due to my inability to hold something. But Edward looked just as surprised at himself for not catching the phone. He bent down quickly and retrieved it, though now the screen was black.

"It's broken."

"_Really_? I'd never of guessed."

"Enough with sarcasm."

"Enough with stating the obvious."

"Good point." he muttered.

"I know, but that's _not_ the point, why didn't you retrieve it? What were you doing? Staring at me?" At this, Edward looked slightly sheepish, and abruptly changed the subject.

How typical.

"I think it was your father Lucie, what with what happened this morning…"

"Yeah, I think it probably is," I said, taking the phone from him, but as soon as I touched Edward's skin, the reality of his words hit me, I stared at him intently, determined to work out his response. "wait - how on earth do you know about that?! With my father?"

He looked away and I could tell he'd slipped up, he managed to mumble a reply, which was incidentally, one that I was not satisfied with. In the least.

"Alice mentioned it."

But I hadn't told Alice…

"Lucie, seriously, if it is your father, I think you should go home to him, does he usually call you."

I bit my lip, confused and worried, and guilty all at once, because I agreed with Edward, and I knew it was him. I only hoped he'd forgive me, and accept the fact that I simply _couldn't _leave Forks… I just couldn't.

"Edward? Do you mind taking me back?" I asked hesitantly, he shrugged casually.

"That's what I was implying, anyway, you need to get out of this cold weather, I may not be able to feel it, but I'm sure you can." He said, towing me towards his Volvo by the arm, I felt very small then. Being towed as if I was unable to walk.

"Don't tow me, I can walk." I muttered indignantly.

"Yes, but seeing as I know you'd object to me carrying you, towing was the next best option," he said as I got inside the shiny Volvo. It made my tattered old blue car look bad, and the worst thing was, I knew this was nothing compared to the rest of them.

The ride was perfectly fine, Edward drove expertly, though admittedly a little (well, a _lot_) too fast for my liking, I only noticed and was drawn out of the conversation when I looked out the window to see a streak of green flash past. And looked towards the dashboard, which said that we were travelling at 100 miles per hour.

"_Edward_!" I screeched. "Slow _down_!"

And of course, being him, he ignored me.

Hence the sulky mood the whole way back.

Once he pulled into the familiar drive I looked at him again, only to find him staring at me, a smile playing on the corners of his lips once more. It reminded me of earlier, when he was trying not to laugh at something-

"Lucie," He said, as I climbed out the car,

"Yeah?" I said, now feeling cold as the rain whipped across my front, I pulled the jacket round me tightly. And Edward smirked again. Which, oh-so-surprisingly, not improve my mood. In fact, it only aggravated it.

"You really want to know why I was smiling earlier?" I knew I should retort coolly, dismiss his remark, state that I did not want to know, or care. But, being myself, I didn't.

"Yes." I mumbled.

"Sorry? Didn't quite catch that?" Edward grinned cockily. Didn't hear that? Right, and his vampire hearing has just eluded him for the time being has it? I glared at him, and saw the reflection of my eyes in the car window, sure enough, they were now emerald coloured. Hmm, I wonder what mood I was in?

"I said: yes." I muttered, and walked towards the door, hoping that in doing so, he would reply. My tactics worked. He drove back towards the road, turning expertly. Show off. Stupid Edward. Stupid shiny Volvo. I knew my car was feeling intimidated by the inanimate vehicle.

"Well, just ask yourself where Alice got that jacket from, or more to the point, who's it is." He sped off, leaving me standing stupidly in the rain. Gaping after him.

So _that's _why it smelt so darn nice!

"Stupid Edward, Stupid shiny Volvo owner." I muttered, walking into the house, not realising the fact that my father was before me, well, that was until I saw his green boots, really odd green boots in fact. Only my father would wear such an atrocity, Alice, would probably faint at the sight of him.

I looked up slowly, as the guilty feeling seeped back in. As I met his eyes, I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head.

"Dad, I'm sorry. Really sorry please don't-"

But I was cut off, as my oxygen left me, for my father had just given me a bear tight hug. He talked into my hair, and I smiled against his chest. Feeling once more, like a little girl.

"It's okay Lucie, you're forgiven as always, anyway, I should be apologising," I wanted to object but he continued, "look, we won't move well, at least not yet, I promise we won't go unless you want to." _So never then? _"As long as you promise not to scare me again honey, seriously, I can't cope when you run off like that!"

I entangled myself from his grip and smiled up at him.

"I promise dad, sorry if I scared you."

"That's all right then, oh, and…" he trailed off, a glint in his eyes.

"You want me to make you an extra-special-supper, to make up for it?" I asked, grinning, and he returned it. Looking like a small child who's just been told they now own a chocolate factory.

"Could you? With the fillets grilled and that special sauce you make that goes with the-"

"Special potatoes, yeah I know dad!" I smiled and proceeded to make the meal.

When it was all cooked, I brought two plates back to the dining room table, and my father smiled up at me affectionately, and I returned this. We began to eat, and my dad complemented me on my amazing cooking skills, I just smiled, knowing that they were in fact pretty rubbish. Because the truth was, the so called 'special sauce' was really just some plain salsa, and the rest was easy. Could only cook a few nice (and remotely edible things) but they tasted five star quality, well, at least when compared to my father's…

But after we'd finished, my dad spoke, with the air of holding a very important and exciting secret.

"Honey, we've got guests tomorrow!" He blurted out. I looked up from my finished plate, completely and utterly surprised.

"Really?" I asked in disbelief, who'd visit us? Did dad even know anyone from Forks?

"Yep, and old friend of mine," _evidently, he did… "_though I can't say who! It'll be a surprise! They're coming after school tomorrow. I can't wait for you to meet them." _So there's more than one? _This was getting odder by the minute.

I complained a little and tried to make him say who it was, or who they were. But my father didn't budge, stubborn as ever. Just repeating the sentence: 'it's a surprise!' he knew I hated surprises, what with being used to knowing everything.

In the end, I gave up, it was already 10pm, and abruptly, I felt immensely tired, stripping off into the shower, the water fell alike to the rain before, though it was significantly warmer. Once I'd washed and brushed my teeth, I pulled on my pyjamas. And climbed into bed. Feeling sleepy. Though that was not the only thing.

Something wasn't right. And it took me a while to realise what it was.

Because tugging on the elusive edges of my subconscious, was the reason why I'd left the house, and my father this morning. It wasn't his threat to leave. It was what he'd said.

And now the thought came back, sending an unexpected shiver of fear shake me.

_It's what your mother tried to stop._

The fear that shook me was the one I was most afraid of. For it was the simple and undeniable fear of the unknown. I knew my face was now drained of colour, and so I tried to regain some life into my features as I saw the light outside the door of my room.

My father came in, and sat on the edge of my bed, scrutinising my expression, and judging by his which was portraying worry, my acting skills didn't seem to be working. He smiled at me and talked in a quiet voice, I knew he was trying to change my expression, I knew he only wanted me to be happy. So I listened quietly and intently.

"Honey, do you remember when you were only five, and your mother had just told you about how dangerous it was to run with the scissors?" I just looked at him, what was he going on about… scissors?

"Where did this come from dad?" I asked warily, finding my voice, intrigued by the random memory, which for some reason, I couldn't yet recall. He just grinned widely, his eyes distant, remembering.

"You ran into the room with scissors, holding them up like a God and shouted at me, incredibly happy at your achievement." He started to laugh again, and I couldn't help the small smile that gently fell across my face. My father was always one to make me feel content, despite all else. I really, truly loved him, and I knew the emotion was mirrored.

"What did I say?" I asked, curious now, despite the randomness.

"You said to me: 'Daddy! I ran with scissors and I lived!" and I started laughing, when you thrust them at me, as if you'd just saved the world." he smiled affectionately at me and ruffling my hair.

"Oh yeah!" I said, finally remembering, and squirming out of his fingers "And then mum came in telling me never to do that again, and I repeated my amazing achievement." I said calmly, I thought I'd broken a record or something back then, in my innocence as a child I had been told _never _to run with scissors. It was forbidden. I started to laugh too, but the sound soon left, leaving me once again empty, as I thought about her, my mother. I could tell there was now an awkward silence falling between my father and I, because of the mention of my mother, and I knew he was thinking the same thing, but this thought was cut off short. As my dad stood up then, kissed me on the head and murmured into my hair, like he used to do when I was little. In the days when life had been so much simpler.

But anything was simpler than my life now I supposed.

"That's right honey, I love you, never forget that." He walked to the door, but paused, I whispered my reply, pulling the duvet around me. Liking the sense of comfort it provided.

"I won't daddy, and I love you too."

"You'll always be my special girl sweetheart, don't let anything come between us, okay?"

"I won't daddy." I whispered again.

"Night then, have sweet dreams."

But how could I dream? When my living life and night was consumed by nightmares?

"Night." I said, but it was too late, my father had left the room, and I was just lying there, the window wide open, and the night air howling, causing the curtains to twist and turn, though despite this. I was not cold. Again, the feeling returned, the numb sensation seeping into me.

And as I drifted off into an uneasy sleep, one question plagued my mind, which made my stomach twist in worry.

_Was my father hiding something from me?_

Though, I already knew the answer, in fact, I was certain of it.

Because deep within me, I knew the answer was yes.

My father couldn't trust me with the secret.

And that alone, scared me more than anything.

***

**Can anyone guess who the **_**guests **_**may be? Tee he!- extra special prize to those who do!**

**Okays, yesh, I lied… this isn't school is it? *gasp* I'm sorry, really sorry, but I had to split it into two again. I swear on my life that Lucie will return to school next chapter! Okay?! :p **

**And I know, all of you probably are thinking: 'what about Bella?' Well don't worry, this chapter was really just there so you can see that Edward's not in a big strop with Lucie and so you can see a bit more of her father's personality. But, with regarding Lucie and Edward, please don't think they're best buds now… because Lucie's still annoyed with his little arrogant tendencies, and of course, that whole conversation happened, **_**without **_**Bella present! I think it would have been a little bit different if she was there… **

**And some people asked if Jasper will apologise better, don't worry, he will in due course! As will Rosalie's - so far mysterious character - never fear!**

**Anyway, thanks for reading, please review! PLEASE! As requested, I am giving out cranberry muffins, as some very brave reviewers gave up chocolate for lent, and for those who write nice long reviews, they get a free Jasper, instead of Edward… because, he was requested, along with the different type of almighty muffin ;)**

**So hmms.. That's another chapter, please tell me what you think! I was thinking, maybe this chapter could boost this story up to 300 reviews? Okay, yeah, maybe not… but a girl can dream right? **

**Lily- who may eat all the cranberry muffins **_**and **_**then turn obese as a consequence, **_**and then **_**DIE as a bigger consequence- unless people take them away by reviewing. (so If you look at it that way…. Reviewing saves my life! You could all be heroes! :p)**


	18. Ominous Truths Revealed

**Heyyy! **

***warning: annoyingly long A/N, this is what happens when I go without fanfiction for a weekend. Yeah. Not pretty…***

**291 REVIEWS! Yaaayyyyy! (thanks loads, oh, and I thought… seeing as last chapter didn't boost this up to 300, this one could? Please? I'll be MEGA happy! Dangerously so. So much so that… I might update EXTRA fast… are you hearing me people? Extra fast update if 300 reviews? Come on, that's an offer you cannot refuse! :p) **

**Guess what? I AM ALIVE! (thanks to the reviewers who reviewed last chapter, and therefore stopped me from becoming obese from over eating too many muffins and then dieing as a consequence, wow, that's a mouthful. Try saying it all in one breath… !) Oh, and just for the record, for those who are worried about my health (bet you ALL are, right? Tee hee!) I am not obese, or any where near. So don't worry, I won't die anytime soon, and then not update because I'm dead. But I DID find that putting my life under risk earned over 20 reviews. Hmmss… very suspicious.**

**So yeah, thanks to all who review, it means a lot! Plus, your reviews are taken into serious account, and change what I write… so say what you feel, if you hate how the plot is moving, feel free to state that. I'll just have to feel depressed for a day or two, but hey, I'll get over it! (and yes, day or two is an exaggeration. Maybe minute or two would be more accurate?)**

**Okay, so I figured that each time I write on of these author's notes, I tend to say THANKS a lot, and then babble a bit about my boring life, and use it as an excuse for late updates… So yeah. I apologise for all that you have to endure. An yes. I also apologise for the freakishly long author's note in this.**

**I have one thing to say: be prepared for more of it. Okay?**

**Anyway, please review this, I've had it finished for 2 days already, but I've been in London, so I couldn't update. **

**Here it FINALLY is ;)**

**What happened last chapter:**

And as I drifted off into an uneasy sleep, one question plagued my mind, which made my stomach twist in worry.

_Was my father hiding something from me?_

Though, I already knew the answer, in fact, I was certain of it.

Because deep within me, I knew the answer was yes.

My father couldn't trust me with the secret.

And that alone, scared me more than anything.

***

****

Ominous Truths

Rolling off the bed, is not the best way to wake up. Though it is however, a very effective method, as I found out this morning. Stupid restless sleep, wasn't it enough that I talked; slept walked; and always seemed to kick the sheets of the bed each night? And now I fell out of bed too? Great. What a prefect way to start the day…

My dreams had been chaotic last night, my and so my thoughts were subdued, as rubbed my head slightly from my fall. There had definitely been several, I knew that much. Yet they all seemed distorted, and vague, each was distant. Only one stayed in my mind, the least blurred; yet just as confusing. And, the most disturbing.

_A dark forest, with wisps of mist rising and falling, movement as I drew nearer, steadily being pulled forward. The figure standing out from behind a tree, motioning with a pale finger, unable to see his face. Walking forward, ready to obey the person, wrapped up in a dark cloak, the mystery igniting the curiosity._

_Something pulling, holding back, turning, looking towards the second figure, still immersed in shadow like the first. Suddenly knowing danger, trying to run, being unable to breathe. A pair of ice hands covering my lips a whisper in the ear._

"_Finally, we're reunited."_

I shook myself slightly. Trying to forget the silly dream. Yes, it was confusing, and blurred, but still, that didn't exclude the fact that it was creepy.

Actually, I didn't have any dreams last night.

I only had nightmares.

I proceeded to the bathroom, discarding the thoughts. I was awake now, that was all that mattered. I stripped from my pyjamas, and hopped into the shower. I knew this would allow me to think, but frankly, I didn't care. My hair felt nicer washed, and I needed to wake up. Slowly I turned up the heat on the shower, relishing in the warmth it provided, and willing the water to wake me up a bit more. But then, the reality of my day hit me. With the force of a ten tonne truck travelling at it's maximum velocity.

I had school.

Well, great.

I finished washing my hair quickly, and promptly began looking for new clothes, a cream towel wrapped firmly around me. I selected the first washed things, a pair of jeans and a tight small blue t-shirt. The weather outside however, with the rain from last night having evidently not subsided, looked, well. Wet.

I grabbed a black jumper and hurriedly headed downstairs.

A sensation crawled along the back of my neck then; an unpleasant one. I felt as if I'd forgotten something. But, dashing into the kitchen, I saw the time: _8:15,_ well crud! I was already late. I was about to depart swiftly before calling to my father to wake up, when I noticed the note on the counter. Opening it, I saw my father's messy scrawl, easily recognisable in the fact that it was nearly totally illegible.

_Hey Honey! You've slept for a while, but I don't have the heart to wake your pretty little face up, (or I just don't want to face your morning wrath!) but I'm going to work early anyways. See you after school, don't be late back, remember; we have visitors! _

_Love you sweetie_

_Dad. _

I smiled slightly at the message when I ran to the car, shielding myself as best I could from the rain. Still pouring heavily down, the dark rain clouds firmly in place above. The overwhelming depressing atmosphere.

_Well hey! It was pathetic fallacy! _Great…

The blue car's engine purred sleepily into life as I turned on the ignition. I liked this car, despite its old paintwork, and old engine and the old- well okay, it was just old in every respect. It had character though, not like Edward's Volvo. This car was hard going; long lasting. A nice car. Edward's shiny Volvo, was just that - a stupid shiny Volvo, that continued to make the other poor vehicles look bad because it was shinier than the rest of them!

What the hell was I ranting on about? Sighing, I discarded my stupid thoughts and drove through the rain, squinting at the windscreen, trying to see throw the waves of water that continued to fall. It got better, and soon I didn't need to pay so much attention to the road, I thought about the classes I had.

And stopped thinking after a second. Because I suddenly knew what I'd forgotten.

My blue bag was still at the Cullen's house. And it had my English essay in.

And I had English second.

Well, looks like it wouldn't be just Edward who turned up empty handed then, would it?

I'd reached the school by now and quickly hopped outside, only to find an umbrella sheltering me from the rain. I looked up, expecting to see Alice's pixie like face scowling at my attire. And muttering about the state of my shoes.

So you can imagine my surprise when I saw Mike holding it, and standing _very _close to me.

Okay, so my first feeling was the initial surprise and shock, at why Mike was there, instead of Alice. Then, I felt awkward, by the fact that I had suddenly frozen and was probably staring at Mike too much. Then I wondered how an earth Mike had just managed to appear, seemingly out of thin air and place an umbrella above my head.

Wait, hang on.

Since when did boys carry umbrellas?

"Hey Lucie, couldn't let you get wet now, could I?" Mike grinned down at me, my back was still pressed against the side of my car, in fact, Mike was making it hard for me to breathe.

"Oh, right, thanks." I mumbled, trying to squirm free of Mike, one of his hands was holding the umbrella, but the other was getting closer and closer to my shoulder. Ugh! I couldn't escape, I was firmly wedged between the car and Mike. And I knew which I preferred out of the two.

Thankfully, my saviour arrived, in the shape of Lauren. In fact, I don't think I've ever been so pleased to see her.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in." Lauren appeared from the next car, eyeing me spitefully. _And good morning to you too! _I thought darkly.

"Mike, your squishing Lucie! She's not _thin _enough for you to do that." Her tone was malicious, and implied that I wasn't thin. I couldn't care less, because I knew that I was probably thinner than her, and I'm not saying that was a good thing. "Lovely clothes by the way Lucie, very Gothic." She sneered, what she mean? Gothic? Okay, so yeah, I supposed a black jumper and jeans looked _more _gothic than what she was wearing. And I'd rather be a Goth any day, than _ever _wear what she was wearing.

"Right, I love your clothes too," _I didn't realise it was 'dress-like-a-slut-day' _okay, maybe it wasn't best to say something like that, I mean, I wasn't exactly in Lauren's good books, was I? "I didn't realise it was summer yet."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

Oh, you know, only that your skirt seems a _teeny _bit short for _February_.

I realised I was still stuck. Mike seemed to have gone rigid, and was now pressing against me, in an attempt to almost shield me from Lauren. Though the simple fact of the matter was, he was basically cutting off my air supply. I tried to cough, but couldn't suck in a breath to do so. God I was stuck.

"Mike?" Jessica's voice drifted across the cark park, it made Mike jump and that was all the distraction I needed. I slipped through between Mike's outstretched arm holding the umbrella, and darted into the school. Leaving Mike with Lauren, and a soon to be Jessica. I almost felt sorry for the guy. Almost. _If he hadn't just nearly crushed me_. He was about to get one hell of a lot of flirting from the girl who's face had long been covered in makeup. I sincerely wished it wasn't waterproof. And, was probably going to have to endure Jessica's babble.

"Lucie!" I turned to find Angela beaming at me, I smiled back, noticing the way her normally straight hair had been curled slightly, it suited her, I wondered if Ben was the cause.

"Hey." I grinned, seeing a bedraggled Mike enter, his own hair sopping and Lauren trailing behind him. Angela turned to me and smiled, I felt instantly relieved to have her as a friend. Despite all the hate I seemed to surge up, causing it to be practically emanating off people, Angela still wanted to be my friend, and that meant a lot to me.

"I saw what happened in the car park," Angela said conversationally, grinning, as we walked to our first class. "Mike's still eager then?" I rolled my eyes and let out a 'humph' sound.

"Yeah, never knew he liked to carry round umbrellas…" I muttered, Angela laughed.

"All for your benefit it seemed. C'mon, it was kind of cute."

I suddenly felt the urge to gag.

"I suppose," I said nonchalantly. "If he hadn't half crushed me in doing so."

"Good point." Angela said, still smiling as we entered Biology. For the first time, we were early, I sat down and Angela sat down with me momentarily, evidently wanting to say something, but not before Jessica entered. And made a beeline straight to us.

"Lucie, Angela!" He voice sounded unnaturally friendly, it had lost it normally bubbly gossipy origin, and bitchiness whenever she was around Lauren. Now it just sounded fake.

"Hi." Chorused Angela and I at the same time, I mirrored her smile. Looking straight at Jessica, determined to find out what she was so interested in, or - more to the point - what she wanted.

"Lucie, I'm sorry I acted so bitchy the other day, it was totally uncalled for, I was just like, I don't know…" She mumbled quickly, yet I couldn't help but detect the resentment mingled in her words.

"It's okay." I said calmly, Jessica gave me a smile. A very fake smile, the sort you give to people who are younger than you. And then, Angela spoke.

"Jessica, you do realise Lucie's not remotely interested in Mike, don't you?" I turned to her. So she'd also seen the infatuation, but to link it to this? Wow, Angela was good. Jessica's face promptly flushed scarlet, and I hurriedly confirmed this.

"Yeah, seriously," And then I added something so cheesy, I was surprised I could say it with a straight face, "he's all yours!" Jessica (still scarlet) did look slightly mollified at this, and turned back to walk over to her own table, before nodding slightly. I could practically see her brain whirring.

"Cheers Angela." I smiled, Taking off my black jumper, it was surprisingly warm in the room. She just grinned and sat a few seats in front of me, as the teacher entered the class. He began writing something on the board, his voice a single low monotone, drawling slightly, as if he was speaking through a blocked nose.

"_Today we're going to be studying the genetic background and format of the-"_

It was probably then that my brain switched off. Though it could have been after '_today_,' I wasn't sure, it was hard to pinpoint.

Biology passed very, _very _slowly. Made up of trying not to fall asleep through the lecture and writing answers to the annoyingly easy questions. And having free time in which I spent by fuming slightly. Which was probably partially why I'd felt the room was too warm, because of the fire burning in me. Why was I fuming?

Because I didn't have my flipping English essay!

The bell rang, and the class stood up, I looked for Angela amongst the crowd of oncoming students, prepared to walk with her to English, but then I saw them. Ben and her. Awh, sweet! I didn't walk over to them, just continued out the class room, smiling slightly. They really were a great couple.

As I walked down the corridor however, the truth occurred to me. I'd only been here a week, my timetable was in my bag. _Which was at the Cullens'. _And so, I had no clue where an earth my English class was. All I could remember was the name of the English teacher, that had been written in small print. Mr Mason. Well, lets just hope he doesn't mind lateness. Though I knew this was very unlikely.

The crowds were thinning now, and I was still standing in the doorway. Stock still and not sure what to do.

I walked forward, not liking standing still, trying to at least look purposeful, and calm, and collected. When inside, I was just panicking. There was now _no-one _around and I was walking down a deserted corridor, which door branching off on each grey side. I'll say it again: depressing. It was far cooler out here, I felt Goosebumps rise slightly on the surface of my bare arms. I felt like sighing, but then, a door to my left opened, and Mike tumbled out of it.

And being the idiot that I was, I was pleased to see him, and greeted him with enthusiasm; that I was soon to regret.

"Mike, thank goodness, I'm really lost, can you help?" Mike's face had lit up, he abruptly changed his posture, now looking a foot taller than before. It made me feel small.

"Sure!" He grinned, and despite everything, I did feel sorry, asides from this morning, the last time I'd seen him, I had slapped him… And now, I felt like apologising.

"Mike, I'm really sorry about slapping you that time, I was just stressed, sorry."

"It's cool Lucie, don't worry." He was still grinning, an his eyes were raking lazily over my figure. I suddenly felt the urge to put my jumper back on.

"So err," I mumbled, not liking the fact that Mike had somehow got a _lot _closer during the conversation. "Can you show me to English?"

Now, I was very aware of the fact that there was no-one in the corridor except Mike and I. He spoke lowly, and his voice was intense.

"That eager to see Mr Mason, are we?"

"No, just-"

And then Mike was cupping my face, a determined look in his blue eyes. His hands were rough, digging into my cheek, I couldn't escape out of his firm grasp. Somehow, another one of his hands was behind my back, pulling me closer still. His breath fanned across my cheek, and he leaned his face closer. I knew what he was about to do. And I didn't like the sound of it one bit.

And so, naturally, I punched him.

Because it appeared that slapping him didn't seem to have done the trick.

"_Ow_!" Mike yelled, jumping backwards as if I'd electrocuted him. Huh? Looks like I don't know my own strength. I didn't feel like apologising. I just stared at him, and suddenly wished I'd given him a nosebleed, it would have been far more satisfying.

"On second thoughts," I spat, "I think I can find my own way to English." then, I was about to make an impressive exit, turn on my heels (preferably _without _tripping,) and stalk off, but musical laughter interrupted me.

"Or," someone stood out from the shadows, "I could show you." Edward appeared before me, his face grinning. Maybe he could use a punch too? Behind him, Mike made a disgusted sound, and I was pretty sure that Mike and I's faces were mirrored in dislike.

"No," I said through gritted teeth. "I'm pretty sure I can find my way now, thanks."

"I wouldn't bet on it."

"I would."

"You'd lose."

"Would not."

Mike's exit interrupted our argument, I saw his last look of disgust before he ran from the corridor, and then I turned fully to face Edward. He was unaware of the fuse he'd just lit in me.

"You were here the whole time, weren't you!" I shouted at him. He didn't reply, and just placed a finger to his lips, trying to quieten my anger. He did not succeed. "You knew he was going to do that! What were you doing anyway, following me." I tried to say stalking, but couldn't, stalking implied he was intentionally doing so, and of course the fact that it created _unwanted _attention. So following was more appropriate.

"I was looking for you Lucie," He said, calmly smiling, protracting something out of thin air, "Because I've got your essay." I stared at him. And couldn't help feeling relieved.

"Well, um, I don't know what to say." I muttered petulantly, taking the essay from him.

"A simple thank you would suffice." he murmured quietly. But then I remembered why I was angry. Damn his distractions!

"Where's my bag." I muttered, looking at my feet crossly, Edward gave it to me and then I turned and walked off. Finally making my impressive exit, _without _tripping or anything. I almost felt a little proud, though the feeling was short lived.

"Lucie," Edward's amused voice sounded behind me. "You're going the wrong way."

I really hate Edward Cullen.

***

I glared at the clock, willing the lesson to end. How an earth could 10 minutes feel so darn long?! We'd arrived late to English, Mr Mason hadn't been impressed and demanded my essay straight away. To my surprise, it had been finished, seemingly by myself, the hand writing was exact. Now however, the students in the class was chatting happily to the person next to them, while answering the questions about Shakespeare. Each an every pair seemed to be getting along. Well, all of the class, with one exception, take a guess at which one?

Next to me, I felt Edward's eyes on my face, hidden by my golden hair. Bella wasn't in here, which surprised and angered me. If she'd been here, Edward probably wouldn't have even be talking to me, let alone annoying me to no end with his witty comments, sarcastic remarks. And appraising looks. And then, he let out a sound halfway between an snort and a chuckle, the one I knew he'd been suppressing.

And that was all it took.

"Look Edward." I snapped and turned to him, only to find a wide grin still planted on his face. His prefect face, with smooth luminescent skin and pearl white teeth, deep golden eyes- _no_! I frowned, and his grin widened. It really was frustrating, I could feel completely and utterly angry at him, ready to punch his marble skin, and yet his stupid face made my pulse jump like crazy.

"Yes Lucie?" He asked in mock innocence, the smile in his voice.

"I don't believe you let Mike do that." I made a disgusted sound. The memory was still firmly in my head. And it was making me feel sick to the stomach.

"He deserved the chance, plus," He bit his lip, as if pondering on whether to say the next bit, judging - I assume - my the almighty frown that was probably contorting my face.

"Plus what Edward? Plus what?"

"Plus, it was highly entertaining." He shrugged, still smirking, and as if on cue, the bell rang, signalling next lesson. And Edward left the room, before I could let out another breath. He was lucky, because right now, I felt like exploding, and he would of just felt my wrath. Big time.

I walked out the class, my mood not improving .For the first time in my life I was looking forward to Gym. Why? Because it was badminton. And I wanted to hit something. Namely a certain Edward Cullen. But (what with him having impeccably hard granite vampire skin,) I knew it wouldn't cause any affect. And, there was the issue of him, not actually being in my Gym class.

Well then, it looked like Mike Newton was due for his nosebleed.

***

Gym had been the usual. Not purgatory, but simply hell. Lauren had been herself, which was never nice; Jessica had (thankfully,) kept Mike away from me; and badminton had only culminated in me getting hit in the face by Lauren's racket. Plus, to my immense disappointment; Mike's nose was still intact.

Jeeez, today was _not _my day.

I walked with Angela to lunch, she seemed to sense my mood and tried to distract me by talking about her two cousins she had looked after at the weekend, and not for the first time, I was grateful for this.

The cafeteria was already full. People were milling from table to table, and we sat down in our usual place. I didn't make a move to stand up, or move at all for that matter. I wasn't hungry, and neither it seemed, did Angela.

"Lucie, you sure you're okay?" Angela's tentative voice asked, lifted my head up, forgetting when I'd placed it on the table. "You look pale." When did I not? "Paler than usual, in fact, you look sick, what's wrong? What happened, is this why you came into English late?" her questions came thick and fast, I sighed, Angela was almost too observant and perceptive for that matter.

"Yeah, you want to know what happened?"

Angela just nodded in response.

"I have two words to say: Mike Newton." Was my answer, I spoke his name through bared teeth, and Angela's face lit up with understanding.

"Say no more, Ben mentioned something about Mike looking a bit put out."

"Yeah well, I suppose he would after I punched him." I said grimly, Angela's eyes widened in shock and amusement.

"Go Lucie!" She smiled widely, the corners of my mouth twitched at her enthusiasm. "Was he that annoying?"

"Oh, he was more than just annoying." I muttered darkly, Angela returned my grim smile. But our conversation ended abruptly, as Jessica came to sit with us. I did not want her to know what almost happened before, though I suppose it would make her sit elsewhere. She launched into some story or whatever, I didn't bother to pay attention, that was of course, until she leaned across the table and addressed me.

"Jasper Cullen's looking at you." She giggled.

I tried not to look at their table. I really did.

But as usual, my attempts were abortive and I succumbed, looking up and at Jasper, who's arm was gently draped around Alice's small shoulders. She was evidently talking to Edward, who was frowning slightly, but there was no point denying that he was looking straight at me.

It didn't take a physiognomist to work out his expression.

He looked so _guilty_.

Which of course made me feel guilty, as I was the only one who should feel _guilty_. And I hated feeling guilty.

God, I hate that stupid word!

I sighed and looked down, Jessica was muttering rapidly about how Jasper could be feeling about me. I felt sickened by her. And rolled my eyes, not bothering to hide my annoyance at her typical shallowness.

"Somehow, I don't think I could compete with Alice." I muttered, and saw Alice grin out of the corner of my eye. I'd forgotten they could hear so well. But Jessica was still babbling on about something or other, I didn't pay attention to what. My head was pounding now, and I vaguely wondered: could my day get any worse? But as soon as I thought this, I inwardly kicked myself. I swear that saying has a curse or something.

Because, walking straight towards me was Bella.

Now I had the answer to my question.

Yes. Yes it could.

"Lucie, can I talk to you for a moment?" Bella asked, her tone devoid of hate. All was very suspicious. I couldn't help but glance back at the Cullen's table. All of their perfect faces looked surprised and more than a little shocked, including Alice. Hmm, that was strange. Hadn't she for seen this? And Edward's face was one I didn't linger on, he looked the most shocked. I wondered if he was about to march over and rip Bella back to his table. I didn't ponder the thought, instead I stood up, and just nodded. She didn't look cross, but sighed slightly. "In private?" she looked at Angela, and gave her a look of genuine apology, "Sorry." She murmured straight to her, as she took me through the cafeteria. And for some reason, I knew she wasn't just apologising for speaking to me alone. She'd led me into a deserted room.. And it reminded me of the corridor earlier. Thank goodness I was in the room with Bella, _not _Mike. The thought still made me nauseous. But still, in here, it was far away enough, I knew, for the Cullens not to hear.

"What is it Bella?" I asked, the last time I'd had a conversation alone with her it ended up with her threatening to kill me. Which _didn't _go to well…

"I want to apologise Lucie." Her tone was hesitant, and now I was more than a little surprised. "I want to apologise because I've been horrid, and I'm sorry. Please don't take anything I said to heart, I didn't mean it, it just came out in anger."

I just stared at her, and I was pretty sure that I was gaping.

"Then why did you say it all Bella?" I asked, my voice was quiet, vulnerability seeping back into it. I no longer felt angry, in fact, I'd already forgotten how anger felt, I just knew it was better than this. Anything was better than this.

"I'll tell the truth, but you won't believe it." She sighed.

"Try me." I said weakly, and she looked up, and into my eyes, her own deep and oddly rueful.

"I was trying to keep you safe. Trying to protect you, it's dangerous in this life, and now you know about it, you're in danger too. " Her tone was not patronising, not harsh, not hostile. No, it was the tone one used from previous experience.

"Oh." Was my brilliant response. "I know it's dangerous, but I'm used to danger." I tried to shrug, Bella just let out a sound close to a laugh.

"Well then, expect it to intensify."

There was a silence then, a fragile one, ready to shatter; and it was not the only one. Bella now looked close to tears.

"Lucie, I love Edward, more than you can imagine."

"I know." I sighed, Bella continued.

"Please, I know you've seen my past, and everything, just please don't…" Her voice was very quiet now, and she looked truly upset. I knew this time; she wasn't acting.

"I won't tell anyone Bella." I admitted the truth, even though I despised it.

"Thank you." She choked, and that was when I saw the tears fall down her face, silently flowing down her pale cheeks, leaving faints marks as they fell from brown eyes, now slightly pink where they were meant to be white, and I didn't know what to do. "Sorry," she sniffed, "I feel awful for this, for being so horrid to you, and lying to everyone."

"I know, lying sucks, I know from experience."

"Yeah," she muttered, "takes more out of you than it's worth."

"Definitely." I mumbled, still unsure of whether to comfort her or not. I was standing about a meter away, just staring at her.

Now, I understood Bella, I suppose I always had, just found hating her easier. But it wasn't fair, Bella was kind and good, and I knew why she couldn't tell anyone about her feelings, her torn feelings that were slowly pulling her apart.

What do you do when lying is the only thing that keeps others safe?

You get plagued with stupid emotions that slowly rip you apart and leave nothing but a broken shell, which constantly feels close to breaking point. Now, it seemed, I was definitely not the only one who felt guilt. Amongst various other things…

Suddenly, the door opened. And Edward stood in the doorway, his golden eyes surveyed the scene, in less than a second. In an instant, his eyes seemed visibly darker, topaz now, as apposed to gold. And his expression hardened considerably.

Well heck! This didn't look good. Bella was crying, and I was just frowning, staring at her. No, no, no, definitely did not look good. Edward moved so fast, and was now in front of Bella, staring at me in shock. His voice was stiff.

"Lucie, stay away from Bella." Wow, I think empty class rooms always had this effect. I mean, last time it had been _'stay away from Edward.' _now _stay away from Bella_. Make you mind up… "I thought you'd changed, but evidently, I was mistaken." His voice was not only stiff, but almost menacing now, I couldn't even speak, a lump had formed in my throat. The knot in my stomach twisting painfully again.

"Bella, it's okay," Edward crooned her, "I wondered where you were, I was worried." I heard her trying to say something, but the sound was muffled as Edward cradled her. Her small figure protected by his lean one, his face pressed into her soft brown hair, as she cried into his shirt.

"It's n-not, Lucie's f-fault.."

Edward glared at me then, as if I'd made her say that. Seriously the boy had some major mood swings. Though, suddenly, I didn't care. Because I felt guilty for feeling how I did about Edward, now I knew how Bella really was. She had just stuck up for me, it didn't matter that Edward chose to ignore it. I would just have to hate him. I would hate him, he was annoying. Forever acting differently. Never seeing me for who I really was. I had no excuse for feeling how I felt.

After all, _this_: the turbulence; undeniable hatred; anguished tears; potent blood. All of it, had been caused by me. All of this, every single aspect, was my stupid fault. I deserved nothing more than to be swallowed up by the earth. If only Jasper _had _killed me, that way, at least I would have given some pleasure. Albeit brief, he could have enjoyed my unworthy blood. It was, after all, the most desired part of me. If that had happened, at least there would have been some point to my existence.

"Go Lucie, before I do something I regret." Edward's formal voice, his melodic voice, rang with authority. But it was strained now, anger laced in his words and I didn't doubt the warning in his voice. I already knew what happened when I caused Bella pain. I did not want a repeat. I complied, and rushed from the room, forcing back the tears that were threatening to spill over. I hated his velvet voice, hated the way it caressed around my name. I hated Edward.

But I was lying.

My life had always been filled with lies. Lies to protect others, to protect myself, I knew all about them. Knew the way they made you feel, the way they constantly gnawed at your mind, subconscious, slowly ate away at your inside. You can lie to whoever you want, tell a million lies to different people, as much as you want, as wrong as it is, as much as it hurts you afterward. The simple truth of the matter is though, you can never lie to yourself.

And I was lying because I knew I didn't hate him.

And I hated my self, for how I felt.

***

The rest of the day past quickly, and in a blur. I felt numb now. Nothing seemed to get through to me, to penetrate the sudden bubble that had solidified around my figure. I managed to brush off the feelings of concern coming from Angela, but couldn't convince her properly, twice now, she'd advised for me to go home. I didn't. Just continued numbly with lessons. Not paying attention, merely trying to distract my thoughts from anything about _him_. Anything remotely like the Cullens made my stomach twist. Causing the knot to tighten. I found myself placing my head against the cool window in one lesson, liking the cool sensation on my forehead. I felt like I had a fever, my head burned, yet the rest of me felt nothing. Just numb.

Soon though, my suffering drew to a close, well, partially. School was now over, and I found myself walking to my old blue car. I only stopped because of a firm grasp holding my wrist. If it had been Mike, I wouldn't have even had the strength to hit him. So I was glad when it wasn't.

"Lucie. I'll take you back."

The brass voice sounded behind me, and I turned slowly, knowing full well that only the Cullens could actually get through to me.

"_We'll _take you back," Trilled a high soprano voice, suiting the brass perfectly.

I sighed and faced them, Alice and Jasper, both mirroring looks of concern. I was both grateful and sad by their presence. Grateful; because I knew they cared. Sad; because I knew I did not deserve their care. I remembered my father though, and the guests we had tonight. When I spoke, I didn't like the edge to my voice. The way it became fainter as it progressed. The way it made me feel.

"I can't dad's got guests coming, he'll want me to be there."

Alice stiffened slightly, and her eyes went unfocused, the reaction reminded me, of something, but suddenly, I felt an overwhelming urge to comply to there requests, and Jasper's steady voice answered me.

"Don't worry, we'll drive you back in your car." He pushed me gently between my shoulder blades, and motioned for the passenger seat. I heard Alice,(who seemed to have returned to her normal chirpy self) hop into the back, muttering something about buying a knew car for me.

"Definitely not Alice." I warned, I saw her pout through the car's mirror. I just sighed. I don't think I'd ever understand her obsession with buying things. Or, more to the point, her obsession with _shopping_.

We were driving then, I felt waves of calm wash over me as I stared out the window, still trying to distract myself. Jasper's calm voice spoke from the seat next to me, I hadn't even realised we'd started driving.

"I am truly sorry Lucie." His voice was too sincere, too worried. Too guilty.

"Don't be." I muttered before I could stop myself. _I'd be better off dead._

"Well tough luck, he is." Alice trilled behind me, "Honestly, you should see him Lucie, moping around all the time, it drives me crazy!" I tried to laugh at what she said, but the sound died in my chest. I could feel their looks to each other. I knew I was not myself. But I couldn't respond rationally. I felt numb, my entire body was hollow.

"You're not safe with us Lucie." Jasper said quietly, my head snapped up. For what he'd just said reminded me of Bella's words: _'it's dangerous in this life, and now you know about it, you're in danger too.' _Is this what Jasper meant too? Were they trying to tell me they were leaving?

Did they realise, without them; I would crumple?

"What do you mean?" I whispered too fervently, it was the first time I had Jasper's full attention.

"Only in your sublime ignorance were you safe Lucie."

"Yes, well seeing as I am no longer ignorant, can you please tell me, _what the hell you're going on about!_"

"Finally, an actual reaction!" Squealed Alice happily. Jasper's lips turned up, as he suppressed a smile, feeling Alice's happiness. I knew why I'd complied so easily before, and why I now felt calm so I was grateful for how he was making me feel, knowing without it, my despair would surely crush me.

"And risk tarnishing your ignorance more? Not likely." Jasper's amused voice said, I frowned and Alice giggled. We'd arrived at my house now. Again, I'd forgotten how fast they liked to drive. Then, I remembered the jacket, which I'd placed on the seat next to Alice this morning. Edward's jacket. And it only reminded me of him again. My distraction died. I gave it to her. She smiled at it. And grinned at me. A grin, that I did not mirror.

"Lucie…?" Alice asked, assessing me.

"You do realise, Edward hates me, don't you Alice?" I asked, my tone was hollow, much like how I felt. Alice just shook her head slightly, her spiky hair bouncing from her pixie like face.

"You're his _soleil couchant _Lucie, he just hasn't realised yet." She said matter-of-factly then smiled at my bemused expression. Lithely, she bounded back towards Jasper took his hand, by entwining her delicate fingers with his, and ran off into the distance. I watched their figures blur and then vanish as they ran. Wishing that I could feel so care free. So devoid of emotion. It would be the perfect release from all this; the perfect escape.

I didn't try to decipher what she'd said. My head hurt too much already, without cryptic French sayings clogging it up. I walked into the house, took off my shoes, and threw my bag onto the sofa.

And abruptly froze.

For there before me; standing a little apart, their features different only by age, were two people. One; who's face was wise with lines, russet skinned, and sitting in a wheel chair, long hair falling around his oddly hostile face.

But it was the other that had my attention.

For the other was Jacob Black.

_Well, crud._

*******

**Ah ha you see the plot grows thicker and Lucie's luck starts looking sicker… (No. The plot isn't thickening really, nor is Lucie's luck tragically looking worse. Okay…I just wanted to say it. It sounded cool, plus it **_**rhymed**_**…)**

**Okays… So how was that? (Not the rhyme :p)**

**And yes. Too darn many of you are smart. Grrs! Loads of you guessed the Blacks… and there I was thinking that no-one would get my little question. But no, I was wrong. You're all too smart. (oh, and for those who guessed incoherently, well hey! Don't worry, your ideas were great… I never even considered Charlie and Bella coming over…!)**

**Anyway, I'm sorry for the late update. I was in London all weekend at the 'Darwin Exhibition' fun eh? Yes, my dad is a scientist, and he wants me to follow in his ancient foot steps. Well lucky me. :p**

**Thanks for ALL reviewers! Made me smile so much; my cheeks hurt. I'm really, really, really sorry if I don't reply to PMs or reviews straight away, rest assured I will answer them, eventually. My life's just a bit hectic at the moment. But I seriously LOVE all of your reviews and PMs they make my day and always make me laugh for some reason… ;)**

**Bella… now listen people… I know you all think she's evil (and hopefully here you'll see she isn't that bad…) But she has a reason, yet to be revealed…. Seriously, hang in there! Okay? Had to add that in, the comments from people normally say: 'I don't like evil Bella!' Gahh… look, just wait. Patience is a virtue! (that I sadly, as my dad keeps telling me, do not possess…)**

**Oh, and back to this. Rosalie's not in it yet, sorry, sorry, sorry! But I can only fit so much in one chapter. Jasper did apologise here, albeit discreetly. But Lucie (being the silly girl that she is) only blames herself, and has forgiven him already. Okay? **

**Anyway. I've babbled exceedingly here. For though of you who have actually read so far! And yeah, sorry, but hey, I updated, so don't throw anything at me! ;) **

**Remember, I'll update faster if I get up to 300 reviews, so review! (else I'll… get savaged by my beloved Mouse? (Who is a CAT, despite her name :p) OH! And… people requested an almighty new flavour of muffins… raspberry! So yeah, review, and you'll get one of those! **

**..eeeppp… long A/N….**

**Lily- who now knows awhll about Charles Darwin and his Theory Of Evolution whoop-de-doop! She'll give out free muffins? AND amazing knowledge if you review! (That's going to repel you all, my amazing knowledge, isn't it? :p)**


	19. The Confusion and Confrontation

**HEYYYY!**

**I'll try to write a shorter A/N, okay? Seeing as last one was obscenely long…**

**313 REVIEWS! That's so special, because it's a _palindrome_! That and the fact that it's such a BIG number! So yup, thanks for to all reviewers! I didn't keep you waiting to the weekend, **_**that's how nice I am. **_**Because of the fabulous review response! THANKS! Anyway, I have a thing to keep your minds whirring. The chapters: 1, 6, 12 and 18 all have something in common so far… anyone who guesses right will get.. Hmms.. A sneak preview for a future chappy for a reward or something amazingly cool like that .. Maybe another free Edward? Or Jazzy?… ;) **

**SEE… less babble! Go me!**

**Here you go!**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

I didn't try to decipher what she'd said. My head hurt too much already, without cryptic French sayings clogging it up. I walked into the house, took off my shoes, and threw my bag onto the sofa.

And abruptly froze.

For there before me; standing a little apart, their features different only by age, were two people. One, whose face was wise with lines, russet skinned, and sitting in a wheel chair, long hair falling around his oddly hostile face.

But it was the other that had my attention.

For the other was Jacob Black.

_Well, crud._

***

**The Confusion and Confrontation.**

I was pretty sure I stood there for about an hour, or at least, that's how long it felt. Panic twisted my stomach as I looked straight at Jacob and he looked back. His dark eyes zoning in on my own. The air suddenly seemed to have thinned around where I stood; paralysed, rooted to the spot as if I was glued there.

I knew I'd already stopped breathing; my face was now drained of colour. I was terrified. I wasn't scared of my safety, only of Bella. Bella and her deadly secret destined to cause chaos. The very secret I'd promised to keep safe. And the secret that was now in jeopardy all because of one factor that seemed to ruin everything. Me. The questions whirred around my sore head furiously. Desperate to escape.

What if I let slip?

What if Jacob found out?

What was I going to do?

_How many more people would I have to lie to?_

The sound of a throat being cleared woke me up with a start. Everyone turned, except me. I knew I wasn't the only one who had felt the tension. I jumped slightly, and turned back to look at the person who had just made the sound; my father stood in the doorway, holding a tray with a various assortment of tea and cakes.

"Tea anyone?" He said jovially, completely oblivious to the silence that had just fallen. Trust him to break the tension. Suddenly. They were all talking, though to me, their voices were remote and indistinct. Jacob was claiming the largest slice of cake I noticed, as I carefully left the room, hearing the sound of laughter as Billy Black talked to my father. The hum of noise that seemed to have appeared out of utter silence. What was happening?

I sank into the kitchen counter, and caught my reflection in the window. I'd gone pale. Really pale. My normal complexion, a mix between cream and alabaster, was now white. Only my lips give the slightest hint of colour, a rose shade, against the white. Contrasting alarmingly, like a blood on paper.

I looked like I'd just had a stroke.

So I tried to reason with myself. It was silly acting like this. When all that happened was Jacob arriving. It was inevitable; it was going to happen sooner or later. I couldn't have avoided him forever.

_But it__'__s so soon._

I knew he didn't like me. In the second I'd stared into to his eyes I'd known that Bella had told him about me. Of course, before today, Bella had hated me. I was after all, the reason for the turbulence of her once safe secret. How much had she said? How much did he know?

And more importantly; how the heck did my father know Billy Black?

"Hey." A voice woke me up. I gasped slightly at the unexpected. Turning towards the door, to where a figure was leaning casually against it.

"Lucie, right?"

I just nodded. Staring at Jacob. While my mind screamed at me. His tone was _friendly_, as were his eyes; an in inquisitive brown. No longer hard and dark. Now they were open. Did he not know? Had Bella told him about me? He looked at me then. Properly. My frail figure was slumped against the side, my face ashen, and my eyes wide with fear. His voice faltered as he next spoke, and he drew closer.

"You okay?"

I nodded abruptly. He didn't look convinced.

Okay. So I would just have to assume Jacob didn't know me. I would just have to pretend that I didn't know Jacob. Didn't know he was a werewolf. Didn't know he was in love with Bella. Didn't know that Bella was in love with him.

I'd just have to pretend.

Just have to lie.

_Nothing you're not used to then._

I let out a gust of air I didn't realise I'd been holding. And looked up at Jacob, planting a weak smile onto my pale face, willing colour to return to my cheeks and praying that my acting skills were up to scratch.

"Hey, yeah I'm Lucie." Jacob was still scrutinising me. I straightened up, "Sorry, I'm fine, just felt a little faint. Don't worry, happens all the time." He raised an eyebrow.

_Damn, another one!_

"Does it now?" His tone was disbelieving.

It seemed you didn't have to be a vampire to raise an eyebrow. You could be a werewolf and you'd be able to do it. In fact, you could be a normal human and you could do it. You just couldn't do it if you were me. Evidently, I was just incompetent.

I swear in that second. Even though the reason was completely trivial. I liked Jacob just a little bit less. Because life wasn't fair.

And I really wanted to raise just one eyebrow!

"Mhmm," I mumbled, realising that I was scowling at his forehead, and promptly looking at the tiled floor. "ask my dad if you want." Jacob just nodded, seemingly believing me. But he stayed. And made no move to leave the room. And so I, being the genius that I am, decided to remind him of something that would surely leave me in peace. Well, at least some time in which I could think clearly.

"Jacob, you do realise your missing out on all the cakes, don't you?" I tried to smile again and he returned it, but then the smile slipped of his face. And he stared straight at me.

"How do you know my name Lucie?"

Oh fork.

_Think Lucie, think!_

"Dad mentioned it." I lied fluidly.

"Oh." His expression softened and he smiled once more, "And you're right. Can't let my old man get fat on cakes can I? I mean, it's practically my responsibility to make sure he stays healthy."

"Yup, you're duty even."

He grinned and darted back to the sitting room.

I tried to compose myself, but failed, and decided just to improvise, it was after all, what life was all about.

Walking into the sitting room, I was not surprised to see my father and Billy Black staring intently at a game on the television, though Jacob wasn't, he was by the cakes, and sure enough he was definitely doing his duty in saving his father from getting overweight. Because he was scoffing the lot.

"Whoa Jake, you're wolfing them down." I smiled wryly to myself at the irony of the statement, but instantly regretted it. Jacob turned slowly, again, his eyebrow raised. I knew I shouldn't have used his nickname.

Or used the word _wolfed_.

Turns out, I suck at this.

He shrugged and went back to eating, so I made my mistake, quickly grabbing my bag and hurtling up the stairs, into my room. Plopping myself onto the bed, I lay back sighing. Life was getting far too complicated these days, I couldn't compete with what fate seemed to throw at me.

_It could be worse. _I thought glumly, knowing that it couldn't get much worse than what I was in. A complete and utter mess.

Time passed as I lay there, quietly thinking in silence, wanting more than ever to vanish and not be seen. I needed an invisibility cloak. But surprisingly, I didn't own one.

Closing my eyes made the time pass faster, and I wanted to sleep. It _had _been a long day, and with my disorientating dreams, when I slept at night you could hardly even call it sleep. Because half of my mind stayed awake, my imagination creating even more confusing scenarios, each so lifelike, and incredibly confusing.

When I next looked up at my clock it was already 6:30, meaning the Blacks had already stayed here for two hours. I'd heard them all downstairs, well no. I'd heard my father and Billy, shouting various words at the television, whilst Jacob had seemingly remained silent. Much like myself. I stood up, trying to force myself to greet them properly. My manners seemed abysmal. I wondered how much longer they were staying. I hoped it wasn't long. Because I knew if Jacob confronted me, I was bound to slip up.

As if on cue, Jacob walked into my room, his head bowed. Maybe he was telepathic, for he'd entered just as I'd thought about him. Though I doubted it, if Edward couldn't read my mind, I didn't think anyone else could.

I knew I should have felt annoyed at him just entering, without a knock or anything, but I couldn't. He did not peer at my things, or even look around. He just stared at his feet; a strange look had now passed across his eyes. A vulnerable one, he looked up at me then, and his lower lip trembled. And I felt the urge to comfort him swell inside my chest.

"Jacob? What's wrong?" Though I knew the answer. Only one thing would make Jacob look this way. This upset.

Bella.

He sighed, and sat down on my bed, it creaked slightly under his weight. I followed suit, instinctively and found myself crawling into the middle of my bed and firmly wrapping my arms around my chest. Locking them there securely.

"Lucie, do you know Bella Swan?" The question was abrupt, in any other situation it could have seemed rude, but his tone made it different. For it was hollow and flat, devoid of any rudeness whatsoever.

_Yes, incredibly so. I__'__ve seen her whole past, felt everything she__'__s ever felt. Thought everything she__'__s ever thought. I know everything about her. Including you._

"A bit." I edited. He nodded in response and once more looked into my eyes, boring into them, trying to siphon out the truth. The very truth that I had promised to keep secret. And the only thing, that I was unwilling to tell him.

"She's… she's," The love of his life? The point to his existence? Or was that just Edward? "Important." He mumbled gruffly, and it occurred to me that he didn't trust me. As I didn't trust him.

"I know." I murmured to myself. Yes, it seemed Bella was important; the focal point of attention. Just as I was the focal point of the chaos.

He quirked his eyebrow at me, much like before, and I looked away; unwilling for him to know how much I knew.

"She's hurting herself Lucie, she won't talk to me properly, I know something's up."

Something that I could never tell him.

"Lucie," He sounded in pain now, and the casual tone of voice slipped, revealing what lay beneath the façade. "She's everything to me. _Everything_."

I looked into his face then, taken aback by his tone, the way he spoke about her, with so much reverence. His face was strange when he looked at me like this. Toned and handsome, devoid of all its previous hostility and I wanted more than ever to tell him. To tell him the truth. It simply wasn't fair that Bella was hurting him like this.

Hurting Jacob.

Hurting Edward.

Hurting me.

I sighed, I knew the last one didn't matter, and was properly the only intentional one at the time. But I didn't care about my suffering, I was used to it. Used to the way it made me feel, used to how it seemed to fill my past; present; and soon to be future. That, I was certain of. But I wasn't just going to cry and feel sorry for myself. Only the weak did that, and I would not be weak. Or at least, I'd try not to be.

Jacob's soft voice broke me out of my reverie, quieter than before, yet lower and more intense. I looked into his face again, and once more felt the urge to look away, his eyes mirrored his voice. Too sincere. Too intense.

"How much do you know Lucie?"

I stared at him, shocked. Was I really that easy to read? That easy to work out?

That bad at lying?

His dark eyes poured into mine. Yes, I supposed to someone else, (like Bella) they were beautiful, but my pulse hadn't started to jump erratically because of Jacob. Not exactly.

My heart was thumping loudly for a much more significant reason. The pulse was rising because I knew he was getting closer to the truth.

"Too much." I whispered the truth, as he stared at me for another moment, before sighing again.

"I knew it!" His shout was triumphant, but still quiet and subdued at the same time. I couldn't even smile weakly in response.

I was pathetic.

"Jacob," It was my turn to ask a question, my voice was feeble; I tried to make it louder as I continued; more confident. I was ninety percent sure it had no effect. "How much has Bella told you about me?"

He didn't respond at first and his eyes darted slightly, but he recovered before I could make anything of this. He didn't answer my question.

"Do you know how I knew you knew Lucie?"

My eyes? Is it my stupid eyes that allow every one to _know _everything?

I decided not to argue or demand for my question to be answered, he was probably doing it out of courtesy anyway. I can't imagine that Bella would have told Jacob that she and I were best friends. Some things I suppose, are better left unsaid.

"Nope." I muttered, my voice flat, pulling my legs back up to my chest again - this time - holding them there firmly, desperately trying to stay intact; trying to stay whole.

Trying not to break.

He saw the movement, and his eyebrows mashed together before continuing.

"Because you're doing what Bella does," He gestured towards my position, "_exactly_, what she does. Always carrying a burden; always getting hurt; always blaming things on herself."

No. I just felt guilty. Guilty because _I _knew the truth. The truth that _I _wasn't even supposed to know, the truth that _I _despised.

"Lucie, I know about Edward." His voice was hard, and his mouth convulsed and twisted when he mentioned Edward. His hands, I noticed, were now balled into fists.

_What_?! Jacob knew. I knew. Edward did not.

He must have seen my look of disbelief, for he continued, his eyes darkening with every second. The hatred tainting his words, as he spoke them with disgust. Bitterness flowed from his tongue with every mention of the one person who did not know the truth.

"I know that she still loves him. I know she does. She can't be complete without him. But I can't be complete with out her." He looked exasperated now. "Hell! I can't even live without her. She's-"

"Everything." I quoted him.

My voice was quiet, and I felt my lower lip tremble. Jacob exhaled, a long drawn out breath, and he looked straight at me.

"So you know the bloodsuckers?"

"I know the _Cullens_." I retorted heftily, I didn't like the menacing edge to his voice, for I knew all about his belligerence towards them, especially Edward. All about how he longed to cause the vampires extinction, how he wanted nothing more than them not to exist. All about how much he loathed them.

"Yeah, whatever, so how do you fit into all this-" He grimaced.

"Mess?"

"It's a bit deeper than that Lucie."

I decided I would just tell the truth. I mean, Jacob had just revealed what he knew; it was time for me to do the same, and tell the truth. I mean, how bad could it be? Sighing, I untwined my legs and sat cross legged, staring at my feet as I spoke.

"I fit in, because I can see people's pasts, and I saw-"

Jacob cut across me, suddenly animated.

"Like what the fortune-telling-leech does, but in reverse?"

"Sort of, but… I don't know, _more_; I feel their past, their emotions, their thoughts."

"So it's stronger then?" I didn't like the way he kept interrupting.

"No, I wouldn't say that. I have no control over it, whatsoever. Anyway, please don't interrupt; else I'll never get this all out." Jacob mimicked locking his lips and I couldn't help but smile slightly. Though only to frown as I continued.

"Okay, here's the thing. I've seen Bella's past," I could almost feel Jacob tense; I knew his eyes had darkened again; evidently he did not like the sound of that. "And well, Bella found out and got… mad." _Mad didn__'__t quite describe it__…_I thought grimly, now staring at the duck egg blue blanket, not wanting to see Jacob's face. "She got really mad, and slapped me." I knew Jacob was grinning now. I decided to cut out the bit about Bella slapping me because of my drawing of Edward; she'd actually found out about my gift after that incident. But Jacob didn't need to know that. "And then, I well, punched her back…" I trailed off though, for suddenly, Jacob was leaning over me, I looked up; only to see a black fury burning in his gaze. I cowered into the wall of the bed. His eyes were coal black, hardly distinguishable from what Jasper's had looked like; I'm not afraid to admit that they scared me.

His voice was very low when he next spoke.

"You did _what _to Bella"

I didn't feel like repeating the sentence.

Jacob's hands were trembling. In fact, his whole _body _was trembling, his breathing coming out in shallow gasps. I knew he was about to change.

Jacob was about to change into a werewolf.

Something inside me clicked. Non-existent energy suddenly presented itself within me; a new found power erupted out of me as I ran across the room, much faster than usual. I was fuelled by pure adrenaline.

I saw Jacob as I reached the door, his trembling had ceased now, only remaining visible in his hands.

"Lucie! Jake! Kids, it's time for dinner!" My dad's voice floated up the stairs, and I was very grateful to hear it. Once again, he broke the tension, though this time, it was needed far more. There was a moment then, a moment in which I stared at Jacob, and he stared at me. A moment of silence. I was the one to break it, by tripping in my rush to run down the stairs.

I ate like I was in a trance. Well no, I didn't eat, I pretended to. Swirling the potatoes and fish fingers, (they are about the only things my father could cook, and my ones were burnt anyway) round my plate.

My father explained how he knew the Blacks to me, though I didn't listen intently, only seeing Jacob's rage. Now they - my father and Billy - both sat avidly in front of the television once more. I didn't really care much about watching sport, I personally, found other things far more interesting like paint drying and grass growing. Jacob and I sat alone on the table, at opposite ends, neither of us talking. Only Jacob was eating.

Distantly I remembered what my father had been trying to explain to me, apparently, he and Billy had been pen pals throughout their childhood. It struck me as odd that my father had never mentioned this before, thought I didn't question it. I couldn't find my voice. It occurred to me, that I really should eat. I hadn't eaten a lot in the past week, life had got in the way, everything was too complicated; too _complex. _All, was in disarray.

I started to eat the soft potato, but suddenly, a noise shook the stony silence that had settled between us.

Violently, Jacob stabbed at his potato, shoved it furiously into his mouth, and went to stab another, all the time, averting my gaze. Though I was sure he could feel my eyes upon him.

I was no longer hungry.

I made a move to stand up, to leave the table; I simply couldn't cope anymore. But an arm restrained me.

"You've hardly eaten anything." Billy Black's voice reached my ears, it was concerned. Evidently I'd judged him incorrectly; he wasn't hostile, that was his son. I hadn't even realised he was next to me. How come I didn't hear his approach?

"I-I'm not hungry." I stuttered, hoping he couldn't detect the lie in my voice.

"Still, you should eat-"

"Dad," Jacob's voice sounded like a growl. "shouldn't we be leaving?" His voice was hard, but he made eye contact with me, and I knew he wanted to say something more.

"Yeah," Billy sighed then addressed the rest of his words to me, "Just gotta tell your dad how nice it was to meet." He smiled at me, a smile I could not return.

He left the room, to the kitchen, where my father was washing up I presumed.

"Lucie." Jacob addressed me, slowly I looked at him. "I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you like that."

"I've had worse." It wasn't a lie.

He sank back into his chair, and motioned for me to take the seat next to him. I did so, his eyes had lost their darkness now. He looked desolate; sad instead of angry.

"I need you to know I don't hate you Lucie, I just overreacted when you said that about Bella. I'm not angry at you because of that. It just.." He sighed exasperatedly "I don't know, unleashed my frustration I guess." The last part was mumbled. And suddenly, I understood.

Jacob wasn't angry at me.

He wasn't angry at anyone.

He was just upset.

I studied his face then, and it was easy to spot that it was only contorted in pain, not anger. Gingerly, I lifted his face so I could access his eyes. He cringed back at my touch, but I ignored him, making sure he was looking my straight in the eye.

"I know how you feel. I know what it's like." I murmured to him, because I was pretty certain that Jacob was experiencing the very same as myself.

He stared back at me for a moment, but his eyes turned darker again. I wanted to sigh in defeat. Everything I said, seemed to anger people.

"You cannot _possibly _know how I feel." He whispered vehemently, as his eyebrows mashed into one angry line. "You have no idea what it's like, Lucie." His peaceful tone ended, only seconds after he'd used it, now he spat at my name; like it disgusted him.

He continued with his fists clenching once more, the tendons prominent throw his russet skin. "You _cannot _know what it's like to love someone, and then find out they love someone else. You won't _ever _know how I feel, you don't understand how my stomach convulses, how my body aches. You just can't know how I feel; it's impossible."

_Oh can't I?_

"Right. I guess you're right. Completely correct Jacob. I have _no _idea what it's like to be nothing. What it's like to be overshadowed, forgotten. Forever treated differently, excluded. Always left out. Always alone. Always knowing the truth that could destroy all. And always having to lie. No, I have no idea how you feel. None whatsoever. I bet it's tough."

His words had unleashed a torrent inside me, the words tumbled out of my lips, confident and hard, filled with bitterness, a forlorn edge to them. I hadn't realised I'd said what I had. I didn't feel like that, did I? The angry sound, was not my own. My anger was different to this; not as heartfelt. Never so concentrated. The words had made no sense, and yet the affect had caused an absolute silence. And still didn't know what part of my had said the words, and couldn't quite believe it was me who uttered them.

And neither, it seemed, had Jacob.

He was staring at me as if I was a hard maths problem, one that he was trying to solve. But his intensity broke as soon as the sound of Billy's wheel chair rattled against the floor. It was odd. Before, I could not hear his approach at all, and yet now, I could hear almost everything, as if my senses had suddenly increased. All now, seemed amplified.

Billy and Jake were saying goodbye to my father now, and while my dad said a lengthy reply to Billy, Jacob leaned into me, whispering in my ear. I did not like his hot breath, it made me want to cringe away, but I couldn't when he spoke, rooting me to the spot.

"I lied earlier Lucie."

_You're not the only one._

"Bella told me about you, and she was right." Great. Bella was right. I was wrong. _I'm always wrong! _I thought bitterly, though did not speak. Billy was drawing towards us now, and Jacob whispered his last words darkly, they sounded oddly like a warning.

"You were better off in England Lucie."

And he was right.

_If _and only if: my mother hadn't committed suicide. But she had.

And everyone knows you can't change the past.

No matter how much you despise it.

***

_Running through a__ dark forest, the lattice of midnight black and green blurring, with ribbons of crystal mist rising and falling. Dancing slightly, enjoying the peace of the surroundings, tranquillity. Movement as I drew nearer, steadily being pulled forward. A horrible feeling of reminiscence washing over, fear gripping, binding. No longer tranquil, an eerie silence, throat closing up. The figure standing out from behind a tree, motioning with a pale finger, unable to see his face. Not wanting to walk forward, knowing something was wrong. Something wasn't right. Meant to obey the person, wrapped up in a dark cloak, refusing. Staying put, unable to move. It was the same._

_Something behind, looking back, turning, seeing the second figure, still immersed in shadow like the first. Not knowing who to trust. Suddenly knowing danger, trying to run, being unable to breathe. A horrible convulsion around the chest, the air escaping, having no breath of which to use A pair of ice hands covering my lips a whisper in the ear._

"_Finally, we're reunited." _

_But it didn't stop._

_The hands, ice against skin, dragging, pulling. Suddenly going limp. Not feeling. Only knowing, that something wasn't right. Trying to scream. Failing._

_Trying to breathe, failing._

_Trying to remember, failing._

_Trying to feel, failing._

_Trying to scream._

Succeeding.

The scream steadily died in my throat as I thrust the cotton against my lips. Cold sweat dewed across my forehead, and I found the sheets tangled in between my legs. My breathing was no better off, coming out in ragged gasps. I was shaking as I stood up.

My dreams were getting out of hand.

Twice now, I'd had that dream, though now it lengthened, it was worse, more detail and horror. The fear had risen considerably. As I tried to compose myself, I realised with a sinking sensation what day it was. Tuesday.

And it was already _8:43 _which meant I was tragically late.

For stupid school.

_***_

I ran out into the drizzle of rain this time not bothering to shield myself, I'd dressed faster than ever before, and got ready in record timing. I actually felt fine, well, fine compared to how I'd felt moments before. I recon it was almost at vampire speed that I was running as I hurriedly tried to think and run at the same time. but my thoughts skidded to a holt as I nearly collided with my least favourite car on earth. The car I despised.

For there before me, was Edward's Volvo.

And inside, was Edward Cullen.

He looked at me, the window was down, and I couldn't help my heart. It fluttered erratically as his golden eyes burned mine, I looked away, knowing it was wrong.

Knowing he hated me.

"Do you want to ride with me today?" His articulate voice asked, as smooth as velvet, and one hundred and eighty degrees different from how he'd spoken when we last met, the threat still rang in my ears. Dark and sinister.

"_Go Lucie, before I do something I regret." _

Yes, Edward hated me, as I hated him.

_Hated him._

"I'm fine thank you." I muttered heftily and made to walk straight to my car. Yes, I hated Edward but also, my car was nicer than his stupid shiny one. I preferred mine. That was no crime, was it? I wasn't being difficult, just… okay. Maybe I was. Just a little bit.

He sighed at my stubborn response.

"I disabled your brakes Lucie, _you are getting in this car._" Though only the first part of his sentence registered with my one track mind.

"You did _what_?!" I practically shrieked at him, throwing my arms in the air trying to look and sound as intimidating as possible. Though to be honest, I just looked silly.

He didn't even have the grace to cower, just sat there patiently, a serious look in this eyes. An annoyingly serious look. My own eyes reduced to slits.

"Disabled your brakes," He repeated calmly, "Get in." How dare he speak with such a commanding tone!

"No." I retorted childishly, he raised his eyebrows.

"You're getting wet," He motioned to my clothes.

"Do I look like I care?" We'd already had this conversation. Talk about repetitive.

"No, but there's really no point for your discomfort."

"I'm perfectly comfortable."

"Oh are you?"

"Yes." I mumbled indignantly, promptly staring at my feet instead of his face. Knowing all to well, that steadily he was winning the argument. but suddenly I had a rush of inspiration and I smiled wryly at him, before quickly darting to my car, in an attempt to put my plan into action, before a certain grumpy-health-and-safety-obsessed-vampire tried to stop me.

"Anyway, I don't need brakes."

I'd only stepped a foot away, before his towering figure was before me.

And Edward was tall.

His lean frame, the whole six foot and two inches of it, masked my own. I suddenly felt undeniably small. I frowned up at him. And gasped when I saw what was twirling from his little finger.

_My _car keys!

"Hey!" I checked my pockets, and sure enough, my car leys had vanished. Or, they had just be stolen. Guess who by? "Give them _back_!"

"Get in the car Lucie."

I gave him one more disgruntled look, before giving in. Stomping back to the car, (not actually _stomping _though, I'm not an elephant…) but stopping once more, as Edward was before me again.

Like a gentleman, he opened the door of his shiny Volvo for me.

And so like a lady, I scowled up at him, muttering to myself.

I climbed inside, and was not surprised to see him already in the front seat, waiting again. Drumming his pale elegant fingers against the side of the steering wheel rhythmically. I sat there in stony silence. Glaring out the window. And to think I'd felt okay earlier? Now I just felt cross.

"Put on your seat belt." Ugh, another demand?!

"So you insist on me wearing a seatbelt, and yet drive at 100 miles per hour?" I muttered, before strapping myself in. Not admitting that I would have done so anyway.

"Yes, because I have excellent driving skills, and therefore, there's no need to worry." He flashed his set of awe strikingly white teeth at me.

"Modest aren't we?" I said, my tone thick with sarcasm.

"But of course." He replied innocently.

I grinded my teeth as he sped out from the drive. Once again, turning my gaze to the window. And sitting, _again_, in stony silence.

Yes, I supposed from the outside, I just looked plain stroppy. I mean, Edward could be being thoughtful in taking me to school. Well, he would have been if there hadn't been the whole commanding and forcing thing with the: _get in the car_, bit. So, I wasn't being too melodramatic.

But the truth was, I had no idea how I felt when I saw him. First, there would always be that initial surprise, and shock that seemed to over excite my heart, but then I'd remember his angst and anger. And finally, I'd remember his stupid superiority.

As I stared at the passing trees, my heart sank. Because Edward's angst and anger had returned.

Edward had thought it was my fault Bella was suffering. He had blamed me for it.

And I felt awful.

Because I knew; that he had been utterly correct.

My scowl had vanished from my face now, It just looked pained as I stared against the glass, no longer seeing the speeding scenery. My appearance did not portray how I felt. My hair was silkily and seemingly elegantly, falling down in delicate cascades down my shoulders. Framing against the dark shade of red my top provided. It was an odd colour, no, not odd; disturbing.

For it was a deep shade of scarlet. The very same colour of my blood.

At least it wouldn't stain then.

My eyes looked a lustrous shade between green and brown, still more green though; I knew they would have been emerald whilst Edward had been arguing. Now, they glimmered slightly. But faded as pain replaced the anger.

I couldn't bare it. For I had remembered that Edward was the only one just in anger. He didn't even realise that Bella's heart was torn. He couldn't, because he was unable to access her mind and my own. So he couldn't know unless-

My heart faltered. And stopped monetarily.

Unless he heard Jacob.

In that instant, as the realisation of what could happen crashed down on me, my breathing hiked, as did my heartbeat, pounding erratically against my chest, faster than ever, it continued to accelerate.

Distantly, I knew Edward was stopping the car, looking at me anxiously, alarmed. Not because he could hear my mind, but because he could hear my heart. And it didn't sound healthy.

If Edward found out, I knew what would happen. He loved Bella more than anything, that had always been clear. He'd held grudges against those who had hurt Bella, and would do anything within his power to protect her. He adored her in every respect, his gaze showed so much intensity, it honestly hurt to see the smouldering emotion behind his liquid gold eyes.

I knew, that without Bella loving him back. With her choosing Jake, Edward would go to Volterra.

He'd already realised living without her was impossible.

He would go to Volterra.

He would die.

With that. My breathing stopped all together, my lips couldn't move and I felt myself tremble. Because in that instant, it was like I could see the future. Edward, dead. The Cullen's leaving in sorrow, Bella blaming me, everyone blaming me.

Including myself. I would be the one who blamed me most of all.

_All of that, would be your fault._

Edward's harmonious voice did not break my train of thought, nor did it improve my heart rate. And breathing - which, there was none of.

"Your lips are blue. Talk Lucie."

_But how could I speak, when I knew what could happen?_

When I knew my world was about to vanish before my feet?

Because the simple truth was; however much Edward angered me; infuriated me; and even hurt me. I knew I couldn't live without him and the Cullens. They were the only people I'd finally found at ease with, connected to.

Here was the only place I'd ever felt truly home.

My vision was blurring now, in and out of focus. Only Edward's melodic voice kept me conscious as it spoke fluidly again, as supple as water, yet tarnished was anxiety and unease.

"Breathe, Lucie." It was a command, one that I couldn't respond to. My body had suddenly gone rigid; it no longer trembled. My mind was screaming at me. Half, in horror at the realisation I'd just discovered. The other - more rational side - was screaming for oxygen. But it was as if my throat was sealed up.

And then, miracle cool hands were holding my face. The sudden jolt of electricity shook through me, leaving my cheeks hot at his touch, I found my body flinching backend inhaled in a sharp gasp.

"Finally." he sighed, seemingly unperturbed by the way I'd recoiled. Was I the only one to have felt that?

I found my self wishing I wasn't.

"Edward?" I whispered quietly, staring straight at him. He's already started to drive carefully; we were running late. In fact, he was driving very carefully, actually keeping to the speed limit. I desperately tried to show him what I was trying to say through the look in my terrified eyes. "Promise me something."

"I can't do that." Was his reply, and frustration suddenly bubbled up again, but subsided almost as instantly, as I looked back at his face. Apolgoy saturating it. "But please realise that I'm sorry, for what I keep doing, ignoring you, excluding you and-"

I cut him off.

"Only if you promise one thing."

"Luice," He sounded strained now, gripping the steering wheel tighter, "I _can't_." His voice sounded like it was going to brake on the last word.

"It's not much," I whispered fervently, clutching at straws. "Just…" I hesitated.

He sighed.

"What?" The way he said it sounded like surrender.

"Promise you won't leave." I knew I was speaking with too much emotion, yet it was impossible to stifle it.

"I'll promise you this," He said, his eyes portraying the same level of intensity. "_Je ne t'oublierai jamais." _The French words flew quickly from his lips, I frowned. Not liking the fact that everything the Cullen's said in French became a mystery to me, but before I could answer, Edward stiffened significantly.

Looking out the window, I noticed we'd arrived at school.

And there, across from where we sat, was Jessica in clear view of both Edward and I.

"Edward," I hissed quietly, unable to keep the panic edge to my voice at bay, "What's she thinking."

"It's not good." He mused, a smile tugging at his lips.

"What?" I said exasperatedly.

"You really want to know?"

"I _need _to_. _" I knew how easily Jessica could misinterpret. And by the look on her face, with her jaw dropped and the glint in her eye that only potential gossip caused, I knew she already had done so. Edward mimicked her voice to perfection.

"She's thinking: '_Nun-uh! How the hell did Lucie catch a ride with the fu-" _He grimaced as he looked at me before quickly editing Jessica's language. As if my ears were too delicate to hear it. "_hottest guy in the school, she's attracting _way _too much attention_."

I sighed before muttering in an undertone as chagrin flooded my face.

"Tell me about it."

Edward grinned.

And as I stepped out the car, I mentally prepared my self for facing Jessica, along with Lauren, Mike, and Bella.

This time: _well, crud _simply didn't cover it.

In fact, I was more inclined to use Jessica's language.

Ah, crap.

***

**There. Grrr. I don't like this chappy. Darn Jacob and his hardness-to-write. Sorry if he seems OOC. I tried, and almost certainly failed, but hey, what do you think? Need your lovely reviews to spur me to write on. Else, I'll just resort to reading the new book that came from Amazon today, well two came, and only one's left. Yes. I read too fast for my own good. It sucks.**

**Please review? Make me smile? **

**OH, and lots the whole 'cryptic-French-sayings-thing' sorry, sorry, sorry, and for translations… well… of people commented on I can't give them, rest assured all will become clear in later chapters, okay? And there in French because too many reviewers know Spanish too well. And they're meant to be cryptic, even though they probably aren't! **

**Review please? I did update faster, and didn't keep you hanging till Saturday! So, I am **_**kinda **_**nice? Reward me, with lovely reviews? Yes? **

**PLEASE?**

**Anyway, the more reviews, the faster I update, I'll make that a new rule. So you've got an incentive now! (Though you really should just be doing it out of the kindness of your hearts… :p) **

**Lily- who has been requested to give out cookies instead of muffins this update. So yup. she has them all. Sitting on a plate, ready to be gobbled up. Review. And you can do the gobbling! :p**


	20. The Lapse in Time

**Heyyy! ^.^**

**Okay. A long A/N at the bottom. So yeah…*gulp***

**Disclaimer: Twilight, is not something I will own, or do own. However, the tea beside me is purely mine. MINE I say!**

**I'll try to cut this as much as possible. First of all, usual amazing thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter, you have no idea how much I appreciate feedback! 339 reviews? Wow. Just wow. And I'd like to say a big thanks to all Anonymous reviewers too, seeing as I can't reply to them, I really, really, **_**really**_**, love every single review I get! And, I'd like to point out, that regardless of how many reviews I receive, I'll update. But please remember, if you review, the updates will be **_**faster **_**and… c'mon, you'll make me happy!**

**O.O This chapter is dedicated to ALL of you. Sorry, I couldn't just pick some. All of you deserve the credit! **

**And… no-one guessed the whole business with the chapters: 1, 6, 12 and 18 having something in common, but I don't think anyone will… it's too obvious! So yeah, please review this, even if you hate it, just say. I'll just go off and cry in misery. (sarcasm, don't worry. I've only had one flame for this fic… and I hate to say it, but it had me in fits of laughter.) Some people… they just don't take things seriously these days :p**

**ENOUGH babble. **

**Here you all go!**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

I sighed before muttering in an undertone as chagrin flooded my face.

"Tell me about it."

Edward grinned.

And as I stepped out the car, I mentally prepared my self for facing Jessica, along with Lauren, Mike, and Bella.

This time: _well, crud _simply didn't cover it.

In fact, I was more inclined to use Jessica's language.

Ah, crap.

***

**The Lapse in Time**

I mentally groaned as I looked at Jessica, who was still staring, her mouth wide open and eye bulging. Seriously, her eyebrows were so high up on her forehead, I swear they were about to vanish altogether. Though something about her look was odd, more to my left. I turned instinctively, only just having got out of Edward's Volvo.

Only to find my face inches from his.

The rain was still falling thickly, rolling down my cheeks like tears, and glistening like diamonds in his tousled bronze hair, gently soaking me once more. I let out a shallow breath, and mist formed where it left my lips, from the cool February air.

Suddenly, his scent washed over me, as if it had abruptly materialised out of nowhere, I hadn't smelt it so strong before, never so potent. The smell made it impossible for me even to consider movement, intoxicating, it bound me, an irresistible allure. I shook my head slightly, and I saw the corners of his lips twitch.

Yes. I was very thankful he couldn't read my mind.

What would Edward do, if he realised I thought he _smelt _nice?

With a jolt to my stomach, I realised how close his face was from mine, my heat accelerated, and he lent close to me, smirking now. I'd forgotten he could hear that. His expression annoyed me. What. Was. So. Funny?

His breath tickled my ear as he whispered to me, the velvet voice lost me momentarily; I instantly forgot my irritation, it was deep yet supple as silk. It was perfect.

"Good luck."

He walked away swiftly then, his movements graceful.

And I stood there staring.

Jessica's high pitched squeal brought me back to reality, with a sinking feeling.

"Lucie! Edward freakin' _Cullen_!"

Right now, I seriously wanted to drown in a puddle.

"Mhmm." I mumbled, suddenly feeling immensely embarrassed, I knew I was blushing severely. I couldn't speak properly. _Damn Edward_. My annoyance flared up again, I held onto it tightly. Not wanting to relive the over emotions coiled inside me and ready to explode. Ones I wasn't willing to even consider, let alone voice.

_Better to be angry at him._

Quickly, I holstered my bag onto my shoulder, and started to walk purposefully towards the school, Jessica tagging along behind me. I could hear her furious mutters from here. Maybe you didn't need mind powers after all?

"_So unfair, can't she just …"_

I think she caught me staring, she shut her mouth tightly, but then the gleam returned to her eyes, and she smiled vindictively. I carried on walking, not giving her a chance for more meaningless questions.

I had to give it to her, from where she was standing, _that _(the whole thing with Edward and me in the car) looked like good gossip.

"Lucie, why did Edward drive you to school?" Jessica finally managed to ask, her tone eager.

I decided on the truth again, lying it appeared, was now officially not one of my strong points.

"I don't know." I sighed, scanning the hall for Angela. _Please save me from Jessica_. I sent a telepathic message to her. Though, to my disappointment, she didn't appear. Proving that I did _not _have telepathic powers. Darn. Another thing to add to the list…

"You're blushing!" She exclaimed happily, I gritted my teeth together. Edward was going to pay for this. Stupid emotions. Stupid blush. Stupid Edward.

"Maybe I'm ill." A look of confusion swept across her face.

"Why'd you say that? Ill, why?"

_Because I'm actually tolerating your meaningless babble! Not running across the room and fetching a large stick._

Okay. I really had to control this temper of mine. Else Lauren and Jessica (not to mention _Mike_) were going to end up in casualty.

"Because I have no reason to blush around Edward."

"Nuh-uh! You _so _do, everyone does, he _talked _to you, hell, he was in the same _car _as you and he is so damn freakin' hot-" I cut her off before she could describe anymore of Edward's inhumanly beautiful looks. Literally, inhumanly. Anyway, I didn't need a run down. I had after all; just experienced the full blast of them.

"Jessica, he annoys me. A lot." I wasn't lying, I'd just carefully skipped over the blushing part. She huffed her response, and I knew I'd held her off, for now, though her eyebrows remained high on her forehead. I sighed, trying at least to mentally prepare myself for the tedium of today's classes. Physically it was easy; well, it was _easier _to plant a fake smile on my face and _look _normal, than ignore my raging thoughts. Which were the opposite of normal.

Jessica was talking now, though I wasn't listening. The window's glass had captured my reflection. My whole face was pale, only the fading blush in my cheeks and colour from my lips distinguished it from the likes of the Cullen's appearance. That and the fact that I wasn't beautiful like them. I'd always considered myself as plain, though, I wasn't exactly plain I supposed, just different. And different was never good.

But again, my attire caught my attention, my stomach twisting uncomfortably.

The scarlet top I was wearing grabbed my eye, and I wished I'd worn a more neutral colour. I stood out. And I hated attention.

"Lucie? Are you even listening?!" Jessica's impatient voice woke me up.

_Nope. _

I hadn't realised we'd been walking, now half way towards our first class. A thought nagged at my mind, for some reason, it was urgent. Making my stomach twist once more, but this time, with unease.

_Where was Angela?_

"Yep," I managed to mutter, my mind was spiralling away from Jessica's trivial talk, still focusing on Angela's absence, it wasn't like her to not attend school. I'd seen her past, school was important to her. She wouldn't miss it intentionally. Was she sick?

"Well then, what did I say?" Jessica exclaimed heftily. I was really getting sick of her in my ear, couldn't she see I had more important things to deal with?

_Jessica. Go. Away. _

It appeared my powers of telepathy still didn't work.

"You and Lauren went to this restaurant, and it was like, absolutely _divine_.." I trailed off, mimicking her voice perfectly. Who ever said I can't act? We turned a corner then, yet my legs were moving without my permission. Suddenly, everything seemed distant again. It was a worrying feeling, I sat down quickly, I didn't even know what class it was.

One the teacher had began his drawl, it became apparent that I was in History; a class which Jessica and I shared. I could already see her frantically talking to Lauren, her eyebrows did not raise, but furrowed, in a deep set scowl.

Some things just didn't change.

The lesson pasted faster than I expected. It was odd to find my self walking to next class, Physics. Though Angela did not accompany me, and it felt odd without her kind voice by my side. Where was she?

But as I drew closer to Physics, I began to look at the bigger picture. Angela wouldn't be in Physics.

_But Edward would._

I didn't know what to think, so naturally, I frowned. And abruptly stopped. Edward was confusing me in the extreme, I wasn't sure where Bella was, but I knew she wouldn't be in Physics, being set differently from Edward and I. That couldn't be good. Though before I could dwell on the matter much longer, a familiar voice sounded behind me.

"Lucie!" I turned to see Angela walking frantically towards me, her hair fell haphazardly, and she was beaming. Evidently: not sick.

I felt my anxiety lift, ever so slightly.

"Hey Angela." I replied warmly, grateful for her presence, my mood had lifted considerably, everything seemed so much simpler with her, "Where were you?" She looked slightly flushed, but didn't reply, or if she didn't I didn't hear her.

Because right then, I saw Mike walk towards me.

He was coming swiftly, from the opposite end of the corridor, still meters away from us, he couldn't hear what we said. I had no clue how far we were from Physics. Suddenly, I felt very grateful for Angela's presence. I looked round for an exit, but found none. And my happy mood, vanished as abruptly as it came.

_Stay calm. No punching. _I chanted to myself, unable to keep the smile that formed at the thoughts. But instantly changed by expression, grinding my teeth audibly, and refusing to look at Mike's sky blue eyes. His incredibly annoying eyes that constantly seemed to be starting at me.

Hmm, his face and eyes could become very well acquainted with my fist again…

What was with me today?

I could almost taste the apology on the air, hanging thickly around him, and his blue eyes were shining to match the tentative smile planted on his face. The smile I had to _try _to copy. His stupid, pointless, annoying-

_Calm_.

"He just doesn't give up, does he?" Angela mused, ever optimistic, quietly by my side. I could tell she was grinning. I felt like gripping her, demanding she endure whatever Mike was about to put me through.

"You mean: he wants a nosebleed. Right here, right now." I muttered darkly under my breath, too quiet for clueless Mike. I was no longer trying to mirror Mike's apology, now I was just scowling. And I couldn't care less.

Angela giggled, but her tone took on a mock sincere and serious note as she continued.

"Come on Lucie, give him a chance, don't be too hard on him. He's just…" She trailed off, unable not to smile at my expression.

"Increasingly annoying?" I offered.

"Persistent."

I just grimaced.

"Oh look, there's Ben!" Squealed Angela happily, and it truck me how carefree she sounded, but before I could think more of the matter, she shot off down the corridor. Hang on? _Ben wasn't anywhere in sight…_

Well great. I was now alone in the corridor. Angela had left, leaving me, standing _alone_, with _Mike_. Ugh. This smelt horribly familiar.

Oh, shoot.

He was only two feet away now, I made sure he didn't try to get any closer. It was odd, the way Mike continued to walk so fast. If he had paler skin; stronger muscles; more handsome, then I might have mistaken him for a vampire. Oh, that and the whole bloodlust bit… Funny how that's always overlooked?

No, even then, Mike could never really be even compared to a vampire, he was too unalike. Too Mike-ish. Too annoying.

Though admittedly, Edward wasn't exactly the least annoying person, was he?

"Hey Lucie?" Mike said, sounding just as annoying as his smile looked. Once again, I scanned the place for an escape. If only I knew where Physics was…

"Hi." I mumbled bluntly. Couldn't this guy take a hint? I then felt a brooding sensation inside me form. Angela had _deliberately _(I just knew) let me face Mike alone! I was going to get her back later. For certain.

Mike's next words almost came out in a gush.

"Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, but we're cool right?" His eyebrows were raised now and he still had that sickening tentative smile of apology on his face. It could be easily wiped off with a good old punch…

_No! Calm._

"Yeah sure. We're cool."

_If your idea of cool is that at least one wants to rip the other to shreds? Then yes. We're cool. Extremely so. In fact, we're practically arctic._

"Good! I was worried, with you, well…." Mike trailed off, an odd expression crossing across his face, looking speechless. He looked as if he wasn't looking directly at me, and instead was staring at a pint over my shoulder. I don't know why, but this annoyed me. I retorted callously, my anger slipping ever so slightly. I think I lost my hold on calm.

"Punching you and all?"

The sound of booming laughter made my head whip round. And there, standing directly behind me, was Emmett. A massive grin planted across his face.

"Don't apologise Lucie." He chuckled, grinning at me.

_I wasn't going to…_

I was going to say something, use Emmett as a distraction to run off to Physics. Which I was seriously late for, but Emmett cut across me, with a sentence that seemed to burst from his lips, as if he'd tried to restrain it.

"I bet Mike likes feisty girls!"

Was it possible for someone to turn five different shades of red?

Mike did.

He managed to mumble something incoherent before stumbling through into a class, if possible, faster than before.

Though at this moment, I really hated Emmett for saying that, which was probably the most embarrassing thing to say, I had to give it to him. He was a lifesaver. I turned slowly and glared at him, he - unlike Edward - cowered slightly, albeit acting, and his eyes glinted in the way one's did when they were in trouble.

I just sighed.

"Aw, c'mon Luce, can't have been that bad!"

"Emmett. Number 1, it was bad. number 2 I'm not Luce, I'm _Lucie_, and number 3…"

"Long list.." He muttered, and I gave into his expression, just admitting what I'd thought.

"Thanks a lot. You're a lifesaver."

"I do what I can." He replied modestly, raising his fingers in a salute.

I smiled at him, he shadowed my frame, but I didn't feel intimidated, or even remotely afraid around Emmett. He seemed to possess an aura, a happy one. Jasper would know what I meant. Yeah, he was a bit annoying, but he felt like an older brother. I wanted to sigh again. Knowing full well that he wasn't an older brother of mine. And that I'd never have one.

He seemed to notice my expression, because he looked concerned.

"Hey, is everything okay? Luce?"

"Not if you keep calling me that…" I threatened, smiling, though I couldn't feel it. He chuckled again.

"It's either, Luce or _Luciana_, your pick." Damn, he had me there.

"Fine!" I admitted, "Call me Luce, but I want you to know that I'm holding you officially and personally responsible for ruining my good mood!" He grinned widely.

"Now c'mon, we both know that's a lie."

"Is not."

"Oh, and Mike just lifted your spirits then?"

Ugh. Emmett was too good. And right, if anything, he'd lifted my mood. Mike was the one who'd lowered it.

"I'm going to Physics." I muttered, but my tone was no longer sulky, just amused.

"Third door on the right," Emmett called behind me, I frowned as I abruptly changed my initial track to the left. I was never going to understand the layout of this school. I needed a map.

"See you later Luce!"

I sighed at my new nickname, and braced myself as I entered Physics.

Yup. I sure was late.

The whole class turned round at me, the previous chatter ceased. And I was sure that I was steadily turning the same colour red as my shirt.

"Ah, Miss Raven, finally decided to show up have we?" Trust Mr Banner to sound exactly like _Professor Snape_, I swear he even had the same nose…

"Sorry sir." I muttered, sitting down quietly, as the rest of the class continued to talk, completely ignoring his lecture on… well, I wasn't entirely sure. I'd already stopped listening, much like the rest of the class.

The atmosphere felt wrong though, almost empty.

It did not take long to realise why. The realisation almost made me feel sick. I had no idea why I was feeling so dependant all of a sudden. So _weak_.

Edward was not here.

I knew I should have expected it. Of course, he probably felt guilty for driving me to school this morning, but I didn't. In a way, I'd been relying on him being here. Despite the fact that he was sardonic often, making cryptic comments only answered with wry smiles. Edward made everything seem easy. Simpler. In his presence, I felt, well… whole.

I wanted to kick myself.

Edward did not make me feel whole. Edward made Bella feel whole, well, partially… Edward cold only fill half of the gap, the other - I knew - could only be filled with Jacob. I knew though, despite being seemingly selfish, Bella was not. If anything, _I _was the selfish one. Again, I felt strange emotions, but then, one of the things that used make me dislike Bella rose to my mind.

I'd held it against Bella, the way she'd treated Angela, though remembering her words, she was completely right in her actions. They suddenly all made sense. Once again, Bella's words flowed against my mind.

"_it's dangerous in this life, and now you know about it, you're in danger too."_

Bella hadn't been selfish, or horrible, or forgetful towards Angela.

She'd been trying to _protect _her.

I'd already found out Bella was not how she'd first appeared to me. But this small piece of information suddenly made everything else make sense. It showed how _good _Bella was. I had no right to think about her in such a spiteful demeanour as I had done so in the past.

I could now understand why Edward loved her, it wasn't her looks, (though I'm sure they helped) it was how Bella _was_, and Jacob was right. She did blame everything on herself. Though she didn't need to. I however, well, I was another matter entirely.

"Miss Raven? How about you answer?"

Oh, shoot. What did Mr Banner just ask? The whole class was looking at me again, as if a spotlight had just appeared where I sat. I stared blankly back at them. _This_, would be the most useful time to have Edward's gift. Mr Banner was sneering now, probably finally glad he'd managed to find something I didn't know.

"Err-" I mumbled, what had he asked?

"Hmm," He said, his sneer widening, "funny how you seem to be less capable at Physics, when Mr Cullen is not present. Isn't it." Sniggers proceeded this comment; and I really tried not to punch the man.

When was he going to realise, that I wasn't thick?

"No sir," I said coolly, "I just didn't hear the question, could you repeat? I think you were mumbling." I smiled innocently at him, glad that his face had slipped into a scowl, and he had reddened considerably. Mr Banner:1 Me:1.

"Yes. Though I think it is your hearing Miss Raven, not my speech, that has enabled you to not hear the question. I did repeat twice you know." More chuckles came from the class, and in any other situation, I would have been going red in humiliation. But not now. Not with Mr Banner. He'd have to do better than that.

"Are you going to continue questioning my hearing sir? Or can you repeat the question?"

"Certainly. Why was the year 1997 important for science?"

Crud.

His smile confirmed how I felt. I knew he didn't expect me to know the answer, though his expression was the very reason why I racked my head, saying the first thing that came to mind, I wasn't giving up yet.

"Well, The first synthetic human chromosome was constructed by US scientists in 1997. If that's what you mean." I said, and I couldn't help but sound slightly smug. I

knew I was correct, for two reasons, 1; with a quick glance at the board I saw a drawing of a chromosome. And 2; Mr Banner was looking back to his useful flustered self.

"And what exactly," He continued, seemingly forgetting his lecture, though I'm sure the class didn't object, and instead, focusing his entire attention on me. "Does DNA stand for."

_Please_. I've known this since I was 7 (not meaning to sound boastful, but it was true. I'd heard it used before, and I was curious. True, back then, I had no idea wheat it meant, just the long words associated with it.)

"DeoxyriboNucleic Acid."

I just smiled again, as Mr Banner looked disgusted, the bell rang suddenly, concluding my victory nicely.

Though as I left the class, Angela smiling and chatting happily next to me, I couldn't concentrate on her kind words. My mind wavered back to Edward, Bella and Jacob. There truly was only one way to describe the situation. A mess.

I didn't expect Jacob's feelings for Bella. Sure, I'd suspected he'd loved her, but not so deeply, Bella was to him, _everything_. I knew about Bella too, I'd lived through her life with Jacob, she loved him and Edward equally. Though she didn't know the feeling was mirrored by Jacob, Bella was oblivious it seemed, to how much both Edward and Jacob cared about her.

"Lucie?"

Angela's voice stirred my thoughts, I looked up, and her expression portrayed those horrible emotions I seemed to get off people these days. Concern, sympathy, and worry.

"I'm fine." I said, trying to sound more cheerful as we carried on walking, to where though, I didn't know.

"I don't think you are Lucie." Angela said calmly, "For one thing, you're paler than usual, you're not talking and-"

I really hated lying, and especially to someone as decent as Angela, but sometimes, lying had to be done, I cut across her then, telling a well practiced lie.

"Sorry, I'm just tired." In all fairness, it wasn't a complete lie, I was tried, though I knew that wasn't the reason for how I was reacting to everything. The reason for the hollow sensation that slowly began to crawl inside me.

Angela said something about needing the bathroom, and I just nodded in response. When she left me however, I didn't know where I was going.

Though that seemed the least of my worries.

I felt a wave of nausea shake me slightly, and I felt the familiar sensation of swaying. I was about to faint, I could tell. It had happened before, the usual horrid sensation of weakness enveloped me. I felt and saw the darkness close in round me, yet I fought it stubbornly, refusing to let it take me.

I felt stuck though, halfway between falling, and standing. Refusing to succumb, yet yearning for sleep, which I'd been seriously deprived of. I was captured. Stuck, in a lapse of time.

The corridor was empty, and I was grateful, I slid to my knees, placing my head between them, and breathing deeply.

I knew something wasn't right. Normally, the general cause for fainting was a sodium deficiency, or dehydration. And although both of those facts fitted my symptoms, I knew that wasn't the reason for how I was feeling. It wasn't scientific at all in fact. It all came back to one thing, too stubborn to remove itself from my mind.

_Edward. _As soon as I thought about him, I felt dizzy again. I shook off the thought, pushing it away, not wanting to feel so feeble and anaemic.

Once my breathing had slowed, I stood up, though I now knew going to class wasn't an option. I could barely think, let alone write and supposedly learn. Besides, I didn't want to be witnessed fainting, I'd already done that enough already. No need for anymore people to think I should be put in quarantine.

I started walking again, I preferred walking as opposed to sitting it seemed to give me more purpose. Looking up from the grey carpet, I realised I wasn't the only one late to class, or simply not attending it. And I felt dizzy once I saw who was alone in the corridor.

Bella stood from me, seemingly, having known I was there the whole time, staring at me, her brown eyes imperceptible. I knew she'd seen me almost faint. She looked as tierd s I felt, her hair falling messily around her face, though still she seemed beautiful, she walked towards me, and I had to fight against the darkness again.

_I. Will. Not. Faint._

I expected her words to be soft, though they weren't. I should have noticed the anger in her eyes; the betrayal shining in them. But I didn't, concentrating hard on my breathing more than her words.

"So Jake came over then?" Her tone was brittle, and I felt confused, my head still pounding.

"How-"

"He told me."

"Oh, well then, yeah…" I said, sounding stronger, far stronger than I felt, forcing myself to stay upright, and not to sway.

"What did you tell him?" Her tone was blunt, confusion swept through me once more, I wanted to sigh in frustration, what did she mean? She carried in response to my silence. "What did you say to him about Edward."

"Oh, he already knows Bella," The moment I said this, her expression changed to horror, I tried to carry on quickly, she'd misunderstood my statement. "No, it's okay, don't worry-"

"_Okay_?" She choked, now looking close to fainting herself, "How can it be okay? I can't lose him Lucie, and he knows!" Then she focused again, her words - so much stronger than mine at the moment - cut across what I was about to say, her eyes narrowed, and betrayal flashed once more on her face.

"You told him."

"No, no," But I couldn't blame her disbelieving look, my words sounded so faint, they were little better than lies.

"_Why_? Why did you do that?" The anger was replaced by raw emotion, tears swimming in her eyes. I had to speak now, I had to tell her.

"Bella, he doesn't care, honestly, you don't understand, Jacob lo-"

"Don't understand?" She murmured quietly, "Oh I understand perfectly Lucie." her voice sounded worse without anger, broken and distort, so lost. Bella thought Jacob hated her, not realising he felt the exact opposite.

"No Jacob-" But she was gone, hurrying down the corridor, and out of sight, I finished the sentence that she couldn't hear, as I felt myself crumple. "…Loves you." I whispered, falling then, knowing I couldn't hold out.

The darkness re-formed, yet this time; I didn't fight it. I welcomed it's icy embrace, not wanting to feel anymore, to break any further. I felt my eyelids flutter shut, as if preparing for a dream and my head thud against the floor. Only one wish formed as I fell. Not wanting to hurt anymore

I wished for oblivion.

***

I awoke.

I was standing now, in a forest, the moon cast a pale luminescent light ahead of me. Intrigued, I walked towards it, my skin felt oddly warm against the cool air. My bare shoulders didn't react to the chill, nor could I feel pain through my feet; devoid of footwear.

Hang on. Bare shouldered? No shoes or socks?

Curious, I looked at my attire, and was shocked at what I saw. A silk dress hung around my slender figure, lightly gripping to me, as if tailor made. The same colour as the moon above, and the light in the distance. I shook my head, and I felt my hair cascade down my back in shower. As if it had been held upon my head with heavy pins.

The light in the distance caught my attention again, I found my self gracefully dancing towards it, compelled by it's presence.

Wait. Graceful?

It was Edward, he came swiftly, and was by my side in an instant. I beamed up at him, ready to ask why I was dressed as such. And our (as yet) oh-so-mysterious-location. Though before I could speak, he placed a pale finger against my lips, stopping my questions in an instant. I looked up.

His eyes were darker-a shade off tawny. They seemed to be the most substantial thing about him; the way they captivated my own, making it impossible to look away. That and his liquid voice. Soft as velvet, but now oddly strained and rough. He gazed at me with such certainty, such precision and intention, that I completely forgot my surroundings, they melted behind me. For I was lost in Edward's gaze.

His expression didn't register with my mind, I did not note the urgency or fear saturated in it. Perhaps that was why I was confused by his pained voice, when he spoke directly to me. My head ached slightly, I felt as if I was surrounded by people suddenly, anxious voices buzzed in my head.

"_What happened?" _

"_She's so pale!"_

"_Get someone, she-" _I ignored them, returning my attention back to Edward.

His voice broke my trance, though for once, I did not break eye contact, I couldn't bare to look away from his eyes, terrified, that in the act, he would vanish. And become no more substantial than a dream.

"Lucie…" I could not concentrate onto the sound, he was still talking, yet it was as if we were in a vacuum. The air had ceased, breath did not come to me, yet I was not afraid like normal. Nor could his voice reach me anymore, as I felt my self drift, and experienced the sensation of falling, I gripped thin air and fell, yet did not find pain as I landed. Against something cold and hard.

Confusion swept trough me, as my vision blurred again, I felt a cool sensation at my back, and eventually came to the conclusion that Edward had caught me. Though I also felt a pair of warm hands touching my forehead, and the voices threatened to over come my head once more. Again. I blocked them, concentrating on Edward with all my power. Refusing to let him fade.

His voice had returned, ever so slightly I heard it, and gasped as his words penetrated my mind.

"Lucie, you need to trust me."

I could hear the anxiety again in his voice; and it scared me. Something was off, abnormality lay thick in his words. Again, I felt confused, so I gazed up at him, managing to utter the truth before the darkness engulfed me.

"I always have Edward; I always will."

I could only see the darkness creep back into his eyes though. Something was wrong. Something wasn't right.

"_No, she just fell. I don't know why… no, not yet… Yes, quick. I don't think she's breathing."_

"_I found her here, I don't understand, can't we move her?"_

"_It's okay Mike, we've got this."_

"_O-okay, I'll go tell Angela."_

_Footsteps running down a corridor, murmurs, voices. A pause, then:_

"_Why didn't you see this Alice?"_

"_I__-I don't know. I just saw her, but it's hazy, is she alright?-"_

"_It doesn't matter, but no, she's not, quick, get Edward."_

The voices weren't making sense. Edward was already beside me, his hair almost black in the moonlight, whilst I could see my own hair against my skin. Silver.

His voice was more distant; merely a faint whisper. Yet it was enough to send me over the edge, me stomach clenching in fear.

"We have to go Lucie, your not safe around us."

His words cut me, sharp, like ice. The cool arms suspending me were no longer pleasant, now they were icy, remote. The involuntary shiver shook me. As the unease built again, my head was screaming protests. Hey could not leave. Something was not right.

"_Get him! She's not waking up, Alice? What's going to happen to her?"_

"_I can't see, it's like a barrier's formed, I can't see her future, it's blurred."_

"_She's scared, her emotions keep flickering,"_

"_Same with her future.."_

"_Just get him, it's been two minutes Alice, she still hasn't drawn breath!"_

"_It can't be…"_

"_Look at her Alice!"_

Again, I struggled against the thoughts, focusing on Edward before me. Remembering his words.

"_Don't_…" I could only choke the word, as the air escaped out of my lungs, the look in Edward's eyes was rueful, apology seeping into it. I had to remain conscious. I had to convince him. _Them _to stay.

For if they left, all word turn to chaos.

"Yes, I-" He grimaced, and the stab of pain hit me again hard, as a pain shot through me, the truth was steadily sinking inside me "_we _have to. You're not safe Lucie, Alice's vision proved as much. We can't be around you, else…"

His words trailed off again, as my mind swam. I felt myself being lowered to the earth, and I wished I was strong. Wished I could grab onto to Edward and force him to stay. Wished I could prevent the inevitable; that I could prevent being left alone. My dress beneath me as no longer white. A dark colour was seeping into it, though I couldn't see, the light was retreating.

"Lucie. We're leaving."

With that, Edward Cullen turned, leaving me on the earthy floor, and as my eye lids drooped, I saw him, now only a dark form, run off into the distance. And in his place, came another figure, walking towards me.

I knew he was a vampire; only that could be the reason for his graceful movements. Though something was off. Whilst Edward's presence had provided comfort and safety, this figure was emanating the opposite, something twisted. Sinister and dark, the mood was tainted around him. I knew he was not good. And that I was in danger. Alone.

Though as he drew closer, he seemed to radiate light, I could once more see my surroundings, the dark forest, and night sky.

I could also see the colour of my dress.

The once pale luminescent white was now splattered with drops of dark liquid.

The light provided from the hooded figure, showed the colour of it.

Dark scarlet and crimson against white dashed before my vision, the vampire before me leaned closer, drawing back his hood, revealing a pair of very brooding. Bottomless eyes, the eyes of a vampire. Though they were not golden, proving that the person fed off animals. They were something far more disturbing.

His eyes were a deep crimson.

The exact colour, of my blood stained dress.

_Blood._

_Vampire._

_That can't be good._

His voice rasped, dry and hoarse, quiet, yet enough to make my body freeze, and my heart to accelerate in undeniable horror. As he leant his lips closer to my throat, murmuring against the skin there. His breath smelt like corpses, tainted with death.

"Now, you shall join me."

And then, my world went black.

I was wrong before.

Oblivion was hell.

***

**Confusing much?**

**Sorry, sorry, sorry! … All should hopefully be cleared up by next chapter (which **_**will **_**be up much faster if there's more reviews *hint, hint* *wink, wink*) And I think I need to clear a **_**few **_**things up about this chapter, else I'll get a lot of angry reviewers and we simply **_**can't **_**have that! **

**Number 1). Lucie is NOT a vampire… (yet… Mwhahaha!)**

**Number 2). That big confusing fainting/ thing? Was a dream. Not. Real. But adds a lot to the plot.**

**Number 3). Mike still has a healthy nose. (Damn.)**

**Anyway, if people didn't find this chappy confusing, then well done, gold star! And if you did, don't worry, hopefully this helped. And. I predict that lots of people will complain about Lucie being all weak in this. I know, I know, but don't worry, she'll get stronger, I promise that. Sorry if she seems so pathetic in this.**

**And… if people were wondering, I've fainted myself a few times, so if the descriptions seem rubbish, then hey, so was my experience! :p Now, this chapter itself, was a bit of a filler for the rest, so if you're thinking: 'there's no action. Geee, this is a boring story!' agghhhhh, well just hang in there, okay? Hoped you liked it anyway, and sorry it took so long to update.. I promise next chappy will be up faster… if you review.. It might even up this weekend. Did you hear me? This weekend, despite my Art Coursework I'm meant to be doing, **_**right now**_**, (erm, and French, History, English essay… I'll just stop there… you don't want to hear about algebra. You'll die. Litterly, you're head will implode. BOOM! *way too much tea today…*) I will update if you guys review! How nice am I?**

**Okay…. Don't answer that. (Its completely rhetorical.) I am not evil. Despite what you think :p Well at least, not **_**too **_**evil. I think. I hope…**

**Thanks so much reviewers! You ROCK! I don't believe how great reviews I get, so long and purrrfect! (even my cat mouse approves. And she's hard to please.) OH! And guess what? I'm giving out free Carlisles this chapter! (they were requested..) So yeah, if you review, you get your own personal doctor! So, keep up you're great reputation by just clicking on that little button, you know.. The one that says **_**review this story/chapter. **_**Guess what? If you press it, you can write a review. The review goes to me. I get happy. Send back thanks and answers to questions + almightily cyber treats. Then, I update. Then you get to read more. Then you review again. And voilà, we have the circle of life! (the circle of reviewing.. I mean.)**

**Okay. I'll just stop talking now.**

**Lily- who apologises for a lot of babble. Meaningless babble that probably took up your time if you bothered to read it. She is sorry. Maybe it's a curse? Babbleritus? She hopes it's not contagious, unless you babble in reviews, in which case: she sincerely hopes it is contagious! **


	21. The Cryptic Enigma

**Heyyy!**

**Okay. So I'm updating late tonight at 22:50 pm, instead of letting you guys wait till the weekend. Nice huh? Now. For some reason, I'm feeling a bit down. I think it's due to the fact that there's I've had nothing but healthy food (meaning no sugary nice food) for the entire week. And I'm suffering. If you review… I'm sure I'll cheer up significantly! A humongous 366 reviews, woop! Thanks to all who've reviewed so far :p ALL of you, whatever your review says, whether it's positive or negative, I really appreciate them. They help. A lot. And without them, I'm not motivated to continue writing :p Sorry I didn't reply to many last chapter. I've had a very busy week, it's a miracle I wrote all this tonight. So yeah. I haven't forgotten, but I could either reply or update, and I guessed updating would be slightly more popular.**

**Oh. And I was confused, shocked, and amused (..rhymes confused… amused. *shuts up*) by how many people want to kill Mike! Ha! I love the spirit! These truly were hilarious to me :**

'I don't think many people would mind too badly if you killed dear old Mike off.. Hmms... maybe Lucie can *accidently* take him cliff diving?' **Hmms. A possibility.. And the more straightforward one was just:**

'KILL MIKE! Please?' **Hehe ! Poor old Mike. **

**Anyway. I'll stop babbling. And I've got bad news. My Babbleritus is shown clearly at the end. So.. Brace yourself for it… eepp.**

**MUST. STOP. BABBLING. Oh yup, here you go!**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

His voice rasped, dry and hoarse, quiet, yet enough to make my body freeze, and my heart to accelerate in undeniable horror. As he leant his lips closer to my throat, murmuring against the skin there. His breath smelt like corpses, tainted with death.

"Now, you shall join me."

And then, my world went black.

I was wrong before.

Oblivion was hell.

***

**The Cryptic Enigma**

Feeling slowly leached back into me, discomfort mainly. I tried to lift my heavy eyelids, desperate to make sense of it all, I felt cool hands rather than grass beneath me, and movement instead of the still darkness before.

Though when I thought about this, it made sense. Horrible sense.

_Cold _arms.

I screamed, the sound was weak in my throat, and I could feel myself shake again, terrified of the deadly voice - the very one that had been plaguing my mind every night. And had now found me.

"_Now, you shall join me."_

Though as I fully awoke, it was not the hooded figure who was suspending me. Alice's face was the first to register in my mind, her golden eyes alight in anxiety, her small pixie face twisted in concern and then relief as my eyelids fluttered open. I exhaled in one, long gust, still in a state of shock.

"Lucie," She said, though her voice was twinned by Jasper's too, both sounding immensely relived. It was he, I realised, who was holding me, he'd stopped walking, gently lowering me to the ground. "Seriously, don't do that again." I couldn't speak, feeling only light headed, concentrating on Jasper and Alice's perfect faces.

"Do what?"

Alice's tone became very serious.

"Not breathe for three minutes."

"Oh."

We sat in silence for a moment, and I finally noticed my surroundings Surprisingly, we weren't in a forest. The school's car park lay before me, and with the sounds emitting from inside, I knew it was lunch. How long had I been unconscious? With a jolt though, despite the fact I knew what had happened was not real, I felt more scared. My heart rate increased, I felt Jasper inhale sharply, and almost cringe away. It took my brain a while to work out why.

"Oh," I mumbled, realising how my thudding heart was affecting him, "sorry Jasper." I attempted to stand up, but fell again, as a tumult of vertigo hit.

"Whoa… head rush." I murmured dizzily. It registers that in my fall I should of hit the ground, but I fall only to be caught by another set of arms.

"Don't worry, I've got you." His velvet voice did not help my heart rate.

Edward had caught me, but it was when I turned that my heart rate accelerated, in fear rather than awe.

For Edward's eyes, were exactly how they were in my dream. The exact colour, before he left. The beautiful, yet terrible, dark shade of topaz.

And I was sure, this morning, they'd been golden.

They all seemed to hear my heartbeat, and I looked at Alice for help. Because now, I knew something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

"P-put me down please.." I stuttered, looking at Edward's face, his bronze hair was it's usual perfection of casual disarray, contrasting dazzlingly, with his angelic face. But his eyes did not match, they were staring at me, not in concern, not anxiety.

But in the same way mine were staring at him.

In horror.

He seemed unwilling to let go of me, yet placed me on the pavement, and I sighed shakily, knowing how bad I looked, my face would look like a sheet compared to the red top. I averted my eyes to Alice's, it was easier to concentrate when I talked to her. I didn't forget all that came to mind, as I s often did whenever he stared at me.

"Lucie," Alice spoke urgently, the relief had vanished from it, instantly, I knew what she was about to ask. She it seemed, knew I had not just fainted. Her eyes were fearful, I knew how much it scared her when she couldn't foresee the future, which meant she hadn't expected this. Which wasn't good news. "Tell Edward. Tell him what you saw."

"She doesn't need to." Edward's voice was quiet; he still hadn't withdrawn his eyes from my pale face.

"Edward, she does, this is important!" Alice's voice was furious, she glared at him, an I was shocked by the venom in her gaze. "How dare you say that. Don't you care about her? Stop being so-"

"No Alice," Edward's voice was still quiet, yet like Alice's; it wasn't calm. There was almost a fragile edge to it, an edge that could only form out of fear.

"She doesn't need to, because I _saw _it."

There was a silence.

"You, what? Saw her vision?"

I cringed at the word _vision_, it felt too unreal to be called that. Still, I couldn't find the strength to speak again, not with the dreadful thoughts tumbling round my mind, all of them, screaming at me, as my mind pieced together the sleepless nights.

Which now all made sense.

"Lucie, I think I can see you dream."

Alice looked at Edward, I couldn't respond, just sat there limp. Too preoccupied by what I'd found out. The truth. The very fact, that my arrival to Forks had masked. Made it become overlooked and forgotten. The terrible truth, that should have been feared and confronted, instead of left to gather in darkness. Alice spoke my words, her own voice shaking slightly.

"Edward? What does it mean?"

Edward replied, his tone a mixture of hatred and fear.

"They're coming."

I did not ask who they were, because I already knew. They, were very same people who'd been tainting my dreams. The very thought of them, made me feel sick with fear.

But this time, not for myself.

The Volturi.

Edward said my next thoughts, his own voice finally crumpling as he stood up in an instant, ready to sprint off. His voice and face now both a mixture between shock and agony.

"_Bella_."

He truly looked as if he was about to sprint off. Alice grabbed him firmly by the arm, staring at him, as he read her mind. Edward shook his head and Alice sighed in response.

"Edward, don't. She's fine, I promise." Alice's voice was calmer now, a calm that I could not understand. Edward's reaction to me seemed more rational. Bella was in danger, though Alice seemed calm. It didn't make sense. Nothing was making sense. _Nothing. All was chaos._

"Then _why _Alice," Edward said, his teeth clenched, still looking unsure whether to rip Alice's hand off his own. "are you not telling me where she is? Your mind's blocking it."

"She's with the Blacks Edward."

"Why?" Edward sounded outraged, though I'm not sure if I imagined it or not, but a small look crosses his face. Almost a look of defeat.

"I don't know!" It was Alice now, who sounds exasperated. "Look, she'll go home in two hours, that's all you have to wait." Edward continued to glare at her, unsatisfied by her answer, Alice sighed again and continued in her quick chirpy tone. A beautiful sound, though not as appealing as usual, no longer the carefree sound of wind chimes, not with it's tainted edge of fear. "I had a vision of her leaving before, I don't know why, but she got in her truck, and then, well…" Alice mumbled the last part, almost looking ashamed.

"Her future vanished." Edward finished bluntly. The hard ice edge to his tone arising once more, though not before it gets placed with something I fear far more. A voice low murmur, quieter, tinged with despair. "Why did she go there? Why did she leave school early?"

The knot has re-formed, and suddenly I felt it twist painfully in my stomach. I answer his question, my voice small, scared for his anger as I say it, knowing that Bella left because she thought I'd told Jacob bout her and Edward.

Knowing that it was my fault if she was unsafe.

"Me. She went because of me."

Then the strangest thing happened. Edward's eyes flashed in anger, the anger I'd come accustomed to whenever I hurt Bella. The anger I knew I deserved. And then he turned slowly, looking at me - still slumped against the side walk, Jasper a few feet away not breathing, trying not to inhale my scent - and his face portrayed one unmistakable emotion: confusion.

I suppose it's better than hatred.

But before I could look any closer into his expression, decipher what lay beneath his features, he turned once more to Alice. They began to talk, in voices to swift and fast for me to understand. Edward started to pace furiously, I noticed Jasper beside me, evidently having drawn closer, though he still wasn't breathing. And with a jolt, I realised he was staring intently into my face.

"You're confused." He whispered softly, judging my hectic emotions perfectly, I just nodded. He stared at me again, and I have the sudden urge to cry in frustration. _Yes, I'm confused. Very confused, I don't know what happened to me. I don't know why that vampire said that to me, and most importantly. I'm confused about Edward. Confused whether I should tell the truth. Or die trying to keep it… _Jasper continued, no doubt having felt my confusion fully again. "Would you like me to help you with that? I could answer some questions?" It's just Jasper and I now. Edward and Alice are too far away for me to hear, and they don't seem to be listening, too engrossed in their silent conversation.

Another emotion rose inside me, Jasper smiled when he felt it.

For I felt an immense trust towards him.

"What happened?" My voice was still shaky, Jasper looked at me, concerned more for my safety than the rest, maybe it was his gift for emotions that was the reason for this. Amongst my confusion, I knew he could feel the fear radiating off me; I was certain it was stronger than the rest. I had no idea how to deal with the news. The Volturi. Even the thought of them made me shiver; yet again, not for my own safety.

Alice and Edward were staring at each other, only Edward talking, answering her mind's questions. Beside me, Jasper sighed. "I take it I'm not the only one who's confused?" I mumbled, Jasper smiled ruefully at me.

"No, but I'm not sure what happened Lucie," He said quietly, referring to my first question. His golden eyes- more butterscotch from the rest of them today, which explained his tolerance from being so close to me - assessed me before he continued, as if unsure whether to mention the incident again.

"Please tell me." I said in a whisper, he sighed, though I knew he was succumbing.

"Okay, I shall. Alice had a vision of you falling, so we came to find you, but it's strange Lucie, her visions of you are all distorted; confusing. She truly hates not being able to see clearly, she feels awful for letting you experience that, and not being able to prevent it. Her emotions are radiating off her." I didn't quite know what to say to this, though I knew I did not want Alice to feel so bad. How could she have prevented it anyway? I knew why she couldn't see my future probably. Because I was _different_. I just nodded for Jasper to continue, fighting back the bitterness.

"I think Mike found you first," I cringed. Why Mike? Why _Mike_? Jasper just chuckled at my expression. "He was very worried about you, kept stammering on about how pale you looked, and told us what happened. Apparently he was sent to look for you when you didn't show up for class. I sent him away, and told Alice to get Edward." He looked at me in a strange way then. "Lucie, did you realise you kept mentioning his name?"

I flushed, no I didn't realise that.

"I-I, h-he was there; in my dream, vision-whatever, I-" But I stopped myself, because for some reason, a strange feeling my gut was telling me not to tell them about the first halve of my vision. Specifically, not the part with Edward leaving. I don't know why…It just did. And, though I did not know quite why at this moment in time, I believed it.

Jasper smiled kindly at me, letting the subject drop, evidently he was experiencing my confusion once more.

"It's okay Lucie, you're safe now, we were just worried. You didn't breathe for an awfully long time see, you were turning blue. And," He grimaced, once again unsure whether to continue.

"What?" What was so bad? Did I scream?

"Well, you trembled, quite badly, I think Mike's under the impression that you have epilepsy."

_And if Mike told anyone. Well, it would at least give me an excuse to damage his nose a bit. I mean, who needs a nose anyway? Mike didn't._

My thoughts were becoming delirious. I sighed in exasperation, Jasper merely chuckled beside me, though stopped, a dark look crossing across his face. I didn't need to ask what. The Volturi. Now _that_. Was a problem…

I felt a sensation in my lip, and suddenly realised I'd been biting it, though whether it was out of fear, anxiety, shock or a combination of the three I did not know. I stop myself he moment I realise the action though, remembering that last time I'd made myself bleed.

"So they're really coming?" My own voice is little above a whisper, I turn back to Jasper.

"Lucie…" Jasper spoke, though his voice was odd. Uneasy and worried. He didn't finish his sentence. I suddenly felt very aware of how cold I was, a shiver shook me, and to my horror, it didn't stop. I continued to tremble, only now, experiencing the shock that inevitably follows after fainting and then realise that a bunch of blood thirsty vampires (who just happened to have been haunting your dreams each night) are in fact, coming after you.

That was enough for Jasper to swoop me into his arms, suddenly, we're all in Alice's Porsche. I felt dizzy again, as if time has suddenly sped up, when only minutes before, it seemed to have stopped completely. Jasper placed me on the back seat, and sat beside me, Edward and Alice were already in the front. And before I could strap myself in, Alice was driving well over the speed limit. Speeding out of the car park.

I must be sick, I don't even have the strength to ask her to slow down.

Though I know this is not why I stop them. Time was running out. And everyone could feel it. My head pounded, and I felt as if I was coming to throw up, I held my breath, willing myself not to. Alice would murder me if I was sick in her Porsche.

"Rest Lucie," Jasper's voice breaks through my thoughts, I can't reply, merely nod weakly, succumbing slightly as I rest my head against the cool glass window. They're all talking now, though I can't join them. The cool window has left my forehead clammy. I pulled away from it, looking back to Jasper next to me.

"Jasper," I whispered, I can't prevent what I say next, it tumbled through my lips, without my decision whether it was wise or not. I felt foolish as I said it, though I know it's important. "I've been having dreams; nightmares. Just like this, they're all the same… they-"

Edward turned suddenly, whipping round from the front seat so fast, I nearly jump.

"You've been having dreams Like that? Ones with the Volturi?"

I don't answer his question; replacing it with one of my own.

"Is that who _he _was?" I can't control the way I speak, my voice sounds horribly weak and feeble. I'm referring to the cloaked figure. That horrible vampire, with those eyes, the colour of corrupted blood, constantly whispering to me in my subconscious.

"I'm certain of it." Edward's reply was dark. I wanted to ask more, but he turned abruptly, staring out the window, ending any conversation that might have formed. I don't feel angry at Edward for ignoring me. The situation is too serious for that. And it honestly scares me. Knowing that my dreams could have been more than just an over-reactive imagination.

I wondered briefly Alice us driving too, I assumed it was their home though. Some time later, it could have been a second, a minute, or five, I can't tell, Edward's voice rings clear as he confirmed my previous thoughts.

"We've got to tell Carlisle. He's not working today is he?"

"No, he's at home." Alice's voice suddenly sounds frustrated. "Ugh! I can't believe we forgot this. How _I _overlooked it? Why didn't I see it? There's no time. We have to go-"

Alice's voice chills me to the bone. My mind pleas silently. _They can't leave_.

"No." Jasper's voice cuts across Alice's, "Leaving won't help, they'll find us anyway, they have Demetri. It won't keep them from finding her. Aro said she needed to be changed Edward. You have to make a choice." A sigh of relief escaped me, I have never loved Jasper more.

"_No_! She has to make the choice. It's hers, none of this changes that. We can hide, forever if need be."

"Hiding won't keep them from her Edward."

"It will postpone it."

I can no longer distinguish who was speaking. I know what they're talking about. Bella. She, is who the Volturi are after. My head throbbed wildly, a memory gripping at the edge of my mind. Something was important, though I couldn't for the life of me think what. A thought has me shiver violently again, though not because I feel cold.

"_Now, you shall join me."_

And with that, the simple fact of the situation dawned on me.

Was Bella, the only one, who they were after?

***

We stepped out the car, ready to walk into the Cullens' house. Edward had already opened the door for me as I stepped out. He smiled, an attempt, I was sure, to soothe my expression, though the smile did not reach his eyes. And so it did not soothe me at all. I thought about what he'd told Alice earlier, and the way he'd addressed me with his new found theory_. "Lucie, I think I can see you dream." _Was this true? Did the barrier my mind created to prevent Edward's power from seeing my thoughts slacken in sleep? Was this why?

A pang of unease filled me, as I thought about my previous dreams. Previous _nightmares_. I didn't want Edward to see them. They were distorted and oddly personal, I was afraid if he saw them, he might work out the truth.

In which case, The Volturi wouldn't need to come.

Because he would seek them.

We were at the door now, Standing in the hallway. I noticed Emmett appear from another room. Odd. I hadn't realised he'd left school too. Carlisle was already listening to Edward and Alice's conversation intently. I drew nearer, curious to what they were discussing. Though unsure whether I wanted to hear it or not.

"Yes, yes, well, it's certainly an interesting theory." Carlisle was murmuring to himself, though I didn't pay attention or try to make sense of the words. It was him and Edward speaking now, and by the pained look on Edward's angelic face. I instantly knew what, or more aptly, _who _he was talking about. I walked away from them, breathing deeply and feeling very sleepy all of a sudden. Horribly weak again.

"Lucie?" Carlisle voice stopped me from closing my eyes.

"Hmm? I mean yes?" I mumbled, slurring my words slightly. Ugh, I sounded drunk. Carlisle just smiled fondly, looking more like a doctor than usual, I half expected him to take out a stethoscope.

"When did you last sleep?"

"Last night." I answered instinctively, but he shook his head.

"No - devoid of these dreams you've been having."

How did he know about those? My face must have been easy to read, as Carlisle explained quickly. "Edward told me you've been having them. Ones about the Volturi. You're not sleeping well, are you?"

Carlisle, is a seriously good doctor.

"H-How did you know?" I stutter in surprise.

"Well first of all Lucie, you look tired." I grimaced and Carlisle's expression immediately became apologetic. "Not that you don't look nice Lucie, no bags or anything, you just have dark rings round your irises, which can bee due to sleep deprivation and-"

"Actually.." Emmett is beside me now cutting across Carlisle's assessment of my health, grinning despite the fretful looks of everyone else. It appears whatever the situation is, Emmett can still grin in it. "Lucie just has those rings 'cause she's got freaky eyes!" He grinned widely, and I feel my face smile properly again; uplifted by Emmett's mood.

"Freaky eyes? Wow, thanks for the amazing compliment." I mutter, though my amused tone ruins the intentional sarcasm.

"Any time Luce!"

Ugh. And for a moment there, I thought I'd got rid of that nickname.

My scowl just made Emmett boom with laughter once more. Even Carlisle chuckles softly, though my own laughter dies as I see Rosalie coming down the stairs. Wearing a tight fitting red shirt, revealing her perfect figure, and making my own skinny self look terrible. With a horrid stab, I realised my shirt was the same colour red as hers. I've regretted wearing this top ever since I saw it. Now. Well now, Rosalie seems to hate me even more.

Her voice was sweet when she spoke, moving like a viper to Emmett's side.

"Oh look Lucie, we match." I'm the only one who notices the ice laced through her words, Emmett is clueless, and says the exact wrong thing to say in Rosalie's presence.

"Luce is her name now. No longer is she Lucie. Now, it is Luce." I can't smile despite his grin, my eyes trained on Rosalie's expression. She glares at me, as if it was my fault that Emmett's called me this, and that we are wearing similar clothes. Honestly, she looks far better. Isn't that enough?

"Nice." Is her cool retort. She walks dramatically out the room, and I feel awful again, I can't even feel angry towards Rosalie. I feel too weak for that. Only wishing that I could lie down somewhere and rest, just for a bit.

Why. Why didn't I faint and not awake? So tired. If I just closed my eyes..

No. This is important. I need to talk to Edward. Need to find out how much he saw of my dream. Did he know that his leaving was the reason for the Volturi's arrival? Could he feel how I felt when I saw him?

"Lucie?" With horror, I realise I've had my eyes close. I snap them back open, focusing on Esme's kind face. "You okay sweetheart? You've got no colour in your cheeks?"

_Don't worry. Make Edward talk to me. Then I'll go red I assure you. Then you've got all the colour you want._

I ignore my thoughts, though know this is true. Edward had made me blush more times than I could count. The thought of him makes me look round instinctively. Where was he? And Alice, for that matter?

"Esme?" I ask. "Where's Alice and Edward?"

"In the sitting room, I think."

"Thanks." Quickly, towards the door of the sitting room. I open it, but stop as soon as I hear the argument. It's too late to walk away though, the door is open too much. I walk into the room, where Alice and Edward are glaring at each other, amongst them are Carlisle and Jasper as well. I didn't know whether to leave the room or not. Aware of the silence that fell, the instant I entered it. Alice was beside me instantly, Jasper moving with her, as if attached to her by string. Though I know the bond is closer to steel chains.

"Don't worry Lucie, we're just discussing.." Edward's snort cut her off

Pretty heated discussion.

"No Lucie." Edward addressed me, and I felt an odd sensation when he said my name, though it was clear he was angry. "Alice and I were _arguing_." Why were he and Alice arguing?

"Oh. Um, well, don't stop for me…" My sentence sounds silly as it leaves my mouth, without really thinking about it. I want to be swallowed up by the ground again for my stupidity. Alice looks at me before turning back to Edward. And once again, I feel sleepy. Though when Alice's eyes meet Jasper's I have a feeling I know why. Still, I fight it. Making sure I don't miss out on their talk. I need to know. To stop them if possible. Edward is arguing again. Repeating Bella's name the most, and I can't blame him. As I feel myself, as if she should be hidden instantly. The Volturi are coming, and Alice doesn't know when. What if my dream had been accurate? What if they were already _here_? What if… But my mind cannot finish the sentence. They're all talking very quickly now, I can't make out what they say.

The high pitched murmurs became distant, Alice's has returned to it's usual soprano peal; her soft voice lulling me into peaceful state. It was the kind you felt before sleep, on the edge of consciousness, knowing that you could rest forever and not want to awake. Part of me rebelled silently, reminded me of the urgency, yet the other half craved for silence, desiring sleep.

As I felt my eyelids flicker, and I let the colours in my mind's eye swirl, I knew the lesser part of me had one the argument. I felt something sway, and then miracle cool washed over me, combined with tiredness, with one final sigh, I succumbed.

Letting my dreams take me.

To a place where I hoped, everything would make more sense.

***

**Edward's POV**

I wanted to hit my head against something hard. I'm truly sick of this gift of mine. Mind reading leaves your head sore and swollen, what I would give for peace and quiet. Yes, It's useful, but almost a curse. You cannot turn it on or off. It's permanently on, I can always hear people's thoughts, regardless of what they are. If only people would just stop _thinking_. All be like Bella and Lucie. Except, Bella wasn't like Lucie, was she? They were different, with Bella's mind completely impenetrable…And Lucie's might not be. I discarded the thought again, my head hurt from the information it was trying to bind and decipher, piecing together the revelations that had arisen in the last hour, each and everyone presenting a new problem. An enigma, unwilling to unfold.

With a sigh I noticed Alice was still cross with me. I could tell just by her irritable expression on her normally attractive pixie face, which was now scowling at me. And, of course not to mention the fact that I could hear…

_Honestly Edward, you can't just relate everything back to Bella. You said the Volturi were after Lucie in her vision, that's probably why I didn't see them. Ugh?! Why does this have to happen _now_? I'll never be able to take Bella shopping. _I cut off her thoughts (as much as I can) as soon as her mind rambles on about the torture she names 'shopping' when really it's just an excuse to spend some of the vast fortune we have. I don't have time for this, trivial nonsense. Shopping is irrelevant to what needed to be focused on.

We'd just argued over the situation that's _she _had overlooked. The situation with the Volturi, and _Bella_. My heart ached on the thought of her. She wasn't safe. Alice's words rang around my head again: _"She's with the Blacks Edward." _Yes. Because that made me feel loads better. The basic translation is: _she's with a bunch of werewolves. _That's _really _safe. I was still trying not to run over and snatch her from them. I didn't understand the friendship she had with that boy; Jacob was it? Though I knew why she was there. It was my fault. _If I hadn't had left her…_

No. That was irrelevant. I couldn't change the past.

Alice was talking again, though I didn't listen. I didn't blame Alice, if anything, I blamed myself, but it was just the horrible sensation of her not knowing, that had arisen my irrational anger. That, and the horrible feeling that I was missing something. A fact, a clue, about Bella. Something that was crucial.

I'd always relied in a sense, on Alice's gift, her future predictions were always normally so accurate, they - along with my own gift - where the reason we could spot danger quickly. _But she hadn't seen this. _And it was a chilling thought.

Yet, that, was not the thing that had shocked me.

_Lucie_.

I knew how I acted around her. I came across as callous and sarcastic. Smirking at her, rather than smiling, fighting against my thoughts and locking them deep within me. I knew this, despised it, and also relished it. Sarcasm was the safest approach. Lucie was safer without us in her life. Ignorance, was the safest way for her. Every second she and Bella were with us, they were in danger.

I had seen her dream. Finally, the fragile barrier that prevented me from seeing her thoughts had lifted, I had experienced what she had, felt her fear. Her dream had been chaotic, it made little sense. I had a feeling I hadn't witnessed all of it. I'd seen it before me, though experienced it _through _her mind, though it was as if I'd surveyed the scene from a different perspective. The memory of it was still fresh in my mind; vivid. And horrible.

_Lucie, standing in the moonlight, staring after a figure vanishing, an oddly familiar figure, though he'd vanished before I could make him out. Now, a new figure emerging from the dark forest, knowing he was a vampire; only that could be the reason for his graceful movements. Though something was off. The previous feeling of safety evaporating, this figure was emanating the opposite, something twisted. Sinister and dark, the mood was tainted around him. Knowing he was not good. And that The girl was in danger. She was alone. My presence did not account, I was merely a shadow._

_He drew closer, radiating light of his pale skin, surroundings revealed clearly, the dark forest, and night sky._

_The dress the girl was wearing lit up, the pale luminescent white was now splattered with drops of dark liquid. I could already see the fear as the girl recognised blood. Her own._

_She swayed then, as if she was ill, nauseated by the sight of blood. The vampire before her leaned closer, drawing back his hood. I wanted to scream, to run to her, protect against the figure, though it was as if I was glued to where I stood. Unable to move, unable to utter a word. Paralysed by _her _fear. The vampire's eyes were not golden, proving that the person did not feed off animals, instead, of the blood of humans. Though part of me knew this, suspected it. They were something far more disturbing. Even from hear, my distance, I could see as well as she could, probably better, because tears were falling down her alabaster cheeks. His eyes were a deep crimson. The exact colour, of her blood stained dress. _

_I could feel her emotions then. finally accessing her thoughts, they came thick and fast, and I knew if she'd spoken the words, she'd surely be screaming._

Blood.

Vampire.

That can't be good.

He's closer now, I can't move! No, he's too close, what's happening?

_His voice rasped, dry and hoarse, quiet, yet enough to make her freeze completely, and I could hear her heart to accelerate in undeniable horror. As he leant his lips closer to her throat, murmuring against the skin there. She cringed away, though like me, seemed bound where she stood, terrified. I heard his words and felt her horror as his lips broke the fine skin on her neck._

"_Now, you shall join me."_

Then, reality had reformed, I was in the car park with Jasper and Alice, her face flickering from me, to the ashen girl in Jasper's arms. I remembered the way I wanted to rip Lucie from him, still afraid someone was going to hurt her. To _bite _her. Her dream had been like one of Alice's visions, and I was terrified it would come true.

But then, I had worked out who the vampire was.

_Demetri_.

It had been his eyes, who had stared hungrily at Lucie's throat, his lips that had brushed across her skin, it made me feel sick. I'd wanted to scream in anguish, scared once more for the girl, trembling in fear. Her face turning steadily blue without oxygen.

She'd woken up then, and yet she hadn't cried. She did scream though, a sound that had scared me more than anything previously. She'd tried to stand up, an attempt to relieve Jasper of her scent, so potent. Alluring. But she'd swayed, and I'd caught her. I couldn't shake off the feeling of her skin. So warm, despite the cold. So… enticing.

The monster growls in approval of the touch. I hate myself for remembering it.

We'd driven here, I'd wanted to speak to Carlisle first, preferably in private. Though naturally, some of their thoughts reached me before I stepped in. Rosalie arrived and saw Emmett laughing with Lucie. She thought of nothing but herself, and also, I realised, with a kind of grim satisfaction, of myself as well.

_I am going to bite her head off, truly I am. Look at her, laughing with Emmett. He is mine. Not hers! Ugh, she's wearing the same colour top as me too. Though I look better, she still shouldn't have dared to wear it. Red doesn't suit her, she's too translucent, and skinny. And Edward is no better for leading her here in the first place; now that that stupid human girl knows everything. _

I had clenched my fists at this point. Wanting to shield the girl from Rosalie's thoughts. Her narrow-minded, vain and shallow mind. Disgusted by how she scrutinised her. As if Lucie would ever try to take Emmett from her? Rosalie was acting more cold hearted than usual, though I did not feel remotely sympathetic towards her. It was a regular occurrence. _It is only a matter of time until we have to move again. First Bella, now her, I really don't understand his infatuation with humans. Nor Alice's for that matter. What's so special about her anyway? _She had caught me glaring at her then. I must have looked angry, as she had the grace to look ashamed of her thoughts. She controlled them for the rest of the time. And her last thoughts were more civilised as she left. _Sorry. I'm being heartless again aren't I? _I murmured my reply darkly under my breath, knowing full well she would hear it.

"Yes."

_Sorry. I am. Really. It's just… _But I didn't care for her shallow mind, appalled, I walked with Alice to the sitting room, as Carlisle inspected Lucie.

_She looks tired. I should ask her about her sleeping patterns. _His thoughts are concerned towards her; the opposite of Rosalie's.

I stopped remembering the events, and looked back to Alice, she was staring at me, an incredulous look in her eyes, I couldn't help by smile slightly. She was my favourite sibling, I knew I didn't tell her how I much I cared for her often enough though. She looked very frustrated, Alice was funny when she was angry. Especially when she started to wave her arms around-

"Edward! You. Aren't. Listening!" I smiled wider. No. I wasn't. How did she guess?

"Sorry Alice, I was… remembering. Lucie's vision.." _Partially_.

"So you can see her dream Edward?" Carlisle sounded the calmest, and interested, in my theory. "What was it like?"

"Horrible." I can't prevent the word. It's true though, it _was _horrible. "It's definitely the Volturi. I think saw Demetri. It was like Alice's visions. But… different-" Carlisle's thoughts interrupt me.

_Interesting theory… I wonder if you really can see her dream. Or maybe it's just these visions she has. Her gift Edward, I think it's stronger that she realises. Already it seems puissant, the intensity of it…_

But I stopped listening to him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lucie sway slightly. I'd completely forgotten she was in the room. I moved on instinct. Nothing else mattered as I ran to her, catching her before she crumpled to the hard floor, ignoring Carlisle and Alice. Instantly, I was afraid, certain she was about to tremble and shake in my arms as she'd done previously. But she didn't.

She lay there, quite still, suspended by my arms, her breathing slowed and she sighed, in contentment, was it that? Or reluctance at succumbing to tiredness? I think It's the first. She looks so peaceful now, just before sleep, her face devoid of the panic and fear of before, her lavender eyelids fluttering slightly.

I looked at Alice for answers, and I saw the smile she was trying to contain. As if, at a private joke. Her mind blocked whatever she was smiling about, and if I felt like myself, I would be suspicious. But I don't feel like myself, I feel odd. Confused to an extent. But I can't concentrate on her for long. Not with the girl in my arms.

_She's asleep Edward _Alice thought. _I guess, it's time to test your theory._

I didn't hear whatever she said (or _thought_) next, because I was looking back to the fallen angel suspended in my arms. Her skin felt very hot against my cool touch, I was worried she had a fever, though it was probably just my perception of it, te contrast of my dead, ice skin. She didn't seem to mind though, despite my cold and hard embrace - I was cradling her in effect - she seemed fine. I didn't breathe as I held her, noticing the others had left form the room. Her scent was too powerful when I was this close. It was too dangerous for me to breathe. Too risky.

She wasn't fully asleep yet, her lips were moving, though I couldn't decipher what she was saying. Though I could tell she needed this. Rest. She hadn't been sleeping well, I knew. Her breathing hiked slightly and her heart fluttered; I felt the monster inside me moan. Whilst my heart, dead and cold, felt less remote, less lifeless. It felt like it should be beating. Just like hers was. Yet I knew the monster was still there. Deep inside me, just like it had been with Bella. Silently illustrating I was the main thing she needed protecting from. The Volturi were an issue yes. But If I couldn't control myself then their purpose would vanish. I loathed the way it listened to her heartbeat. So pure. It shouldn't have to endure my damned presence. The presence of a monster.

And then, I could finally access her stubborn mind, the one that I hadn't been able to reach. Protected somehow, enclosed, forbidden. Suddenly It all poured out, though I could not make sense of it. There were just swirls of beautiful colour.

And I forgot all else. All sound, thought, feeling; ceased.

I just stared at her.

As I watched Lucie dream.

***

**Ah... This chapter was originally WAY longer. But if I continue, I won't post till the weekend. So I decided to cut it short. I hoped this made more sense. Did you like Edward's POV? Or prefer Lucie's? Hers is, admittedly, easier, and moves the story forward faster. Because Edward thinks to damn much! But his is needed, so you can see he isn't such a sarcastic jerk all the time. I know he's portrayed that way. But he isn't really. Honestly. I think Edward's sweet beneath all that act? Don't you? :p Now. I need help. Do you want to hear about Edward seeing Lucie's dream next chappy? Maybe it could start with Edward's POV, and end with Lucie's?? Please review and tell me! If you have ANY queries and questions, just write them in the review! I'll answer them as soon as I get them!**

**Oh and by the way, when Lucie fainted, Mike found her first, quickly followed by Alice and Jasper. Alice went to get Edward, and, once dear Mike had left, they carried her outside. Sorry. that probably wasn't very clear.**

**Okay. This will explain, (hopefully) why some characters are appearing very OOC. First of all, this isn't **_**Twilight,**_** not even close. Lucie is a completely different character, and because the story is mainly from her perspective, you see how **_**she **_**sees SM's characters. I am well aware I can never do justice to them, because I did not write Twilight, or anything remotely publishable. I do try! But I'm sorry if my portrayal of them isn't up to scratch :(**

**Now. **_**Bella**_**. She will appear in the next chapter (or if it's too long, the chapter after that.) I know how much everyone hates her. Or, hates how I portray her: (like this review) "****Bella is a overly, suspicious, paranoid b*tch" AHhh!! Sorry people. She isn't really, just seems so from Lucie's perspective. So far, it's only been her and Edward's Portrayal of Bella. So it's all very bias, in which case, a Bella POV might help massively!**

**But please keep in mind that she isn't actually that evil. Yup. Lots of people mentioned that she needs **_**to let Lucie finish her sentence for once! **_**Ach. She was too shocked at the prospect of losing Jake there, which meant she didn't want to listen to Lucie, afraid to find out anymore ways in which her life is disintegrating … anyway. I won't give away too much… but… I might do a Bella POV, so you can understand better. Soon, she and Lucie will have **_**an actual conversation devoid of interruptions! **_***gasp* But. I need to know if you people want a Bella POV? Okays? **

**Lucie. Now She seems horribly weak and feeble here. I **_**know**_**, but she's shaken, scared by her vision, and what it might entail. There will be more drama from here onward. And she takes in the blame too much? Yes. Well that's who she is. She thinks that it's her fault for all this, after all, without her, the Cullens wouldn't have forgot about the Volturi. So she feels that this is her fault for putting Bella in danger…**

**Jasper. Is lovely I think. Did you like him in this chappy? :p I did! He's lovely to write, some people forget about him and Alice a lot. But they're important in this, don't worry.**

**Oh, and lastly. I'm really sorry about grammatical errors. I have no time to edit, as soon as I write these, I post them. I'll try to correct them as soon as I have the time, don't hesitate to point them out in reviews though! I really, really, really appreciate all the feedback I get. Especially criticism, that seriously helps too! Don't worry, if you hate this. Proclaim your hate! :p**

**Now. I hope I helped. In the story and A/N. If I've confused you more then.. Well… frog. But ah well, just review or PM any questions, which I shall do my best to answer!**

**Now. I realise I've been horrid, to anyone who's bothered to read this. So. I'm feeling generous. Whoever reviews, will get a sneak peak of the conversation with Lucie 'n' Bella! (which might be next chapter…)(and if you're anon… well then I can't, but you'll get my happiness, how about that?) So yup. Review, and you get A SNEAK PEAK!**

**It'll be interesting to see if my review count rises significantly with the prospect of sneak peaks…**

**REVIEW=SNEAK PEAK!**

**Lily- has written a tediously and tremendously long A/N **_**again**_**! She hopes she hasn't frightened you away too much, and has lots of sneak peaks waiting for those who review *hint, hint* :p**


	22. The Reality and Delusion

**Hey?**

**Okay. So, for the last hour or so, I **_**should **_**have been writing up my English essay (the whole 11 pages of it) on '**_**Mercutio's and Tybalt's Deaths and How They Were Shown to the Audience by Shakespeare' **_**(and yeah. That really is the stupid title for it, long eh?) in neat. However. Instead. I've written this chapter. So first of all, **_**be grateful for it! **_**And I'm sorry that it was rushed, this one came out a nit weird in my opinion, but rest assured, next chapter will withhold more action I think. So don't hate me if you don't like this. But please review. I felt down last chappy, but the response I got was staggering, and really cheered me up by all the fabulous reviews.**

**394? Wow. Close to 400! Now **_**that's **_**an achievement :p I'd like to dedicate this chapter to two reviewers particularly, as they seriously brightened up my tedious week. So yeah, a big thanks to: **Jade Lyssy Swan **and **AquamarineSafire **because they wrote some seriously awesome reviews! (Not that I don't appreciate **_**every single one**_**! No matter how small :p)**

**IMPOORTANT NOTE: (with regards to several questions on the subject, I just wan to make this clear!) This whole story, has been set **_**just after **_**New Moon, at the beginning of Eclipse. Okay? (but remember… New Moon was slightly different for Bella here. You'll find out Next Chapter. If I still have strength to write it…)**

**Anyway. I have to do this essay. ;( I'll be seriously depressed with the prospect of **_**that**_**, cheer me up like last time? Please? Review? Make my day? The more reviews, the faster I'll update! **

**Anyway. Without further ado: enjoy!**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

Yet I knew the monster was still there. Deep inside me, just like it had been with Bella. Silently illustrating I was the main thing she needed protecting from. The Volturi were an issue yes. But If I couldn't control myself then their purpose would vanish. I loathed the way it listened to her heartbeat. So pure. It shouldn't have to endure my damned presence. The presence of a monster.

And then, I could finally access her stubborn mind, the one that I hadn't been able to reach. Protected somehow, enclosed, forbidden. Suddenly it all poured out, though I could not make sense of it. There were just swirls of beautiful colour.

And I forgot all else. All sound, thought, feeling; ceased.

I just stared at her.

As I watched Lucie dream.

***

**The Reality and Delusion**

**Edward's POV:**

The colours were dim at first, forming seemingly out of nothing, her breathing steadied, and I watched her dreams in absolute wonder. Butterflies flew gracefully in the air, trailing past swirls of beautiful ambient light. I gasped as her dream continued, all else, had vanished, only Lucie mattered. Her, and her dream.

Running in the light… Laughing as she followed butterflies, soaring as she joined their flight. I watched in wonder as the colours intensified and progressed, each image dissolving into another, each filled with unmistakable joy, devoid of despair that I had feared and experienced previously. I Couldn't help but wonder as the dream unfolded, so content: did_ she ever dream of me? _I hated myself for the thought. If she did, it would have been a nightmare anyway.

As I watched them however, half my mind gripped, the other concentrated on her weight. She was evidently asthenic, weak, from her slender build. Though I knew how she'd deny it. Determined as she was, to stay strong. And not appear anything close to weak. But still, she too light for my liking. She wasn't anorexic or anything like that, at least, _not yet, _but she was definitely underweight, I'd informed Esme of this, and had sighed at her abortive attempts to make her eat more. I'd laughed when I'd found out what she'd done to help. She'd made her muffins, but these wouldn't cure the issue. And now the situation held no humour. I knew the cause though; she was too stressed to eat, I could tell. Too stressed to eat, too stressed to _sleep_, she was seriously deprived.

Her relaxed state was peaceful; I didn't want to leave her, captivated as I was by her thoughts. Ones, which I could so rarely access, and were now flying at me. But a sound at the door had me lower her to the sofa. (Well, to be more apt, an overheard _thought_, had me stop looking at her.) Alice. _Edward?_

The moment I'd my touch had left her skin, the reality, and consequences of wasted time dawned horribly upon me, I turned to face Alice. Urgency burning through my eyes. Her thoughts were filled with questions, and I sighed at them. _You can stay if you want, I just came to see if you were okay, are you? So can you see them, her dreams? What are they like? _I frowned at her and raised an eyebrow. She grinned sheepishly, and I joined her at the doorway, and hated the feeling burning in me. One that I couldn't pinpoint. A mixture between anxiety, and something else…

"Well?" She huffed impatiently, I smiled, realising I hadn't answered her questions.

"I can see them. And they're…" I struggled for a word. "Entrancing." She beamed beatifically, though I didn't understand her happiness. My own soon vanishing as I remembered the issue of the Volturi. The one that kept getting overlooked in the disarray of events.

"The Volturi." They're name came through my mouth as a hiss. "When are they coming Alice?"

"Don't worry, they won't come yet, for a while… I think they've decided on a date, two weeks maybe, that's when they plan.." I didn't listen to the rest of Alice's reassurances. My mind was screaming at me. My mood from earlier had evaporated, I was suddenly irate. My anger flaring un-expectantly.

Two weeks? Was it only two more weeks in which Bella-so pure and innocent- would remain human? Only two weeks, in which she'd keep her untarnished soul. Before she became eternally damned?

_No_.

I couldn't contain my angst now, I didn't mean Alice to be in the thick of it, my words left my mouth hard, spoken through clenched teeth. I was doing all I could not to run to La Plush. That, was where Bella was. Visiting the werewolves. Putting herself in danger. Again.

"_Think_, isn't good enough Alice." Nothing was good enough. "We have to act, _now_."

"No."

I turned sharply; it was not Alice who had spoken. Instead, turned to see Carlisle, my father in many ways, staring at me, a consoling look in his butterscotch eyes. So different from my own at the moment. Dark, and brooding. He walked towards me slowly, as one would walk when approaching someone with a loaded gun. Like a policeman would, when approaching a murderer.

A monster.

"Edward, leaving won't help," I didn't want to listen, Jasper had already given me this lecture. Couldn't they see? It _would _help, I would do all it could take to shield Bella. Everything I could to protect her, hide her forever if need be. Carlisle's voice too calm for the situation at hand, sailed back to me. "You know that. We're not leaving." He walked into the kitchen and I followed him angrily, ignoring the others in the room, blocking out their curious thoughts. They didn't matter, and I despised their mood. Why so calm?

My reply left my lips bitterly, I instantly regretted it. I never usually spoke to Carlisle like this. My mood was dark; black and turbulent. I knew this, yet did not acknowledge it. I would regret it late, but for now, I only felt anger towards their lack of concern. Their constant thoughts pleading with me, each saturated with sympathy. _I know how you feel. _No. They didn't. They couldn't imagine.

"_You _don't have to," I said, my voice like ice, speaking to them all, "I'll go with her, alone." there was a silence after my callous remark, still, it wasn't long enough for me to regret voicing it.

"And what Edward," Carlisle said, his voice little above a whisper. "If Bella doesn't _want _to leave. She has her family here, her friends. Are you sure she's ready to give all that up? Are _you _ready to ask that from her?"

I couldn't say anything to that. The truth of Carlisle words was heartbreaking, he was right. What if, Bella didn't want to? I only knew, I wouldn't make her, but I would make sure she was safe. It was the least I could do, for my actions. I came to the only rational conclusion. If I couldn't hide her, I would have to face them. They would _never _touch her. I wouldn't allow that, ever.

"Then we have to fight them." I stated coolly, sure of my words. Only hoping they didn't look too deeply into the way they sounded, how lost I felt.

Suddenly, Emmett (who had been silent until this point) broke in to a large grin, rubbing his hands together eagerly.

"_Exc_ellent!" Rosalie beside him, smirked affectionately at his response. And even I couldn't help but smile slightly, at his enthusiasm. Anything in which Emmett could portray his strength, (fighting being the best way) got him excited. Like a child being given the prospect of a chocolate factory.

I kept the smile planted on my face, as they began discussing, only waking up from my thoughts when Alice started to pull me away from them. I knew, only she could get through to me at the moment, but her thoughts were jumbled, and I didn't try to decipher them. My head hurt enough as it was.

"Edward. You need to hunt."

"What?"

"Seriously Edward, just go, your eyes are too dark. It's dangerous. Especially for Lucie."

"Oh." I'd forgotten about her, in the midst of all the chaos. Lucie, still asleep? Her dreams untroubled? Alice was right, I hadn't hunted in three days, my eyes were evidently showing my thirst.

Well at least I had an excuse for my irrational anger now.

"Just go," Alice said calmly, "she'll be okay, I know she will." I left then, but couldn't help but wonder, whether it was Bella or Lucie who she was referring to. I didn't want to access her mind further, remembering her subtle yet cryptic thoughts.

_You are so blind Edward. Oblivious to all else_. I'd never really appreciated my gift. The beauty of reading minds - well beauty would be an overstatement; it would be beautiful if it were Bella's mind to read- obviously, was knowing what people were thinking. But since I could not read Bella's thoughts, not access her pure mind, I had to manage by reading her eyes. Not that they gave away much most of the time, but those deep chocolate brown pools gave me some insight. I could rely on them at least, to understand her a little better.

I moved swiftly through the rooms, planning to exit via the sitting room window (it being the quietest escape, and least prone to attracting attention.) But as I crossed the room, suddenly found my self rigid. Held in place by one sound.

A heart thudding rapidly. Lucie's heart. The one thing I'd forgotten again, as I turned, to look at her, spread eagled on the floor, evidently having fallen in her sleep, _and I hadn't been able to catch her. _

A thudding possibly indicating she was nervous. A thudding that only occurred when in two situations. I instantly knew the one she was experiencing.

A thudding pushing affront the monster inside, spurring my body forward, as it growled eagerly at her position. So weak. So vulnerable. The monster smelling her scent; rich and potent. Apple blossom and lilies, mixed with the thing it most desired. The monster wanting so desperately to taste Lucie and consume her blood whilst slowly hearing her thudding heartbeat fade. Until it stopped. Completely.

I found my body moving without my command. The monster taking control, thirst consuming me. Until another sound emitted from the girl. A sound that stopped me.

"No, no, don't-leave…"

I forgot my thirst, in that instant; I was suspending her again, experiencing her dream. No longer happy and free. I didn't understand. Moments before she'd been peaceful, the colours from before had ceased, leaving only darkness. The light from before, and yet now I could see a dark forest before me, her looking after a figure in the distance (still vaguely familiar), whilst she pled silently.

Was it possible? That her dream had changed, from serene to disturbed, because my presence had left. I had left her, to sleep, to rest. Yet now, she was getting the opposite. Though I as I watched, her dream transformed, her breathing lessened, and became relaxed once more, as colours swam before me again. A girl, running after trails of light emitting from the flight path of butterflies once more. It made no sense. A normal dream.

And then, slowly, her dream blurred again, became distant and jumbled. I was confused, wondering if her nightmare was about to reform, scared if her pulse rose, scared that the monster would arise. She let out a different sound. A beautiful one, so quiet, yet it didn't portray how peaceful she felt.

A small sigh. Strange, did I detect annoyance?

And then, her eyelids began to flutter open.

I only prayed the monster would not resurface.

***

**Lucie's POV:**

I wondered if I was experiencing twilight sleep: a state of partial consciousness in which awareness of pain is diminished or abolished. Should I be in pain? I wondered to myself; I wasn't at the moment. I couldn't remember why I felt so, or how I'd come to rest whoever I was. Reality or delusion? I couldn't remember much. Or, I just didn't want to remember, at least, not yet.

I felt oddly comfortable and relaxed for a change, as if I was floating, suspended by cool water, lying in a blissful and serene state. Safe, for once, untroubled. The remnants of a recent dream blurred before me - I tried fruitlessly to hold onto it, to remember the images that had just flown at me, wanting to relive it again. I sighed, annoyed, when they remained indistinct. Still, I didn't open my eyes, not just yet. I felt too comfortable at the moment, my eyelids were heavy, but the rest of me was, well, _floating_. I knew this was the exact thing which my body had been yearning for: rest. And for now, it didn't seem like such a bad thing, not at all. In fact. I was getting rather fond of it.

My skin however, felt odd. Partially warm and hot from whatever dream I'd had, yet at the same time, I felt cold. Almost as if, something (like ice) was cooling against my like skin. Something cold, something hard, and something that smelt… _irresistible_…

Oh no.

My eyelids fluttered feebly, but then the information I'd just proceeded, clicked, making me snap my eyes open.

Then, I blinked furiously three times, trying to clear my sleepy eyes and blurred vision, this reaction, emitted a sound, a deep throaty sound, from whoever was suspending me. A chuckle.

Once my vision was perfect, I awoke fully with a jolt, as I looked straight at him. The person who was suspending me from his marble arms. And the one who was chuckling.

Then, I did the most rational thing yet: I gasped.

"E-Edward!" I choked, in utter shock, kicking myself for not realising sooner. Man, I was stupid. He was holding me, _carrying _me, and his amused laughter made his entire lean frame vibrate slightly.

A dozen questions spread through me, each an everyone urgent and shocked. Why was he carrying me? Why was he laughing? What had just happened?

"Finally decided to wake up, Sleeping beauty? Hmm, I didn't even have to kiss you awake.." Edward chuckled; amused it seemed, by my flustered glare. Making me blush violently. And answering my most prominent question. The one, which I'd subconsciously known the answer to.

Oh crud. I'd fallen asleep.

"I- did I, just…"

"Collapse spectacularly; cause everyone to assume you were in need of medical attention, and were about to have an epileptic fit; interrupt Alice and I's conversation; and finally be saved by none other than myself?" I looked at him in horror. He grinned wider, "Yes. Yes, I believe you did."

If I wasn't red before, I certainly was now.

"S-sorry." I managed to stutter, but when Edward smiled casually in response, I realised the sarcasm in his previous statement. So naturally, I felt stupid. And couldn't help but notice that he was still carrying me. The question blurted out my mouth as soon as I thought it.

"Why are you carrying me?" I was annoyed, because of the smile still on his beauteous face, did he find my irritation annoying still? Yes. I knew he did. Yet the knowledge did nothing to lessen my sudden irate mood.

"Because, in your sleep, you cried out: 'Edward, carry me!' and I, being the gentleman that I am, responded to your request." I felt my face flush in humiliation, unsure this time, of sarcasm. Knowing full well, that I frequently talked in my sleep.

"Oh no, I didn't, did I?"

"No," Edward murmured, amused. "but your reaction was hilarious." I just scowled petulantly at his comment, but wasn't angry at him, only glad that Emmett wasn't present. He still hadn't put me down, I noted and I wondered whether he'd tried to distract my knowledge of that factor.

"Lucie, you're too light."

"No, I'm not." I muttered indignantly, "Besides, you can't judge, your unnecessary strength makes it impossible to even estimate, let alone judge and criticise." It was true. He couldn't judge how light I was, not with him being able to lift a ten tonne weight and still refer to it as _light_.

"My strength is far from _unnecessary _as you put it, with the danger that occurs to people like you and-" But he stopped himself, I bit my lip self consciously, knowing that he was about to say _Bella_. He carried on though, smoothly as ever. "and for your information, I happen to be an excellent judge of how heavy things are." He retorted coolly.

"Is that so?" I grumbled, deciding to let the unspoken person, who invariably seemed to be fixated in Edward's mind, drop. "so, would you, or would you not, be able to lift an elephant?"

He just laughed. I glared at him. "Well?" I prompted, cross that he wouldn't take this seriously, but regretting use of the word 'elephant'.

"Why, did elephants come into this?"

"Don't change the subject.." I muttered.

"It was you, I believe, who changed it in the first place."

I couldn't argue to that. I lay there, still suspended, in stony silence for a moment, trying to keep up my brooding mood, knowing it, was the only rational one to feel. Only allowed one. But as usual, it slipped through my frail grasp. Much like the dream before, only just memorable, yet indistinct.

I looked up then though, wanting to see him properly, still feeling slightly sleepy, though considerably more awake than before. I was startled when his eyes were devoid of the previous humour, and instead were staring into my own with a significant amount of fervour. His voice sounded soft and distant when he spoke, though I didn't retreat my gaze.

"Can you remember your dream?"

_Not anymore. Not with your smouldering eyes looking at me like that. No, now, I've completely forgotten it. No thanks to you._

The dream, distant, that had been hanging elusively on the edge of my subconscious fell away at the sound of his velvet voice, and sight of his dark eyes.

"No, not anymore, must of um… slipped my mind." I muttered, embarrassed, and oddly self conscious. My hair was loose, but it fell behind me (as a result of my position) and therefore was unable to aid my act in trying to conceal the blush, that I knew was forming violently on my cheeks.

"Hmm, that's odd," Edward murmured softly, "don't you remember them normally? I wonder what made you forget it?"

_Hmm, odd indeed. Take a guess Edward. Take a guess._

"Hang on," I muttered crossly, knowing full well that he knew the reason why I'd forgotten it (a.k.a: _him_) my expression showed as much. "Didn't you claim you could see my dreams earlier? Did you see… that one?" I trailed off, instantly finding that I hoped he didn't. What if I'd just dreamed of _him_? I sincerely hoped I didn't do that either, Edward didn't need anything else to boost his already vast ego. Not to mention, increase my embarrassment further. If I went any redder, I wouldn't be distinguishable from a tomato. (Apart from the whole thing with the hair; eyes; body; limbs, and speech… well okay, I'd just be the same _colour _as one.) But it was his next words, so quiet, so powerful, wordlessly illustrating their importance to him, confirmed my fears.

"I did."

I don't know what happened next. Edward lowered me then, as if he only just noticed that he'd been suspending me. _Cradling _me. But not before I had seen his expression. An expression, that I was sure, mirrored the one I currently had. One halfway between several emotions: confusion; incredulity, and unmistakable awe.

The moment he'd placed me on the sofa, and when his cool touch left my own (what felt like burning) skin, the oddest sensation occurred to me. Was it possible, that without his touch, I felt _colder_?

I felt silly on the sofa, while he was standing. I hastened to stand up too, meaning to lithely jump to my feet, preferably in an elegant way. But, being _me_, the opposite thing happened. In my rush, I stood up to quickly, resulting in severe head rush, which inevitably led to me swaying, only to be steadied at the elbow by Edward. But as soon as I was stable, he removed his touch as quickly as he could. Almost as if he didn't like the touch of my skin, as if it pained him.

I remembered my forgotten question. "And…?" I prompted, trying to break the silence. "What was it _really _about, devoid of butterflies, or elephants."

"Elephants again?" The amused tone was back, he smiled, a radiant smile, showing all his perfect white teeth. But I wasn't convinced, I knew that smile all too well, having used the exact same one, throughout most of my life. It was the smile akin to the likes of a pumpkin's one. Where you feel like your insides have been ripped from you, leaving you hollow and shallow, still smiling, like you don't care, or feel.

When inside, you're falling apart.

It was also his eyes, that gave him away; the smile false in them, portraying the real emotion, sadness, and was it …longing? _Longing to see Bella again?_

But that wasn't the thing that scared me. Edward's eyes were dark. Too dark.

Suddenly, it made sense why he'd put a space of two meters between us. I had no idea on how he'd controlled his apparent thirst when I was in his arms. No idea, _how close he could have been _to succumbing to that thirst.

However, this recent found news, regarding his thirst, how much he craved for blood. Had the least appropriate effect to my pulse. Which quickened considerably, a live target. Causing Edward's expression to contort; it was so minimal, no normal human would have noticed it. Hell, I don't think any _vampire _would have noticed it either, but I was watching his face very, _very _closely. I knew, I had to talk.

"That wasn't all, was it?" I didn't break eye contact, steeping closer to him. He mirrored the movement, taking yet another step _away _from me, and now, casting me a glare. I didn't flinch at his look though, determined to find out what he had seen whilst I'd been unconscious. And, not get distracted. Like I so often seemed to invariably do, in his presence.

"'The last temptation is the greatest treason: to do the right thing for the wrong reason.'"

He whispered, so softly, I was unsure whether he'd intended me to hear it or not. I scowled again, knowing my eyes were beginning to flash emerald in impatience.

"Enough with these cryptic quotes already! Honestly, quoting people seems to be one of your favourite things. It's incredibly unoriginal." I muttered, but to my surprise, his lips were turning up at the corners, as if fighting back the urge to smile. I was having the opposite effect on him, I continued furiously. "besides, I _really _don't need T.S Eliot's advice."

"Did you know that T.S. Eliot is an anagram of _toilets_?" I whirled round, shocked, to see Emmett beside me, having evidently appeared halfway through our conversation. The atmosphere in the room suddenly seemed devoid of all previous tension. Edward relaxed visibly; glad it seemed, by Emmett's presence.

Then, my mind processed Emmett's words. I raised _both _my eyebrows. He just retorted by only raising one, causing the scowl on my face to intensify, I knew my expression was becoming more and more petulant by the minute.

Yes. Because _that _wasn't random. Not at all.

"So it is." Said Edward quietly. "Quite right Emmett." He grinned in response.

"Well, you learn something every day." I muttered under my breath, though I knew they could hear.

There was a pause, then:

"Hey, you're awake Lucie!"

"You noticed?" I muttered sarcastically.

"Thought you'd never wake up…"Emmett said to himself, the grin widening. His tone implicating more. That was odd, why would he say that?

"Why?" Emmett shook his head ruefully, and then approached me, as if he was about to tell me that someone had died. His tone was ominous when he spoke. What was so serious?

"Lucie, did you know you _snore_?"

I should have suspected as much.

"I do _not_!"

"Do too!"

"Don't!"

"Do!"

"I'm going hunting." Edward stated briskly abruptly ending the trivial argument, already at the open window. Honestly, what was their aversion to using _doors _in this house. It seemed, at every opportunity, they constantly wanted to leap through the window. Yes, I knew they had all the power and agility to do so without getting hurt, but wouldn't a door be easier? It was just as effective, not to mention more polite. Maybe Edward was just showing off…

I cut off my thoughts then. I was rambling, this always happened when I got cross, 'making molehills out of mountains' as my dad used to say. Wait. Hang on a second, that didn't make sense, did it? Ah, he used to say: 'making mountains out of molehills.' Yeah, that was it.

God. I was seriously loosing the plot.

I put it down to sleep deprivation. But hadn't I just slept?

Time to face the facts: I was going mad.

Great. Just great.

"Me too bro!" Emmett called cheerfully, out of the window, only shouting a reply of: "See you later Luce!" Leaving me alone in the sitting room. Though the moment they left, everything came rushing back. All that time with Edward, and I had wasted it. Not once asking the important questions. Or addressing the ominous matter that lay ahead.

My stomach churned sickeningly.

The Volturi.

They were after Bella, ready to check up to see if she was soon human. Something they intended to change. Forever.

"Lucie?" I didn't move, or make any respond to the voice, not with the information plaguing my mid. The information that hadn't been addressed properly. We had to act! And soon. Now, even. Why was I standing here? Why wasn't I asking questions? Why wasn't I screaming yet?

"Lucie, please, talk to me!" I still didn't speak, but slowly, turned to face Alice, her grim expression did nothing to help my calamitous thoughts.

"Oh Alice," I whispered. "What are we going to do?" I felt like collapsing into the sofa. But didn't. Forcing myself to stay strong. She seemed at once to understand my meaning, her cool embrace was fleeting as she hugged me tightly, whispering softly in my ear.

"It's okay Lucie. They're not coming-"

"They are!" I persisted, my heart rate increasing, "I know they are Alice, and they, I th-think they want something, from… m-me."

"Shhh," Alice murmured, but her voice was frantic, not soothing me at all. "No, it's okay, they're not coming _yet_, we still have a few weeks. I think I saw..-"

"'_They're not coming _yet_?' _doesn't help Alice, _thinking _you saw doesn't either! It's my fault," My voice cracked, "my fault they're coming.. I sh-should of, told you earlier.."

"Lucie!" Alice scolded, I cringed back at her tone, "Will you stop interrupting me! And seriously, _please _stop blaming yourself." She frowned. It was odd how Alice had such an effect over me. The phrase: 'size doesn't matter,' was completely, and utterly true.

"Sorry." I muttered, she waved her arms in exasperation.

"For the _last time_: don't be!"

I smiled despite myself; Alice's frustration was quite funny.

"Blame my bad mood on Edward. He was being cryptic. Again." Alice was silent though at this, her expression suddenly shocked. "What's wrong Alice?" I whispered, my voice rising in pitch.

"Edward, was here? Just now?" She whispered, her neat eyebrows mashing together in a frown.

"Yeah… he just left, needed to hunt.."

"He should have gone earlier." Alice said quietly, I just stared shocked, was he really that thirsty? But Alice shook herself slightly, changing her expression so quickly, I wondered if I'd misread it. I looked at her confused. She smiled back though, taking me gently (but forcefully,) by the arm and into the hallway. "Come on Lucie." She muttered, I let her take me, deciding, in the least, to make her happy. It was only when we were halfway up the stairs, that my resolve faltered. I tried to say something, but Alice only shushed me impatiently; a sly smile turning up the corners of her lips; her dark eyes gleaming with something close to mischief. The whole effect, causing her face to look even more pixie-like. And making me, _very _suspicious.

Then, we were at the door to a room, and the awful realisation of what Alice intended to do, washed over me.

Oh no.

"Lucie, may I present, le salon pour Lucie!" Alice said ardently. I shook my head violently, trying desperately to search for an escape, finding none, I backed out of the room.

"No. Alice. No." Alice grabbed by arm, and slammed the door shut.

"Ugh! Lucie, stop being… Lucie."

Great. I had my own adjective now, did I? Just great.

"Honestly, you're just like Bella. Look, we're only going to put on some makeup and-" She carried on listing the various ways in which way she was planning to steadily kill me by ways of pampering. I sighed.

"It'll be great!" Her tone was unnaturally hyper, but she frowned when she saw she hadn't my grim expression. "Oh c'mon, _please _Lucie. You'll enjoy it."

Translation: please, I enjoy torturing you.

I sighed, giving in to her now puppy dog eyes.

"Hang on, did you say _we're_?" I muttered, recognising the plural in her previous sentence, as Alice began zooming me towards a chair. And yes, the only words to describe the way she was moving now was indeed: zooming. Honestly, if hadn't known her better, I would have thought Alice was high on something. Caffeine maybe? _Normal _people weren't meant to be so… _enthusiastic _about things like this.

Though admittedly, Alice wasn't exactly normal, was she?

"Looks like you've got me doing your hair." I froze at the voice. Seeing her ethereally beautiful face reflected in the mirror. Rosalie. I thought back the urge to gulp.

"Mhmm!" Alice hummed, grabbing various assortments of clothing and dubious looking beauty products. She was seemingly oblivious to the tense mood that had formed between Rosalie and I. "Rose is better when it comes to hair I think. But I'm _definitely _the pro at clothes!" Rosalie laughed. Actually _laughed_. And she didn't sound at all cold, but warm, and kind. Had I misheard?

"If you're sure Alice." She murmured quietly, giving me an amused _friendly _look. One that I could only respond to by gaping. Shocked by the abrupt sociability, not that I complained, it was just a shock.

"I _am_." Alice muttered darkly. Then, she turned to face me. A horribly purposeful look in her tawny eyes. A look, that I feared considerably. "Lucie, what do you normally put on?" Put on? Did she mean clothes? Rosalie laughed lightly.

"I don't think she wears any makeup Alice."

Oh, so _that's _what she meant.

"Ah, no, I don't." _And don't intend to… _I added silently.

"Well, it's time for that to change!" Alice squealed happily, but then, the door opened, Esme stood outside it. I don't think I'd ever be so pleased to see her. I willed the powers of telepathy to work, _just this once, _and stared meaningfully at Esme, portraying as hard as I could, to get the message across, without voicing it out loud.

_Help me!_

"Ah, so that's where you all are," She mused, smiling. I continue to stare at her intently, and finally she made eye contact. But to my horror, her expression only portrayed sympathy, rather than actual help. "Lucie, you okay?" she looked concerned now.

"Fine." I choked. I was now. I wouldn't be once I had to endure what Alice had planned. But Esme seemed to realise my discomfort, she suddenly said: "Oh, and Alice, Jasper wants you."

Alice's face fell.

"Oh, tell him to wait."

"I think he wants you, _now._" Esme said, I managed to smile slightly. _Thank you Esme. Thank you._

"He'll be fine."

"I don't think he will Alice, he looks depressed…" Esme trailed off, wow, she was a good actress, unless, Jasper really did need Alice.

"Oh okay.." Alice finally succumbed indignantly, in an instant, rushing to the door. "I'll be right back Lucie, don't worry." She said quickly, in a rush to meet Jasper. Esme closed the door behind her, as she and Alice went downstairs. A felt a wave of relief, just having narrowly escaped Alice's makeover. But my relief vanished in a second, when I realised I wasn't alone.

Rosalie.

"Lucie…" Her voice had lost her previous friendliness. It wasn't cold now. Just empty. She stared at me, with cool, golden eyes. I mentally prepared for her outburst. Sure that before had only been an act. For a second, I think I'd believed she'd liked me. Though I knew I was wrong. So when she said, what she said next, I was surprised to say the least.

"I'm a bitch. Sorry."

"Wh-what?" I gasped. Did Rosalie just admit that she was a bitch? No, not admit, _say_, that she was.

"Don't worry," She laughed, but the sound was humourless. "I can't expect you to think any higher of me."

"I-I don't think your that Rosalie, honest." I stuttered, she smiled.

"You should do though, with how I acted." I didn't talk, sensing she wanted to say more. She sighed, and continued, her voice quiet. "I have a reason…" There was another silence. "Look. Before I say anything, I need you to answer a question."

"O-okay."

"Don't look so worried, I don't bite." I grimaced, and she grinned widely, showing all her teeth, teeth, that I knew, could slice through flesh easily as they could with butter. "Well okay, I _do _bite, but I won't bite you. My record is clean." The way she said it was almost with pride, I tried to smile, but my confusion must have been evident on my features. "I've never tasted human blood."

"Oh, umm, well done?" She laughed again quietly. But then turned serious once more, I remember to reply. "And I'll answer anything Rosalie, or I'll try to." I said honestly, not wanting to jeopardise Rosalie's new found attitude towards me.

"Okay, thanks," She looked at me fully in the eyes. "I know about your gift Lucie. It's powerful, Carlisle has many theories on it, but tell me: have you seen my past?" Her question had me rigid. Not the question itself, but her tone and mentioning of Carlisle's theories. Had this been discussed a lot? The way Rosalie spoke about my 'gift' made it sound powerful. They didn't understand. It wasn't. _I _wasn't.

"No." I whispered. "I've only seen Jasper's. His and-" Is stopped myself, should I tell her about Bella's. It was too late now, she had an eyebrow raised. "Bella's." I muttered, but instead of probing the question, she frowned at the sound of her name.

"Bella…" She murmured quietly. " I feel sorry for you Lucie."

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"Because.." but she stopped herself, much like I had done previously. "I'm getting off track," She murmured quietly, though I didn't think that was the reason for her not finishing her sentence. "I knew you hadn't seen my past. For one thing, I don't think you'd of been able to look me in the eye if you did." Her tone had suddenly become darker, more sinister. But still, curiosity masked any other emotion that came to this news.

"Why?" I asked again, hoping I didn't sound tactless.

"When I said my record was clean. I wasn't lying. I've never, ever, drank human blood. But that doesn't mean I haven't killed anyone. You don't want to see my past, I hope you never have to. I don't want you to experience it too, it's far from pleasant."

"Oh," I said softly, but I wasn't shocked. "I've seen Jasper's past. Trust me, I can deal with, err, horror." My sentence sounded silly.

"I don't think you could Lucie." Said Rosalie, quieter still. "Jasper was brought up in a war zone. He was used to killing, he did so on instinct. His actions were swift, normally with out meaning. But when I killed. I did it for a purpose. I did it because of what _they _did to me." She continued, her voice became animated, in a darker way. "I was beautiful Lucie, even as a human, I was beautiful. It's a curse, it made me vain, I coveted everything, and almost always gained it. So much so, that my beauty blinded what I wanted most, craved most. I wanted a child. One thing, that being a vampire, I'll never be able to truly have." She seemed to have forgotten my presence almost, as her voice became distant, reliving the memories, I knew she despised.

"I got engaged to a man called Royce. I thought it was everything I wanted. He seemed charming, rich, respectful. He made me a princess."

Her voice was actually scaring me now, my pulse raised, at her words, each spoken with such abhorrence, it was as if, with each one, she became darker.

"He and his friends did something terrible to me Lucie. I _never _want anyone else to experience it. My hatred towards them, turned to anger. But anger doesn't heals wounds, only deepens them. When you're hurt like that. Have something that constantly eats away in your subconscious, you can never be truly whole." She looked up though, and composed her features. Looking beautiful despite her evident sorrow. I'd misjudged Rosalie. She was not shallow, she was just trying to conceal her dark past.

To conceal her hidden pain.

"But I'm scaring you, aren't I?" She said softly, "I'm sorry. Truly, I just wanted you to understand, that if I'm ever callous, and bitchy. I'm sorry. Edward doesn't believe me, see…" She grimaced. "You know how I acted to you earlier?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, remembering her glare of ice, as she saw me with Emmett.

"Well, times that by ten…" She smiled slightly, "And you'll get what I was like to _Bella_." Wow. Bella had had it _bad_. "So Edward kinda well, hates me for that."

"Oh."

"And Lucie, please don't tell her, or Edward, or anyone really." She frowned again. "I'm sorry you had to hear it, I just needed to let you know, I'm not really that evil. Not to the core."

"I know Rosalie, and thanks."

"No problem. Now…" She looked at the pile of clothing Alice had procured earlier. "But this on," She threw a pale green, long sleeved, top to me, it felt expensive. Silk maybe. Rosalie grinned as I grabbed it.

"I just don't think red is your colour."

I smiled, but couldn't forget her words.

_When you're hurt like that. Have something that constantly eats away in your subconscious, you can never be truly whole._

And I couldn't help but ask the question to myself.

Would I, ever be whole?

***

**Blech. Didn't like that. Ah well, can you see that Rosalie isn't that evil now? She redeemed herself yet? Ugh. I'm sorry if this lost some of the whole urgency bit, this was going to be more drama filled, but it dragged on a bit. (That wasn't the original ending, but pffttt… It would have gone on for ages…) Hopefully, next chapter, the action will present itself! Please review.. Oh. And I have a confession.**

**Okay, see, that prospect of writing a Bella POV is just downright **_**scary**_**, sooo.. I was wondering whether she and Lucie could just have a conversation, similar to that one with Rosalie.? But **_**different**_**… (gah! I'm making no sense!) Anyway, what I mean is, do you mind if it's from Lucie's POV, or want a Bella's perspective for once? Please tell me! I'll try if it makes you reviewers happy! **

**AND… The French? Don't worry, I know it hasn't been in these last few, but it will appear… If any of you didn't receive the sneak peaks I was giving out last chapter, I'm sorry! My laptop hates me. Truly, it does. But just say in the review, and I'll send you one, okays? Oh, and I have a poll on my profile regarding the issue with Lucie staying human or not, so far, the majority want her to change into a vampire…. **_**Eventually**_**.. But please feel free to say what you want in the review. Oh, and someone gave the usual opinion of: 'I don't know rubber ducks!' and whilst that's very nice and all.. It's not entirely helpful.. :p**

**Anway. I'll stop. MUST DO ESSAY. Please review. Else I don't think I'll ever recover from it… **

**Lily- who is staring at the stubborn blank paper, wondering if she's got the power to make the essay write itself. She sincerely doubts it. Which sucks. **


	23. The Initiation Of Turmoil

**Heyyy! (Wow, do I really say this every single time? How repetitive. :p)**

**Yes. My severe illness of Babbleritus has struck again. How did you notice?**

**Okay. Thank you so darn much for all the reviews. 412. That's a lot. Loads were really long too! SO THANKS! ( Now see: long reviews= happy me, happy me= faster updates, faster updates= happy readers, happy readers= long reviews?) I did warn about the whole babbling bit… Anyway, I LOVED them, so, so, much, and I'm _really _sorry, if I didn't reply to them. Why? Well, here's the reason:**

**My laptop, (curse it, curse it!) to find lack of a better description, decided to spontaneously combust. Well okay, no, not exactly. It hasn't been working this past week, and I couldn't log in to my email to reply. Now. Can you imagine someone shouting at the thing by saying: 'work darn you, just work! Now I say!' Well, *cough* not that was what I was like or anything *cough* so yeah, me and my laptop are officially _at war_, and that's the reason if I didn't reply to all those amazing reviews! It works now though (so it's learning, that it can never truly beat my magnificent self its _owner_… *Right. I'm starting to sound crazy, aren't I? Yeah. I'll shut up :p*), so be sure to get babbled at when you review now! PLEASE review, it makes my day, and if you review, I shall consider updating EXTRA early! Because I'm that nice… and not at all crazy… _at all_…**

**No French in this chapter. Why? I can't say. It will come back though, seeing as I've been supplied with one heck of a lot of revision over the holidays. (Which, may I say, is completely unjust! I mean. I have to go take part in that torture-thing-which-takes-form-in-school- called _work, _for 30 hours each week! And now I get revision too? *huff* Life's unfair, eh? *hehe! I sound like a petulant little child complaining, don't I? Sorry. Have to rant once in a while. School's not so bad. Just very tedious is all.* :p)**

**I was going to split this chapter into two. But I didn't. Hence it's length, do you like long chapters? Should I get more reviews, for longer chapters? Yeah okay. I'm pushing my luck again :p Anyway, Bella appears in this chapter, thanks so much for all the advice and stuff regarding doing it from her POV. I really did love the ideas, especially one saying that I could do a brief summary Bella POV, like I did for Edward in chapter 13. Brilliant idea and advice. Sorry I didn't do it as requested L Why you ask? Well, why I finally decided to not do her POV was for several reasons:**

**1). The Twilight Saga is mainly composed of her POV anyway, so you can read that again if you want more.**

**2). If I did her POV, I'm afraid she knows things Lucie doesn't, and it would give far too much away.**

**3). This chapter is already massive. If I did her POV, it would be even longer… and I wouldn't have updated so fast (if you can call that fast :p)**

**4). Amazingly, some people actually like my writing s*shock horror!* and they like Lucie's POV. Something different perhaps? Anywho, I'm glad, because hers is the easiest to write!**

**This chapter shall be dedicated to everyone. I couldn't pick individuals. I love each and every review. (Though long reviews are my favourite, *hint, hint*) And I have to say, that if you review. You rock. So yeah. Want to rock? Simple. Review this.**

**Now. I could babble on for ages. But I won't (I've already done that for quite some time) . If you actually read these A/Ns I keep doing then I apologise again. You're probably sick of them by now! So yeah. I'll shut up _properly _this time, and let you read the chapter!**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

"I'm sorry you had to hear it, I just needed to let you know, I'm not really that evil. Not to the core."

"I know Rosalie, and thanks."

"No problem. Now…" She looked at the pile of clothing Alice had procured earlier. "But this on," She threw a pale green, long sleeved, top to me, it felt expensive. Silk maybe. Rosalie grinned as I grabbed it.

"I just don't think red is your colour."

I smiled, but couldn't forget her words.

_When you're hurt like that. Have something that constantly eats away in your subconscious, you can never be truly whole._

And I couldn't help but ask the question to myself.

Would I, ever be whole?

***

**The Initiation Of Turmoil**

After I had changed I stared at my self in front of the mirror. Alice's mirror was so expensive looking, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if someone broke it. Yet it looked very strong, what could break it? A reflection maybe? I grinned despite myself, remembering the bad jokes that used to circulate about how people's faces broke mirrors. But the smile slipped from my face as I grimaced.

Okay. So I wasn't exactly ugly. My face wouldn't break this mirror of Alice's.

Though my expression probably could.

My hazel eyes- such an oddity against my golden hair- looked troubled as I gazed into them. Whenever I looked in to the mirror (which was by the way, not very often) I would frown. Scrutinise. The top Rosalie had given me was surprisingly fitting; a low renaissance style cut was tight fitting enough to show off my slender figure. I scowled. Feeling the urge to grab a jumper_. I want a jumper_. I looked round the bathroom and to my surprise, found one. Smiling slightly, I took the blue hoodie, and just had it halfway over my head when-

"Lucie! You can't wear _that_!" Alice's voice was shrill, by the sound of it; it was as if I had committed murder.

"What…" I mumbled, my face pressed against the jumper that was currently cutting off my air supply. I huffed crossly.

_This_ was what happened, (in this case getting half suffocated by a jumper) when ever I tried on new clothes. In my opinion, definitely not worth the hassle.

"You can't wear that; it's Jasper's." Alice's matter-of-fact voice became clearer as she whipped the jumper free from my head in one swift movement, allowing me to breathe. "And, speaking of Jasper… guess what? He wasn't depressed _at all_, I think Esme, was lying though I don't know why…" Her neat black eyebrows formed into a frown for a split instinct, but almost as abruptly, she smiled in approval as she looked at my new attire, I didn't. I wasn't cold. But still…_Jasper's _jumper or not. I wanted it back. This top was: too expensive; too low cut, and by the look on Alice's face. She approved of it. That was not good. Anything Alice approved of, I didn't want to wear. Fashion sense, or no fashion sense. Trust Alice? That's a lot to put at risk.

"Good pick Rosalie." Alice praised her, she smiled but left the room quickly, leaving only me and Alice, the hyper pixie faced me again, speaking like a fashion stylist, "You need to wear clothes like this more often Lucie. Far better fitting." In answer, I scowled, causing yet another grin to light up her pixie face. See? I swear she's sadistic sometimes. "Now," Alice continued, gripping my arm and steering back towards, what I shall name: 'the-seat-of-doom' and thrusting me into it. "We do the hair." My scowl had gone. Now, it was replaced with a grimace.

I zoned out then, when Alice was talking animatedly, something about school, something about Jasper, something about shopping. Yeah. The second she mentioned shopping, _that _was when I zoned out. I didn't register the brush that she was pulling through my hair, I couldn't feel it, with her gentle strokes, I just sat there. Bored. Still, chanting in my head, _anything to make Alice happy…_

Well not anything. Not shopping. I couldn't endure that. Not again.

"You know Lucie, we're fine for two weeks, Edward will over worry as usual and stuff, but we do have _two weeks_, and that's an awfully long time in which we can go shop-"

"No." I said calmly. Surprised by the calm, Alice sounded so sure about it all. The Volturi. That we would be safe from them. The issue didn't seem to bother her anymore, since she'd had a vision of them, either that, or she was an incredibly good actress. And it was in fact worrying her; she just didn't want to show it. I sincerely hoped it wasn't the latter. And for now, drank in her cool tone.

She pouted at me, I knew she was going to coerce me more, the prospect was frightening. I mean, how much more of Alice's use of rhetoric could I stand? Sooner or later I would succumb to one of her shopping trips, or worse; _makeovers_. I was just starting to panic slightly when Alice opened her mouth to speak, wondering how long I'd last with her alone. But, to my relief, she was stopped from any other comebacks when the door swung open, Esme outside it, a warm smile on her face, a caring gentle one, the look of a mother. She'd arrived at exactly the right time.

_Again. Thank you Esme. _I wondered briefly if I was emitting distress signals, Esme always seemed to be my savoir when it came to tolerating Alice.

***

I walked into the kitchen, marvelling slightly at its size; odd that they had such a beautiful kitchen, complete with every sort of utensil and yet _they didn't eat. _Or rather, didn't eat human food. Sure they fed; still, I don't think that could be passed as _eating_. More like drinking. Or sucking.

Okay. Stop there. I was looking (or to be more apt: _thinking_) far too much into this. I sighed in frustration, and then smiled wryly. Because I knew, that despite all that; the things that should have people screaming, running, _rational _reactions. That I, didn't care. In fact, I was intrigued so to say, how did they exactly hunt? Weapons were obviously not used, but how did they stop their… prey, with only their hands? How did _Alice _do that? Emmett, with some effort, I might be able to imagine, but _Alice_? She was shorter than I was, her petite frame didn't exactly look deadly when compared to a grizzly…

Unless of course, she took the poor thing shopping. That, would be fatal.

I started to walk round the kitchen then. Frowning. This was what happened when I was by myself; my mind would wander to the most random things possible. I mean, how an earth did I get to the image of a bear laded with shopping bags in my head? See what I mean? I was actually loosing it…

With a jolt though, I knew exactly what Alice looked like hunting.

_Feral, on all fours, stalking her prey gracefully, dancing towards the elk, circling it, her movements both graceful and unmistakably deadly. Like a snake before it struck Baring her shining teeth as she drew closer, sinking them into its throat, slicing through the tissue and sinew as easily as melted butter. _

It didn't take long to remember how I knew that. Jasper. I shook off the thought, knowing how kind, sincere and loving Jasper was. His power enabled him to feel everyone's confused, happy, and depressed emotions. Emmet would be a nice person to live with, he and Alice set off equally happy vibes. Rosalie and Edward however, well their minds were darker. Not in a bad way, but still, Jasper managed to maintain the atmosphere, to keep it under control. He'd managed to calm me, reassure, on several occasions, and I was grateful.

Rosalie and Emmett had gone hunting. Carlisle and Jasper were working on some research to deal with the Volturi issue, where Alice and Esme would soon join them. All of that; inevitably led up to me being on my own. Not good. Despite my previous erratic thoughts, I suddenly wished they'd return. Trivial, nonsense. I wanted that. Not the horribly familiar sensation I was experiencing now. The sensation that made the hairs along the nape of my neck rise

The sensation of being _watched_.

"The Volturi." I whispered the word; only silence answered me as I slowly sank to the floor, forgetting all Esme's attempts to make me eat, her words that had been filled with concern, faded instantly. I felt sick to the stomach, if I ate anything now, I'd only throw it up. Shakily, I drew to my feet. What time was it anyway? Looking at the clock, I gasped. _6:30 _I'd practically ditched the whole afternoon of school. I didn't care about that though, I had fainted after all, that was an excuse. With a stab to the stomach, I remembered.

My father.

He was probably worried, should I get Esme? Ask her to take me back? Come to think of it, where was my car? Left at school? Did I even know- but my feverish questions stopped instantly, melted, as I heard it. A sound, a beautiful one; terrible in it's power. Instantly entrancing me, _luring _me, the symphony of notes had me captivated, flowing so subtly, it could barely be described as music, too _breathtaking_, to be considered just as music. I couldn't help it. My feet moved, as I felt myself follow the sound. I wasn't really walking towards the music, more drifting than walking, not consciously making an effort to do so, compelled by the sound, the notes. Eerily perfect.

Though not as perfect as the sight that went with them.

I'd reached the door to a room, it was ajar, and with a shock, I saw him, truly a better version of Adonis. His hands caressing the piano keys with desultory but undeniable skill, his head bowed, as if in prayer, pouring out his soul into the music. I recognised the tune, having heard it through someone else's mind. _Bella's lullaby. _Though even though I knew this, I would have guessed it anyway. It _suited _her; it was almost scary to hear how much emotion was portrayed though the notes, each it seemed, were barely touched on the piano. His musician's hands pausing ever so slightly over each one, playing so lightly, the effect made it sound like flowing water.

I slipped through the gap, small enough for me not to make a sound, and into the room. Gaping at him, playing the grand piano, his ethereal movement in the way his hands caressed rather than just touched the ivory keys. But then, he stopped, the tune changed; no longer Bella's lullaby. Edward's hands tripped over the keys, from where I stood, I couldn't see his face, though I knew he was frowning, as he tried again to play the tune. So different from Bella's yet in many ways, it was more captivating. Darker, it seemed, I drew closer, holding my breath, my footsteps were silent, and though I knew he would normally be able to hear the slightest movement, he didn't now. Too engrossed, lost, in the sound. Much like my self.

I could see over his shoulder now, he carried on playing single handily as he turned the page of the music, I saw the sheet; the plethora of notes written down in a hurry, in the same way one would frantically write down the remnants of a dream… so unorganised yet beautiful, each written in his elegant calligraphy. He sighed then, a sigh of aggravation, as his hands stumbled once more, though to me, the music did not falter. Even with the evident mistakes he was making, it still sounded beautiful. The music picked up, increased impossibly somehow in beauty. I couldn't help the sound that gushed through my lips, a stunned gasp, how an earth had it _increased _in beauty?

His hands faltered then, though not like before, not in mistake. They'd stopped because he'd heard me. I wanted to kick myself for disturbing him. For breaking the sound. Slowly, excruciatingly slowly in fact, he turned.

I couldn't help it, I stared at him, the awe still etched onto my face; Edward looked almost as shocked as I felt. My heart thumped erratically, how did he _do _that? Make my heart rate rise within a second of his presence? I opened my mouth, but closed it again. Edward was staring at me, a strange look in his now brilliant golden eyes.

"I thought _you _would have gone by now." He said, an unmistakable hard tone to his voice, crisp and formal. I recoiled inside, cursing at my emotions. So unrequited. I didn't know what to do in response to his words; I _wanted _to turn, run childishly from the room. Surprisingly, I didn't. I felt the urge to reply to him, cold and callous like he'd just done: _I thought _you'd _gone hunting. _Instead though my thoughts tumbled from my lips.

"That last tune," I whispered, looking away from his gaze. Horribly cold. Indifferent. "It was beautiful." I turned then, walked away to the kitchen, his words still stung, but I could see something in his expression. A smile formed on his lips, though I didn't look into his eyes, not wanting to see the same hatred they'd just portrayed.

I couldn't hear his footsteps behind me as I drew into kitchen, so I didn't turn round. I was grateful for him to leave. I needed to think. Something that was hard to do in his presence, when he stared at me. My mind went blank. It was, to say the least, increasingly annoying. I needed to think now. But I couldn't help the fear that gripped me. The fear that had fallen away at the music, which was now replaced by an ominous silence.

I picked up an apple, a green one, and inspected it rather than actually considered eating it. Esme's words rang clear in my head again: '_Lucie, I've made some more muffins' _I sighed then, drawing my legs up neatly and sitting cross legged on their immaculately clean table top. Wrapping my arms round myself.

I knew what she'd been implying, wanting me to eat more. Still, I wasn't hungry, not with the fear gripping me again, churning my stomach. I would eat later. When I was less stressed, I told myself. Hoping that my stress would vanish soon. Besides. She hadn't told me _where_ the muffins even were. Another good excuse.

"You know, that's terribly unhygienic." _His _voice floated to me. I snapped my head up, to find Edward standing casually in the door frame, his coppery flecked bronze hair was mussed from the wind, making it look even more in disarray than usual. Water droplets encrusted in it. His eyes were a brilliant gold. I felt my stomach clench tighter. I hated seeing him like this. It was harder to ignore now, that horrible, deadly feeling that was bubbling inside me.

"I'm pretty clean actually; don't worry about the precious table tops."

I spoke in a low sarcastic voice; it carefully concealed any other emotion, however much I hated to take the tone. Indifferent. Callous. But still, it was a mask I was willing to wear to suppress what ever else I might say. I didn't make eye contact whilst I spoke, looking at his shirt rather than his face. Seeing how the beige fabric clung to his physique, wet from the rain, showing his prominent abs. I averted my gaze again. That wasn't going to help anything.

There was a long silence then, but I could still feel his presence. I was staring at the floor now, but in irritation I looked up. Only to find him doing the same thing. Except- he wasn't looking at me, he was _staring _at me. His eyes widening slightly at my new attire. The question blurted though my lips before I could stop it, annoyed slightly.

"What?"

"You're wearing a new top." _He'd noticed that? _I cursed the blush that formed on my cheeks. _Stupid emotions. Stupid pointless blush. _Scowling, I looked back down, my hair falling in front of my face, I had to retort soon, else I knew another smirk would form on his perfect lips.

"Had a good look did you?" It didn't come out right, not how I was meant to say it anyway. Like people did when they were cross, making the other look embarrassed. When I said it though, I knew Edward would not look embarrassed; I made up for that particular part. Coming out of my mouth, the sentence just sounded silly.

"Are you going to eat that?"

I looked at the apple in my hands. Cautiously, I bit it.

"Happy now?" I muttered indignantly, still staring stubbornly at the apple. Even though I'd just bitten into it, the soft fruit concealed was oxidising with the air, once a very pale green, steadily turning browner. Well. How appetising.

"No, you need to eat more Lucie, one bite won't help-"

"We've already had this conversation." I pointed out, cutting across him, knowing how my expression was becoming petulant. It sounded silly, him making me eat. I knew why, I was getting underweight. And it wasn't because of some stupid quest to look good. I would eat though, when I got home. I just couldn't eat _now_, not with him there. Watching me. And besides. I've never really liked green apples.

"You're getting angry." Edward noted. His voice was nearer. I snapped my head up once more, surprised when he wasn't smirking.

"Am not."

"You are, your eyes are turning emerald." He said, his voice sounded smug. _Stupid eyes!_ I suddenly felt the very strong and childish urge to chuck the apple at him. I didn't overcome it, naturally, the child inside me just took control, I couldn't really be blamed. In one, quick, lithe movement I threw it.

And he, being himself, caught it with ease.

"You know, temper is a very unattractive trait," He commented, tossing the apple I'd just thrown at him, into the air and back again with impeccable skill, idly, as if without realising he was doing it.

"Well then," I mused quietly, still concentrating on the apple rather than him, "I must be practically hideous." he didn't smile at my attempt at humour, instead handed the apple back to me, a frown on his marble features. I didn't toss it like he did. If I did, I would almost certainly drop it.

"You're not hideous Lucie." He said quietly.

I snorted. Quite the lady. "Glad to hear it."

"No, you're really not," His said firmly, "you're-"

"Don't." I said sharply. "I can tell when I'm being lied to Edward." I said the last part coldly, once again, not meeting his wounded gaze.

"And what if I didn't lie?" He murmured quietly.

"Then I'd just assume you did." He sighed impatiently at this. I suppressed a laugh, "Honestly, I thought vampires were meant to be in a good mood after they hunted."

"Yes, well, it's hard to remain in a good mood-"

"Are you implying that _I_, put you in a bad mood?!" I gasped in mock horror.

"Who said I was in a bad mood?" Edward raised an eyebrow. I resisted the urge to throw the apple at it. Again.

"You did."

"And when was that?" Seriously. It wasn't wise for Edward to have that single eyebrow of his _still _raised. My impatience was waning. And this time, I'd throw the apple unpredictably, hit him properly. I stalled answering the question, suddenly aware that he'd moved closer to the counter where I was sitting on. And, still very aware of the apple in my hand. The hand which was itching to throw it-

"What are you thinking? Or can you simply not provide evidence to your previous statement?" What was I thinking?

_Oh nothing, just deciding the exact time in which to hurl this apple at your impossibly beautiful face, and stupid eyebrow, which just_ happens _to be raised on its own despite the fact that you know how much it annoys me._

See what I mean about going crazy?

"Nothing." I muttered.

"No need to look so crest fallen," He said casually, "Yes, generally, vampires are meant to be in a _good mood _as you put it, after they've fed," He was speaking curtly now, not looking at me. "But, it's hard Lucie. There is a bit of a situation at hand at the moment. Making it impossible for me to even relax, let alone stay cheerful, if you haven't already noticed."

Yes. Nice way to phrase it. A group of possibly sadistic vampires were planning on killing Bella. Vampires, that just _happened _to pop up in my dreams every night.

"Right," I said, my mouth turned up into a dry smile. "A situation indeed."

He smiled fleetingly, and then frowned once more. See, he was in a bad mood, I was just about to point out this factor, but when I looked up at him and found him looking at me, his golden eyes were not pained now, devoid somewhat (though I knew not completely) of the terrible thirst. Now they looked subdued, framed by impossibly long lashes. They're golden depth showed an emotion that wasn't anger. It was guilt, guilt and fear. Instantly, I knew what was on his mind. When he spoke, his voice was barely audible above a whisper.

"Lucie, will you promise me something?"

My sentence burst through my lips too quickly, too eagerly. It did not make sense compared to my supposed anger towards him.

"Of course."

"Don't tell Bella. Don't tell her about the Volturi."

"Why?" I couldn't help but ask, he looked odd, painstakingly beautiful, yet broken. I couldn't work out the expression as his eyes flickered to mine. It didn't make sense.

"Just. Don't. Promise me." He was strained now, only just managing to keep his voice calm.

"I promise." I whispered, but I stopped looking at him. Unwilling for him to see my expression, I couldn't compose it quickly enough.

He sighed, almost in exasperation at my response; I turned to glare back at him.

"Lucie," His voice was strained again, tittering on the borderline of calm now. "Why do you hate me?"

"Why did you assume I did?" I retorted, my anger flaring. Why? Why did he always have to assume things like that? Hated him. If only. He didn't respond, and for some reason, this only angered me further, my voice was brittle when I spoke, meaning to sound cold. But instead, I could hear the way my voice wavered, only hoping that he couldn't. "I told you, it's easier to hate you."

"Sometimes you can't just do things because they're easy." He said under his breath, I didn't retort though, despite the fact that I could have pointed out he was quoting someone _again_. I didn't know who. But still, I'm sure I've heard that saying before.

Cliché. Or what?

Neither of us made to speak again. He moved casually, yet with ethereal - and impossible grace, so fluid like a dance, I couldn't keep my eyes off him, in spite of my annoyance, I couldn't deny that I was entranced by his movements. - To the other side of the vast kitchen. Where he placed himself on a stool, though I knew all to well, he didn't get tired standing.

The silence now, wasn't like before. I felt like I could spend eternity sitting there, quietly, my thoughts now, less stupid, mainly because they all orbited at one thing in particular. Hard to guess? I worried though. My father would be worrying about me, another glance at the clock confirmed my fears _7:00pm _he'd be very worried, but I didn't want to speak, scared of breaking the silence, it was stupid, but true. Edward wasn't looking at me, he it seemed, was as distant as I was in thoughts. Though his were probably less trivial than simple fears of worrying a father. Though I didn't care. To me, my father meant a lot, the opposite of trivial in my book. Without him, I couldn't have coped these last few years. I owed him massively.

I was about to stand up, find Esme, ask her to take me home, when it happened. Rendering me frozen to the spot.

The massive windows that stretched nearly the entire reign of wall portrayed the forest beyond it. But it was the sky, which had my attention, as the clouds withholding the rain previously, dispersed, revealing the bright sun behind it.

And then, the rays hit him. I couldn't help seeing him. My previous annoyance and anger that had flared was gone, vanished in a heartbeat. Now, he was truly an angel, just devoid of wings, seemingly unaware of the light he was radiating off his skin, like a thousand diamond facets shattering, his face was lost in thought though. Completely oblivious. To all else.

I was wrong before. Edward was no Greek god; not Adonis anymore; not a sculpture brought to life; or any form of angel. No, Edward was _better_. He beat them all.

"Wow." I breathed, the word tumbled through my lips, and to my horror I knew I'd spoken my thoughts aloud. I snapped my mouth shut audibly, blushing furiously and staring sternly at the pale green apple (which had indeed turned a shade of brown where two bite marks showed were my teeth had bit into it) clasped firmly in my hands. But still, I could see him, out the corner of my eye, even that was enough to make me feel off balance. Very aware of how easily I could fall off the counter.

He turned then, excruciatingly slowly, facing me, and crooked one perfectly arched eyebrow, diamonds still showering off his skin, I forgot my annoyance towards the trait; I forgot the room; the apple. Hell, I forgot _everything _when I stared at him, no longer out the corner of my eye.

He walked towards me then, and I mentally slapped myself, I'd been staring at him. My focus on the apple wasn't working; I tried to concentrate of something unpleasant instead. Mike Newton. No. Oh crud, now I feel _ill _and dizzy, not a good combination - someone else then. Mr Banner, yes, I would concentrate on Mr Banner and one of his Physics-

"Wow, huh?"

Yes. I'll admit, now all thought of Mr Banner (sad to say) had evaporated, with two simple words. His velvet voice was the same silk caress. Though I noticed the other edge to it, his breathing was uneven, making the words come out low and husky. He was a foot away now, towering over me, though I was perched on the side. I could see every inch of his chest now, the fabric clinging to it- still damp from the rain outside, clinging to his clothes, encrusted in his hair- moulding the planes of his chest. At the thought of this, the apple slipped from my fingers; I expected Edward to catch it.

He didn't.

It hit the floor with a thud, rolling slightly before stopping. I was suddenly hyper aware of my heartbeat, the loudest thing in the room. I succumbed, looking up, finally staring into his eyes again, a brilliant and terrible shade of gold. My resolve faltered for a second. He looked at me questionably.

"I-I was just commenting on…" Desperately, I looked round the room, and caught sight of the first thing that came into view. "Your lovely… oven." And yes. Straight after that sentence, I considered killing myself.

_Oven_?

What, _on earth_, had made me say that?

Edward's eyebrows rose higher into his alabaster forehead.

"Were you now?" I couldn't possibly speak, succumbing once more when I met his gaze, and nearly tipping off the counter in doing so. The sun had retreated behind the clouds once more his skin was no longer sparkling, but still, this didn't seem to have helped my pulse.

My heart itself, was acting ridiculously, jumping so fast, it was probably what Alice would be like after having coffee. Did vampires even drink coffee? Red Bull maybe? Alice on Red Bull? No. That wasn't a pretty picture; I could already imagine her zooming into the room and demanding shopping trips. Definitely a bad idea, Alice was hyper _normally_, if she had extra-

"What are you thinking?" I was bought back to reality with a start, he'd moved closer again, placed an ice cold hand again my cheek, as if in the touch, he'd be able to access my thoughts. The shock startled me, his cold hand against my burning cheek, blushing ever more prominent. Ice against fire.

I could hear the longing in his tone. A longing to see my thoughts.

I grimaced at that; my words though, gave me away. Coming out rough and out of breath.

"You don't want to know."

"Trust me: I do." His voice was so sincere - it took me aback - mirroring his expression. No humour was apparent now; he was just staring, waiting for an answer.

"I was…" Oh dear. This wasn't going to sound good. "Thinking about Alice and… coffee." Right. Way to lose my sanity.

"Lucie," Edward's expression stiffened, though did not waver, nor did he move, inches from me, I could almost taste the scent on the air, that irresistible smell… I concentrated on his voice, surprisingly stern. "Enough lies."

"I wasn't-" I started to protest. What? I wasn't as well, I _had _just been thinking about Alice and coffee, despite how obscure it seemed.

"You weren't lying?" Edward said, his voice laced with scepticism. I frowned, and shook my head, too out of breath to speak. "No? So do you often admire ovens too?"

I was cut short by that. Crud, I thought I'd managed to avoid that question.

My violent blush was enough for an answer.

"So," I said, defending myself, stopping his smug expression before it started but my voice was quiet, ruining the effect slightly. "You were _sparkling _Edward," Ugh. I sounded crazy again; I tried to rephrase the sentence. "Light emanating off your skin, yes, I said 'wow'. And? What other reaction would people give?" I meant that as a rhetorical question.

"Normal people would be screaming at this point." His tone was bitter, resentful.

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint then." I muttered crossly, very aware of how close we were. And getting increasingly embarrassed by the tempo of my pulse.

He drew back then.

And I fell into him.

"Excuse me?" He murmured, amused. I started backwards, a reflex reaction to this, just managing not to stumble again. Chagrin flushed my face. I can officially say, that this was probably the most embarrassing day. Ever.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

He didn't respond, but looked at the clock. Frowning in doing so, I followed his gaze. The clock read_ 7:57 how the hell did time pass so fast? _I didn't really need to look too deeply into the question. But seriously, how long had we been talking? Maybe the clock was wrong. "Oh crud." I whispered to myself. Edward looked back, questioning. I turned to him, ready to regret what I was about to do.

"I need to get home, and _fast_."

He grinned.

"No problem."

***

I cringed as I opened the front door. Preparing my self for my father, who was sure to be cross. Yes. Cross, would probably be an understatement

Edward had driven me home, talking to me quietly, though I hadn't listened much. We'd sat in silence for the rest of the journey, but it was comfortable. Edward, like myself, seemed to like the quiet, tranquillity. Though, this wasn't actually the reason for my lack of speech. I had other things on my mind.

Oh, and did I mention? Edward drove like a _maniac_. Literally, maniac. I mean. Yeah, he's a vampire (I noticed. Surprise, surprise.) He likes speed. But does he _want _to give me a heart attack? Hence the reason, why I was now at my front door, anxious and worried for my father. I could just tell this wasn't going to be good.

"Lucie? You're back honey!" I couldn't say anything to his greeting, wrapped up in his arms, smelling the familiar smell of new paint. "That's good; I thought our guests might arrive before you did, for a second there."

"I'm so sorry dad." I managed to gasp in between breaths, but he didn't explode like I thought he would, instead, he turned to face me, a glint in his deep eyes. In fact, he looked slightly excited. That was odd. Why wasn't he angry? Why wasn't he telling me off? My father, the one person constant in my life, forever trying to protect me, always insisting I came home straight after school, was now looking at me as if I'd not just skived off half of the day. Who'd replaced my father?

And wait just one second. Guests?

What?

"It's okay sweetie, oh, and who's Alice?" What? Alice?

"Err…" I mumbled struggling for words, how did he know about Alice? Hang on. _Guests_? _Alice_? Ugh. Okay, I was officially _very _confused.

"Yeah, she said she was your friend? From school? She called me about 3 hours ago, when you didn't come home. You did go to her house right…" My father's voice became steadily more stern. His eyebrows mashed together. Now, _that_, was my father. I grinned at the news, and he frowned even larger. Okay, so that explained the Alice bit…

"Yeah, we have this project thing, for History and the civil war." I said, he nodded approvingly in response to my sensible homework arrangement. I would, at any other time, have felt guilty for lying to him, but I didn't. What can I say? I was proud my lie was so effective. And besides, who were these guests? "And dad. Stop. What's all this about guests?" He smiled then. A genuine warm smile.

"Who'd of thought your old man had so many friends up here, eh?" He started to walk through the room, which was, strangely clean.

"Hang on…" I murmured, instantly suspicious. "Dad, why is this room so… clean."

"Dare I detect a tone of surprise?" He said, in mock annoyance "It's for the guests silly," then he added, looking back towards me, trying to put on a menacing look (which just made him look comical) "your room _better _be tidy."

"Sure dad." But my tone lost any previous enthusiasm at the prospect of people, I remembered the last time I'd had a 'guest' in my room and felt my stomach twist painfully. I had a horrible sensation of who could be coming round. He started to boil some tea and handed me a cookie from the counter. I inspected it; it looked far too edible to be something he'd baked.

"You bought this, right?" I asked, he scowled indignantly as an answer, and I grinned, biting into it hungrily now that I knew it wasn't fatal. Which it could well have been if my father had cooked it. After he'd made the tea, we sat at the table; I'd just started to sip the steaming liquid when he next spoke.

"Do you know Isabella?"

At this point, my I spluttered into my tea, and only just prevented dropping it. I knew who he meant. I'd suspected it. Still, t didn't lessen the shock.

"Bella Swan?" I asked quietly, he smiled back at me when I recognised the name, oblivious to my initial reaction, evidently having been lost in thought.

"Yeah, you two friends?"

_You could say that__…_

I just half nodded in response, and began to gulp my tea, preventing him from asking further questions. The drink was boiling, and scalded my throat as I drank it, several times I resisted the urge to cough and spray it all over him. I excused my self to change clothes and sprinted up the stairs to my room.

I sank onto my bed when I arrived, considering jumping out the window as a method of escape. Bella was coming. Now why did that scare me? I spent a few minutes like this, unsure of why I was now afraid of her. Bella had proved how vulnerable she was. Stuck in a horribly twisted love triangle and unable to decide.

But Bella was in _danger_. Alice had said it would be two weeks for _them _to arrive, (I didn't think of their name, my head hurt too much already) it was as if the time got significantly smaller with each passing second. Like the walls were steadily closing in, abolishing any hiding places it their path, slowly concealing. Crushing. The worst part of that feeling was, I felt like I was missing something, one vital clue that had slipped unnoticed. I shook off the thought, it wasn't going to help anything. _Two weeks? _It seemed far too soon.

I remembered Edward pouring his soul out when playing the piano, and I felt an overwhelming sense of duty for him. I stood up shakily from my bed, and tried to asses the situation, rationally. So yes, Bella was coming. Last time I'd seen her, (had it really only been only hours previously?) well, soon after I'd fainted. Which was never a good sign. I wasn't entirely sure what to do. Surely Edward would have gone straight to her after dropping me here? In fact, she might not even come, Edward would want to protect her, I knew that for certain. Would he take her into hiding against the Cullens' requests? Would he leave?

The thought of Edward made my stomach twist again. Partially, in resentment towards Bella. She was in love with Jacob and Edward, and yet, wouldn't confirm this shared relationship to them. In fear of loosing them both. Edward had no clue about Jacob. But Jacob knew about him. Bella actually hadn't told him, but he'd worked it out, and still loved her. This, unnerved me the most, the fact that Jacob had worked it out.

Edward wasn't exactly thick, was he?

How much longer would it be for him to work it out too?

How much longer would the world remain intact?

***

They'd arrived, I could hear them from downstairs, my father making the usual greetings, saying hello to Charlie and Bella. I stalled going down to greet them. Instead pacing slightly up and down my room, waiting for an epiphany of some sort to help me with the situation. The truth was, I was afraid my face would give away too much. Afraid I was going to let slip something.

I had to tell Bella.

Eventually, I knew I could hold it off no longer; I sighed unsteadily and walked to the door of my room. Maybe if I dealt with this quickly it wouldn't be so bad. It was meant to be less painful. Like a plaster ripped from the skin.

Okay. Not a nice image.

My handle was on the cool door handle.

I opened it, only to stop by what I saw. Bella was on the other side; she looked straight at me, evidently having come to see me personally just as I had started to make my way down.

Only then did I look at her features more closely. Instead of looking remorseful, she was looking at me in unmistakable fury. Rage burning in her brown eyes. I resisted the urge to take a step back. But for some reason, this very sight of her angry. Mad me jealous.

She had no right to be angry, Edward should be, Jacob should be, _I _should be!

"What is it Bella?" I asked coldly, she stepped briskly into the room. Not making eye contact anymore. I felt my anger rise. I followed suit, she had her arms firmly crossed across her chest.

"I need to talk to you." Her voice did not portray much. Anger wasn't evident, though her facial expression before didn't make sense to why she sounded so calm. Maybe it was all an act? I knew she was having a better time controlling her anger than I was, though despite this, I felt it fade again at her passive mood. I hated it when this happened. Anger was a rare luxury compared to the other emotions I dealt with. I'd trade it any day over guilt and numbness.

Anger made you feel like you had a purpose. It made you feel invincible.

But Bella didn't look invincible; she still wouldn't look at me. Which meant she wasn't angry. Her shoulders were hunched slightly and I didn't know what to do, with courage, I spoke, my voice sounding stronger than I'd anticipated. And far stronger than I felt.

"Tell him Bella, tell him, or I will."

"Lucie," Bella whispered, her voice thick with emotion, trembling slightly, and for the first time she looked straight into my eyes, her chocolate ones burning me, brimful with tears. "Lucie you can't do this." her voice cracked slightly and I stared at her, shocked and appalled at her sudden mood change.

"Why?" I whispered back, unsure of what she even meant and Bella looked at me again, remorse showing through her rueful eyes. She spoke so quietly and yet the sound was louder to me than anything she'd said previously.

"Because he'll break your heart."

And I knew, she wasn't lying.

I didn't need to ask who she was talking about.

"I don't- I don't like him - _think _of him - in that way Bella." My voice was shaking. _I'm not lying though… am I? _The question in my thoughts was not a good sign. I remembered how I'd reacted to him in the sunlight, guilt plagued me again.

"Look, you have to help me. Please. I-I can't do this alone. And only you can help me, only you Lucie."

I could barely respond at all, numbly I nodded.

"Lucie, the Volturi, they're coming for me, I know it, Edward's trying to lie to me, to keep me safe. He doesn't want me to worry. He's too protective, but they're coming aren't they. Am I correct?"

I was about to break Edward's promise. I knew it. But Bella deserved to know.

"Yes, they're coming."

She sighed then, deflated almost. I knew she had known the answer, but still, there was no denying the fear now shining in her eyes. When she spoke though, her voice didn't falter like before; it was blunt, to the point. She stated her next words like facts.

"They're going to kill me, or if not, they'll change me into a vampire." I couldn't help my intake of breath then; I stared at her, shocked at how calm she sounded when saying this. Now, unsure of why she seemed so scared, if not for her own life. I cut across before she could say any more.

"Edward won't let them." My words were sure, and Bella grimaced, acknowledging the truth. With another sigh, she sat down on my bed, just like Jacob had done previously. But Jacob hadn't looked this lost.

"That's not the point, I don't know anymore, I used to be so _sure_..."She trailed off, her eyes cast downwards, a mixture of despair and longing in her voice, like she was trapped between two choices, each, impossible to choose from.

"About what?" I asked quietly, watching Bella carefully. It wasn't that I didn't trust her, Bella was no actress, she couldn't lie easily, not without being found out. I remembered my words to Edward earlier. _I can tell when I'm being lied to. _The irony was, that I had been lying then. I couldn't normally distinguished lies, not ones preformed by good liars. Edward said I couldn't lie, but I'd lied all my life; I was an expert on the subject. Still, despite this, my statement was true regarding Bella. I could tell when she was lying. Though admittedly, that wasn't much of an achievement.

Her words brought be back from my thoughts, she whispered them quietly.

"Being a vampire." The way she said it was almost in reverence, but also uncertainty. I could understand the first part, being a vampire would cure most of Bella's problems; she'd be less breakable; ethereally beautiful; immortal. And, she'd be able to spend eternity with _him_. My sentence gushed out of my mouth as soon as I thought this, confused, to why she _wouldn't _want to be a vampire. To me, it seemed perfect. (Devoid of the whole blood bit. Creepy? Not exactly, just well, _yuck_. )

"And you're not anymore? Why?" And as usual, as soon as I said this, I wanted to kick myself for the stupid question, knowing the answer seconds after it left my lips.

"Because of Jake." Her voice caught on his name, and I realised how tactless I was being, forgetting the other part of her life. Jacob was her sun. She couldn't do that to him. She finished off my thoughts. "It would kill him." She whispered, not looking like she was about to cry, but worse, as if she'd let everyone down. As if this was all her fault. I'd misread her horror earlier. She was not afraid of the Volturi.

She was afraid of breaking Edward and Jacob's hearts.

"Lucie, I don't know what to do…" Again, her desperation showed. I just sat there, on the bed, like an idiot, why was she asking _me _this? Why not Alice? But part of me knew the answer to that. Of course, Bella couldn't reveal this to anyone but me - immune to Edward's power - she hadn't meant for me to find out in the first place. I had just been _difficult_, my freaky gift made sure that I, like Bella, had to carry guilt.

One thing it seemed, I had a limited supply of.

I had nothing against Bella now, I knew how she was feeling, I could sympathise. No, I didn't have anyone lusting over me; not to mention _two _people in love with me like Bella. But I _could _sympathise with how she felt, caught up in the thick of mess. And still remaining vulnerable. She and I were human; in other words we were weak.

"Bella…" I said, trying to remember Alice's words before. So reassuring about the Volturi, I had felt safe then, there had been no need to press for questions. Alice had said two weeks, it had seemed like years back before. But now, well now I had the most horrible sensation crawling up my spine again, causing the uncontrollable shiver to shake me slightly. Always the same sense gripping me, always that same feeling.

As if time was running out.

I turned back to Bella, forcing my self to stay focused and trying to shut off my thoughts, working once more, in overdrive, Bella was looking at me though, her eyes still stubbornly staring at the pattern not my quilt. "Look, it'll be okay, Alice says they won't arrive for two weeks yet, that's plenty of time-" She cut me off.

"You know I don't mean that Lucie. That's hardly a problem at all." They way she said it was almost bitter; except for the look in her chocolate brown eyes, so warm, despite the guilt filling them. I sighed, and didn't break her gaze.

"You have to choose Bella."

She didn't break eye contact, but whispered her reply all the same, defeat sounding in her voice.

"And what if I can't?" My reply was blunt. Yet we both knew it was the truth.

"Then you'll break their hearts." There was a silence then, so cold it was almost tangible, the wind outside howled slightly, I hadn't noticed it before, but looking though the window I could see a storm brewing. How fitting.

"_Just like mine._"

"What?" I said, unsure whether Bella had spoken or not, or if my imagination was playing tricks on me.

"You really want to know why I was so horrible to you Lucie? So uncaring, selfish?"

No. I did not want to know.

She continued without my reply, I knew it had been a rhetorical question. As she began to speak, she drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms firmly around them; holding her self in one piece.

"Because you knew my secret. You are the only one who truly knows how I feel. I love Jacob, and I love Edward. But…" She trailed off, I didn't interrupt, knowing she was just preparing herself for whatever she was about to say next.

"Lucie, when Edward left me. I didn't heal. He left, and I was so sure that he didn't love me, so convinced by his lies. That I believed them. I believed I was nothing to him, and my heart broke. It shattered into a thousand pieces, each cutting me, so much so that, it would never really heal again." She stared into my face, her chocolate eyes tired from tears that would no longer fall, the tracks of previous ones still shining on her pale cheeks. "He left me Lucie, he broke my heart." I didn't speak. I _couldn't _speak. Not with this news, I had no idea how she had been affected. I'd judged her, before I could understand.

"Jake saved me from death in the end. It may seem melodramatic, but wasn't. I wasn't _living_ you know how I felt, though I don't think you can understand the sheer scale of it all. Your power enables you to see people's emotions and past's right? But you see it on fast forward. _Experience _it on fast forward. I didn't. Every second without him hurt, every time I heard his name I wouldn't function. And it was a long time before I began to feel again."

I was stunned into silence. Still, too shocked to speak.

"Can't you see Lucie?" Bella whispered to me, her eyes imploring, so much depth and complexity I could easily see why both Edward and Jacob were drawn to them. "It _still _hurts now. Knowing he can leave, vanish in an instant, leaving only a memory like before. I can't live with a memory, I've tried before, and it didn't end too well." I finally managed to gush out a sentence cutting her off. Was she oblivious to how Edward felt, how guilty he was?

"He wouldn't."

"He said that last time."

I couldn't think of what else to say. I knew how Edward felt. I knew how Jacob felt, I knew how Bella felt.

"Bella, we need to go honey!" Bella's dad, Charlie, called from downstairs, I hadn't even greeted him. She made a move to stand up, but stopped halfway, turning to face me. "Just… Lucie," She lifted my chin up, I hadn't realised I'd been frowning at the quilt like she had done so moments before. "Don't get attached unless you're willing to risk that. To risk your heart." She stood up to leave; I copied, trying to summon my words to her own cryptic ones.

"No, I- I don't feel-" But I choked on the sentence as it died and Bella just smiled ruefully, before closing my door softly behind her.

I fell to the bed again, a headache forming. Because the truth was, I knew how Edward felt; how Jacob felt; how Bella felt.

But how did _I _feel? I didn't know…

Was Bella right?

Would Edward, break my heart?

_Or would it stop beating before he could…_

***

**Okays. Yeah. I couldn't stand writing that… all jumbled to me :( I really need major review-style-cheering-up people. I just… Ugh! I'll need some serious motivation to write the next chapter. I was going to split this into two chapters, but, I didn't. So yeah. Be happy you got _all _that :p Like Bella now? Still hate her? I'm sorry. There wasn't much action was there? It's been delayed till next chapter. Otherwise this would have been obscenely long. And I mean, _obscenely_! Please review. I'm not motivated to write more if you don't… ;(**

**That last bit? _Or would it stop beating before he could… _DUN DUN DUN! Okay, I'm not saying much. This doesn't mean that Lucie assumes she's going to be vampified (my computer seems to want to replace that almighty word with: _amplified_. But no. _vampified _is what I mean. I shall add it to my dictionary :p) No, that sentence can be interpreted different ways. But, just don't assume: Lucie will be a vampire noooo!! Okays? I still haven't decided what will happen regarding that, I only have ideas…. Which…. I shall not talk about :p**

**Okay, Lucie's father? Next chapter you'll see him in more depth. He seems happy here? Sadly that might not be the case next chapter, he's got a lot more to him than meets the eye… I would have written more on him in here, but, as you can see, this chapter is long. Now, I'm sorry, you don't hate me for dragging it out do you? Sorry if you find it slow moving. But I did have to use the description on these chapters, else the story wouldn't make much sense when proper action _does _happen :P**

**Did you like Edward and Lucie interaction? No? Yes? I put it in as requested because it was easy to write. Much easier than the Bella bit. So yeah. Sorry if it wasn't sufficient enough ;) It was important though, and adds a lot to this. What tune do you think Edward over heard when playing the piano? I'll say no more.**

**And Happy Easter people! I should hopefully update before then, but I'll say it just in case :p On Monday, I'm going on this _Engineering course _for four days. Sad, or what? I know, seems very geeky of me whatever, to do in my free time. My dad finally thinks I'm doing appropriate things in my free time (and by that he means: _not _locking myself in my room and demanding more books :p) But you want to know the real reason? Ha! Nothing science related at all, the only reason is so I can be with my best friend for 4 days, she was the one who came up with the idea, I don't see her too often, and so this was the perfect excuse to spend time with her! I mean come on! It's _educational _… ;)**

**Anyway. That's my excuse if I don't update. But. And there's a big but. If I get lots of reviews, well, then I'll be so motivated to write, you might receive an update _earlier_! Seriously people, I get so happy with reviews! I'm really sorry I couldn't reply to them last chapter, but I will this time. As long as my laptop behaves itself! **

**PLEASE review. Please? I'll beg? The review button's feeling neglected, I swear it! Just press it, say whatever you want. 'you're story sucks!' okay, admittedly, I'd prefer _not _to have that sort of review. But criticism? Feel free! Questions? Please ask! Threats? Go ahead! (I, for one, frequently threaten people in reviews. It's fun!) **

**Yup. I'm starting to sound a bit strange, and yush. A bit, is an understatement. But I'll stop babbling, you can review now! Review=much faster update. Come on, _inspire _me! My review count seems to have diminished slightly, I'll put it down to not giving out free-cyber-vamps. How about… if you review, not only do I update faster, but you get a free… Jasper? Or Edward? Your pick. No. You cannot have both. **

**Remember: PLEASE REVIEW! (Got that by now?)**

**Lily- who apologises (she seems to do that a lot..) about another A/N that probably wasted valuable time. **


	24. Surreal Reality Falls

**HEYYYY! (Screw repetitiveness! It's an amazing greeting :p)**

**Wow. I'm flabbergasted! (Now **_**that **_**is an awesome word. I command it should be used more frequently :p) The amount of reviews?! 65! Wowzerrs! 477 reviews! YAY! Close to 500! Okay. I'll make a deal. If the review count hits 500, then I shall update extra super duper fast! (But remember, it's the content that's best. No, screw that. It's the act of reviewing that makes me so happy :p) SO THANKS, to EVERYONE who's been reviewing out there! You guys rock! (Yup. Perfectly aware that probably none of you, are in fact guys. But on the off chance?... Okay, I'll rewrite that: You READERS rock!)**

**Okay. I'm sorry. Late update huh? Well, may I say, I think I officially have THE most valid excuse/s to date, okays? Ready for it? No? Ah well, you've got me started now:**

**1). Twilight DVD came out. I figured: hmmm… this could give some inspiration! But no. Sadly, it did not. In fact, instead, it just made me laugh a lot. Sorry people, but when Carlisle plays baseball? Now THAT is pure comedy at its best!**

**2). DOCTOR WHO (cue oo oo oooo music :p) was on. Naturally, I had to devote my attention to that. (Okay. Yeah. Admittedly, it was about a flying bus… and strange fly thingies…that died. Yeah, people should mourn for the strange flies that died, and made.. Strange clicking noises…but hey, it's Doctor Who people! I couldn't miss it :p)**

**3). Easter. Means. Chocolate. Think about how many Easter eggs I could be eating? But NOOO, instead I was furiously typing away at this chapter (furiously typing away? Wow. That's a new one.) **

**4). Engineering course. *cough* Okay… lets just say, that I don't think you'll need to worry about me devoting my time to any more of **_**them **_**in the future. I had to 'socialise' as my dearest mother calls it, with one heck of a lot of people who were fascinated about building bridges out of paper. Right. :p**

**5). Revision: **_**being the amazing student I am, I spend countless hours devoting myself to work and helping lost little ducklings find their way back to the pond… **_**no. Okay. I can't lie. I did not revise a bit. Nor do I think I will have the strength to do so… still, the prospect is scaring me. And when I'm scared I can't write. (I have **_**no idea **_**where the whole 'ducklings' bit came from. Maybe it's something to do with ducklings linking to spring, and spring linking to Easter… No… let's face it… I'm going crazy.)**

**I'll blame the crazy bit on chocolate. No! (that's sacrilege!) the **_**lack of **_**chocolate ;)**

**Back to the story. *huff* Well, I'm really, really sorry… but… I'm skipping Lucie's conversation with her father. It won't come to me yet! But I **_**will **_**(I think, tell me your thoughts in the reviews) include it in a later chapter! I can't right now, because it holds lots of detail (meaning I'd have to divide this chapter into like..3..) and stuff that would be too obvious. Lucie's confuzzeled (right that does it! I am officially adding **_**confuzzeled **_**to my dictionary) with all the information she's getting, but you readers might not be.**

**So yup. It skips that *cowers away from readers who-brandish-all-things pointy.* SORRY! Anyway, if you can't guess by the italics, this chapter starts off as a dream.**

**Enjoy!**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

"No, I- I don't feel-" But I choked on the sentence as it died and Bella just smiled ruefully, before closing my door softly behind her.

I fell to the bed again, a headache forming. Because the truth was, I knew how Edward felt; how Jacob felt; how Bella felt.

But how did _I _feel? I didn't know…

Was Bella right?

Would Edward, break my heart?

_Or would it stop beating before he could__…_

***

**Surreal Reality Falls**

_I was standing in a sort of clearing, when I felt the cold breath against my neck. The smell of rotting corpses was the first thing I registered as I squirmed away in the darkness, now aware of the cool hands groping my face. _

_I didn't scream though. I couldn't. It was as if my lips had been sown shut. I could see now, the sight of a forest loomed before me, and then the realisation that came with it: that I was not alone. Figures surrounded me, in a circle, stopping any chance of escape, yet even that prospect seemed impossible, especially since I stood frozen. That and the fact that I could still feel the clammy hands binding me, unwilling for my escape. Not permitting speech, let alone movement._

_One of the dark figures stood closer, its dark cloak flowing and lifting in the non-existent breeze. It lifted its hood, the blood red eyes raked over me. He reached forward, touching my cheek in a twisted parody of a caress. It was only when I felt the hot flow of blood fall down my cheek and into his palm, that I realised he'd cut me._

"_Enough Demetri." Called a musical voice, horribly beautiful, I sought its source. _

"_Yes, master Aro." the figure - Demetri - moved back, merging once more into the shadows. Now another figure stood out from the circle, his presence seemed more significant, as he moved closer, with ethereal grace, whispering into my ear._

"_You must come to us, Luciana. Else your loved ones will not remain… intact." I felt my breath cease at his words, just as the horrible twisted laughter echoed around me. Then another figure was by me, her movements agile and cat like, not as entrancing as Aro's, whilst his had been graceful, hers were feral. Cat-like eyes confronted me; a face twisted in a sadistic grimace, framed by hair the colour of fire, bright against the darkness. She was devoid of a cloak._

"_And to think you assumed _they _wanted Bella."_

_She was gone then, vanishing in an instant, so quickly I wondered if I'd imagined it. Replacing her, Aro seemed to loom before me again, his cloak trailing behind him like smoke, and he spoke the words softly, a twisted elegy, each word seemed make my fear grip tighter, as I fought the invisible bounds holding me still._

"_Desire corrupts,_

_Temptation powers. _

_Darkness consumes, _

_Light devours…"_

_I screamed, and the cold hands gripping me vanished, as I fell to the hard earth beneath me, then the bottom dropped out of everything, and not even the ground was enough to keep me from falling._

_***_

And I woke up, gasping, my heart hammering painfully against my ribs, like it was going to split them open. The scream fading in my throat, now hoarse and dry, my mouth tasted coppery, metallic, the taste of blood.

My eyes refocused on the room before me, as I shakily sat up, my hand gingerly touching my cheek, as if expecting to find a gash there. Nothing. I stood up quickly, the time on the alarm clock read 4:12am; I closed my eyes briefly, trying to control my breathing. It didn't work. The air continued to escape rapidly out of my lungs. I walked to the door, instantly afraid for my father, half ready to run to him in desperation. The memories of my dream and the night before were merging horribly together. I could still remember his words and now Aro's too. Yet the latter was far more vivid, not to mention sinister.

His poem seemed to emanate darkness and despair within me, pulsing furiously through my veins like poison; I pushed it to the back of my mind. Brooding over that would only mask what needed to be dealt with.

"_You must come to us, Luciana. Else your loved ones will not remain… intact." _My father, that's what he'd meant. He was in danger now. Despite the fact that it was a dream, it was too coincidental that my father had been acting oddly, trying to conceal something. Just moments before I had experienced it.

I felt my legs beneath me, weak; they would not support my weight much longer. The bed was in sight, but I just clung to the doorframe, my strength previously when confronting my father last night, had vanished. Now I felt broken, empty. A shell. On the outside I was still holding together okay. I looked normal. No one could tell I was falling apart inside, at least, not for the moment.

There was a sound to my left, I turned instinctively, the only movement I was conscious of doing. There was little light emitted from the sky today, the clouds dense and dark, the storm from last night appeared to have subsided, but not, it seemed, for long.

"A-Alice?" I said, my voice shaking slightly. I hoped I wasn't shaking as well. She stood there, feet from me, her petite frame sliding easily through the slightly open window. She smiled at me, darting beside me in a second. Though her smile did not calm my fears; her own evident on her angelic face, twisted in worry.

She wrapped her thin (yet oddly comforting) marble arms around me briefly, and whispered into my ear - her voice wasn't as strained as her smile had been - sounding like wind chimes, restless in the wind.

"I could tell you needed me." She whispered into my ear softly. I nodded, not trusting my voice, and not asking whether she'd had a vision or not. She was right though, I did need her. I wouldn't have held out much longer without her presence, her cold touch was like antiseptic; soothing against my feverish skin. A voice in my mind mocked me.

_Weak._

I pushed it away, focusing again on Alice. She was staring at me; her eyes alight in both worry and fear. I had to tell her.

"Alice, I had a dream, the Volturi, they-" She cut me off, retrieving something from a bag I hadn't noticed she'd been carrying. And instead of perusing the information I desperately needed to release, I listened to the sound of Alice's voice, suddenly very unsure to what had just happened.

"Shh, it's okay, we'll talk about it Lucie, just…" She pulled out a paper bag, a small smile curving on her lips. "Eat this for me?"

"What?" I asked, dazed. Alice was brandishing cookies? My mind was slow today; it took me a while to understand. "Oh, I'm really not that hungry-"

"Please? It'll give Esme some piece of mind. And you'll feel better after eating it. Trust me." I gave into Alice's expression, her golden eyes imploring.

"Oh, sure." I mumbled, taking the bag and biting into the food, not really tasting it. My stomach must have shrunk recently, but the moment I tasted the sweet flavour of the soft biscuit, my hunger returned. I'd already finished two by now, and Alice's smile was approving. I had to admit, Esme could _cook_.

"Now," Alice said, her tone commanding, all previous fear had vanished from it. "Put these on." She shoved another bag into my hands. I grimaced. Even the _bag _was made of silk. The numb sensation from earlier was fading slightly, I was grateful. Though at the prospect of the contents of the silk bag darkened my mood considerably. It seemed a drastic change in emotions, momentarily, I felt confused, but not before another wave of amity hit me.

"I feel like screaming." I muttered under my breath, realising all too late that Alice could hear.

"Why?" She quirked an eyebrow. _That _didn't improve my mood.

_Because I have to wear the clothes _you've _chosen, and they're almost certainly not the sort I approve of. _Alice grinned widely then.

Wait. I thought only Edward could read minds?

"Honestly Lucie," Alice scolded lightly, "they're not that bad." Not that bad? Right. _Sure_. "You'll thank me later." She was pushing me into the bathroom now, surprisingly strong, despite her miniscule frame. "Besides, I had a vision about this, and you _will _like these." Her tone was proud, yet also exceedingly confident, a confidence I mistrusted. Immensely.

"Right." I mumbled, as I closed the bathroom door behind myself. I got changed in a daze, not looking at Alice's choice of clothes. Though I grudgingly noted that the top was made of silk. Like the bag. Honestly though, _silk _bags? Yeah, the Cullen's were rich, I didn't doubt that, but was there really a need for silk bags? I resisted the urge to huff crossly, knowing I was rambling again.

I was about to re-open the door again when I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror above the sink, and was momentarily startled by what I saw.

My hair was loose (still messed up from restless sleep) a dim gold, framing my face, alight in surprise. My pupils large and wide, surrounded by irises more emerald than caramel, evidently for annoyance at wearing Alice-picked clothes. My lips a cerise colour against cream and alabaster skin. But it was not my face, which had my attention. Now I was wearing a white top, so white in fact, it made my skin seem significantly more toned. It was the incandescent pale colour of the moon. It fit perfectly, not tight or uncomfortable, but light, acting more like a second skin. It was also oddly familiar. Jeans instead of a skirt were around my legs, admittedly they were far too well fitting for my liking, as apposed to what I would normally wear, but I was grateful, and knew Alice was right. I smiled slightly, Alice's vision had been right. This time I _did _approve.

But then. The familiarity I'd noticed earlier clicked.

_A silk dress hung around my slender figure, lightly gripping to me, as if tailor made. The same colour as the moon above, and the light in the distance. I shook my head, and I felt my hair cascade down my back in shower. As if it had been held upon my head with heavy pins._

_I could also see the colour of my dress._

_The once pale luminescent white was now splattered with drops of dark liquid._

_The light provided from the hooded figure, showed the colour of it._

_Dark scarlet and crimson against white dashed before my vision, the vampire before me leaned closer, drawing back his hood, revealing a pair of very brooding. Bottomless eyes, the eyes of a vampire. Though they were not golden, proving that the person fed off animals. They were something far more disturbing._

_His eyes were a deep crimson._

_The exact colour, of my blood stained dress._

The air had left my lungs; I gripped the sink earnestly as reality reformed. My flashback of the dream I'd had the other day still burning on the inside of my retinas. Refusing to go away.

"Lucie?" Alice's voice was anxious, she sounded so close and yet so far away, she was still talking, faster now.

I barely heard her.

The rising sense of fear gripped me momentarily, seemingly making my blood slow and thick. The flashback now made me remember my vision from before re-form vividly: her voice; the figures in cloaks; vampire with hair the colour of fire. I shivered, unaware that Alice had opened the bathroom door, but not surprised when I heard her pearl white fingers prising my own away from the sink. Which I'd unconsciously been gripping to stay upright.

"Lucie," Her voice was still distant, yet I could detect the fear that had been hidden previously. "come on, we have to go, your father will wake up soon." She was right, my father would awake. The thought of him had the fear inside me intensify. The Volturi. What if they found him? What if-

"Jasper!" Alice was pulling me towards the window. "Please, come out now, I think you should be closer to her. She's not responding, I need help." I felt her ice hands against my face. "Lucie," She commanded. "Breathe."

I did, sucking in the air through tight lips. Just as I felt the serenity wash through me like a hot wave undoing the cords of tension that had been holding me together for so long. I didn't need Alice for support now, my sight improved as I focussed on Jasper's figure, emerging out of Alice's Porsche. He, like Alice, almost seemed luminescent, against the twilit sky.

Hang on? Why hadn't I noticed getting outside? Had we climbed through the window? I must be more dazed then I thought. This sent another tumult of panic through me, Jasper countered it. I looked up at him, unable to smile, but trying to force some emotion into my eyes, an emotion other than fear.

"Thank you Jasper." I said finally, he just nodded, his golden eyes calmed me further, Alice took his hand in hers as she motioned for me to get into the car. I climbed warily into the back seat, and to my surprise, Alice joined me. We were already speeding away, the rate at which the trees blurred past the window made my head spin slightly; I turned to Alice, focussing on her rather than the speed at which we were moving.

Alice's golden eyes were alight in anxiety and fear. I regarded her warily, suddenly unsure whether to tell her about my dream or not. I mean, that's all it was right? A dream. It probably wouldn't make sense to her, or anyone for that matter.

"I take it," I said, the calm that Jasper had created, continued to course through me stopped my voice from trembling. "that we're not going to school?"

"Correct." Jasper answered, turning in his seat to face me, I bit down the urge to ask him to concentrate on the road. For all I knew, he probably had it memorised.

"At least I won't have to endure Mike." I muttered, Jasper smiled, amused, but Alice didn't. I was suddenly aware of how she was looking at me, uncertainty plain on her face.

"You can tell her Alice, she needs to know." Jasper said, Alice nodded quickly, speaking in a rush. I listened intently.

"Lucie, things are strange, some of Bella's clothes have gone missing, they hold her scent. It's strange though, I didn't have any visions of it, so whoever took them hadn't consciously thought about doing it, that's the only way I which I can't see the future see. We think it's the Volturi, Demetri - apparently that's who was in your vision-"

"Dream," I cut across her, "_Dream _Alice, it can't have been a vision, Edward can't see things when I watch people's pasts can he? They're visions right? So that wasn't a vision, not reliable enough. Please don't rely on that as information." My words left my mouth without conscious thought. Though I knew they were true. Edward hadn't seen Jasper's past when he'd been meters away. And yet he could watch my dreams as If he was experiencing them. But I didn't want Alice to trust that, my _dream_. An over reactive imagination was not the best source of information, however accurate it seemed.

"You doubt yourself too much Lucie." Jasper said quietly, I was glad he'd turned his gaze back to the road now, I don't think my expression agreed with his statement.

"And don't worry," Alice chimed. "we're not relying on your visi-" I gave her a glare, "okay _dream_, whatever, it's just that's the only thing that makes sense." her tone became more serious as she continued. "The thing is Lucie, now the Volturi have Bella's scent, they'll come to find her. I know they're coming to Forks at some point; I had a vision about that a few months back, but thought nothing of it. Their intentions were unclear then, but it seems they're checking up on Bella now." She continued studying me, I kept my face composed as my mind battled with the news she was giving me.

"Basically Lucie," Jasper summarised. "You're going to have to live with us for a while; it's too risky having you unprotected when they arrive. If Aro found out about your gift…" He trailed off. I didn't react at first, the thought of staying in the same house as the Cullens sent a mixed sensation of exhilaration and horror. I saw Jasper frown, evidently confused at what I was feeling. But he couldn't possibly be as confused as I felt.

"What?! No!" I shrieked, their wounded faces made me instantly regret the words. "I mean, thank you, for being so… caring, but I _can't_." _What about Edward? _I pushed the thought stubbornly to the back of my mind where it continues to burn, hoping Jasper didn't understand my hectic emotions. "What about my father? He'll be in danger. Not to mention the fact that he'll worry out of his mind!" My voice was bordering on the verge of hysteria now, the thought of _them_, near my father…

"He'll be okay, and safe, don't worry." Alice murmured.

"_Okay_? He won't Alice, you don't understand…" I mumbled, remembering his words the night before, his expression. The very one that had haunted me for so many years.

"Try us." Jasper's voice seemed far too calm. Too unperturbed when chaos that was crashing around us. The very chaos that made me want to scream. His powers didn't seem to be able to reach me now, the calm and serenity was depleting. I could feel the last of it drain from my system, my voice shook slightly when I next spoke.

"H-he… _needs _me." I whispered quietly, "I don't understand, he talked to me last night; I think he's hiding something, a façade of some sort, trying to protect me… I think something happened. Something to do with my mother, it doesn't make sense…" I trailed off, Alice's expression of disbelief made me realise how crazy I sounded. The car had stopped, but no-one made any movement to get out of it. Alice's next words took me aback.

"What? Your father? What did he say?" She said her questions rapidly, her eyes darting from me to Jasper. I frowned; Jasper's lips were set in a tight line, unwilling suddenly. What did they know?

"Just…." I trailed off, trying to read both Alice's and Jasper's expressions. "He told me, last night, that he didn't want to stay here. That he thinks it's too dangerous."

"Your father said that?" Jasper asked shock unmistakable on his face. "Tell me, has he lived in Forks before?" I stared, unsure. My father did seem to know everyone, yet we had lived in England all my childhood, he'd never even spoken about Forks before then…

"Do you think he knows something?" Alice asked Jasper.

"I'm almost certain of it." Jasper murmured grimly, it was such a quiet sound, I was unsure to whether it was for just Alice's ears, or mine. Their confusion did nothing to help my heart rate. Jasper was out the car then, faster than I could blink, reacting to the terribly tempting tempo of my pulse. I grimaced.

"Sorry." I muttered, knowing how Jasper's thirst was constantly an issue, and how I took for granted they way he acted around me. Trying his best to ignore the aching desire, the thing nearly all the Cullens coveted. Human blood.

I pushed the thought from my mind as we walked swiftly to the front of the Cullens' house. Thinking about vampire's diet was not going to help with the situation.

The sky over the horizon was an indigo darkness, flecked with dim streams of light, filtering through the dense clouds. Only when Alice was practically towing me forward, did I realise that I'd been standing still, awed by the sky; the sun was still below the horizon, not yet dawn.

"What's she doing here?" Someone exclaimed in evident exasperation, I abruptly froze. The strained voice (one that I knew all too well) snapped my mind awake from the ambient light emitting from the sky. "Alice, you can't be serious…" Edward was staring at me; his golden eyes alight in two emotions. Shock and fury. Leaning casually against the front door. A casual stance, a façade. One that I knew was fake, only about as casual as the tension in the bitter morning air. In other words, not causal at all. He was far from pleased about my entrance, that was for sure. Alice muttered something low under her breath, too low for my ears to catch, yet nevertheless, Jasper grinned, while Edward's glare became stony. I looked at my feet, unable to hide my hurt at the anger my arrival had caused. _Why did he seem so angry? _

Alice began towing me again, a fast motion that led us into the dining room in minutes. Dining room? Why on earth did they need a dining room? Once more, I averted my thoughts from that. I knew of course, that it was only a decoration. I had seen Jasper's past, I knew _why _they had a dining room, but merely perplexed at the concept.

Jasper's power was still coursing calm through me. It made it hard to think. We were in danger, Bella was in danger. My dream… The Volturi…

"Ugh!" I finally let out, everyone in the room turned to face me, each one raising a single eyebrow in unison. I resisted the urge to scream. They were lucky they had Jasper. Carlisle was standing by Esme, Alice at my side, Jasper by hers. The only people absent were Rosalie and Edward. I knew why the latter wasn't here, he it seemed, couldn't stand to be in my presence. "Jasper… please stop that. I can't _think_." Jasper continued to look bemused. Alice huffed impatiently.

"Jazz-" Alice said endearingly, but Emmett cut across her, his tone still seemed amused. Did he _ever _take things seriously?

"Jazzy, quit zapping her with your freaky calm waves!"

"Only I can call him Jazzy," Alice threatened, her golden eyes menacing. It was the look I commonly associated with shopping-related-torture.

"Oh yeah? Bring it midget!" Emmett grinned widely, flexing his muscles.

"As you wish," Alice danced behind him and in a movement so fast, she was on his back, her teeth poised, she smirked triumphantly. "Emmy."

Emmett glared at her.

"No. You're _never _going to call me that." Alice raised her eyebrows and Emmet sighed in defeat. "Fine. Jasper. Not Jazzy. And Alice, not midget."

"That's what I thought." Alice smiled, and I realised I had been too. I looked to Jasper, suddenly aware of how the incident had occurred. Still, light heartened as it might be, and far better than the fear I dreaded. This would not help, I stared into Jasper's eyes, this was _important_. No amount of ecstasy he could conjure would fix this. It needed to be dealt with.

"Oh." Jasper said, finally realising. And it stopped. The calm that had washed through me before and sweet but brief contentment, ceased. Letting all the over emotions plague me. It was lucky the sofa was near by, I sat down on it wearily, noticing that Alice joined me, despite the fact I knew she could stand for hours. The atmosphere in the room changed noticeably, Esme stiffened slightly when Carlisle left her side, unwilling to be separated.

"Lucie," Carlisle was speaking to me intently, his voice had a different type of calm when compared to Jasper's. Professional, practiced. Still, it helped with the situation at hand. If everyone was as panicked as I felt then the rising sense of chaos would be tangible. "Alice had a vision this morning, the Volturi have changed there arrival date." this news shocked me, I looked at Alice, she nodded somberly, her eyes trained on my reaction. "They're planning on checking on Bella sooner, we think in two days-"

"What?" The air had left my lungs. I had to tell them.

"Two days," Carlisle repeated. "The Volturi, they have Demetri, he's not to be underestimated. Bella's already being tracked, we'd hate it if you were too. The Volturi may be the elite, but they're not always trustworthy. We think it would be best if you stayed here, at least until they've left… " He looked at Esme then, she smiled warmly, talking to me as if soothing a frightened child.

"It'll be okay Lucie, please, just relax."

_But how on earth could one relax when inside they were screaming?_

"No," I said shakily, I could sense they were going to cut across me, I carried on, my voice was rising, but at least it remained intact, the shaking could not be helped not, at least the words were audible.. "It's not okay…"

"Luce…" Oh crud. Emmett actually sounded _worried _now. This was bad.

"I-I had a dream about them." I placed my head in my hands, willing myself to remember the details of the dream I'd just spent the last few moments trying to forget. "The Volturi… it's not them, _they _aren't trying to get Bella. Their motive is different," _They want me. _I added silently, not speaking my thought allowed. This was weird enough as it was. "I saw someone else…" I took in a shaky breath, looking up into the golden eyes of the vampires before me. Hating the fact that my information, not even that. My _theory _could change everything. And that they might rely on it as fact.

"Tell us." Alice said encouragingly.

I just breathed one word in response. It would answer their questions.

"_Victoria_."

***

I needed to escape their questions, fighting inwardly to remain conscious. Slowly focusing as surreal reality falls.

"Me and Jazz are going hunting." Alice announced, standing up. I took my chance.

"C-can I just go to the bathroom?" I asked timidly, I was replied to by several curt nods, as I quickly left the room. Letting out a shaky breath as I did so, no longer needing to hide my fear, like I had done so for the previous hour. I leaned against the wall nearest me, trying to clear my mind enough to think. I could do so properly now, devoid of Jasper's presence. Still, without him presence, the immediate fear was hard to fight off.

I'd spent the last hour or so talking with them. Listened intently, ready to sap up information as quickly as possible, trying to find a way to cure the chaos _I'd _formed. It was hard though. Yes, I'd listened, but no amount of listening, no matter how intent, could decipher what Alice said when her voice was so high. The Cullens could hear fine. 'Super-vampire-hearing' however, was not something I possessed. Half their conversations had been like this. Spoken either too quickly, or lowly (well, not in Alice's case) for my weak human ears to catch.

I knew of course, why they did this.

They didn't want me to hear some of the things they were saying.

I didn't know how to react to this news. It could have been due to lack of trust, in which case, I should be angry. But I wasn't. Part of me knew why they did this, concealed the darker information, the stuff normal people never even dreamed of. They didn't want me to be afraid, to _worry_. It was a valid reason too. I mean, there was enough fear already; I didn't need to be overloaded with more! Still, I couldn't help but feel deflated in light of my discovery. My mind continued to mock me cruelly, unwilling to let my suffering stay minimal.

_They think you're weak._

But weren't they right? I mean, it wasn't as if I was exactly the strongest person they knew, god knows how many times I'd fainted around them. That wasn't exactly a trait for the strong or brave. Fainting was the sort of thing people did in movies, girls fluttering their fans at an arrival of a prince. Feeling faint from a too tight corset.

Not me.

I fainted from overwhelming information; from experiencing a life worth of memories in a matter of minutes; from lack of sleep corrupted with nightmares. No. The Cullens were right to keep information from me; I did not want to be weak again. I couldn't afford to be weak. Not with the prospect of sadistic vampires coming.

Sadistic vampires? Wow. This was practically Christmas coming early.

"Lucie?" Her voice broke me out of sarcastic thoughts, Bella stood opposite me, her brunette hair framing her face matching her brown eyes, evidently tired, still beautiful though. I hadn't expected her to be here, though the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. Her expression was culpable when I approached.

"Yeah?" I asked, my voice lacked emotion.

"Listen, I'm sorry about Edward." She said in a rush.

Well, I hadn't expected this.

"Why?" I asked. Great. I had an emotion in my voice now: confusion. Has to be my favourite feeling yet.

"Look, it's my fault he's angry at you-" I didn't listen to the rest of her sentence.

"Hardly Bella," I muttered coldly, the ice in my tone not directed at her. "I doubt the fact he's angry is due to you. Trust me; I'm used to it by now. I've experienced Edward's mood swings before." It wasn't a lie. Every moment with Edward was different. But anger was an emotion he had right to feel, it was only ever anger he felt around me anyway. He couldn't feel anything else.

"No!" Bella sounded exasperated, pulling me to the stairs with surprising strength. "He came to me last night Lucie, I was stupid," She frowned, then amended herself "well, I was _unconscious_. And I apparently muttered something about the Volturi in my sleep. Edward now thinks _you've _told me, he was muttering something about a broken promise," I felt my stomach twist. Great. _Another _thing to make me feel guilty about. I'd betrayed Edward; lied to him.

I let out a sigh, closing my eyes in defeat. My thoughts, so often mocking, interrupted the silence

_Today is not your day._

And for the first time, I was strongly inclined to agree.

Bella was looking _very _guilty now, "I'm sorry Lucie," She admitted. "I don't want him to be angry. He's just always convinced that being ignorant is safest."

"He's wrong," I said, smiling weakly, trying to soothe her guilt. She needn't be. I understood how Bella was feeling; I mean, her troubles was akin to my own. I thought about what she'd said though, she was correct. Edward _did _assume that ignorance was safest. He was mistaken though, I knew all about being ignorant, despite rarely being so. Ignorance was overrated.

My father's words hit me hard. "_Ignorance is easy Lucie; it blinds you from fear, but doesn't protect you." _I still didn't understand those words, but the thought of my father brought moisture to my eyes. Again, I felt like I was going to burst into tears, but didn't. The familiar sensation of my eyes drying instantly happened. My mother had soothed me once when I was eight. I'd lost something, and cried in frustration, then confessed how awful it was to cry.

"_Crying is a luxury Luciana," _She had said whilst cradling me, _"never feel ashamed to do it." _

"Lucie?" I looked up. Bella's eyes were wide and open, moisture clung to her thick eyelashes, she hadn't restrained the tears. "are you sure you're okay? She whispered.

"Okay as in: 'being possibly tracked and hunted by a bunch of sadistic vampires'?" I joked, she smiled, "Yeah, I'm great."

"Sounds about right." Bella murmured.

"Where is Edward by the way?" I asked.

"Oh," Bella smiled as if admitting to a secret, "he's in his room, I think-" But she didn't get to finish the end of her sentence, my question was answered soon enough.

"You two," Edward's voice floated from above us. Strained despite his attempt at sounding light, he looked at Bella though, when he spoke. Not meeting my eyes. I knew Alice had said something to him about me, probably not to be so rude. Still, it didn't seem to have had much effect.

"Honestly, you _both _attract danger." At this cold tone, Bella slipped from the stairs beside me, her grip on the railing wasn't enough to support her fall. It happened so quickly, and I was reminded of when I was seven again. Dropping a vase my mother had bought at a faire, when this happened, the air seemed to thicken. I had frozen, and watched the vase in its fall. Only this time, Bella (unlike my mother's vase) did not shatter. She was caught by Edward in one swift motion. _Had he jumped down the stairs?_

Bella was staring at Edward now; it took a while for her to compose her shocked expression. Slowly, she grinned "I think I'm best at the danger bit. Being such a klutz and all." Edward's back was facing me, did he realise I was getting squashed? I thought about how close he was. And regret the thought almost immediately. This only conjures another fiery blush to my cheeks. It won't cool. Ugh. Screw danger. Humiliation seems to be something I attract better.

"Yeah," Edward agreed almost ruefully, "you're lucky I'm always around to catch you." He was speaking only to Bella now. They seem so close together, so _happy_. I edged away slightly, they didn't notice. Not tripping like Bella. I used to think I was clumsy, but since I'd met Bella. I look practically _graceful_.

There was a sound then, and the sight that followed heavily contradicted my previous thoughts.

I turned to face the window, Alice was outside it, her and Jasper evidently having returned from their brief hunting trip (assuming they hadn't been lying earlier for my benefit.)

She was running - her hair with black spikes lifting lithely in the wind - and then jumped with such agile grace that she seemed to defy gravity.

I just found myself scowling.

It appeared that the laws of physics didn't apply to vampires.

And to think, for a moment, I considered myself graceful.

_Dream on._

Great. Now my mocking mind was back.

***

The day pasted in a blur. Mainly composed of me eating various dished Esme served for Bella and myself, convincing her I was not drastically underweight. Still, the nauseous fear that would return whenever Jasper left the room made me feel like I wanted to throw it all up.

Edward had been ignoring me all day. Furious at the fact that I had told Bella about the Volturi. I'd overheard Alice talking to him crossly, but this made me feel the opposite of happy. I hated the fact that Edward and Alice were arguing _because _of me. Bella had been the most human since I'd met her. I could see why both Edward and Jacob loved her. Without the hostility she'd tried to thrust at me, (hostility designed to repel me from the Cullens and all danger that followed) she was lovely. Albeit clumsy and easily frustrated. But nice all the same. She didn't speak about Jacob, for fear of people overhearing. But I knew when she thought of him. Her expression would turn troubled.

Now, I was facing the gilded mirror in the bathroom. I'd managed to escape the conversation of battle tactics. Not being able to contribute to it, _at all_. Rosalie and Esme seemed wary, Emmett had regained his enthusiasm, Carlisle; his professional serene calm, and Alice her chirpiness, having had a vision which placated her somewhat. (A prospect of new designer shoes she thought that would look good on Bella had appeared in the future market.) And Edward… was back to his cool calculated self.

In short. Everyone was back to normal, seemingly unperturbed. There were only two exceptions to this rule. Bella and I.

I knew she wanted to see Jacob. It was clear, in light of hearing Victoria was after her, she wanted to see him. I knew she was going to ask Alice to take her; she was probably doing so now. She wanted to warn him, but also not to tell him. It was confusing, but I could understand why.

Jacob was like Emmett. He revelled the prospect of a fight. And would do anything to be part of it.

_And Bella didn't want him to get hurt. _She didn't want _anyone _to get hurt, and was as torn up about getting undivided attention as I was.

I sighed then. Postponing the thought of why I wasn't myself. And slowly looking up into my reflection, seeing the quizzical scowl placed on my face.

My hair had been brushed since I'd awoken. Alice had done it, though at the time I'd been too captivated by Jasper's gift to notice, or feel annoyed by it. Now it fell in cascades down my shoulders. I was very fair, though my skin was devoid of freckles. Just pasty, with mauve coloured bruises forming under my eyes from my lack of sleep each night. I didn't linger on my eyes, instead concentrating on my attire.

The top was indeed, a luminescent white, that was what had caused my flashback from earlier to appear. It was, like so many of the clothes Alice bought, practically tailor fitted to my figure, cut low enough to expose my collar bones. It made my skin look more cream coloured then alabaster.

I drew my eyes away from my reflection, turning off the tap I'd put on for no reason. And stepped out the bathroom.

I wasn't sure what I wanted. A splitting headache had formed, I wanted to lie down somewhere, but discarded the thought. Knowing that with rest, my nightmares would inevitably follow. Instead, I did the next best thing possible.

I ran outside, needing fresh air to clear my mind.

The sky above me was darker now, a sunset was forming, hidden by the clouds, ones I knew were carrying rain. I shivered. But did not go back inside, instead walking to the forest, for some reason, oddly intrigued by the sheer beauty of it.

"What," Said an unmistakable voice, cold and enraged, behind me. "do you think you're doing, Luciana?" I jumped, swivelling round so fast I nearly tripped. Edward was before me, he had an odd expression on his face; it had switched in a matter of seconds, first from fury, then to fear. I righted myself, proud that I hadn't fallen to the earth and glared back at him, refusing to let his beauty overcome me.

"Getting some fresh air." I said lightly. "Is that such a crime these days?"

"It is," He moved closer, the sky above seemed to darken. "considering what could be out there…" His tone was so dark, so _serious_, it took me aback. I moved away from the forest, almost self consciously. But instantly regretted the movement, I was closer to him now.

What a great way to help me concentrate.

I looked at his face, unable to mask my hurt at his anger and rage.

"Edward. I'm sorry." I said truthfully, he didn't answer. His expression was pained, and for some obscure reason, I suddenly had the sensation he was suppressing something. And that his rage was not directed at myself.

Eventually, he spoke, his tone crisp and formal.

"Luciana. Get inside-"

"Stop calling me that!" I snapped, my anger subsiding as quickly as it had flared as I was walking away from him, closer to the woods again. I tried to summon it again. Why should I feel anything different to him? If he hated me, then I should mirror the emotion.

"Why? It's your name."

"No," I disagreed. "I'm Lucie." I didn't notice he'd moved closer, his steps barely audible against the earth.

"Lucie," The way he spoke it made me want to shiver, it seemed too meaning, too _intimate_, the way he spoke. His flawless tune of a voice wrapping round it like a caress, I shook my head slightly. Trying to clear my mind. Trying to _think_.

I cut across whatever he was going to say, my voice had lost all its previous anger, it sounded close to a plea.

"I-I just need to think, I don't want to go inside yet." I whispered to him, my eyes imploring. I didn't wait for his reaction, instead, leaned back against the tree, closing my eyes briefly, welcoming the scent that overwhelmed me. The damp moss of the air, woody scent of the bark, and horribly intoxicating aroma of Edward. I tried to distract my thoughts from this, and failed.

Instead, I thought about the turmoil of the situation I seemed constantly stuck in. Time seemed to move oddly in Forks, I'd been here less then 2 weeks, and I felt as If I knew everything about the place. It was probably quite an accurate assumption too. Moving here had changed my life. I did not regret it. Because standing here, with the quiet forest, and supernatural air, I finally felt at home.

There was a sound then, eerily perfect, I'd already forgotten were I was, unwilling to open my eyes. But then I remembered what it reminded me of. Aro's voice, his chilling perfection and grace. I gasped in shock as I opened my eyes. Momentarily sure he was beside me.

Edward's hands cupped my face; I felt the soothing ice against my numb cheeks; I knew I ought to pull away but I just stood there frozen, staring up at him.

"Sometimes," He breathed, his breath caressing over my skin, making my eyelids flutter, our faces so close now. "you just seem to do that."

"Do what?" I asked curiously, my voice was steady. It did not waver; my heart however, was another story entirely.

"Vanish off into your own little world, forget everything else around you."

I thought about his presence, his lean frame ever closer to my own.

"I don't forget." I whispered quietly.

"Still, you seem to escape the chaos, even if only for a moment." He mused softly, not removing his cool slender fingers, fingers that I had seen just yesterday caress piano keys, now touching my skin, ice cold, contrasting so oddly with my rapidly blushing cheeks. In another sense, standing here, I should have been cold. Yet I felt the opposite, an ardent fire seemed to be flaring inside me, fuelled by Edward's fingertips.

His voice took a while to reach me. I looked up, suddenly aware that I had done it again; a crooked smile was placed on his perfect lips. He spoke his words quietly. But the fervour was too powerful to be masked completely. A fervour that I must have imagined. One that I despised for feeling myself, His whispered words sent a terrible heat through me.

"I wish I could go there with you."

_But you do. You always do. What do you think I think about? _I didn't reply, too awed to make my parted lips form words. They seemed so insignificant. He studied my frozen expression, and breathed words again, the longing so sincere it was almost tangible."I don't hate you Lucie. I wish I could see your mind, access your thoughts. _Understand_."

"You'll just have to wait till I'm unconscious." I'd meant it as a joke, but my uneven heart rate made my speech breathless. Our eyes met, his were the gold of distant sunlight, my own a brilliant shade of emerald, my anger and frustration plain through my gaze. Though his expression made it melt away, fading into nothing.

"I shall." He whispered quietly, I must have misheard him. I averted my gaze, knowing that if I saw his eyes now - the terrible shade of gold - that my resolve would falter and then shatter completely. The lid that had kept my emotions bottled up for so long would burst. And its contents were deadly.

We stood there for a while, complete in silence, his cold fingers not leaving my burning skin, I wanted to stay like this forever. In a serene state of mind. Contempt. But naturally, didn't. Aro's milky red eyes loomed before me again; I couldn't compose my face in time. And Edward, who had been staring at me, noticed the change.

"Lucie, your dream, what else happened?"

It was at times like this, that I doubted whether my mind was immune to his gift. How did he know then, that I'd been thinking off that?

"Nothing." I lied. He raised his eyebrows. Not believing me "I-I don't remember it." _Another lie. _I stuttered though, by the intensity of his gaze. Trying to cover up, I looked promptly at my feet, it didn't exactly prove how truthful I was. Not looking him in the eye.

"Lucie," His voice was strained, "the rose blood has left your cheeks; you're as white as fresh snow; and you're stuttering," I thought about his smouldering eyes, and the incoherency in speech that they caused.

"Yeah, well that's hardly my fault…" I muttered, the sentence left my lips without thought, I felt myself blush. _Well there you go! The Rosy blush is back… _He raised an eyebrow, but otherwise ignored the outburst. And sudden change in my complexion.

"I know something happened." He breathed quietly, his voice sounded like velvet, but no fabric could hold so much emotion. "Tell me." It was a command I did not want to follow, but I'd already looked into his eyes. Now it was too late. The words left my mouth in a gush.

"Okay, Aro said something to me; at least, I _think _it was him. First he mentioned about my father, saying they'd hurt him, not let him _remain intact _or something horribly creepy like that, but…" I stopped to draw breath, as I concentrated hard on remembering Aro's exact words "Then, well, he sort of recited a chant or elegy of some sort…_'Desire corrupts, temptation powers. Darkness consumes, light devours…' _And_-_" But I didn't say anymore. Edward had stiffened, the hand he'd placed against my cheek fell, a remote look had formed in his eyes.

And I was nothing short of terrified.

In one swift motion, he pulled my body closer to him, his smouldering eyes boring into my own, a whole new kind of intensity burned din them. One that I feared. My heart was beating furiously, half in fear, and half in whatever Edward's presence seemed to so to my pulse. My back was placed against the tree; Edward refused to loosen his stance, as if preparing for an attack.

"What?" I asked, confused and terrified by his expression and posture. "Have you heard it before?"

He spoke through tight lips.

"Oh, I've heard it alright…"

***

**Dun dun dun…**

**Was that action? No… oh poop. Well, could it be classified as dream action? No…? double poop. Sorry *grins sheepishly* it shall arrive… eventually…**

**Now. We have 1 genius reviewer amongst us! Someone finally worked out my silly comments regarding the chapters '1,6,12,18' (and now 24) having something in common! Well… if you look, normally, each one starts with 'The…' (example: last chapter was; 'The Initiation Of Turmoil') HOWEVER, these chapters start differently! And… if you take every first letter of these titles… (okay… Right, I understand now why no-one got this fully. Complicated or what?)… well… look what it spells: **

**C**uriosity killed the Cat;

**H**iding the Hidden Truth;

**A**nother Despised Interruption;

**O**minous Truths Revealed …and finally…

**S**urreal Reality Falls.

**C.H.A.O.S**

**Hehe! Cool eh? Not cool? Ah well. **_**I **_**thought it was cool… :p**

**Okay. Anyone learn German out there? I don't… but hey, if you do, this will tell you the title for the next chapter, I've got a cryptic Easter Enigma for you: **Götterdämmerung. **Right... Translate that into English, and you have your chapter title, you'll see why… :p (well no, you probably won't! *sigh* only one person got my **_**easy **_**little riddle. None of you will get this!)**

**But hey, on the off chance that someone is a genius out there, I mean, if you can speak German, you've gotta be a genius. (I took the easy option. Spanish and French. German's too darn difficult. WAIT! I do know one sentence in German, but alas, in English it translates to: 'I am a doughnut.' still… that's a pretty useful phrase eh?) Ugh. I'm getting off track, big surprise there…**

**Anyway. So yeah. If, you translate that correctly, then you'll get a sneak peak of next chapter. (In other words, no-one will receive a sneak peak! mwhaha!) But, remember. If this hits 500 reviews, then everyone gets a whole chapter, as apposed to a measly sneak peak! **

**Poor Lucie… she seems to be getting awfully vivid dreams/vision thingies, doesn't she? Ugh, I'm sorry if they seem too detailed, and therefore **_**not-at-all-dreamlike! **_**(This chapter, believe it not, was based on another freaky dream if mine, I have lots of detail in my freaky dreams, so that's why Lucie does too, okays? If you think detail seems fake. Then hey, so are my scary dreams!)****But the detail is needed! And you readers like detail right? (Seeing as my story seems to be practically completely complied of that and not much else) then if you don't like detail…then, well…crud. ;) **

**Ich bin ein Berliner****! (yup. I am a doughnut :p)**

**HAPPY EASTER! *hands out Easter eggs to all who review! Oooh, and I'll give out hilarious baseball Carlisles this chapter for the best reviews!* Who can resist? (Apart from me. A personal Carlisle playing baseball will make me laugh too much.) PLEASE REVIEW! C'mon, this was a long chapter? Reward me please?**

**Lily- has babbled exceedingly and shan't apologise because it's Easter, she is also, now very cross at Mouse, who has just EATEN one of her Malteasers, Oh and she'd _really_ appreciate some reviews….**


	25. The Twilight Of The Gods

**HEYYYY! **

**Okay. My babbling has officially exceeded all human recordings. Yup. I've babbled WAY too much in this chapter. For that, I am sorry. **

"**I'll, just have to endure it." *Edward stomps from room and slams the reception door that **_**won't slam.* **_**(hehe. Sorry. That made me laugh in the DVD, you could tell he **_**wanted **_**it to slam, he evidently used his vampire strength on it, but the door overcame that… I'd of been pretty disappointed myself.)**

**Right. So I'm now muttering on about doors am I? **_**Okay**_**…**

**Oh, and I did update extra super speedily, but this chapter is shorter than the last few I did… sorry about that. It was either a slightly (okay a bit more than slightly) shorter chapter… or a far later update. I'm guessing you'd prefer this option?**

**Wow. You reviewers out there are **_**freaking awesome**_**! YAY! Thanks so much people! I got such lovely reviews that cheered me up tremendously! Oh, and before I forget. This chapter I've decided to dedicate to **Jade Lyssy Swan**. For two reasons:**

**1). *most importantly! :p* She always seems to give mammoth reviews that inspire me to update fast.**

**2). She has an amazing story herself on fanfiction called: 'Rosa' and I really advise people to read and review it! It's amazing, and doesn't have the reviews it deserves! So yup. Maybe… (after you read **_**and review**_** this chappy **_**naturally **_**;p) you could review hers? Seriously. Her reviews are GREAT! You owe her a lot for my UPDATE. (hehe. Go rhymey-me!)**

**Okay. Wait. I sound horribly bias. I'll change that. This chapter is dedicated to **_**everyone **_**who reviewed the last! Seriously thanks SO much for all your reviews you give! Oh and wait… TONNES of you worked out my enigma *gasp* resulting in me having to give away all my sneak peaks! *double gasp* yup. So I was truly gob smacked at that! (hehe. **_**Gobsmaked**_**! Such a silly word :p)**

**Alas, alack! (another saying that is not used enough in these modern times *sigh*) I am no longer fuelled on chocolate, it having all been eaten my myself and partially consumed by one certain very, **_**very, **_**bad cat (who shall be punished and feel my almighty wrath -which takes form in my eyes-)*glares at Mouse* **

**Now. For any of the following to make sense (which it will, no doubt, still make no sense anyway, knowing me) you need to understand that I have NO money. I spent my last of it on a Twilight DVD. Which has now been watched too many times. Okay. So yup, basically, I was very foolish. I made a bargain with my dad. He claims I read too much, (how can you read **_**too **_**much?!) and said that he wouldn't buy me ANY books *yup. I started to hyperventilate right then* … until I'd read the ones he approved of. (In over words: roll in the biographies on Churchill; Organic Chemistry Advanced Conundrums; and Mathematical Puzzles!) See… that's such a **_**horrid **_**taste! (okay… Chemistry Conundrums? Can you even get those?) Oh… and to anyone who does like Churchill Biographies… sorry I offended you ;)**

**ANYWAY… he said that he'd buy me a book, as apposed to an Easter Egg. *gasp* I accepted. (having already received an Easter egg from my mother) NOW though. I am left with NO chocolate. And an 800 page book that I read ALL last night. Leaving me ALONE.**

**So yup. No book. No more chocolate *sigh* Life's so unfair…**

**Oh. And I'm ticked. The City of Glass (LAST of the Mortal Instruments Trilogy by Cassandra Clare) isn't out where I live in stupid rainy England *It was RAINING on Easter Sunday- meaning the EASTER EGG HUNT! (Yes. I still have Easter egg hunts. I always beat my ten year old sister when finding the eggs. And then have to SHARE my magnificent findings -huff-) had to be postponed until Monday.) …. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. **

**So, the book I really, really, really, need right now. Shan't be out until July (JULY?! NOOO… that's AGES away… *sniff*) and I'm upset. Curse all you lucky people in America who already have access to it! (okay, I'll lift the curse. You review, so you can't be cursed :p) Yup. Basically, this all leads to me being subdued. I have no book. No chocolate. No prospect of a great book-coming-to-England-Bookstores-anytime-soon. And Mouse is trying her best to type on this laptop. (I have officially decided that the hairs from my cat shall never come out of the keys) **

**So hmmmms… seeing as I'm so… depressed? Could I get cheered up by reviews? :p**

**I did warn you about my babbling at the top…**

**Right. Sorry. I'll shut up for good. On with the chapter ;)**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

Edward had stiffened, the hand he'd placed against my cheek fell, a remote look had formed in his eyes.

And I was nothing short of terrified.

In one swift motion, he pulled my body closer to him, his smouldering eyes boring into my own, a whole new kind of intensity burned din them. One that I feared. My heart was beating furiously, half in fear, and half in whatever Edward's presence seemed to so to my pulse. My back was placed against the tree; Edward refused to loosen his stance, as if preparing for an attack.

"What?" I asked, confused and terrified by his expression and posture. "Have you heard it before?"

He spoke through tight lips.

"Oh, I've heard it alright…"

***

**The Twilight Of The Gods. **

I continued to stare at him. The very air around us seemed electric, suddenly charged with a thousand volts, matching the current beneath my skin. I felt as if sparks were radiating off him, just like diamonds did whenever sunlight reached his flawless figure. He was staring at me, with such a peculiar expression; it made me wonder what my own was like. His, indecisive, as if trying to prevent himself from doing something. The air around us was frosty; my breath came out in white puffs of smoke. Though I was oblivious to this. Oblivious to his cold touch, to the bitter air.

I'd never felt so warm, so _hot_, (and yes, I mean that in the literal sense, you know the one regarding _temperature…_) in my life. The cold could not penetrate me yet. Not now.

I didn't dare to look too closely into his eyes, afraid somewhat, of what I would see. Or _not _see. Though soon my pretence waned, and I gazed into them, searching for something, anything.

And then I snapped back into reality.

His eyes were fearful, and I remembered my previous terror. The reason why I was so close. The protective stance. The realisation he'd had.

So yeah. I'd momentarily forgotten the seriousness of the situation. Who could blame me? It wasn't my fault! Truly, it wasn't; trust me, when one is in Edward Cullen's presence. It's easy to get distracted.

_Keep telling yourself that._

"Shut up!" I shouted into the silence. Realising all too late, I'd spoken my thoughts aloud. Mentally (yeah. _This _time I did it mentally) kicking myself.

Edward cocked one perfectly sculpted eyebrow, composing the shocked expression that had briefly flashed across his angelic face at my sudden - and not to mention very random - outburst.

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind. I was just…" I let the sentence die on my tongue. What could I have said: _telling my mind to shut up? _Yeah. Because I was sounding really sane today as it was. I snapped my mouth shut. Edward, for a moment, seemed amused at my flustered expression, though when his features slipped into a grimace once more, a question bubbled to my lips.

"So that thing in my dream, the poem, whatever, you've heard it before? What does it mean? No, wait, what _is _it?"

His voice was lower than I'd ever heard it, agitated, he spook fluidly, as if reciting from a book. Yet generally, when you recite something, you never tend to sound so worried. Well, not in my experience anyway. Still, the way he spoke, so quietly, it was as if he was afraid people would hear. I instantly felt my eyes linger on the forest behind us.

"Yes, I've heard it before; it's the chant of the Ragnarök."

I knew I was meant to stay calm and composed in a situation like this. I mean, it was pretty darn significant. But I couldn't. My instincts took the better of me; I spoke in exasperation, as if Edward expected me to know what on earth the chant of the _Ragnarök _was?

"I'm sorry, but _Ragnarök? _What the hell is that?!" I asked in disbelief. I saw the vivid spark of emerald from my eyes reflected in his. I frowned. I wasn't angry. It was evident my eyes just sparked green when I showed any emotion linked to irritation or annoyance. Great.

He frowned then, evidently trying to remember, when he spoke though, each word seemed to get more strained. As if the sheer scale of the situation was only just dawning on him. His eyebrows were now firmly mashed together, matching the hard line of his lips.

"Ragnarök: the destruction of gods; in Norse mythology, the final destruction of the gods in a great battle against the forces of evil, after which a new world will arise." His voice had turned from scholar-like to little more than a whisper, as if it was about to crack."The Volturi," He whispered.

"So what, they're this Ragnarök then?" My voice wasn't like his, less brittle, less fragile. _What was so bad? _"And wait, a little more information please about all this? _A new world will arise_? What?" He sighed shakily, but instead of removing his arms, held in such away they seemed to shield me from the dark forest behind us. He seemed to draw himself closer, as if trying to make me blend into the shadows, become unnoticed. The thought of this chilled me. Edward had never seemed so unnerved. He was always the epitome of control, of certainty.

_So why was he now looking at me as if the earth was in peril?_

"The Volturi aren't strictly speaking _the _Ragnarök. No, it's a term used to describe downfall, a disastrous conclusion of events. A very old term in fact. In English it translates to 'Twilight of the Gods', basically, it's an overthrow of power, with evil winning from sheer numbers. But that phrase you saw, well, _heard _Aro say in your dream… it's what they used to chant. I…" but he trailed off. I didn't think I'd ever felt more afraid, my own breath had caught in my throat.

Edward looked so desolate, I was unsure of what to do. Suddenly I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I was shocked. I wasn't crying was I? Though when I heard the sound of water hitting trees, I soon realised it had merely been a raindrop, as apposed to tears. I looked up. The sky above us now was still dark, the clouds had intensified since I'd last seen them, and now rain was falling thick and fast.

But Edward was looking past where I was, staring off into the blood red sunset, oblivious to the rain, steadily soaking him. I was partially sheltered by it, in cover of his arms and the tree. He wasn't. It made his shirt cling to him, I closed my eyes briefly, trying to avert my attention from that, then looked at his face instead. He looked lost in thought, it was only when a horrible fear passed across his expression did I realise the seriousness of the situation. He turned to me, his golden eyes burning. The only light in the darkness. That and his luminescent figure, an incandescent pale white contrasting with the dark forest. _A dove amongst the crows._

"What?" My lip trembled.

"Lucie," His voice sounded broken. "they're after… you."

"What?" I repeated, sounding thick. Only hearing his words distantly, as if spoken from far away. Distorted like when passing through water. The Volturi? _Oh yeah, I knew that already thanks._

I felt disorientated. The red sunset sky seemed to blur with the forest. Black against red. Like lines of blood seeping through a dark cloak. I felt sick; I was sure I would fall if Edward's arms hadn't been wrapped around me

"Do you want to know how the Ragnarök succeeded in this? The prophesied downfall of gods?" The rain fell from his face, terribly close to my own. Collected in droplets in his hair, in the prevailing darkness, it no longer seemed bronze. He tightened his grip around me; it did nothing to lessen my fear.

No. No I didn't. Not at all.

My eyelids fluttered rapidly, matching the tempo of the rain drops falling.

"How?" _Damn you curiosity! _My voice was too quiet, too weak, unsteady. My heart rate sped; it hurt my ribs, beating so quickly I felt giddy. I knew this sensation. I knew it all too well. Having experienced the effects of it too many times.

Oh crud. Not now.

I desperately focussed on Edward's eyes, the golden sunlight seemingly fading from them with each unsettling word.

"They sacrificed a gifted child," He spat; the idea clearly repulsed him, his eyes darkened as he said it, the brilliant gold now only a faint topaz. "and consumed her mortal blood."

Then. Everything went black, and I could hear Aro's elegy as I slipped from Edward's grasp, his once luminescent figure faded before me. Aro was right.

_Darkness consumes._

***

**Edward's POV: (Ha! Bet **_**this **_**was unexpected!)**

She had slumped into my arms. Her beautiful eyes, gemstones flickering from caramel to emerald had shut. I didn't know exactly when I'd started running towards the house, my mind was screaming at what Id just figured out. The horrible fact of what the Volturi wanted to do to Lucie had hit me hard. I didn't regard the girl in my arms weak for fainting, though I knew she would, for if I had been human. I was sure I would have done so too.

_If you were human, instead of a monster. _I wanted to ignore my mind, bitter and dark. But one can only ignore the truth for so long…

I didn't care for the damage I did to the door as I burst into our home. My only thoughts were purely orbiting around the girl in my arms, her golden hair falling around her pale face - wet from rain - and the horrible fate destined for her. I'd regretted my choice of words, almost as quickly as I'd uttered them: _and consumed her mortal blood_. It was my fault that she was now unconscious.

I felt sick. A desire to see Bella suddenly took me, she was with the Blacks, Alice had taken her previously. My mind pictured her porcelain face, forever troubled recently. I wished I could read her mind, unwind the secrets she was keeping from me. I just wanted to _help_. Why was it, that everything I loved, was put in danger? This thought brought me back to reality again, I looked to Lucie, wishing for her sake, that I didn't; wouldn't; _couldn't _love her.

Why was I even considering love? My confusion mounted once more.

She was motionless in my arms, but her heart wasn't. It was beating furiously, as if she was running. But I had no thought for her blood running subtly under her supple skin. The monster inside me didn't dare arise when my mood was like this. My fear had overruled it. The desire to watch whatever was making her pulse rise took me, _and then I could only see darkness and shadows. Nothingness, a rising sense of fear-_

"Edward?" Carlisle's alarmed voice snapped me out of Lucie's mind. His eyes shot to her, and instantly his medical training kicked in, moving beside me in an instant, and removing her from my arms. I was unwilling to let go. But let him suspend her all the same. _It was probably better this way_, I thought. _No, it _is _better this way. Why do you have any desire to hold her? You love Bella. _My thoughts were both sickening me and scaring me. There was no denying how right they were. I looked back at Carlisle though, desperate for a distraction.

_What happened? _He thought.

"She fainted, Carlisle… something _bad _has happened." I couldn't speak properly though. My voice caught in my throat. Something bad? It was so much worse than that. But I couldn't tell him yet. Not until I knew she was safe. Carlisle seemed to understand, we moved to the sitting room, he placed her on the large sofa, she shivered. I wrapped the afghan guilt that draped across a chair around her.

_She's fine son. I'll get Alice to inform us of when she'll awake, don't worry she's just in shock, what did you tell her? What's wrong? How urgent is-_

"Please." I murmured, my head felt like it was going to split open. "One question at a time." I didn't wait for one though, I needed to tell him, and fast. "Okay, you know the Ragnarök?" It was a stupid question; of course he knew.

_Yes. A very __archaic term though I must say_. _The Twilight of the Gods and the end of the cosmos in Norse mythology, also translated in German I believe to Götterdämmerung. But why on earth do you ask? _

I exhaled in a long gust, a breath that I don't need. Carlisle's knowledge is larger than my own. I knew this already, but still I found my self feeling comforted. I had my own questions, urgent, that needed to be answered.

"Well, Lucie's been having these dreams right. And she told me she heard Aro chanting the same elegy that they said: '_Desire corrupts, temptation powers. Darkness consumes, light devour' _… I think they're planning on _sacrificing _her. Like prophesied…" I couldn't carry on, instead the sentence died on my tongue. _Please contradict me Carlisle. Please say I'm wrong_.

But his expression did the very opposite from contradiction, he looked at me aghast. And I knew that my fears were confirmed.

"Aro you say?" Carlisle whispered, shocked, "You aren't suggesting this is the Volturi? They plan to…" He trailed off, his thoughts were too fast for me to follow, as he contemplated the news I'd given him. My family surrounded us now, I barely noticed. Itching to sit beside Lucie, and hating myself for it.

_Edward? What's happened? Why's she lying half dead on the couch? Jeez what did you _do _Edward? Do you always have this effect on humans? _Normally Emmett could make me laugh, whether intentionally or not. But not now. I looked at him, Carlisle was already explaining the situation, and I was grateful for it. I couldn't speak.

"Wait?" Emmett asked, losing his jovial tone. "Are you saying that the Volturi, they're imitating this old scary tale? They want to…" he didn't finish the end of his sentence. Just like Carlisle had done before. I thought about his words bitterly, wishing that it could be no less that a _scary tale _as he put it. Alice spoke before I could though, she alone did not seem unnerved like the rest, I scoured her mind for answers, but none arose. She was hiding something.

"They plan to sacrifice her, and drink her blood. The legend said that; though I don't think those who wrote it were aware of vampires at the time." She grimaced, then mused quietly "Oddly fitting, isn't it?"

"Wait, this Ragnarök, I've heard of it before." Rosalie spoke up, I couldn't compose my expression of shock fast enough, Rosalie shot me a glare. "I thought it was an opera, didn't that make up the _Der Ring des Nibelungen_?" Emmett looked as shocked as I felt. I wanted to ask how she knew this, but Emmett beat me to it.

"How the hell did you know that babe?" It was the same sentence I would have exclaimed, though admittedly without the use of the word 'babe'.

She looked up at him, a coy yet undeniably seductive smile spread across her full lips. I suddenly felt very glad for not asking. Though I was certain her reaction _would _have been slightly different if I'd said it. Still, it wasn't something I'd be willing to chance.

"I'm not just pretty face."

Carlisle interrupted; I turned to him, grateful for a distraction from my sibling's heads. He'd regained his calm demeanour; it was something that drove me half mad, and grateful. I wasn't sure which was better anymore. Silence or chaos. Both seemed dark now.

"But not just any blood," Carlisle said, speaking only to me and Alice now. "the blood of a gifted mortal…" I knew what he was implying and I refused to believe it.

"They want her blood." Alice muttered, but she went to Lucie's side, sighing slightly as she did so. "She'll awake in a minute."

"How come you didn't see this Alice?" I asked, but my voice sounded more broken than bitter. She bit her lip, frowning.

"I don't know, perhaps it's because she's got the constant prospect of dwelling in the past which makes it harder for me to see. I deal with the future; the past is murky for me." Her tone is rueful; I knew she was thinking about her own past now, and the longing to remember it.

"You say harder?" I didn't miss that.

Alice turned t me then, and for the briefest moment, her mind slipped. Finally revealing a thought she'd meant to keep from me.

_Lucie stained with blood, her beauty enhanced, running with ethereal grace. Her eyes, a vivid crimson._

"_No_!" I shouted, everyone turned round, oblivious to the vision I'd seen in Alice's mind. Lucie stirred restlessly at the noise, I was surprised my cry didn't wake her up.

_Her gift Edward. _Carlisle was unperturbed by my outburst, his tone urgent._ There's no denying it anymore. It's powerful, even more so than Alice's I daresay, if she could somehow sustain it- _

"She shouldn't have to." I whispered, "she can see people's pasts, that's hardly a great gift. I doubt it's of any use to the Volturi, I don't understand why the covet her." The lie feels like poison against my tongue.

"Then tell me this Edward," Carlisle mused softly. "is it just me, or are these visions of hers becoming more frequent?" I just stared at him, shocked by the truth of his words. Lucie thrashed suddenly on the sofa and I made a movement to go to her side, soothe her dream, stop her nightmares. She didn't deserve this. All the while fighting down the terrible emotion that I shouldn't feel; _could not _feel.

Carlisle's firm grasp stopped me.

"No Edward don't, stop it, you have to watch her visions, I don't believe they are merely dreams anymore. They're too accurate. Tell us what she sees." But I don't want to do that. Her visions were horribly haunting to experience. But then her breathing became laboured, and she broke into cold sweat.

My voice was hoarse when I spoke.

"It's _hurting _her. These visions, her power, it's terrible."

"But strong." Carlisle assured. "both a blessing and a curse, just like yours and Alice's. Though admittedly hers seems more complex, a complexity she doesn't seem aware of."

"She can't know." I said quietly. "It would be harder that way, better if she could remain as ignorant as possible."

"Maybe." Carlisle murmured. "but ignorance is only the safest way sometimes Edward."

"Do you think her gift is powerful?" I asked, unsure myself.

"Very." he breathed, then shook his head ruefully, casting a glance at her frail figure on the sofa. "It's one thing to accept a power you understand, and learn to control it, and another entirely to have it thrust upon you without realising its profundity."

I did not bother to form a reply. I stared, unblinking, at her face - so pale, so innocent - and revisited the scream to God that threatened to escape me. _Why her_? She did not deserve this fate; no one did. But least of all her.

I didn't really realise I'd sat beside her; my thoughts were reviewing my actions. I was always callous around her; impertinent. And I could tell she hated me for it. But I had to act that way around her. It was better for her to believe I hated her, I wished I _could _hate her. But as my eyes looked at her once more, her shirt too expensive to be her immediate preference, lightly revealing how slight she was. Low cut enough to reveal the alabaster skin, and delicate curve of the hollow at her throat.

I wrenched my eyes away. Loathing myself, and knowing it was a lost cause.

_What do you see? _Alice's thought reminds me of my purpose, I look back at her, glad for an honest excuse to do so, and her dream envelopes me.

I'd missed the start of it again, I could tell. The vision was blurry, I wondered if could touch her cheek it would become cleared, if the contact of her skin against my could somehow strengthen the link. I discard the thought, fearing she'd awake at my touch.

_She was standing in a forest, seemingly blind to her surroundings, she looked terrified. But I noticed something then, a movement in the darkness. I turn sharply to see a figure, a woman with hair the colour of the sun against the darkness, watching her._

_Eventually, Lucie's eyes opened, she sighed in relief, oblivious to both my presence and the woman's. But then the woman spoke, her voice lost in the breeze, whispering something I couldn't hear._

_The vision blurred significantly, I could feel her fear stronger, mixed with… regret? I didn't understand, suddenly I felt like I was falling, she slumped to the forest floor._

Then her pale lavender eyelids fluttered; thick eyelashes caressed her alabaster cheeks and she opened her eyes, blinking into my face. A blush formed on her skin, making it look like a radiant cream as apposed to my own ethereal pale ivory.

Her eyes suddenly sparked, her pupils innocent and wide. Steadily turning a beautifully salient emerald overruling the caramel in her irises. Contrasting stunningly against her features, alight in shock.

_One can only ignore the truth for so long…_

And I hated my feelings.

Because I couldn't deny them any longer.

Lucie was beautiful.

***

**Lucie's POV:**

_I couldn't see for all the darkness; couldn't hear for the blood pumping in my ears. Another tumult of fear shook me, horrified at the prospect of nothingness. But as I stood frozen, trapped by the eternal night, I realised I could finally hear, as well as see the ominous forest around me. The ink black trees stood out vividly against the blood read sky. _

_There was no one here. I felt the breath escape my lips in relief, before the dominant fear made them tremble, ceasing the translucent wisps of smoke. The sound, a voice saying something, unclear, unfocused, fading into the distance with each dwindling breath._

_I could see someone now, off in the distance, her hair whipping ferociously round her face._

_Her voice rang clearly through the trees; hauntingly familiar, I caught one word before I fell, letting the darkness seize me._

"Run._"_

***

Lying in a serene state is odd. Especially when you have the nagging sensation telling you that danger is drawing closer. Like walls slowly crushing someone, eliminating all hope, let alone prospect, of escape.

So you can imagine my confusion to why I felt so relaxed. Vaguely I could register murmurs around me, muffled, but anxious. They didn't suit the tranquillity I felt. But then, neither did this pressing fear nor worry that seemed to be half suffocating me. I was trapped, half stuck between amity and chaos; two complete opposites. Unsure of which was best. Which was real, dream or reality. Though vaguely I could tell, the answer seemed obvious. And for that reason, I chose to ignore it. Refusing to believe that chaos was the soul sensation that filled my life. With each thought though, I knew my glimmer of peace and tranquillity was slowly dying…

Tentatively I opened my eyes.

Only to find _him _staring down at me, a smile slowly spreading on his lips. Amused, it seemed, by my shocked expression. Yet this was enough for everything to come tumbling back. The serene state cracked, the flicker of hope died, and that was all it took.

"_You_." My voice shook furiously, still out of breath from either the dream or before that. "Made me faint!" A bemused look spread across his face. I simply glared back. It was true! And completely unjust too. I hated fainting, why was it that my lapses of unconsciousness seemed to have increased frequently? I would blame it on him. Any remote anger, no matter how trivial, I was prepared to use. I couldn't let the over emotion seize me, not with the knowledge of how unrequited it was.

I could still remember the look in his eyes when he'd caught Bella from falling previously. My stomach twisted. Yes. I would summon all the anger I had.

"Did I?" He murmured quietly, "And how exactly, did I do that?" I knew his reply was meant to stop me from responding. Meant to make a blush rise to my cheeks, but it didn't. I scowled up at him, not forgetting the reason for my faint. And it wasn't because _of _Edward, just the things he said. I sat up, ignoring his implying tone; a sudden anger was fuelling me with a sense of power. And I wasn't yet willing to give it up.

"Well, let's think," I muttered sarcastically, "it couldn't have been at all due to the fact that you told me one hell of a creepy story - mainly complied of a prophesy indicating my death by some sadistic vampires drinking or 'consuming' my blood now, could it?"

"She's good," I heard Emmett mutter in approval, "figured it out a lot quicker than we did."

"Thank you Emmett." I muttered curtly. He grinned, leaning against the window, Rosalie was beside him; Carlisle at the door; in fact, _everyone _was in the room, and more to the point: they were all staring at me. Great. Centre of attention yet again. Perfect. Just like I'd always dreamed...

Except, I couldn't help but notice one absence. Bella.

_Well. That explains Edward's interaction. _I couldn't help but think bitterly.

"Yes, well-" Edward had lost all previous amusement, his voice was strained. I tried to stand up, but his cold hand rested on my shoulder, restraining. I wanted to rip it off. But didn't. He probably wouldn't feel it.

_Curse you vampire strength._

"Let me up." I muttered darkly.

"You'll get head rush." Edward sighed, as if stating the obvious.

"Will not!" I muttered indignantly, how could he know?

"I'm afraid you will Lucie, I foresaw it a few seconds ago. Just wait a few moments." Alice murmured softly, she was sitting on the sofa beside me. _Oh, so that's what I was sitting on_. It explained why I'd been so comfortable. I then realised I had a quilt wrapped round me too. I wanted to remove it; it made me seem like a child. But I felt cold, and instead pulled it tighter around me. Out the corner of my eye I saw Edward's expression turn smug. I wanted to kick something. Hazard a guess as to what would be on the top of my list? (Of kicking that is.)

I tried to think then. Ridding my head of sarcastic thoughts, they would not help the situation at hand. My dream burned vividly before my vision again, and I suddenly wished I could have the sarcastic thoughts back.

I could feel my hair strewn across my forehead, but I wasn't sure if it was held there by water from the rain (now pelting down heavily outside, causing a harsh drumming sensation against the windows where it fell) or from cold sweat. I shivered, realising it was probably a combination of the two. The memory of my dream refused to disappear; it made my voice shake slightly when I next spoke.

"H-how long have I been out? Unconscious..." I asked quietly, directing the question to Alice as apposed to Edward.

"Only five minutes." Edward answered for her. I didn't doubt what colour my eyes were turning.

"Nope," Alice said, smiling at me, sensing my annoyance towards her favourite sibling. "you've been unconscious for precisely four minutes and thirty-two seconds," she chimed, "actually." I saw Emmett grin, evidently at Edward's expression, and I couldn't help the vindictive smile spread across my lips.

"Oh, and what time is it?"

My question wasn't answered immediately, though I doubted this was due to the fact that none of them knew the time. Instead, Jasper spoke, I turned to see his expression, it was confused. Though whether that was due to my emotions or someone else's I wasn't sure.

"You're sleeping here tonight Lucie; you can take Alice's room."

It took several long seconds for me to react to that.

"_What_? No!" I shouted, they didn't look shocked. Alice sighed.

"Told you so." She muttered. Emmett also sighed then, but dramatically, unlike Alice.

"I'd take it Luce, your choice was either Alice's room or Edward's. And trust me, his is way too tidy, he'd probably shoot you if you touched his books."

"Hilarious, Emmett." Edward muttered, not amused. I couldn't smile though, still shocked.

"I-I can't stay _here_," I sputtered, making to stand up again, Edward's grip on my shoulder seemed firmer though, and I couldn't move from where I sat. Again the urge to kick him arose. It was almost overwhelming. "what about my father? He'll be worried sick and-" But Edward cut across me, his glare murderous, but it didn't diminish my determination. I would _not _leave my father.

_And this time_, I chanted mentally to myself, _I wasn't going to be weak_.

"Lucie," He spoke through gritted teeth. "it's too dangerous. The Volturi are after you. You can't stay unprotected," I was about to protest, but he met my gaze, and I saw the fire burning in his topaz eyes. And hated the way they captivated me. "I won't allow it."

I breathed in through my mouth slowly, choosing my words carefully. This was going to be harder than I'd thought.

"No. I can't. I have to go to my father. If I'm in danger, then so is he. And I _will not_, let him get hurt." I directed my gaze directly at Edward, knowing it was him I needed to convince. "And besides," I dropped my gaze suddenly. "have you forgotten about Bella? She's in more danger than I am. And yet _she's _not here." I felt rather than heard Edward's sharp intake of breath. An action I knew, that would make his throat burn with thirst for my blood. The thought of this irked my pulse, and the tempo of it increased.

It was Alice's voice though, that spoke.

"She will be." Her voice is the calmest I've heard and also the most certain.

"Then where is she?" I asked. And to my surprise, it was Rosalie who answered. A disgusted edge to her usually harmonious voice.

"She's with the dogs."

"Werewolves," Alice corrected her. My stomach tightened. _Jacob_, my mind corrected. "she needs to warn the Quileute reservation, now she's in danger, they'll want to be warned of it." The glance at Alice shot at Edward then, who had now frozen, was not something I missed. She continued a dark edge to her voice. "_They _won't be too thrilled at the prospect of more vampires coming to Forks…"

"Oh, I should think they'd be perfectly thrilled," Edward spoke suddenly; Alice's tone no longer seemed dark when compared to his, ominous and bitter. "It'll give them something to wag their tails at. The prospect of a fight."

The tension in the air suddenly seemed to have intensified.

"My opinion of the werewolves has officially risen." Emmett stated, oblivious, or just incredibly good at times like this, at acting, to the mood that had just fallen. "Anyone who's ready for a fight is good in my books." He grinned again.

"By that you mean: anyone who's stupid enough to enjoy fighting and putting their life at risk?" Rosalie asked, the sentence was scolding, but her tone wasn't. She smiled at Emmett, and I knew it was for breaking the tension again. But I noticed the topic of my nights' stay had come to an abrupt holt. No. I wasn't going to give up that easily.

"I'm going home." I stated. My voice didn't waver. Beside me, Edward growled.

"_No_."

"Edward," Carlisle spoke, and Esme was now beside her soon, prying his hands gently from my shoulder. At first, it was if he was unwilling to let go. But the next moment, he'd stood up, and turned to face Carlisle. "she can go home. Her father needs protecting too. It just means one of us will need to stay with her."

For some reason, Carlisle's words sent a peculiar sensation through me; ecstasy and fear, raising the hairs on the back of my neck, and goose pimples along my arms. I held on to the ecstasy, forcing myself to believe it was because I'd stayed strong for once. And got my way. Edward stopped his protests then. He turned slowly, looking from me to Carlisle, indecision plain once more on his features. He breathed out in a sound alike to a sigh of defeat.

"Fine. I will." He murmured in a voice no more than a whisper. I don't know why. But this very confirmation (the one I'd subconsciously both craved and feared.) That Edward Cullen would be watching my house whilst I was asleep tonight, made my heart jump like Alice having consumed coffee again. I felt my cheeks flush in embarrassment at my pulse, and heart, knowing that each vampire in the room could hear it

Jasper was the first to leave the room, being most affected by the change in my heart rate. The news of this made my cheeks reddened further. I shot an imploring glance at Alice, feeling awful.

"Sorry." I whispered, she just smiled, vanishing before I could blink to join him. That was another thing to add to my list of things-that-vampires-could-do-so-much-better than-myself: super speed. But I cut my thoughts off there. I didn't want to think about how many things could be added to that list. My prediction was in the thousands.

But this reaction, with Jasper and Alice gone, seems to make everyone else follow suit. Well. Everyone, having one exception. The room had suddenly turned silent. Leaving only the thudding sound of my pulse in my ears. After a while it drove me crazy. I made to stand up.

But wasn't surprised when Edward stopped me. Again.

I turned to him, not knowing which emotion was strongest; my irritation, or temptation to succumb to his voice, believe the things he said, feel glad as apposed to anxious at the prospect of him watching me sleep.

"Tell me what's wrong." His voice was alluring, supple as velvet. My breathing caught, I forgot my irritation, trapped suddenly by-

Right. That did it. If he sounded anything close to sultry I would kick him, regardless of any vampire strength. I was already falling for his stupid persuasive techniques. I composed my face and did my best to glare at him.

"I'm getting sick of over-protective vampires." I muttered for an answer.

"I'm far from overprotective." Yeah. _Sure_. Edward, overprotective? Preposterous.

"Then why," I said through gritted teeth, "won't you allow me to even stand up?" Instantly, he removed his hand from my shoulder. The skin there felt like it was burning. I stood up; he was staring at me again though. This was the sort of time when a one eyebrow raising look would have been perfect. As it was though, I settled with raising both. He mirrored the look, speaking before I could make my lips form words.

"Happy now?"

"Yes. Thanks." I muttered curtly, now feeling stupid standing there, and slightly intimidated too. I never realised how _tall _Edward was, maybe it was enhanced by the fact that we were close…

I frowned. Willing myself to hold the composure I'd managed to perfect minutes before. Trying to feel angry at him again. The silence had fallen once more. Only my shallow breathing broke it. He wasn't breathing. With a sharp twinge of guilt I imagined how much pain he was in being so close. Inches away from my skin, and the blood that pumped beneath its surface.

"Lucie," He said quietly his tone ardent. For some reason, his words, breaking me out of my thoughts, sent a shock through me, as if I'd just touched a live current.

I looked up. There was an intent look in his eyes (no trace of humour remained) making the light in them more prominent, captivating my gaze. I was lost then, momentarily awed. But I had to concentrate. I closed my eyes, sighing angrily in frustration willing my heart to _shut up! _"Lucie?"I snapped my eyes back open, Edward looked confused, though I averted from looking into his eyes again when I spoke.

"Sorry, go on."

He raked a hand though his still wet hair; a stressed gesture. It still maintained a flawless casual disarray though, the bronze colour contrasting beautifully against his burning golden eyes. _Do not look at them!_

"Your dream Lucie," I wished he hadn't said that. Suddenly I found myself fighting the elusive memory desperate to impair my vision again. The darkness that threatened to pull me under. _Her _voice…

_Run._

"Yes?" My voice was barely audible, but he heard it. He lent closer still, are foreheads almost touching, I could practically feel the heat from my skin react against the miracle cool breath.

"Who was that woman? The one in the forest?"

I couldn't help it. I stared into his eyes, willing the intensity to give me strength. But when I replied, my voice was devoid of anything but that. I said the truth to him, wishing I could lie.

"My mother."

***

***gasp* and breathe…**

**Oh poop. I think I forgot the action AGAIN. Well maybe… ugh, it's no use. I have haven't I? You don't hate me do you? Oh dear… is that a cliff-hanger? It is? *hides from possible cliff-hanger-related-threats* :p**

**I don't **_**believe **_**I typed this**: 'Hazard a guess as to what would be on the top of my list?' **I'm sorry, but it had me laughing a lot. Hazard a guess? Am I the only one who finds this hilarious?! (I am aren't I? :p)**

**And yeah… it's short eh? :s Sorry! Next chapter shall be longer. If this is being dragged out then I'm sorry… ugh. **

**Hehe. Carlisle reminds me of **_**Gandalf **_**in this chapter! HA! (No, I do not mean that he has spontaneously sprouted a large grey beard and downed a wizard costume. Though that **_**would **_**be an interesting plot development! :p) He just seems so very wise don't you agree? :p Maybe I'll call him… 'Carlisle the White' from now on (it could refer to his medical uniform..) Ach. Oh dear. I've just re-read my A/N… you readers must think I'm crazy, I fear you're close to the truth… :p Oh, and speaking of Gandalf-esque Carlisle, that reminds me. Did you like Edward's POV? Hate it? It _was_ needed, because I had tonnes of reviews saying how much Edward was a git. He isn't really poor thing, just very confused.**

**Hehe, I'll give an example:**

'Edward's being ANNOYING. I hate annoying Edward. When Edward's annoying he's not sexy anymore. He's just some annoying, irritable, aggravating, grumpy, unpleasant, stupid, idiotic, unthinking, brainless, thoughtless, unintelligent, dull-minded, rattlebrained, air-headed, dimwitted, imbecilic, moronic, cretinous, obtuse, foolish, unwise, reckless, absentminded, thoughtless, absurd, foolish, inept, nonsensical, illogical, preposterous, asinine, mentally defective vampire who doesn't deserve to be called a vampire.' **That was quoted from _Cappuccino C. Cullen's_** **fabulous review. You have to admit, she's quite the wit! (Quite the wit? … another hilarious phrase, there seems to be tonnes out there! Ah dear me :p)**

**OH, and don't worry about the absence of Bella… Edward's mind seems slightly less preoccupied about her here, eh? Rest assured that next chapter (… or maybe the chapter after that…) she'll be included. O.O I mean… what about dear Vicky? Dun dun dun…**

**Anyway. What did you think? Okay… the whole Ragnarök bit? Did that make any sense whatsoever? The information I put in is mainly true (as true as legends go) but I'm afraid the creepy chant they said was made **_**moi**_**, and the whole thing about consuming mortal blood (that was pretty creepy too…) was **_**also **_**made up by me :p**

**Oh dear, this just proves how atrocious my editing (or lack of thereof) is… did none of you notice this last chapter? Or were you all too polite?**

'(talk about how Alice cannot see Lucie's future clearly, because she's always dealing with the past. So long as Lucie has her gift, Alice's visions about her will be unclear.)

FRENCH!'

**hehe. I put that, it was my notes! See, I was making myself some tea and had to leave my laptop, and what with me having a premature short term memory and all… I forgot to delete it :P believe it or not, but the whole FRENCH bit was to remind me to revise….**

**Yeah. I did *cough* tonnes of that last night *cough* **

**So if that confuzzeled you then I'm sorry. It's been deleted now, don't thret. Forget I mentioned it in fact (why on earth am I _highlighting_ my errors? Stupid. me...)**

**Anyway. Thanks for anyone who offers to BETA for me and correct any silly typos and such, but seriously, it's too complicated. I'd never end up posting…. But hey… you people can live with my grammatical errors? Right? :s If they become to frequent though, don't hesitate to say: 'OMG. Your Writing SUCKS.' *sigh* I'll just wallow in misery for a while then eat some chocolate and feel better :P**

**And wow. Some reviewers say they actually don't hate me for my A/Ns? This is a surprise! I don't think I'll count on that to last though… I'm sure you'll get sick of me soon enough ;) Yeah. Sorry about the whole babbling thing... it's getting worse, isn't it?**

**Anyway. I have a request.**

**REVIEW! Please? It's seriously the ONLY thing that makes me write this story.**

**Lily- who wonders if the Easter Bunny was the one who stole her sanity…**


	26. The Darkness Consumes

**Heyyyyyss! **

**Okay, thank you all SO much for the reviews guys. I really appreciate ANY feedback :) You make my days with reviews, you truly do and THANKS for reading this far! (How on earth do you put up with me?! It'll remain a mystery I'm sure :p)**

***puts on an extremely serious face* I've decided that my babbling issue has in fact, got rather serious. Too much so in fact. And so, I shall **_**refrain **_**from babbling too much in this chapter. (don't doubt me yet… I WILL decrease it…)You heard me. I won't babble. I can hear the sighs of relief already… **

**I know. A shock eh? Maybe I'm ill…**

**Now this chapter was very hard to write… (I do think that's partly due to the fact that Mouse was sitting on my arms whilst I typed, that was annoying to say the least, and I now have an aching arm.. But what can I say? Seriously, my cats have this scary look that just makes me forgive them… creepy huh?) But yup, besides that **_**very **_**valid reason, I just don't like this chapter… not sure why… but hey. Tell me in the review if you liked it… Hated it… didn't even read it…want to kill me… you know, the usual :p**

**So yeah. I typed it **_**all **_**up last night. Extra fast, because of the REVIEWS! Thanks a lot. They're the only thing that makes me write.**

**Arrggghhs. I WOULD have updated faster, but I didn't. Curious as to why? Well, Mouse just caught a mouse (no, wait, I think it was a shrew actually) and has been chasing the rodent around in circles for ages around my room. I have spent the last HOUR trying to save that silly shrew's life. And it's rewarded me by cowering pathetically behind MY bookcase. *huff* So yup. There's my grand excuse for this chapter's lateness. A SHREW! (who is currently hiding. Stupid silly. Small mammal with pointed nose**: a small nocturnal animal that resembles a mouse but is an insectivore, with velvety fur, a long pointed snout, and small eyes and ears. Native to: found worldwide, except New Guinea, Australia, and New Zealand. **Yeah. Well this isn't New Zealand. It's my room. And there is an ungrateful shrew in it.)**

**Right. So I've moved on. No more talking about doors. **

**Now I'm muttering about shrews… **_**this just gets better and better…**_

**Okay. I **_**tried **_**to not babble. I REALLY DID…**

**I'm sorry you had to endure my rant about the shrew *glowers at bookcase* I'll let you read the chapter now… **

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

"Your dream Lucie," I wished he hadn't said that. Suddenly I found myself fighting the elusive memory desperate to impair my vision again. The darkness that threatened to pull me under. _Her _voice…

_Run._

"Yes?" My voice was barely audible, but he heard it. He lent closer still, are foreheads almost touching, I could practically feel the heat from my skin react against the miracle cool breath.

"Who was that woman? The one in the forest?"

I couldn't help it. I stared into his eyes, willing the intensity to give me strength. But when I replied, my voice was devoid of anything but that. I said the truth to him, wishing I could lie.

"My mother."

***

**The Darkness Consumes**.

I didn't know what to expect as I sat there, staring up at him, after just admitting the recognition I feared in my dreams. He took a long time to respond. I stopped myself, and I didn't look at him when waiting, because I felt the familiar stinging sensation behind my eyelids. I bit down on my full lower lip then, trying to prevent the tears that desperately want to course down my face. It was silly. I shouldn't want to cry every time I think of her, my mother. She was the one after all, who told me it was good to cry, warned me against bottling my emotions up. And I've not listened to her advice, just done the opposite. My emotions were like a coiled spring inside me, but I was too afraid to let them out. Too scared by the consequences that'll arise because of them.

And again her face, so beautiful - more so then mine I think, yet I knew she would disagree, thinking I was an angel - loomed before my eyes. I shut them tightly, as if in doing so her face would fade. But also because I don't want to cry. I don't want to feel weak. I couldn't feel weak now. I _couldn't_…

But then I felt it. Cool fingers were touching my face, and my breath left my lips in a small gust at the shock, at the precise moment I opened my eyes. Half expecting to see _her _kind face, the one I've been missing so much for two years.

I knew how close he was to me. Our foreheads almost touching. His breath still caressing my cheeks. They for once, were not flaring with red, drained from blood, they just felt cold. Cold and numb.

But the face that formed was not her. No, his was (despite my mother's beauty) far more entrancing. Captivating. I couldn't look away from him, his fingers still touching my skin, as if trying to undo the emotions I couldn't reveal. I shut my eyes again, unwilling to look into his. This wasn't helping. I could feel a spark inside me, and I mentally snatched it. Annoyance. Irritation towards him; for making me feel this way; for being so _intoxicating_…

If only I could hate him for doing this to me.

_If only…_

And the moment his voice reached me. Even though I knew he'd said the same thing twice, though I hadn't heard, I felt my resolve waver. It was only my determination that kept it from shattering. That kept me from succumbing to looking into his golden eyes (I know they're the colour of distant sunlight.)And revealing all that cannot _ever _be revealed.

"Lucie…" Edward whispered. I could feel him looking at me. But I didn't open my eyes. If his voice had this much effect on me, then the sight of him was too dangerous to even imagine.

_So why can't he leave my head?!_

I concentrated on her again, my mother, and almost as instantly wished I hadn't. The tears threatened to escape. I knew I wouldn't hold out much longer.

"Lucie. Look at me." He commanded.

And I did.

I opened my eyes wide, refusing to cry. Staring into his face. For a moment I just wanted to do that. Stare. And forget about her. Forget everything.

But it didn't work. He spoke again, and I could hear concern, thick, in his words.

"Why didn't you say something earlier? How many times has she come into your dreams? What happened Lucie? What-" But he stopped. I hated this. His questions. I wanted to run from the room then, I wanted to go home.

_I wanted my mother._

"Edward," My voice was quiet, pleading, but other than that, it lacked any emotion. "please, I want to go home."

He didn't say anything, seemingly understanding. Instead, I felt his cool arms around me, lifting me.

And reality hit me.

As then I realised what he was trying to do.

"What?! You're _not _carrying me. Put. Me. Down." My voice was angry now. But I wasn't going to give up. He swivelled me lithely round so I could see the smirk playing on his lips, amused by my anger. I scowled. I knew he was distracting me. And it was working, I hated to admit it. But I needed this, a distraction. _Anything_, even his arrogance (which was by the way, saying _a lot_) was better than thinking about her.

"No. You're sleepy." He said it like a statement, and his voice was soothing despite the smirk in it, relaxing like the waves, his eyes seemed bigger and I felt mine flicker with temptation…

Oh crud. No. The whole hypnotising thing-with-his-voice-and-eyes was not going to work on me. Not now. Not ever.

"I am _not _sleepy." He grinned arrogantly and if he wasn't a vampire I would have punched him. But the simple fact was that he was a vampire. And so punching him would only result in an injured hand for myself. A smirk from him, then sympathy from everyone. Attention. And probably a jolly old trip to Doctor Cullen, in which my swollen hand would be coated in plaster, and everyone would buy sharpies to sign it.

Right. That officially proves it. I think too much.

"Put me down." He didn't budge and I glared at him. "Now."

"You sure you'll be able to cope…" He asked, heavily accenting mock concern.

"I'm sure." I said through clenched teeth. I suddenly had the most peculiar vision of myself looking akin to the likes of a dragon. Green eyes blazing, nostrils flaring… I only needed the fire breath and scales.

He grinned, and swiftly he placed me on my feet. Too swiftly, I felt my self sway with dizziness and I realised this was exactly what he'd intended.

"Nope. That does it Lucie. I deem you unfit to walk. I must carry you."

I jabbed a finger hard against his stone chest.

"Don't. You. Dare." And I turned, stomping towards the door and then flinging it open. I have to say, it was an impressive exit, probably the best I'd ever done in my life. I smiled smugly.

And then the door slammed against me.

_Typical_.

***

My head still hurt as I got into his car. Normally I never complain about getting injured. Like I said, I don't like attention. But I couldn't help grumbling all the while Edward led me to his stupid Volvo, the satisfied stupid smirk never leaving his stupid perfect face. Yes. Stupid is a word I'm going to use to describe him more often. I mean, he could have _stopped that! _What was the point in having super speed as one of your vampire powers if you didn't use it?

"You sure your head's okay?" Edward asked, as I was glaring out the window. His was voice concerned again, this time there was no smirk in it. Like _that _improved my mood.

"I've got a bruise." I pointed out, seeing my reflection. I had indeed got a bruise, albeit small, on my forehead, a faint purplish colour against my pale face, matching the colour under my eyes. Though I hadn't got them from walking into a door…

Wait. I didn't walk into it. The door flew at me!

"I'm sorry." I heard Edward say quietly.

"You shouldn't be; it wasn't you who assaulted me," Wait. Why am I defending him? It was his fault! I hastily add to it. "No, forget I said that. You _should _be sorry." But when I looked at him he was just grinning, one perfect stupid eyebrow (note the emphasis on: stupid) arched.

"The door _assaulted _you?" He said in disbelief, attempting to smother his laughter. And failing

I said that? Ugh. Blood flushed my cheeks, but I could see the front of my drive and house.

I practically flung my door open as I stalked into the darkness, concealing the redness of my cheeks. He didn't follow. I doubt my father would have been chuffed to see me with a boy at this time of night. Come to think of it, I didn't know the time. But the sky above me was a mass of black, flecked with stars. How late was it?

I'd barely opened the door before I was knocked breathless.

"Lucie? Oh Jesus, you're safe. Thank _God_." I felt him wrap his arms around me. His embrace almost suffocating. But I wasn't comforted by his words. They were scaring me too much. He sounded so _distraught_.

I saw something then, opposite me was his easel, a painting was on there. I recognised his work instantly; my father was a brilliant artist. But what he'd drawn scared me beyond anything so far. It was a landscape, engulfed in darkness.

And it was horribly familiar.

The very same lattice of trees, the moss on the rocks, the swaying grass seemingly moving despite the fact that it was only a painting. The silver moon above it, casting a ribbon of eerie moonlight; the blood red sky; the dark figures in the background, indistinguishable from the night itself. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise.

_The meadow._

"D-dad?" I asked, my voice trembled. He took me gently by my hand into the sitting room and sat on the sofa, gesturing for me to join him. I did, crawling into his lap like I used to do when I was six. "What- why did you sound so _worried_?" I couldn't think about his picture. My head felt dizzy, and I could feel the darkness pulling. Tempting me to succumb to it. Experience the oblivion. Forget.

I don't, _won't, _give up. Staring at my father instead. Forcing myself to remain conscious.

He laughed. But the sound was cracked. It didn't fool me.

"Lucie sweetie, it's later than 11.00, way past curfew! You had your old man worried sick. Anyone would be worried with such a pretty girl like you out that late."

This wasn't my father. He'd never enforced a curfew on me, (though he'd never needed to. I rarely left the confinement of our house.) Neither had he ever called me pretty. Sure, he'd said I was an angel, beautiful even, but pretty? That wasn't him. I knew how much I was to him, after my mother had died; I was all he had left. Guilt suddenly gripped me and I felt sick with it.

"No dad," I whispered quietly, "you've never looked so worried before." It was true. I looked at him properly. If I had thought my sleep had been deprived, I was wrong. He had dark bruises under his skin, unnaturally pale. I'd inherited my fair skin from my mother, my father had never been this pale, almost translucent. He was underweight too, his arms felt brittle around me.

But it was his eyes that scared me most. He looked back at me with fear encrusted in their brown depth.

"Dad," It came out as a choke, "please, tell me. I hate this. What's wrong, why are you so scared. I can't stand it dad! Please, you have to say what's wrong…" He shook his head, closing his eyes, drawing away from me suddenly. I gripped his shirt, and I felt like I was seven again_. Confused and scared by the sound of thunder, and begging him to stay by me as I slept. _I blinked back tears again, my voice sounded more broken than ever as I whispered fiercely to him. "You have to tell me daddy." It was as if the sound of my childish name for him abruptly struck a cord. Suddenly he was holding me tightly again, stroking my hair and cradling me.

"I'm so sorry Lucie, I should have told you earlier. I don't believe it's happening… your mother deliberately insisted that I should keep you safe. I've failed her; you're in danger. We never should have left England, coming here, it was a mistake. I'm so sorry, if only we'd left when we had the chance… I _promised _her. I'd protect you. And it's happening… I-I should have-" But he cut himself off, looking at me with horror, as if only just realising he'd been talking. My voice shook with something close to hysteria.

"What's happening? What about mother? I'm in danger? Why? What's wrong? Do you know something?" I could barely choke out my questions; I repeated the one that scared me most. The one that kept arising the fear to his eyes. "What's happening?"

"An apocalypse." He whispered.

"What?" I couldn't control my voice from shaking any longer. It didn't stop just at my voice though, my whole body was shaking, terrified, half at what my father was saying, and half at the effect it was clearly having on him. He looked at me then, and suddenly it seemed to dawn on him what he'd said. His hands shook. And he stared at me, his brown eyes large and wide as if awaking from a chance.

"Jeez, I'm sorry Honey. I'm scaring you aren't I?" He laughed shakily, embracing me again.

And as much as I hated to admit it, I was grateful. Because _this _was my father, loving and caring. Cut up from the past, but still fighting. His eyes were still fearful but the desolation had left them somewhat. My questions for him all died in my throat. I couldn't see him like that again. And I knew my questions would do that to him. For now, I was content. His arms wrapped around me, murmuring soft things into my hair, despite the fact that I was no longer listening.

"I love you daddy." I whispered into his chest.

"So do I honey, so do I." He smiled at me, but the emotion was too raw, too desperate. Like he thought he wouldn't have enough time to prove it. I shook away the thought. My father was safe. _I _however_, _well, that was another matter entirely; but I wouldn't inform him of that. I caught something he was whispering against my hair again. "…_so damn much_."

I couldn't take it though. My head was suddenly blinded by pictures of my mother, and I had a terrible desire to tell him about her; confide the dreams I've been having with him; tell him about the Cullens; question him further.

But I couldn't do that.

I stood up, breaking our contact, half stumbling to the stairs. I had so many things I wanted to say to him at that moment. That I loved him; would always do so; that he meant the world to me; that I owed him so much.

But I could only say one thing before I rushed to my room, choking it out before the tears broke free.

"Goodnight dad."

And then I ran.

***

I could barely breathe when I reached my room. Collapsed onto the bed and drew my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms firmly around myself, still fighting the sensation of unconsciousness. Willing myself to fix this, to make sense of it all. A dry sob shook me. But no tears escaped. I held onto that fact. That I wasn't crying. It made me feel less pathetic.

I felt feverish, the numb sensation was still dominant, but it was as if I was on fire at the same time, merely oblivious to it. I probably had a temperature, it made no difference. Not when I could still see the look in his eyes, his words that scared me so much.

_An apocalypse. _The way he'd said those words was like he was in a trance, reciting rather than actually telling me what was going to happen. The words sounded forced, like ones learned for a play.

But this was no play. No, this was reality, hard and truthful.

And I felt sick with it.

Of course, I'd completely forgotten about Edward, which was why the immediate second he took my burning hand in his, I screamed. Flailing backwards and nearly falling off the bed. I thought for a moment that my father would come in, find out why I sounded so distressed. But I knew he wouldn't, not now. Edward just stood silently, watching my every expression. I didn't like him doing that. I knew I would give too much away.

"Lucie, your father-" But I cut him off. Deciding what I wanted to do. My head ached with so much information, with lack of sleep, and with horrible dreams. I couldn't take any more of this. I didn't want to remember. But the oblivion calling, the very one I knew that would engulf me in darkness, I didn't want that either. I just wanted a distraction…

And then I snapped my head up, realising the answer was right before my eyes.

When I spoke, my purpose wasn't as apparent in my voice as how it felt. Determination. It was like a tiny spark inside me that I would cherish. That and irritation. The two things that kept me sane. My voice was breathless when I spoke. Edward continued to look at me with concern.

"Please, just help me forget… I can't… I don't want to remember…" I didn't know what else to say. The sentence seemed to make less sense when I said it out loud. In my head it sounded fine. Edward continued to look at me and sighed.

"I would have done that anyway," He mused quietly, "there wasn't really a need to ask."

I frowned at this, but otherwise ignored it. Slowly, I sat in the centre of my bed; Edward leant against the wall, not looking at me, but out of the window. I kept my arms firmly secured around my knees. Edward cut the silence first, turning to face me. I quickly averted my eyes. Had I been staring at him?

His eyes suddenly raked over my figure then. I felt like I was being x-rayed.

"You should probably change." He muttered. And well, was there even any point on commenting what colour I was turning?

"Right."

I grabbed my cotton pyjamas hanging on off the side of my bed and went into the bathroom. For some reason, firmly locking the door behind me. I saw myself after I'd changed. The bruise stood out, a mauve colour against my white face - but my damp hair, just a dim gold against my blushing cheeks - covered it partially. My eyes were a brilliant shade of emerald green, annoyance practically radiated from them. I hated that. Why did my eyes have to give so much away? I didn't know what to make of my appearance, now swathed in cotton.

The pyjamas were a light cream, nearly exactly the same colour as my skin. They were old, I'd had them since I was fifteen, though admittedly I hadn't grown much since then, they were rather small. My hair was tangled from the rain, and my green eyes shone back at me, contrasting shockingly against my small face. I didn't have any freckles, despite the fairness of my skin and hair. Yet another oddity. Blonde hair with hazel eyes, pale skin with no freckles, skinny legs and arms. I was just odd all over.

_Not pretty at all. _I thought bitterly

That thought shocked me. What did it matter if I was pretty? I'd never cared for my appearance, worried about it. Let alone felt cross at it.

I furrowed my expression as I began to brush my teeth. I felt self conscious as I walked warily back to my bed, feeling Edward's gaze linger over me. But I stopped before I reached it, deciding against sitting down.

"How old are you?" He asked suddenly, from behind me, I frowned. Didn't he know?

"Err, Edward, we are in the same year…" I pointed out, turning to face him, but he didn't waver. "I'm seventeen." _Just like you… _but I didn't say the last part out loud. He wasn't seventeen, just eternally appeared so. Forever stuck in time, never changing, always the same. Seventeen forever. Was that something I wanted? To be immortal? To be agile graceful, for once not weak? I stopped my thoughts there though. There was no point fantasising about something like that. I would never become like him. He seemed to be thinking along the same lines as I, a shadow seemed to fall in front of his eyes.

"So young…" He whispered.

"I'm not that young," I argued, heat for some reason rising into my cheeks.

I struggled to find my voice. "I've experienced more than a lifetime's worth of memories because of my gift. I don't think I've missed much." _What made me say that? _Edward seemed to agree with my thoughts, he frowned, his mouth now a hard line.

"You don't want to be a monster." He whispered, but his voice sounded more broken then hard.

"Who said anyone was a monster?" I asked, afraid to say anymore.

"_I _am Lucie," His eyes darkened as he said it. "I'm a _vampire_," He spat out the word like poison. And my breath caught silently in my throat. "Your heart? Do you realise how tempting it is? How each beat makes me want to succumb to the thirst?" He was still opposite from me in the room, back placed against my wall. But he wasn't leaning anymore. I could see the tendons standing out in his coiled fists. But I could also see the lines of his abs, prominent from his till wet shirt. Again, I looked away. _Why on earth did that always seem to stop me thinking?_

I should have been scared by the words. I should be screaming. Rational emotions and actions. But I couldn't. He wasn't looking at me, staring down at his hands, disgusted, as if imagining blood on them. "I've killed before Lucie. I've drank human blood without a second thought. How is that not a monster?"

"It's how you survive." I whispered simply. My voice didn't tremble; it was the truth. I stepped closer to him. "And you don't choose that way. You drink animal blood Edward. I eat meat; I could have cooked lamb tonight." _Could have… if you hadn't had that conversation with your father, seen the fear in his eyes and subconsciously known that he's hiding something_. My thoughts were back, I opened my eyes wider as the urge to cry came again. But I fought that. Crying in front of Edward would not resolve anything. Crying never resolved anything. Just made you feel weak. I continued, but my voice was quiet. "Does that suddenly mean I'm a monster too?"

He laughed then, but the sound was chilling, devoid of any humour.

"Would you kill that lamb? Stop its life?" He whispered quietly, and I couldn't answer. "No. Thought not."

I looked at him them. I didn't like this.

So much for a great distraction.

He sighed, and then, in a movement too quick for my eyes to follow, he was next to me, before I could stop him. Gently, he pushed me back onto the bed and placed a hand on my wrist, where he could feel my erratic pulse. His touch just made it speed up. My breathing was sharp when his ice cold fingers moved from my wrist to my numb cheeks. His fingers twitched slightly at the heat, so different from the miracle cool of his own skin. Instead however, of the cold soothing my fever hot skin, it did the opposite. Fire erupted where our skin made contact, my breathing hiked. I tried to avoid looking into his eyes, but he angled my face so that couldn't look away. And if I was honest to myself; I didn't want to.

"I can feel your heartbeat." He whispered earnestly. Yeah. Well it _was _pretty hard not to at the moment. The sound deafened my ears. But when he continued his tone changed into bitterness "You'll never be a monster."

He furrowed his eyebrows together again, muttering to himself, though I couldn't make out the words, and then he went back to the casual look again. Stepping away from me. And leaving me breathless.

Why? Why when I was beginning to like him and not think of him as arrogant did he have to draw away like that?

_Because you _don't _like him, do you. Silly girl. You're meant to hate him. You _do _hate him._

It would be better to pretend that was the truth.

And so I did.

I glared at him, and his expression suddenly flickered from its angry mask he had before, seeping back into concern. I hated concern. My anger flared and I threw it at him with all the strength I had.

"You are not helping Edward."

"I know," He sighed, but I saw him step closer. Did he always do that? A strange dance in which he'd pace back and forwards again. He _had _done it rather a lot this evening. "I'm sorry."

_I'm sorry? _What? Was that how he planned to raise my mood? I'm sorry?

I glowered at him. Standing up abruptly. I _hated _sitting down when others were standing. It seemed hate was a dominating force at the moment. I wished I could solely fire it at him. He moved closer to me again, I parried the movement. Stepping back. But his strides were larger. Eventually though, I think he understood I was trying to get _away _from him.

He chuckled, this time genuinely. I raised my eyebrows. _This _was a big mood change. One minute he was all: _run Lucie, I'm a scary vampire you don't want to be a monster._ And now he was chuckling. So great. We were back to mood-swing-Eddie were we?

I can honestly say it irritated me.

"Bipolar much?" I muttered under my breath. But I knew he could hear it. He grinned suddenly, flashing a set of dazzling white teeth at me. Watching my expression all the while. It seemed an odd thing to do, smile at me like that, and then watching my expression. But pretty soon it clicked.

Right. So that's how he planned on distracting me was it? Dazzling me? No. That wasn't going to work. I glared at him again, suddenly very aware how close he'd moved. My heart began to race erratically. Great. Like _that _sounded normal. Honestly, I tried to be angry at him, and my stupid heart rate would work against me.

"Move Edward. I don't like you so close." I said crossly. _Lie_. He seemed to be able to tell, arching an eyebrow again.

"Really, your heart rate's heavily contradicting you."

I glared at him again. _Arrogance_. Arrogance and good looks. Definitely not a good combination.

But then I had a brainwave and so I looked down to the floor a small smile tugging the corners of my lips. If I didn't _look _at him, well, then his dazzling techniques would be pretty pathetic.

"Can't stand the sight of me?" he finally murmured. Crud. Was I that obvious I was trying not to look at him? He was about to undo my plan, I knew it.

"Hideous. It burns." I muttered sarcastically, I could feel him grinning, (since when can people _feel _grins?) but I still refused to give up. I stared at a crack in my wooden floor, wondering suddenly how it had it had come to be. I was sure I'd never seen it before. It was a large crack, running down a full length of wood. The sort you would find if great pressure had been exerted onto it.

Fear gripped me then. The familiar crawling sensation under my skin appeared. But I brushed it off. It was more likely to be an elephant than anything else.

I scowled again for no reason. Why on earth, when I ever tried to not think about the stupid perfect Edward (or in this case, a cracked floorboard), would _elephants _pop into my mind?! _Of all creatures-_

"What are you thinking?" Edward said quietly.

No. No, no, there was _no _way I was going to tell him I'd been thinking about elephants again.

"You." I lied. And then blushed straight after. I'd been trying not to think of him. Ugh. So much for my grand plan. Stupid Edward. Stupid elephants.

Suddenly though, reality reformed, I could see Edward in front of me (and grudgingly I realised I'd looked at him) but my mind was preoccupied by how _close_ he was now, to dwell on the matter. That thought had my pulse rise again, and then I was transfixed, unable to break eye contact. He was staring at my expression, trying to decipher my thoughts from it, unable to procure them from my mind.

"You truly are," He breathed quietly against me, his breath fanning across my face, which was suddenly engulfed in that terrible, intoxicating aroma. The skin there now felt like it was burning. I'd forgotten he'd said anything. My eyelids fluttered. I couldn't _think_, his voice sounded as though it was husky.

I felt like I was underwater then, all sound had ceased, and his words seemed distant in comparison to the thudding of my heart. The loudest thing in the room. Eventually his voice reached me; he only seemed to have whispered the words. "one mystery, after another." He drew back, and then there was suddenly a distance of two meters between us. I scowled, more at myself than him.

He sighed suddenly. I felt like doing so myself.

"Go to sleep Lucie." Ugh. Sorry, but _commands_? We're back to commands again? I crossed my arms over my chest suddenly. Glaring at him and resisting the urge to huff crossly. I decided against it, along with the urge to stamp my foot. That wasn't going to make me look any more mature.

I wanted to reply angrily, prove my anger was the winning emotion. But my voice lacked anything but that.

"I don't want to sleep." The truth left my lips in a whisper.

"Why?"

I stared at him, for some reason, afraid to admit the truth. _You've already given too much away_. My mind mocked me. _Now you're vulnerable. _But I ignored it then. So what if I was vulnerable? I'd been so all my life, that didn't drastically change anything back then. And it wouldn't do now. My legs, as if on cue, felt weak beneath me, unable to support my weight.

Edward was still staring at me, leaning against the wall on the other side of my room. A casual stance, proving his patience. But his eyes gave him away; their depth proved he was far from patient. He really wanted to know. Great.

I nearly blushed then, and tried to control it. With no such effect. Who can control a blush anyway? I had more than one reason for not wanting to sleep of course, his presence being a dominant one; it wasn't exactly making me feel very sleepy. On the contrary, I'd never felt so alert.

"Because when I sleep; I dream."

_Wow! There's logic for you…_

But instead of laughing at this, instead of smirking and brushing away the statement. Edward let out a gust of breath I knew he'd been holding.

"Okay." And silence fell; I went back to my bed and sat on it.

"Tell me about you Lucie,"

"What?" I asked, the sentence seemed to have blurted from his lips. He exhaled, and I knew he was thinking along the same lines.

"What happened in your past?"

I looked at him and sighed.

_If only I knew…_

***

The silence that had fallen was tolerable. I didn't mind silence; in fact I loved it, revelled in the amity. But tranquillity was a rare thing in my life, despite my normal solitude… Because the only silence I experienced nowadays was forever tarnished with fear. This silence was no exception.

I didn't like this silence. It was the opposite of tranquil. It was suffocating. I looked into Edward's eyes then. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care whether they stopped my thoughts, and whether my sentences became incoherent. I _wanted _that.

"Luciana…" Edward murmured, I wanted to protest. I hated the name Luciana. Trust me to get christened with it. But I didn't feel like protesting anymore. I felt like a child. Afraid and scared of the darkness that constantly seemed to consume my life. I vaguely remembered Edward holding me, in an act to stop me swaying. But he wasn't anymore. I was sitting cross legged on my bed, a blanket at my ankles, Edward looking at me. And that was all I was aware of.

"What's your favourite colour?" The question caught me off guard.

"What?"

"I think you heard me."

"I know," I muttered quietly. Confusion seeping into me again, settling along side the numbness. "but why do you want to know?"

He looked at me through his long lashes, and in the pale moonlight I could see how angular his cheek bones were, the line of his jaw, and the texture of his pale and ethereally incandescent skin.

"Because," He murmured softly, "Like I said: you're a mystery. And I think it's high time I figured you out." This shocked me. I hadn't expected that. He was trying to distract me, and I was perfectly willing for that. But I couldn't help but wonder whether he'd been wanting to ask me questions before now.

"I'll answer, but only if you do too." I said quietly, he just nodded, never breaking eye contact.

"Colour?" He prompted.

I didn't know what to say. What was my favourite colour? It didn't help when asking questions that I had to look at him. Everything seemed to have left my head. I noticed something then, he'd closed his eyes briefly for a second, and I could see the faint a bluish purple colour of his eyelids, a pastel violet.

"Amethyst." I blurted out. And then blushed promptly after that. He'd reopened his eyes, and again was staring at me too much. Too deeply trying to unearth why I had answered him like that. I broke his staring. It was not helping my pulse in the slightest. "Your turn."

"Emerald." He said, almost as quickly as I had, he scrunched up his eyebrows then and sighed. His expression was torn. "Emerald and blue. Sapphire blue." This surprised me; I liked blue myself, but not green.

"Pretty gems." I said smiling.

"Indeed." He whispered, still looking at me.

"Next question." I said. Wait. Why was I encouraging him to ask me more? I frowned. And he smiled; he'd caught up on that too.

"Favourite flower?" Jeeez. He liked his favourites didn't he?

"Orchids." I said smiling, they weren't strictly speaking my favourite, but I did like them. My mother used to place them in a vase with lilies. "Wait," I hastily added, "Orchids and Lilies. You?" He smiled, flashing the set of brilliantly white again.

"Bit more traditional myself." He said with a chuckle, I waited for his answer, "Roses." I nodded, though I wasn't sure quite why.

"Thing you want most?" He suddenly whispered, a new fervour underlying his words. I blanched at this. And he frowned at my expression. I would _not _tell him that. But there was no way out of it, I looked at him, and then inspiration hit. I fluttered my eyes slightly and let a yawn escape my mouth. Hoping he'd leave it at that.

He did, ruefully stepping away from my side. I didn't want that though.

"You're tired; you want to go to sleep."

"I disagree with the latter." I mumbled, admitting the truth. But then a wave of _actual _tiredness hit me. I could see the night sky outside, an indigo darkness. It was late, and I was suddenly reminded about how little sleep I'd been having. He moved closer again, wrapping the blanket around me like I was a child. I didn't protest though, my eyelids felt heavy all of a sudden. It was odd. Two minutes before I'd never felt more awake. Why was I so sleepy?

"Go to sleep Lucie." Edward murmured softly. I heard a sound outside, brass chuckling. Hang on, I knew that voice…

"You…" I tried to keep my eyes open but they kept fluttering shut again. The overwhelming urge to keep them shut kept washing over me. I felt dizzy with it. Only one person made me feel like this, it all clicked into place. "You…Jasper's… here…" He grinned, and muttered something too low for me to hear, though I caught the last part, I wanted to open my eyes, see Jasper at the window and confirm my suspicions. But I was so _sleepy_…

"…yeah, real subtle again,"

"I can't help it; her emotions are jumping like crazy Edward. Seriously, don't act so different all the time. She already thinks you've got bipolar disorder. I swear the girl's going to have a heart attack, you're driving her crazy, too good looking for you own good."

Hehe. This was a funny dream. Odd, the voice sounded just like Jasper...

"Don't be ridiculous Jasper." Hmmm… I _knew _it was him.

"Alice was right. You're so blind sometimes Edward."

"Alice _isn't _always right; she just thinks she is…"

Right, that settled it. This was definitely a dream. Edward sounded grumpy in it though.

"Alice is right Edward. You're just being to stubborn to believe it, I trust you don't need me anymore, she can't hear us at the moment, I think she's already asleep. Night."

"Yeah," Someone grumbled, but I could detect a confused edge to it. "night." Maybe that was something the dream had given me. Powers to detect things better in speech. I had to admit, even for my sort of dream, it was pretty rubbishy. Why couldn't I fly in this dream huh? And wait. Why couldn't I see in this dream?

"Edward?" I asked, not opening my eyes though. Even if I couldn't see, I was content. I'd keep them shut for just a bit longer, I wonder if this was one of those dreams in which I could make people do what I wanted… Ooh, the possibilities…

"Talk to me… in French." Why did I say it? I didn't like French, it made no sense to me with all its verbs and accents, and besides that… my words were slurring, I think I said _Frwench, _oh crud, I sounded drunk_._ Why was I sounding drunk? I didn't want to. And this was _my _dream…But he just chuckled again. And complied instantly to my random request.

"_Je pense à toi, le soleil couchant."_

I felt my eyelids flutter. I'd heard that before somewhere…

"_Chaque jour, une belle spectacle."_

I felt a soft sensation brush my forehead, a cold touch.

"_Illumination; une lumèrie éblouissante…" _

The words faded, and then my dreams merged and formed. Replacing the reality that I'd assumed was fake. I could hear a tune again a beautiful humming. And if I wasn't asleep before, I knew I would be soon, lulled by the soft music.

As I experienced oblivion once more.

And let the darkness consume.

***

"Edward, wait, you can't just _leave_-"

That was the sound I awoke to: the shrill voice, tainted with undeniable worry and fear. A high pitched peal of soprano, raising an octave with each sentence. "Wait Edward, we have to talk to Carlisle-" I knew that voice.

"No Alice," Yeah, so it was _Alice_. "I have to go _now_."

"Edward, no she's going to be okay, we don't even know if Victoria's got her, or if anything's happened, I'm just-"

"Why Alice? Why didn't you _see _this?"

And that was the point when I realised I should open my eyes.

They didn't seem to notice at first, both were at the window. Edward looked as if he was going to leap out of it in a second. His face was twisted in an expression of rage and horror. Alice had an arm on his, and I knew how much pressure she had to be exerting to make him stay put.

This was my room, I was on my bed, and the sky outside was dark, an indigo darkness. I didn't even know if I'd fallen asleep for long, was it night or day? Alice and Edward were staring at each other, seemingly oblivious to my awake, I could tell Edward was reading Alice's mind my head span when I tried to sit up though, I was desperate to make sense of the conversation. My eyes focused on the clock beside my bed.

_2.12 am _

Right. So it was morning, very _early _in the morning…

And then my mind processed one word of the heated argument they were having before. _Victoria_.

"See Edward? You can't just go off and search for her, we need to tell Carlisle, only Jasper and I know as yet, you can't-" But Edward cut across her, I'd never seen him so irate before, though when he spoke, all traces of anger were leached from his voice.

"She didn't come _back_…"

I'm sorry, but what the hell were they talking about?! I was just about to proclaim this rather significant point of mine when Alice finally noticed me.

"Oh god, Lucie…" She wrapped her arms around me lightly, setting me on my feet; I just stared at her in bemusement. Alice was looking at me with concern; I turned to Edward, and withheld a gasp at his expression.

"It's not she who's in danger Alice." His voice was inexplicitly hard.

The fear had gone now. He looked at me with _rage_.

"Edward," Alice scolded. "she's not _yet_, and we should-" But he wasn't listening. The moment Alice had let go of her arm he was half way through the window.

"I have to find her Alice, this is all my fault-" I thought he'd jumped then, (he had vanished from the window) until I heard the muffled growl below.

Wait. Growl?

I glared at Alice, expecting answers to my questions. The main one being: _what the hell was happening? _She seemed to sense my confusion as she frowned, whispering to me in a quick high voice.

"Bella didn't come back last night Lucie."

And then it all made sense.

Bella hadn't gone to the Cullen's last night, she's been with Jacob. He hadn't known about the Volturi. Edward's rage at me. He hadn't protected Bella and…

"Victoria…" I whispered Alice frowned at me.

"Same reaction as Edward," She muttered, "though you weren't quite so rude about it." I looked at were she was staring, outside there was little light, but I could see by our dim porch light. Jasper was talking to Edward, an arm on his, restraining him. He was standing still, but the stance didn't make sense when compared to how he'd been talking earlier.

"Alice…" I said warily, "if Bella didn't come back, then where?-" Edward's head snapped round at her name, he'd lost the calm stance, and before Jasper could restrain him further. Had vanished. Jasper sighed, it was only then did I realise that he'd been using his gift to calm Edward, but he'd lost focus, or Edward had heard…

Oh crud. I think I did that.

My hand flew to my mouth. "Oh Alice, I'm so sorry!" She just smiled ruefully at me shaking her head as Jasper climbed up to her, snaking an arm round her minuscule waist.

"Trust me Lucie; he wasn't going to stay much longer." I sighed. I didn't doubt that. She looked at me, and handed a bundle. I stared at it; my confusion was really frustrating at the moment. "Go get changed." she said softly. I did, and got changed quickly in the bathroom. Though I knew the only reason Alice had said that was so that she could speak to Jasper alone.

"Wh-what do we do?" I hated the fact that my voice shook. Despite myself, I felt tired; I couldn't have had more then an hours sleep. Jasper looked from me to Alice before speaking in a low voice, his eyes were a bright gold, he must have just hunted.

"We follow him."

***

I was only vaguely aware of getting into Alice's Porsche. And when I did I could only squeak my horror as I remembered.

"My Father…" Jasper's calm voice answered me.

"He's safe Lucie," I wasn't convinced, despite the fact I could feel calm lapping against me, I repelled it. I needed to _think _straight, I was about to protest when he whispered quietly to me: "I promise."

I didn't question the seriousness in Jasper's eyes or their profundity. And I suddenly felt selfish, worrying about my father when Bella was probably right now being tortured by a sadistic vampire…

Why? Why did my mind have to come up with things like that?

I sat quietly then. But inside my mind was screaming. I'd been stupid. Here I was now, part of me feeling like I wanted to demand answers from Jasper and Alice, to make sense of everything, and the other half craving missed sleep.

I could have made sense of things last night. I could have asked Edward to tell me why my father had been acting oddly, and what he was keeping secret from me. I could have and I _should _have. At least then I could have been slightly useful, now I felt worthless.

"Look Lucie, I'm sorry but you have to stay here." A voice broke me out of my reverie

"What?" I asked.

Somehow we were walking to the Cullens' door. What? Ugh. This seemed to be happening a lot recently, me not realising that we were walking. I turned to them though when we were at their door.

"Lucie," Alice murmured, her voice was kind but she sounded anxious. She wanted to find Edward, I knew that much. "please just wait here, Rosalie and Emmett are already searching for Edward, Jasper called them. But Esme will stay here and look after you." Her words were like a blow. Protection. That's what they thought I needed.

"No Alice," I said firmly. "I want to come with you." _I don't want to stay here. I don't want to be weak._

"No." Jasper said. I could feel my anger bubbling inside me, but I couldn't force it to surface with Jasper present. "Promise me you'll stay here Lucie." He said earnestly, but I couldn't agree to that. "Promise me you won't follow us."

And then I had a dilemma. Jasper had promised to keep my father safe…

"Fine." I let out, and before I could say anything else they were running, and soon engulfed by the darkness. I half expected Esme to magically appear and escort me inside. But she didn't.

Now the night seemed filled with possibilities again.

I don't know what possessed me in those next few moments. All I was aware of was that in the next instant I was at the brink of the forest. Sense was screaming at me to turn back. But I ignored it. _I wasn't breaking Jasper's promise_. I chanted to myself as I began to ran, _I am not following them._

The forest seemed very dark as I walked swiftly through the trees; it reminded me of my most recent nightmare. I shook off the thought, my anger spurring me forward. The Cullens could not keep me locked up. Bella was missing, and it was my fault.

I kept on pushing through the trees. The air was crisp and icy. I was only wearing the light shirt Alice had given me. It did nothing to protect my skin from the cold. But I was somehow oblivious to it. I just felt numb. Numbness replaced any irrational feelings that I should have been experiencing. The cold could not reach me, and this fact both made me grateful, and terrified me.

I hated numbness.

The sense of unease seemed to intensify the deeper I walked. My breathing was steady though, despite the rough terrain and how far I'd come, I wasn't tired because of exertion.

I could almost detect a rhythm to my footsteps as I walked. The ground beneath me was treacherous with roots and wet moss. Though I didn't stumble, the moment I thought of this, it struck me as odd. I'd never been a very graceful person, though not as clumsy as Bella.

_Bella_.

The sight of Edward, alight in rage came before me again, and I tried to banish it from my thoughts. Edward loved Bella. He was taking the blame for her absence; despite the fact he'd only tried to protect me. I had put her in danger. I was weak, in need of protection, and Edward had done that instead of looking after Bella.

_He regrets doing that._

I didn't argue or try to shut up my thoughts now. They were the truth. I cold still see the way Edward had turned to face me when Alice had been explaining. He'd evidently heard it before I had, being able to read Alice's mind.

Horror had been plain on his features. That much was certain Horror and regret. For a second I'd thought he'd not feel rueful about protecting me. But he did. He regretted it. And I knew his regret would turn to rage, the fire would ignite in his terrible gold eyes. He hated me.

As I did myself.

Dawn hadn't yet fallen over the horizon; there was no sunlight to lead me forward, just the faint moonlight ribbon. It was as if the beauty had been latched from the forest, instead of flowers and green only dark objects presented themselves to my touch. I should have been afraid of this; the darkness. But I didn't. One couldn't feel fear when they were numb.

Though eventually after what felt like an hour of walking, the trees loomed before me eerily, each casting ominous opaque shadows. Mist gripped to the lower branches, creating an effect close to the likes of a spider's web.

The thought chilled me. A spider's web.

And I was the fly.

Suddenly, the air seemed to thicken, the cold I'd been so oblivious to earlier was now hitting me like a thousand knives, each piercing my skin. I didn't shiver though. It was as if my body had frozen, and I couldn't move. Immobilised by fear. The thought of this had my heart beat erratically, as if preparing for an attack. I waited, my breathing stopped.

Silence.

That was all that answered me in this clearing. A terrible silence as the sun faded from the sky, leaving only the eternal night to hold me. I was stupid to have come. Stupid to have even thought anything would await me here but the meadow. But even as I watched, the light in the distance (emitted by the incandescent moon) seemed to fade. Nightfall. The time of day in which darkness falls and night begins. That's what this felt like. But it wasn't. I knew it would be little after 3am now. I didn't realise how dark it was at this time though, the thought chilled me.

I should have left then. I knew that. I should have been running from the place instead of being paralysed still. It was too much to be coincidence with the exact same feelings and emotions coursing through me. Like déjà vu but worse, more specific. More deadly.

And that was why I didn't leave.

I gasped as I relived my dream again.

_I couldn't see for all the darkness; couldn't hear for the blood pumping in my ears. Another tumult of fear shook me, horrified at the prospect of nothingness. But as I stood frozen, trapped by the eternal night, I realised I could finally hear, as well as see the ominous forest around me. The ink black trees stood out vividly against the blood read sky. _

_There was no one here. I felt the breath escape my lips in relief, before the dominant fear made them tremble, ceasing the translucent wisps of smoke. The sound; a voice saying something, unclear, unfocused, fading into the distance with each dwindling breath._

_I could see someone now, off in the distance, her hair whipping ferociously round her face._

_Her voice rang clearly through the trees; hauntingly familiar, I caught one word before I fell, letting the darkness seize me._

"Run._"_

I was shuddering when I reopened my eyes, staring straight ahead into the same exact spot of trees.

I wasn't running.

Because I wanted to see her. I wanted to prove my visions weren't just _dreams_; that despite everything I'd claimed, they were significant and I wanted my mother to come to me. I wanted her to tell me it was okay to cry. I wanted her to answer my questions. I wanted her. I'd always done as she'd asked, requested.

_Expect when she told you to run. _

I shut my thoughts off. If I ran, I wouldn't find her.

My every instinct was telling me that. To run. Each nerve screamed in protest as I stepped closer.

_I wasn't running._

The cold pierced my skin again, this time harder. Another gasp escaped my frozen lips. My mind was screaming, but the grass was swaying eerily, enticing, alluring. Drawing me forever closer. I felt like I was in another dream, each movement closer to the darker trees felt more and more familiar. The grass was tall, sweeping softly against my bare arms, like a soft caress.

"You should have wondered more about that crack in your floorboards."

It was a strange sound, like a twisted girlish laugh. A peal of high chimed bells slightly off key.

I turned round sharply, loosing my balance and grazing me knee against a rock. The voice had drifted from a different direction to the one I'd been facing. I saw red as I noted the rip in my trousers. Warm blood pulsing out of it. Matching the said frenzied tempo of the deafening pulse in my ears.

_I wasn't running._

But I didn't register the pain as I faced her.

_Run Lucie, run. _It wasn't my own mind who was begging.

My breathing hitched in my throat.

I was unable to scream.

"Hello Luciana."

_Run_. The voice was urgent.

But I knew it was too late.

***

**DUN DUN DUNNNN!**

**You know what… I think I'll leave you in suspense and not babble on to placate everyone :p *cackles evilly***

**Okay. Well… that might not exactly work knowing me. The babbling isn't intentional I swear, it just slips out…;) Oh dear… this chapter is long. Now I felt nice, I decided against splitting it into two (because otherwise there'll NEVER be any action :p) Though I probably should have split it into two… ah well. Do you people hate long chapters? Ahhh…**

**Oh, and speaking of said action, proclaim your exultation people! I think we've finally got some action on our way! I won't say who Lucie is currently staring at, with blood pulsing down her leg (honestly… the girl ought to be more careful eh?) but I think it's **_**pretty **_**obvious :p Now. I'm expecting unhappy reviews, am I right? Did you hate this chapter? :s SORRY. Next one is much better, I think ( I **_**hope**_**..) so don't go off thinking: 'ugh. I've just wasted five precious minutes of my life whilst reading this?! I shall never review again.' Ach. No. **_**Please **_**don't think that! **

**Okay, so why did Lucie go into the forest? First of all, she's seriously sleepy… and second, she was subconsciously hoping that she'd find her mother. I just want to make that clear, because I can practically feel people saying: 'why are you going into the forest?! STUPID GIRL! Vampires FEED there.' **

**Now. I hope you're all wondering where Bella is… *zips mouth shut* I bet this has discombobulated (a very special word. I advise you look it up :p) you… was it confuzzeling? Gah. Sorry if it was :s I told you, a hard chapter to write, and not one that I'm particularly proud of… but hey, I couldn't just **_**delete **_**it all…**

**Poor Lucie… she's not getting much sleep is she? Ha, I bet lots of people are going to go back to hating Edward again, am I right? There was FRENCH in there… if you understood what Edward said to Lucie, well… then I think you'd forgive him a bit ;)**

**Oh and by the way. I should, right this instant, be revsing mega hard, because… I haven't done so at all really. But no. I'm updating. So, if I fail the Chemistry & Physics test, I'll blame it on you :p Okay? And Ugh. Ugh, ugh. People were practically TORMENTING me about their City Of Glass Books (t'was unintentional I'm sure) .… Grrss.. I REALLY need that book. But alas, as you may (or probably just skipped it) have heard in a previous babble, my dad REFUSES to buy me any more books. And thus, won't buy one from Amazon for me. I offered to pay, but noooo… apparently I should invest my money for something useful.**

**USEFUL? Since when are books not useful?!**

**I'm officially going to shut up. Yeah, I ranted sorry, sorry, sorry. Just remember that if you thought the update was late. It was the SHREW's fault. Not mine. All Little Silly Shrewsie's :p (yush, that is officially the Shrew's new nickname Silly Shrewsie.) And once again… I'm babbling about something completely an utterly ridiculous.**

**Yeah. I've got a disease…**

**PLEASE review. That could cure it, I'll bet :p REVIEW pretty, pretty, pretty please? I'll give out a choice this chapter for those who review: either an Emmett, or… Jasper? So yup. You get one of those if you review, now you can't refuse.**

**REVIEW...and make me write more?**

**Lily- who has no idea where that shrew's gone now... Mouse is still staring at the bookcase...**


	27. The Silhouetted Sunrise

**HEYYYS! (-!WARNING!- Lengthy chapter and yup, you guessed it. BABBLE…)**

**Oh shoot. Excessively long chapter that probably should have been split in half again.. AND a stupidly long babble to go with it… Erm, enjoy! OH and before I forget, this is dedicated to an anon reviewer called **the mouse **simply because of the AMAZING name, and because I _did _update before her birthday, go me! :p**

**Ugh. Sorry.. Late update… don't hate me. One word: exams. Yuck. Anywho, onto the babble! Hurrah! ( hey o.o that reminds me of that awesome Noah's ark song: 'the animals went in two by two, hurrah, hurrah, the animals went in two by two hurrah, hurrah! *shuts up*… I sang that out loud.. Oops… I think I woke Mouse up. She, by the way, did not help the speed of this update **_**at all.) **_**OH, and speaking of Mouse. The shrew, (good old little Shrewise) **_**IT'S ALIVE! **_**Yup, I saved it's little furry but in the end. He (oh… or she… I'm sorry, I do not know how to identify a shrew's gender. And it's not something I thought closely about when holding the thing, ach.. Not **_**thing**_**, how rude of me. Small rodent! :p) came out from behind the bookcase eventually, and I put him (or her) in a nearby field, because I'm just lovely like that :p *snort* though no doubt Mouse will soon catch more… seriously, she's nearly as sadistic as the vamps that crop up in this chappy!**

**I don't know how I wrote this chapter. After I posted the last I just… deflated. I suddenly had this sort of epiphany when reading and realised that, in a nutshell (doesn't that sound oh-so-very-squirrel-esque?) I was RUBBISH at writing *all readers shake their heads in approval of this wise fact*… ;( yeah, a sad realisation huh? And then, I gloomily went to check if I had any hateful reviews confirming this suspicion of mine that I was **_**rubbish **_**(oh, I've been told that this is very English, saying 'rubbish'… is it? How about… **_**awful**_**, that less English? Not that I don't like being English… ugh, sometimes I don't even make sense to myself… I'll stop rambling about that particular word.) And suddenly I was elated! Seriously, I don't know what came over me; I had such nice LONG reviews and Oohh! I was very happy ;) so yeah, without you reviewers out there I would have literally stopped writing this, or thought heavily about doing so. And I no longer care if my writing is indeed rubbish, I've decided so long as some people review, I'll update ;)**

**To whoever has read this far, and reviewed. You rock my (currently stripy) socks! :p It's weird, how on earth reviews make me happy and TYPE faster (see? There is no logic in this world.) So yeah, reviews mean faster updates. Without them. I'd flop :p **

**Oh and I need to say, I seriously think that I get THE best reviews ever. I mean, other stories just have like a line saying 'update.' (I DO lovethose too!) But a massive thanks to everyone who takes their time to review - both anon and signed - and especially with such awesome long ones ;) You are FANTABULOUS! **

**Oh dear, I nearly died laughing reading some reviews, you know I asked if any people guessed who Lucie was staring at? A couple of reviewers said **_**Demetri**_**! Hehe. This wouldn't normally be funny… if it weren't for this quote from the previous chapter:**

'**It was a strange sound, like a twisted girlish laugh. A peal of high chimed bells slightly off key.' YUP. **_**Definitely **_**Demetri! (I'm sure the fictitious character would be thrilled to know that he sounded like a girl, awhs :p) Hehe. **

**Anyway, I figure I should actually let you read huh? **

**Here you go!**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

I turned round sharply, loosing my balance and grazing me knee against a rock. The voice had drifted from a different direction to the one I'd been facing. I saw red as I noted the rip in my trousers. Warm blood pulsing out of it. Matching the said frenzied tempo of the deafening pulse in my ears.

_I wasn__'t running._

But I didn't register the pain as I faced her.

_Run Lucie, run. _It wasn't my own mind who was begging.

My breathing hitched in my throat.

I was unable to scream.

"Hello Luciana."

_Run_. The voice was urgent.

But I knew it was too late.

***

**The Silhouetted Sunrise **

I stood paralysed with fear as I faced her. My breath still caught in my throat, as if someone was choking me. My mind was screaming profanities at me, and pain surged at my knee, I felt sick. I suffered in silence; I didn't want the vampire before me to sense my fear, or weakness. That would only things easier for _her_.

"Victoria." I whispered, she beamed in my recognition, her entire face lighting up in twisted joy. It was disturbing. She stood about two meters away, at the brink of the darker trees. Her hair was just like it had been in my dream, fire falling around her, lifting in despite of the fact the air was deadly still. The red framed her faced - a face that should have been beautiful, if it weren't for her expression. Childish and cherubic features lost as her dark red lip curled up in a sadistic smile. Suddenly changing her entire face, making her look bestial.

Mist was floating eerily around her, she wore an odd attire, a deep red top with black tight (what looked like leather) jeans, hugging her every curve, and making her look dangerous. I knew that was the look she'd been going for. _Alice wouldn't approve though. _No. I shouldn't think of Alice now. Why was I standing here? Why wasn't I moving? _Running_?

My panic must have been shown on my face, Victoria grinned wider.

"Funny, that you knew my name Luciana." She drawled in that same girlish voice, uncannily unlike her appearance. She moved closer then, a small agile cat like jump. A tiny movement, but I registered it, my eyes noticing the gap between us. I knew what I had to then.

_I had to keep her talking._

Very carefully, I let out a breath. Trying not to wince at the searing pain in my leg, the pain that had finally reached.

"Really," I mused, and to my delight (a delight that instantly evaporated when I realised who I was facing again) my voice didn't waver, didn't tremble and shake like how I was feeling. _Yet_. My mind thought, and I didn't doubt it. "I don't find that remotely amusing."

I didn't smile, and neither did she.

"I meant funny as in _strange_, girl," She said, her voice loosing some of its sweetness, sounding patronising. As if explaining to a child that one plus one equalled two. "And I meant strange," She said darkly. "Because I don't believe we've met…"

She was right. I didn't know her. But I did see Bella and Jasper's past. And I knew who she was. A sadistic cruel vampire who wanted revenge for James' death. A revenge she planned to commit by attacking Bella.

Hang on a second. If Victoria didn't have Bella…

A movement out the corner of my eye snapped me back to the present. I couldn't dwell on those matters now. First I had to figure out how the hell I was supposed to get away from Victoria.

"I don't believe we have," I said coolly, all the while marvelling at how I could sound so collected, when inside I was screaming for an escape, my eyes desperately trying to focus on her rather than the forest around us. "I would introduce myself, but, you already seem to know my name." It was risky. I shouldn't be speaking to her like this. She was a vampire, fuelled on revenge and thirsty, and here I was, a weak human with blood steadily staining my trousers, talking to her like I would with Mr Banner.

Now, Mr Banner seemed positively nice. And _that _was saying something.

But I did say it, for the simple reason that I had to keep her talking; I hoped she answered my unsaid question. Because I didn't want to answer hers.

She smiled again, but this time it was more like a sneer.

"I do know your name Luciana, or Lucie as they call you," She grinned with teeth like pearls, though I don't think pearls could ever be that _sharp, _like the incisors of a lioness. "A pretty name, for a pretty girl. Prettier than Bella were you? A nicer pet? Is that why the Cullens' have welcomed you so? Because of beauty?" I didn't answer, she looked at me, scrutinised me, all the while sneering. "Hardly." She scoffed.

She leered at me, her features were oddly catlike. With eyes glinting in the near darkness, penetrating me. Her movements were graceful and entrancing, but not like the Cullens', no hers were darker, deadlier. She was moving closer.

_No_.

"I've been watching you Lucie," She mused, stopping slightly and twirling the long grass through her white fingers. I noticed something against her ethereally pale skin though, dark red. _Nail varnish. _I thought_. It's just nail varnish_. "Such a _curious _human..." I tired not to look at her hands, but I couldn't. I felt sick, a tumult dizziness shook me.

It was blood, encrusted into her finger tips; they were long; like claws.

I didn't speak. I knew I should, it was my only chance of survival. But my voice seemed to die in my throat; I was fighting the urge to be sick. Her voice came out sharper when she next spoke.

"Did you know about James Lucie?" She asked, staring straight at me, her eyes a vivid crimson.

I didn't answer.

_Yes. I know all about James. Your mate, or to be more apt ex-mate. Your one love (if you are even capable to feel that emotion) who was killed by Edward when he had bitten Bella, with this act making you seek revenge. Primarily on Bella. I know James, despite the fact that I had never met him. And never will, and never would have intended to because, well, like you he was a sadistic vampire. And I'm a human. Sadistic vampires and humans don't tend to mix too well in my book._

Yes. It was definitely wise of me _not _to say that particular statement out loud.

She continued laughing coldly without humour, all the while having her eyes fixed on my expression. She made a quick sharp movement with her hand there was a snap, and the grass she had been twining through her fingers suddenly fell to the earth by her feet. I felt my eyes watch its fall, jealous of painless it looked. And subconsciously wondering if my death would be so easy.

I knew it wouldn't.

"He bit Bella," Victoria said quietly, I snapped my gaze back to hers. She'd moved closer. I couldn't get distracted again, each movement closer, my chances of escape diminished. My heart raced at this thought, and I willed it to quieten. There was no need for any more temptation.

I still couldn't speak, my leg felt numb beneath me, pins and needles were slowly surging through it. But if I alerted her attention to that, well, then I think she'd be moving faster. She carried on talking, and to my relief didn't seem to notice how I was leaning slightly on one side. And trying not to cry out in pain.

"She could have become immortal Lucie, beautiful like me." She pirouetted, her hair dancing around her, there was no denying her beauty. But it was twisted. Tainted, a beauty that was used to entice, lure her victims in. It sickened me. Suddenly she stopped her dance, the carefree stance had vanished, she looked like a lioness, ready to strike. "But she didn't. Edward sucked the venom clean, kept her human despite her requests, kept her fragile, kept her _weak_. So selfish of him." I just stared at her, shocked at the venom in her voice. Edward was not selfish, he was the exact opposite. A rage rose up inside me, and suddenly the pain in my leg was momentarily gone, a spark of adrenaline pumped fiercely through my veins. My voice shook when I spoke, but not with fear, with anger.

"Edward, is not selfish." I said darkly, Victoria mirrored my gaze, before throwing her head back and laughing.

"Protective," She purred, dancing a step closer, I held my body high, no longer slouching, though the sharp pain in my leg returned, I held in my wince. Her movements before me were supple; her hair would lift with the slightest moment, a fire in the darkness. I wanted to shake myself. _Focus_, my mind commanded. "Honestly Lucie, and here I was thinking that you could have been _intelligent_. You think he's innocent do you? He's killed before, though I doubt he'd share that, wouldn't want to frighten you would we now?" Her voice had slipped back into the baby coo, mocking and sickly sweet.

_She doesn't know anything_, I thought savagely, I knew Edward had killed and I didn't care. The fact was he didn't enjoy doing so; he loathed himself for it. But the vampire before me took _pleasure _in killing. I felt the nausea seize me again; the darkness swirled slightly, but bit down hard on my lip, forcing myself to concentrate.

"Bella fell for Edward, and I wanted _her_, I wanted Edward to feel the pain _I _felt. He should suffer like I did. Like I _am_." The words were escaping her ruby lips in a hiss. Her movements were sharper now, more precise. Soon she would be too close. My blood would soon be too tempting. She'd succumb to the first soon, wanting to play with me first. I knew she wanted a reaction, a scream, a plea.

I wasn't going to give her anything though.

"But now, there isn't _just _Bella is there?" She turned slowly to face me, having been staring at a fixed point in the distance. "She was my first preference. I searched her out, but the wolves intervened. Hideous creatures, protecting her. They've taken her onto Quileute grounds, and pack sizes have increased dramatically recently. I didn't bother trying to take her, no doubt there protection methods will slip eventually, I'll be there for that…" She was almost talking to her self now, not looking at me, but almost as soon as I thought this, she snapped her gaze back to mine, coking an eyebrow. "She seems to attract all sorts of admirers doesn't she? The dog boy Jason-"

"Jacob." I spat, interrupting her. She cocked her head to the side like an animal, her gaze penetrated me curiously; I regretted the sentence as soon as I'd uttered it. Slowly, her lip curled into another sneer.

"Yes Lucie, you _do _know a lot. Does that make you jealous? Her having both Jacob and Edward pining after her?"

"No." I said cautiously, it was the truth though, despite my hesitation. I'd never felt jealous of Bella, her situation wasn't fun, trapped between loving two people. It was torture.

"_Liar_," She purred again, though didn't argue, if I could keep her talking, I could figure out a plan to escape. "But as I said Lucie, Bella was my initial plan. The dogs ruined it of course, taking her away; their pack was larger than I'd anticipated you know. I can't get Bella…_yet_."

And then relief came. Beautiful, irrational, relief. Bella was safe. Jacob - and the pack - had taken her somewhere. She wasn't in danger, Victoria hadn't caught her. I felt like grinning in spite of the situation. Edward would find her, they'd realise she wasn't harmed, and he wouldn't feel guilty. Victoria didn't hurt her.

_She's got you instead. _

Suddenly I didn't feel like smiling any more.

"I was put out at this," Victoria continued, pouting slightly, and I felt fear trickle slowly through me. A fear that I'd been able to keep at bay for so long, that was now rooting me paralysed to the spot again. I felt my leg twinge painfully; I knew it was loosing blood. "I wanted Edward to suffer. But his loved one was safe, so I settled for the next best thing." She grinned at me, her crimson eyes blazed. "_You_."

"I don't know why you think that will make him suffer." My voice was only just calm now. It was far too fragile, I could practically hear how weak it sounded, how unsure. Victoria noticed it too, her lip pulled back in a broad smile.

"I didn't at first Lucie," She purred again, "but I became curious, the Cullens were with you a lot, I'vebeen watching. Edward seemed very protective of you, just like he was with Bella last time I met her. And as I watched, I realised there was something _special _about you." I couldn't say anything, I vaguely realised I'd stopped breathing again, but her words were hitting me thick and fast, I was horrified, but fore the way she was saying them: with glee. How much did she _know_? Her expression twisted again, transforming into a beatific grin, she looked like an angel momentarily.

Until you saw the crimson eyes, stained with blood, contrasting vividly against her fire hair

She was more like the devil.

"So you see Lucie, I was surprised to say the least when I found out you knew they were vampires. I'd assumed so, what with you staying so close to them and all, but it still came as shock. But Edward seemed to take an interest in you," The sneer was back now, "so you are in fact, the second best option for me."

She was moving closer, I forced myself to speak.

"I'm not special, what if I'm just what you said, just a pet." My voice was strained, rough and out of breath, I had to resist the searing pain, and the equally strong feeling to scream.

"Oh you're special alright Lucie, no, I don't think you're just a pet. Not with the way they treat you. But I'm still stumped. Why you? What makes _you _special? Plenty of beauties out there they could pick, but they choose _you_. So if it isn't beauty they want, is it charisma? Is that what you are Lucie, a charmer? Not intelligent," She grinned again, "because if you were intelligent you would have run by now."

"What makes you think they even want me?"

I _had _to keep her talking…

"I've been watching, Edward waits on you as he did with Bella, ready to save you from harms way," She was only a meter away now, her smile one of pure malice, "pity he's too late now." She lifted her head to the air and sniffed delicately, like a cat inspecting food. How ironic. "But your special Lucie, what do they keep saying? About you having a gift…"

My head hurt then and the fear seemed suffocating. She knew _too _much. I couldn't talk now, no matter how much I knew I had to, I couldn't. I felt like I was winded, all breath had left me. Victoria noticed this changed, and smiled in triumph, stepping ever closer.

"But I think I know what you're like. The innocent sort, noble, ready to face pain and hide it, I know that Lucie which is why-" She was a few feet away now. I had to speak.

"How do you know so much?" My voice shook.

"I already told you, I've been watching-"

"_Stalking _more like." I spat at her, I was interrupting her, and as stupid as it seemed, it worked. She stopped, not moving closer, but scowling at me. She'd expected me to by screaming at this point, or at least crying. And I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.

"Yes Lucie," She hissed, "and like I was saying, you are so _naïve_, if only you'd questioned that crack in your floor last night, if only you'd _thought _a bit more, instead of flirting with Edward Cullen." Her words scared me, but I couldn't let her know that. The crack in the floorboards filled my mind now. She'd been to my house; it was her who had caused it. I could see her jumping onto it lithely, only a room away from my father…

"I wasn't flirting." It was the only truthful thing I could say. Because I felt like kicking myself. Why hadn't I wondered more about that? Why hadn't I asked? Victoria sneered at me.

"Actually you're right. You weren't flirting with him, I was surprised at that…"

"You weren't there," My breathing was shallow, but it sounded like I was trying to reassure myself. "he would have smelt you."

"True Lucie, you're smarter than I gave you credit for. But the fact was that I _was _there. But he was too preoccupied by you Lucie, why is that? How did you grab his attention so? Not by your looks, surely. Tell me your gift." She ended it on a command, ever closer.

"I don't have one."

"_Liar_!" She cried out in rage.

Her eyes were frenzied now, and suddenly my leg throbbed. I couldn't help it; glancing to my side I saw a dark red stain on the side of my leg. Nausea consumed me and dizziness hit again. My vision swam before me slightly and I could only see red and black. I snapped my eyes back to Victoria though, praying that she hadn't been looking at me. But she was. Her eyes glinted maliciously and followed my own to the clotted blood encrusted in my jeans.

She stepped closer, a horribly sadistic smile on her face.

"So you won't tell me Lucie, your little gift that makes you special?" I didn't speak; she was close enough that I could smell her now. A sickly sweet aroma, heavily pollinated flowers and vanilla. I felt sick with it, and suddenly wanted to sneeze. "Well you will tell me." The baby coo was back, she blew in my ear softly, I couldn't move. "Because I know your weakness."

"I don't have one." I blurted out, the lie bubbling to my lips. I didn't care anymore. I knew I had weaknesses, too many to count. But I had to keep her talking; the walls were too close now. I knew I probably wouldn't escape alive. But I would die trying.

She smiled again, this time wider than ever before, revealing each perfectly chiseled tooth. "Oh but you do," She sang, twirling again, before stopping and smirking. Saying two words which shattered my resolve completely. "_Your father_."

I didn't react rationally. I wanted to punch her. But I settled with just shouting.

"No!" I could finally find my voice again; it shook with rage as I glared at her. My fear vanished and _I _stepped towards _her_. "Leave him _out _of this." She looked at me for a second, appraising me, her eyes raking her my frail figure, a smirk dancing on her blood stained lips.

Then she threw her head back, and cried out with a chilling laugh.

"Oooh, touchy are we? Finally, I get a reaction out of you Lucie," She was grinning manically her red hair twisted around her beautiful yet bestial face. And I knew I was giving the exact reaction she wanted. She wanted me to do this; infuriate her, letting myself give her the chance to make her angry and powerful. I knew I shouldn't do what she wanted me to do. But I couldn't help it. My blood pumped ferociously through me veins, refusing to quieten even in the presence of death.

"Leave. Him. _Alone_." I said through gritted teeth, though carefully retreating my steps slightly.

She didn't miss that.

Her crimson eyes zoned in on the minimal distance I had put between us, the distance that had almost caused me to cry out in pain, my leg still loosing blood.

"Trying to run away are we?" She purred darkly, swiftly stepping before me, a foot or so between us. I wasn't exactly sure of what to say next as I stared at her. Every nerve in my body taught like a live wire, desperate to run. But I couldn't. I knew it had been too late from the moment I'd seen her. Vampires were fast, _very _fast. I was a human, weak, prone to slip, and not to mention unable to make a decision as she stared at me through blood red eyes. My anger was vanishing fast and left me afraid. No, afraid wouldn't cover it. Terrified.

She wasn't smiling at me any more, though her expression was torn. Half in longing and desire, and half in annoyance. The effect was a sort of twisted grimace. Disturbing. I could tell exactly what she was thinking about.

My blood.

Her eyes lingered hungrily on the dark stain above my just above my left calf. I didn't follow her gaze, afraid I would feel dizzy. My heart was beating traitorously against my ribs, a live target, ever tempting. It seemed to sense its beats were numbered. She danced closer still, taking her blood stained fingers, and combing them through my limp hair. I froze.

"So… potent." She whispered coarsely. Leaning close to me, a grip on my arm like a steel trap, I was unable to squirm an inch away, her fingers were surely going to leave imprints on my skin. I wondered when I would break. I didn't dare to breathe. She grinned fully, flashing her set of pearl teeth, I saw the determination in her eyes, and I didn't doubt it.

I closed my own eyes, only wishing I wouldn't have to suffer long. That somehow, my father would remain safe; that Bella would not get harmed by Victoria; that Edward wouldn't want to kill for revenge. But otherwise my mind was blank; I had expected my life to flash before my eyes. It didn't. _How disappointing_. I reopened them; Victoria was still looking at me hungrily. Malice; revenge and bitterness shining through her evident thirst, I could tell she was arguing with herself, on whether to just succumb or make me suffer. I sincerely hoped she didn't choose the latter.

"Un goût amer, et pourtant si tentant." It was French. She was speaking French? My head was spinning, _what was it with vampires and stupid languages?!_

Eventually she sighed and her nails scratched my skin, I felt hot blood trickle down my arms were her nails cut through my flesh. I should scream; it was what she wanted. But I repressed it, I didn't want to be weak now, I'd coped so well. She hissed at my calm façade, only broken by my furious pulse; I felt sick, I was sure if she hadn't been half tearing my apart in holding me, I would have fallen by now. Her lip pulled back in a snarl, each tooth glinting in the dawn light, razor-sharp and lethal.

But then she stopped, the claw like nails digging into my skin were gone in a flurry of movement, I stumbled slightly, gripping a tree branch for support. Wondering why Victoria was now a meter away from me, her expression terrifying, her ruby eyes darting from me to someone in the dense thicket of trees, a lattice of black and green. She gave me one last, tortured look, and then vanished, just as a voice spoke.

"She is mine."

I couldn't suppress it anymore as he loomed out of the shadows, just like I had seen him do so many times before.

_It's happening._

It was just like my dream, the very same dream that would have me screaming each night in terror. I pursed my lips tight, unwilling to repeat that. Victoria moved further away from me, and my confusion mounted. Eventually she letout one piercing cry, and was soon shrouded by the darkness as she ran off into the trees. I looked back to him, his skin was odd, an olive complexion yet chalky pallor; a hard, lean and muscular build I had seen too many times before. Like all vampires; he was inexplicitly beautiful. Or so one would assume, until they saw his eyes.

They weren't like Victoria's ruby shade - blood red from her latest victim - they were darker, the irises were a shade of burgundy; pitch black at the pupils, and a deep crimson on the outer rings. They were worse though.

He was _thirstier_.

Adrenaline was suddenly coursing through my veins, making me tremble slightly. He continued to stare at me, not like Victoria had done, with her sadistic smile. No, his was worse, eyeing me carefully, his burgundy eyes casually raking over me, like the lazy paws of a cat.

And I stared back at him, somehow, without speech, everything was much more terrifying. I wanted to collapse from the regular intervals of pain that continued shooting up my leg, but didn't. My breathing had constricted again, His expression however, did not waver. He continued to look at my curiously, tilting his head slightly in inspection. He wasn't staring at the clotted blood around my calf however, he was staring at my arms.

I looked down at them, it felt like they'd been burned. They were chalk white, ribboned with blood.

I couldn't _breathe_. I felt like I was suffocating once more, drowning in the ever mounting fear. Victoria's words swimming around my head. _My father. _He was in danger now. And I could have prevented it, if I'd only asked Edward what he had been hiding, what he'd been thinking, then I might have been able to fix this. But as it was, I couldn't, and almost certainly never would.

A part of my mind. The more rational, sane side. Was screaming at me. It didn't really help when I ways trying to think of an escape plan, but it was better than the numb sensation. I was trapped again, half in fear, half in numbness. I didn't know which was worse anymore. I just knew that when they were combined, it felt like hell.

And then somehow, I don't entirely know how. I spoke.

"Hello Demetri."

***

He hadn't responded to my first words.

He had still stood there, with that eerie grace of a statue. Staring at me like I was an object he'd never encountered before, but one that he'd been dying to finally see. And claim.

Eventually he spoke, his voice was an flawless sound, but different from Edward's, polite and formal, but more rustic. And not to mention chilling. I felt he hairs on the nape of my neck rise, and sweat beaded on my upper lip.

"Ah, Lucie…" he crooned softly, "I've been simply _dying _to meet you…"

"Can't say the same myself." I replied dryly, attempting to hide my fear, he chuckled at that, yet it was an unnerving sound; like nails being drawn harshly across a backboard. I shuddered involuntarily.

"Do want to know what she said to Lucie in French, before running away?" Demetri suddenly asked, still at the mouth of the lattice of trees behind him. He wasn't moving closer, so why did I want to run more? He didn't wait for an answer. "She said '_a bitter taste, and yet so tempting_,' referring to your blood of course." His dark eyes gleamed in the darkness. I didn't speak. "Yet I think the opposite, I don't think your blood would taste bitter at all. _In realtà, credo, il tuo sangue è il più potente che io abbia mai encoutered Lucie, è quasi troppo difficile resistere…" _His words trailed off into a language that sounded like Italian at the end. The effect was chilling; too much fervour was in his words, too much _longing_. He made a raspy sound at my expression - which was, no doubt showing evident confusion - was it meant to be a laugh? I didn't think anyone could laugh with evident amusement and still look terrifying at the same time. I had been terribly mistaken. "Sorry Lucie, I tend to do that, I can translate if you'd like?" No. I didn't want that either. Hearing more creepy things would not help anything. I shook my head sharply and he nodded curtly, still formal.

"To tell you the truth; I was surprised to find her looking for you of all people. Victoria that is. I thought we were the only ones aware about you, though it seems her intention was different from our own." I kept noticing the plural in his words.

"The Volturi." I voiced my suspicions, He nodded, a smile curving the edges of his lips.

"Yes that's right. But as I said, she didn't want you for the reasons that we do. Which is good, it wouldn't be great if she found out… despite her loyalty, I think it would have been perceptible to change, though she'd want to join us I'm sure…" Demetri had a distant look in his eyes, he was rambling, I didn't object to that. Despite the fact I had no clue what he was reffering to. But he seemed to realise this too, his set his gaze upon me again, and I felt my skin crawl "I'm not certain Aro would accept though, he likes gifted people Lucie, like you…"

"I don't have a gift," I blurted out again. 'Gift' seemed to be the word of the night. _Or,_ I thought, glancing towards the purplish sky, _very early morning._

"Oh but you do." Demetri sang, in a perverse parody of a serenade. I was afraid to speak more, for fear my voice would shake. But I had to. It was my only hope.

"And she is gifted," I said, finding my voice and hating it's amplitude. "Victoria's power was self-preservation. She was able to keep herself alive by knowing safe places to go to…" I trailed off, regretting the words instantly. Demetri was nodding at me, a sly grin spreading across his features. It clicked then, why Victoria had run from Demetri was obvious. He was part of the Volturi, despite everything; I knew Victoria obeyed their rules, like all vampires. "And that's why you didn't follow her… because she's gone somewhere where you can't get her." I said my realisation out loud.

"You _do _know an awful lot Lucie." Demetri mused quietly, calmly, like we were discussing the weather. Instead of making light conversation before he killed me. "She does have a gift; I forgot, it's not that great. But you are terribly wrong about your last statement, what a disappointment." He clucked his tongue disapprovingly, I wanted to vomit. I just stared at him blankly, trying not to give much away in my expression, how _fearful _I was of him. Slowly, as he continued to stare at me, his expression shifted, a smile curling the corners of his lips.

"I didn't let her go because she would find somewhere safe. I stayed, because I intended to leave with what I set out to get." His smile was wide now. He danced closer and my breathing hitched again. I knew what he was about to say before he even said it. "You."

"I'm really not that special," I whispered, fear leaking steadily into each word.

"Oh but you _are_," He took a strand of my hair between his fingers, twisting it uncharacteristically gently, he was right next to me, "you are essential Lucie."

"The Ragnarök." I breathed. His eyes flashed at the words.

"And things like that Lucie," Demetri was frowning, twisting the pale strand of hair in-between his finger viciously, as if wanting to pull it from my scalp. "completely contradict your previous statement of not being special. No normal person would know what about the Ragnarök, and yet you say it, and I'm sure know the meaning behind it. Interesting indeed."

"I-I don't know." I stuttered quickly. Demetri's next words left his lips in a whisper. Deadly quiet.

"Don't lie Lucie; it's terribly impolite."

I felt light-headed, my breathing was ragged.

"Now, tell me, what does that mean to you?" His voice was as lethal as his teeth, shining brightly against the near darkness.

"The Twilight Of The Gods." I said trying to sound calm and failing. My voice shook.

"Good Lucie, very good. You're learning not to lie. And I assume you know why we need _you _specifically?" I didn't speak. He answered his own question, drawing out the words as if I was too stupid to understand. "Because you are the one we need. Your blood is essential to the ritual, if we have your blood, nothing can stop us."

"Who told you this?" I asked in disbelief.

"Aro of course." Demetri answered instantly, frowning again at my change in tone.

"And you think that killing me will result in world domination do you?" My voiced was laced with scepticism, I was grateful; it masked the horror. Demetri frowned for a moment before responding.

"No, but _sacrificing _you will." He grinned again, this time I saw his teeth, and they were worse than Victoria's, somehow sharper. I didn't speak. In any other situation, it would be comical. Sacrifice. _Right_. But not now. Not when Demetri was this close to me, boring his burgundy eyes into my own, alight in fear. Not with my blood pumping furiously. Not with the scratches on my bare arms from where Victoria had held me. And not with my leg, numb beneath me.

It was the exact opposite to comical.

"_Desiderio corrompe. Tentazione poteri. Tenebre consuma. Luce divora_." I didn't need a translation for that. The tone was significant enough to spark my memory. And for my terrible dreams to resurface.

"Desire corrupts, temptation powers. Darkness consumes, light devours." The chant left my lips as a whisper. I felt the forest sway slightly; my leg beneath me had stopped hurting. That couldn't be good. I couldn't feel it.

"Oh so true." Demetri whispered in my ear, sending multiple convulsions of fear through me, I felt sick with it.

"Why though?" I suddenly exclaimed, attempting to squirm away from him, but he grabbed me harshly to prevent even the slightest movement. "Why are you doing this? Why do you have to be so _sadistic_?!" It was stupid of me. My anger had flared and died in a matter of seconds, leaving me only with terror, as I saw something flash across his dark eyes.

He gripped my skin tighter. I bit down hard on my lip, resisting the urge to scream, and knowing if I survived, I was sure to have bruises. He traced one finger against the blood on my arms, bringing it softly to his lips.

"You taste simply divine." He laughed darkly, I was surprised he could control his thirst. His eyes were darker than Victoria's. But I knew he wanted me; that was the reason for not sucking out my life. Because _they _needed my blood.

_And consumed her mortal blood. _Edward's words rang in my ears.

Surprisingly, I wasn't looking forward to that,

"You're lucky I came actually; I didn't expect Victoria to hold out much longer. She didn't kill you straight away, she never does. Always making her victims _suffer_." He grinned, "in fact, she's quite alike me in that sense." I stared at him, not bothering to hide my abhorrence.

"Then you're disgusting." I spat at him.

It was a mistake to do that.

Suddenly, He balled his hands into fists in my hair, jerking it sharply. The strand he'd been twisting broke off, leaving split ends in its place.

"You're description earlier was more apt. I tend to go with sadistic." He pulled tighter, I bit my lip hard again, the pain mounted each moment. "Scream, Lucie." He growled into my ear, commanding. I wanted to throw myself at him at the sound of his voice, despite the fact that this was physically impossible. I to hurt him and I wanted to run at the same time. Neither would work, thought the first would probably be more satisfying if I was strong enough to do so.

Which, incidentally, I was definitely not.

I glared at him, determination swelling inside me.

"_Never_." I vowed. The smile slipped from his face, it twisted into a snarl. He composed this quickly though, stepping away slightly, murmuring something I wasn't sure I was supposed to hear.

"You will though; they always do." _Not me_. I added silently. I wouldn't be weak. I glared at him. Wanting to punch him almost as much as I wanted to break Mike's nose. More so even. I was about to shout at him, do anything to prove I wasn't what he assumed. Not just a fragile human, not something that could be disposed of. Not _weak_.

But then, with horror, I realised what was happening.

Black spots burst in my vision, I felt myself convulse and shake violently.

And everything went black.

As I relived Demetri's past.

_I was a young boy my hair fell to my chin in soft ringlets. Fear was gripping me for some reason, it was the same time again. I knew what would happen in a few moments, I was terrified to face up to him again. I could see my reflection in the grubby window opposite, jet black hair framing supple olive skin, high cheekbones with prominent dark patches across them._

_Bruises._

_My back was pressed flat against the wall. I always had to stand like this, if I disobeyed it would be worse, I knew that. My face was an emotionless mask I'd been practicing recently, if I reacted to him it would be worse. He liked my cries and screams, but not my anger. He'd hurt me more if I showed the anger boiling inside me. So the emotionless mask was essential, just another part of the façade. _

I could smell the stench, his breath was tainted with death, I struggled to awake, but failed.

_And he opened the door then, the man I most despised in the entire world._

_My father._

_He was strolling towards me with the same expression he always held; only for my eyes. He didn't look like me. Years of madness had turned him bitter, his hair was unkempt and grey unlike my fine black hair, the same hair my mother would describe as silk. I missed her: my mother. I missed her soft lullabies that sent me to sleep, I missed her warm touch as she hugged me, I missed her cooking. And most of all, I missed how she used to make my father treat me. Like I was actually a human, like I actually had feelings. But now, as I stared at my father, my memories turned to dust and ashes just like the furniture in this that had suffered from the fire._

_My father had murdered my mother._

_He was grinning now. That same sadistic smirk he would always use when he did this to me. I didn't smile. I forced on the emotionless mask harder as he approached towards me, and as the floorboards creaked beneath his weight. It was my birthday today; I was officially in double figures at ten years old. And now I was about to get my present. _

No. I was Lucie. Demetri was inches away from me. Inches away from the blood that stained my arms and leg. So close to succumbing to the temptation, and I wasn't fighting. I wasn't talking. I had to wake up… I _had _to…

_My father's grin widened at the prospect of what he was about to do, but I just continued to stare at him, never breaking eye contact, my own mouth a grim line. _

_And then he slammed his fist into my gut, again and again. I numbly felt the tumult of pain that hit me. But it had dulled over the weeks. I was used to this. And yet each time it was agony, I hadn't wanted to collapse today. I thought I could have stood up to him. But I saw rather than felt, myself hit the wooden floor. Choking out the same two words I screamed in my mind each night._

"_Why father?"_

_He looked at me through hooded lids before crossing the room again. _

"_You know why son." And with that he slammed the door, and left me to cry._

_The scene dissolved, I was older now. Lean and muscular, exhilarated from running away from my father, and ready to meet the one who was whispered about. The legends that kept rising to my ears, fuelling me with a goal._

_The cold ones._

"_I want to become like you." I said to him. Now, I was facing a man, his eyes a dull crimson, misted from blindness._

"_And why should I grant your wish, Demetri?" I growled. I hadn't even anticipated rejection. But I knew what to say, I'd watched Aro and the rest of them. The strong ones. I knew what he liked in people, the qualities he beseeched. _

"_Because," I said carefully, "I'm useful to you, I can find people easily. I can track them." Aro's face lightened up at this, so I continued "I want to be immortal and strong. I want to be powerful and serve you. And more than anything, _I _want to be the one making people feel fear. I want to hear their screams as I kill them, and I want to know that _I _caused that." Aro continued to stare at me, he was smiling. _

"_Well then Demetri," He said jovially, moving towards me with impossible grace, "Welcome to the family."_

_And then he bit me. And the fire erupted everywhere._

More colours flashed at me, black, red, heat surged, and fell. But then there was also the touch on my face, Demetri's voice mocking me. I could feel his clammy hands touching my face, I wanted to rip them off, I wanted… I needed to see him. To stop this. Pain in reality was still present, but the memories were too much. I felt myself fall once more into the darkness…

_Sunrise broke over the horizon, as dawn fell. I received no comfort from the light though, because where I stood all seemed dark, an eternal night in which I would have to accept what I was. A silhouetted sunrise. One that would permanently be shadowed by terror and loathing. I reached out to take Heidi's hand. And smiled calmly. Yes, I was a monster, I'd accepted that. I would revel in it. Enjoy the killing like she was, with dark mahogany hair spilling down to her hips, and violet eyes, blue contact lenses masking the vivid ruby irises. I had to face away the past, no matter how dark, it would fade. It had to fade. The colours flew again, grey and dark, cloaks preventing being seen. More disguises, more facades. _

_Aro with a woman, her blonde hair whipping around her terrified expression in the breeze, a human. Aro was smiling darkly, whispering in her ear, I smiled as her horror increased, her hands fluttering to her stomach.._

I gasped. I knew her. I knew who she was…

_We were underground, and I was facing Aro now, he was grinning. I would serve him well. A good member of the Volturi guard. The elite. The best tracker._

"_You must bring her here Demetri."_

"_I shall master." Yes, I would find he girl, it shouldn't be hard. The Cullens were in Forks, but she would not be with them, that was the girl Bella. I grinned then, remembering her when she'd been here last, her brown eyes wide in horror. I loved horror. A pretty girl; I think I'd made an impression actually. I had been rather polite, uncharacteristic of me in the extreme. She would make a good immortal, if they let her become one. If not… I grinned wider._

No. I was Lucie. I did not want Bella dead. And speaking of dead, I would be so very soon if I didn't wake up. I tried to force my eyes open. I'd had enough. Demetri's past threatened to overcome be again but I fought it, not wanting to be consumed by his memories again. Suddenly, a clammy hand was cupping my face, tracing along my cheek…Just like it had done so before in my dreams, a twisted parody of a caress, and blood would follow where he traced his fingers. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see. I couldn't scream.

It was exactly like my dream.

_And then my mind was filled with darkness again. I was running, so fast and powerful, bounding forward with each step, I didn't want to stop; it was exhilarating. The trees blurred as I ran, wind whipping few strands of dark hair free from my face. I didn't need to rest. Power. That's what I could feel with each leap. Rain was falling rapidly, matching the increasing tempo of my feet hitting the damp earth. I was closer now. My goal in sight. Soon the mortal girl would be captured. It would be easy, she had a father left, he could suffer first in order to get to her. Threats never hurt anyone, unless they were ignored._

The thought of my father, albeit through Demetri's mind, sparked something into me. The way he'd thought about him, like bait to lure, sickened me further. If I didn't act, I wouldn't be the only one dead. I recognised the emotion pounding through me, the one that gave me strength to pull away from the vision. Rage.

_But then the darkness reformed and pulled me again, I slipped back into Demetri's memories, hearing Victoria near by, listening to them, intervening before her blood was spilled. _

But at the same time. I could feel Demetri's breath on my cheeks. And somehow, I knew that was reality. I had to stop this, I could hear him murmuring something, felt his hands trace along the cuts Victoria had made on my skin. And that was it.

"_Enough_!" I shouted, and suddenly the vision stopped. I broke free, and was back in the clearing, staring into Demetri's shocked face, anger shaking me. I felt a jolt of adrenaline pump through me. I'd never been able to escape someone's past. I'd never had control over it. It was a stupid emotion to feel, but this tiny factor provided me with a glimmer of hope. I was no longer afraid.

But then I felt sick again. Rage pumped the blood faster through my veins. Demetri, he had known my mother, I'd _seen _her threw his memories. He planned to kill my father. And I wasn't going to let that happen. I could still feel his skin, ice cold. Not like Edward's, it was the opposite of soothing, and the ardent fire was nonexistent. It was _clammy_, overbearing. And I didn't like it one bit. "Get _off _me!" I screamed, shoving at him away in utter repulsion to no effect. Demetri didn't move, he smiled slowly, a disgusting twisted smile.

"I knew I'd get you to scream." He mused darkly. Fear threatened to consume me again, but I fought it. Yes, I'd screamed. But not in fear. Not because of his commands. But because of utter hatred towards him. I hadn't collapsed yet, despite the over mounting temptation to lapse into unconsciousness and faint; forget about the terror. The pain in my leg throbbed, but instead of nauseating me, it seemed to intensify clarity. My every sense had improved. I stared at Demetri, his entire frame pressing into me hard so I couldn't move away, as he stared at me. And not one ounce of fear was prominent in my eyes. I made sure of that.

I would _not _be weak.

"You," My voice washed away any traces of a calm composure as it shook. "knew my mother."

"Why yes I did."

"How?" It was a demand. Not a question. I needed to know. I needed to understand. Why had she been in my dreams? What had really happened? What had she known? She'd met Aro before…

Demetri noticed this, and smiled further, his teeth only inches from my face.

"Now, that would be telling, wouldn't it?" He chuckled at my expression. It was a horrid sound. I despised it. "And besides," He added, "you're not being terribly polite Lucie, honestly, first lies, and now this? We haven't gotten off to a very good start."

"No. We haven't." I said, refusing to feel fear still, but knowing without the tree behind me I would have fallen. He growled disapprovingly at my words, devoid of the terror he revelled in making people feel. I _should _have felt fear. He was pressing me into the rough bark

Of the tree, but I was oblivious to the pain. He was taller then me by far, a lean and tall frame, my face was at the same height as his chest. I had to look up to him, and I knew that's what he wanted. For me to look up; to beg; to scream.

For some reason, my senses seemed to have sharpened. The pain only fuelling my anger as apposed to diminishing it. Before everything had been hazy. Even my encounter Victoria had felt less substantial than reality, too similar to dreams then fact. But now, I knew everything was real. And I didn't feel afraid, because I knew Demetri's weakness. I'd seen his past, felt his emotions, and I knew what made him feel fear.

"You were abused," I whispered, Demetri's expression contorted suddenly, and I could see the boy again. Afraid and scared. I almost pitied him. Almost.

But he didn't brush off the comment, I took my chance and kept talking.

"Your father, he used to hit you…" My lip was trembling. Reliving Demetri's past had not been pleasant "you used to wonder why he hated you… you just wanted him to love you, I-I saw it. You hated that you loved him, but he only hated you, it tore you apart-"

"_Stop_!" He growled, unable to mask the agony in the single word, as I knew the memories were now consuming him as they had done so with me.

He was silent again, I had found his weakness, I tried to press it further, tried to pluck up the courage to speak again.

But the problem was. He knew my weaknesses too.

And with two words; the fear came rushing back.

"_Your _father," He breathed against me, smiling as my heart rate increased, the agony before vanished completely from the emotionless mask now planted on his face. "I can hurt him Lucie, and I _will _hurt him if you don't cooperate." My words died in my throat, I felt like I was choking, it took a second to realise that he was grabbing my throat. My eyes widened, and he relinquished his grip, letting me gasp feverishly for the air I didn't know I'd been deprived of. "Your father Lucie, he has your blood. I could quite easily take his instead of yours. Of course, I don't assume it would do anything, but there's no harm in trying, is there?"

"_No_," I croaked, "_Leave _him." but now my cry of rage was quieter; it sounded more like a sob. Yes. Demetri knew my weakness. Or at least, he knew _one _of them. I could only pray that he wouldn't work out the rest. Because if he did, I would crumple. I would fall like the grass had done from Victoria's palm.

And yet I knew my fall would be far more painful.

"Do you wonder why you have such strange dreams?" Demetri didn't respond to my feeble pleas. He continued speaking roughly, grabbing more of my hair, and fisting it in his palm, ready to pull more out again. "Why each seems so real? You inherited that from your father. Your actual gift allowing you to see people's past is different. Aro knows all about that one. But you've got dreams to deal with too, haven't you? I've seen you writhe in sleep before, quite entertain, I must admit. That isn't a gift Lucie, it's a curse. Did you know that humans spend about six years of their life dreaming? How terrible to havethose dreams constantly mixed with fear, you can blame your father for that. I might as well give you a lecture on the subject." He mused with the air of being slightly bored by the situation.

"I don't blame my father for anything." I whispered.

"Well you should. Low blood sugar, or hypoglycaemia, is the cause of your vivid dreams. This," He looked pointedly at me, "can be inherited, or due to lack of food. In your case, I assume it's both, though I think you already know that." he was right. The horrible feeling was sinking into me. All those looks my father had been giving me. The picture he'd drawn of the meadow, and exact replica of my dream. The constant tiredness, the shadows under his eyes…

_How could I have been so stupid?! _My horror must have been apparent, because Demetri was smiling again, he continued, though I was barely listening now.

"When the brain senses that glucose levels are low, it will do strange things to get stored glucose into the blood stream. One way it does so is through adrenaline spurts. That's what you experience Lucie, just with more significance. I wonder if I've ever paid a visit in these dreams…"

My expression was all it took for him to know the answer.

I felt like I was going to faint. Properly this time. The darkness was pulling. The pain in my leg was cutting into me, I wanted to forget, I didn't want to think anymore, I just wanted pace. Slowly, I rested my eyes.

And then snapped them back open.

Demetri had been watching the entire process, with twisted fascination on his face.

"They're not dreams," I said when I'd found my voice, "not when you're in them. Then they're nightmares." I muttered bitterly. He glowered at that. But stopped abruptly, swilling round to look in the distance. I saw the rising sun faintly above us, casting glimmers of light throw the canopy under which we were standing. But Demetri wasn't looking at the sky, his gaze lingered on a point in the distance, he swore loudly under his breath.

But then he grabbed me again, and the pain was agonising as his arms constricted me. Whispering in that horrible voice into my ear, sending involuntarily shivers or horror through me, his breath reeked of blood.

"I'll come back for you Luciana, your vampires are coming,"

_Edward was coming?_

"They fell for Victoria's little stunt, assuming she went for Bella. They're _all _coming, pathetic. But too many for me to fight. But don't think you're safe. I'll come back for you, never fear about that," He stroked my face and my head swam, his stench made me sick, it was unbearable. My leg wasn't the only numb thing anymore, it was if my entire body had vanished, held upright only by Demetri's tight grip that I couldn't feel. The forest seed to be _swimming_. How odd…

"Oh, and if you're thinking about telling about our little talk and chat? Well don't. I really wouldn't recommend it. Trust me, if you do, you'll regret it. I'll make sure of that. And your father will pay…" Was it just me, or was the ground shaking? He carried on talking, his words somehow seemed scarier than ever, despite the constantly moving forest. "Don't ask them tp protect him, because sooner or later they'll slip and I assure you that I will promise to hurt him if you breathe anything about our encounter. You shall say I merely stopped Victoria fro eating you." I shook my head. Hell, there was no way I was taking orders from him!

He scratched my arm them, and suddenly it wasn't numb anymore. I screamed shrilly as the crimson against white swam in my peripheral vision. Demetri laughed again, it rang through the trees.

"You will tell them that. Because _this_, is nothing compared to what daddy will feel. So you're going to say I practically saved you." He gripped me tighter, "Aren't you?"

"Y-yes." I stammered. I could suffer. But not my father. I drew the line right there.

"Good." He growled against the hollow of my throat, black spots erupted in my vision again, the pain in my arms and leg was overwhelming. Suddenly, his clammy hands were off me, I only vaguely remembered falling to the earth. Realising as I felt another wave of pain hit me when I collided with the hard ground.

Everything was going out of focus. But I could still see him, silhouetted against the rising sun, smirking at me at the edge of the trees. Whispering, something that I could somehow hear despite the distance.

"Oh and Lucie," I heard him call, before my eyes finally shut closed, and everything ceased. Two words reached me after a long silence, as I heard the whooshing sound of him disappearing into the depths of the forest.

"_Sweet dreams_."

***

**Edward's POV: (sorry… long enough already I know, but I **_**had **_**to end it like this :p)**

I didn't register the meadow as I ran to her. I forgot about Alice, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle and practically my entire family behind me. They didn't matter. Not now. Not when I could see her sprawled on the earth, smell fresh blood on the air. A potency that could only be associated with the girl who I'd left without making sure she was safe.

_Just like you did with Bella._

But this situation was different. Bella was unharmed, protected by the Quileutes, something for once, that I did not object to them doing, I'd met Sam - the leader of their pack - on the border, his mind had showed they only meant to protect her, and I didn't have time to contemplate that before Alice had found me. And had that horrible vision.

_Lucie, pale and fragile against the earth, her skin illuminated in the sunrise, and stained with blood. _

After that. We had ran.

And now I was here, next to her. As she lay there, so still, her breath barely leaving her rose lips, small puffs arose with each short gasps she took, the only sign I could tell she was receiving oxygen at all. I held her hand between my palms, hoping beyond all hope that she wasn't in pain - that she could feel me here, beside her, praying her to awake.

I saw her bare arms, illuminated by the faint rays of light shining through the trees, a pale alabaster ribboned in crimson, deep groves from where someone had gripped her. We could all smell the two scents on the air. Both chilled me.

Victoria _and _Demetri.

_How the hell was she alive?_

Frantically on instinct, I looked back to her; she was already cradled in my arms in one swift motion. The electricity sparked slightly when my skin touched her, though I did the opposite from twisting away, instead, pulling her closer. Crushing her into my chest, I let out a sigh of relief when I could hear her heart, still beating furiously beneath her pale skin. So different from my own. Cold and dead.

I looked back to the others, regarding me warily, each face alight in the same anxiety of my own. Emmett was searching the area, wondering if he should follow the most recent scent - Demetri's, but Carlisle was advising quietly not to. I didn't listen to either of their thoughts or words, they meant little to me. Esme looked terribly guilty, but I blocked out all her apologies and rueful thoughts too. I didn't blame her, nor the rest of them.

_Because it was all my fault._

I'd refrained from looking at her face for a while now. Alice was silent beside me, quietly reminding me that she was okay. But I couldn't help it, again I looked down to her, the beautiful angel suspended in my cold arms. Her heart beating softly against my granite skin, erratic and forever changing tempo, it worried me. I felt no need to succumb to thirst; the fear had eradicated any kind of monster lurking within me. I could only think about her, and pray that I - _we_, I'd have never got here without Alice's vision - had not been too late. Her skin was cold against mine, which only added to my fear, with her touch normally an electric heat under my own dead cold.

Her own skin was supple, it felt like satin, though I didn't want to look away from her face, or think about her attire. The attire I knew from that horrible potent - irresistible - smell, that was partially coated in blood. The monster inside me moaned, wanting to escape. But I stayed silent, unmoving, not breathing.

_Not human at all_.

But she was. The small girl in my arms; so slender for her age. I'd been surprised to hear she was seventeen, despite her intellect, she seemed so young. It pained me to realise how much she was hurting, suffering quietly, unwilling to recall her past. I had seen her father's mind, he hid things from her, yet I didn't blame him. He cared for her immensely, determined on keeping her safe, ignorant from the terrible knowledge he had to bear.

I willed her to awake, I couldn't move, not yet.

And as if on cue, her eyelids flickered.

And fluttered open.

"Am I dead?" She mumbled drearily, without opening her eyes fully, and I couldn't suppress the chuckle, the laugh of relief. She was safe, okay, _fine_. Her voice didn't portray the horror I'd been anticipating.

She opened one eye carefully, then the other, and finally both her eyes focused - on me - I watched them widen as she blinked a few times. I was surprised to see them as a beautiful emerald, though as soon as I thought this frowned. Because this meant she'd felt anger before I'd seen her. She noticed my change in expression, despite the fact she'd only just awoken. "What happened?" she gasped, and it was at that precise moment she registered that it was I who was suspending her, cradling her slender and fragile frame with ease. I could tell. Her heart began to beat faster, and her breathing hitched. That always confused me, though it happened frequently. I hoped it wasn't in fear. But what else _could _it be?

But she didn't protest or move away, just continued to stare at me, as if everything else had melted into the background, like it had done for me. It was wise of her not to move away, little did she know how unwilling I was to let go.

"If I'm to be correct," I mused softly, never leaving her gaze wide, curious, _beautiful_ eyes. "you single handily managed to get rid of both Victoria and Demetri in one shot; nearly got yourself killed in the process; shortly fainted from lack of blood that is still coursing down your leg and arms; and finally got to have the pleasure of me suspending you." I smiled crookedly, and for once she didn't scowl, her eyes did not alight in the lustrous emerald, the warm caramel overruling them. She just looked at me, refusing to avert her eyes, widening them still, resisting the waves of sleep and drowsiness that I could Jasper was sending at her. And in that instant, I silently prayed that God could allow me just one tiny insight on her mind. What on earth could she be thinking? Repulsion at my cold skin? Hidden annoyance? Fear? Confusion?

She didn't seem to show any of those.

Yet I still couldn't understand her expression. I thought it could be something akin to the likes of what I was feeling, but quickly discarded the thought, that was impossible.

And then she said something so softly - before crumpling back into my arms again, her eyelids finally fluttering shut with the temptation of rest Jasper kept emitting - that I was unsure if I had heard it correctly.

I caught the last two words, mumbled slightly, as the fallen angel fell asleep in my arms. Into a dreamless sleep. One to which sadly, I could not follow.

"…_Worth it_."

***

**Can I hear any awhs? :p I spent the ENTIRE day and last night writing this, and part of the next chapter people! (and I was VERY impateint to get it out tonight, sorry if it's flawed with typos :s) So be grateful and I am VERY sorry for the stupid length. Me and shortening things do not mix. I've gotten worse, haven't I? Ahh.. Anyway.. Please review… long chapters= long reviews maybe? I'd be VERY happy if **_**that **_**happened! *squeals in anticipation.* **

**I'm really sorry if I didn't reply to reviews last chapter, blame the horrind exams! I did read **_**each and every one**_** though, and boy did they make me smile!**

**NOTE: some people were slightly confuzzeled when it came to Lucie's age. She is in fact 17, but her mother died when she was 15. Hope that clears some stuff up :)**

**Oh, and like I said, I have a bit of the next chapter (where the whole Bella incident will be explained..) typed up. So if you review.. Then there is a large chance of a super speedy update! *gasp* Now, I think I'm going to babble a bit. (what a **_**shock**_**!)**

**So Demetri huh? I have one word to say: creepy. (don't you agree?!)**

**And… by the way, I just stubbed my toe rather badly on the door, in my rush to get back to updating with a fresh cup-of-tea. And OW… it hurts. Reviews could help though hint, hint* and wows…Oh dear. My my. I suddenly discovered something drastic…**

**Well, you know, in a previous babble of mine, I noticed that dear old Carlisle was showing uncanny similarities to _Gandalf_? You'll never guess who Edward is… okay, so last night I was just mulling over a past chapter (you know, like all sane people do, lying there and 'mull' to find lack of a better description, about their stories…:p) and I suddenly remembered that I used a phrase something along the lines of **_**'**Edward's smouldering, piercing eyes seemed to be x-raying me…'_**Now, does THAT sound familiar? No? No?!**

**Jeeez, Edward is **_**Dumbledore**_**… I don't believe it! All we need is for him to also sprout a beard (significantly longer than the one Carlisle needs to grow I think, and perhaps whiter too) and buy a packet of good old sherbet lemons. Then the transformation would be complete ;)**

**Ah dear. There's no point hiding anymore. Reading my silly babbles has finally culminated in the only rational explanation: I am crazy. *sigh* you'll still read my stories though won't you? Sanity isn't a necessity is it? IS IT?! :p**

**Anyway, I'm not expecting people to say: 'What a cracking great chapter!' Mainly because… well… **_**no one **_**says cracking anymore… *sigh* but I hoped you liked it anyway, and if you didn't (which is perfectly understandable, and probably due to the fact I wrote most of this last night at about midnight) don't hesitate to proclaim your hate. Just as long as you provide some constructive criticism, I won't set the almighty Mouse on you :P**

**SO in other words… if you just say: 'I HATE THIS!' Be afraid. Be very afraid… because in your sleep Mouse shall find you *laughs manically*…**

**Right. I'll stop with the whole **_**I'll-kill-you-through-my-cat **_**creepiness now. I'm worse than Demetri. Excuse that… it's been a long day. ;)**

**Alas, I shall resort back to that oh-so-depressing-mounting-pile-of-dreaded-work sitting beside me. Blech. (laptop demands I change that word to 'belch'…)Anyway, any chance you could save me from my morbid despair by the ultimate remedy of reviews? ( a tad melodramatic, aren't I? Morbid despair *snort*) Please? A big thanks to **_**every single reviewer! **_**I can't believe how many reviews this story has got. They mean so much to me, and are the only thing that motivates me to write! And WOWZERRS (hehe.. A great word there. I recommend it) we're close to 600 reviews. Do you want to know my ULTIMATE goal? To get 1000 reviews on this fic! Yeah… long way off. But I can dream, right? :P Thanks for everyone so far. You guys truly do rock my **_**still**_**-stripy (well I haven't just changed them, have I?) socks! :P**

**Lily- whose toe is throbbing sorely :(**


	28. The Art Of Delusion

**Heyyyssssssss (oooh… Snakey like greeting today huh?)**

**Oh poop. Poop. Poop. (did you know there are 5 different definitions behind the word poop? One being the raised area at the back of a ship. I won't state the others. :p) I've forgotten to add disclaimers on some… (Okay… **_**a**__**lot**_**) of my previous chapters. Now, this does **_**not **_**mean that I have suddenly begun thinking that I am Stephenie Meyer. I've just either forgotten, or got carried away when rambling on about something pointless :p **

**DISCLAIMER: No. I don't own Twilight. All characters, places and plots relating to the Twilight Saga belong to that darn lucky Stephenie Meyer. I am not Stephenie Meyer. If you think I am, then I advise you see a doctor, (**_**not **_**a fictitious vampiric one who goes by the name Carlisle…) and I'm sorry you've been under delusion for so long.**

**I'm REALLY sorry for the late update. I hate this chapter. *growls* I don't know why. I never do. I just hate it. Anyway, I'm really sorry for the late update, but in my defence… This chapter is long. Hope it was worth the wait! And on a brighter note, it's bank holiday weekend, so if by some miracle I get reviews quickly, then I'll update by Monday! Le gasp! So yup. Please review this chapter, even if you thought it was sucky like I did.**

**So I made a revelation. I was reading a fanfic just today, and in an A/N, someone commented on how they were sorry for how they'd babbled on. Yet, they only wrote 3 lines. I'm starting to get worried. So in this chapter, there is a significant decrease of babble. Instead, you've just got to read a freakishly long chapter. *Edit. There is babble. It just… came back at the end *sigh* sorry, sorry…***

**And review-wise. WOW. Is my opinion. WOW. 606 reviews? Thanks a whole herd of nelephants! (Yeah. The **_**n **_**in front of elephants is intentional. You can ask why. But it's a long story…) Now, I was astounded and flattered to see how many people cared for the welfare of my stubbed toe. I had over 3 reviewers mentioning it. In case you were wondering, my toe is back to full health, and is cooperating with the rest of my foot perfectly.**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

And in that instant, I silently prayed that God could allow me just one tiny insight on her mind. What on earth could she be thinking? Repulsion at my cold skin? Hidden annoyance? Fear? Confusion?

She didn't seem to show any of those.

Yet I still couldn't understand her expression. I thought it could be something akin to the likes of what I was feeling, but quickly discarded the thought, that was impossible.

And then she said something so softly - before crumpling back into my arms again, her eyelids finally fluttering shut with the temptation of rest Jasper kept emitting - that I was unsure if I had heard it correctly.

I caught the last two words, mumbled slightly, as the fallen angel fell asleep in my arms. Into a dreamless sleep. One to which sadly, I could not follow.

"…_Worth it_."

***

**The Art Of Delusion.**

**Lucie's POV:**

Relief. Overwhelming, all encompassing relief was what I was feeling as I awoke. Of course, my first emotion was the ever present fear at what I'd just endured. I could remember where I was almost instantly. The sheer amount of horror pumping through my veins made my heart sprint and head spin; anger increased my pulse too, a livid fury at what Demetri had been planning to do to my father. The anger; the fear; the horror, and now ultimate confusion. But it - all of the emotions combined - soon melted away as I realised where I was.

There was _that _smell, that same aroma of honey and flowers, irresistibly potent. I think wanted to drown in it, and found it odd that I could smell it so strongly. Yet it was not overpowering, not sickly despite its potency. I don't think I'd _ever _get sick of that scent. Slowly though, as I awoke, my brain placed what scent it was. _Whose _scent it was. And it made sense to why I felt so odd, like I was floating, suspended by two hard stone bars. Strange bars though, I kept getting electric shocks from them. And _then_, then I understood where the hell I was.

In Edward's arms.

There was only one rational explanation.

"Am I dead?" I mused out loud; my words slurred slightly from the twilight sleep I was still experiencing, not yet awake. Unsure if I was dead, dreaming, or really in his arms. I hoped it was the last; though any would be okay. As long as I was with him.

And it was then that the relief had hit. And my heart had sprinted faster, beating furiously when I was so close to him. Safe. I opened one eye cautiously, expecting a blinding white light, though none came. It was sunrise; light was peaking through the canopy of threes above me, though I didn't see much of that though. I just saw _him_.

And he was staring at me. Staring at me with the same amount of intensity I was staring at him. I didn't care at that moment; I let my emotions free. I didn't care that there were others around us. I didn't care that there was still a prominent ache in my leg. I could barely feel it, with Edward's cold arms suspending me, his cold touch soothing. But that flame wasn't gone. The ardent fire was still there, the same that made me want to flinch and grip him tighter at the same time. And it wasn't even dim like it used to be. It was burning so brightly that I could feel it in his touch practically burning me.

I could barely gasp out my words.

"What happened?"

I really didn't even care for the answer. It just seemed prudent to say something when I was staring at him like this. I could feel my eyelids flutter slightly in a battle against consciousness. And then it hit me. I mean, I did know where I was, but it was then that I felt the full impact. I was lying there, suspended by _him_. For once I didn't care to push away or protest, my heart pulsed furiously, and I sated into his topaz eyes, surprised to see him looking at me in the same way. As if he was trying to memorize my features, as I was doing to his. But His hair was swept back from running, and I couldn't help it when I stopped breathing. He _was _breathtaking.

"If I'm to be correct," He mused softly, refusing to avert my gaze, "you single handily managed to get rid of both Victoria and Demetri in one shot; nearly got yourself killed in the process; shortly fainted from lack of blood that is still coursing down your leg and arms; and finally got to have the pleasure of me suspending you." He smiled a crooked smile, and my breathing hitched again, my heart was thumping loudly, one hundred and eighty degrees from what it was like previously, beating in fear. But I thought about what he was saying. I thought about the truth of his words, I _had _fainted, though he didn't know the cause for that was seeing Demetri's past. I couldn't reveal that. And I suppose I _was _bleeding too, I my arms felt sore from where Demetri had gripped me. But still, it was the last statement that caught my attention. Despite everything, the result was this. Here. Safe. With Edward.

I had to tell him. I had to say _something _to prove my gratitude. Because _all _of that - the pain, horror and fear - was worth it. I'd do it again to be allowed to stay with the Cullens. I didn't think I ever wanted to leave. And I _didn't care _that I was in danger. I had to tell him, though as I parted my lips, trying to speak, I suddenly felt a wave of drowsiness hit.

_Jasper_. I could tell it was him, no one felt immensely tired when they were in Edward Cullen's arms. I wanted to growl at Jasper, but he wasn't in my line of slight to glare at. And there as no way I was going to avert my eyes from Edward. But still, I felt annoyance. Why was he trying to send me to sleep? I _really _didn't want to at the movement. I didn't want to miss another second. Humans wasted half there life to sleep. And now, with Edward, I'd never wanted to sleep less.

But my eyelids fluttered then against my will. It was like trying to stay awake though a really good film at night. Where you feel yourself flop slightly and know you're going to fall asleep. I widened them furiously. _I _was not_ going to go to sleep! _I decided just to stare at Edward. Willing him to keep me awake, if only he'd keep taking. The silence was worse for this. I almost felt bad for Jasper, it must have been pretty strenuous trying to send me to sleep like this, I was being very stubborn.

I suddenly had the most peculiar vision of Jasper glowering at me, his face glistening in sweat. It was only after a second that I realised vampires couldn't sweat and suddenly I wanted to huff. That was disappointing. It had been a funny sight as well.

But I wasn't going to feel sorry for Jasper. He had no _right _to make me feel tired. I was perfectly capable of being awake.

But I felt myself crumple again. I couldn't fight it anymore. I just knew I had to say something. I had to prove that all of the suffering _didn't matter. _I knew what I wanted to say: It was _all _worth it. But as my eyelids fluttered shut, the temptation of sleep hitting me with too much force. I could only mumble the words. Half unsure to whether I wanted Edward to hear them.

"…_Worth it._"

And it was.

***

I was trying to open my eyes. I could feel voices above me, agitated ones. They didn't make much sense to me; I wondered how much of the conversation I'd missed. The first voice I registered was high and fast.

"What happened with her father?" Someone sighed at that. It was what I felt like doing. If only I could _see_…

"He won't tell her about his sleeping patterns or her mother's past. But… he was cryptic even in thoughts, I didn't see much when I was there, I just heard him thinking that he thought keeping her ignorant was safest."

"Hmm, for some reason Edward, that sounds oddly familiar." The high pitched one chucked lightly, I frowned, unsure of what she was implying, and too distracted to procure and fit the information from my haphazard mind. Getting steadily more frustrated at why I couldn't see. I mean, I could hear, I could feel. But I couldn't _see_. Someone else joined in with the laughter, a deep brass voice fitting to the shrill yet melodic soprano.

"Ring any bells Edward?" There was a sound I perceived to be a grunt then.

"When is she going to wake up?" The anxiousness was back.

"Soon Edward." A pause.

"I'll keep her asleep until Carlisle comes to treat her; she's had quite an ordeal." I now know who that was. And steadily began to feel cross. I was perfectly eligible to wake up. What ordeal did I have anyway? Ugh. Confusion sucks.

"Get Carlisle Edward, she's about to wake up. I need to get the bags!" I felt like frowning again, the high voice, which I now assumed was Alice's, sounded enthusiastic about something. And wait; was I the 'she' here? Carefully, I tried to open my eyes again, surprised at when I succeeded.

I was sitting on the sofa; well lying on a sofa to be more apt. Sitting was what I did next. Esme was on my left and Jasper at the door, they were both watching me in earnest. Though Jasper was staring at me with an odd expression, like I was about to start screaming. Esme smiled when I caught her eye. But they were the only two in the room, Edward and Alice were no where to be seen.

"Is everything… okay?" I said warily, Esme looked shocked at this, and Jasper frowned. I resisted the urge to growl at Jasper. I mean, _he _was the soul point for most of my confusion. Couldn't he change that? Manipulate my confusion into, I don't know, euphoria? I could use some euphoria; I hadn't felt truly happy in a while. _Apart from when you woke up in Edward's arms. _My mind mocked me silently.

"Are you okay Lucie?" Esme murmured quietly, bringing out of my mental rant. But I didn't answer. Because I could remember. It was just easier to hold up a pretence that I didn't for a while. I decided to pretend as if the experience had been hazy. Like I couldn't remember each word Demetri had whispered to me with perfect Clarity. Like I hadn't been gripped by him. Like I couldn't remember screaming. And like I knew nothing of his and my talk; the one which he'd sworn to make me pay if I repeated…

"I'm fine." I said, with what I hoped was a reassuring smile in Esme's direction. My voice didn't give me away, but I refused to make eye contact when I said it. There was a sound at the door then, and I turned to who had entered the room swiftly.

"Hey Luce! You're alive," Emmett's voice boomed next to me, I frowned, blinking profusely and promptly feeling silly for doing so. Blinking had not improved my sight - I'd been lying on the Cullens' sofa, the afghan quilt draped over my shoulders - that hadn't changed. Everyone else had tense expressions, each anxious, and yet here Emmett was, unperturbed as ever by the situation. I shook my head slightly, feeling a bit dazed.

"You seem a bit confused, Luce, hit your head much?" He joked. Confused? I was in a room surrounded by anxious faces when my last memory was of half bleeding to death in the forest. Of course I was flipping confused!

"'Confused' is officially the understatement of the century." I muttered crossly. Emmett just grinned. And my tense anger just disappeared, as I felt a warm smile fall across my lips, despite my confusion and previous annoyance. Emmett always seemed to be able to do that; in many ways, he was as good at changing my emotions as Jasper's was. Not to mention, one a hell of a lot more subtle about it. I remembered how Jasper had controlled my feelings earlier, when I'd awoken in Edward's arms, and frowned slightly at the memory.

Was it just me, or was Jasper constantly sending me to sleep recently?

"Erm, Luce…" Emmett said. His voice sounded suspicious. I snapped my eyes back to him, raising my eyebrows. "You know Alice…"

"Yes Emmett. Surprising I _do _know Alice; I didn't hit my head _that _bad." I said sarcastically. Emmett ignored my sarcasm and continued. I saw Esme smile out of the corner of my eye. Suspicion lay thick on the air.

"She," Hang on, why was Emmett grinning? "Well don't freak out or anything, but seeing as your clothes were kind of bloody and all…" Oh crud no. I really hoped he wasn't implying what I _thought _he was implying. He pointed to something behind him instead of talking further. Warily I looked over his shoulder to where he was pointing.

"Alice goes sort of crazy with clothes." Emmett said matter-of-factly as he nodded to the pile of bags, the sort of which where the material of them (I could see from here that they were _silk _again, and promptly changed my shocked expression into a glower) was probably more expensive than anything I'd ever bought. Emmett was grinning beside me but I continued to glare at the pile disapprovingly.

"Crazy doesn't cover it." I muttered darkly.

"She likes shopping; that's probably why." Emmett continued conversationally, though I knew he was trying not to laugh at my expression.

"A flipping Shopping Nazi." I muttered again, oh crud. I said it out loud. Esme giggled slightly, an odd sound to what she was normally like. But it was soon masked by Emmett's voice.

That did it for Emmett. Quite literally. The awkward silence that had briefly appeared was broken as he guffawed in laughter, and he couldn't manage only to choke out any coherent words after that. I felt humiliation stain my face a deep red as it burned. This was great. Just great. If I'd only kept my mouth shut, this wouldn't have been happening…

"How exactly," floated a melodic voice from the doorway, the voice I could detect any where and still recognise it. The same voice I'd awoken to, the velvet symphony that fit perfectly to his stupidly perfect face. "is Alice, at all alike to Hitler's followers?" I thought my face couldn't have turned any redder. But no, it could. I wondered if I was verging on tomato-esque yet… "Carlisle's just trying to do some research," Edward informed Esme and Jasper. Not me. He seemed to try not look at me.

So I did the same.

I didn't _want _to look at him. Not when I knew how my feelings could escape. My stupid, unrequited feelings. How close I'd been to showing him earlier. When the bottled up emotions had barely been controlled by Jasper's power. I focused sharply on something else; Emmett was still laughing. I felt a strong urge to prove Edward wrong. His superior tone and indifference was annoying to say the least.

"I meant Nazi as in a bossy person." I said indignantly turning to Edward in time to see his smirk. That was odd. Why was he smirking? I'd just proved him wrong. And why had Emmett's laughter suddenly increased in amplitude? The soprano voice answered all of my questions.

"Lucie, did you just call me bossy?" Alice hopped into view from behind the door, scowling disapprovingly. Then scoping up all three (ridiculous I say, no one needs _three _silk bags of clothes…) of the shopping bags in unison, whilst muttering something about me not appreciating the art of fashion. "Now." She said in a commanding tone. I was prepared for the worst. "Come with me Lucie, Carlisle needs to tend your to your erm," She grimaced as her eyes raked my arms then. "… scratches." I didn't want to look at my arms, the injuries on them were sure to prompt my thoughts of earlier. And I couldn't remember those.

Not unless I wanted to start shaking in fear again.

Somehow I was moving towards the kitchen, Alice was scarily strong just to make me move by pulling my wrists, and somehow managed to carry all the bags. It was unnatural for someone of her size to have so much power. We were just at the foot of the Cullens' staircase, I knew that Carlisle's study was up there, when Alice abruptly stopped, her body turn rigid.

It took me roughly two seconds to realise she was having a vision. It didn't last long, only a matter of seconds, but she had an odd expression that I couldn't describe on her face as she turned lithely, a quick pirouette in which her hair bounced on her head.

She let out a small noise then, a delicate snort.

Again. To say I was confused was an understatement.

"Alice, I need to speak with Lucie." Said a voice behind me, curt and formal. I turned sharply - and a lot less gracefully than Alice had done I might add - whilst Alice muttered something that I couldn't hear.

"Two minutes." She trilled before dashing off to do what ever small pixie like vampires did in their free time. I found myself frowning after her.

"Lucie," Edward started his voice still formal. It irked me. I hated him when he was like this; formality was only one step up from arrogance in my book. He stepped towards me; I watched the movement through wary eyes.

"What?" I mirrored his same indifferent tone. Wondering if what I'd experienced before had only been a dream. To think I imagined he looked at _me _that way. It was preposterous. My imagination was getting ridiculous.

"Look," He sighed in frustration slightly, running his fingers though his bronze hair, making it look even more messy than usual. But still perfect. The movement stopped my thoughts slightly, despite myself, I found myself admiring his hair. But I stopped as soon as he spoke again, shutting my parted slips firmly into a hard line. "Just come with me for a second. You're acting oddly since you've woken up. You might have concussion." Again, his tone was formal, almost medical. He was looking at me critically, I crossed my arms over my chest, well aware of how petulant I was now looking. _Concussion_?

I glared at him.

_Very funny Edward. Very funny. _

"I do not have concussion." I said through gritted teeth.

"You might." He insisted. His eyes were darker than before, tawny as apposed to topaz. And his mood mirrored that.

"Well I don't." I said indignantly, "If I had concussion; then I'd be forgetful, and yet I can remember everything…" But my voice lost all power as it trailed off. I couldn't let anyone know how much I knew. How much I could remember. Maybe I _would _have to pretend I had concussion. The thought of that was daunting. I knew very well I couldn't act like that…

He took me then, by the arm gently but forcefully when I didn't react. Towing me upstairs, and turning sharply when he'd found me frozen. He'd barely touched the exposed skin on my forearm. Maybe it was because of how cold it was. Maybe my stupid brain related that to the clammy feel. I didn't know. But I did know why I was frozen. Because all the air left me. I felt like I'd been winded. Staring in horror at my arm as if it'd sprouted tentacles.

It was a sharp pain, physically hurting like he'd rubbed salt into the gashes on my arms. But he hadn't. They remained closed. Physically; I was fine. Mentally… (Well _mentally _was another term completely, implying something far too detailed about my sanity then I'd like to admit) but _emotionally_… I didn't want to know how I was feeling emotionally. I forced back the thoughts again. The horrible sense of reminiscence that I couldn't afford to feel.

Because I knew that emotionally; I was falling apart.

"Lucie?" His velvet voice whispered anxiously. The formal façade slipped, but now I wished he was still indifferent. I didn't _want _him to worry. It took a while to reach me. I planted a smile on my face, forcing on a blasé look. Trying to cover up the feeling I'd just had. And the memory associated with it. Slowly, I let out a small shaky laugh.

"Sorry, just a déjà vu moment." I said flippantly. Making to walk away and suddenly wishing Alice would demand to give me a makeover. I was _that _desperate to get away. Trying not to let the memories engulf me again.

Edward was not fooled.

I couldn't help my expression, it slowly transformed into a grimace as Edward stared at me, slowly trailing down to the arm I'd drawn back. His expression was calm, but his mouth was a grim line. Cautiously - before I could understand what he was doing - he took my wrists, and inspected my arms, inhaling sharply with breath he didn't need at what he saw. I saw myself in the mirror behind him, and understood his intake of breath.

I then promptly grimaced at my reflection; I always did. At least that hadn't changed. I mean, it wasn't like I'd have a near death experience, see my reflection and suddenly think: _wow, I look gorgeous_. No. Quite the opposite in fact. No such thing happened. I was grimacing, I looked worse than usual. The purplish shadows under my eyes were a prominent feature against my pale skin. My face itself, was undamaged, though more pasty than usual. I had little blood in my cheeks, so usually red from humiliation or embarrassment. I held in a gasp though, my face looked so _hollow_. Sallow cheeks reminded me that I hadn't been eating enough recently.

He was staring at the cuts down my arms, the blood was dried on them merely a dark red crust, but there were still red lines from where Victoria's nails had scratched me. It wasn't the scratches however, that Edward was staring at. There were bruises too. Bruises from where Demetri had gripped me; constricted me. I shivered slightly at the memory, and my breathing became erratic again, preparing for another tumult of pain to hit. No such pain came. I was safe, I reminded myself. There was no need to act so pathetic, I thought with a scowl.

"Lucie…" He breathed, his voice catching as he traced one slender finger over a purplish bruise on my arm, the same imprint of Demetri's hands. His voice held too much ardency, he cared too much. The formal and indifferent attitude had vanished. "Who _did _this?" His voice was a mixture of horror and rage. I flinched slightly, not at his tone, but at his touch, and felt awful when I met his martyred stare. I couldn't let anyone do that though, I couldn't let my thoughts rule over what I said. It was better to forget what Demetri had threatened. I just had to keep quiet. Lie low.

"I-I… need to see Carlisle." I muttered quickly, stumbling in my haste to get away from Edward. He was too close to revealing what Demetri had told me. I moved quickly past him, he didn't stop me. I knew he felt hurt at my flinch, probably assuming it was some aversion to his temperature. But it wasn't that. I just had to get away as I half stumbled up the stairs. Feeling his affronted eyes following my back.

I felt like I was going to collapse. Real tiredness was affecting me now. Weighed down with too much fear. I turned the corridor at a run, desperate to find the cause of what the dreams I had were, and to get away from Edward. I couldn't let anyone find out about how much I knew about Demetri.

I knew who I had to see.

_Carlisle_.

I only hoped he could help.

Else the chaos would only increase.

***

"Carlisle," I hedged warily, "I need to talk to you…"I was at the doorway, unsure whether to enter or not. He looked up from his books, a surprised look on his face when his butterscotch eyes met mine. It was odd, Carlisle's eyes always seemed to be the brightest gold when I saw them, I think it was due to his medical background. He worked with patients every day, resisting their blood and tending to their wounds. He'd brought compassion from his previous life as a human, and had committed himself not to feel tempted by human blood, controlling the bloodlust. I knew all this. And yet it still seemed odd to place the words vampire and doctor together.

He looked mildly surprised though, evidently having been too immersed in his book to notice my arrival. Hmm. Maybe I was getting better at the whole-moving-really-silently thing.

"What can I help you with Lucie?" He said calmly, closing his book and gesturing a chair. I sat down willingly, (I was more tired than I was willing to admit) but couldn't fight off the feeling, as I sat down in the arm chair, that I was like a patient seeing a psychologist. There were lots of similarities. After all, Carlisle was a doctor; this stupid chair seemed far too professional to be a mere reading chair and the subject I had in mind, _was _rather obscure.

"Carlisle…" I began again for a second time, unsure of how to phrase what I wanted to know, and once more resisting the horrible sensations of fear that threatened to envelope me. Eventually, I just sighed, deciding just to be blunt. "What do you know about hypoglycaemia?" I asked hesitantly. Carlisle's eyes widened slightly and then his expression furrowed slightly, already ahead of me no doubt, in thought. He sighed slightly and looked at me after a brief pause.

"A lot; what do you want to know?" I smiled slightly, glad that he knew, and wondered briefly if I should know more about the subject, or if would be better left unsaid.

As usual, curiosity got the better of me.

"The basics." I said in a gush, Carlisle nodded thoughtfully.

"Well, hypoglycaemia is basically a medical condition of having an unusually low level of sugar in the blood, it's a pathologic state produced by a lower than normal level of glucose. The term the term _hypoglycaemia_literally means 'under-sweet blood.'" I nodded, waiting for more when he stopped. I understood what he said; still, it didn't help me. He continued eagerly, I could tell Carlisle liked his job, and there was no denying how darn clever he was. His appearance always swayed me, looking far less than thirty. I did of course; know that this was not the case at all. Carlisle was over 300 years old, his physical age forever stuck at 23. His appearance was probably a shock to why he sounded oh-so-very-wise. I realised Carlisle was staring at me whilst I'd been thinking. And stupidly, I blushed in embarrassment. Discarding the errant thoughts.

"Sorry," I said, he smiled gently.

"It is this, I presume," Carlisle said quietly, "what you think is causing these vivid dreams of yours?" I frowned as I watched Carlisle's expression, I couldn't help it. He was still waiting patiently, and eventually, I succumbed, letting out a gust of air. "

Yeah, that's why I want to know." I stared at my hands, now a knotted fist.

"Where did you hear it before?" My stomach clenched, Demetri's threat hanging on the air. _I couldn't tell anyone without getting them hurt. _I thought ruefully, it would have been annoying, if it weren't for the fact that I was too scared to feel an emotion such as annoyance at this moment.

"A book…" I hedged. Carlisle raised an eyebrow in suspicion, but otherwise let the subject drop. I was glad he did not pry.

"To be honest Lucie…" He sighed again. "I don't think your visions are all to account for that. Hypoglycaemia is a common condition for those who are diabetic, you're not and-"

"Wait," I cut him off slowly, though I wasn't objecting to what he was saying. "How do you know I'm not diabetic?" To my surprise, Carlisle gave a half wry, half apologetic smile.

"I've checked your health records Lucie, just in case anything would become a problem, with you staying here a lot and all," I grimaced, I'd forgotten how much of a burden I must have become to him and Esme. They were both so willing and kind, never complaining, and yet I did this, practically living here (despite my feeble requests) almost certainly being a pain. Carlisle noticed my expression instantly and backtracked. "Not that we don't want you here Lucie. I'm just a curious person, sorry if it felt like I was intruding, for the record, you seem to be in perfect health."

I smiled slightly, satisfied enough by his reassurances. He carried on, soon sounding more like a medical professional than I'd ever heard him. "Many of the classic signs of low blood sugar - including shakiness, light-headedness, dizziness, confusion, rapid heartbeat, irritability and extreme hunger - can occur during the day or at night. Night-time hypoglycaemia has also been known to cause night-sweats, headaches, restless sleep and nightmares."

I just nodded, trying to hide my confusion, but Carlisle saw through that quickly, I sighed again. I seemed to be doing that a lot today.

"I don't have that…" I said quietly, "I mean the shakiness; maybe. The dizziness-" I thought about Edward's dark eyes and my entwined fingers shook slightly, I clenched my fist tighter. Yes, I was sky, but _that _wasn't because of this stupid hypogly-thing. "Well yes the dizziness maybe, but not because of this. No night-sweats or extreme hunger. The restless sleep and nightmares are a definite though." I rounded off, watching Carlisle's reaction carefully.

"Yes, I suspected that." He frowned then, and began rummaging through a pile of papers on his desk, still talking, in a quick fervent voice. "I don't think you've got hypoglycaemia Lucie, from Edward's description, your dreams for one; are far too accurate and detailed for the normal affect of this. And as for the other symptoms that you seem to be lacking… well, they're pretty essential to it all. And the fact that you're not experiencing them just proves further to my suspicion that you don't have hypoglycaemia-"

"Is that good?" I said quietly, "That I don't have it, I mean." He frowned slightly, looking towards me slowly.

"In many ways; yes. It is. But it all depends on what you do have. I've never be much of an expert on the subject of dreams, and so I don't really know much." He admitted, frowning at not knowing. "But we can't rule out completely that you don't have this Lucie. You could simply have a very weak version, in which case we don't need to worry at all regarding your health." I thought of something then. Demetri's words rang in my head eerily; my knuckles were white from how tightly I was clenching my double fist, unwilling to relive the memory.

_Why each seems so real? You inherited that from your father. Your actual gift allowing you to see people__'s past is different. Aro knows all about that one._

His words hadn't made sense at the time to me, my mind drunk on fear and horror at the thought of my father getting involved in the mess. But now they did. Demetri had been saying that my dreams were inherited from my father. Did that mean he had them too? His last words were scaring me however. Him saying that my 'gift' to see people's past was different. And that Aro knew about it.

"Oh, and Carlisle?" I asked though he didn't look up from the books that he was now staring at intently, scouring each page in less than a second with his golden eyes.

"Hmm?"

"Can this - Hypoglycaemia - can it be… inherited?" If it could. Then I would believe Demetri. If not, then I would just have to deal with not knowing.

"No. It develops in the individual person, why do you ask?" I just shook my head. Unsure to what I'd wanted the outcome to be.

"Nothing, just wondering." I made to stand up. Carlisle had helped to an extent. But not much. I think I'd already known before confronting him that medical science could not cure nor pin point the reason for my dreams. I was about to walk out the room when I felt Carlisle's hand on my shoulder. I cringed slightly, his hand was close to where Demetri had gripped me, a purple bruise lay underneath the thin fabric. I averted my thoughts from that.

"I don't think you have Hypoglycaemia Lucie, but your visions-" My glare cut him off. I hated people calling them visions. They simply weren't _reliable _enough to be called that. "_Dreams_- have become more frequent, because of the lack of sugar. But that's easily remedied."

He smiled then, and it was one that could put dentists to shame. "I think it's high time Esme got back in the kitchen."

I wasn't going to protest to that.

***

**Bella's POV: *gasps* ( For all you confuzzeled people; this was during the time in which Lucie was having that good old catch up with dearest Demetri, and then awaking at sunrise :p)**

I don't know how it all came to this.

I, Isabella Marie Swan, am pathetic. A word, I think, that I will use more frequently to describe myself.

I don't know what deduced me to this, as I sat here, quivering, as the tears fell. Unable to control or stop the sobs and raging guilt, more paramount than ever in its density. I was only vaguely aware of what my body was doing as I drew in each painful breath, ragged and coarse, the act seemingly burning my lungs. _As if I was unworthy even to breathe. _I didn't doubt that. What was I doing? Shaking? Shuddering? Trembling?

_Pathetic_.

I think it was a combination of the three. I couldn't see, my vision was blurred by the tears, and my brown hair was strewn and stuck across my face. Plastered to my forehead by a combination of cold sweat, and tears that continued to course down my cheeks. But I didn't make a move to push it away, partially because my fingers were shaking, but also because I needed my hair there. It acted as a shield, a soft veil in which people couldn't see my expression, torn in terrible anguish. They didn't have to suffer. They _shouldn't _have to suffer. I shouldn't have even been like this. Curled up stiffly, too scared to face anything, and refusing to confront my problems.

Still. I don't know how it all came down to this.

The memory of what I'd just endured threatened to overcome me again. I fought it stubbornly, trying to think of other reasons for my position. _Anything _to distract myself from the dream. And the thoughts that arose with it. I listened - with abnormal intensity - to the steady beat of the clock on the wall, regular like a heartbeat, each toll signifying a second that had passed. Time was erratic; the clock disagreed with my thought, proving that each second lasted the same amount. But to me, time wasn't acting correctly. Now, time seemed to have thickened, moving at a sluggish pace, and yet before it had been exceptionally quickly, almost running out. It _was _erratic. Time was hell. That was the only way I could describe the minutes that passed, each drew strength from me. I was sure if I stayed for an hour I would be drained from anything remotely strong completely. I didn't open my eyes. Just listened to it attentively, willing the soft thuds to drown out my thoughts.

_And_ _it wasn't working._

I gasped as I drew my knees up to my chest, holding myself together like I had done so many times before. I'd thought those days had passed. The despair eradicated.

Of course; I was wrong.

The hole was still there, slowly tearing me apart as I squeezed my eyes shut. I wanted to faint then. To not feel what I was feeling now. Oblivion was fine compared to this; I think I could quite easily endure the killer headache that followed. But I knew fainting wouldn't help me.

I suppose it had started because of her. Luciana Raven. The mysterious girl that had suddenly appeared in my life, seemingly trailing chaos behind her. _Seemingly_. Not really. She was only unearthing my own chaos that I'd buried. Myself too unwilling to admit or face up to it.

I still wish now that it could have remained hidden.

Because I'm pathetic like that.

I'd been stupid. Callous and impertinent at first when around her, though admittedly, not without a cause. I hadn't meant to be mean. And it'd emotionally taken more out of me than it had been worth. I wasn't used to being like that. I was, literally, a push over. I forgave people almost instantly; grudges had never been my thing. But I'd _tried - _physically tried _- _to be like that around her, brash and remote. If I'd predicted what could happen then I would have done the opposite. But I wasn't Alice. I couldn't predict things like that. So I'd had to deal with my actions - my stupid impetuous actions - each seemingly progressing in levels of torment and inanity.

I'd resented her. She came to Forks much like I had. The same sort of situation; shy and trying to divert attention from herself. Most people didn't notice this, but I did, simply because I knew what it felt like first hand. In many ways, Lucie and I were very alike, and yet in others, we were completely different. She hadn't chosen her arrival to Forks at the best time for me. I'd been having a bad week, more guilt stricken than usual about the situation I seemed eternally stuck in. But then she'd arrived, and at first I'd been grateful. Since I'd officially been with Edward the sheep like males (a certain Mike in particular) had backed off considerably. Not however, completely.

She was beautiful; I couldn't deny that. It was a subtle beauty though; she was what I would consider plain at a first glance, much like how I would rank myself. Her clothes showed nothing of her figure, slender and small. Drab and plain, dark colours meant to detract attention. It was how I used to dress. _Until Alice of course… _Her hair wasn't at all like Rosalie's blonde, more golden then blonde in fact. Nor was she like Rosalie at all really. Rosalie held an undeniable splendour in the way she looked, held herself and spoke. This girl hadn't, despite her good looks, that she was unaware of. I knew she thought along the same lines. Herself being too modest to understand that she was pretty. As I'd been. As I still was. Though it wasn't modesty that stopped me judging my appearance. Because in all truthfulness; I was _plain_.

It just happened that werewolves and vampires seemed to ban that word.

_What luck_.

But with her arrival, the attention that had been forced upon me lessened somewhat. To say I was grateful to the new girl had been an understatement at the time. I knew she hadn't liked it, with Mike following her eagerly, sickeningly like a Golden retriever, attracted to her like a lion to meat. Disgusting really. I felt sorry for her, evidently uncomfortable with the attention, and I noticed instantly that she looked troubled.

Yet her trouble to me at the time had seemed like nothing in comparison to my own. I'd only recently had Edward back. Saved (to find lack of a better description, because I really don't count what I did in Volterra as _saving_) him from the Volturi, and changed his initial plan of what he'd set out to achieve.

Suicide.

More tears slipped from my face at this thought. But relentlessly, I continued with my quest to find out what had caused this. Gripping my sides tighter, as my mind chanted the truth to me quietly. _Anything not to remember the dream…_

Like I'd said, Edward and I had only just been reunited. And it was at that point, that the guilt had sunk in. The sunny days with Jacob felt like a black mark against my name whenever I looked at him. I was unable to hide my guilt completely. And forever felt lucky that he couldn't read my mind.

Now though, I wished he could. I wished he could read my mind with the uttermost clarity; find out what I was too afraid to admit to him. And stop treating me like the saint he thought I was. I wished he could shout at me; hate me for how I was. But he wouldn't. He was Edward. Perfect, undeniably brilliant Edward. He was what I hoped to see each day, his ethereally beautiful face, forever looking like he'd just stepped out of one of Michael Angelo's David paintings. His flawless voice was as supple as velvet. The perfect symphony of sounds and the same one that sung me to sleep each night. The man that I loved, as he loved me.

_And I didn't deserve any of it._

And all of this. Brought the memories back, I hugged my legs tighter to my chest again, feeling so much like I had done so before.

Hollow. Empty. _Dead. _

Jacob had saved me from that. And that's how things had come to this, to an extent anyway. Jacob had cared for me when I was most vulnerable. I hadn't realised his affection for me at first, stayed in denial as long as possible. But eventually I'd succumbed. Jacob was _my Jacob_. Not the obnoxious arrogant Jacob he'd been on the rare occasions he'd met Edward, but the sweet and compassionate Jacob. The one I loved.

And there it was. I loved him. I loved Jacob and Edward both. My heart was torn, and I couldn't for the life of me decide. I didn't deserve either; it was probably what I'd end up with. And then the fear would come. The fear of being _alone_. Which should have been inevitable considering how I was acting. There was a thin line between the whole fiasco. My 'secret' to use a derogatory term, had been on that line. Simply relying on either Edward or Jacob to unearth the reason behind my expression and to realise the truth beneath the troubled looks.

But not when she'd come. Since Lucie had arrived, the whole thing had become more complex. Yes. I'd been stupid, brash in my actions towards her. She'd been getting close to Edward, and I'd been nothing short of terrified. I reacted instinctively, trying to scare her off in short; not realising at the time that this only intrigued her further. I'd thought she was trying to _take _Edward (as ludicrous as it sounded) away from me. I couldn't help but make comparisons. I've been constantly referred to as beautiful since I met both Jake and Edward, but they've been blinded by love. Lucie was definitely pretty in ways I was not. _Her _movements were not so uncoordinated, she could easily walk across a flat plain without tripping up, she was not graceful so to speak; or at least, not graceful when it came to the Cullens' standards. But she was more so than me. (And yes, I am aware that this was not particularly hard…) Plus, she was intelligent, that was for certain. I'd always been pretty awful at calculus - it was one of the only classes in which Edward couldn't arrange to be with me - I was half grateful for this. I didn't really want Edward seeing how bad I was at it; even though he already knew with his fruitless efforts of trying to teach me it at home.

And that's where Lucie came in. She was good at maths; really good. In fact, she was _very _smart when it came to most things. Now of course, I knew that was partially due to her ability to see people's pasts, but all the same, even without her gift, it was clear she was bright. She sat next to him in maths; Edward had informed me when I asked what she was thinking with a cryptic: 'she's mysterious,' type response. And again, it was stupid, but something had clicked then, I knew Edward could not read her mind. And in that realisation, I had felt a spark of invidiousness towards her. The one thing that made me different from everyone else was that factor, and to find out that someone else shared this glitch was like a slap in the face. I almost felt jealously because of that. Almost. If it hadn't been for the fact that I was already to guilt stricken and paranoid about how my life (and the people I loved in it) was running, I _could _have been. But as it was, even then I was too inflicted to feel any such emotion.

Still, she was getting too close to the Cullens. Alice especially, who had talked to her a lot, refusing to answer the unsaid questions as to why. _Alice_. I missed Alice. I missed her soprano chirpy voice and hyper moods; her insistent demands to torture me with clothes; her quick wit and ability to talk back to Edward. But ever since Lucie had arrived, Alice had been acting oddly around me. Part of me suspected she knew about my situation, which did not help at all with the guilt issue. But she didn't say anything if this was the case, which only heightened my confusion. She still talked to me whenever we were close. She was still the Alice I loved and the sister I'd never had. And I could only hope it would stay that way.

But back to Lucie. It had just escalated from that point onwards, I cringed the memory of the meadow. Not because of how she'd acted, I mean I _did _slap her. But because of Edward's reaction - a reaction I knew he sorely regretted - he'd hurt her, to protect me. Not even to protect me really, to _avenge _me. Again, this didn't help with my guilt at all. Then, I knew why she could relate to the Cullens so easily, why she wasn't fazed about them. She'd seen my past. This in itself, had come as such a shock, my first and foremost reaction was pity. I didn't want anyone to feel how I'd felt in those weeks when I didn't have Edward, (and not yet realised about Jacob) it was the darkest time in my life, the memory of it often sent me on the verge of tears. Again. _Pathetic_. But after that, the pity had died, and was replaced by irrational anger. Because she _knew_. She knew I loved both Jacob and Edward, and she could tell Edward in a heartbeat. And so I'd tried to keep her away, even resulting to _threatening _her, it had been deplorable really from me, just one mistake after another…

Eventually, I understood. I'd underestimated Lucie - the mysterious girl who'd seemingly sauntered over to Forks - completely, and I'd been so caught up in my own troubles, deceit and guilt, I hadn't realised what it was about her that made her so _different_. It was something so subtle; no normal person would pick up on it. The way she held herself sometimes, the small movements and change in expression, they meant something and were noticeable to me. The ones that orientated around her past. It was as if she didn't want to remember…

I was brought out of my thoughts then, sharply into reality. I'd forgotten where I was, curled into a soft ball on Jacob's sofa, unwilling to unwind my arms from my chest, thinking I'd shatter in doing so.

I didn't realise the tears were falling hot a thick down my cheeks until one single russet finger caught one, balancing the pearl drop of moisture - shimmering in the dawn light - on it carefully, before his warm hands cupped my face. His smell came to me, the same mix of the woodsy musky scent you associated with the forest. It suited him perfectly, and it was a scent I coveted. Edward's scent was entirely different. More potent in some ways, an irresistible allure, a drug. I thought about what Jacob had told me only yesterday. The words still rang clear in my head with perfect clarity, so unlike everything else which was just hazy to me.

"_You need to understand Bella. I _don't care _anymore, I know you love him. You fell in love with him and when he left; you fell apart. But you still held onto any shred of hope, clinging to him desperately, because that's who you are Bella. I can sympathise; I'd do the same with you. But he's like a drug to you. And you're addicted," _

He'd teased me about being a druggie then, always carefree and light around me, despite his seriousness, he'd made me smile that day. It was a talent he seemed to possess over many other people, making me smile. A proper smile, devoid of guilt and fear. He was never arrogant like he used to be, not since I'd told him I returned his feelings. Not realising the consequences that would follow.

_"I don't care though. Because as long as you love me Bella, I'll stay by you, I always will. Don't ever doubt that. I love you more than anything, and I don't care if I have to fight through hell itself to save you, if I have to fight through hoards of flipping stinking bloodsuckers to be with you, because I'll always be there for you Bella. I'll never let you go, always wanting you back… always."_

A hot cascade of tears fell at this, at remembering the sincerity of his words, so filled with devotion and honesty it had made my heart stutter, feeling like it would break. I didn't need that to happen again. I couldn't help the tears that fell though; they were unstoppable. I didn't deserve what he'd said. I didn't then and I never would.

"Bella, look at me." I wasn't sure how long ago he'd said that. I was still lost in thought, he'd pushed my hair out of my face - and somehow - I was in his arms as he angled my face towards his, a careful notion, like he was afraid I'd shatter. I hated to admit that's how I felt. I did look at him though, I owed him that much. He sighed when he saw my expression and instantly I wished I'd averted my gaze. "Please, tell me what's wrong." He begged quietly, and the fervour in his dark eyes took me aback.

"I-I… there's nothing Jake." I mumbled, ugh! Even my _voice _was feeble and pathetic. Jacob seemed to agree, his dark eyes twinkled as he muttered to me.

"Don't lie Bella; you know you suck at it." He was right. I did suck at lying. So why couldn't Edward see my heart was torn? Why hadn't he figured it out yet?

But I already knew the answer: _Because he loves you. And love turns you blind. _I turned my eyes back to Jacob - still staring at me, uncharacteristically _patient _for my answer, which was the opposite of his normally hasty words and actions that followed. I hated to do this. But I couldn't tell him. Not because I didn't trust Jacob, and not even because of Edward. But because the reason for my tears wasn't them specifically, it was something I couldn't tell them. Not unless I wanted them to get hurt too.

I'd forgotten he was still waiting for an answer, so I just shook my head sadly (hoping it would suffice, and silently praying him to not pry further. Because if he wanted the truth he wouldn't be able to draw it out of me. There's only so much pressure one can take.) And leant against him, inhaling his scent and drying my tears against his chest, practically radiating heat.

"I don't deserve you Jake…" I whispered, my voice came out rough and hoarse from crying. He picked up my face again, hot fingers cradling my numb cheeks as he stared into my eyes. I looked at him properly then. His defined features, the shaggy hair that was down to his chin again, all because he thought I preferred it long. I tried to stop the tears, I felt stupid for being so emotional, but I couldn't. They continued to fall as he looked at me, and I didn't think like they'd ever stop.

"Bella," He said to me, staring at me intently before pulling me tighter into his lap and resting his chin on my hair, murmuring softly into it. "_I _don't deserve _you_… seriously for a smart girl you can't be half thick." He chuckled and I felt him vibrate as he did so, filling me with warmth.

My sun.

My Jacob.

This was the reason I loved him. Because despite everything, with chaos and disarray falling, he was still there. He still provided me with hope and happiness. Without Jake I wouldn't have survived this long, it was him that kept me going.

"I'm thick really Jake," I mumbled, relived that at least my voice sounded on its way to normal. My expression was not something however, I wanted to think about. "you just think I'm smart because you ditch school so much." I could feel him grinning into my hair.

"Yeah, well a wolf's got its duties Bells…" He said lightly at first, but I couldn't help but notice how his sentence ended, with a twinge of anxiety. My breathing caught as I searched for his face.

"Tell me Jake." I whispered earnestly, trying to unlock the hidden fear in his dark eyes and eradicate its source. If there was one thing I couldn't stand, it was Jacob in pain. In that time in which Edward was gone, _this _was what postponed the guilt from being with Jacob. I convinced myself that I was only there to comfort him and stop his pain. Oblivious to what was happening at the time.

His small chuckle awoke me from my thoughts again.

"I can't say Bella; not unless you say what you're so cut up about." I grimaced, I couldn't help it. He'd distracted me well, the tears had almost subsided now, but still, his words brought back what I was trying to force down. The reason for my foetal position earlier as I'd tried to keep the memory away.

I concentrated hard on Jacob not to relive that.

Pouting slightly, I looked at him.

"That's not fair." My voice was weak; I knew Jacob could read my expression, despite the pout I'd used to hide it. He smiled ruefully.

"Life's not fair." He said softly. I couldn't repress a snort.

"Never heard that one before…" I muttered sarcastically, Jacob just grinned lazily. I was glad the subject of my crying had been forgotten. It wasn't because of Jacob that I was crying, nor Lucie or Edward. Well okay, it was _partially _because of them, or to be more accurate the guilt that arose when I thought of them. But only partially.

The other reason was because of that dream…

I wanted to curl up into a ball again.

"Bella," Jacob said, his voice suddenly ardent in worry, "_please _tell me what's wrong…" I stared at him, and let out a gust of air, muttering the first thing that came into my head; again it was not a lie.

"The Volturi…" I said quietly, Jacob furrowed his brows again, crushing me closer to him, muttering a string of profanities in my ear, and suggesting that the Volturi could do something anatomically unlikely with themselves. I smiled weakly.

"They can't help it Jake; it's there job. I'm just a scaredy-cat." I said quietly. Jacob shook his head venomously in protest.

"No Bella, you're friends are bloodsuckers." I still cringed whenever he referred to them like that; Jacob just shrugged, unperturbed by my discomfort towards his names for them. That was one thing he wasn't going to change. He continued. "But the Volturi," He whistled quietly, "they're really _bad _bloodsuckers, their job isn't to go round stalking humans and stealing there clothes, is it?" He was still muttering, "…some police force your vamps have got." I sighed.

"Yeah but Jacob, they're perfectly entitled to do all that, I mean they're only taking my stuff to get my scent…" I trailed off, wondering where I was going with my talk. I wasn't even sure it was The Volturi who had taken my clothes; it could have Victoria after all.

I'd momentarily forgotten that I didn't just have the _one _group of sadistic vampires looking for me. "What I mean is: I'm meant to be a vampire Jake. That's the only reason I got out alive in Italy, we promised…" I stopped talking. Jacob's expression was one of anguish as he looked at me.

"Bella," He said quietly, unable to mask his anger and pain, "do you want to become one of them?" His voice was impossibly silent.

"I-I…" I stuttered, unable as ever, to decide. I hated this. Last year that was all I wanted. To be immortal; and part of me still desired such. Not the prospect of being a vampire, with all beauty and strength attached, but because all I'd wanted then was to spend forever with _him_. Eternity with Edward. And the worst part was, I still did. I hated the fact every day I grew older. Closer to dying each minute. I was eighteen, Edward seventeen (looks wise), and Jacob even less. They did not age (with the exception of Jacob's conditions regarding if he stopped phasing.) And yet I aged _every stinking day. _I was afraid. Afraid that I would soon be too old and withered, with Edward still implausibly beautiful by my side. Each day, the difference between us became more pronounced. I loved Edward, more than I could describe, he was the turning point in my life. Opened up my eyes to the new, beautiful supernatural world. The one I loved, and could never live without.

But then he'd left. He's left me that day, alone in the forest. And suddenly life had become incredibly complicated. I'd believed his words, always knowing it was impossible for _him _to want _me_. Perfect wanting boring. It had all been so surreal, everything no more than fragments of a dream. A beautiful dream. A dream I never wanted to end. But in leaving me, everything had turned dark. I still didn't want to remember those weeks - weeks in which I was no more than a zombie. Jacob had saved me. My sun had stopped the darkness.

And now, looking at him, seeing his _pain_. It brought everything back. I couldn't, simply couldn't see Jacob in pain. Did I even have a choice? I sighed. "Not if it breaks us apart Jake." I whispered sincerely. Truthfully.

He growled then. His voice low and intense.

"Then you won't Bella. I won't _let _them."

I could feel him holding me tighter. It was all he wanted, all he needed. To hold me like this, my head tucked firmly under his chin, strong arms wrapped around me. I didn't protest. But I couldn't feel it. I was numb again. The thought of the Volturi just brought the voices back. I knew it was them, who else could it have been?

Her voice, the childish chime. I could still remember what she'd done to Edward, how she'd made him _writhe_…

I couldn't suppress a shudder at that.

"Bella?" I snapped my head up; somehow, my face was cradled in his palms again. Odd. I didn't remember that. Jacob's eyes were troubled, his eyebrows mashed together in a frown as he scrutinized me. "I've been trying to get your attention for two minutes Bella…" He said quietly; _worriedly_.

"Sorry," I said quietly, "zoned out. I guess I'm just…" I trailed off, Jacob waited for me to finish. "Tired." I said finally, I didn't blush though, it wasn't a lie. I _was _tired. But it was the reason for my sleep deprivation that made me feel sick again, the sweat beading on my forehead as I remembered _that _voice. Not the actual affects from lack of sleep.

"Tired people sleep, Bella." He said sincerely in a whisper against my hair, and despite everything, I suppressed a snort. It was one of the most serious things Jacob had told me, and yet utterly useless. Tired people sleep? No kidding.

The humour however, quickly evaporated, leaving the fear to seep slowly into me. I tensed in Jacob's embrace, despite how comforting he was, not even his strong arms could act as a barrier to what was going on in my head. The mention of sleep seemed to have unlocked the torrent of thoughts - thoughts that so far, I'd managed to overcome. Now I could only hear the strange choked sounds numbly to my ears, unaware that it was myself making them.

All of breath left me then. I could no longer feel Jacob's embrace as I experienced the dream once more. The very same dream that had caused me to cry like I had, reduced me to the same shadow of a person I'd been when Edward had left.

Slowly, I felt myself fall into the abyss. Unable to hold on any longer.

I was no longer aware that the word heat existed as the numbness hit, soon followed by cold. And then darkness. The all consuming darkness. I knew what would follow. I'd had this dream all ready, it was not pleasant. I struggled stubbornly to awake, trying to remember what had given me such a brief moment of contentment. Desperately wanting to sustain the warmth that had pulsed under my skin. Because now I felt nothing.

And it terrified me.

_Darkness. _

_That's all that lay before me, a darkness tainted by fear as my heart rate sped. I didn't want to search, that only arose the last memory of me being in a forest like this. Alone. The air was bitter; it stung against my arms, though I knew the Goosebumps on them were not caused by the cold._

_But then, I noticed that I was not alone. This sent both overlying relief and fear through me. Relief for something being with me. And fear what that something might be. My sight improved minimally as a faint trail of moonlight flooded the small clearing I was situated in. By my side was a girl, her fair hair bleached silver in the ambient light. I recognised her instantly, our eyes met. Hers were wide with the exact same horror I was feeling. Suddenly there was a noise in the darkness. In unison, our heads snapped towards the sound, magnified in the silence._

"_We've been waiting for you." A voice called, directed at the girl beside me, she turned to me before her eyes flickered back to a figure I couldn't see in the darkness. She seemed unable to look away. Entranced by whoever I could not see._

_The voice spoke again._

"_Yes, come closer."_

_She took a step forward, though the movement was odd. A jerky motion, it looked as if it was uncontrolled by herself. Again her eyes darted back to mine; the horror in them had increased. I wanted to help her then, looking petrified in the darkness, still staring at something I couldn't see. I made to move towards her, but couldn't. Terror dawned on me as I realised I couldn't move. The girl took another step away from me, her breathing came out in a gasp, and she stared down at her feet in horror again._

_It was twisted. She couldn't control her movements. I could tell she didn't want to move any closer to the voices, yet was being forced to do so._

_And I, well I couldn't move at all._

_But then a voice spoke. Only this time, I recognised it. And suddenly I realised the fear I'd felt before was nothing compared to what I felt now._

_At first, I couldn't distinguish the voice in the darkness; I decided it was like honey - slick and overly sweet. At least, that's what it sounded like far away. When, however, the figure shrouded in a cloak the exact colour of darkness drew closer. Her voice, too high for a male's, was horribly familiar. _

_I let out a gasp as she smiled._

_Jane._

_She turned to me, walking swiftly, and now I could see who was with me and the girl in the clearing. Figures - all wearing cloaks - lining the edges of the trees, their faces white against black. That's all I could see. Their pale faces illuminated in the darkness, and there eyes. The vivid colour of crimson, feasting upon me and the girl._

"_Hello Isabella." She trilled in that chilling voice, I saw the girl beside me stiffen. She danced closer, her movements were like that a snake, graceful but laced with venom. "How nice of you to bring her to us." She grinned beatifically, before dancing to the girl beside me. "I can help you. You don't want them to suffer do you? Demetri's warnings were clear little one. I can help with that. But if you don't help us," She clucked her tongue disapprovingly. "Then I'll have to hurt them."_

_The girl beside me, fear evident on her face looked abruptly shocked as her eyes focused on Jane. Her voice only shook slightly when she spoke._

"_You can't hurt them." She said sceptically._

"_Oh can't I?" Jane grinned. _

_And then the air was filled with the girl's screams. Jane watched her with avid fascination her face, a sadistic smile curling up her plump lips as she watched the girl writhe in agony. The screams continued to echo round the clearing._

"_Stop!" I cried, my voice broken, Jane looked at me then, her face contorted in concentration before she relinquished her power on the girl, now shaking on the floor. She danced to me instead as a cloaked figure grabbed the girl on the floor. I tried to move to help the girl, limp in one of the figure's arms, but I couldn't move. Jane whispered into my ear._

"_Thank you so much Bella. We couldn't have done this without you."_

_There was a sound echoing around the trees as I screamed a chilling unsettling grumble. As I slumped towards the earth, unaware of pain. It took me a while to understand what the sound was as it faded, and why it sounded so sinister, mixed with my cracked cry._

_It was laughter._

I knew who the girl in my dream was.

I gasped as I awoke sharply to the present, shaking uncontrollably. The scream dying in my throat. I didn't have any tears coursing down my cheeks though. I'd run out of tears. The sobs that escaped me where terrible and dry as I gasped for air.

I didn't look at Jacob's face. I knew it would just break me further. I had to at least _try _to be strong. I had to fix this. I would change it. I wouldn't allow the dream to come true. I _couldn't _allow it to come true.

I knew who the girl in my dream was. The one who had been tortured by Jane, taken away by the figures and consumed by the darkness. I had known since I'd first seen her in the dark clearing, moving forward despite her fear. I knew the girl the Volturi wanted. And I had to find her, I had to stop this. I had to make her believe me, because I she didn't then reality and dreams would merge into one. Causing chaos.

I knew who the girl in my dream was. And I knew she didn't trust me. But I had to make her trust me. Despite how I'd acted. I had to make her believe what I was saying was the truth, instead of insanity like Carlisle would deem it.

Because the girl had been Lucie.

_***_

**Ugh. Is my personal opinion on that chapter. Ugh. **

**Now. At the start I said I wouldn't babble so much. I… lied…**

**Now. Bella POV? Was flipping rubbish eh? Ugh. I tried. Sorry if it was bad, it's silly, you'd of thought seeing as SM wrote practically the whole saga from her POV that it would be the easiest POV huh? But nooooo. Anyway. I put it in, because reviewers requested one at some point. If, (yes. I am very aware of how unlikely this is) you readers actually liked Bella's POV and want more. Then please feel free to say so in your review, and I'll slave over typing another one ;) And even if you did hate it (in which case, great minds think alike) it was needed because it **_**does **_**add a lot to the plot… have you noticed that Bella seems to be getting very Lucie-esque dreams? Huh? Huh?! I'll say no more on that point. .. *shifty eyes***

**I feel… subdued really. I think the effects of tedious school are wearing off on me, And I've got a horrible headache; I think I've got a cold. Oh, and speaking of colds, SWINE FLU… (Please be aware that I am not trying to make fun of the serious problem, and I'm sorry if anyone reading this knows somehow who has been effected b the virus) Now. I know this was cruel, but I had to do it.**

**I was with my sister's friend Hannah. (Who is 9) Please understand that Hannah is probably the most gullible person you'd ever get the pleasure to meet… Seriously. (When I told her that I was half Chinese - despite the fact that I am blonde with blue eyes, and do not look remotely Chinese AT ALL - and began to write strange symbols on paper and claim that the scribbles were in fact the Chinese alphabet. She believed me.) Anyway, So I was with Hannah, and my sister and my friend started to COUGH. So naturally, my sister and Hannah said that she had caught swine flu. (This epidemic happened last year as well. Except if you coughed **_**then **_**you supposedly had bird flu, and were in danger of spontaneously turning into a chicken or - in my case apparently, I'm still unsure to why **_**I **_**would turn into a different bird - a duck.) But anyway. This girl coughed and Hannah was wondering what swine flu was.**

**I told her bluntly, in all seriousness, that if you caught swine flu, you would slowly transform into a pig… **

**And Hannah. Being Hannah. Believed me. She asked what the symptoms were; like coughing, and I informed her that if the subject in question started to 'oink' or let out the occasional snort, then they were too far gone to help. At this point, Evie - the girl who had been coughing - let out a massive snort from trying to contain her laughter.**

**Hannah has now been avoiding Evie. And when asked why she said: 'I don't want to turn into a pig!' … I told her yesterday what sarcasm was. She now understands, that if you catch swine flu, you will **_**not **_**turn into a pig. **

**So yeah. With that in mind. REVIEW. Else I'll turn into a pig, and pig's have strange trotter-style feet and can't type. And if I can't type, then I can't update (bearing in mind that at this moment - in the hypothetical near future if no reviews come - I am a pig) and If I can't update (because I'm a pig) then you can't read this story. And find out what will happen, and whether or not I ever stop rambling on in my babbles about things completely and utterly irrelevant. Like doors; shrews and now pigs.**

**So yeah. REVIEW PLEASE. I've got some of Ze next chapter written up. In which a certain girl who rhymes with the name **_**Fella, **_**(yeah, I was going to say **_**Smella**_**. But hey, some crazy fan girls could take offence to that. Oh wait, they could do that with **_**Fella **_**too. Drat…) shall talk to another certain girl who rhymes with the name… **_**Moosie**_**… *snort* and this might all lead up to one hell of a confused character who rhymes with the name… **_**Fed-Wood**_**. (Hahaha…yeah. No one will get **_**that **_**riddle.) *Notice the sarcasm people, else you'll end up going the same way little Hannah did. And start believing that swine flu transforms people into pigs...* **

**OH! And before I forget, if you haven't voted on the poll (on my profile) yet, please do! Else this story may take a turn you don't want. So far, the majority of people want Lucie to be vampififed. But if you don't, then say already! And ach. How many of you people want Edward to stay with Bella? I won't say whether this is an Edward/OC fic, because (despite my rough drafts) if you people HATE that idea. Then I won't do it. **

**As usual, if you've got a question then say it in the review, and if you don't like a particular part of this chapter (or like me, the ENTIRE chapter) then just say. I can take it. Anyways. Happy Bank Holiday weekend people! I'd really like a review or two… *hint hint, wink wink, hits-people-over-the-head-until-they-realise-that-they-have-to-review-to-get-a-faster-update!* Erm. Yup. I'm going to give out… free Emmetts this chapter to all who review! HA! That's offer is far too tempting to spurn, don't you think?**

**Lily- who is very cross at the stupid babbling issue that is getting WORSE each chapter…**


	29. The Midnight Irises

**Heyys**

**Okay. So I only got 17 reviews for the last chapter... Which is sad, seeing as I've got over 30 approximately for the others… I've **_**whittled **_**(hehe, see, the awesome words just keep coming and coming :p) it down to two possible reasons:**

**1). I **_**did **_**only post it on Saturday, and what with the bust lives people live in this day and age, people simply didn't have the time to review.**

**2). The last chapter was atrocious, and therefore readers deemed it unworthy for reviews, and instead decided to scowl at the computer screen and muse to themselves why they'd just spent the ast few minutes reading the rubbish.**

**Mhhhmm… yup. I'm betting on the latter :( **

**I did have a few others including: everyone had spontaneously died of Swine Flu… but I think I would have heard that on the news. And then I wondered if my babbling put people off? Which is still a possibility… Ah well. Anyway. To all who did review THANKS another trumpet of nelephants! (apparently elephants **_**trumpet**_**… it seems odd to me. I was trying to impersonate one (an elephant that is) the other day; it's surprisingly difficult. The noises I made were actually rather disturbing.) *HA! I can just imagine you all trying to make elephant-esque squeals, it's hard, I assure you. :P***

**Anyway. This chapter was rushed to get it out on time, so I'm sorry if there are typos :s And I'm sorry if I didn't reply to reviews! UGH. It was either update or reply. And I decided that I had to keep my promise, so instead of working today, like I should have been… I typed this up. Thanks SO much to reviewers! 624 reviews? WOWS… **

**Ugh. I've made myself a pledge not to babble today. So yeah, *refrains from typing up more* here you go:**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

**(Bella's POV)**

I didn't look at Jacob's face. I knew it would just break me further. I had to at least _try _to be strong. I had to fix this. I would change it. I wouldn't allow the dream to come true. I _couldn't _allow it to come true.

I knew who the girl in my dream was. The one who had been tortured by Jane, taken away by the figures and consumed by the darkness. I had known since I'd first seen her in the dark clearing, moving forward despite her fear. I knew the girl the Volturi wanted. And I had to find her, I had to stop this. I had to make her believe me, because I she didn't then reality and dreams would merge into one. Causing chaos.

I knew who the girl in my dream was. And I knew she didn't trust me. But I had to make her trust me. Despite how I'd acted. I had to make her believe what I was saying was the truth, instead of insanity like Carlisle would deem it.

Because the girl had been Lucie.

***

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

**(Lucie's POV)**

"Nothing, just wondering." I made to stand up. Carlisle had helped to an extent. But not much. I think I'd already known before confronting him that medical science could not cure nor pin point the reason for my dreams. I was about to walk out the room when I felt Carlisle's hand on my shoulder. I cringed slightly, his hand was close to where Demetri had gripped me, a purple bruise lay underneath the thin fabric. I averted my thoughts from that.

"I don't think you have Hypoglycaemia Lucie, but your visions-" My glare cut him off. I hated people calling them visions. They simply weren't _reliable _enough to be called that. "_Dreams_- have become more frequent, because of the lack of sugar. But that's easily remedied." He smiled then, and it was one that could put dentists to shame. "I think it's high time Esme got back in the kitchen."

I wasn't going to protest to that.

**The Midnight Irises. **

**(Lucie's POV)**

Carlisle had cleaned up the blood; Esme had provided me with a ridiculous amount of cookies; Alice had explained to me to my father was safe, and that we would be going to school tomorrow… These, were just some of the things I took in from the last hour. I'd been dazed really, my mind was overflowing with information I was too tired to process. Yes, I was tired. Instead of telling anyone about this though, I just kept surreptitiously asking for tea whenever people said if I was 'okay'. Esme was the only one who seemed to fully realise the meaning behind the beverage, but didn't question me. I was grateful for that.

Now, I was walking down the Cullens' corridor, meaning to look to wherever Alice had got to, and try and persuade her into letting me see my father. She'd already assured me he was fine. But I wasn't satisfied. And even if he was fine; I still wanted to see him. I was just contemplating whether I should play on her sympathy to get my wish, when I heard them.

Voices. Voices at a door to my left. It was uncannily like the last time I'd overheard something in the Cullens' corridor. Uncannily because it was the exact same two people talking. Jasper and Edward.

I half expected their voices to cease or quieten when I began to listen. But they didn't. Evidently too caught up in their argument to hear my arrival. The moment I tried to listen and make out what they were saying; I knew it was too late to go back. If I moved _now_, their vampire hearing would detect my presence within a second. Yet if I didn't move, then I was under the risk that they would find out I'd been listening to their argument, and henceforth find out that I had been eavesdropping. The latter was very likely to happen. I was well and truly stuck.

Well crud.

I decided, more out curiosity then anything else, that I might as well listen. And before I could ponder too deeply on my decision, Jasper's voice rang sharply from the other room. He wasn't actually loud, but his words held the aggravation.

"Edward, you're living in denial."

"I'm not." Edward's tone was impertinent.

"Yes you are. You're blind, Rosalie's sick of it, she noticed it first-"

"So what? Now you're taking _Rosalie's _viewseriously? She's just saying that, it's not true Jasper. She has an aversion to Bella anyway, for reasons that surpass me." There was a sigh at this comment.

"Even if that was the case," Jasper said, somehow remaining to stay calm, "which it's _not _Edward. _I _can tell, you have no idea what she feels when you enter a room Edward, and you-"

There was a growl.

"Do not tell me how I feel, Jasper." His name was spat; I recoiled slightly at Edward's tone, utterly clueless as to what he and Jasper were discussing.

"Someone has to Edward." Jasper said quietly. Too quietly, I barely caught it; I strained my ears and leant slightly towards the door.

"I'm perfectly capable of judging my emotions" Edward snapped.

"You're so blind."

And then there was a silence.

I froze. Completely froze. Everything was in slow motion, I saw the door handle being turned and then - in a flurry of movement - it swung open, with Edward scowling in the centre of it, his eyes zooming instantly on the only person in the corridor.

Yeah. Me.

"What," He said coldly at me, (I still hadn't unfrozen) "do you think you are _doing _Luciana." I scowled back at him, despite myself. I _hated _that name. Jasper appeared behind Edward and ran off too fast for me to tell which direction he'd gone. The sight of him made Edward's expression harden.

"Standing." Was my reply.

"I would say something else beginning with _S _actually." He said his tone still cold. "A verb that rhymes with lying."

"Hilarious Edward. Rhyming games. How perfect." I said, mirroring his tone, and fighting the urge to cry. Why did I want to cry? So what if he hated me?

I didn't understand my emotions as I stared at him. And it annoyed me. A lot. Not understanding what others are feeling is irritating. But not being able to understand your own emotions? That's just plain frustrating. At this point, I wanted to be Jasper. Screw mind reading. If I could understand what he was _feeling_; that would be enough.

_But would you stop how you feel if it was different? _I drowned out that thought. I already knew the answer. Frowning slightly, in the act of ridding my head of such errant thoughts once more.

"Rhyming games," Edward mimicked me icily, "I was just trying to phrase your spying in a better light, Lucie. You weren't meant to argue the point." His words were meant to offend me. They didn't. I mean, I hadn't intentionally wanted to hear that conversation, and it still didn't make much sense.

It struck me that he wasn't walking away. This confused me; I tried to imitate his scornful look. And failed. My face probably now looked contorted. I mean, I really wanted to slap him. No scratch that; I wanted to _punch _him. Not because I wanted him to feel pain, (Mike would be another story entirely) but because I wanted to unleash my anger for once. Instead of having it constantly bubbling inside me. Bottled up and never released. Or when it was released, it always seemed to be in a situation when my opponent was a vampire. Which _really _wasn't very fair to be honest.

Again. Fear washed through me at my most recent release of anger I'd had around a vampire, and the consequences it had caused. I wanted to sit down, to place my hands firmly on either side of a chair. It would have made the shaking less noticeable.

In an act of trying to forget that, again, I looked back at him. Expecting his expression to have changed at my sudden tension. His expression wasn't different though. Albeit, slightly more indecisive.

But still, he was looking straight back at me. I didn't blush, instead I felt the anger surge again, anger and another emotion that I would have to contain. Looking at me like that, arrogance practically radiating off him. But the thing was, he was leaning. Slouching casually against the wall now, his shirt clinging to him, brow furrowed in a quizzical scowl. And running his snowy fingers through his tousled bronze hair.

And as much as I hated to admit it. Edward looked…

Well. Wow pretty much sums it up. Damn his stupid, ethereal, impossible looks. They really didn't help with the whole: _you-are-meant-to-hate-him _situation. I held on to that. The tiny spark of annoyance. I would need it.

"Utter hubris." I muttered under my breath.

"Excuse me?" Edward's replied trying to keep up the cold tone but unable to completely mask the amused edge to it.

"It'll be your downfall Edward, hubris."

"Excessive ambition shall be my down fall?" He asked sceptically.

"No. God like arrogance will be." He didn't reply to that at first, yet when he spoke, his voice was low, words sharp.

"Arrogance is one thing Lucie. At least I'm not naive." I just sighed, I'd had enough.

"If it's any consolation Edward," I said before walking away, sick of his attitude. "I disagree with Jasper too. You alone know what you feel."

With that I turned, leaving Edward stunned behind me.

Because the only emotion Edward felt towards me was hatred.

I needed Alice.

***

It only took roughly 23 seconds for her to arrive by my side. I made a vow to myself to not think about what had just happened. I would place it in the back burner of my mind. Deal with it _later_.

"Now Lucie…"Alice started anxiously, looking at her feet like a small child who expecting a scolding for doing something bad, much like I had done when I broke a vase all those years ago. I cut my thoughts off from that memory however, instead focusing on the present. Why was Alice looking like that though? It was strange. She said her next words in a gush, her pitch raising an octave by the end. "Look I needed to see Jazz because he was upset and needed my company, I didn't mean to leave you alone, and then that stupid brother, ugh! Look I'm really sorry about Edward and I just think that-"

I cut her off. The rate at which her voice was rising was actually quite scary. In a matter of seconds, only dogs would have heard her. But she looked even worse at my interrupting. Hanging her head slightly and looking sad. I suddenly felt an urge to hug the small pixie. Sure, she was annoying and kind of scarily obsessed with clothes, but all the same. It was Alice. And I felt awful for being to reason for her sadness.

"It doesn't matter Alice. Just…" Was I really going to say this? _Anything to make Alice happy_. I chanted quietly, the chant blocked out my other thoughts, which were now practically screaming in _mercy_. "You can spend some time torturing me to get your mind off things if you like." Yes. As soon as the foolish words left my mouth, I instantly regretted them. Big surprise.

Suddenly, Alice clapped her small white hands in front of her, beaming beatifically.

She looked rather like a seal.

"Yay! Oh thank you Lucie, you won't regret it-"

"I already have..." I muttered ruefully, but Alice's beam only increased. I decided, there and then, that anyone who was that happy about giving people clothes was mentally insane. But then again, it was _Alice _we were talking about here.

The moment I was in her room, she shoved me into a ludicrously large bathroom with a gigantic shower (did vampires even _need _to shower?) and animatedly began throwing the contents of the silk bags at me. Each and every one looked ludicrously expensive. But I didn't argue. It was nice to see someone happy for once (even if it _was _Alice, now hyper at the prospect of me trying on clothes.) My weeks recently had been constantly filled with fear. Happiness was rarely something I saw now a days. I suppose I'd just have to cope with it not being my own.

"Oh Lucie," Alice trilled, awaking me slightly from my slightly depressing thoughts. "This is so much fun!"

I gave her a quizzical look. The girl seriously needed to look up that word in the dictionary. I made a mental note to get her one as a birthday present. And highlight the definition of _fun_.

"Right, I've decided, you're going to wear this; it's perfect." Alice's tone held too much confidence; I just nodded as I went back into her bathroom and changed. I didn't look at the clothes as I pulled them on. They all fit perfectly; it was quite creepy how Alice knew my exact size really.

It was only when I caught my reflection did I fully regret my mental vow to make Alice happy. The combination was tight jeans and a dark top. It was quite nice actually; except for the top that was. The colour, I didn't object to. It was just a deep midnight blue. But I glowered at it.

Or, more specifically, I glowered at my exposed collar bones.

Alice was going to pay.

***

I don't know what happened. Alice somehow did a sad puppy look when I ranted about not wearing the clothes. It had made me feel guilty. So now, not only did I have to wear the clothes (if you could call them that) Alice had somehow made me agree to have a makeover, to _prove I was truly sorry…_

Yeah. Life sucks.

The next few minutes pasted in a blur. Alice decided to attack my face with multiple torture devices, all the while muttering strange and long facts about what she was doing. "_I won't apply much because in your case Lucie, less is definitely more. Lighter tones aren't needed because you're so pale, you don't actually need any makeup, except for those dark circles under your eyes…_" That sort of statement would be followed by several disapproving _tuts _and then my face would be attacked again, and I would squeeze my eyes shut whilst all the while the mocking voice in my head would mutter profanities at how unjust life was. I droned that out. Instead listening to Alice's wind chime chirps. Even is they were fixated on strange feature enhancing products. .

"Honestly Lucie, you'd think I was torturing you by the expression you've got." Alice practically sang happily. Too happily. It was unnatural.

"You have no idea how correct your statement is." I said darkly. Something about Alice's smile was odd. She _was _too happy. It was an odd change from her deep melancholy before. I suddenly felt very suspicious of her. "Hang on Alice…" I said slowly, as I pieced the information together. _Damn Alice's acting skills_. "You weren't really upset earlier where you? You knew I was going to give in, didn't you?"

I saw Alice's reflection in the vanity mirror smile wider. She chuckled musically.

"You're surprisingly easy to influence Lucie. I bet you wanted this really." She said. I inhaled a breath sharply. Wanted this? Wanted to be attacked with those devices? Wanted my collar bones exposed like this? Did she seriously just say I _wanted _all that?

"I. Did. _Not_. Want. This. Alice." I said through gritted teeth. With key emphasis on the word: not. "You-you-you…" I struggled for a word to describe the evil-pixie-playing-on-my-guilt-and-sympathy-genius behind me. "Manipulative vampire." I muttered.

"I wouldn't say manipulative." Alice pouted, she had progressed onto my hair now, she'd brushed it so lightly I could barely feel the strokes. Now she was twisting and turning my hair into an intricate pattern. I resisted the urge to growl.

"I would. Using coercion like that's got to be a sin." I remarked lightly.

"Coercion?" Alice gasped in mock horror. "I didn't threaten you once!"

"You were about to." I muttered. She smiled wryly.

"True." She said happily before twisting me round lightly on the chair, I felt dizzy. Alice was looking at me approvingly. I think my scowl might have ruined the affect slightly though. That thought would have made me feel slightly smug, if it weren't for the fact that Alice had already claimed that emotion with her smile. Looking smug in the extreme.

"You look perfect Lucie."

I didn't look in the mirror at the overall affect. I'd look the same, sure, my hair would be glossier; my lips redder; and I'd probably look thinner in the top I was wearing. But it would still be me underneath that. The plain girl with bruises and cuts.

Besides, I was too busy in my head to spare a look at my reflection.

I made an extremely important mental note: _never trust Alice again_.

If only I could stick to it.

***

I was feeling sleepy again as Alice half towed me downstairs and into the living room.

I sat down on the sofa as they talked; they were speaking irritably fast again, at a speed in which I could only make out a few sentences. The like of which were: _"No, no…until the 30th__," _and: _"I can't see them changing their plans so quickly." _Which, incidentally, didn't make much sense to me at all.

Jasper scooted over to me next, I hadn't registered the movement, instead nervously twisting the dark blue fabric on my sleeve and scowling at it. It was _satin_. Typical of Alice to find one of the most expensive materials for me to wear. His voice was as calm as ever. And my mind suddenly flitted to the words I'd overhead earlier.

_You're living in denial Edward._

I paled at the memory afterward, still confused as to what Jasper had meant.

"You're confused." Jasper said next to me. I resisted the urge to smack him. I didn't physically want to hurt Jasper, I _liked _Jasper. In fact, along with Alice, he was probably one of my favourite people to be around. Despite his annoying ability to make me sleepy, he was genuinely nice, besides, he made Alice happy _without _taking her shopping, or having to endure a makeover. Anyone who could do that was a pure genius.

No. I wanted to hit him because he'd just stated the _incredibly _obvious fact that I was confused. I had several sarcastic comments lined up to use, one being: _No Jasper, how could I be confused? A bunch of vampires are talking at a rate faster then my car can travel and I can't work out what they're discussing- namely because they're talking so darn fast. Plus, I've only recently woken up from bleeding in a forest and still feel slightly dazed by the memory. Otherwise though, I understand the entire situation with perfect clarity thanks. _

I didn't say that though. I just nodded slightly, and looked up at him with a pleading look.

"Can you change that?" I said quietly, "Make me become…" Hang on; what was the opposite of confused? "Enlightened?" Oh great. Enlightenment. I sounded like the Buddha. Jasper chuckled wistfully in response to my now furrowed brows.

"No Lucie; it's better if you don't understand."

"I disagree." I pouted. Better if I didn't understand? Yeah. Because _that _would help with confusion. I frowned at my thoughts. Sarcasm seemed cropping up in a lot of them.

"It's really not very interesting, why else would he be talking to you Luce?" Emmett interjected, grinning. Did he ever stop dong that?

"I recon he's talking to me because I'm a highly mysterious individual Emmett." I said in a mock self-aggrandizing way, repressing a smile at how pompous I sounded. It didn't really work. Emmett just snorted. Rosalie sauntered up to him, a smirk on her flawless face. She was wearing dark jeans and a tight red top, her hair falling effortlessly in pristine curls down her back. I suddenly felt very self conscious. No amount of Alice applied torture would make me look like Rosalie.

"What gorgeous?" Emmett said to Rosalie, before turning to me and grinning. "Rose is probably the most successful assassin here." He said conversationally. Wait. Assassin?! Emmett fell into laughter at my expression; I couldn't help my look of horror. "It's because of her looks." Emmett said wisely, his smile was infectious. But Rosalie frowned at his comment.

"I'm like a rose; beautiful, but if you get too close I'll sting you." Rosalie murmured softly, her melodic voice eerily poetic. There was a pause then, as everyone took in her words and the meaning behind them.

"Sorry babe," Emmett said eventually looking at her bemusedly "but that reminds me more of a bumblebee." She scowled playfully, punching him on the shoulder.

"Since when are bumblebees beautiful Emmett?" Jasper interjected curiously, "have something you'd like to share with us all? An infatuation? Your one true love-" He was cut off as Emmett lunged at him grinning. Jasper was faster however, years of fighting on his side. They circled each other gracefully. Rosalie rolled her eyes. And Alice sighed.

"Don't Emmett." Alice said calmly. "Jazz wins."

"Oh yeah?" Emmett said still grinning whist continuing to circle Jasper. "And how can I tell that you're not lying?"

"Well…" Alice said chuckling lightly. "You can continue if you want, but my bets are on Jazz." Emmett sighed and held his hands up in no defeat, muttering something as he crossed to the window beside Rosalie.

_"It's no fun with you Alice. Always predicting…"_ But I didn't catch the rest of the sentence, whether that was because he trailed off, or my human ears were too weak to hear the rest, I was unsure.

I couldn't understand the silence that had just formed. Everyone in the roomed tensed up except my self, and I noted - with a quick glance to the window - Emmett. He didn't look nervous like the rest of them and I felt grateful for that. The complete opposite of what Alice was now like, rigid next to me. I could feel the minute glances she kept sending to Jasper, despite the fact that they weren't meant to be noticed by me. It didn't take me long to figure out why everyone had frozen slightly, as I heard the Volvo draw up in the Cullens' ridiculously large drive. Seriously. Stupidly large seeing how many people lived here. I cringed at the thought of how many cars they had.

Rosalie was the first to break the silence. She stood up haughtily with an odd expression on her perfect face, half frown, half scowl of disapproval. The effect was that she looked close to furious when she looked out the window. I thought I hear her mutter something before she vanished up the stairs, closely followed by Emmett.

"_Ugh. It's so typical of him; he just doesn't _get _it…"_ I didn't have time however, to decipher what Rosalie had meant. Because at that precise moment, Edward walked in, his arm snaked around Bella's waist. And despite everything, my stomach knotted painfully. I sat there, still on the sofa. Suddenly finding myself wishing that I was else were.

Edward looked almost taken aback when he found us all staring. And or some reason, this irked me. He should have known we'd all have been in here. _What was the point of having mind reading power if you didn't use it? _But I didn't question that any further, because I knew the girl beside him had certainly had his uttermost attention. His eyebrows furrowing slightly as his gaze lingered over Jasper - who was now on Alice's other side - I knew he was reading his mind, and was instantly curious to what he was thinking. See? It was completely unjust that Edward could read people's minds. And I was stuck with having to endure haunting memories of childhood by seeing people's pasts.

Again, I cut my thoughts off short. _Remembering the clammy touch all too well, the pain as he'd gripped me, causing the bruises that coloured my arms… _With probably too much fervour, I looked at Jasper. Willing his looks to somehow distract me, I found him staring at me, frowning much like Edward had. I knew it was because of the hectic emotions that kept overcoming me. I drew my eyes away from his golden ones, afraid he would detect the fear I wasn't willing to talk about. The fear that I _couldn't _talk about. Without dire consequences attached.

I hastily looked towards Edward and Bella again, ignoring what ever was wrong with my stupid stomach. Bella's eyes however, unlike Edward's, were not scanning the faces of the room around us. She was not blushing at the attention clearly focussed on her. Because she was only staring at one person in the room.

Me.

"Nice of you to drop by Edward." Alice chirped, visibly relaxing beside me as she relaxed her previously hunched soldiers. It occurred to me that the reason for Jasper by her side could have been a vision. I discarded that thought; Edward wasn't looking at her. Was I the only one to notice how formal she sounded? A snort from behind me confirmed that I wasn't. I recognised it instantly, and turned to face Emmett, grateful from having to look at anyone else. He was still unperturbed by the tension, looking like he was trying to prevent a grin.

"Drop by? You seem to come to our house loads Edward… I don't know, I think I assumed you lived here or something. You too Bella." Emmett said with a grin. Bella smiled weakly in response whilst Edward just frowned. I suddenly realised Rosalie wasn't in here. Emmett seemed to understand my expression, though how I didn't know. I'll put it down to some other annoying vampire power... "Rose needs some alone time," He said in a mock whisper, and grinned at Edward, "I think she's cross with you bro!"

"Joy…" Edward muttered sarcastically. Before turning back to look at Bella. It honestly hurt me to see his expression, so filled with love. I wanted to scream. Not because he loved her; but because she didn't love him as much back. And if she did, her heart was torn. His voice wasn't like how he'd spoken to me earlier. All traces of formality had left it, replaced by the emotion that was ardent in his dark eyes. "Bella, do you want to come upstairs?"

Bella's response was not one that I expected.

"No," That was the first surprise. "I want to talk with… Lucie." And _that _was the second.

I was quite sure my jaw had dropped.

Hastily, I shut it with an audible snap. Edward looked stunned; Jasper confused; Alice troubled; and Emmett - typical to his nature - merely looked amused and like he was about to laugh. I couldn't blame him in a way. Bella _was _turning rather red. And my jaw _was _dangerously low.

Bella quickly amended herself, blushing at everyone now gawking at her. She put my previous embarrassment to shame. When Bella blushed, my tomato shade practically looked _pasty_.

"If you don't mind," She murmured softly to me, a tentative look in her eyes, all traces of hatred gone. I felt ashamed again for thinking ill of her. She looked almost intimidated by me as she stood by Edward, almost as if she was unsure whether to hide behind him or draw away. I couldn't speak. I just nodded stupidly. Edward looked as shocked as I felt. She turned to him next, apology clear on her porcelain face, now a flaming red. "I'll come up in a sec, I just," She sighed slightly, as if unsure how to phrase it. "I need to ask Lucie something."

I don't know why, but for some reason, the act of Bella calling by my name, as apposed to 'her' seemed almost tentative, as if afraid of both my approval and Edward's.

"Sure." Edward said, his voice oddly composed and calm. My eyes flashed to Jasper, he smiled slightly at me and my suspicions were confirmed.

"Edward, come hunting with me and Jazz," Alice said unrepentantly, Edward shook his head.

"No, I'll wait for Bella."

It was then that I looked at him. Annoyed at his statement and how his mind was purely focussed on her. Because if Bella really did want to talk to me, I knew full well that she wouldn't be able to with Edward around. Not with what we were likely to discuss.

But when I met his eyes - which were not upon Bella, but rather myself - Alice's reason for hunting seemed paramount. I held in a gasp.

His eyes were dark; the tawny shade had left them almost completely. His irises were barely distinguishable from the pupils, with only a faint shimmer of gold. They were the colour of midnight. Very dark. Edward was _very _thirsty. He saw the look in my expression and turned away, hurt unmistaken on his face. I felt sick, realising too late that he had mistaken my shock as repulsion.

"You're probably right." Edward broke the silence - his voice was cold and blunt - only turning to look at Alice, whose mouth was a grim line. He refused to spare me a glance. Unwilling to see my apology. "I should hunt."

And with that he turned to exit the room.

And I couldn't fight down the feeling that he'd left because of me.

****

The Cullens had all left except Carlisle and Esme, both in the study upstairs, and not within hearing distance. Bella and I were in the kitchen, she was looking at her feet. And I stood there, feeling stupid.

"Look Bella," I decided to be blunt. "I'm not going to lie. I hate you for keeping this up. Yes. You love Jake and Edward, but hiding that's just going to make things worse, if you keep it up-" Bella interrupted me however, her voice shaking with rage, though quieter than how she'd spoken previously, barely above a whisper.

"_Don't you think I know that_?" I was taken aback by her expression. She continued venomously, I'd never seen her so angry, a blazing hatred was ardent in her brown eyes. Yet somehow, I knew it wasn't directly meant for myself.

"I know this Lucie. And it's killing me. But what do you suggest I do? Yeah. I love them both, is that such a crime?" Her voice was steadily losing its heat, but she carried on nevertheless, "I _cannot _tell Edward, Jake already knows, but do you realise what it would _do _to him? I've got to be strong Lucie, I can't seem to do anything. I just make it worse. Can you understand what it's like to be constantly weak?"

"I can." Was all I could choke out. It took me a while to respond to her words. "And I do understand Bella. But you have to tell Edward… he'll find out and then it'll just be worse-"

"No Lucie." Bella's voice was sharp. "I can't tell him. You don't understand."

"No Bella, I don't." I replied, mirroring her sharp tone. "I don't seem to _ever _understand do I? It's part and part of being human I recon. I'm _always _left in the dark; but I'm used to that. I don't expect to be treated differently."

"Lucie," Bella sighed impatiently, but not angry, just tiredly, as if the conversation had taken too much out of her. "I don't want to argue with you."

"I don't either." I said, but I couldn't keep the sharpness out of my voice. She noticed, looking at me, her expression dark.

"I cannot tell him Lucie. He'll go to Volterra."

And then, the anger evaporated.

And I hated Bella for that. I hated her for making the anger disappear. Because without it, I was barely a shell. Without annoyance or frustration, my heart ached, my head pounded. And fear was all that consumed me. Demetri's voice was harder to block out then ever.

"Look Lucie," She said, her voice lacked all its vigour from before. But I could sympathise, my anger towards her had flickered briefly and was now a dying flame. "I'm tired… both physically and emotionally. Please understand that." I did.

I looked at Bella then, and now she'd mentioned it, she _did _look tired. As in really tired. Her chocolate brown irises were ringed with black and she too, had mauve shadows forming under her eyes. Her movements were clumsier than normal; her smile forced; her carob black eyelashes fluttering every so often with the temptation of sleep. She grimaced under my scrutiny, as did I.

But my grimace wasn't because of how Bella looked, as if she'd been sleep deprived for days - no, my grimace was because looking at Bella, made me think of what I had looked like before Alice had decided to torture me. I had looked worse.

But wait a minute. Why was Bella lacking sleep?

She slumped slightly against the wall.

"What is it?" I asked quietly, unable to mask my concern. Something about Bella's stance, the way she was resting her body slightly against the wall, was odd. And it worried me. She let out a gust if air she'd been holding and then, in a voice so quiet I was worried I'd mishear, she spoke.

"I've been having dreams Lucie; really vivid ones."

***

Bella had told me about her dream.

She dreamt of me. Me with the Volturi.

It really hadn't been helpful news seeing as I'd spent the entire day trying to forget them. Bella had been worried, scared and afraid _for me_. It was the last part that didn't make sense. The Cullens had arrived home, with the exception of Jasper and Edward. I'd felt awful at that. But Bella seemed relived when Edward didn't arrive back, and quickly to see Charlie. Alice said the Volturi had no intention of arriving to Forks soon and took Bella home. Part of me wondered whether she really was going to see Charlie or Jacob. The day had passed eerily quickly; it was around 11:30.

And now I was in Edward's room. Sitting cross legged on his sofa. _On Alice's orders. _She'd arrived back providing me with a heavy quilt I had no intention of using, and had insisted I used Edward's room, claiming that he wouldn't be coming back tonight. I fingered the soft quilt wondering how it was possible for the Cullens' house to be so big and yet not possess a guest room. I didn't wrap the quilt around me, despite the temperature. Because I couldn't sleep. Not with Bella's added news. If I fell asleep now I would surely wake up screaming.

My eyes felt heavy, I found them fluttering shut, wondering idly about Jasper's conversation with Edward earlier in an act of trying other thoughts. I felt light then, very light. Almost as if I was floating.

There was a noise then, and I snapped my eyes open. I nearly screamed when I found Edward stock still in his doorway, staring at me his expression unfathomable as his eyes raked over my figure sitting on his sofa, staring back at him with wide eyes.

His eyes were wide too.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to startle you." He said eventually.

"It's okay." I said truthfully - really trying to stop looking at him like I was - no doubt in utter awe. It was pathetic. Stupid. Yeah, his bronze hair was windswept. So what? _That does not give you an excuse to stare at him like that! _

"I presume Alice sent you here?" He mused dryly, slouching off his jacket and placing it on the corner of the sofa. I really wish he hadn't done that. My whole do-not-look-at-him act was becoming increasingly difficult and him taking clothes off did not help my situation _at all._

"She said you wouldn't come back tonight."

He gave me a strange look then, moving too quickly to my side, so that I couldn't protest - and staring at a point on my hair. "You've got split ends." Edward commented, twisting a lock of my hair gently in-between his pale slender fingers.

And that simple movement, the act of him twisting it, and the supple gentleness of his touch. Was enough.

Suddenly, the memories where hitting me thick and fast, Demetri's voice plagued my thoughts, yes, they were split ends. From where he'd pulled my hair… _Wanting to hear me scream_. I couldn't help it. His face loomed before be again, and this time even Edward's face wasn't enough to banish the black eyes rimmed with crimson from my mind. I felt a shudder surpass me, as I gasped sharply, my heart rate increasing, every nerve ready for an oncoming attack. Ready to run.

Edward noticed this, instantly; he dropped his hand from the lock of my hair. Instead cupping my face in between his miracle cool palms. So unlike Demetri's clammy ones, the very same ones that had gripped me and paralysed me still. The cold that had not soothed but pronounced the horrible feeling of claustrophobia. He was saying something to me. But I couldn't hear. I couldn't _think_. I just kept seeing Demetri, and hearing his chilling voice replayed again and again in my mind.

I noted something though, as his voice eventually reached me. Tainted with anxiety to my now chalk white complexion. For once, fire did not irrupt where his skin met mine. I was numb to everything.

"What Lucie? What happened?" Edward was reading too much in my expression, I closed my eyes- knowing how much truth he could access from them - desperate to brush off the comment. _He couldn't know_…

Because if he did. He would get hurt.

My _father _would get hurt.

"_Oh, and if you're thinking about telling about our little talk and chat? Well don't. I really wouldn't recommend it. Trust me, if you do, you'll regret it. I'll make sure of that. And your father will pay…" _

Demetri had worked out of my weaknesses. My father. He knew that I would do anything to protect him, what he didn't know, was my other weakness. Him. The stupidly good looking vampire before me was my other weakness. He could reach me on an emotional level that others would never be able to. Edward didn't know this, and I was going to keep it that way.

If he knew. He would get hurt.

He was still staring at me when I opened my eyes, slowly as I stared at him. I summoned a strength I did not possess. I would have to attempt to pass it off as humour, hoping my eyes didn't give away what I was thinking. Though I knew that my attempt at a coy smile was certain to resemble more of a grimace.

"Split ends Edward? I'm appalled you're ready to criticize me so quickly."

And as predicted, my humour didn't work.

"What happened Lucie?" His eyes never left my gaze, my breathing hitched, it was the first time I'd _fully _noticed their colour; a salient gold. I'd forgotten his absence had been due to hunting.

"Nothing. Demetri arrived, Victoria ran off. Next thing I knew..." _I was in your arms, never wanting to be parted from them_. "I-I was back here." Edward was not impressed.

"Why can't you tell me Lucie," He whispered, our foreheads almost touching, I could feel his breath, cold against my hot face. Sending waves of dizziness through me. I blinked, trying to recapture my train of thought. But it had vanished. I could only see him. His angular cheekbones, hair glistening with diamonds.

And it was terrifying.

Because he was too good looking. It was just plain _hazardous_.

I closed my eyes again, willing to get a grip on my emotions. I couldn't afford this. Not now. Edward was perfectly capable at extracting the truth from me. Hell, all he had to do was _look _at me to make me feel dizzy. If he'd do anything more then that…

I cut my thoughts off short. Thinking about Edward doing more than staring was plain scary. I couldn't even afford to let him talk really. Not with how his velvet voice would make me feel, that too could procure the information about Demetri from me. A yawn escaped me. And snapped my mouth shut tight in horror, Edward's head snapped round at the sound.

"That does it Lucie. You're going to sleep. Now."

I looked up at him, my eyes pleading. His resolve didn't waver, his expression set in stone. I glared at him, the stony silence in the room felt electric. I wanted to suck up the energy from it. I would need it.

"I don't want to sleep!" I finally shouted at him, letting loose some frustration, he deserved it. My outburst evidently hadn't been expected and he had the grace to look taken aback. Confusion prominent on his perfect face. I looked away from that, his face, the knot twisting sharply in my stomach, a dull ache forming.

_Edward loved Bella. Bella loved Edward. _I chanted silently to myself. But there was more. _You shouldn't be ogling at his face no matter how stupidly perfect it is_! I had a strong mind to find that little mocking voice in my head, and hit it simultaneously with a large heavy object. Like a stick.

He didn't speak for a moment; we just sat there in stony silence. While I was raging a war in my head, contemplating the fact that people who argue with themselves tend to need a psychologist. But eventually my head was silent. That's all there was now. Silence. An uncomfortable one, completely different from what it was normally like, with Edward's musical voice so often filling it. As usual, he broke it, his voice formal and stiff with the hint of a sigh. I _hated _the formal voice.

The formal voice should burn in hell.

"Lucie you're tired." It wasn't a question. It was a statement, and more importantly: it was the truth; and the worse bit was, he knew it. Normally, this sort of statement would take me aback. But no. He was using the _formal _voice; the one I hated. That gave me some anger to last on.

"But I don't want to sleep." I repeated, meaning to sound stubborn, determined. Strong willed at what I wanted, and refusing to succumb so easily to his requests. It didn't work though. Instead of sounding how _I _wanted, the truth left my mouth in little less than a whisper. Revealing far too much depth in why I didn't want to sleep. I wanted closed my eyes, unwilling for him to see them. They certainly, would give away what I was feeling.

Fear.

Because despite my anger. A voice couldn't change much. Underneath I was scared. Scared because, despite everything, Edward was closer to the truth then he realised. He couldn't know about how much the Volturi's plans revolved around me. How important I was to them. Because if he knew, he would try to protect me. And then everyone would get hurt.

He stayed standing against the rack of CDs, looking at me carefully, decision wavering forming and reforming constantly on his features. I didn't speak, just averted my eyes. I'd been staring again. _And I wonder why you were staring…_

I needed that stick again.

Slowly, I looked back to my knees, hugged tightly to my chest. The wind rattled suddenly against the windows, which were open. It made an oddly disconcerting sound, more like a cry instead of wind. A whisper hanging on the night air. My stomach twisted. I knew all too well what it sounded like.

"Cold?" He asked, misinterpreting my sudden body tension, I shook my head. I suppose it looked as though I was cold, sitting like this. With gusty winds making my hair rise slightly in the faint light. But I wasn't. It felt numb again, and it terrified me. I'd thought Edward was the remedy to the numbness. In his presence my despair faded almost completely. I'd be oblivious to all else but him.

Not tonight.

"Lucie…" I hated it when he did that. Sighed my name, half in aggravation and something else. It drove me crazy, and really that wasn't another emotion I needed to add to my exceedingly long list of hellish emotions. The top four were: confusion; craziness; numbness and anger. I hated all of them. I cut my thoughts off short and looked up to find him staring at me again. "Look, you need to sleep."

I was perfectly aware I needed to _sleep_. But that wasn't something I could just achieve by closing my eyes. Nor something I'd even be able to do in his presence, however drained I was. However tried I felt. Carrying the weight of more than one person's guilt on my shoulders. Forever keeping secrets. Forever telling lies.

I was sick with it all.

I numbly noted Edward was still talking. The words meant little to me, whilst I constantly battled with my mind with the connotations that the word 'sleep' caused for me. Banishing all memories and thoughts at what had happened this morning. A morning that I had almost entirely missed due to sleep deprivation. They still continued to fight though, _his _words always wanting to haunt me. Wanting to make me cower in fear.

I concentrated more than ever on Edward's voice. Soft, melodic, a symphony of sounds that no human could ever achieve. Beautiful…

No. Those thoughts would not help either. I sighed frustrated suddenly. Whenever I tried to clear my mind, one of two things would always manage to pop up. Horror at the prospect of more dreams, and Edward. I shouldn't be thinking of either of those. Again, I felt ill. Wanting more than ever to _sleep_. To not think. To be broken free from the purgatory state of mind that constantly seemed to consume me.

"Lucie, you are going to sleep."

His tone was final. But he didn't understand. I'd had more than I could stand recently, my head ached and I was far too terrified to even consider the prospect of sleep, of what would await me in the darkness when I succumbed to it. I shuddered involuntarily. And looked up at him though my eyelashes, too tired to argue, willing him to just _understand_.

"Please Edward;" I said quietly, "I just… _can't _sleep at the moment." He stared at me for a bit, an odd expression on his face now, one that I could only describe as surprise. It stood there for a moment, looking slightly stunned for an odd reason then - in a movement too fast to be perceived as walking - crossed the room towards me.

My breathing hitched in spite of myself, and slowly, he traced one pale finger just above my cheeks, I let my eyelids flutter shut. His touch was soothing, not like ardent fire, just a single cool fingertip against the top of my cheeks, tracing the bags that would form if I continued like this.

"On one condition," He said softly, I reopened my eyes; he'd removed his finger, bending down to be level with me on his sofa. His face aligned with mine, golden eyes smouldering. "You promise to never go in those woods again." His words were serious. I just nodded slightly, dazed at his closeness. And promptly forcing on a mask that portrayed no emotion. It was a hard thing to do, look composed and relaxed, when inside you're screaming. Demetri's voice was suddenly filing my mind.

"_Sweet dreams." _

I gasped. Snapping the eyes I couldn't remember closing back open. Edward's expression was worse than before. Somehow _more _sincere.

"Please Edward," I said quietly, "I just, I need to stay awake. Yeah, I'm tired, but sleeping… it's just an option I can't afford to take." I knew if he read too deeply into my words he'd work it out. Let's face it; Edward wasn't exactly thick was he? He was still very close to me, kneeling beside the sofa, each hand on either side of me, preventing an escape. _Ha, like you'd _want _to escape?! _I hated that part of my head. It always seemed to find the truth.

"You don't want to dream Lucie," My breathing caught. I knew what he was thinking. But I couldn't sleep. Because when I dreamt, with was _not _something I wanted to do in the first place, he'd be able to see my dream. By whatever glitch we shared he'd figured it out. He'd see how the Volturi spoke to me in my dreams, the reverence in which they referred to my blood. He'd- "I can help, I'll keep the bad dreams away." Yeah. At this moment in time, I was terrified that he'd find out. _Terrified_. But still. There was no denying how ridiculous hid words sounded.

"You'll keep the bad dreams away?" I asked, heavily accenting scepticism, hoping it was enough to cover my shallow breaths. Edward's expression didn't change. Nor did his stance. It wasn't really fair, with him leaning over me like this. Stupid intimidating, annoyingly attractive, strong, vampire...

"I can if you'd like." He replied smoothly.

"And how," I said, squirming slightly so that I was in a position that did not involve being heavily overshadowed, and therefore feeling slightly less inferior, "do you propose to do that?" He replied flawlessly again, never retracting his gaze from my own.

"I could lull you into a dreamless sleep."

"Are you serious?"

"I'm always serious."

Right. Of course. Edward was _always _serious. Sorry to make assumptions.

"And how do I know that this," I arched both eyebrows (see? If I could raise one life would be _so _much easier!) At the use of my next word "'lulling' of yours will work?" I continued with the scepticism, the tone would have been perfect, if it wasn't for how erratic my pulse was.

"Because," Edward mused with a wry smile, "I'm exceptionally good at things like that."

"Oh are you?" God. I had to get away from him. My heart rate was ridiculous.

"I am." He breathed, not without a touch of innuendo. That did it. Forcefully, I stood up, staring at him and using all my will power and determination not to do something that would involve Edward's head being significantly closer to my own. I glared at him. Typical. Just typical. I _never _used to be like this. It was him. The stupid vampire in front of me was bringing out a foolish side of me.

"I think I'll pass on the offer thanks." I said a little breathlessly, I was by his CD case now, Edward just shrugged calmly and went to my side, running his fingers idly along the rows upon rows of music and books, each perfectly aligned. I suddenly had an incredibly childish urge to mess everything up and see Edward's horrified reaction.

Oh crud. I was turning into Emmett.

I plucked a book from the shelf to distract myself, knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to read a word of it with his presence. And in _his _room. I wondered if I should have gone back to the sofa and begun to read it, but Edward spoke before I could make a decision. His voice made my thoughts go crazy again. The effect he was having on me at the moment was officially becoming out of control.

"I was lying earlier." Edward said sighing as he looked at me. "You're not naive Lucie, I just couldn't find anything intellectual to say as a comeback to being called arrogant. That stung." He smiled weakly. "I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven." I said weakly. I was still holding the book; it felt silly in my hands.

I could smell him. As ridiculous as it sounded; I could. It was exactly the same, still irritably alluring. _Irresistible_. I tried to think of something other than him. And it was hard. _Very _hard. Mike was the only person I could conjure in my mind. It did the trick. But was not entirely helpful. If Edward did so much as touch me I would have probably punched him senseless. Vampire strength or no vampire strength. You just can't complete with that amount of dislike.

"Are you okay Lucie," _That _was certainly not Mike's voice. "you've got a weird look in your eyes, almost frenzied." I glared at Edward, but had no retort. What was I supposed to say? _Yeah, I probably look crazy because I was imagining punching Mike, Why? Oh you know, the usual, trying to distract myself from you. _

"I'm fine." I sighed, staring at the book in my hands. It wasn't one of my favourites; but I had read it. It was the sort of book that had an oddly good title.

"Are you going to read that?" Edward asked quietly, gently removing _The Grapes Of Wrath _from my fingers, his brushing mine slightly.

The stupid spark made me want to flinch again. I looked up to his eyes, and suddenly, all thought of the book was eradicated. It was midnight and his irises were the terrible shade of gold. And I was transfixed. Suddenly, I forgot the fact that I was meant to be thinking of anything but him. I forgot everything.

Slowly, he put the book back on the shelf; his hands were on either side me now. My heart pounded far too audibly against my ribcage. "You don't mind do you?" He said. . No, not said. _Breathed_. And breathed breathlessly, despite that he didn't need oxygen.

But I certainly did.

And I couldn't breathe because I was unsure if he was even talking about the book anymore.

"Err-" Was my intellectual response. But I didn't say anymore, because in that instant, I saw something spark in his golden eyes. Something unimaginable. _Imp__ossible_. Because he, was staring at _me _in the same way that I was staring at him.

Suddenly, I was unaware of the raging wind.

Now all I could hear was my blood pumping furiously in my ears.

Edward leant towards me, with unmistakable resolution in his eyes.

And then, it was if time stopped all together.

***

**GASPETH! **

**I demand 100 reviews for this chapter. KIDDING. I hate it when people demand…Asking is fine (I can't say that pleading is annoying. Else I'd be deemed a major hypocrite.) One or two would be nice though, I won't lie. I LOVE the reviews I keep getting. Reviews=absolouteamazingandawesomeness! Basically, reviews make my day. I'll update this story regardless, but reviews **_**will **_**speed the updates up!**

**BAH. I feel like being evil. EVIL. Hence the cliffy :) **

**Review. And then you'll find out WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN… And I'll babble on like crazy next chapter if you want… or not. I could just update without the babble… is that what caused the decrease of reviews? My insistent babbling about Swine Flu..?**

***shuts up***

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Lily- who'd really appreciate reviews to save her from her future week**** at school.. she SHOULD have spent the bank holiday doing her work... but oh no...**


	30. Forbidden Covert Desires

**HEYYYY!**

**So yeah, are you ready for my excuse on the lateness of this update? I shall blame it all on a certain stupid connection issue. My internet decided to give up on me, and I was mad. Very mad. Because I'd finished writing this darn chapter **_**3 days ago**_**… and then I couldn't post it… or go on fanfiction **_**at all **_**for that matter. I suffered… Ugh. Anyway, that's why your receiving it on a Tuesday instead of at the weekend... Or Monday, because the connection guy was 'unavailable' *grunt* A herd of nelephantswill personally apologise to you all. (If you don't receive an apologetic nelephant, it is no doubt because they are doing charitable deeds…) Sorry. **

**And, on with slightly less pointless drivelling (okay, I won't lie, the following is equally pointless :p): **

**I was tempted to name this chapter: **_**The Babble Returns**_**. Yeah, I know, how sad. But nope. I didn't, 'tis a shame. Because it would have been a very apt title, don't you agree? Aha, on the issue of babbling/rambling/drivelling/blathering/rabbiting (there are seriously **_**way **_**too many synonyms for that word… and the last one disagrees with my laptop dictionary… it claims **_**rabbiting **_**to be: the activity of hunting wild rabbits. In case you were wondering, no, that's not what I'm referring to. But I swear my dad uses that term. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm not. And I'm too lazy to delete it now.) **

**So. I was pretty shocked people. I had a very large number of reviews that claimed they **_**liked **_**my babbling. Insane, I know. I still can't believe there are 675 *GASP* reviews for this story. It's crazy. Are you people seriously saying you **_**like **_**my over-descriptiveness, weak plotline, and babble? REALLY?! *sceptical glare* So yup. By all means I am NOT complaining. If you like all that. Don't worry. There's plenty more to come. To all who requested babbling. Your wish is granted. I feel like a fairy now. ;) **

**Now. WOW. Was my response on how many reviews I got for last chapter, there I was, sitting and glaring at my **_**To Kill a Mockingbird **_**essay questions, (I still haven't done them… the mental prospect is arduous enough) and then I gave up. Succumbing to go on the hedgehog (Oh, that makes no sense. I'll elaborate: I've just made another revelation of mine. I found recently discovered, by methods of Mouse jumping onto the laptop and causing me to believe that she'd shut it down - because the entire screen went an ominous black - and therefore I assumed Mouse *foolish pest* had **_**deleted **_**all the work on it! **

**As it was, when I went to investigate the dark screen and pressed a key, it all lit up… suspicious huh? So I was curious at what Mouse had actually **_**done **_**to it, and then BAM, I discover that that my laptop has a **_**hibernate **_**setting. Yes. A hibernate setting. I shall now refer to my laptop as a hedgehog because of it. So yup. If you see the word hedgehog being used oddly, it's probably because I'm talking about my laptop. **_**Not **_**small spiky animal. But hey, you never know… knowing me I could easily babble on about the Wonders Of Hedgehogs… just like I am now…) **

**So, I succumbed to hedgehog, and promptly was flabbergasted at the sheer number of emails I had. I was a very happy person. I do believe I may have squealed. So THANKS so much for that, and a big thanks to all you anon reviews! I can't babble on in PMs to you, so you're probably very fortunate. Yup. FANTABULOUS reviews for last chappy, SO YAY! You guys are awesome, I love interesting reviews where people babble on about the many swine flu related situations they're stuck in… (I should probably stop talking/typing about that huh?) But seriously, your reviews ARE AMAZING… never feel afraid to babble in a review. And don't worry if you think you're not making sense, because in comparison to me, you're almost certainly going to be the epitome of clarity! **

**Anyway. I'll refrain from babbling till you read the chapter now. Go ahead :p**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

Slowly, he put the book back on the shelf; his hands were on either side me now. My heart pounded far too audibly against my ribcage. "You don't mind do you?" He said. No, not said. _Breathed_. And breathed breathlessly, despite that he didn't need oxygen.

But I certainly did.

And I couldn't breathe because I was unsure if he was even talking about the book anymore.

"Err-" Was my intellectual response. But I didn't say anymore, because in that instant, I saw something spark in his golden eyes. Something unimaginable. _Impossible_. Because he, was staring at _me _in the same way that I was staring at him.

Suddenly, I was unaware of the raging wind.

Now all I could hear was my blood pumping furiously in my ears.

Edward leant towards me, with unmistakable resolution in his eyes.

And then, it was if time stopped all together.

***

**Forbidden Covert Desires**

_Thinking_. It's one thing you take for granted, an involuntary process. Thinking and breathing. Two things that normally, you don't have to consciously do. It's natural; you just think and breathe, like the heartbeat. It's an automatic response for any basic stimulus. You're not meant to just _stop_.

But I had.

His eyes were level with mine. That's all I could register. His face was aligned with mine; he'd changed his stance so that I wasn't towered over anymore. His eyes were aligned with mine - blazing a brilliant gold in an emotion I knew he couldn't feel. An emotion I must have imagined. An _impossible _emotion.

His eyes were level.

His entire head was level.

His _lips _were level.

I couldn't think. I couldn't think at all. Unless staring at Edward's face in utter shock went into the thinking category. I couldn't think or move. I just stood there, frozen.

And breathing. Yeah, I couldn't do that either.

There was only one thing out of the three that was acting correctly. My pulse. My heart. If, _correctly _allowed acceptations. It wasn't acting _normally_, but it was working. My heart was beating - that counted as normal right? But its pace wasn't normal, not in the slightest, because the tempo was utterly ridiculous. Pounding against my ribs, each _thump _seemingly increasing in amplitude. And, in frequency.

I was dizzy. I wasn't receiving oxygen. Time had stopped, and so had my breath. I couldn't breathe. I was about to sway, to fall.

If it wasn't for those arms. Enclosing me.

I don't know what my expression was portraying, I had to _think_… I should have moved away by now. I should have stopped the second he'd arrived back…

He leant closer, and my heart was beating so furiously against my ribs it actually hurt.

I couldn't think earlier, and yet now, a thousand thoughts were somehow pelting at my mind. Half screaming, and half breathless. One name came forth, and it burned me, I felt air I didn't know I still contained leave my lips in an inaudible gasp of air.

_Bella. _The thought was like a stab, it left me wounded. My chest constricted painfully.

I couldn't do this. Because if Edward moved any closer, my resolve would snap. I had to get away from him. Fast. _Now_.

I tired to move away. Mentally. But I couldn't, Edward's grip tightened - as if he'd predicted the movement. Seen it in my wide eyes. Eyes that would be giving far too much away. Eyes that would _betray _me. But he never broke the contact between his golden ones and my own. And slowly, he leant closer still. I felt my eyelids flutter shut involuntarily. I didn't know what he was going to do. I still couldn't think.

I still couldn't _breathe_.

Instead though. He merely leant his forehead against mine. Resting the cool touch against my heat. Bringing his hand slowly to touch my parted lips. I snapped my eyes back open to see a crooked smile tugging at the corners of his own. Ice against burning heat. The touch shocked me against my skin still occurred at his touch. But I didn't flinch. There was no way I'd ever flinch because of that. The energy between us was like the charged atmosphere before a lightning storm.

"I need you to breathe Lucie." He whispered, it could have been the quietest thing I'd ever heard him say, but I didn't know for sure. To know things, you have to be able to think, it was pretty compulsory. He was still staring at me. I couldn't do anything in response to these words though.

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe.

My head swam slightly, the gold in Edward's eyes was leaking everywhere; it was all I could see, gold, flecked with black. I was blinded by it. I could hear his voice again, his face slowly materialised, no longer smiling, a serious expression that was mirrored in the tone of his next words.

"Lucie, breathe. Now."

It took several seconds for me to respond to his words. My head was spinning dangerously; I was on the brink of collapse. Edward was right. I had to breathe. I was going to faint. _And I could start to dream… _That was it. I _had _to breathe. I couldn't let that happen.

I did. Letting out a small shaky breath. It wasn't enough to steady my pulse, but I didn't feel like I was going to lapse into unconsciousness now, I merely felt light-headed. I wondered what had caused that. The reason was plain before me, he gave me an approving look at that.

But suddenly, he froze, it was an infinitesimal change in posture, but I noticed it. We were after all, still _very _close; my back was against the bookcase. I ignored that thought promptly; my pulse did _not _need to beat any faster. Instead I concentrated on what was behind me. Trying to recite times tables in my head, trying to remember the exact functions of-

But then he had to lean closer. Honestly, I was trying _not _to think of him, with him leaning closer to me, I couldn't not think about him.

"No meaning to alarm you," Edward said softly in my ear. Keeping his finger to my lips, as if asking me to stay silent. I jumped slightly at his voice and held in a shudder at the sensation of his breath against my skin, as he continued to whisper, never leaving my gaze, "but Alice will be coming to check on me in about - two minutes." I couldn't think properly. Why? Well, he _had _just breathed his stupid alluring scent over me. Most of my attention was on that. _Alice is coming… _

Okay. What was the significance of that? I just nodded in response, trying to push down a strange and irrational feeling of disappointment that I didn't understand. I looked back to him though, frowning as I voiced my confusion.

"What's so bad about Alice?" I couldn't quite mask how out of breath I still was, my words came out mumbled against his finger.

A small smile was tugging at the corners of his lips, he looked as if he was about to suppress a laugh.

"Lucie, Alice is coming." He repeated, I scowled at his patronizing tone. "And," His eyes raked over my attire then, the small smile still in place, "you're not in pyjamas." he added, his tone suggested this as an explanation. Like it was an answer. _Yeah, because now everything makes loads more sense! _I thought sarcastically_. _I looked down at my clothes though, he was right, I wasn't wearing pyjamas.

"Wow Edward. How observant." I muttered. Oh dear, the sarcasm was a bit too obvious there. Edward didn't scold me though, he looked too amused. I tried to clear my head. It was becoming increasingly annoying that I couldn't understand.

"Lucie. You are not in your pyjamas, Alice is going to come into here," He gestured the room, and the movement put a small distance between us.

Thank god.

I relaxed; probably too visibly. But I didn't care. The chances of me making a fool of myself had now officially decreased by about 50%. I don't think his proximity before had done anything to help the coherency of my thoughts. They cleared slightly now.

And the horror slowly sunk in.

"_Alice_!" I squeaked, oh no. Edward was right, I wasn't wearing pyjamas… Which meant Alice would demand to force me into some, which would almost certainly be made of silk. My eyes darted frantically around the room. I needed to hide!

"Lucie, you look like your about to have a panic attack." Edward commented, his voice was the epitome calm, tinged with amusement. How the hell could he stay calm?! Alice was coming. She was going to force me into more silk. Calm was a _completely _irrational emotion to be feeling. Edward was _crazy_. I scrambled over to the bed, tripping in my haste. An arm steadied me; I looked up to Edward with panicked eyes.

"What can we do?" I hissed. My heart jolted slightly at his touch.

"You're going to feign sleep." He murmured to me quietly, "And be silent."

"Feign sleep? What? You cannot be serious Edward," My voice was rising but my thoughts about Alice had somehow been eradicated, sleep brought up too many other thoughts, I glared at Edward. He couldn't be serious. "I swear Edward, if this is some plan to get me to sleep, so help me I'll-"

"Shush." He drawled, his voice was husky. He stared at me; his words were quick and low. "Alice will be in hearing distance in 30 seconds, so listen to me Lucie, pretend to fall asleep right now or you will have to endure several hours of makeovers."

I didn't really have much choice did I?

Edward was still staring at me. I glared back, but slumped into his arms, in an instant I felt his soft sofa beneath me. It was hard to keep my face relaxed when I wanted to scowl. Edward would no doubt be smug after this. I lay silent, not daring to open my eyes. Quietly brooding how I was going to punish Edward if this was all some sort of joke. I was just about to huff impatiently and open my eyes when I heard lithe footsteps on the floor.

Horror filled me at the sound of Alice's tinkling voice. I could practically see the arrangements of pyjamas she had in store for me.

I could only pray that my acting skills were up for scratch.

"Edward, you're back." Alice's wind chime voice didn't sound surprised, this was merely a statement.

"I do believe I am." Edward murmured quietly.

"Is Lucie asleep?" Alice's voice was suspicious. I could feel her eyes on me, waiting for a slip up on my act. It was becoming increasingly difficult to lay still, my leg wanted to twitch.

"She has been since I've arrived back." Of course, Edward's voice was flawlessly convincing. Typical. This thought made me want to growl. Feigning sleep is officially very hard.

"Can you see what's happening? She seemed reluctant to sleep earlier," Alice's voice was quiet; I had to strain my ears to hear. But I didn't like what she was saying. I didn't like what could happen. Alice was completely correct; I had been reluctant, now I was adamant about not sleeping. Not when I knew would happen. The sofa beneath me seemed to harden. My skin registered the bitter air. And I felt my heart rate rise in panic.

"They're blurred, no more substantial then images at the moment. She doesn't always have those visions when she goes unconscious." _Lie_. I thought silently. "No you're right on that one. And no, I don't understand it either, Carlisle tried to find the cause, that's why he's been in the study all this time. What?" I suddenly realised why Edward's quick voice was making no sense whatsoever to me. I could only hear half the conversation.

Well great.

Edward continued, but his voice lacked the friendliness from before. It was tense now. I wanted to see Alice's thoughts. Something she was thinking evidently caused his change in tone.

"No Alice. I've already spoken about this. You're visions are susceptible change, you know that even better than I."

"Edward," Alice's trilling voice was agitated. I had missed a crucial part of their conversation and now whatever they were discussing would not make sense. "Don't deny it. My visions around her are different, each one's been murky. Her entire life is revolved around the past, any minute she could relive someone else's. I think that's why my visions of her are constantly clouded," My eyes were itching to see their expressions. And a sinking feeling slowly made my way down to the pit of my stomach. I now knew fully well what they were discussing. Alice's voice didn't stop like before though. Maybe Edward was blocking her thoughts.

"I can't see her future clearly. Except now Edward. And I know what I saw. The timing is unclear but it's set in concrete unless you do something to change that. If you keep denying what's happening Edward then there's no telling what will happen. Denial is a safe haven Edward, you'll be able to live with it for a while longer, but then when you realise the exact impact of your situation it'll be too late. By then, disaster will have struck."

And then there was a silence. A silence filled with tension. And a silence I wanted to fill with my bombardment of questions. None of what Alice had just trilled had made sense to me. What situation? Why did Jasper and Alice keep bringing up the issue that Edward was in denial? This was just plain annoying. I couldn't understand what Alice had said and yet part of me knew I really _should _have known.

"I'll see you in the morning Edward. Just think about it."

There was a soft sound of footsteps on the floor before the silence settled again. And cautiously I opened my eyes.

Edward wasn't looking at me. His mouth was a hard line and his forehead was furrowed. I sat up; somehow in the minuscule amount of time between Alice coming in the room and my feigning sleep, he'd still managed to drape the heavy quilt around me. I pulled it off, and held in the shiver that followed when the cool air hit my exposed arms.

I decided to speak, Edward wasn't making much progress, he looked sullen. I found myself wondering what Alice's words had meant. I didn't understand the meaning behind them, but Edward probably did. Maybe that was to account for his now troubled expression. I let out a low gust of air as I stumbled to find something to say.

"Well, we fooled Alice." He smiled slightly, though the look did not reach his eyes.

"Yes, we did." Formal. That's the only word that could be used to describe his voice now. Formal. I hated formal. I thought we were past that, but no. I was mistaken.

Another silence.

"What was Alice thinking?" I didn't mean to ask that. Curiosity burned through my words though, a shadow passed across Edward's eyes. The air in the room now felt significantly colder.

"Nothing to worry about." Edward replied curtly. I gave up on trying to make him less formal. I just scowled at him. Moody Edward was annoying. And the use of the word _annoying _was an understatement.

"Nothing to worry about? Then why, pray tell, do you look so sulky Edward?" I muttered haughtily, reverting my eyes to his feet. He was weaning worn trainers, Alice definitely hadn't chosen them. When I looked up, Edward looked amused. Amused? I found nothing humorous about what I'd just said. But here it was, plain on his perfect face. Amusement did nothing to improve my mood.

"Pray tell?" He questioned, I could hear the smirk in his tone. It would be very unwise of him to let the said smirk fall across his lips. I felt cross. Smirking would not improve that. I didn't reply to his remark, instead resorting to glaring at the floor.

"Shut up." I grumbled, regretting the use of that phrase. I don't actually know what made me say it. It sounded Shakespeare-esque but I wasn't sure. My brain wasn't cooperating with me today. I knew exactly who to blame for that particular glitch.

"You're in a bad mood." He commented lightly. He was right of course. I resisted the urge to sigh again. It wasn't very hard to pinpoint why. I knew if he thought about it he'd understand. I had been sleep deprived for a week now. There was bound to be some after effects. Bad mood included. Besides, it wasn't necessarily the lack of sleep that caused me to be cross. It was just _him_.

"Maybe I'm ill." I muttered crossly. Only after I'd said the words did I realise my mistake. I'd just speculated that I could be ill to Edward Cullen. Edward-incredibly-over reactive-Cullen who was sure to take my 'not feeling well' akin to the likes of dying. His gaze swooped over me critically; it took a second for me to understand his expression. He was _analyzing _me. A small frown line appearing on his impeccable forehead. I saw the look in his eyes. I knew he was debating whether he was going to call Carlisle to check on me, probably in precaution for some serious illness that I might have spontaneously caught.

I groaned.

Edward's eyes widened further. Well crud. Making that sort of sound was not going to convince him that I was feeling any better, was it? He started to move towards me, a hand outstretched ready to see if I had a temperature. I batted away the hand and he looked confused. I glared in response. It was typical of him.

I wouldn't be surprised if he conjured up a stethoscope.

***

I stared at the floor.

I was still sat on his sofa. I'd done so after our conversation had been mainly complied of me assuring I was in perfect health and that I didn't need to be checked on. Then Edward had argued some more about me needing sleep and I'd promptly become tired of the tedium, which was why I now sat here. I'd made a vow when I sat; I was not going to look at him again. I couldn't think straight when I did.

And averting my eyes from him hadn't resolved my problems, if anything, it had made things worse. I could _feel _his gaze still on me. And I didn't know what to make of it. I knew all to well the way I sometimes looked at him, and constantly had to side track my thoughts because of that. But I had no idea how Edward looked at me. Or even _why _he looked at me. Concern was probably the most evident reason, but it held too much sincerity. I could tell he was watching for any signs of tiredness from my part, and this only added to my stress levels.

The floor was really not gripping my attention.

I tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear frowning slightly. The worst part was that without Edward to look at, other thoughts were now hitting me. And they were far from nice. Cold sinister voices would threaten to take over again. I wanted to scream in the mental effort I was putting into not succumbing. My eyes felt heavy, they continued to flicker half shut every few seconds. Desiring sleep. But I couldn't allow that. Not with my dreams. Not where Demetri could reach me, _haunt _me.

Because if I dreamt; so would Edward. I could suffer. I could endure the tiredness; after all, I'd done so for the past week, only catching snippets of proper rest. Sure, I'd slept, if you could define the word _slept _as closing your eyes and being plagued with nightmares, then yes. I'd done that a lot recently. But that wasn't sleeping. I felt _more _tired after my dreams. They took too much out of me.

Which was just one of the reasons why I loathed them so.

Edward had kept insisting me to sleep earlier; I'd been close to telling him why I couldn't. Close to telling him the truth. Too close. If he knew what I endured each night, it would make everything worse. The conversation I'd had with Demetri had to stay a secret - a horrible twisted secret that was constantly making me sick - but a secret nonetheless. I knew he'd feel bad about that, he'd find away to blame the problem on himself. And I couldn't let that.

I couldn't see Edward hurt.

It physically hurt to keep my eyes open now, tiredness kept trying to envelope me. I wouldn't let that happen. I couldn't let that happen.

And so I gave in, and looked at him.

I suppose I really shouldn't have been so surprised to see him staring back.

I didn't care about the vow to myself earlier, it fell away becoming little more substantial then dust in my mind. I looked into his eyes, the brilliant gold, bright despite the darkness. I willed that alone to stop my fear, steadily increasing inside me, the same fear that twisted my stomach and made my lungs constrict. It struck me as odd that neither of us attempted to speak. But the silence was not uncomfortable, I was always one for silence, and I was glad Edward wasn't those who constantly tried to fill it. Though if he _did, _I wouldn't complain, his melodic voice was a harmony no human could compare to.

But as I stared into his eyes, trying to decipher the emotion that smouldered behind them, I couldn't help the question that bubbled to my lips.

"Why are you staring at me?" Of course, my voice had to breathless.

"Because you're the most interesting thing in here." Wow. Edward was good with compliments. I as now officially classed as a 'thing' was I? Great. I decided to talk to him, it was the best distraction I had. And I needed it. Sarcasm was a refuge I was willing to take; it could conceal my fear to sleep. I had to do everything to prevent that.

"Even more so then your most precious collection of CDs?"

"Why yes. I do believe you are." He murmured softly.

"High praise." I said, smiling slightly, and standing up. Sitting down didn't help with the tiredness issue. I was sure if I sure if I'd spent any longer on the sofa I would have drifted off. I carefully made my way across his floor, but there was nothing to trip up on. Nothing. I doubted there was a spec of dust on this floor. It was unnaturally clean.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked when I walked to his bookcase. Thinking about his floor much longer could have driven me insane. I turned to him slowly, a different book clasped in my hands from earlier. Taking the same one again would have been too embarrassing, and obviously not coincidental. I did not want a repeat of before.

_Oh don't you? _

I felt like killing something at the sound of that voice. Preferably _it_. Though I was sure in the act of trying to separate that particular part of my head from myself I would probably die. Which wasn't exactly the nicest prospect. Still, it should be banished to silence. I focused sharply on Edward again; he still seemed unwilling to look at me. Much like he had done earlier.

I bit my lip. Edward's expression was strange. Maybe he didn't like me touching his books. They were all neatly aligned; I was certain in alphabetical order or something too. In fact, _everything _about Edward's room seemed pristine. Meticulously tidy.

Plain creepy if you ask me.

"Well, I was wondering if I could read this," I mumbled, staring at the book, "and…" I looked around the room again. The question blurted out from my lips. I just couldn't shut up."Edward, do you have OCD?"

Edward frowned at me.

"No." He said stiffly. Looking away from me. I felt a small smile twitch the corners of my lips. Inside my mind was cheering at his cross reaction. Yes! I was having an effect on him. It was nice to not be on the receiving end for a change.

"I think you're lying." I mused.

"I'm not." His tone was curt.

"Well then," I said craftily, a genius plan - that Emmett was sure to congratulate me on - forming in my mind. "you won't mind me doing this, will you?" Edward's expression was confused; he still didn't understand what I was getting at. The fool.

I grinned, in one quick movement, I started to disorganise his selection of books, haphazardly rearranging them. I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath behind me. The sound of it made me grin vindictively.

And suddenly, my hands were pinned behind me. And I was somehow halfway across the room.

I looked up to him. His expression was, for it can only be described as one thing, utterly hilarious.

"Don't do that again." He warned his mouth a hard line, lips firmly pursed together as he glared at me. I stopped thinking about that. My back was flat against the window; the cold glass was an odd contrast to my skin. Was it just me, or did Edward always seem to push me into really uncomfortable surfaces? Honestly. A tree; a bookcase; a window. What else _was _there?

Again. I promptly diverted my thoughts from that. It wasn't like each of those conversations had involved much coherency to think from my part. It was prudent to talk. I had to talk. I had to say something smart before my head would go dizzy again. Edward was not going to make me look like an idiot _again_. I was officially putting my foot down on that matter.

"You definitely have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Edward." I said calmly, fighting a smile. This conversation was definitely heading in my favour.

"I. Do. Not." He emphasized the last word, his words punctuated articulate aggravation.

"Then why won't you let me touch the books?" I pressed.

"Because…" He grumbled. The light was shining on him, casting shadows across his angular face, it struck me as strange how long his eyelashes were, each carbon black, and framing his golden eyes like spindled ink. I was momentarily memorized by that. I didn't hear the rest of his words, once again all too aware of how close he was.

My breathing hitched; it gave me away. Edward looked at me, arching one perfect eyebrow. That was enough to give me some small irritation. Irritation that I would have to concentrate on hard to ban out other thoughts. "Why are you looking at me Lucie?" Edward asked. In parody of what I had previously accused him of doing.

"Because Edward," I huffed, "you're practically squishing me into this window and there's really not much else in my line of sight. Except. You." _And several other reasons regarding your inhuman looks and how they keep sidetracking me_. I didn't say the last part allowed; so far that was a pretty good comeback. He looked at me for a second, and I couldn't understand the expression in his eyes. But then he was off me, carefully strolling back to his CD case and turning on some soft music. I didn't understand the notion. Edward looked as if he was almost trying to _distract _himself.

But that was ridiculous. What would _he _need distracting from?

***

**Edward's POV:**

This girl is going to be the death of me.

I tried to command my corded muscles to loosen, with little effect. I was tense; I couldn't _not _be with her this close to me. The music in the background did little to divert my attention from her. Somehow I was next to her again; it was unnerving how I was forever drawn to be near her. Unnerving and dangerous. She was smart. Using my tactic of petty arguments to divert the tension before. I didn't object to that; arguments with her were fascinating. I wasn't used to arguing with someone who could counter attack my jibes. She could though. It was another thing about her that I didn't understand.

I was mad at Alice. Lucie's attire did nothing to avert my attention from her, the top mirrored the night sky, and it revealed the pale skin curving away at her hollow. For some inexplicable reason, my eyes continued to wander there. I was angry at Alice for that. I knew Lucie didn't like wearing these close, her constant shifting and fidgeting proved as much. The girl was oblivious to how she looked. It baffled me to say the least. Though I was on the same train as thought as she, I didn't particularly want her to wear those sorts of clothes either. They drew attention to her. The wrong sort of attention. One that she didn't need to deal with.

Her eyes grew wide as she realised our proximity fully, and I was momentarily stunned by her wide eyes. I didn't realise I had made her angry. But it was evident I had. Even as I watched though, the irritation slowly left them, now only an ivy green as apposed to luminous emerald. Impossibly, her eyes grew even larger; a low gasp filtered through her lips parted lips. I found that I could not fully interpret her expression, because she was looking at me as if she has never seen me before, with intolerable and yet uttermost awe.

And I feared that I was looking at her in exactly the same way.

"Can I read this then?" She asked quietly, biting her lip slightly in waiting for my response. Trepidation was plain of her tongue. It was endearing to me really. The way her innocence shone brightly at times like this. Apprehension was not a connotation I would commonly use for her. She was more determined than I could have imagined, so often she would resort to petulance when she didn't get her way, and would seemingly get annoyed at herself for this. I presumed why this was why she so often resorted to sarcasm.

But not now. She did not look petulant. Nor sarcastic like previously. She looked nervous, worry portrayed in the act of biting her bottom lip. I tried not to think about that though, I'd already been far too close to her tonight, and her biting her lip was not helping matters in the slightest. And it made me anxious; she was biting it too hard. It drove me half crazy with desire. And I felt sick at that. I only hoped she wouldn't bleed because of the pressure her teeth were exerting onto it. This thought had my mind whirring again, I felt like running. I couldn't think of her like that. The temptation of her blood was worse tonight, despite my previous hunt. She was still looking at me, I hadn't replied yet. I couldn't really speak, I just nodded, carefully placing a good distance behind us, and grabbing a sketchbook in the process. I had to distract myself.

She smiled at me then. A real smile. Not her usual small grin of amusement, delicate smirk, or tense almost smile she tended to use at school. No, this was a completely different one. Her whole face lit up when she smiled, making her now caramel hazel eyes shine brightly.

_She should smile like that more often_. I mused silently to myself, but stopped the thought. I knew all to well why she didn't smile like that often. It wasn't exactly the happiest of times. And I knew the reason for not sleeping was deeper then she was willing to let me know. This thought irked me. She wouldn't tell me what was eating her up inside. And I hated that such a girl as she had to suffer. There was no justice in the world.

She must have noticed my staring (in my defence, I couldn't help it, her sudden happiness was fascinating to me) because a blush instantly coloured her cheeks, a supple rose against the alabaster cream. She looked down quickly, back to the book clasped in her lap, and eagerly began to read. I wondered how she could seem so enthralled by the simple object, though I could understand her need for a distraction. That was, after all, the reason for the music and sketchbook. Though surely she didn't need to be distracted, and even if she did. I knew it wasn't because of me.

She was strangely captured by the book, her expressions would flicker every few moments at whatever she was reading, but she seemed to have forgotten all else. Her hair fell over her face slightly, disrupting my view, it just touched her lap. Spilling over the book she was devouring. (With her eyes, that is. She wasn't literally _eating _the book, that would have been slightly odd.)

Her hair was nearly completely out of the intricate braids Alice had woven. It was wavy from them, a stray lock continued to fall across her eyes and she would brush it back impatiently. It took all my restraint not to touch it myself. I could still remember her reaction earlier; it filled me with a new sense of dread. I knew she was hiding something; that much was certain. I frowned at this. My distraction was pathetic. My eyes continued to wander back to her. Sitting cross legged on my couch, as if the world had fallen away behind her. I stared down at my blank page, willing other thoughts to fill my mind. Ones different from the human girl.

But my patience waned again. Blank pages had little to keep me distracted. And drawing wasn't going to be easy when I couldn't think of anything to use as a subject. I wanted to groan in my lack of effort and perseverance. And I just gave in to looking at her again.

It was reprehensible really.

The full incandescent moon peaked from behind the clouds then, I looked towards the sky, relieved for even the briefest of distractions. The sight that lay ahead was an odd colour tonight. Almost an indigo and violet darkness, flecked with dim stars behind dark clouds. It cast a faint ribbon of silver light though my wide windows, they were open like usual, and it suddenly occurred to me that Lucie should have been cold. The thought had my gaze flickering back to her slender frame. She _should _be cold. I wanted to draw the quilt Alice had provided around her. But she wasn't showing any signs of discomfiture, oblivious to icy air and the moonlight now shining on her.

She didn't notice, still captured in the book. Her blonde hair shined in the light, making her look like a fallen angel. An angel who for some reason was exceptionally partial to books. And at that exact moment, I mused in my head not listening to my music at all; her name seemed exceedingly apt. Luciana. Illumination. I suddenly knew what I wanted to draw.

I could tell she hated her name. That alone was apparent by her frequent scowls whenever someone used it. Again, this amused me. Little did she and Bella know how much meaning their names held. And how accurate they were.

I concentrated hard on the music then, my hand was moving furiously beneath me. She'd been unaware as to why I had done this previously. I had needed a distraction from her. And badly at that. She didn't understand what effect she had on me; and neither did I. Now though, my thoughts were on a different path. A darker one. One which was stereotypical for my kind to think about. One that disgusted me. I no longer concentrated on the music because of her eyes, withholding far too much innocence and confusion. No. I wished my reason now for a distraction was as pure as that. As normal any human male would have around her.

But I wasn't human.

And I never would be again.

The truth did not hurt me. It was just a blunt fact. I just knew I had to do all within my power to not damn anyone else to this existence. The purgatory that accompanied grace and beauty. Little did humans know how being immortal was hell. How being a monster would plague them for eternity. And how hard it was to resist to desire and temptation when their power was so intolerably prodigious.

No, now I was listening to the music with more intensity than before. Willing its notes to tune out the sound emitting from her chest. It wasn't working; the music was too slow. I was disgusted at myself for the thoughts in my mind. Because her heart had increased in tempo suddenly, evidently reading a tense moment in her book. As much as I wanted to look at her. I didn't. Her pulse was erratic under her fragile skin, fine silk stretched over glass. A fragility that the monster inside me desperately wanted to break forever. Even now, as her breathing returned to normal, her pulse resuming its steady rhythm, part of me wanted, _craved _her blood. Would do anything to be closer to her, to feel to full effect of her blood, so often prominent in her cheeks.

It revolted me.

I turned back to the sketchbook in my lap, unwilling as ever to do much in it. I never used to draw a lot, music was really my field, but I'd been intrigued ever since I'd met Lucie. I had to avert my thoughts from her again. I hate this. The confusion. I could no longer trust my emotions, not when they left me this confused and lost. Jasper's words still rung in my mind. I hate that my memory only enhanced his words.

"_You're so blind."_

I was not blind. I understood perfectly what he thought. What everyone thought. _Except her and Bella. _They were the only two who I could not reach. I hated that. Because I knew something was happening. Lucie's looks were the quintessence of confusing to me. I couldn't understand the emotions that flickered two and fro in her eyes. Eyes that so often provided me with insight. Eyes that had this evening, predominantly been emerald. I would never admit it to her how much I relished when she was angry. Irritation suited her. Radiance from the wide green eyes was all I saw. It was irrational; I knew when her eyes were green she was either irritated or angry. And most commonly at myself. But I couldn't help it. I needed to see her eyes like that. It was amusing her anger. With someone so fragile withholding so much power. And being complexly unaware of it.

I hated myself. Loathed every part of my being for thinking like this. I knew if I was stronger I would have left by now. I should leave. I couldn't let her get any closer, not with the danger that would ensue. I wanted to hate her. I wanted to hate the young human on my couch for making me confused. I knew I should aggravate her. I should make her hate me. That was the only way that she'd stay safe.

And then there was Bella. She alone was an enigma. Unpredictable and beautiful. I loved her for that. Before I'd met her, my world had been shrouded in darkness, little meant to me, I could deal with trivial dramas then. But since I'd met her, the trivial dramas had fallen away. There was no doubt in my love for her. I was _in _love with her. And I had known the risks for this even as I fell. But I couldn't understand her at the moment. She seemed hesitant to be around me, unwilling to meet my gaze. I just wanted her _happy_. Bella would never understand this; she was selfless, blind to the fact that her happiness was my priority above all else. Yet her soft brown eyes were always troubled when our gazes met, she didn't seem content anymore. And I knew this simple fact was slowly ripping me apart.

And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Suddenly, a movement caught my attention. I saw Lucie's figure slump slightly against the couch. The book she'd been so enthralled in fell from her grasp, but the soft thud did not startle her awake. I saw her eyelashes flutter shut. I knew she'd been tired. I didn't know how much sleep she'd been getting over the past few days, but I knew she wasn't enough. Even from where I sat frozen, the sketchbook laid across my lap, I could see the pale colour of her eyelids. I couldn't fathom why she'd been so objectionable to sleep before. Now, with her expression relaxed, it was impossible to imagine why she'd tried to prevent it.

And then the screaming started.

I looked at her in suddenly I couldn't see her slender figure,_ darkness swirled around me, dark shapes moved closer to me as I felt my throat constrict. My senses were abysmal as I stared, my sight impaired for whatever reason. I could only see_ her_. She was staring at the darkness, trying like me to make out the murky shadows. The fear on the air was paramount, practically tangible._

_And then I could see the red._

But at the same time I could see Lucie, on my couch, shaking as convulsions of terror surpassed her. The small whispers escaping her lips; blue from lack of oxygen. She was chalk white, the prominent blush had vanished. I didn't think about how tempting her blood was. Pulsing feverishly beneath her fragile skin, little more of protection to her than silk. Even now the monster inside me roared in approval to our close proximity. But I didn't care for how close I was to her furious pulse. I had to stop her fear at all costs. That was the only thought that was in my mind.

Lucie's posture softened; it was scarcely noticeable, but I saw it, and my fingers tingled from their point of contact with her skin. Unable to resist, I let my palm mould itself to the shape of her face. The softening in her figure intensified, her breathing was still shallow but less laboured now, the dream was slowly dispelled from her thoughts.

I stared at her in my arms and sighed inwardly.

Alice's words rang clear in my ears.

"_Denial is a safe haven Edward, you'll be able to live with it for a while longer, but then when you realise the exact impact of your situation it'll be too late. By then, disaster will have struck."_

Little did she know that disaster had already found me.

***

**Lucie's POV: **

_Darkness materialised around me, everything was shrouded in shadow. The murky darkness caused my chest to constrict, I knew something was wrong. Everything was odd. Murky shapes presented themselves to my eyes, everything was vague, indistinct. I couldn't work out what was happening around me._

_Until I saw the red._

_The dull crimson eyes shone back at me, each sinister and dark despite their brightness. I could feel the scream building in my throat. _

_And then he was before me. Demetri was leering at me, a smirk twisting up the corners of his lips; redder than last time I'd seen them. The same colour as his eyes. I saw a dribble of crimson roll down the side of his pearl jaw line. My eyes widened in horror. But he didn't cease his movements, eerily graceful. I could feel his tainted breath at my ear, whispering words that would surely haunt me._

"_You're still not running."_

And that's when I felt a cold hand covering my mouth.

I gasped for breath, my throat burning, sitting up suddenly and causing my head to throb painfully. I didn't know where I was. I couldn't determine what was real and what wasn't. It was too hot, scorching, and I couldn't breathe. I was used to dreams as sharp as reality; these new indistinct ones should have been a relief. But they weren't. It was worse in the chaos, the confusion.

A lump was in my throat, I still couldn't breathe. And then I remembered where I was.

And with a stab I remembered who was with me.

I tried to stand up. I had to get away. I couldn't stand this. What had he seen? What had he worked out? The questions were fierce and frantic in my head, as I rushed to move away. Stumbling off the sofa and barely standing upright. In my haste, I realised I'd got head rush when the vertigo hit, my feet were suddenly unsteady on the ground. My head spun; I saw the room tilt slightly. And the far too similar sensation of falling arose.

I squeezed my eyes shut, ready for the impact that would knock the breath out of me. The one that was sure to promote the scream ready to leave my parched throat.

But the impact didn't arrive.

I reopened my eyes, only to find myself suspended by him. My breath left my lips in a shaky gasp. His eyes bored into mine. And I was terrified he'd had worked it all out. Terrified he'd seen it all. And understood it.

Slowly, as if afraid of scaring me, he gently moved a hand to my cheek, wiping away tears I hadn't known were there. Only using one arm to suspend me. Instantly, I felt ashamed for crying. Letting my weakness show. But the tears continued to cascade hot and fast down my cheeks, they made my vision blurry. The sensation of tears felt odd against my numb cold cheeks. I tried to wipe them away, but he stopped me with his hand. I didn't object, his cool touch was far more soothing than my shaking one.

"You're crying." Edward noted, his voice low and intense, still staring at me. I bit my lip, trying to stop the tears that fell. Why now? Why couldn't I be _alone _to cry? I heard an odd cracked sound, and was horrified when I realised I was the one who was making it.

"S-sorry." I spluttered, the tears were slowly ceasing, I felt humiliation stain my cheeks. He tensed, looking down at me cautiously, his golden eyes burning with a new kind of fervour. This time, I didn't look away.

"Never apologise for crying Lucie." He whispered intensely.

"I should." I replied, my voice was cracking. "It's stupid of me, and not to mention irrational. I'm pathetic by crying and I hate doing it."

Edward still wouldn't look away from me, one granite arm suspending my entire figure. I couldn't stop from asking the questions in my mind. I needed some answers. Staying in the dark did nothing to help. "What did you see? H-how did you stop it?" I tired to make light humour of the conversation. "Did you use your powers of 'lulling' to stop it?" He didn't laugh or smile. Maybe I was awful at cracking jokes.

"I saw what you saw. And I stopped it by holding you; lulling wasn't required." He murmured gently, for some reason more tears rolled down my cheeks. Stupid pointless moisture. I didn't care if the enzyme lysozyme was meant to prevent bacteria harming my eye. It was stupid. Tears were stupid. Lysozyme was stupid. Enzymes were stupid.

I was stupid.

"Sorry." I said again, I felt pathetic like this.

"Crying is a luxury. And you alone deserve it more than most."

His words were low as he looked at me. I broke the silence quickly, feeling need to explain why I hated to cry. I tried to refrain from using the word stupid when speaking though.

"It can be perceived as a luxury; but it isn't. It leaves you hollow and drained. It's far too strenuous to even consider doing and I hate it. You never cry, you must understand that." I mumbled, furious at myself for letting this happen. Edward's face crumpled at my words. It took a second for me to realise why, but by then he was already speaking. A remote look in his golden eyes. It tore the hole inside me wide open.

"I can't cry; only humans can cry. Not monsters." He tone was bitter, filled uttermost loathing. I felt awful. I was so stupid. So _tactless_.

"You're not a monster." I whispered fiercely, "You'll never be a monster."

"I already am." He refused to meet my gaze now. Though I could feel his single armed grip on me tighten. "I have been a monster for over a hundred years Lucie, nothing will ever change that."

"Don't think of yourself as a monster. Ever."

"If I did that; I would be denying the truth."

What was with the Cullens and the word _denial _recently?

"No," I disagreed fervently, "if you did that, then you'd understand how you defy everyone's expectations so."

He was cut short at that, slowly bringing his gaze back to my own. I was unsure if this was better or worse. I just knew it was a danger to my heart's condition. Yet again.

"Defy everyone's expectations?" he said, smiling wryly. Though it didn't reach his eyes.

"Well you defy mine."

This was why he couldn't look at me. Because when he did, I let loose too much. When he looked at me; I became little more then liquid. I melted. I turned little more then the stupid moisture rolling down my cheeks. As cheesy as it sounded I did. The house could have collapsed around us and I wouldn't have noticed.

I knew I was in too deep.

"And besides," My lips were trembling as an emotion flooded me. I didn't even know what it was. Perhaps hurt, pity, regret. Anything to describe how awful I felt at seeing Edward upset. I could see the bravado he so often used as a mask slip away, the arrogance had left him completely now. It was hard to imagine that he even possessed it before. "You can only be a monster if others see you as one."

He looked back towards the night sky again.

"I am monster. I disgust people."

"You don't disgust me." I whispered, and without a second to consider my actions, without _thinking_, I touched his marble face.

What happened next was not what I would have expected.

I felt myself being flung across the room.

Edward was glaring at me; he'd managed to place a distance of two meters between us.

"Don't." He growled. I stared at him in shock, my arm hurt slightly from where it had hit the wall but I didn't let him know. I held in a wince at the damage the impact had done. A different hurt filled me though. Hurt and humiliation. I stared at him in shock for a few more moments. His expression did not diminish, remaining cold and hard. He saw my stares and laughed coldly. "I don't want your pity."

I stared at him. And I hated that I wanted to cry again. This was the real reason why I was so adamant about _not _crying. Because when you cry around someone, you let yourself become vulnerable. The act of crying leaves you drained, you're only meant to cry if there's someone left to comfort you. I'd worked for two years not to be like that again.

I knew exactly why I'd vowed not to cry again. I hated the memory now firmly stuck in my head. It was one after my mother had died, the time when my father was little more than a broken shell. It was torture to see him like that. I couldn't stand the desolation in his eyes when he looked at me. But I knew why it seemed to intensify when he did. I looked like her; my mother. I had her fair complexion, same blonde hair, only her eyes were different. Where hers were moss green, mine were hazel. A mixture of brown and green. But still, the similarity was dominant between my mother and me. I reminded him everyday of what he'd lost. He had barely coped in that dark time. He hardly ever cried, but he had done then. And when I'd asked him if he was okay his reply had broken my heart. I could still hear the words. _"I don't think I'll ever be okay Luciana, but I'll fight because of you. I don't want to see you crying now; we're going to get through this. I promise we are." _That was why I vowed never to cry again. My father had been broken, and so was I. Crying never resolved anything. And it never would.

And yet here I was now, with tears from earlier drying on my cheeks. I hated Edward for letting this happen. I hated him for twisting my mind into thinking impossible thoughts. I hated his manipulation.

And most of all. I hated my self for believing he liked me. Hate was a strong word. I used it for only a few things in my life. I hated brossle sprouts; I'd nearly choked on one when I was little. I hated Demetri and what he planned to do to my father. I hated myself for being weak.

And I hated Edward Cullen. Yet I knew I didn't hate him enough.

I glared at him, not caring for my anger now. I just glared at his indifferent expression as I walked towards his door - all the while refusing not to grimace or give away how the impact against the wall had hurt, I did not need to seem anymore weak then I already was. I said my words without a hint of regret at the effect they could have on him; he probably wouldn't listen to me anyway.

"Don't worry Edward. I have no intention of pitying you." I spat at him fiercely, fighting back tears. He didn't reply (well he might of) but I was already running down the corridor. I wanted more than ever to sleep in my own bed.

Sleep.

I stared at the sky; it was indigo, flecked with different tones of grey. I knew it would soon be dawn. I couldn't sleep and I wouldn't be able to now, that was certain. I walked down the corridor, still fuming when Alice appeared in front of me. She sighed at my expression. I hoped she knew there wasn't a chance in hell that I was going to endure a makeover at this ungodly hour.

Sunrise would only be in a few hours.

Only a few hours of hell to live through.

I just sighed at the prospect of how much coercion I was going to have to endure between now and then. Alice was talking quickly, her voice was soothing. To my surprise I realised she was waiting for a response. She stared at me; her large golden eyes were concerned. I didn't deserve the concern though.

I didn't realise we were walking to the kitchen until I smelt Esme's cooking. I felt like a sleep walker; and probably looked no better. Tiredness weighed down on me, I needed to sit. I wondered if Alice had foreseen this... Probably not. If she'd known I was awake she would have had me in a ghastly combination of pyjamas by now.

But Esme wasn't in the kitchen; it was deserted except from Alice and me. I turned to Alice, ready to thank her for her consideration. I was ungrateful to her, and I knew it. But when I opened my mouth to thank her no words came.

"I knew you weren't sleeping earlier," She said lightly, a smile twitching up the corners of her Cupid's bow lips. I grimaced. Damn. And there I'd thought I'd actually fooled her. So much for my amazing acting skills. "Well, to an extent," She amended, and then promptly frowned, "I knew you weren't sleeping after I heard you saying: 'We fooled Alice.' You should have waited a bit longer." I grimaced; I didn't want to remember what she'd said to Edward. It still didn't make any sense to me. But this thought only ended up with who I'd been with. Edward. The image of disgust as I touched his cheek was imprinted in my mind. I couldn't seem to dispel it. I saw Alice watching my expression, tried to compose it, and failed. I knew she was waiting for me to speak, and so slowly, I exhaled, summoning up words to fit the situation.

"Edward hates me Alice, I don't know what I did, but he does. I-I…" I frowned in frustration; I couldn't get the words out. "I don't know what I did." I repeated stubbornly. "But it's ridiculous, one minute he was… comforting, and the next he was looking at me in fury. Bipolar in the extreme." Alice nodded at my words, seemingly unperturbed by my frustration. "He has issues." I finished off in a huff. She smiled slightly at my words, but then her face furrowed. She gave me an odd look, almost as if she was contemplating whether or not to tell me something.

"Look Lucie, I'm not sure how to tell you this. I agree, Edward probably comes across as bipolar. He doesn't think like anyone I've ever met Lucie. He can be impertinent and blind to everyone around him at times. I think that's what his power does to him; he lives in others minds and therefore doesn't trust his own. But when we put _you _in that equation everything goes haywire. He cannot trust his instincts for fear of hurting you, and at the same time he can't deny what he is. What we all are. We're vampires Lucie, blood is something we need to survive. You're a constant temptation to him, and he knows that. He ends up thinking that he's a monster because of his craving. And I'm not sure you realise how bad he'll be feeling right now. I bet if I wasn't with you he'd already be apologising-"

I cut across her, not willing to admit the effect her insightful words were having on me.

"I don't want him to apologise." I muttered. "Alice, he hates me. Apologising is the last thing on his mind."

She frowned slightly at my stubborn attitude. I felt like doing do too, but it was needed. Stubbornness kept me awake. And I needed to stay awake. She sighed slightly before continuing.

"You don't realise that he's doing all this for you. He won't admit it, but he is. He thinks that if he pushes you away then he'll stop feeling how he is. And I can tell he hates it Lucie, he thinks that hurting you is the only way to keep you safe."

"Then he's an idiot," I grumbled. Her soft peal of laughter was light, I felt drowsy at the sound.

"On that point; I'm not going to defend him." She chimed.

Dawn light filtered in through the window, it cast long shadows from the trees in the forest. I thought about what Alice had told me earlier that day, she'd mentioned we were going to school tomorrow. The thought made my stomach twist. I hoped it was a joke. The prospect of lessons with my amount of energy was daunting.

Dear God, I'd have to resort to coffee.

I _hated _coffee.

I sighed slightly and began to formulate the question I wanted to ask Alice in my head before I said it. I felt drained. I needed caffeine quickly. I was literally dead on my feet (no pun intended). I turned to her sighing again but my words died in my throat when I saw her, and then understood the momentary silence that had fallen.

Alice was no longer smiling.

I stared in horror. Her tiny frame was convulsing, her eyes blank and unfocused.

Dizzying thoughts rampaged through my head. Where was Jasper? What was she seeing? What was I supposed to _do_? But my frenetic thoughts were cut off short by the sound of my name.

"Lucie," Alice choked out, her golden eyes wide with shock and horror. Her small figure was still trembling slightly; it was the sort of thing that only occurred from the aftermath of one of her visions. She seemed unable to focus on me properly, mumbling my name.

I was nothing short of terrified.

"What Alice? What's wrong? What do you see?" My questions were frantic. As were my thoughts.

She looked at me, the vision had subsided. But her trembling hadn't.

"What?" My voice was thick, I felt sick again. "Alice - please, tell me."

I saw her mouth move, and saw her words rather than heard them.

Everything was crashing around at the silent words.

"It's your father."

***

**Uh Oh… A c-c-cliffy?! Yup… my reign of evilness continues…**

***grunt* I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. It's crazy. This stupid Edward/Lucie interaction was only meant to go on for about 3,000 words… and suddenly I have 9,000... Oh poop, with the Alice bit + babble this chapter is 11,500 words… Ridiculous. This chapter wrote itself. The stupid characters weren't **_**meant **_**to do the things they did. But it just **_**happened**_**. So yeah. Sorry if there wasn't much action. Blame fictional Moody Edward. Not me. Him. **

**But… there were little hidden bits in this that are essential to the plot. You won't be able to find them… but there are. So yup, that's an excuse for deeming this chapter NOT utterly rubbish.**

**And… they didn't kiss. Sorry. Nope. If they did there would have been WAY too much guilt for Lucie to deal with; I predict that she would have imploded. I'm sorry. But concerning Edward and Lucie… I have only one thing to say: there's going to be conflict. Mhmm. Did you seriously all think they were going to just… snog each other senseless?! Dear lord. I feel embarrassed even typing that. Perhaps I'm going to be a nun. **

**If you're worried people that it's JUST going to be arguments… Well, look at the genre.. Supernatural/Romance… not angst, not action, **_**romance**_**… it'll arrive… eventually. Not all fluff. Oh wait. Do you want fluff? … tell me if you do. If you want fluff, I'll write fluff. Though I'm not guaranteeing a high quality. But hey, it's **_**me **_**we're talking about. I seem to go with quantity more often… (which is bad. Quality is more important. Oh well.) **

**Okay. So I'm not going to give much away about next chapter. But… MIKE RETURNS… That's all I'm saying. ****No, that's a lie, I'll say this as well: ****Okay. So I've got about 5,000 words of the next chapter already written up. (Which… if you think about it… could mean that I can update super duper fast, all depending on REVIEWS…) I was going to use it in this chapter, but like I said, this chapter went on too long… MUCH too long…**

**Now, I've just skim read this. And I don't like it. MEH… Typical. I think it's due to the lack of action… but BAH! I could either update or delete. I figured I might as well update…**

**In response to several PMs Mouse is a **_**girl**_**. Okay? **_**Female**_**. I agree, the name gives you little clue to her gender. Though I'm not sure… on second thoughts I won't share my views on whether she actually **_**has **_**a gender. (Neutered kitty.) **

**On the subject of Mouse, I have news to share. Mouse is depressed! *cue the dirge* Yup. Depressed. Why, you all ask? Well, There was no cat food in the house, so all she got for her supper was a small portion of cat biscuits. (Mouse is snooty. She turns her nose up at such common food as Go-cat biscuits and insists on smelly tinned food) Mouse gave me a wounded look as I poured them for her. She is a very spoilt cat, so I gave her a long lesson on how cats in Africa would never get as much as she did. My mum came in halfway through my speech and is now under the impression that I'm not only an utter recluse, but also a mad person who talks to cats. I fear she is spot on.**

**On that note, I'll leave you to REVIEW. Pretty please? I bet it'll make Mouse less depressed… no one wants a depressed Mouse, she's awfully grumpy (she just walked all over my artwork. I'll take it as a sign of rebelling. My painting of Kiwi Fruit now has hair stuck to it. _Nice_.)… **

**Lily- accompanied by a depressed Mouse. A Mouse who wants food. And a Lily who wants reviews.**


	31. The Foreshadowing Furore

**Heyyys!**

**URRGGHH! I'm arguing, with none other than my stupid self. I'm a **_**stupid **_**person with an inability to shorten chapters. It's ridiculous I tell you, simply ridiculous. I tried to end it at around 8,000 words and then BAM more words got typed up… *grunts* so yeah. If you hate long chapters: SORRY. I can't help it :p**

…**I'm upset really. Because of the news of Daddy's Little Cannibal's death. I didn't know her personally, but her stories were amazing. So yeah, that came as a shock really. Sorry for the late update; really I am… Oh, and on the subject of death (that was not meant to sound at all humorous, sorry :s) I'm dedicating this chapter to anyone who has lost someone important. For three reasons: **

**1). Jade Lyssy Swan; who dedicated her entire fantabulous story to her father who passed away…**

**2). DandylionWishes; who had a malteaser loving cat that got put down recently.**

**3). Rin03 had a goldfish. It died too. **

**I can't deal with death. I'm dreadful, my sister's guinea pig (who used to bite me) died years ago… I cried for weeks. Literally weeks, despite the fact that the guinea pig was kinda scary with its red eyes and on several occasions drew blood when it bit me. (…mhhmm definitely a vampire style creature) I couldn't stop crying when it just died. So yeah. This chapter is dedicated to anyone who had to deal with stuff like that. **

**On a happier note: 714 reviews?! WOW! Thanks another herd of apologetic nelephants (and yes, in regards to a PM, they are doing fine on their chartable deeds in Africa) I LOVE my reviewers! They're the best. Every chapter I get long reviews from people! So yup. THANKS! You're all made of fantabulous-ness! Jam packed with the stuff. So, I was wondering.. do you think by the end of this story we could get to a flippin' massive 1,000 reviews?! Huh? ...no? Ah well, I'll dream :)**

**As I said. I'm angry at myself and if I continue to argue to seemingly no one, then my family are going to become concerned **_**all over **_**again. My mum is now very wary when she sees me alone with Mouse, no doubt wondering whether I'm going to give her more ethical lessons… perhaps on the issue of prejudice to other cats. **

**So yeah. Short babble huh? Don't be relieved just yet… I do my usual thing at the bottom… *sigh***

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

I was nothing short of terrified.

"What Alice? What's wrong? What do you see?" My questions were frantic. As were my thoughts.

She looked at me, the vision had subsided. But her trembling hadn't.

"What?" My voice was thick, I felt sick again. "Alice - please, tell me."

I saw her mouth move, and saw her words rather than heard them.

Everything was crashing around at the silent words.

"It's your father."

***

**The Foreshadowing Furore.**

My head was spinning. Oxygen was rapidly leaving my lungs as I felt the gasps surpass me. I could feel my voice rising with each syllable.

"What? What do you mean? What happened? What did you see? Is he okay? _Will _he be okay?" Questions continued to pour out from my lips, each frenzied. My voice was rising higher still, now on the verge of hysteria. Alice seemed to snap out of her vision completely as she looked at me; her expression lost.

That did nothing to help my current state of utter panic.

"Alice?" I repeated in a mantra, I felt dizzy. The room wasn shaking. A wave of serenity crashed around me. But I fought it. I could tell it was synthetic, fake. My emotions were now battling inside me; my thoughts were no more then incoherent screams. "Dad…" I croaked.

Jasper came into view, turning to stare at Alice and gripping her hand. I stared at them both, scared and confused and annoyingly _calm_. I turned my stare into a glower when I looked to Jasper.

"It's okay Lucie-" Alice began quickly, but I could detect uncertainty in the wind chime trill.

"_Nothing _is okay!" I wanted to shout. I wanted to race home. But I couldn't. The room was shaking again and I had little breath, my words came out quiet.

"Your father's fine." Alice assured me, "He, it's just - I had a vision, and it was confusing. Your father was there… and he was talking to someone, and just as quickly, it dissolved and suddenly you were there, only you were standing with Bella. And Bella was shouting at you to run to find your father, and then well you started to scream at me and I was still partially in the vision, but I knew you were in the hallway as well. So I said _it's your father _because that was all I could think of when both visions included a mention of him." Alice said fluidly, Jasper's expression was a mask I couldn't decipher. "And now you're ghostly pale and look like your going to faint because of your stupid imagination!" She concluded.

"H-he's okay?" I whispered.

"He's fine, I promise."

I let out a sigh of relief, dispelling the last of my oxygen supply. The room decided to turn upside down. That was odd.

"Whoa, steady there." A cool arm supported me; I looked into Carlisle's butterscotch eyes. He frowned as his eyes assessed my health status. "We need to get some sugar in you." He remarked lightly, I nodded dully. I didn't know how to express my need for checking on my father. Alice's explanation had eased some of the panic, but the rest had remained. Mainly because of Jasper's look, it was anxious. I heard something else that Carlisle said, though I wasn't sure if I was supposed to.

"…_don't give her such a shock Alice, fainting is not another thing we need to add to her list of problems_."

"Problems?" I piqued, "What problems?"

"Nothing Lucie," Carlisle sighed as he took me into the gigantic kitchen, "I'm just worried for your health. You didn't sleep last night, did you?" I stared at him in horror.

"How did you know?" I breathed. Did I really look _that _awful?

He seemed to sense my worry; maybe my accelerating heart gave me away.

"It's okay Lucie, only a trained medic would realise the symptoms. Just make sure you have some caffeine in you. It's a shame we don't have bananas…" he trailed off frowning. I stared at him.

"Bananas?" I questioned.

He smiled warmly at my bemusement, "They're a good source of potassium, a high percentage in fact, I think it contains about 602 mg per average banana. But anyway, potassium cures dehydration, which is almost certainly the cause for all your recent fainting escapades." I don't think I'd describe the experience of fainting as an escapade, or any sort of adventure for that matter. And I was slightly confused at why having bananas was so essential. But hey, it was Carlisle, he was a 300 something vampire, and I wasn't about to doubt his knowledge on the properties of bananas.

"I'm still perplexed at why Alice is insisting you go to school." He mused to himself after a pause.

"Alice insisted this?" I asked curiously as Carlisle began making coffee. Finally resigning in a sad tone that there were no bananas available.

"Yes, it was odd. She seemed adamant about it when Edward questioned her. She seems to be blocking some thoughts from him," Carlisle chuckled, he seemed amused by the thought, "and Edward's cross about it. He hates not being able to find an insight to other's heads."

"That's why he hates me," The thought slipped through my lips bitterly. Carlisle frowned but didn't say anything as he handed over the coffee. I took one look at it, and gulped the substance down, the smell made me feel sick, and it was hot enough to scald my throat slightly. But it did the trick; I _did _feel more awake now.

"Edward doesn't hate you Lucie," Carlisle said after a silence. I just nodded, not bothering to protest. Maybe he didn't know that Edward _had _just thrown me into a wall. "And I think he wants to prove it…" I heard Carlisle mutter under his breath. I turned.

And there in the doorway - running a snowy hand through his tousled bronze hair - was Edward Cullen.

"Lucie, can I talk with you?"

***

"I don't understand you Lucie. I cannot imagine what you're thinking. And I can't understand your actions. And I seriously do not understand why you hate me."

I'd followed him into the hallway, being polite and succumbing to his request. And _this _was how he treated me. No hello. No hi. Just: _I don't understand you Lucie. _Nice. I frowned at his words and averted the fact that I didn't hate him. Because if he assumed I hated him, then maybe I would. Hell, I _wanted _to hate him. But I couldn't. Because when he stood like that, carelessly running his slender fingers through his hair in aggravation and golden eyes smouldering, hate was not the first emotion that popped into mind.

"Maybe it has something to do with, oh I don't know, you hurtling me into a wall perhaps?" I resorted icily. He had the grace to look ashamed. But my victory was short lived. Pain underlined his expression, and his topaz eyes seemed to darken.

"I'm sorry. I will never hurt you again." He whispered.

"I'm not hurt." I said indignantly. "And I've heard you say that before."

"Yeah, well I mean it this time." He took a step closer.

No. No _way _was he going to make me feel dizzy again.

"I-I better find Alice…" I squirmed away from him. He raised a hand, as if ready to pull me back. But let it fall, limp at his side. The look in his eyes was dejected. I tired to walk away from him, but my feet had other ideas. They were numb. I just stood there, torn between two emotions.

Wanting to run, and wanting never to leave.

Pretty flipping opposite, huh?

Edward looked up at me; his lashes looked more prominent in the dawn light. Like fine lines of ink framing the golden depths. He moved to me, no longer at a human pace, moving hair out of my eyes.

"You don't realise what I mean," He said earnestly, yet unable to mask the aggravation in his tone. He was frustrated at me, as I was with him. "I am _so _sorry Lucie. I never meant that to happen."

"It doesn't matter." I mumbled.

"Then why won't you look at me?" His voice was low.

"Not everyone wants to look at you, Edward." I muttered coldly. _Lie_.

"_Please _Lucie," I frowned, looked into his face and sighed. He _did _look sorry. But I couldn't let the trivial emotions surge through me again. The same emotions that would take control and eradicate any hope of rationality. I looked at him; but not properly. Instead I concentrated on the texture of his ivory skin.

And not once did I look his eyes.

I could tell he was about to speak again. So I stood up attempted to reach his height. That was impossible seeing as there was about a foot between us. So in the end I just sighed and whispered to him coldly, again, averting my gaze from his. Because I knew the depiction in my eyes would give me away.

"I don't need apologies Edward; I'm perfectly fine." A familiar burning sensation appeared behind my eyes. I felt like screaming. Only a day before I'd had complete control as such a trivial act like crying. And yet now I felt like bursting into tears every few minutes.

I walked towards the door, hoping to find Alice. My fake words rang in my ears: _I'm perfectly fine. _I had to get out. My lie was obvious. I was along way from being fine. But I didn't care. It didn't matter. _I _didn't matter.

I scarped from the room. Because I knew _he _mattered to me, more than this world.

And it terrified me.

***

"You look like crap Lucie." Alice noted somberly.

_Wow. Thanks for the self confidence boost Alice_! I just shrugged; I couldn't care less. I felt like it too, but I wasn't going to inform them of that anytime soon, not with Carlisle in the house. I wouldn't put it past him to put me on medication. I didn't feel like crying anymore. A dull hollow sensation was forming inside my chest. I'd found Alice in the kitchen.

I must have been grimacing because I heard Emmett's voice beside my ear. I was glad for that; his distractions were the best cure to how I was currently feeling. Which was not very good. So I listened to his tone intently, it was oddly formal and posh. I felt like snorting at the absurdity of it.

"Please excuse my sister Alice's vulgar language. You rather dashing if I do say so myself." I released the snort as turned to him. The snort really didn't match his formal tone.

"Rather dashing?" I questioned with a smirk, "isn't that what Victorian women said to their husbands? Emmett, are you implying that I look like a man?!" I let out a gasp of mock horror. Emmett winked before disappearing from sight, but not before his expression became utterly serious and he sent a low whisper to me. "Don't give in Luce; she just wants to give you a makeover. The pixie has nasty hobbies, and she has crafty ways to enforce them. Be on your guard." I couldn't help laugh slightly at his hushed whispers. It sounded like I was being given top secret orders.

I carefully sat on one of the kitchen stools, the brief happiness quickly evaporating; instead I was now grimacing at the thought of what lay ahead: school. I saw Jasper kiss Alice lightly on the forehead as he told her something too low in his brass voice for me to hear. She frowned at what it was and leaned on tiptoes to kiss him back. I looked away, I felt like I was intruding, so I began eating the soft cookie Esme had made. She'd practically fawned over me when I said I would like something to eat. Serving up a vast selection of breakfast foods. I'd told her in all honesty that I'd like some cookies. I'd always been a sweet tooth. And judging by her ability to make simply gorgeous muffins, I predicted that her cookie-making skills wouldn't be too bad either. It was packed with sugar. I needed that. The coffee previously still tasted bitter in my mouth though. It took me a slow second to realise that Alice was talking to me. Chirping in her high soprano.

"Hmm?" Was my intelligent response. I didn't sound nearly as sleepy as I felt; that had to be a good thing.

"Lucie, I've got some clothes for you-" Alice was cut short. Wow, were my grimaces really that good? But when I heard the soft growl from behind me I realised that it was not in fact, my oh-so-scary-grimace that had cut Alice off. Well, that was a disappointment. I turned around slowly, full well knowing who stood behind me. God, I could even recognise his _growl_. There was definitely something wrong with me.

"Alice, I highly doubt that this is on Luciana's list of priorities, leave her alone for-"

"It's fine." I snapped at him coldly, protecting Alice. He didn't seem to understand that calling me 'Luciana' seriously deflated my temperate towards him. I turned to Alice as means if a distraction, and smiled slightly at her look. She beamed at me and stuck her tongue out at Edward.

"Good!" She trilled happily, "I've got this simply brilliant skirt-"

"No." I said stubbornly. I was already starting to regret my words. "No skirts."

I heard a chuckle from behind me and scowled. Alice merely pouted.

"Fine…" She trailed off, "but you should finish that first." I nodded and continued to eat the cookie. I was hungrier than I realised, my stomach felt full but I didn't care. It had probably shrunk anyway since I hadn't eaten much. And wow, Esme could _cook_!

I suddenly realised Rosalie was in the room, her laughter was a small musical harmony, not as high as Alice's, but just as beautiful. Her hair matched the colour of her eyes and I felt my self esteem shatter and my ego plummeted. I really did not want to think of how I looked next to her. Bu it was hard not to make comparisons to her beauty and my… austerity. She was perched elegantly on the window seat. Emmett climbed through another window, I frowned. The Cullens were officially ridiculous when it came to using doors. The situation was getting out of hand.

"What're you doing baby?" Emmett asked Rosalie, who was staring off into the trees, with an expression I couldn't decipher. She broke out of this though at Emmett's words and frowned slightly at the disturbance. Her full lips twisted upwards slightly from a petulant pout to a coy smile.

"Why, I was thinking up torrid fantasies revolving around that devilish Mike Newton of course." Rosalie sang, giving a flick of her hair. Her chiming voice not without a hint of innuendo.

Emmett's expression was priceless.

"_What_?!" Emmett exclaimed, a frown appearing on his smooth forehead as he glared at Rosalie in shock.

"Mike, you know," Rosalie replied dreamily, sending a surreptitious wink mine and Alice's way. I heard Alice giggle quietly beside me, "that simply divine human hunk really… I think I'm growing rather fond of him. Perhaps we could incorporate him into our family. I know he can't resist my charms." She drawled off in a seductive purr. Even I was chuckling now. Emmett still looked worried at Rosalie, not realising the joke.

"No. Definitely not." Remarked someone other than Emmett, his tone dark. "There is no way on earth that I'm staying on the same premises as Newton. His thoughts are deplorable." I turned to see Edward and rolled my eyes at him, momentarily forgetting that I was _very _cross with him. Trust Emmett's expression - still frozen in a state of horror - to make me forget something like that. Quickly, I averted my gaze back to the plate of cookies. But I could feel him staring at me, and I felt a blush flush my neck. Eventually, I really was full. Alice clapped her hands after I'd finished. I raised my eyebrows at her.

"You finished!" She trilled happily, "right, now we only have two hours before we've got to set off… it's hardly anytime to get you ready…"

I gaped at her. Two whole _hours_? Not _enough _time? Was Alice crazy?

She saw my expression and gave an angelic grin. I already knew the answer to my question.

Yes. Yes she was.

She let out an exasperated sigh as she raised her eyes to the ceiling, frowning at something. "Ugh, the shower's now working. Well, I suppose we've got enough time for you to have a bath, I could sponge-" I blanched, hastily cutting off her sentence.

"No Alice. I do _not _want a sponge bath." The laughter from behind me made me instantly regret the words. Damn. Edward was still in here? I turned round to have my suspicions confirmed. Emmett and Rosalie had left silently, leaving only Alice, Edward and I in the kitchen. Humiliation stained my cheeks a deep red. Alice was utterly unperturbed.

"Fine, you don't look too dirty. It's just you _hair_." She gave me an appraising look and frowned. "I better get started." Was it just me, or was her tone _ominous_?

She pulled me to my feet quickly. And I saw Edward's amused face, I was torn again between wanting to wipe the smirk away and pleading for help.

In the end, I settled with a grimace.

That morning passed unusually quickly. Alice had dressed me up in tight trousers and a black top. (She'd avoided lighter shades encase the fabric revealed the purple bruises on my arms.) For once I didn't mind her clothes that she'd picked out for me. Yeah, they were still far too figure hugging for my liking, but I was glad the colours weren't too bold. Hopefully, I'd go unnoticed.

I'd looked in the mirror when Alice had finished with me and instantly regretted it.

Dark circles marred the skin underneath my eyes, a give away at how much sleep I'd gotten. Alice had brushed my hair and left it loose at my request. I could hide behind it. The fairness of it contrasted with the dark top oddly. A faint gold in the darkness. I sighed slightly as I quickly hopped out the car; it was awkward carrying books without my bag. I'd misplaced it.

Mike was the first person I met when entering the school. Why? Because he collided into me. The Cullens had vanished off abruptly, and the thought irked me. I was suspicious of Alice's expression when we'd got out the car. But I couldn't ponder much longer on that thought because, well, I was currently spread eagled in the middle of the cold floor. With Mike on top of me.

Yeah. What a perfect way to start the day.

And sarcasm was heavily laced there.

"Oh God Lucie, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

I didn't reply to Mike. It wasn't like I was going to tell him that it was okay. Because it wasn't. My head ached and I felt drowsy again. The caffeine from before was slowly leaving my system and I regretted not having more coffee (enduring even that substance was better than this.) I was also scared. Irrational though it seemed, I was.

My father. The thought of him made me widen my eyes to prevent from crying. Alice had assured that he was okay. That he was _safe_. But the look on Alice's face when we'd left the car that morning told a different story. So I was scared, tired, and still cross at Edward. On the matter of Edward, I'd made a vow to myself. And personally, I thought it was a genius one.

I'd decided that I was going to avoid him. Resist succumbing to his looks. And definitely avoid close proximity.

So no Mike, overall. I wasn't okay. But the words left my lips despite my thoughts. After all, Mike was (probably…) a good person. I just didn't get to see that side of him often. Or maybe I was just too stubborn to realise it.

"It's okay Mike," Yes. I was going to have to lie a lot today, "really I'm fine-" I tried to stand up, but my words were cut short as I gasped slightly.

Next minute I was being lifted by Mike - he was too close for my liking - but it was the contact against my arm that made me gasp. The thin fabric did little to prevent his touch hurting me. It wasn't a gasp of pain though. The dull bruises that patterned my arms didn't hurt much. It was the shock. I managed to squirm away slightly, picking up my books that had haphazardly fell across the floor. I was lucky; I knew if he'd tightened his grip I would have done more than gasp.

I felt my cheeks flush in embarrassment as I registered the stares and felt little better then animals at the zoo (no, admittedly, I wasn't in a cage, but the gawking was spot on. I fought down the urge to act like a monkey. _That _wouldn't have added anything positive to my sanity case.) Mike was still gushing out apologies, but I barely heard him. Partially because I didn't really care, and partially because I heard a voice sound behind me.

The very voice that I craved and claimed to despise.

And vowed _not _to react to.

"I'll help you with that." Suddenly, it wasn't just me collecting the books. I stared at Edward, and typical to his character, he stared right back. Without a hint of restraint in his golden eyes. Mike ignored Edward's help, and took it as a sign to help me to my feet. Gentling lifting me from the floor once more.

"There," It took me a slow second to realise Mike was brushing strands of hair free from my shocked face. "All better." I stuttered, and Mike grinned.

And Edward's eyes blazed.

"I can take it from here, Newton." Edward's voice was sharp and cold. Even I - despite being in a rather slow sleep deprived state - could hear the underlying threat laced within his velvet tone.

"She's fine with me." Mike said firmly, pulling me closer.

"I've got her books." Edward's words were dark.

"And I've got _her_."

It was then that I realised, judging by their tone, that this was an argument. An argument coincidently, that I happened to be the cause of. I scowled at the thought. And glared at Edward. And really tried not to smack Mike at his words. The ignorant git. I blocked those thoughts. Mike was behaving better than Edward was at least. Stupid overprotective vampire.

"Yeah, you have got my books," I said through gritted teeth, keeping to the vow I'd made. "Can I have them back?" He smiled at me charmingly, and I scowled further. Hating the stupid butterfly sensation in my stomach at the look on his face and promptly staring at the books for means of a distraction. He was dazzling, and he knew it. I turned back to Mike again and forced on a smile.

Mike, being the idiot he was, took this as an achievement.

"I think she can go to History with me, Cullen."

Oh fudge. Now Mike was assuming the wrong things. I suddenly felt guilty for Edward, and internally groaned. Why was I feeling guilty? I should _not _be feeling guilty! Somehow, throughout this inner rant of mine, I was looking at Edward again. He looked furious.

"Keep your thoughts to yourself Newton."

And with that, Edward walked off, in what one only can be described as a grump.

Leaving me with Mike.

_Fun_.

***

_It'll all be over soon_. I chanted to myself for about the fifteenth time. My head no longer ached dully, it felt like it was going to split open. My tired eyes followed the clock as the second hand moved, mercilessly slowly, towards my reprieve. Each one tolled for what seemed like an eternity. I decided on giving up staring aimlessly at the clock; someone was bound to notice that I hadn't been paying attention to the entire History lesson.

My head was still buzzing from earlier, from Edward's reaction to Mike, and then Angela's horribly insightful words. She'd caught me before History started and gave me a sort of lecture on what had happened. I grimaced when I realised that practically the whole of the school had witnessed it. The conversation from before was still annoyingly fresh in my mind, the lesson was doing little to keep my attention:

"_Look Lucie, Mike's probably thinking you like him because of how you reacted to Edward earlier. Jessica's kind of cross with you because of Mike-"_

"_Oh that's ridiculous," I muttered furiously, Jessica was angry with me? Great, "she can have Mike; it'd be a relief to get away from him." Angela smiled slightly, I could tell she was suppressing a laugh._

"_What actually happened? Did you run into Mike or something? I didn't see that part."_

"_I think _he _ran into me."_

"_Bet it was on purpose," Angela smiled knowingly, I groaned. Her expression softened slightly but a frown line appeared on her forehead. "Edward came to your rescue pretty quickly," She noted. I didn't reply. "What happened between you?" Her voice was lower than a whisper now. _

_I looked at her in shock. How the hell was she so darn perceptive?!_

"_N-nothing. Nothing's happened. Nothing did, or ever would. Why do you think that?" I stuttered, a little too quickly. Angela looked at me seriously and I sighed. I liked Angela. She was probably one of the most genuine people in here, not one to gossip or make fun of me. I knew she wouldn't pry. I felt guilty for not being honest with her. But I wasn't like I could just tell her that the last few days had been complied of me trying to understand why vampires wanted my blood. And the fact that I'd been constantly trying to forget the moments where Edward and I had been in a very close proximity to each other._

"_I think that Lucie," Angela said quietly, snapping me out of my thoughts, "because I've seen the way he looks at you."_

"_Edward doesn't look at me." I mumbled. _

"_He does Lucie, more than you think." Angela was sounding far too Alice like for my comfort. Why did everyone sound so wise these days? Life would be so much easier if maybe stayed oblivious. She smiled at me as we walked into class, murmuring one thing more to herself then me as she took her seat. "He's jealous."_

I snapped back to the present and focused hard on the lecture, but my efforts were fruitless. I'd felt like scoffing at the thought of Edward being jealous then. And I still did. But I couldn't just deny the fact that he was trying to apologise to me. I wasn't that I hated him for what he did. Merely my own frustration at not being able to hate him for what he did. I wanted to hate him.

Because hate was an emotion in black and white.

I could understand hate.

But I couldn't understand what I felt.

***

History had eventually passed, so had Art, and now I was walking to Maths. Even walking was becoming difficult. My strides were sluggish and my feet felt like lead. My coordination was now alike to that of Bella's and I had to keep myself from falling over. I expected that I looked quite drunk. The classroom was practically empty when I arrived. Mr Varner still didn't look pleased to see me though. Honestly. I mean, I _could _(admittedly, my intentions were nothing of the sort) have arrived early because I was so very enthusiastic about today's lesson. And yet there he was, frowning at me. Typical.

I carelessly dropped my books onto the table; the class was steadily filing in. I closed my eyes briefly, unable not to concentrate on the muffled sounds and laughter around me. My head ached dully and my eyes stung a bit despite the fact that I'd closed them. It didn't take a genius to diagnose what was wrong with me. Lack of sleep. The symptoms were plain, though I hoped it wasn't as obvious to others as it was to myself.

"You're in my seat." Said a velvet voice. An _unmistakable _velvet voice.

I snapped my eyes open.

I glared at him, flustered. There he was, doing it again! Staring at me. It just wasn't fair. My mind conjured the most ridiculous scenarios when he stared like at me like that. I promptly discarded these. But still… it would be a lot easier if he just didn't look at me.

He coughed.

Oh, I was still in his seat, right. I moved without him saying anything else, sitting in the only other chair (the one right _next _to his) and angling it as far away from him as possible. All the while ranting furiously in my head about how darn arcane he was. Honestly, would it have killed him to sit here? The lecture started, but I didn't pay attention. I felt more tired than before, I would blame it on Edward's close proximity. The very same proximity I'd vowed not to create. Oh crud.

Suddenly, I saw a small note, carefully - and I hoped discreetly too - I slipped it into the book we were meant to be studying from and read it. Edward's elegant script was stupidly perfect. Just like the rest of him. I scowled in anticipation before reading it. Right so this was how he tried to cheer me up? Notes. Nevertheless, with an inward sigh, I read it.

_Luciana, I'm sorry. I was irrational earlier when you were with Mike and I am sorry that you had to witness and be in the thicket of it all. Sorry._

I glared at the note. Great. He wasn't speaking and yet I could _hear _the formal voice. I hated that voice. How on earth it had been managed to portrayed in writing was beyond me. I glared at my name. Luciana. Yeah, Edward _really _knew how to brighten my mood, call me the name I despise. Perfect. Also, he'd said the word 'sorry' three times. How repetitive. Maybe he was trying to use the art of rhetoric. The rule of three or something.

But I wasn't getting persuaded anytime soon.

I didn't reply to his note. I listened to Mr Varner instead. _See? Mr Varner, I'm listening, there's no need to keep giving me those glowers. _Mr Varner's head turned to me then. Okay. That was weird. I suddenly found myself wondering if Mr Varner was telepathic, or _worse_, like Edward. Could Mr Varner read minds? I decided to test this theory.

_Hey Mr Varner. You're lecture is frightfully boring, oh, and by the way, I like you about as much as I like Mike Newton, which should mean that right now, I'm very close to giving you a nosebleed. _

Mr Varner didn't look up. Therefore killing the mind reading theory of mine.

That was probably a good thing.

I was sidetracked from any further speculations on Mr Varner's hidden supernatural powers by another note. I considered ripping it to shreds. Instead though, I just opened it. There weren't any apologies this time. Maybe Edward was learning not to be repetitive.

_Please respond Lucie._

I didn't look at him. His expression was no doubt, filled with stupid sincerity. Instead, I hastily replied. My handwriting looked atrocious when compared to his.

_I'm trying to concentrate on Mr Varner. My theory is that you're not listening._

His reply only took a second. I found myself feeling annoyed. Not only was his handwriting perfect, but he could also write faster than I could. Considerably faster. Stupid vampire speed.

_Well, I question the premise on which your whole theory is based. I am in fact, listening intently. Exciting lecture isn't it?_

Was he trying to be funny? I scrawled my reply quickly back, no longer caring how messy my handwriting seemed. It wasn't messy; his was just stupidly perfect. I mean, _girls _were meant to be the ones with neat handwriting. Not boys. I wondered if he could multitask too. If he could (which, knowing him, was certain, if he claimed to be listening and writing notes) then maybe he _was _a girl.

I was going to have to inform Emmett of this news.

The thought made me smile wryly.

_Just riveting. _Were my two scrambled words_. _I wanted to end this. He was trying to distract me. And I knew it was working.

_You really to control that sarcasm of yours. _Hilarious Edward.

_Who said I was being sarcastic? _After all, it was he who had been so only seconds before. The hypocrite.

_Well technically, no one _said _anything; that would imply you'd started talking to me again._

I glared stubbornly at his words. Nice move Edward. Play the smart aleck, that's _really _going to win me over. He was lucky actually, with Mr Varner present, I wouldn't yell at him.

I was cross. How come _he _got to be the cogent one when it came to arguments? Life was officially completely and utterly unjust.

I didn't reply to his note. Instead, I turned back to Mr Varner; he was explaining the Fibonacci sequence, with an odd sort of fervour. I just stared. Seriously. I wanted to groan at this. Pointless I say. Sequences were things that children did. Not 17-18 year olds. And actually, the gusto he was putting into his speech on how the sequence often arose in nature was a little worrying. I don't think sane people were normally so ardent about sequences. I let out a delicate snort at the thought of sanity; I was hardly one to talk. (Or _think_.)

And then another note was in front of me. I ignored it. It almost certainly had some witty statement regarding me snorting. Which I really didn't have the patience for. Let Edward suffer in silence. He probably needed to learn about the Fibonacci sequence; I wasn't about to diminish his learning by reply to notes.

***

"Oh wow, Lucie did you seriously like, just blow Edward Cullen off, are you crazy?" _Well yeah I might be, but that's irrelevant to this_. Jessica was still talking animatedly; I could barely understand her words, the rate at which she was saying things made everything incoherent. We were sitting in the Cafeteria and I couldn't quite fathom why I was still on the same table of her. Maths had ended abruptly, the entire lesson had complied of Edward attempting to apologise to me. I didn't want apologies. I didn't care. I'd ended up telling Edward to leave me alone. And of course, everyone had chosen to be silent at the exact minute of my outburst.

It all snowballed in meaning that I had not only received a chat with Mr Varner; stupid contrite stares from Edward; and shocked glances from everyone in the vicinity, but also, gossip was following wherever I went like wildfire. I had walked alone to the cafeteria and I could have sworn I'd developed several stalkers. One of who I sincerely wanted to break his nose. Was it hard to guess who?

I glared at the green beans on my plate. Wishing I could become one. Being a green bean wouldn't be so bad. Beans didn't feel anything. They were plants: photosynthetic organisms that had cellulose cell walls, that couldn't move of their own accord, and grew in soil or water, and usually had green leaves. A plant's life was simple; easy. Plants didn't have to deal with emotions. They were lucky. I don't think I'd mind the being eaten part; after all, if I _was _a bean, I wouldn't feel it, plus it would be a quick death.

And this was what I resorted to. When I had Jessica babbling on next to me, I resorted to mental rants on the unfairness of not being a plant. Yeah. Crazy. I wasn't even exaggerating (well, maybe a _tiny _bit) but anymore of her gossip and I would literally implode with its pointlessness. Imploding sounded like a painful experience. I found myself wanting to be swallowed by the floor again. Or, I could just be a green bean...

"Jessica," I finally managed to cut across her. Firmly deciding to think of anything _but _plants. "What _are _you talking about?"

"You and Edward." She said simply and slowly, trying to patronize me, making it look like I was the idiot, instead of herself. I should have guessed as much. I groaned at the thought of how long she'd been speaking of this without my realising. It was probably halfway through lunch already. All I'd done was stare at the food on my plate sullenly. Still tired and desperately trying not to show it. The thought of Edward made me feel sick again, the horrible twisting sensation in my stomach. I welcomed any thoughts on green beans now.

"What? Why?" I asked, unable to prevent my voice from rising. Jessica's grin was alike to what a panther would look like before eating its prey. To me, her look said two words: _got you_. I remembered Angela's comment on how Jessica liked Mike; it could probably account to why she was giving me a deride look. My stomach plummeted and I felt like slumping down into the table in defeat. Jessica's voice was continuing in a high pitched sort of sound. I didn't bother to decipher her words anymore, they were just rumours. Rumours and gossip. Two things I hated. I suddenly found myself wishing Angela would arrive. Jessica was driving me crazy.

I heard the sound of a chair being pulled up and I sighed in relief expecting to see Angela's kind face. But no. I ended up with Lauren. My day was officially hell. She greeted me by looking me up and down and then sneering. I had a strong urge to slap her, but with the thought of how much makeup would wipe off on my hand, promptly decided not to do it.

Oh yeah, and the whole fact that violence was a _bad_ thing.

My eyes drifted around the cafeteria, and I met Alice's gaze. She gave me a consoling look; at least she knew I was suffering. Jasper was grimacing next to her, and Rosalie and Emmett were looking at each other. Edward wasn't sitting with them. I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or angry. I just hated myself for the sick feeling of disappointment again. It was ridiculous. I shouldn't be disappointed. I wasn't disappointed. I stopped thinking about that; Lauren's words reached me instead.

"Yeah, I don't get it though. She's hardly pretty, Bella was but she isn't, she's barely cute. Why do they even stay around her? She hardly talks as well. Boring if you ask me." I just looked at Lauren, not bothering to hide my disgust at her. It wasn't hard to guess the subject of their conversation. But I didn't really care; I didn't have time to deal with their trivial bitchiness. Lauren sneered back at me, not covering up for her words; I didn't even care for what she'd said. It was after all, mainly fact. I didn't care if they thought I was the ugliest person on the planet though, it wasn't like finding out that Jessica and Lauren were attracted to me was going to be the highlight of my day.

Lauren continued, evidently presuming she'd hit her mark on trying to offend me, leaning over to whisper to Jessica. Though I hardly count _that _as whispering, half the cafeteria was listening in on their conversation. Seriously, people at Forks have no life. If they'd all resorted to listening to _them _as a method of entertainment then I was sick of the place.

_If it wasn't for the Cullens. _My mind added silently. _If it wasn't for the fact that secretly, you love the idea of the world being more than it seems, and if it wasn't for the fact that here is the only place you've ever felt at home. The only place you've ever felt like you had a family. And because this is where a certain somebody who you'd secretly do anything for lives. _Yeah okay, there were a lot of reasons why I did like Forks. I scowled at not being able to lie to myself. Though the last thought had gone a bit awry.

Typical, my stupid thoughts were being cryptic to me. I wanted to hit something. Lauren's voice drew me back to the present, she was lucky she was sitting a few seats away from me. Maybe she'd get a chance to run if I started to fly at her no doubt with a manic gleam in my eyes. A gleam alike to those of the mentally unstable.

Well, weren't my thoughts cheerful today?

"She isn't pretty though. Basically anorexic anyway, and her hair is definitely dyed, I can tell a fake blonde anywhere. She's probably just using it as an excuse, is she stupid too?"

_Well Lauren. No, I'm not stupid, I happen to know more then half the teachers in this school, unlike yourself who are probably only fit to end up as poor hairdresser or something ignorantly less dignified beginning with S and ending with T... _Jessica was giggling slightly, I'd had enough.

I sat up, my chair went flying backwards. Everyone turned to look at me, but Lauren continued to talk, her words were getting louder. She was smirking and revelling in the attention.

"And she's got bags under her eyes, not that beauty rest would help her. Bet she never sleeps." I couldn't stop my intake of breath at that. Lauren couldn't have done more damage if she had kicked me in the stomach. I physically hurt from her words. They were like a slap, I could hear Demetri again and I wanted to scream at Lauren for causing it. For letting myself almost succumb to the darkness.

_I could hear his voice, the cafeteria was falling away, I was with him again. Standing helplessly, as he twisted my hair from my scalp, whispered in my ear. More darkness, I felt a scream rising in my throat, desperate for release. His cold voice penetrated me, as I felt ice replace the blood in my veins._

"_I knew I'd get you to scream." _

My breathing came out in short gasps. But I could hear Lauren's snide tone. And I concentrated on it with all I had. I couldn't let that happen. Not now. Not at school. Her voice still seemed distant. I felt my hands shake; I quickly interlaced the fingers into a knotted fist in an attempt to stop that. I knew my complexion would now be drained of colour. I hated Lauren. Officially hated her. If she hadn't mentioned that none of this would have been happening to me, it was _her _fault.

"Honestly, a dyed blonde who's anorexic and doesn't sleep, why _do _the Cullens like her? Ugh, I mean she has Angela as a friend but that's about it, which isn't much considering, the geek. But the _Cullens_? It's probably because they're freaks, I mean hot freaks, but freaks all the same. Not sure about Edward though, I think his hotness cancels out his-"

That was enough. I felt rage inside me; I wanted to force it upon her, anything to mask what I'd just relived again. What I knew I would relive if I dared succumb to rest.

"Look Lauren," I said fiercely, not caring that everyone was staring at me. Let them stare. I'd put on a show. Nothing mattered at this moment to me. I didn't feel embarrassed by the attention for once, my head was pounding with images I couldn't let myself remember. And I tried to induce as much venom into my words as possible to act as a distraction. "I don't care about your stupid gossip. I don't care if you think I'm the ugliest person in this room. And I sure as hell don't care that you think I'm stupid. But I do care about my friends. Angela included. Yeah, she's smarter than you will ever be, that gives you no reason to label her. Oh, and I'm fed up of you. You're just a sick person who has nothing better than to make stupid rumours up in her spare time. So shut up about my friends. They're not freaks. It's rich of you to even think of it compared to what you are." Each of my sentences was sharp and punctuated. Lauren's mouth fell open in shock at my outburst, looking like I'd just slapped her.

With that, I stood up, proud at myself for not launching at her and punching her senseless. Violence was rarely the answer, though I had to admit it was probably a lot more satisfying. I could feel people's shocked gaze on me, and I hoped that my sudden outburst of anger would cover up for how pale I looked, and how close I was to collapsing. My head pounded. I needed to sit down somewhere. They couldn't know how I was feeling now. They had no idea what thoughts were trying to seize me. I felt sick.

"Oh, and just for the count," I called as I walked towards the doors, unable to not smile at the look on Lauren's face, contorted in fury and beet red in humiliation. Everyone was waiting on my word; Jessica looked speechless and even had the nerve to give me an apologetic look. I could tell she would want to be friend now. Pathetic.

I finished off my words just as the bell rang.

"My hair is naturally blonde."

***

Mr Banner's voice was one low, continuous monotone. He sounded like even he was bored with what he was saying (which wouldn't be a surprise to me) as he continued to lethargically write in his illegible script on the board. It was pointless really; no one could read a word of it. And by now, most people were looking outside, jaded of the tedium.

But despite Mr Banner's effect on the class - which was to say; sending half the people to sleep. He still continued - with a sort of apathetic relentlessness, I might add - I only caught a few words of what he was now mumbling in that _charming _voice of his. And even these didn't make much sense: carbonates; electrolytes; something about bacteria in cheese. See? How on earth could all of those be mentioned in the same sentence?

Eventually, I just gave up. There really was no point in listening to him. I probably already knew more than him on the subject of biology anyway. I let my eyes drift around the class room. Everyone was staring in different directions to the board. Angela had her head rested on her hands. Her eyes would continue to flicker to the person who sat a few seats away: Ben.

I caught Mike looking at me, and his eyes lit up when I stared back. I didn't _mean _to stare back; I'd just been shocked to see him staring, it wasn't like how Angela was, with a faint red tinge appearing on her cheeks if Ben looked back. No. Mike wasn't like that. And I was pretty darn relieved too. But now, the moment he realised I was looking back, he started to grin.

Oh great. I quickly looked back to my work. Embarrassed, and slightly repulsed at the idea of what Mike was now thinking. I really hoped he wouldn't wait for me or anything after this class.

Seeing Mike always made me want to hit something. Preferably him. I groaned internally at my next class (which by some cruel fate I was sharing with Mike) Gym. _Ah well, _I thought, trying for once to look on the bright side. Be optimistic for once. _At least I'd get to channel my need for hitting into sport. _Though admittedly, I think the basketball coach would be a bit surprised if I started showing so much vigour in the sport… and a bit shocked when he realised how many of the basketballs would continue to connect with Mike's head.

I frowned. I seriously had to stop thinking about things like that.

Mr Banner's voice was now very loud. That was odd.

Oh right; he was talking. To me.

"Miss Raven? Are you with us, Miss Raven?" Mr. Banner's voice boomed low and sarcastic. Wow, he'd actually said my surname right for once, that _was _a surprise (and for once, I wasn't being sarcastic). Snickers from the desks surrounding me followed. I swear that man has something against me. Seriously. Can't he see I'm fighting my inner demons at the moment? That I'm trying to work out this mess of a life? _I do not have the time to concentrate on biology_?! Sad to say. But true.

I still hadn't replied, instead staring at the engravings in the wood on my desk. My head hurt slightly, I've never realised how loud Mr Banner's voice was. It hurt my head a little. I wished he'd just shut up. Sleep deprivation rarely improved my ability to study on biology or listen to people intently. If only I could explain that to Mr Banner. _Oh yeah, sorry, I'm just a bit preoccupied with trying to figure out when the hell stupid sadistic Volturi vampires are coming to Forks, why I can't see my father instead of being here, and still attempting not to fall asleep. _I frowned and refocused on the shabby pencil engravings on the desk, saying that to Mr Banner would only result in me ending up in an asylum.

"Luciana, pay attention." _Like everybody else is? _"Else I can assure that you will fail this module." He was probably right. I bet even if I did get full marks on the next test, that he would fail me. He just didn't like me. Maybe he had something against intelligent people. I looked up at him through innocent eyes. He repeated his demand. "Luciana, pay attention." God, why did he _insist _on calling me that? The impertinent fool.

"I am." Even I knew the words sounded a bit forced. He didn't comment on my response directly, instead speaking to the whole class. He was going on about how slipping grades always come from students who ditch school now. All the time sending me subtle hints as to who he was referring to. I swear that man is determined to prove me wrong.

The lesson passed irksomely slowly. I spent the entire time thinking of reasons to why Mr Banner didn't like me. My behaviour was probably the main reason. It struck me as odd though; to all the other teachers I was pretty much the perfect student. Well, maybe not Mr Varner, but he had been trying to teach us the Fibonacci sequence, which was ridiculously easy for our age group. But still, despite these two exceptions, I never normally retorted back to teachers. I really don't know what was becoming of me.

The bell rang then. I let out an audible sigh of relief. I do believe that was the longest Biology lesson I'd ever had in my life.

"Remember you have your preliminary exams next week," Mr Banner announced to the class, "and some of you better start revising fast. Especially those who have been _ill_." He accented the last word as if it was foreign, with heavy distaste. I could have sworn he was speaking directly to me. I glowered in his direction. If only he _knew_. Honestly, the man was sorely mistaken when it came to the subject of my intellect. Was he really still under the assumption that I was no more than an irritable blonde? He shot me a brief glance, and my suspicions were confirmed with his next words.

"Some of you need to work harder."

With that, students began trundling off. Well, they probably were just walking not trundling, but it still seemed like an apt description. Sheep trundled right? And they were after all, pretty much sheep. I scowled when collecting my books. Wondering why on this occasion (excluding all others) Mr Banner seemed to hate me so much. Okay, so I had nearly fallen asleep in his lecture. But come on! I've been sleep deprived, and it wasn't exactly the most gripping thing, was it? Anyone could have almost fallen asleep in that; I could have sworn even _Angela _yawned.

_I miss my bag, _I thought to myself suddenly when scooping up the books_. _Holding them all like this was tricky, I had to balance them precariously in my arms, each one felt like it was about to slip.

I started to walk to the door, Mike joined me. I resisted the urge to sigh. This time, not in relief. I wanted my stick again (the same one I used to fend off unwanted thoughts, it was just going to have a different purpose now.)

"Talk about heat and pressure." I mumbled, it seemed prudent to at least _try _and talk with Mike. I mean, he was probably a nice guy under all that… _annoyingness_. "I feel like I'm going to turn into a metamorphic rock." Mike stared blankly at me. I was stupid to have engaged him in intelligent conversation. Though I suppose he did have a reason for his blank look. I mean rocks _were _rather a random subject.

But quickly, he composed his vacant look and started laughing enthusiastically, as if I'd just come up with the wittiest joke on the planet. As apposed to just muttering to myself. I frowned, unsure if Mike was trying to impress me, or if he was being sarcastic. Knowing Mike, he probably didn't even know what a metamorphic rock was. I'm not implying that he isn't intelligent or anything… So it was more likely not to be the latter. Mike didn't seem like the type to use sarcasm. Very unlike me in that respect.

Sarcasm was basically my forte. I didn't have many, but I did have sarcasm. No wait - not sarcasm… _irony_.

After he'd stopped laughing, he grinned dopily, his sky blue eyes overly keen, holding the door to the classroom open for me. The gesture was a parody of being a gentleman. Maybe he was trying to take a leaf out of Edward's book. His smile widened at my expression; I guessed he took my shock as amusement. He was sadly mistaken there. I didn't find it remotely humorous. Screw sticks. I needed an axe.

That did it. I was crazy. Actually, and officially crazy. I was fantasizing about running after this boy with a sharp axe. Crazy. I am crazy-

"Lucie?" Mike's voice cut across my insanity argument. My _mental _insanity argument. Yeah. More evidence to add to the crazy theory there. "You okay? You look sort of…_demented_."

Mike was _very _unwise to make that particular observation.

I glared at him. Wondering how I was going to phrase the proceedings: "_Hey Mike, look, I'm sorry if I break your nose. It's just something I've been dying to do for a while now, and since you called me demented and all, I thought it was a pretty darn prudent time in which I could finally execute that particular fantasy of mine."_

"Come on Lucie," He said, interrupting my thoughts again. I swear - I was _this _(and by that I mean, about a distance of 0.05cm) close to punching him. His voice was sickeningly cheery, I mean we had _Gym _next for God's sake; how could he be cheerful? He continued, it was the first time I picked out how irritating his voice sounded, "Don't just stand there; we're going to be late." I didn't move. Instead, I glared at him.

Wait, I've found another forte of mine: glares.

Using all my will power _not _to jump on him there and then, (he'd misinterpret that, I'm sure) my glare turned into a glower. But he just smiled wider, as if my anger was a good sign for him to carry on. Seriously, couldn't he take a hint? Was he misinterpreting my anger as secret admiration or something?

Knowing Mike: yes. Yes he was.

I found myself mentally planning ways in which I could throw my heavy books at him, and trying to determine the angle that would have the most painful impact. I never thought I'd find the day in which both physics and maths would be useful. I was mistaken. Furiously, I tried to work out the perfect angle in my mind. Mike must have noticed my expression.

"Look, I'm sorry I called you demented Lucie. It was a joke. You're not. I swear," I wasn't listening. Doing equations that would determine the best possible book impact on his face was far more exciting. He was still talking though; I heard the last part of his sentence. "…seriously, you're hot!" And with that, he grabbed my arms to pull me closer and then draped his arms lazily around my shoulders.

In one simple swift movement. The entire atmosphere of the room changed for me. My annoyance to Mike vanished, replaced by the feeling that made me want to scream. Mike's rough touch had enforced it; it was too similar to _his_. I tried to block out the thought relentlessly, refusing to let this happen now. Of all times, at school and with _Mike_.

It really wasn't Mike's fault. He had had no idea that this would happen. He didn't realise that only yesterday a sadistic vampire had gripped me, causing an irrational fear to engulf me whenever I was touched roughly. I tried to compose my expression, but soon I knew it was too late.

I could barely distinguish between the thoughts hitting me and reality now. My head swam as Mike slipped the arm around my shoulders to my waist, murmuring something crude in my ear. Still oblivious it seemed. But I didn't hear it. I didn't hear anything expect _his _voice. The one that was now consuming my mind again. The same one that had haunted my dreams over and over.

My entire body froze. I felt the books clasped in my - now ashen white - hands fall to the floor. I didn't hear them connect with the earth. The dull thud didn't reach me. Everything was in slow motion suddenly. I felt the air escape my lungs again, I was winded. I couldn't see. I couldn't _think. _I had no recollection of Mike being beside me as I felt myself fall. The light slipping as darkness loomed forever closer, luring me into the deep abyss. The void in which I couldn't escape.

The floor was now tilted at a 90 degree angle. As I felt myself sway.

_And then the night engulfed me. Time was frozen, yet I could hear a furious wind in my ears. Motionless figures surrounded me; their skin glowed eerily pale in the moonlight. I found my heart racing in anticipation. The atmosphere mirrored the darkness that surrounded me. The figures were too still. I squinted through the black trying to make out who they were. Graceful even in stillness._

I could hear someone calling my name. But I couldn't decipher who. A growl sounded somewhere.

"What happened?!

"She fell, I-I didn't-"

"Leave Newton. _Now_."

"No, she's on the floor, Cullen, you idiot!"

I felt a flurry of movement, almost like I was soaring. But something else tugged at my mind. Something twisted and tainted. Dark and sinister, I felt a whimper leave my lips.

_I couldn't hear anything else after that, I felt like I was underwater. All sound had ceased, and the darkness materialized once more. The eerie clearing surrounded me, and the cold air sent multiple shivers up my spine. I walked towards one of the frozen people, they seemed unable to move or see, their expressions frozen in horror. _

"_Such a useful power…" Drawled a voice. It terrified me, I swivelled around, but everything slowed as I did so. My breath came out in white smoke in the bitter air. I searched for the chilling voice, and my heart beat faster. Adrenaline pumping through my veins. Every nerve was taught like a live wire inside me. My senses sharpened, and I could see the figure motioning towards me._

_He extended one pale fore finger. Beckoning me._

_All I knew was that something was wrong. And a gripping sensation kept me stock still. The man's lips curled, was it meant to be a smile? My eyes darted, searching for an escape as the air thickened. But all I was presented with was the darkness. An opaque black. I looked back to the figure beside me, and my heart leapt in recognition. I searched for his face, craved the warmth of his gaze. With a jolt I realised the entire Cullen coven was around me. But they were unmoving. Unseeing. I bit back a scream._

_But the chilling voice broke my search. It was closer. _

"_Come to me, Luciana. They can't see you. They can't feel anything now. You're trapped with us." Another figure presented himself, a dark cloak billowing in the nonexistent breeze, he was short, and yet radiated unmistakable power. "There's no one else to save you now…" _

_Hands clasped my shoulders and I yelped in shock. Twisting away from the clammy cold. I tried t turn away, but my feet didn't respond. Tears of frustration welled in my eyes, I felt one fall from my cheek at hit the earth. The tiny sound was magnified in the clearing. My frantic heartbeat was the only other sound to break the silence._

_I felt myself falling, but not before I saw a figure run towards me, I couldn't see properly with the tears blurring my vision. She was running. It didn't make sense, everyone else was still. I was bound to the spot as were the rest of the Cullens around me. It was a girl, her brown hair was nearly black in the lack of light, it fell in cascades around her distraught face. She seemed oblivious as to whatever control the darker figures emitted. She grabbed my trembling hand._

"_Run Lucie, run. Now." Bella's voice…_

"_What's happening?" The desperate question left my lips in a cry._

"_Find your father!" She screamed back, but I barely heard it. Sounds were coming to me muffled, I tried to focus sharply on her terrified figure, but the harder I focused, the more she slipped away. I saw her lips move in aguish as she continued to speak, but no sound came out._

_And then Bella faded away._

_And I was swallowed by the earth. _

***

"Lucie, Lucie!" My eyes fluttered open I awoke to Mike crouching over me, anxious. My throat was hoarse and I seemed unable to draw breath. "You were screaming." he answered my unsaid question. Tears splattered to the floor. A growl from above scared me.

"Leave _now _Newton." I closed my eyes to prevent more tears, but darkness presented itself behind my closed lids, a darkness stained with red.

I felt myself shake in fear as someone lifted me.

There was a sensation of time passing. How long I don't know. Voices echoed anxiously above me, but I couldn't distinguish them. I just floated in the sereneness. I couldn't reopen my heavy eyes and soon I realised the darkness was suffocating.

I heard a breath at my ear, the soft velvet was earnest. The sensation of the cool against my heat sent a shiver through me. I felt the person suspending me shift slightly in readjustment.

"You're safe now." There was no doubting the certainty in _that _tone. I knew the truth of his words, but fear still pulsed through my veins, my hands felt cold and clammy as they hung limp, such an odd contrast to my feverish forehead. I felt disorientated. Still captured by the darkness previously, wanting to understand what it meant, but greatly fearing the outcome.

I looked up at him. And the moment I saw his expression, my anger became little less then a dying flame, extinguished into a puff of smoke by the look on his face. I saw the look in his eyes, a distant sunlight breaking my darkness. They withheld a new kind of fire now, a radiant sort that both penetrated me still and knocked me breathless. And I didn't care. I didn't care that I shouldn't have felt like this. I didn't care that I'd been angry at him. I didn't care that it was wrong. In that instant, the chaos fell away, and only one thought saturated my clogged up mind. Because Edward dispelled all of that. He countered the foreshadowing furore that was plaguing my dreams. He could _understand_.

He would have seen all that. Edward could witness my dreams; I had no clue as what he made of it. But I knew he would have experienced the same consuming darkness.

I just stared at him as he stared at me when I collapsed against him, into his hard embrace.

I mumbled softly two - yet so portentous - words into his marble chest.

"You're forgiven."

He looked back at me, his voice shook slightly.

"Don't ever do that again." He whispered. Angling my face so that I had to look into his.

"What?" My voice croaked. My heart thrummed rapidly at the same time as butterflies erupted in my stomach again.

"Faint without me right next to you. Mike was a pain to fight off. The idiot didn't even catch you." He muttered viciously, but not without staring at me, humour underlined his dark tone. I smiled weakly, my strength returning slightly.

"And you would have?" I asked sceptically.

His expression was far too serious.

"Without a doubt."

***

**Awhhs. They made up! I can predict the torrent of reviews going: **_**Where's Bella? **_**Can't say. Not very hard to guess… but she appeared in the creepy dream o.o… foreshadowing much? **

**Ha! You can't threaten me now. Because that was **_**not **_**a cliffy. I had to end it there… because I would have ended up going on and on… and then the length would have been more ridiculous than it already is. Sorry Esme didn't have a big part… ugh. Too many characters to fit in! Now, I think only one reviewer requested they went back to school. Hehe. Sorry, I just had to, and it shows how messed up everything is in a way (..or maybe not) OH, and with questions regarding: **_**isn't her father bothered about her staying with the Cullens**_**?! She was only away for one night. And I won't say much more… because I've kept you all hanging regarding the Lucie's father situation, haven't I? *evil cackle***

**This was one of those chapters that baffle me. *grunt* There were things here, that just.. Sprung into life! Like Lucie's conversation with Carlisle? … That was **_**not **_**meant to happen. *I do believe I began ranting on about potassium levels at one point. Arbitrary much?) But. It did. I have no control over my characters, it's ludicrous. So yeah. Apologies if you were confused at that. I didn't delete it. Who knows, maybe you all learnt something useful… ah what am I kidding :p**

**Oh dear me… as you might have noticed, my sort of **_**aversion **_**to Mike slipped out a bit here eh? I don't even hate Mike that much…I just… it's so funny to threaten him with nose-breaking-situations… yeah. I know. I'm crazy. Get over it already :p**

**HA! I've decided this has uncanny likenesses to Harry Potter. Okay, so I re-read this, and you know when Lucie woke up and Mike was like: 'you were screaming' well… that was kinda like when Harry woke up from the almost-dementor-attack on the Hogwarts express. SO. We officially have a new addition to the cast: with Carlisle starring as Gandalf; (okay, not Harry Potter, but… close enough :p) Edward starring as Dumbledore. And Mike… MIKE is a DEMENTOR! **

**Can't you SEE the similarities? ;) All we need is for Mike to… just, you know… put on a sort of gormless expression (oh, they only have mouths don't they?… we'd need to gouge his eyes out… and his nose…is it possible to 'gouge out a nose'?… Mike can be an experiment!) Get him a kind of billowy dark cloak… and make sure that everything he touches gets oh-so-very-cold… and BAM! We'd have a demented-Mike! (Yeah. Bad pun I know. **_**Demented**_**… **_**dementor**_**… I'll just shut up now… :p)**

**Now. I probably updated 30 minutes later than I should of for one big scary reason. **

'**GAHH. That was scary!' are my current thoughts. (Yup, they're oh-so-very-articulate-huh?) Okay, so just a second ago, (well, 30 minutes ago… I'm still recovering from it all) I was scared a lot, by a big **_**spider**_**. Now, I'm not actually one to get scared that easily (unless someone jumps out at me… then I scream very loudly) but I was sitting here typing and then just froze. Because, just to the left of the screen (yes ON the laptop, inches away from my hands) was this gigantic *…I just waved my arms around to express myself. But then remembered that people cannot see me… darn.* but yeah, literally, gigantic ruddy great SPIDER! **

**So. I didn't scream. I didn't run. I didn't kill it. I just sat there paralysed, convinced it was about to spring and bite me. (… a vampire spider.)**

**In the meantime, Mouse was on my lap. She must have sensed my stillness or something because she looked up and glared (yes, Mouse can glare, quite scarily in fact) at the spider. And then. It MOVED. (Now, you gave to understand, that when anything remotely small and edible-esque to Mouse moves, she sort of goes… well, crazy.) So, the act of moving was very foolish for the little - well, big - spider to do. And I don't think it helped that it sort of… scuttled, (yeah that's the only way I can describe a spider's creepy 8 legged walk: a scuttle) along my screen, this big black thing against the white word document. The next instant, Mouse was jumping on my laptop and chasing the spider along my desk. **

**I, meanwhile, was still paralyzed in my chair. Mouse chased it along the desk and I think she wanted to eat it. So, I tried to stop her, because the thought of her eating the spider was both unpleasant to the spider (because, well, it would've been eaten, wouldn't it?) and myself, because I really did not want to be licked by a spider-eating-Mouse. *incase, on the off chance, that people do not read my babbles. Mouse is a cat… well okay, this doesn't make much more sense if she's a cat does it? Nope. Thought not.* So. End of that anecdote. I was a brave person who ended up saving the spider… which is now… oh crud. I have no idea where it is… **

***shudders some more***

**OKay. I have one tonne of Science revision and a project (nasty little - or should I say stupidly **_**big **_**- those things are *shudders*) to do. The thing is, I've done about 2 pages (out of the um 15 *urrgh!* that we're meant to do.) and well… Mouse has this annoying tendency to sleep across paper surfaces (namely, my work.) So yeah. My small Science work is covered in hairs. **

**And, speaking of hairs. You know that kiwi fruit painting? (you know.. The one that Mouse **_**sat **_**on) My Art teacher questioned me on why it was covered in hair. I had to sporadically lie (because she **_**hates **_**cats) and say that thought I'd use my creative licence and make the picture… abstract. So yeah. Go furry kiwi fruit! **

**I am about to crack people. (no, I have not already done so) There are BIRDS in my walls. Literally living in my walls. Heaven knows how the got in there they are chirping and driving me crazy (.. Well, more crazy then I already am) … I think I'm about to implode. They're so darn **_**annoying**_**! So yeah, could I - perhaps? - get some reviews, **_**preferably **_**before **_**I lose my mind! **_**I'll be… so happy if you review. Please. I'm not very motivated at the moment :( **

**Lily - who'd really appreciate reviews to save her from implosion…**


	32. The Suffocating Shadows

**HEYYYS!**

**I. Shall. Shorten. The. Babbling. (Wish me luck :p)**

**DISCLAIMER: (I have forgotten about this. Again. No, however depressing it is for me to admit, I **_**don't **_**own Twilight, nor any of its later sequels, or characters. Stephenie Meyer does. **_**I am not **_**Stephenie Meyer. If your under the delusion that I am, then I advise you to see someone. Preferably a psychiatrist of some sort.)**

**Late update? :o Sorry (Hedgehog kept making these infuriating **_**beeping **_**noises…) but thanks for being patient. **_**Patience is a virtue, a virtue is a grace, grace was a girl with mud on her face! **_**Erm… anyway, thanks for that. GAH! There are 750 REVIEWS for this story! *gasp!* If you review, then I will love you unconditionally. (Yeah. How many people do you think I've scared away by saying that?) Reviewers are brilliant. (Again, thanks to all the anons too, sorry I can't reply to you) And I'm sorry this is a short chapter (well okay… short for **_**my **_**standards, but hey, no doubt I'll just make them long again next chappy :p)**

**Hehe, look out for the almightily word **_**thwack **_**in this chapter. *Snickers* (yeah, I have this… thing with words that begin with 'thw' namely the two awesome words: **_**thwack **_**and **_**thwarted **_**(I LOVE the word thwarted ;p) it's kinda sad really… they are hardly any words that begin with 'thw'; I can't think of anymore. Oh wait, thwaite is one too. ( I think that's something to do with a reclaimed bit of wild land. But I could be very wrong) So, if you think the word THWACK it's slightly out of place it's probably just because I was desperate for it be used at least once… I mean c'mon, you can't deny it's awesome? Anyway. Look out for that word! **

***shakes head* Re-reading my A/Ns leaves me feeling like you're all going to think I'm crazy. Did I seriously just ramble on about 'thw' words? (*cough* not that this has ever happened before *cough*) Anyway, sorry about that. **

**I don't know when I can update… :( being busy sucks. But, I was pondering (yes, I sit here and ponder) on the issue of reviews. We are rather close to 800 now, aren't we? (again: thanks a herd of nelephants to the amazing reviewers!) so… well, I don't expect to get 50 reviews for this chapter, but please keep in mind that reviews seriously help the speed of updates! **

**The ultimate goal of 1000 reviews in getting steadily more… probable ;)**

**Thanks for reading. Frog knows how you stand it all :p**

**REVIEWS=Fantabulousness! **

**Can I just state, (before you all go read this) that I think this has to be the best start **_**ever **_**to a chapter. Never mind the rest of it, Alice's opening line is brilliant **_**à mon avis **_**{in my opinion... _French_} just thought I'd share the news with you all. Cookies are fantabulous, don't you think? :D**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

I mumbled softly two - yet so portentous - words into his marble chest.

"You're forgiven."

He looked back at me, his voice shook slightly.

"Don't ever do that again." He whispered. Angling my face so that I had to look into his.

"What?" My voice croaked. My heart thrummed rapidly at the same time as butterflies erupted in my stomach again.

"Faint without me right next to you. Mike was a pain to fight off. The idiot didn't even catch you." He muttered viciously, but not without staring at me, humour underlined his dark tone. I smiled weakly, my strength returning slightly.

"And you would have?" I asked sceptically.

His expression was far too serious.

"Without a doubt."

***

**The Suffocating Shadows.**

"Have a cookie." Alice chirped.

"What?" I asked blearily, Alice was talking about cookies?

I'd just asked Edward to put me down, I felt terribly insignificant and plain ridiculous being carried like I'd just broken my leg. When in fact, all I had done was faint. Yeah, _faint_. Quite the casualty case. And now, I was on my feet, staring straight into Alice's eager eyes. Hang on, where had _she _come from?

I looked at my surroundings, my eyes widening. We were in the deserted car park again. I grimaced when I realised the similarity to before. The last time I'd fainted I'd ended up here… I hoped some kind of twisted tradition wasn't forming.

My head was swimming. I suddenly regretted my decision on making Edward let me stand alone. I was going to fall, I knew it and - by a surreptitious glance to my right - Edward did too. The hard concrete beneath me did _not _look very appealing to land on.

Okay, so my surreptitious glance was no longer surreptitious, mainly because I couldn't draw my eyes away from him. I supposed I could use some sort of temporary concussion as an excuse this time. He was frowning, his perfect ivory forehead crumpled as he assessed me. In any other situation, the look could have angered me - offended me even. But not now. I knew what his expression meant, I knew the meaning behind his golden eyes, I understood why he looked worried.

Because I knew I was feeling the same way. It was evident Edward had experienced my dream. That was the reason for his comfort before (I wasn't going to kid myself that it was anything _more _than comfort.) I felt my stomach twist at the memory of what had happened moments early - the same thing that had culminated in me collapsing. Convulsing in an unknown fear.

The truth was screaming at me from my every action I took. My every thought, action and consequence led up to it; I was _weak. _And yet, despite this knowledge, I felt light-headed again at the thought. The dream pulled elusively on my mind, tempting me to shut my tired eyes. There was acidic taste on my tongue; I felt sick.

With more effort then usual, I focused on Alice in front of me, she seemed unfazed, but Edward's eyes were trained on me like a hawk. The frown had deepened. He'd evidently noticed my thoughts, even if he couldn't specifically _see _them; they were obvious on my face. Again, I focused on Alice, realising my entire train of thought had only lasted a matter of seconds, hence her usual optimistic self towards me.

She continued in the same pealing tune, her voice sounded almost amused by the situation. Alice was strange. "I saw this happening you know, you fainting and Mike rushing to your side, though he caught you in my vision, sorry about that." She grimaced slightly, but continued on the same breath, "but I knew this would happen so I asked Esme to make cookies. They're a good recovery food substance apparently, and even for human food they look quite nice. Carlisle mentioned sugar is something you need more of Lucie, and these are packed with the stuff. They're fudge flavoured I think; try one." I frowned in dismay at her tone of voice, still fuelled with some unknown alacrity. Her lithe words were slow to take effect on me, I couldn't process the information quick enough.

Still, anyone would have found Alice odd. The delicate ethereal features - that made her look like she belonged in some sort of magical realm as apposed to Forks; the graceful lope that put ballerinas to shame; and the pealing soprano voice. Yes, Alice _was _odd. She seemed to radiate sanguinity, despite the fact that I was in a half catatonic state, she was beaming.

I wouldn't have been surprised if she started to bounce. I mentally pictured her on a bright yellow space hopper.

She handed me a brown paper bag. It broke me out of my ridiculous thoughts. I looked at it for a long moment; no doubt looking mentally handicapped. But I couldn't think properly my mind was racing. Why was Alice so adamant about making me eat? Other issues were far more important at this moment in time. The thought of them had my chest constrict. I fought stubbornly against the impounding thoughts that would end up in me screaming.

"_There's no one else to save you now…" Cold hands gripping me, the stench of something rotten tainted, overwhelming. A clammy embrace preventing me from running…_

Alice was looking at me, waiting for my response.

I could only hope she didn't see the fear in my eyes. I tried to banish the unwelcome thoughts from my head again, instead thinking up how to reply. It was silly; maybe I should have just grabbed the bag. I mean, I _liked _cookies. It really wasn't fair what thoughts were coming to my mind, none were cookie-related. On the contrary, the very thought of them made me lose my appetite.

But before I could answer, Edward spoke - and to my shock - he sounded positively furious.

"You _saw _this Alice? And you blocked it from me?!" It didn't sound like a question towards the end, more of an accusation, bordering on the verge of a threat. "Is _this _the reason for you reciting the Old Testament in Latin?" Wow. You had to give it to the pixie; she was creative to think of something like that. I gaped at him, discarding other thoughts and half wanting to demand what his problem was; half wanting to be in his arms again. I frowned at the polar desires.

"Nope, blocking wasn't required, dear brother," Alice said with a twinkle in her tawny eyes, "_you _were too preoccupied." Alice had a strange smile on her face, accompanied by the knowing look in her eyes that made them brighten. It wasn't making much sense to me, but Edward frowned at whatever she was thinking. Preoccupation? What? Edward was preoccupied? But all he'd done this morning was… well, I didn't honestly know. From might point of view he'd just been a bit of an arrogant and badly apologising vampire. _That _hardly counted as being preoccupied, I was the only one he'd been acting differently to. It wasn't as if he'd been concentrating on me.

I should have felt cross at feeling so confused; but didn't. My eyes flickered back from Alice's smug expression; to Edward's furrowed one. But I soon stopped the movement; my eyes felt heavier. The room seemed to be shaking slightly again. I wondered if there was a parade of some sort coming through. Perhaps elephants.

Promptly, I concentrated on the conversation more sharply, I felt like slapping myself awake. Honestly. What was it with my delusional mind and _elephants_? This was getting out of hand.

I felt dizzy. Colours kept blurring.

"I don't believe this, why didn't you stop it!?" That was Edward's voice, he still sounded angry. It took me several seconds to realise that I should have been able to have seen his facial expression to go with it. By that time, I had already fallen.

Cold arms soothed my skin; a small sigh escaped my lips.

Everything merged around me, as I drifted off. I heard Alice's voice amused above me.

"I saw that too."

_Things today just weren't making sense…_

***

I awoke in the back of the Volvo, my head was devoid of terrifying images. It confused me, until of course - I felt a marble figure beside me, it appeared I hadn't slept for long. Alice turned round in the front seat, we were riving ridiculously fast, but I didn't have the strength to ask Alice to slow down. Alice trilled suddenly - the sound was slightly off though - somehow, I knew they'd been talking before I'd awoken.

"You know Lucie, before you passed out on me-" Edward cut in, did his grip around me tighten? And hang on, why the hell was his arm around my _waist_? The thought made me feel dizzy. I looked anywhere but at him. A third fainting occurrence was definitely _not _something I needed right now.

"Actually Alice, I believe she passed out on _me_." I frowned, Edward sounded almost smug.

"No, I was the one talking to her!" Alice's tone was that of a petulant 4 year old.

"No - you weren't, I-"

"Umm," Was my grand way of interrupting their argument, I twisted out of Edward's grip to face him and sat myself up properly, "_actually_," I tried to mimic Edward's silky articulation, and sounded ridiculous. My words - to my surprise - weren't mumbled from only just waking up. They were coherent, which was more than could be said for my current thoughts. "I believe you and Edward were arguing before I…" But I trailed off. My cheeks reddening. I _knew _should have kept my mouth shut. I saw Edward's lips tug at the corners slightly.

"Before you collapsed you mean," He commented lightly. I glared at him.

"I didn't _collapse_, I just…" Oh crud. I _did _collapse. And into _his _arms. I blushed even more furiously.

"Fainted?" He suggested. I glared at him again; I couldn't win the argument. He was right.

"There's no need to make it sound so melodramatic," I mumbled crossly under my breath. I heard a chuckle. Alice took the event as means to cut in.

"Well, as I was saying. You collapsed-" I turned to glare at _her_. She looked like she was fighting a smile too. This was getting ridiculous again. My temper really wasn't something to mess with at the moment, I was seriously sleep deprived, it was one hell of an excuse to be cranky. I smiled vindictively at the thought of releasing some of my bottled up wrath on Edward.

"And," Alice continued, "you didn't get a chance to eat the cookies. And you _have _to." _Okay_. Alice was quite scary in that tone. I had several images of her _forcing _me to eat the cookies, all the while looking like a crazed pixie. She saw my expression and then added something as an afterthought "A double collapsing means you need double the amount."

"I'm not hungry." I said tightly. They really weren't going to let the collapsing thing pass, were they? The sentence seemed to have thrown Alice though. She stared at me blankly.

"Oh," But then she frowned, "wait, yes you are, you haven't eaten anything since lunch!" Yeah. Lunch. It was only an hour ago. Jeesh. Did Alice think I was going to become a sudden glutton for cookies within that time span?

"No, really I'm not-" It was at that precise moment, that my stomach betrayed me. It sounded like it contained demons. Angry demons. I glared down at it. _Traitor_.

Alice thrust the paper bag into my hands; I took a cookie out and started to eat. Frowning at how delicious it was, it really didn't help with my case. Trust Esme to know how I _adored _fudge. I sat like that, watching the mass of blurred green through the windows, and nibbling on the soft cookie. I stopped eating after the second though. Eating cookies - I decided as I felt my stomach churn - in a car travelling over the speed limit was _not _a good idea.

There was a sharp turn to the right then, it flung me into Edward's granite figure, he prised me off him easily, and I blushed again. But the movement had reminded me that we were driving. And I suddenly realised I had no idea where to. But before I could phrase the question, an answer presented itself, in the form of the Cullens drive.

I stopped when we reached the front steps, Emmett was in front of the door, barring entrance.

"What happened?" He asked, the question was directed at Alice and Edward, as if he knew I couldn't supply an answer. I scowled at that and my lips became a thin line. I thought my glare was menacing; they should have all been cowering.

No one even seemed to notice. Story of my life.

Rosalie appeared by Emmett's side, looking gloriously perfect. My self confidence died in that instant. Literally, died. She was examining her perfect fingers and fastidiously filing them, with the air of being slightly bored.

"Lucie collapsed." Alice said lightly. Emmett snorted, Rosalie snickered, and _I _glared.

Edward's response confused me the most though. He made a sound suspiciously like a grunt. And mumbled something too low for my ears. I heard the name 'Mike Newton' followed by what sounded like a string of profanities. Emmett grinned.

"Did you say Mike?" Rosalie looked up from her nails, her voice a seductive drawl, sending a furtive smile to Alice that I didn't miss. Emmett, did miss it though, his jaw suddenly became taught, the grin vanishing.

"Yeah," Alice said lightly, playing along to Emmett's expense. His expression was angry now. The grin had disappeared. I looked at Edward to see a smile of grim approval on his face. I could tell he was reading Emmett's thoughts. No doubt Emmett was planning to do something significantly more painful to Mike than just breaking his nose, _that _was evident just by his expression.

"Lucie collapsed," She said in a matter of fact tone. Ugh! Seriously, did they have to keep saying I _collapsed_? "And Mike caught her," Rosalie rose an eyebrow in surprise at that, turning to me and putting on a look of envy. Envy for _Mike Newton_. I had to give it to her; Rosalie could seriously act.

"Oh, Lucie, you're so lucky." Rosalie purred wistfully. She winked to prove it was a joke (probably because I looked horrified) Emmett looked livid. It was becoming increasingly difficult not to release a giggle.

"He didn't catch her actually." Edward's voice was dry and punctual. "_I _did that." Again. Smug. My scowl returned.

"Show off." I muttered darkly.

I'd officially had enough of their teasing. Yes, Emmett looked hilarious, but somehow the conversation had come back to me 'collapsing' (to use their overly dramatic phrase) and I was jaded by it. Rosalie and Emmett disappeared for a bit after that, I don't think anyone had intentions of following them. Rosalie had said something about 'proving' Emmett that she didn't have an infatuation with Mike. I did _not_ need anymore information on that front.

The atmosphere was odd though. Strained in some respects. Alice and Jasper were perfectly normal, as were Esme and Carlilse, it seemed like ditching school was a regular occurrence for them. Edward however, to be perfectly honest: was annoying me. He was _constantly_ frowning. And to make it worse, _I_seemed to constantly be the reason for his scowls. It wouldn't have mattered any other day... but it did now; I didn't want to admit how much they hurt. It was irrational after all. I sat with Emmett (who now looked less angry and was probably less likly to run off and kill Mike) when I walked into the sitting room.

The moment I entered it, Edward left.

I sighed, not sure whether to be annoyed or upset.

"You know, Edward needs a good shove," Emmett commented lightly, "Preferably off something very high up; like a cliff."

I snorted. Emmett had a brilliant way to start conversation.

"A cliff?" I questioned, "Would that even effect him?"

"Probably not," Emmett said, thoughtfully scratching his chin and flashing another grin at me. "But you never know, it _might _teach him a lesson. Bella jumped off a cliff though… and Esme. I don't think they changed much."

"That settles it then," I said lightly, trying to avert the conversation from mention of Bella again, I couldn't deal with the thoughts that arose at her name. Edward's expression was still burning in my mind, along with the ever dominant darkness.

"What?" Emmett looked genuinely confused. Confused! I grinned in grim satisfaction, resisting to urge to shout something like: _ha! How does _that _feel, huh? _I had to admit, I suddenly saw why my confusion made them laugh. Emmett's expression _was _rather funny.

"Edward's a lost case. If shoving him off a cliff won't help; nothing will." Emmett nodded in solemnity, it just made me grin again. Suddenly however, Emmett's face lit up, it was uncannily like when a light bulb appears over someone's head in a cartoon.

"I know what'll fix him." He stated with pride. I raised my eyebrows. "A good _thwack_. Again, preferably, to his head." Emmett was practically beaming now, eager for a fight.

I just smiled again. It was silly though. I shouldn't have been smiling. Emmett and I were discussing ways of hitting Edward as a method of somehow improving him. It really shouldn't have been a laughing matter. It appeared I'd discovered something about myself.

I had a rather sick sense of humour, and so, it seemed, did Emmett.

That thought made the wry smile form over my lips again.

***

Time passed easily here, I thought to myself as Esme began to cook some food for me. Jasper (who until this point, I hadn't seen much) was now with Alice. They didn't talk a lot, but I could see how his eyes followed her, how each of their movements was synchronised together, perfectly in sync. Alice disappeared after that, and Jasper gave me an odd look. To me it looked like _pity_.

I suddenly became very suspicious.

Emmett was talking next to me, but my eyes were watching Jasper. It didn't take long for my suspicions to be confirmed.

"Lucie?" Alice's trilling voice sang from up the staircase. I didn't have time to respond before she whooshed down, supporting several large objects. I stared at them in disbelief. It was amazing - how even in times as chaotic as these - Alice seemed to think my attire was of the uttermost importance.

"Dear God," I muttered darkly as Alice squealed happily, laden with far too many bags for her petite frame. No, scratch that - laden with far too many bags for even _Emmett's _huge frame. "The dread hour is nigh." Someone from behind me snorted.

Emmett. Big surprise.

"You make it sound like she's going to put you through a painful experience." He remarked, chuckling.

I replied, my voice the epitome of seriousness.

"She _is_."

***

I had gotten away from Alice pretty much unscathed. I ran a hand through my recently brushed hair, and glowered at the clothes Alice had picked out for me. But I sighed quietly. I knew why Alice had done all that. I could tell something wasn't right; everyone's reactions were too _forced_. It was a method of distracting me, I knew they didn't want me t be scared. It sickened me how I was reacting to everything. The slightest rough touch had me fainting.

I no longer felt like talking. A horrible image flashed before my eyes once more, Bella, ashen, screaming at me to find my father. The memories I'd blocked were relentless now, determined to force out a scream from me. I pursed my lips.

I gasped, gripping the staircase rail to stay upright. I'd tried to prevent such images before, banished them to a part of my mind in which I could forget. But I couldn't do that. Not when such things had to be dealt with. Again, the images burned behind eyes I hadn't realised I'd shut. Her name left my lips in a choked sound.

"Bella…" I whispered, my fear was rising at the memory of her face, torn in anguish. Edward stiffened. A dark look crossed across his eyes. I wanted to understand his expression, but my attempts were abortive. He looked pained in a way. I knew how much he loved her. How much strain he was under not to run to her there and then.

"She's with the wolves. Victoria made an appearance last night and they won't let her out of their sight. She took some of Bella's clothing, she's got her scent. The wolves are the only thing that can mask it." His words were fast and informative. All emotion had been taken from them. They were dead, matching the glassy look in his eyes. He spoke his next words darkly, as if admitting them was painful to him. "It's… safer for her there…"

I didn't know what to do. _Stop staring, that'd be a good starting point! _I ignored my thoughts. Edward's hands were balled fists at his sides; the pale skin there was taut, tendons prominent through the snowy texture.

I looked away.

The look across Edward's face scared me more than I was willing to tell myself.

He let out a gust of air beside me; we were the only two in the hallway. He was standing straight as board, his eyes forever flickering to the window. He wanted to find her. I was slumped slightly against the staircase. I sank to the steps silently. The tension in the air was almost palpable. I looked anywhere but at him.

"I don't know what to do…" He said quietly, his words were broken. I looked at him in alarm. I hadn't expected this. He'd been avoiding me, though I'd never put that down to what was now running through my mind. I didn't like the way he sounded so lost.

"What do you mean?" I wanted to kick myself. Why, why, of all times, was my stupid voice _breathless_?! He didn't seem to notice, his eyes fixed on a point in the sky. I was shocked when he began to speak, his words were fast, and I had to strain my ears to catch them all.

"I saw your dream Lucie." The instant he said the words, my stomach tightened. The air was harder to breathe around me; I couldn't prevent the torrent of thoughts that hit me as I relived it.

_The shorter figure presented himself, the same dark cloak billowing in the nonexistent breeze, he was the one who radiated unmistakable power. I could hear the voice again, clearly as I had done previously, it sent multiple shivers through me. I fought against the scream rising in my suddenly hoarse throat. "There's no one else to save you now…" _

_The hands clasping my shoulders, the clammy touch, the inability to move…_

No. The thought was clear in my mind. I held onto that; tried to block out the others.

I concentrated on Edward's voice, hard and clipped. Anything was better than reliving _that_. He wasn't looking at me when I snapped my eyes open again. He hadn't even noticed the change. I listened to his words, despite the vehemence that underlined his tone. I knew I could take his anger, so long as he wasn't broken I'd be okay.

"And I don't understand it. I don't know how much to place on it, what to believe and what not to. I understand why we all seemed motionless in it. The smaller figure was Alec; he has a power that can desensitize people. He cuts of your senses. He can make you unable to see, hear, smell or feel anything. The Volturi use him to desensitize people as an attack in a war and if they are being merciful to a victim before they kill them. But he didn't do that in your dream, he used it to immobilise us, as means to get to you. Now tell me Lucie, why is that?"

I was stunned into silence. He still wouldn't look at me.

I was terrified. He was getting closer and closer to the truth.

I didn't like his words, they were filled with anger. His balled fists remained pinned to his side, there was a distance of a meter between us and I didn't know whether I wanted that to be shortened or lengthened. He carried on talking when I didn't respond.

"If we're to assume your dreams are foreshadowing of future events like Alice's visions, then we're also assuming that they're accurate to an extent. And if we're assuming they're accurate, then tell me, why do they want you? I've been thinking Lucie, I thought about this, and it _doesn't make sense_. Have you had dreams like this recently? One's where they want _you_?"

I didn't answer. Panic was surging through me.

"The Volturi are the most powerful vampire coven Lucie. There are ten vampires just for their _guard_. Our entire species treats them like royalty, the Deity. They can do anything with their power." His voice was shaking, but despite his words, his tone did not hold respect, or admiration.

It held disgust.

"And they want you." This wasn't a query anymore, it was fact. A statement. Slowly he turned. To face me, I half expected his eyes to be coal black, but they were still gold, a shade of brilliant topaz. I looked down, unwilling for him to see the fear in my eyes.

"And Bella was in your dream Lucie," He said quietly, "she's the only person that can resist Alec's control. She can't feel it; she's impenetrable. It's why I can't read her mind." I didn't say anything, the broken edge had returned to his voice.

Alice came through then, I was grateful for the interruption. Jasper had his hand interlocked with hers; his face was taut, ochre eyes that kept flitting to Alice every few moments.

The tension in the room intensified.

Alice's face was a snowy white, her eyes met Edward's, I didn't miss the horror in them.

"_What_?" I turned around sharply to see him on his feet, staring at Alice.

"Jeez Edward, calm down." Emmett said, he had the same expression as I, one of confusion. It was the first time I'd seen him affected by something - normally unperturbed. It worried me. This was bad.

"_Shut up _Emmett." Edward growled, his hands were shaking. He turned to Alice again. "When did you see that?" His voice was commanding, I'd never seen him more livid.

"Edward, it might not be true, she could be fine-" I suddenly knew who they were talking about. Bella.

"I'm leaving." He spat, and before I could blink he'd gone.

Alice looked at Jasper and sighed.

"I _knew _he'd have that reaction…" She muttered under her breath.

"What happened?" It appeared I was still the only one in the dark, well apart from Emmett maybe. No one answered me for a moment. It was Jasper who eventually spoke.

"Alice had a vision of Bella… it didn't make sense because normally the future's blank whenever she's with the werewolves. Alice was alarmed but couldn't see anything else, we came to look for Carlisle, ran into Edward… and he…"

"Overreacted." Alice summed up with another sigh.

"Surprise, surprise," Someone muttered, it sounded like Emmett. Alice continued as if she hadn't heard his words.

"He's been desperate to go to her all day. The boy has no willpower." I don't know _why _my chest constricted at her words; I shouldn't have been surprised that Edward had wanted to see Bella. My dream had probably made it harder for him. I grimaced.

Emmett left shortly, Alice and Jasper talked, and I sat on the steps. My throat hurt, I couldn't seem to find my voice. Tired eyes continued to flicker shut every few seconds. A thought was burning in my mind. I couldn't seem to push it away.

"I want to go home." I murmured finally. My voice was weak. The few minutes in which I hadn't said anything had cleared my mind up. I needed to see him. I'd only been gone for a day, I knew Alice would have informed him where I was, and knowing my dad Alice would have convinced him I was fine. But all the same, I needed him. I just wanted to hug him and tell him that I loved him. I hadn't forgotten how important I was to him. He had no idea _he _important he was to me.

No answer.

Alice stared at the floor, frowning. I knew why she was indecisive; I should have felt selfish for wanting to see him with the recent events. Alice and Jasper probably wanted to find Edward. Still, I relentlessly continued, something unknown was twisting inside me.

_Panic_.

I had no idea why, but something felt wrong.

"I want to see my dad." My voice didn't sound whiny like I was expecting. In fact, towards the end my voice quietened. Revealing far too much. Petulance would have been a safer option but I couldn't summon it. My head was hurting, I stood up.

"Please?" I whispered.

Jasper was staring at me. He could feel my anxiety. He smiled reassuringly and I felt calm suddenly. I didn't know whether to be grateful or afraid.

"Alice and I will take you."

***

I looked the previous paintings my father had done and felt a sudden tumult of nostalgia. I fought hard against not crumpling to the floor, as unshed tears burned behind my eyes.

I was standing in his study, Alice and Jasper remained in the sitting room, and I was grateful they'd left me alone. I didn't want them to see me like this.

I'd walked into the house, and it had taken me roughly two seconds to realise that something was wrong. The air surrounding me was dark and cold and despite the prevailing light still emanating through the dark clouds, the room felt hostile. Remote and empty.

Like something was missing from it.

Or _someone_.

It was then that I had ran in here, blocking out the thoughts of what could have happened. Searching for some sign that he was still here. I'd ran upstairs first, searched each room in the house. His car had been in the drive, everything was how it was the last time I'd left it.

I fought stubbornly, relentlessly, against the temptation of unconsciousness. I _had _to find him. I shook slightly, tears burning in my eyes. I widened them, refusing to let anymore weaknesses show. It just wasn't _fair _that he had to be like this. I could tell that I was not the only one suffering. And I hated that. Concealing something is one thing, I could cope with that. I didn't want sympathy from the Cullens; they'd already given me something I hadn't had in a long time. A family. I didn't even deserve that. But as I stood in the deserted study, with the books layered with fine dust from non use I wanted no more than to cry.

Because we'd been wrong. My father and I had tried to beat the impossible, and I knew we were failing.

You can never escape the past.

Unconsciously, I walked towards my father's desk, searching for some clue that could tell me what had happened. Frustration welled up inside me as my hands shook, I couldn't do anything. I flitted through the journals and paper that littered the desk, not bothering to read what was inside them. My hand stopped when I reached the brass handle of a drawer though, all the breath left my lungs as a forgotten memory hit.

_I was little over seven, staring at the big wooden desk. The intricate engravings on the dark mahogany were hard to decipher from age. My small hand reached out to touch the shiny brass handle, curiosity sparking at what was inside the drawer. The metal was a strange texture; I hadn't expected it to be so cold. When I pulled however, the drawer didn't move, I noticed a small keyhole. It was locked._

_There was a sound of the door opening. I turned around quickly on the spot, nearly tripping in the process. My father was in the doorway, running a hand through his dark hair, he looked shocked to see me in his study._

"_Lucie," He murmured quietly, quickly walking across the room, "What're you doing sweetie?" I eagerly jumped into his embrace, resting my head at the hollow of his throat and inhaling the familiar smell of old parchment and the smell I associated with a dying fire. The smell of him._

"_What's in the drawer daddy?" I asked, quickly prising myself out of his arms and pulling him towards the desk again. He coughed slightly and I wondered if he was sick. _

"_Nothing honey, just old papers."_

"_Why is it locked?" I asked quietly. _

_He stopped for a second, looking at me, a small frown line appearing in the middle of his forehead. I knew the look in is brown eyes, he did that when he was deciding something. I decided to prompt him quietly, "Tell me daddy, please?"_

_Cautiously, he pulled me onto his shoulders and I suddenly realised I didn't mind what was in the drawer; a piggyback was something I'd much rather prefer. But he whispered something before pulling me up completely. _

"_That drawer Lucie, is something that'll only be open if I need to message you, okay? It can be our drawer, keep it a secret and if ever I'm not at home one day, you can look in there for answers." I nodded eagerly at the mention of keeping something between us. And squeezing his hand in signal for the run round the house to begin._

With a gasp I was back in the present, my hand outstretched in front of the drawer, the memory quietly fading. I'd never understood his words back then, never once questioned the fervency as he'd whispered the words, or the frown that had appeared on his usually smiling face.

But now, I thought I knew why.

Cautiously, I pulled on the brass handle; it was the same cold texture as I remembered. It opened easily, no longer locked.

And inside, was one single note.

His writing was inimitable, the same nearly illegible scrawl that I'd seen so many times when I watched him work. There was no mistaking that it was he who had written the message. I opened the paper with shaking hands. "Lucie," It was addressed.

_If you__'re the same genius girl I know you are you'll find this note. I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye but it's better this way, I promise. I need you to know I'm safe. I have to do this; I can't say where I'm going because I don't know. You need to trust me and not follow, it's what -_

There was a smudge where the two words to end that sentence were, the ink had run from tears. I felt my throat constrict as I pictured him writing the note. I couldn't make out whether it had said '_it's what she wants_' or '_he wants' _the smudge had made it cryptic. I carried on reading, ignoring my trembling ashen hands that shook the paper.

_Please don't come after me honey. I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me, I should have told you years ago and I didn't. And it's too late now. I was a coward, I can only hope you'll find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me for that. You were never meant to be part of this, that's why your mother did it all. I'm sorry Lucie, so sorry. _

_Never forget that I love you. Stay safe, for me. _

_Dad._

I was vaguely aware that someone else was beside me. Though I hadn't heard the door being used. My head was pounding painfully and now my eyes were stinging from the act of trying to sustain tears. I didn't want to cry. My father hated it when I cried. The note slipped from my grasp as I tried to comprehend the words. They didn't make sense.

In the next few moments, I vaguely recollected voices. Murmured anxious notes passing by me too fast for me to process in the turmoil I was inwardly experiencing. I heard my name amongst the fray somewhere, but I didn't react. I didn't so much as lift my head in recognition of the sound. Because I no longer cared. My name meant nothing compared to what had happened.

The darkness seemed almost welcoming now. I'd failed him. My father was lost. My father had been taken. I'd been so _stupid_. And now he was gone, perhaps forever. _I didn't even know if he was still alive_. There was no point in talking, it wouldn't solve anything. I didn't fell like crying now. No moisture would present itself, as if I didn't deserve the luxury of tears. And it was true. I didn't.

I couldn't see anymore, and I didn't want to; the world had shattered and I was no more than debris. Crumpled. Lost. And broken.

"Whoa, steady there." A hand was gripping my elbow, stopping whatever collapse I would have made. I didn't realise I'd been shaking till that point. I knew I was trembling; it explained why I couldn't stand straight, but I didn't feel it.

Suddenly I was aware of more then just one hand steadying me; I could hear Jasper's voice in my ear, a rough, anxious bass - coaxing me. I could feel the power he was inflicting upon me, trying to soothe the chaos. Trying to prevent my fear and replace it by serenity. The emotions he kept enforcing upon me heightened at his touch, the connection stronger. But not strong enough to penetrate the numbness. My stance didn't change; instead, I crumpled into the hard marble. Jasper's strong arms were now suspending me. Preventing my figure from hitting the cold floor.

But nothing was enough to keep me from falling

***

My dreams were chaotic, frantic voices and cries piercing an endless night. It was very hard not to cry out from fear; the scenes I had seen seemed far too vivid to be something I could think up. Logic wasn't something on my side and neither was common sense, in theory I shouldn't have been like this every time I awoke. Dazed and disorientated, with the feeling that I hadn't got any sleep at all.

But still, I didn't open my eyes as I began to regain consciousness, aware of voices above me. I wondered how long I'd been asleep for; the memory of drifting was hazy. The last thing I remembered was Jasper's melodic voice, a lull that I'd been afraid to succumb to.

"So it was intentional? Her father left at his own will?"

"I wouldn't say own will, the note is cryptic but it doesn't seem like a decision he liked. Either the Volturi or Victoria are involved in this, though I can't smell their scent anywhere." My heart stung at the words being said, my mind was too slow to understand who'd said them.

"How long has she been like this?" I recognised Carlisle's smooth tone. A relaxed medical one, a cool hand was against my forehead, taking my temperature. I continued to lie still, not yet ready to say I was awake.

"A few hours," Alice's tone was quiet, anxiety underlined it.

"She needed the rest." Carlisle's voice again, I could hear the approval in his tone. But I heard a sigh; disagreement to Carlisle's words.

"She hasn't been getting any Carlisle, her writhes prove as much." I suppressed a grimace. _Writhes_? That certainly didn't sound good.

"Jasper, what has she been feeling?"

I knew what he was about to say before he said it.

"Fear."

"Just that?…" Speculation and curiosity burned through the two words.

"No, of course not," Jasper sounded angry; I nearly reopened my eyes in shock, but kept them closed. I couldn't deal with their kindness yet. I needed to compose myself first, Jasper continued, his voice was black. "She terrified Carlisle. And not even for herself. Every second she feels a new emotion, anxiety, despair, anguish… it's unbearable. And _this_," His voice was quavering slightly, I tried to hold in my gasp, "is only what she's like when she's _unconscious_. It's worse when she's awake, the child thinks too much."

I didn't know how to react to Jasper's words. Scared by the rage in them.

There was a sigh. Jasper spoke more quietly, his voice was soft, the rage had vanished. He sounded almost rueful.

"She's carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders."

There was a long silence. I didn't want to ponder on Jasper's words. I took that moment to prove I was awake.

Hesitantly, I opened my eyes. Carlisle moved slightly to give me space to sit up. Jasper smiled warmly up at me, I was on the familiar blue sofa, they hadn't moved me far. I was still ayhome. The thought gave me warmth, until it was frozen by the bitter despair, the _emptiness_. My father wasn't here. They began to talk again, Carlisle explained to me that I wasn't hurt, saying that my passing out had been due more to tiredness than anything else. I didn't bother to tell him that it'd been mainly from realisation. I smiled weakly at him though; sincerity was never something Carlisle lacked.

"You're the only one who hasn't referred to that as collapsing." I said lightly, trying to avert the conversation from anything that would enforce that very thing. He smiled at me and then began to talk to Alice, I heard snippets from the conversation, but I didn't try to listen. I sat silently, trying to ignore the hollow ache in my chest. Soon they left the room, I didn't need to ask why. Whatever they were now discussing was probably something they thought would upset me.

"Finally decided to stop feigning sleep?" Jasper commented. I'd forgotten he was in the room, I swivelled round so he him right next to me. My jaw dropped.

"How did you know?" I hissed.

"You're a terrible actress; and your confusion increased significantly." I looked at him for a long moment and then sighed. Of course Jasper would have been able to tell if I'd been asleep or not, I'd forgotten that factor. Still, the news came as a shock; did that mean he meant me to hear the words he said?

"I'm not a child." I muttered.

"What?" Jasper asked.

"Before, you said I thought too much. You referred to me as a child." I said crossly, it was an irrational thing to feel cross about. But I did. I wasn't a child; I was the same physical age as Edward. Seventeen was way beyond my definition of being a child. Jasper shrugged, but elaborated; probably because of the scowl on my face.

"You are a child, in comparison to us all. I could refer to you as human if you'd prefer."

"How about calling me Lucie, you know my _name_."

"Lucie then. I'm sorry I called you a child." He smiled at me charmingly and I couldn't help a weak one of my own. Whether Jasper was shaping my mood or not, I didn't care. It was nice to feel safe for once. But still the images came to mind, the note in the drawer firm in my memory. I looked at Jasper, his perfect face was concerned. I hated that. I felt awful for him being bale to feel what I was; it was surprising he could stay in the room. He grimaced slightly.

"Sorry," I said quietly, my voice was thick. "You shouldn't have to do this. I'm surprised you haven't left yet. I mean, thanks for… Making me feel calm but, look, you can go you know? I-I don't _need _you here, I'm-" I hadn't realised that I was choking slightly. Jasper interrupted me.

"I _do_ need to do this Lucie. You're part of our family now." I couldn't help the gratitude that swelled at his words, despite how unworthy I seemed to get such a statement. I didn't feel, like part of their family, a black mark against their perfection. He could tell this. "You're so selfless Lucie and you don't even realise. It isn't fair on you; your father's going to be all right. I promise." I was grateful now for the calm he was sending at me, for once I didn't fight the sensation.

"Thanks." I mumbled quietly, he smiled reassuringly again. Alice and Carlisle re-entered the room again. She was ashen, and in instant Jasper was by her, intertwining his large alabaster fingers with her tiny ones. It didn't take a genius to realise she'd had another vision.

They were talking too fast for me to understand though. Carlisle shot me a sympathetic glance. Even if he couldn't feel my mood; I supposed it wasn't exactly hard to guess. I wanted to tell him how grateful I was for this. How much I cared for them all.

"Carlisle…" He didn't wait for me to say anything else, evidently guessing from the look on my face. He walked swiftly towards the door.

"We'll find him Lucie."

I just nodded, resuming my original position on the sofa quietly. I heard the sound of heavy rain outside as the door closed and smiled slightly. At least someone knew how to use doors in their family. The rest would have to learn from Carlisle, it was alarming that as far as it seemed it took over 300 years for vampires to learn the function of doors.

"Lucie..." Alice was beside me, I was surprised at that; I hadn't seen her. It only added to the confusion. Her voice was high and soft, but I could still hear the worry interlaced in her pealing tone. "We're going to stay here tonight, okay? You-"

"No," I croaked, "We have to find him…"

"We will." She promised, I looked into her eyes, as if trying to catch dishonesty there. None presented itself. A yawn surpassed me. I didn't want to sleep, but it was obvious that I was tired. "You can sleep now," She said quietly. Unaware that my night would be plagued with nightmares. She was wrong. I _couldn't _sleep. Not now.

"Do you want me to…" Jasper trailed off. I knew what he was implying.

"No, it's okay." I said quietly, Jasper would have sent me to sleep; I had to stay away from him because of that. He frowned; I didn't want to know how many of my emotions he understood. It was probably too many.

I turned away from their anxious gazes without another word, carefully climbing up the stairs to my room.

Where I knew, nothing would await me.

***

There was little light in my room, the very last fading from the day, the sky outside was indigo, the setting sun cast a faint ray of light through my curtains. It cast long ominous shadows. My breathing was erratic and shallow, I couldn't seem to slow it. The darkness continued to close in around me, I was trapped in the suffocating shadows.

The rain was a consistent thrumming against my windows. The sound made me restless. I stood up from my bed for the umpteenth time. Pacing slightly, concentrating on the dim mantra of water hitting glass, anything not to fall asleep. Anything not to think of him. I just wanted to _forget_.

My mind wandered back to earlier. Edward's face as he talked to Alice, his anger as he asked if I'd had more dreams… and the look in his eyes when I'd been in his arms-

"_No_." I whispered into the silence. I hadn't meant to say it out loud. The word was choked.

I stared at the floor, ridding myself of thoughts of my him. But when my eyes saw the surface beneath me, I instantly regretted my action. Because the fear hit me again. A fear tainted with culpability and anxiety. It wasn't Edward's face in my mind anymore; it was my father's. There, along one oak floorboard beneath me, was a crack. A crack running diagonally through the wood. Images flashed before my eyes, each terrifying, and slowly leading up to one face. Hair tangled around the wicked smile. Partially obscuring the blood red eyes. The bestial grin and pearl white teeth.

_Victoria_.

Was it she, who had taken him? Had she been using Bella as a distraction? Or was it someone else completely? I sank to the floor, shaking. Hating that I couldn't work it out. That I was so stupid. It could have been Victoria, she had directly threatened my father, as means to get to me, and punish Edward for killing James. It was a twisted chaos in which my father - utterly innocent - had been sucked into. But it could have been anyone. The Volturi, Aro, Caius, Marcus, Alec, Jane, Demetri…

I could taste the acidic burn in my mouth again at the thought of the last name. Because I had solid evidence to suggest that it had been _him_, who had taken my father. Both he and Victoria had located my weakness. Tears of fury welled up from behind my eyes, but I didn't let them fall.

How many more people would have to get hurt?

My father was just one of my weaknesses. But it wasn't just him who I cared about. Alice's face flashed before my eyes, followed by Jasper's, Esme's and Carlisle's, Emmett's… even Rosalie's. They were my family now. I loved them all, and it would kill me if they got hurt. If any one else suffered I wouldn't be able to stay together.

It was all because of _me_.

And finally, _his _face loomed before my eyes. And I couldn't help it. The tears I had held back for so long fell thick and fast and I couldn't bring myself to stop.

They fell to the oak floor, in sync with the pounding rain.

And suddenly, I realised I wasn't alone in the room.

A noise from the window had me look up, tears were still falling swiftly down my cheeks, but I could sill seem him with perfect clarity. His eyes were staring at me, and they were beseeching. His bronze hair was ruffled by the wind, flecked with diamonds of water from the hammering rain outside. That sound was deaf to me; time seemed to stop momentarily, as if caught. He assessed me in less than a second, appearing instantly by my side. For once, I didn't look away.

It was only after the event did I realise that I'd not stopped trembling. My entire frame was shaking from unreleased sobs of anguish. I tried to stop that, but still tried to look away. I was stuck in a paradox, between two worlds that were impossible. I didn't want to think of the events prior to this moment, and yet I knew I _shouldn't _focus on him. I would become trapped by his gaze.

He lifted my chin with one elegant finger, reforming the eye contact I'd tried to prevent.

And in that instant; I knew I was already lost.

He wrapped one arm around me, at first I thought it was to prevent the shakes I kept emitting. But his touch wasn't like before. The arms around me were no longer preventing me from falling.

They were pulling me closer.

"What are you doing?" My voice was breathless, my quickening pulse erasing all hope of any cool façade I could have summoned to mask my emotions.

My thoughts weren't much better off; they were incoherent.

He stared at me - his golden eyes blazing and boring into mine - the ray of sunlight against the turbulent indigo of the night sky, devoid of stars.

Gently, slowly, he raised one perfectly sculpted hand to cup my numb cheek, softly caressing the rapidly blushing skin there as if it was satin. His gaze never left mine and my breathing hitched involuntarily at the icy cold touch that radiated an impossible heat for me. The numb had sensation had been eradicated. My skin was ablaze in an electrical flame.

The temperature matched the colour of his eyes, smouldering with an inexplicable ardency I'd never seen before. The most brilliant shade of gold.

His lips mouthed quiet words, they reached me; a muted velvet. Quiet in comparison to the rate of the frenzied blood pounding in my ears.

"I'm making you forget."

And then, he kissed me.

***

***gaspgaspGASP!* **

**Okay, so approximately how many of you people hate me right now? **

**I'm sorry if this is showing similarities to the last time this sort of… **_**situation **_**occurred. But I felt like being evil. Again. I felt like being an evil person to leave all who read in suspense as a pathetic attempt to make people review. Now I've told you my grand plan you're not going to review, are you? *grumbles* Anyway. So yup, I left in on a cliffy. I feel EVIL ;)**

**Bella. Gah. Now, don't assume too much yet. Next chapter I think I'll include an Edward POV so you can all see **_**where **_**Bella was. And **_**what **_**happened between them… and what Alice's vision was all about. (More and more suspense!)**

**There is one question you should all be asking right now: will the nun side of me return? **

**Yes, that **_**is **_**the question :p**

**Now, lets say (hypothetically of course) the nun side of me… vanished. What would all your reactions be? Yay, or nay? (I'm seriously wondering if anyone is understanding this babble today. It's coming out very cryptic…) If I'm to be perfectly honest, I already havethe next 2,000 or so words to this written up. (Because, so far, I think I'm going to stick to my guns. But I really need some stimulating reviews to help. Please?) So yeah, what do you think's gonna happen? Tell me in a review to save me from the mountain load of work. I asked that question to **_**fanpiremari **_**(an amazing reviewer) and her reaction was rather funny. If I recall it was something along the lines of: **_YES!!! YESSS!!! YESSSSS!!! _**(Yup. I chortled at that.)**

**Is it considered sad if I laugh whenever I write words like chortle? BACKTOTHEPOINT…**

**Though I think there's going to be lots of scary whataboutBELLA?! Reviews. That is perfectly **_**fine **_**people if you think that. Please don't be afraid to voice your views. It'll make the story more enjoyable for you anyhow, I always write based on people's comments. (bwhaha, I just wrote: WhataboutNELLA… And I'm chuckling because of it. It reminds me of nelephants.)**

***smacks head* Yeah. If Lucie starts to ramble on about elephants… well, that's me slipping through a bit there. You have no idea how much self control it takes **_**not **_**to write nelephants.…**

**To all who highlighted the issue of those freaking LOUD birds in my walls, thanks for the condolences. They are **_**still **_**there, an to be perfectly honest I think they're **_**breeding**_**… I swear there is a much larger number of chirps emitting from the walls. It's infuriating. Mouse has been perched on the edge of my desk staring at the wall. Yes. She just stares at it, and looks rather obsessed. Last night there was a particularly loud chirp and Mouse jumped at the wall, taking a poster down with her. **

**I gave her a severe (well okay, I suppose it wasn't very **_**severe **_**so to speak. But I did threaten **_**not **_**to give her cat food. That's pretty harsh threat to someone as greedy as the oh-so-very-gluttonous-Mouse) telling off - thankfully - this time there was no one to witness. I do not need any more members of my family thinking I'm a person who gives lectures to cats. *cough***

**Lily - chirpchirpchirptweetchirpchirpCHIRP! (Urrgghhh! She. Is. Going. To. Go. Crazy.) Oh, and she's love a review or two… to erm, save her from imitating the chirps herself and therefore **_**becoming **_**an annoying unknown species of chirpy bird (chirpy birds remember, cannot update, unless they used their little chirpy beaks to type… but they're too busy chirping for that.) :P**


	33. The Inexplicable Infatuation

**HEYYYS!**

**I'm flabbergasted. Totally and utterly flabbergasted by the amount of reviews. 816? How the hell did this happen huh? I set way too high hopes last chapter at possibly reaching 800, and then BOOM suddenly there's flipping 816 reviews?! You reviewers out there are freaking awesome! :) Hehe. Yeah, Lucie DOES need an award for the-most-times-the-main-character-passes-out. Many, many people suspected that Alice's vision was of Bella and Jake in (to use - what I think was a very apt - phrase, that was in a review) … an **_**awkward **_**situation. Do you really think I'm **_**that **_**predicable? Hmmm? HMM?! (*sniff* I feel offended…) Well, in regards to that, this chapter may be a bit of a shock. :p**

**Ach. Reviews! ;) seriously! I feel like an idiot. I can't stop smiling… :) And, I've had a mention in **_SouthernBelle09's _**awesomely creepy fic, which made me smile even more. However, I do have some other news. If anyone sent me a PM that wasn't answered, or didn't get a review reply, well, lo behold, _I have a reason! *_snickers.* _LO BEHOLD!_**

***cue the dirge.. Now!***

**Hedgehog is sick people. He has a virus! (Yes, I decided that my laptop was a male. I think it's the whole moody bit… and Edward's always switching in this from being moody to sweet, to just…. I'll stop talking about him.) But he's (and this is in reference to **_**Hedgehog**_**) not even moody now. He's poorly! The stupid virus has basically made typing up this chapter hell… because very few minutes hedgehog would decide to just spontaneously hibernate. I was sitting there going:**

"**WhatareyouDOING?!" and then a little message would pop up saying: 'you have put the laptop into hibernate mode.' To which I responded to by muttering furiously at it and stating that I had **_**not **_**put it into hibernate mode and that it was **_**lying**_**…LYING I tell you! (at this point I was unaware of the virus) and… yeah. *grunt* Luckily no family members witnessed my grumblings. They'd have been pretty shocked - well actually, they're probably used to it by now - if they'd interrupted me mid rant saying to my laptop: 'Hedgehog this is ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous! Work goddammit!' **

**;( I couldn't update because of that. Sorry… I' still upset. I don't like Hedgehog being sick. Fanfiction takes years to load up. And this is almost certainly **_**riddled **_**with errors. Anyway, when I did the Norton Anti Virus Scan… it located 19 tracking cookies. (Mhhmm my reaction was somewhere along the lines of: What? **_**Cookies**_**? Yes. Hedgehog has been eating COOKIES (**_**tracking **_**cookies… menacing huh?… See I've heard of Browser Cookies - though admittedly I still have no clue as to what they actually **_**are **_**- but **_**tracking **_**cookies?) and as a consequence, he is very sick. Me thinks there is a moral in this tale. A horrible moral that highlights the downsides of the almighty cookie :p**

**I have abolished the nasty tracking cookies. However several things continue to pop up on fanfiction claiming it to be teeming with malicious viruses. (I've decided to ignore these and post anywho) I think Hedgehog is officially losing the plot. Now, I'm going to shut up on the ranting bit. (Well, until the bottom of this chapter that is. I apologise in advance :s) This A/N is stupidly long.. Sorry sorry sorry!**

**Now, this chapter should be dedicated to numerous reviewers that made my day, but I'm scared if I don't post this quick enough Hedgehog's going to sort of implode with all these **_**alleged **_**viruses. So basically, if you reviewed THANK YOU! I don't deserve it, *smacks head: youarenotsupposedtotellthemthat!* but… *gushes* thanksomuchanyway! **

**One more thing before I let you read in peace. I hate exams. I have one coming up soon actually, a Biology one that accounts for my GCSE (why, why, _why _am I doing these stupid things a year early?!) but I would like to say, on the behalf of anyone who takes exams: that they. SUCK. And on that subject,** _Jade Lyssy Swan _**(who is, as I've probably stated in the past, but what the frog, I'll say it again :p) FANTABULOUS, and she has had FAR too many exams recently…_that are still going on! _I advise you all to go and read '**Rosa**' her awesome story and review it like crazy :P**

**Well, after you've read *cough and reviewed cough* this of course ;)**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter. Sorry sorry for stupidly rambly long A/Ns that I know waste your precious time. But hey, all the same, again, hope you like the chapter Hedgehog made it very difficult to write. Oh, and the whole couscous incident didn't exactly stimulate me with ideas for this chappy either Hmms? **_**Couscous**_**? (Oh… You'll find out about that, *well, if you can stand the A/N at the bottom* I assure you.)**

***shutting up… temporarily* **

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

He stared at me - his golden eyes blazing and boring into mine - the ray of sunlight against the turbulent indigo of the night sky, devoid of stars.

Gently, slowly, he raised one perfectly sculpted hand to cup my numb cheek, softly caressing the rapidly blushing skin there as if it was satin. His gaze never left mine and my breathing hitched involuntarily at the icy cold touch that radiated an impossible heat for me. The numb had sensation had been eradicated. My skin was ablaze in an electrical flame.

The temperature matched the colour of his eyes, smouldering with an inexplicable ardency I'd never seen before. The most brilliant shade of gold.

His lips mouthed quiet words, they reached me; a muted velvet. Quiet in comparison to the rate of the frenzied blood pounding in my ears.

"I'm making you forget."

And then, he kissed me.

***

**The Inexplicable Infatuation.**

**Edward's POV: (umm… just after Edward went all crazy and ran out of the Cullens' house :p)**

Rage was one emotion I'd grown quite accustomed to recently.

The aftermath of Alice's vision was still burning me as I ran, swiftly, not caring for objects as I ran towards her. I had to reach her at all costs; the yearning had been eating away constantly today; worse than yesterday. I had to see her. This thought had me running faster; sheer determination powered my athletic strides, only one part of me screaming to stop.

It shouldn't have been this difficult to run to Bella.

That was one fact I was certain of, the yearning to see her was still as prominent as ever, it had been so since she' first been pulled out my sight. Normally, this sort of situation would lead to great levels of angst on my part. I didn't fare well without Bella in the past.

_Normally. _The thought was like a slap. True - normally that was the case. Normally, the instant I was parted for Bella I would suffer. Normally.

But not now. Now part of me _regretted _my rash decision to leave. My impulsive actions that I could normally rely on now seemed rash. _Her _face burned behind my eyelids, momentarily obscuring my hectic thoughts. My pace came to a halt when my thoughts reached her. A girl devoid of brunette hair and brown eyes was now in my thoughts. Instead, a girl looking at me with wide incredulous, _hazel-green _eyes, scared by the events crashing around her. By the turmoil that seemed to follow where ever she tread.

_Lucie_.

It was utterly absurd. A paradox that I was constantly stuck in. Questions presented themselves the instant I thought of her, and I couldn't answer _any _of them. Irritation swelled inside me. Why was her face in my mind? Why did I feel _guilt _as I had shouted at her? _Why was she having this effect on me?_

The last question was the one I truly wanted the answer to. I couldn't comprehend my emotions when I was around her. I couldn't trust them anymore. Jasper's thoughts rang in my ears. _You're living in denial. _I felt a growl surpass me, the anger surging powerfully again. I regained my previous speed with more urgency than before now, the terrain beneath was constantly switching from concrete to earth, grass to rock. I was moving too fast to distinguish them now. Anger was a power that fuelled me in this respect.

_He _didn't know. Jasper couldn't just tell me how I felt. No one could. Alice was the next person that came to mind; her words had more effect than Jasper's. I'd come to trust Alice's instincts more than I was willing to admit because of her gift revolving around the future.

Still, despite the fact that her words affected me. It wasn't in a good way. Merely a rueful exception of the truth. _You're in too deep. _On that account I couldn't argue, the human girl was already too involved us. Just like Bella had been, just like she still was.

_Alice_. Her name brought up other issues, burning ones that had to be resolved. _Bella's face, white and terrified washed over me again. Standing awkwardly and unstable as the man approached her, to afraid to scream… _Alice's vision burned in my mind as I ran, uncaring for the little traffic as I shot over roads - I was too fast for weak human eyes to see. A blur easily mistaken for a trick of the light. The sky above was steadily getting dark, it was just past six, and yet now the grey sky was significantly more shadowy clouds hanging low in the air like an omen of sorts.

I kept doing that, in my mind, concentrating on trivial things like the sky's colour. I _had _to. I couldn't bear to see Alice's vision again. Rage surged through me; unpredictable and precarious. I grit my teeth, disgusted at what my power could cause. What _harm _it could create.

I could hear the man's thoughts, a tainted cesspool that was focused on Bella. And then I saw her - through his mind - the wide chocolate eyes fringed with thick lashes set in the pale heart shaped face. It wasn't how I'd seen it last though. It was torn in fear, white as a sheet as the man drew closer.

_Such a pretty girl, and she's alone… _I grit my teeth in fury at his words as a growl escaped my lips, running faster than ever, searching for their location in his mind. It was too similar to that night in Port Angeles; the same fury gripped me to place retribution for the man as a first priority.

I broke into the deserted street, and sure enough there Bella was, cowering against a wall, not yet on the floor. Determined to fight. It was just like the time a year ago. The man hadn't noticed me, he sauntered foreward to Bella and crudely kissed her wrist.

***

After that, everything had been put on fast-forward.

In less than a second I had grabbed him, thrown him off Bella. His thoughts became confused suddenly. He was drunk, but it did nothing to excuse his behaviour, his past revealed that much. I was filled with rage and I could barely speak for fear that I would kill him.

"What does it matter," He sneered, breaking my concentration. Giving up on the blasé charade. It was evident what his intention had been, without my ability to see inside his twisted mind. It revealed the rotten core of a person he really was. He planned on getting even more drunk after this as a result of his unaccomplished mission. I couldn't block out his thoughts.

_Maybe the kid will lay off. I could pay him. Nah, not much point anyway. The idiot's only in his teens and he doesn't look like a relative. He can't have her; I like this one. A pretty one this time, the last two were uglier than her, and this one seems more feisty. Though she's too small to do much. Control will be easy, though it's always nice to have a little challenge. Oh, she looks so afraid… perfect._

I wanted to kill him. I wanted to tear this man to shreds for his thoughts. His sick, vile, _putrid _thoughts. I couldn't speak for anger and rage; the guy took it as a chance to speak to me, unaware of how plain his intentions were to me. And how easily I could kill him. Venom pooled in my mouth at the thought of swiftly ending his existence. How he lived wasn't able to have the description of 'a life', it was something darker and tainted. Psychotic. He lived off other's fear, it was what he wanted. What he'd intended to receive from Bella.

"Lay off mate," He said gruffly, I was still using all of my efforts not to kill him; I didn't want to upset the girl feet away. She was too scared already. The Neanderthal before me didn't take a hint. He evidently hadn't worked out that I was an all strong immortal who could kill him within a second's thought. "She's _mine_. You don't want to mess with me and the guys up town; we'll take care of girly here for you. Run along now,"

"Move." It was all I could say through clenched teeth, ever aware of Bella's wide eyes, frozen in horror. My restraint was waning. Fast.

"She's nothing, just a-" I think it must have been my expression that cut him off. It was times like this that I was surprised people didn't guess what we were. My lips drew back as I tried to hold in the growl. His expression turned to shock, my fist came down hard on his face, I broke his nose and jaw with my lightest touch. But he was just lucky. Because if he'd continued talking like that about Bella I was sure that my fist would have done more than just impaired his speech.

I looked down into his cold eyes, glaring at him. Blood was trickling down the side of his face. But I didn't feel the urge to taste it. The guy did drugs, I could tell. His blood was tainted. I could see the blackness of them mirrored in his vacant grey. I spoke to him in little more than a whisper; my voice was venomous.

"She is _everything_."

***

I knew I couldn't withhold my restraint much longer, I would kill the man before me soon, his blood continued to ooze down his face as he staggered to his feet. I had two choices, and right now, the one revolving around the tainted blood was more dominant. A snarl escaped my lips in frustration. It was her gasp - a tiny intake of breath - that brought me back to my senses.

I looked back to Bella, and she stared at me with wide incredulous brown eyes. Shock was evident in them. I didn't have to decide after that, I ran to her, and swept her into my arms, she didn't protest as we ran, despite the fact that I knew the sensation made her nauseous. Her heartbeat was frenzied; I didn't breathe once. Her blood was too close, and I was far too livid right now.

"What happened?" I demanded, as I slowed to a stop. I was unwilling to let her go, though I knew I ought to. It wasn't safe when fury was still the ever present emotion. The man's thoughts were still etched in my mind. I was too powerful, too strong with the burst of adrenaline that had arisen when I'd first seen Alice's vision.

I was a danger to the human still cradled in my arms.

She stuttered for a minute, unwilling to meet my gaze.

"Bella," I growled my mind working fast as I tried to make sense of the hectic situation. "You're not staying with _them _anymore." Loathing was laced in my words at the thought of werewolves. Emily's - the Alfa's, _Sam's _mate - ruined face presented itself in my mind. I'd heard the sincerity and love Sam had for her in his thoughts, but I still couldn't dispel my horror if that ever happened to Bella. I had been wrong about it being safer for her. "You're not safe with them. Werewolves lose control too easily." I said after a pause. She raised an eyebrow at me.

"And this," She said lightly, twisting round to face me better, "is coming from a vampire." My anger melted away at her expression. The girl had too much power over me. She stared at me for a bit and pouted. "You know, there was really no need for the whole saving me thing…" She mumbled.

"And what," I asked quietly, "would have happened if I wasn't there, Bella?"

"Simple, I would have fought him, rammed the heel of my hand into his nose, kicked him in the groin…" She trailed off, blushing furiously at my expression of incredulity "Well okay… Okay I might have started screaming…" I could barely make out her words now, they were that muffled from embarrassment. "Well, okay… I don't know what I'd have done. Thank you." She sighed, finally giving in. "Thanks for saving my life… over and over again." She smiled sheepishly.

"You're a magnet for trouble Bella," I growled, remembering the urgency of the situation we were still stuck in, "how did this happen? Do you attract danger everywhere?" My anger died slightly because I almost felt like laughing at the question, of course the answer was yes. Bella was definitely a magnet for trouble, that had been evident since I'd first met her. Bella's expression however promptly turned into a scowl.

"Magnet? What are you talking about?! I don't _attract _danger!" Ah, the fiery kitten was back, she stared at me, incredulity prominent in her chocolate brown eyes. It was so amusing, I felt the corners of my lips twitch involuntarily, I decided to humour her.

"I don't know…" I sighed quietly, "You have this, _aura_." It was hard for me to hide the smile now. She elbowed me hard in the side at that comment; it didn't have the desired effect on me, a chuckle slipped through my lips only increasing as Bella scowled.

"You'll probably get a bruise for that," I commented lightly. She ignored me. Stubborn as ever.

"An _aura_? Oh great, because I was worried you were going to be vague about this." Bella muttered sarcastically. I frowned at her disapproving of her sarcasm, but her pouting didn't cease, it remained, her entire expression petulant. I almost felt like sighing.

Here was the beautiful stubborn and fragile human girl I had fallen in love with.

I held her gaze for a long moment, and the sarcasm left her expression instantly; Bella was never very good at that. She could never hold a judge. Her wide eyes were still chocolate pools that I couldn't decipher or understand. Yet I could see an emotion beneath them, and t was killing me that I couldn't work out what it was. Even now, _that _was the most infuriating thing.

"Edward…" Bella cautioned. "I'm sorry, look-"

I stopped her, pulling her softly to my chest; she didn't object.

"You're safe," I whispered into her auburn brown hair, "that's all that matters."

I didn't listen to anymore of her mutterings, I swept her into my arms again, the feel of her soft skin under my touch had part of me scream in twisted joy. Her blood was a scent too pungent, too potent. It was hard to keep control. And yet I knew I _wouldn't _lose control ever around her, but even the thought had a darker part of my cry in elation.

I stared at her with so much fervency, so much intensity, that she blushed. The inviting red staining her pale cheeks. The monster inside me groaned. I focused hard on her other smell. Fresh freesias mixed with the strawberry shampoo she used on her soft hair. I looked down into her eyes again, willing God to grant access to her thoughts for even the mere fraction of a second. It didn't happen. I sighed in frustration but still looked down to her; her dark eyes were wide as she looked at me.

Gently, she wriggled out of my arms, standing precariously on the damp terrain. The sky behind her was a mixture of colours; the sun had disappeared from behind the dense clouds. And she was just standing there, feet before me. Her brunette hair whipping around her porcelain face in the breeze. And I wanted her back in my arms.

"Time with you Edward," Bella whispered quietly, musing to herself as she took in the trees around us. "It's _surreal_. And stunning. Like a dream; a beautiful dream, one that I don't want to end. And then when you left…" My heart constricted, her voice became quieter, but the fervency increased, "the dream died, it was dark and black and my world shattered."

My thoughts were slow as I processed her words. Words that scared me. They were too intense, too insightful. A _dream_? Was that how she described time with me? It was the opposite of what time with her was like; it brought everything back into focus, with sharp clarity. A clarity that before had only been shrouded in darkness.

I was terrified by the sincerity in her eyes; I stepped towards her, closing the short distance between us in an instant. I cradled her face, warm and soft underneath my granite touch.

"Then keep dreaming." I whispered, my lips at her ear.

She shuddered beneath me. But slowly pulled away. For once she held my gaze - a polar response to before when her aversion had been paramount - as if unwilling ever to leave it. In that moment, there was nothing that could part us. I knew that much. But it seemed fragile, like it was something that wouldn't last.

"But what happens when I wake up?" She whispered, her quiet tone tinged with silent desperation. I couldn't answer. "What happens when my dream ends Edward? I can't break again… I just _can't_." Hot tears were streaming down her porcelain cheeks and I stared at her in horror. This was officially my weakness. A girl crying was one thing where I was clueless as to help - having not shed a tear my self in over a century. Bitterness filled me at that thought.

Monsters couldn't cry.

"I will never leave you again Bella." I whispered fervently.

"That's not what I'm afraid of." She said this so quietly, I was unsure if she'd meant for me to hear it.

"Then what-"

She sighed, looking up at me again, her beautiful chocolate brown eyes portraying an emotion that I mirrored right back at her. I still couldn't decipher them though, despite the fact that they allowed me insight into her mind, they couldn't answer my raging torrent of questions that I had for her.

"I love you Edward," She whispered quietly, fiercely, the words seemed to tumble from her lips as if without her intention. A rueful look passed over her face. "That's what I'm afraid of…"Her breathing hitched quietly, and I no longer knew if it was in fear or because of me. I didn't know what to think anymore. I became a statue as she continued to speak. "I love you Edward. I can't just stop loving you. And I'm scared of that; I'm scared I won't be able to stop."

"_Why_?" I breathed, she was looking away from me again, "Why would you ever need to stop?"

"Because I-I don't want it to happen again," Her voice was lower now, more urgent. "Edward, there's something I haven't told you. And I hate myself, but I couldn't. I tried… and each time I chickened out. I was afraid I'd lose you-" I cut her off, needing to hear an answer.

"Are you still afraid you'll lose me?" My voice was the quietest it had ever been. I was trying to comprehend her words. Did this mean that now she was ready to let me go? Did she now want that human life? Had she finally realised the sort of person I was?

"Yes," She breathed, "I'm terrified of that," I nodded slowly; she bit her lip hard, a trait she had for nerves and anxiety. I wanted her to stop it. It wasn't lust that ruled my emotions when she did that, it was something darker. The soft skin over her lip would not remain in tact if she continued to bit on it. I didn't know how I would react if she shed blood.

I just knew the consequences were too high.

"Listen Edward… I-I'm sorry…I can't lie anymore, I hate it. Jacob-"

I cut her off, predicting her words.

"I already know."

There was a stunned silence.

"You, you… _what_?" Bella's voice was broken, scared and quiet. I didn't look away from her face, now drained of the previous blush. It was as white as a sheet. She seemed to see something in my expression, what I don't know. But she took in a small breath, letting her eyes flutter shut for a moment while she thought. Eventually she looked up at me again. "How long?" She mouthed.

"I've known since I went to look for you. I met Sam at the border. His thoughts were connected to Jacob's." My voice lacked emotion. The sentences were short and punctual. They masked how I felt. Hollow and empty.

And pain surfaced into her brown eyes. Heart wrenching goddamn _pain_. She was looking at me, her expression torn in regret and apology. And the truth of how she now felt hit me hard somewhere in my gut. I couldn't stand to see her like that. Ever.

I was about to sweep her in my arms again, stop her pain. But she looked at me, saying one name that stopped everything.

"Lucie."

"What about her?" I prevented any thoughts of her to plague my mind. I couldn't afford that now. My words sounded false even to my ears, detached and forced.

"You… she's in danger." Her voice was a muted tense tone that I hadn't heard her put on before. I shook my head at her words, she was fine. Safer than most with my family beside her. Bella was staring, her eyes trained, on a point at my feet. "Edward , you should go. Jacob can keep me… safe."

"So can I." My teeth were clenched. I took a step towards her. She didn't back away like part of me had expected, instead she raised her face to mine. Not saying anything, just looking at me. It was all we needed. And I wished the moment could freeze. Because here, now, I didn't want to think of anything but her. And I could tell she thought the same, that was apparent just by her eyes.

Still, part of me knew I was becoming belligerent, I couldn't help it. I felt the moment slip between my fingers as she looked down again. And again, I felt the unnecessary emotion cascade through me. The mention of the dog brought up a new kind of anger in me, one I was determined not to enforce on Bella. I didn't think it had a direct purpose; anger never did. It was just something people were fuelled on. A power.

And yet I knew this kind was to mask to the pain. Because I couldn't just deny that it wasn't hurtful. If course Bella loved him. He was _human_. Admittedly, he exploded into a wolf frequently, but he still had a heartbeat, he was still living. He could provide Bella with something I never could.

He wasn't a monster like I was.

"Werewolves are dangerous Bella - they lose control." Was that my only excuse to keep her away from him? I knew my others only led to one thing. _Selfishness_. Still, the way I spoke to her was the opposite of how I normally would around Bella. Harsh and blunt. I couldn't quite dispel my abhorrence towards them. Bella noticed, a frown line adorning her forehead.

"So are vampires." She pointed out again quietly, but her voice lacked the humour she'd used with the same words previously. "You must understand how she feels Edward." Her voice was darker now. "She's in more danger than you know."

"She safe," I contradicted, "And no. I don't understand her Bella. And why should I need to? I can't read her mind; she must have the same block as you do,"

"She's not safe, and I think you know it," Bella's voice was low, anxious, as if she suspected we had little time to talk. The thought worried me, "I had a dream Edward, and Lucie was there, Jane was torturing her."

"That - that's not possible." But it was possible. How come I was able to witness her dreams? Bella's mind was utterly impenetrable, a shield. Lucie's was not. Hers faltered when she became unconscious. Her shield would cease. A word sprung to mind, I'd never thought of placing it to her before.

Lucie was _vulnerable_.

The thoughts of her that I'd tried to hold back where suddenly hitting me again and again. Her face burned in my mind. A brilliant light that I couldn't dispel. I grit my teeth, disgusted at myself, confused as to why I couldn't stop thinking about her. I wished Bella hadn't brought her up. Bella. I looked down at her again; she was watching my expression with wary, rueful eyes. I set my jaw in frustration as a pair of bright green lights appeared in my head. My mouth became a thin line.

"You should -"

"No Bella, I shouldn't do anything. She lied to me." My voice was cold, hard. Dead. But it was the truth. She had lied to me. Keeping up a pretence that she was okay. She hadn't told me bout her dreams. And now she was danger, and I knew it. Alec had been in the last I'd witnessed, I didn't want to think of who else had hauntd her sleep. The tiredness, the fainting, the marred circles under her eyes. Suddenly it all made sense.

Bella's voice broke me out of my thoughts, a quite murmur in comparison to her raised voice before.

"So did I." She pointed out quietly; I raised my ice hand to her cheek. She didn't flinch away from it. But I could see the urge to in her eyes. A small shiver broke out from the contact. I couldn't help the wrenching sensation in my chest. How much had changed? Did my cold touch now disgust her like I'd always presumed? I held her gaze, stared into her chocolate brown eyes, as always, unable to hear anything except Bella's shallow breathing. The questions continued to buzz in my mind. None of them were ever answered.

_What had changed for my touch to now make her cold? _

"I forgive you." I whispered. Pain swept through her expression, she looked away, and the sound she made was choked.

"_Don't_." She tried to pull from my grasp slightly, "I don't deserve that Edward. Not with all that I've done."

"It doesn't change anything." I growled.

"Forgive her." Bella pleaded silently, "Don't you see why she did that? Why she kept those dreams from you? She was trying to protect you Edward. She's been trying to protect _everyone_. She never once told you about Jacob, and yet she _knew_. She knew from the start."

I was stunned into silence. I had frozen, unable to process her impossible words; Bella continued with some unfathomable fervency that I'd never heard in her tone before. "The Volturi are after her Edward, for reasons that surpass me, but they want her. It's not me like you've all been thinking. No one wants me. I'm not the centre point of all this. Victoria has some sadistic grudge against me but that's it. They want _her_. And she knows it. She hides everything that leads to that, I've been experiencing dreams like hers, I know how it feels."

"You need to-"

"No." I cut her off. My mood brooding. "She's nothing." I lied. I was about to say more when her expression turned sceptical. But suddenly a scent was in the air around us. I stared at Bella for the matter of a second before pulling her into my arms again, shielding her from the oncoming attack. I could hear them even from hear. Their loud howls ripped through the tress, Bella's expression was frantic. Torn.

_Wolves_.

I stared in disbelief as they came running. Both of them had phased into their human form, I recognised them instantly: Paul and latter. I averted my eyes from the latter. Rivalry was not something I wanted to deal with right now. Instead, anger rippled through me. _Paul_? I had seen through Sam's mind how easily he lost control. The thought of him any where _near _Bella made my stomach churn. I glared daggers at them, my entire body tensing. An automatic response to their scent. It was part of me to dislike them, I was trained to kill such animals; it was ingrained in my system. We were enemies. And I didn't think that would ever change.

Jacob's thoughts hit me suddenly; I tightened my hold on Bella. She looked as shocked as I felt, her eyes widening as she took in both their faces - despite the fact that they were familiar to her.

_What? Bella? She's with _him_? The leech, why the hell is she even there? Did she go to him? Well, at least she looks uncomfortable like that. Prefers it in my arms. _I couldn't hep the growl that slipped through my now gritted teeth. Jacob's dark brown eyes widened, he appeared to have momentarily forgotten that I could read his mind. His thoughts suddenly became stiffer, more formal. It was lucky Bella was n longer the centre point of him, else the dog would have been in risk of losing a limb. _You're over the line Cullen. You can't come here. You've broken the treaty-_

"This is neutral ground." I spat at him, I felt Bella beneath me cringe, her reaction made me feel bitter. Jacob noticed too, his thoughts suddenly became elated.

"Yeah well you were over it before." Jacob smirked. I was glad he was speaking now, seeing into his mind was no more pleasant than the man's before. His mind was now shouting images of him and Bella together. I tried to make sure I didn't hold her tighter. She could shatter beneath my grip.

"Do you," My voice shook in anger, "even _realise _dog? Do you know what would have _happened _to Bella if I hadn't been here? Did you even realise she was _gone_?" The fury was back, it was laced heavily in my words.

Genuine concern flashed across his expression and thoughts. _Bella? Is she okay? _His gaze was suddenly fixated on her. "What happened?" He said in a low voice. The tone now 180 degrees different from previously. No longer was he an obnoxious dog I wanted to rip apart. I could hear the sincerity laced in his words and saturated in his thoughts. There was no denying that he loved her.

And that realisation was more painful than I'd ever expected.

I carried on talking, hoping they wouldn't detect the other edge to my voice, the one that wasn't purely anger.

"Did she just slip from sight then? Is that how this happened? Were you too careless?" My sarcastic remarks set something off in the young wolf, Paul, he began to tremble slightly. Jacob cursed under his breath, muttering something that sounded distinctly blasphemous. I was about to continue, prove my point that Bella should remain with _me_.

But before I could begin to say anything more; Bella spoke.

Her voice was quiet, timid. She gestured for me to place her on the floor. I did as she commanded; steadying her in case she fell. She righted herself, her brown hair ruffled by the breeze, wafting the terrible scent again. I stopped breathing as she exhaled.

"_I _ran away."

Hurt filled Jacob's expression, and as if Bella had predicted it, she whipped her head round to face him. I glared in fury; he was doing this on purpose. He knew how to manipulate Bella, how to make her feel guilt. He was playing with her emotions more than I'd expected. Using his hurt as a way to gain her trust.

Bella continued, speaking fervently. Her words shook slightly, enunciating how distraught she was, "I-I had to Jake, she's after me and I had to stop her hurting any of you…" She moved towards him, the heel of her boot catching on a rock. Two pairs of arms caught her.

My own marble ones. And Jacob's russet.

_Ice and fire._

***

Things weren't going well for me today.

An emotion close to madness was flowing inside me. I knew I was too edgy. Too unpredictable with my erratic thoughts. The venom in my mouth could have ended this. And I loathed my self for even considering it. Violence was not something I revelled in.

And I didn't even want to hear anymore. I took one last look at Bella, now suspended in _his _arms instead of mine. I was no longer one to talk about control. I was about to snap, I could feel it. It was all I could do within my power to refrain from running at him, from taking _my _Bella away.

Livid. that was what I was now. Livid, I could here his thoughts, threats he was shoving at me, knowing he had the upper hand with Paul beside him. Paul didn't matter - I could kill him in an instant, they were both young werewolves, only strength was on their side. I mentally planned my attack, wondering at what point they would realise my plans and how to take her.

_Her_.

My eyes flickered back to her face, and I felt my plans vanish. She was staring at me, gripping to Jacob for support. And her eyes, her God damn beautiful brown eyes portrayed only one thing as she saw me, teeth clenched, hands balled to fists at my side.

Bella was looking at me, in _fear_.

She composed her expression instantly at whatever look my face had now adopted, but the damage had done. Paul's boisterous thoughts broke my concentration for a moment. _Bloodsucker's scared her now. I don't get why they keep doing this. Sam's bad enough with Emily, and now I have to deal with this too? I officially am _never _imprinting! _I couldn't laugh at Paul's thoughts; he'd probably momentarily forgotten my power. I stared at Bella, unable to think. She feared me. She'd never done that before but now she was afraid. I took one last look at her.

And I couldn't even read her expression.

As I ran through the forest, with the pain eating away at me, it suddenly clicked as to what Bella's expression had been. Lost. Undecided, unable to answer. We had both reached a mutual demise. One in which neither of us knew which was best.

Water was falling heavily now, the storm had struck. It continued to drench me as I ran; it clung to my skin, promoting how dead I felt. The question became a mantra as my feet hit the earth; it consumed me, matching the same frenzied pace as the tempo of Bella's heart. A heart that before, I was sure remained only mine.

Who would she chose?

Dream, or reality?

***

An ionic bond. The force of attraction between the opposite charges of an ion. One element in an ionic bond loses electrons, and another element must gain the electrons. Simple, proven fact. Science was like that. It didn't leave loopholes in which everything was uncertain. People didn't question the properties of ions when they'd been proven by Science. Because there was no need. You were satisfied. You understood. It was fact.

And yet here I was: craving; dissatisfied; completely confused; and unable to detect a lie.

And it was that same sensation from earlier, that exact same twist formed in my stomach, just like when Bella had spoken of her. I knew why she'd done it; I just hadn't let myself believe it. But now, staring at her shuddering quietly, falling apart at the seams, the truth was as clear as crystal.

Lucie was so much more than I'd realised.

I hadn't known why I'd run here. It made no sense. _Nothing was making any damn sense!_

And yet she was just there, shaking. Lying on the wooden floor in a fetal position, with her little knees tucked up to her forehead, her fair hair falling down the arch of her back, obscuring her face. And I simply didn't care anymore. It didn't matter that nothing made sense.

Because I was through the window in a heartbeat.

And she looked up. Her eyes raking over me in desperation, shock etched in her expression. Her hair strewn across her face, bright eyes swimming with tears. The rain was hammering outside and suddenly so was her heartbeat. The sight of me had it speed up frantically, an erratic tempo, staccato and fluttering. And she was _still _trembling. Convulsing in despair and anguish. _And it was killing me. _

Jasper and Alice's thoughts buzzed in my head, but I couldn't focus on them, I heard them leave. It made everything worse though. Because now it just me and her. And right now, I was unpredictable, erratic, there was no knowing what I'd do next. How much danger Lucie could be in _because _of me.

Her blood was still potent. Not like Bella's. Bella's blood was the most potent I had ever come across. My La Tua Cantante. I was drawn to her by that, intoxicated by her, my exact brand of heroin. _That _had always been part of her allure. And yet with Lucie, it was different - though the monster was still present. Terrifyingly so. I could smell the same scent that made my throat burn. The same scent that drove others mad with thirst and bloodlust. Emotions fought with sanity. Blood fought with rationality.

To keep her safe, I should have left there and then.

But I couldn't help it, I found myself moving to her, rationality depleting. It was an involuntary process. An ionic bond. I was a charged ion, and so was she. She was there, quietly sobbing, unwilling for anyone else to suffer.

She was losing something, her choked quiet sobs made her weaker and yet at the same time I _was _gaining something. Her _trust_. Her hazel eyes - eyes that had been burning in my mind - looked at me, with that same inexplicable expression of faith. Staying away wasn't working. Attraction overruled sense.

Her eyes were impossibly wide as she spoke, her voice breathless.

"What are you doing?"

I succumbed to the craving, gently cupping her cheek. She didn't flinch away or show any signs of intending to like Bella had done. Instead her sobs lessened somewhat. Her breathing hitching. Heat flared under her skin at my touch, flushing her pale face scarlet. And with a jolt I realised that _I _felt the heat. I didn't feel like an ice statue anymore.

I felt alive.

"I'm making you forget." I whispered, because I had to. I had to stop her pain. And part of me knew she wasn't the only one who needed to forget. I leaned into towards her as her pulse thrummed faster.

And then, all sense of rationality disappeared.

***

**Lucie's POV:**

I didn't have time to catch my breath as his icy lips crushed down on mine.

I didn't have time to _think_.

And yet when it happened, I no longer wanted to.

It was at first, as if he resented kissing me. His marble lips pressed against mine hard, unyielding. But they weren't forceful; they were as light as a butterfly's wing, a brief touch, the pinnacle of gentle. And I - responding to the tiniest amount of pressure - felt myself go limp. His lips softened and my breathing came out in a ragged gasp. I don't think either of us expected _both _our reactions.

In a flurry of movement, I was somehow closer to him. Crushed into him almost. I could feel every inch of his toned chest, still wet. Chilling my skin, and sending Goosebumps all along my arms. Instinctively, my hands wound up to touch his hair - just like I'd been dying to do ever since I laid eyes on him. It was tousled, windswept and slightly damp from the icy water droplets still encrusted in it. I felt his fingers slip easily through mine as if it was the texture of silk. The arm that was securely wrapped round my small waist slipped behind my back, pulling me closer still. The other remained wound in my hair.

The kiss no longer remained the gentle touch I'd experienced earlier.

My lips were suddenly furiously in sync with his. The cold hand found the small of my back and we were gripping each other so tightly, with so much unexplained ardency that I felt sure one of us would shatter. I knew it wasn't right. There were a thousand things that arose with this, a thousand reasons _not _to react to his touch. It would only lead to guilt on both our parts; he would probably ignore me forever because of this one act. But I didn't _care_. I was enticed in this moment. Never wanting it to end. Edward Cullen was kissing me, and now the world no longer mattered.

I felt it fall away behind us. I didn't realise my eyes were closed. Yet his face burned behind my eyelids.

I couldn't think of anything _but _him now.

Blood burned in my lips, and I felt dizzy, _intoxicated_. His scent was everywhere. _He _was everywhere. Nothing else mattered. I was lost in perfection.

And then, he pulled away. Gently disentangling my arms from around his neck and pinning them forcefully - with a strength that I was unable to counter - to my sides. I couldn't have moved an inch away if I'd wanted to. His lean frame towered over me; so I looked at him, a twisted feeling swelling inside me. I felt as if something _vital _had been pulled from me. I was unable to prevent the rejection that surfaced in my eyes.

Part of me knew why he'd pulled away. The rational side. The _sane _part. I knew why he'd kissed me, _comfort_. His words were still ringing in my ears, _I'm making you forget_, and he had. Because now the terror had ceased, it was like waking from a nightmare, heart racing and body ready for an oncoming attack, and then remembering that it was just a dream. And letting the terror slowly drain away.

I could predict his reaction even now. Apologies, angst, loathing at what he'd done. The thought made me feel sick. Bile rising in my throat as nausea became paramount. Could he have felt _nothing_? The room started to spin; I didn't think I could cope if it had meant nothing to him. But with a sinking sensation in my stomach I realised that was the only rational thought. Reality began to merge around me, and with it the reason he'd kissed me became obvious. I'd thought comfort was probably the only reason. No - not probably, _was _the only reason. But part of me craved to admit it had been more than that. It was utterly irrational to feel loss at something I'd never had in the first place. Humiliation and shame flushed my cheeks as I felt a wayward tear fall down my cheek.

He caught it on a snowy finger, staring at me. I still couldn't decipher his expression, yet he read mine quick enough.

"_Breathe_." He whispered.

I couldn't breathe. I was staring at him too intently to multitask right now.

His eyes were burning, a brighter gold than I'd ever seen them (not necessarily lighter from quenched thirst) but resplendent somehow, more radiant. Two wild stunning suns; they blinded me. He stared at me like that for a few moments, his awe and shock equal to my own.

Brilliant and bright, alight in an inferno.

His perfect face shifted slightly when I didn't react to his command though. Concern. I knew why, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. It wasn't exactly _my _fault that I couldn't breathe right now. _He'd _caused that.

I'd always known that Edward was far too good at everything. But this was taking beyond the extremities. It just wasn't _fair _on the rest of society. He shouldn't have been able to make me feel like jelly. I wanted to shake my head in disbelief, but I couldn't control any part of my body right now. It was decided. He was _definitely _too good at kissing for his own good.

Carefully, I exhaled. It didn't work. I felt gasps arise soon after I took a breath; I was close to hyperventilation. That was embarrassing. My heart thudded erratically in my chest, swelling so much I thought it was going to burst. He must have read my face; the sadness prominent.

"What made you angry?" He asked, his face shifting into one of anxiety again, "You're eyes are emerald." I bit my lip, and hastily regretted doing so, it was _swollen_. I mentally muttered profanities about my stupid eyes. I wasn't angry; just annoyed at Edward's… well, his seemingly endless list if talents.

I still couldn't speak though. My breathing was laboured I felt my face flush.

"That was…" He exhaled slowly, his eyes trained on my expression, frowning slightly but his grip - I noted, he was still keeping me next to him - did not slacken . "Probably the not best idea of mine…" He grinned a slow, _breathtaking _crooked smile.

Not the best idea huh? I had to disagree with him on that count.

Still, I stared at him in shock. Where was the angst? Where was the anger? He misinterpreted my expression. Gold eyes growing wide in miscalculation, reading my half shock (half _elation_) as fear and probably rejection. (I suppose Mike's phrase of looking 'demented' would probably apply to me now. My lips parted, gaping at him, eyes _bulging _- let's face it. I looked like a sort of fish with a disease…)

Edward spluttered. Edward, who never stammered. Never broke his flawless speech. Never spoke without the uttermost articulation. Spluttered.

"I-I, Look, sorry - I-"

I cut him off. Placing one hand to his puckered lips and staring at him, for once not caring about how much he saw through my gaze. _Let him see. _My mind begged.

"Thank you." I whispered to him, my voice quieter than a whisper, speaking for the first time.

He stared back at me, the same new brilliant light in his golden eyes.

"You're welcome." He whispered, the articulation returning in full flow.

We stayed like that, staring at each other. My eyes fully took in his dishevelled appearance. His sky blue shirt had turned a darker shade in from the rain and darkness. It clung to his perfectly toned shape, his abdominal muscles prominent through the thin fabric. I flushed furiously in the darkness.

"What's that blush for?" He whispered quietly, one would have thought it was amusement underlying his tone - yet I could detect the curiosity behind them. I knew he wanted to read my thoughts. And I was sincerely glad he _couldn't_. I really did not need him knowing how his _abs _seemed forever my weak point. They made me giddy. It was the reaction of a thirteen year old. I probably should have felt ashamed at that, but I simply couldn't care less right now.

"Nothing." I breathed. He continued to stare at me, and gently prised me away slightly to examine me more carefully. The blush intensified. My stomach was pummelling, it was the oddest sensation. These sure as hell weren't butterflies. I felt like I had a whole bunch of birds fluttering inside me.

Yeah. There were _birds _infested in my stomach.

"I appear to have gotten you wet; you're top is soaking. Sorry about that." I looked down, he was right; the wet fabric from his shirt had me soaked. I was, once more, very glad it was dark. Oh crud. He was smiling. Crud, crud, crud. Vampires probably had _night vision_!

It was very lucky that expensive satin-type fabric was not see through. Else Alice would have had hell to pay.

"I shouldn't have kissed you." He whispered swiftly. But to my surprise his tone didn't sound at all like he'd regretted it. More like a rueful recognition. I couldn't help the question that busted through my lips.

"Why?" _Why did you do it? _I added silently.

"Because…" He ran a hand through his hair, "Lucie… I think I'm-"

A yawn surpassed me. It cut him off mid speech. I pursed my lips shut the second I uttered it. A look passed over his expression something like incomprehension, but it vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared, prohibiting me from understanding it fully. I knew he wasn't going to finish off the sentence now and cursed myself inwardly.

Of all the times to yawn, I had to do it _then_!

It was worse than when my thoughts became suddenly infatuated with elephants. I frowned. Well no - yawning was probably a lot better for my health (and not to mention sanity) than thinking about elephants. No good could _ever _come of thinking about elephants.

Well, crud; I was thinking about them again…

"You must be tired," He whispered, stopping my thoughts (which was seriously one hell of a relief) by placing me in one inhumanly swift movement onto the bed. And then appearing (with equal inhumane velocity) against the wall away from me, his eyes searching no doubt, for any signs that I would spontaneously fall asleep.

I looked at him, with weak knees, unable to stand up. My voice came out ragged.

"I've never felt more awake."

His eyes burned.

"You - you should probably _try _to sleep…" He said. His voice was _husky_. My pulse jolted. I wanted to glare at him. Sleeping was _impossible _after what had just happened.

A silence hung for a moment or two. My thoughts headed unwilling back to the present. I wanted to grimace at the thought of who possibly still remained downstairs, mentally picturing a Spanish Inquisition from a certain pixie. Alice. Had she seen this? My stomach did a sort of half plummet and half flip in an unknown emotion at the thought of her. Were she and Jasper still downstairs?

"They've gone," Edward murmured quietly.

"What the hell?!" I exclaimed, whirling around to look at Edward in shock. I couldn't phrase a coherent sentence before he interrupted with a low chuckle.

"You know Lucie, that has to be the first time I've heard you swear at me. How very blasphemous of you." I ignored him, resisting a scarily strong childish (and not to mention incredibly random) urge to stick my tongue out at him.

"Since when can you read my mind?" I hissed, referring back to his previous statement. He stared at me, baffled for a moment, before letting out another chuckle in realisation.

"Oh - Jasper and Alice? I could tell you were thinking of them. Well, only Alice really. They left when I came back, Jasper heard my arrival and God knows what emotions he experienced back then," He grimaced lightly, "I don't think he could take it. He and Alice have gone back to our house, they need to discuss matters with Carlisle anyway."

I stared at him in shock. My mind still reeling at the thought of Jasper's power. Crud, how strong was it? Could he really determine my emotions from downstairs? No wonder he'd escaped, angst followed by shock and then… well whatever Edward had been feeling. I was surprised he wasn't imploding from the stress of it yet. I changed my mind. I no longer wanted Jasper's gift.

"Still," I said, shaking my head clear of paranoid worries as much as I could, "how could you tell I was thinking of them? Why Alice specifically?" Honest curiosity was apparent through my words.

He chuckled slightly, shaking his head. "You looked _afraid_. Did you imagine her dragging you off to shop or something?" He commented lightly. I bit my lip. Unwilling. I decided to try and avert the question.

"So you still can't read my mind?" I clarified.

It worked; he let out a frustrated sigh.

"No. And it's infuriating. I know a lot about human nature Lucie. I can understand how most people's minds work; not to mention being able to read them anyway. People, _humans_, in general, are predicable." He ran a hand through his hair. Wow, he was doing that a lot tonight. I didn't want to mentally admit how good it looked.

I blushed at that thought. He raised an eyebrow - noticing my complexion.

"I take it I'm not predicable." I hedged warily, quickly averting attention to the ever increasing blush.

He smiled a slow crooked smile. My heart stuttered. I could think of way too many other things that smile looked like for me. None were very appropriate, and would certainly not help the situation at hand. Oh great. The blush deepened. I was going to be permanently florid at this rate!

"No, you're not. That's were the 'in general' part comes in. _You _Lucie are not predicable, you're the opposite. An enigma I haven't figured out yet; a mystery." His tone was musing.

"You're sure you want to figure me out?" I whispered quietly, I hadn't meant to say the thought. Bit it bubbled to my lips nonetheless. He lifted up my chin again; the fire had not gone, though it was less ardent than before. More of a deep smoulder, his skin still tingled where it met mine.

"Truly," he breathed, "I do."

I suddenly felt incredibly odd, _stunned_. My thoughts quite literally stopped. And I was sure my heart did the same. I felt the blood rose to my fair cheeks as I blushed a deep shade of red. Edward however, was still perfectly pale. His skin the same perfect snowy shade of ivory. There was still that one hell of a contrast between us.

"You do know," My voice was breathless, "that under all that mystery… and whatever reason you can't hear my thoughts, that behind that, I'm utterly uninteresting." He was going to interrupt, I could tell. The frown proved as much. I lifted one hand up to stop him as I continued. He needed to know this. "Under that Edward, I'm completely ordinary - devoid of my stupid… _collapsing_," I made a face at the word, "and freaky dreams and having a stupid erratic 'gift'" I resisted the urge to sketch quotation marks around that. "That only ends up in me on the floor again… _apart _from that, I _am _ordinary. I'm not special like you think." _I'm not the person you love… I'm not Bella._

I would never be either of those things.

He looked at me for a long moment before he spoke.

"Trust me," He said quietly, "you are the exact opposite of ordinary-"

"Wait," I interrupted him. His tone was one that I had heard on far too many corny sitcoms. But secretly, that wasn't the reason for my interruption. I had heard Edward say those lines before. With a different person in my place. Bella. The thought was like an icy piercing to my chest. I couldn't contemplate why he'd said it to me, but I knew it wasn't for the same reasons that he's said it to Bella. A twinge of disappoint swelled inside me, but I promptly abolished it, furious at myself. There was no reason to be disappointed. I shouldn't be _- _no _wasn't _disappointed.

I tried to keep my tone light as I continued, unwilling to let the disappointment taint the edge of my words. The mocking voice in my mind jeered me at that. _Oh you mean the nonexistent disappointment that shouldn't have even existed? Is that what you want to hide_? I ignored the thought, concentrating hard on making humour seem like the dominant emotion in my voice. "Whatever you say, do not say 'extraordinary' that's just plain cheesy."

He grinned. The tension from before lifted.

"Okay, no cheesy stuff." He promised.

"Good." I laughed lightly. We continued like that. Just talking. Our conversations ranged from _Barney the Purple Dinosaur_ (who in my eyes would _always _remain creepy) to books and history. I knew he was distracting me, and I revelled in it. I wanted to be at peace, even for a moment.

And with Edward, I could.

***

I wasn't sure how many hours had passed.

The window was still wide from where Edward had come in. I supposed he hadn't had the time to close it. The rain was still falling heavily outside, but it still sounded too restless for my liking. The winds had picked up too; a gust of bitter air came through the window unrepentantly, sending the pale curtains into a frenzied thrashing motion. It lifted the collar on Edward's - still damp - thin sky blue shirt, and made my fair hair whip and lash around my face.

Unease surged through me, eradicating my previous emotions and thoughts.

Edward's expression changed minutely. His eyes remained the same deep shade of topaz, but they seemed to harden and adopted a glassy look; a look I'd noticed he used when he was unwilling to share his thoughts. But it wasn't just his eyes that told me something was wrong, his lips were now pursed, his entire expression taut. This confused and scared me. I didn't speak.

And then, he grabbed me.

The air left my lungs at his touch as I gasped audibly. His icy hand was gripping my arm, just above the elbow. My eyes shut instinctively, a pair of blood red eyes blinding my vision, _Demetri's_. I felt the scream building in my throat. I drew in small gasps, making sure I received oxygen, determined not to lose consciousness. I wanted to kick myself for the irrational reaction I kept getting. My vision was blurring and I felt light headed. Sharply - with all the concentration I could muster - I focused on Edward's face, tried to match the reason to suit his action.

I didn't have to wait long.

"Lucie," He hissed, his breath was shallow, words agitated, his concern for my reaction was in his sunlit eyes but something more urgent now burned in them. "We have to leave, _now_." He didn't explain further then that, instead grabbing my wrists and pulling me towards the door. I stopped him, pacing a white hand to his chest. He frowned before looking back at me.

"I don't like it here," he murmured after a pause, the urgency from before was still present, but toned down somehow. As if something more important to him dispelled it. "It's just… I can't explain it. It's not safe, especially with only me being here to protect you. We should go back to my house. Carlisle and Esme are there; you can rest." I stared at him in shock as I processed his last three words. Rest? He thought I wanted rest?

"I don't want rest!" I protested in a sound too loud to be considered normal in a general conversation. But I wasn't shouting, or at least, not yet.

"But you need to." He murmured to himself quietly. I hadn't realised that we were already at the door.

"What are we _doing_? I-I have to find my dad, he-" I couldn't say the words, I kept choking on nothing but air as panic escalated through me.

He pressed an icy finger to my lips again, shutting me up instantly.

"_I'll _find him." I didn't miss the lack of plural in his words. I still couldn't control my fear it continued to crash down around me, making my short gasps turn into choked dry sobs. No tears fell now, I had run out. I didn't want him to go. I could predict the events that would precede this. Jasper would send me into a sleep haze, Edward would go, no doubt alone, and he would get hurt. It wasn't long before the people who plagued my dreams realised that it wasn't just my father that I cared about.

But something inside me was still burning, a part of me screaming in desperation to find him. Too many thoughts plagued my mind. Too many images of him alone… or worse with Victoria. Her bestial face loomed before my tightly shut eyes now and I wanted to kick myself. I'd accepted his distractions. I'd _deliberately _tried to forget about him. The person who I loved all my life was in danger and I was doing _nothing_. I was a coward.

I couldn't just _stand _here. I had to find him, I had to stop whatever she (or the Volturi) was planning, I _had _to. By this point, I had completely forgotten about Edward. In wild desperation I ran to the door, as if trying to escape. I needed to find him; every second that passed made the fear increase inside me. Bile rose in my throat at the thought of how much time he could have left.

I cold hand pulled against my wrist as I lunged for the door. I was uncoordinated; I couldn't seem to turn the handle. Edward's voice seemed distant and quiet in comparison to my sharp ragged breaths.

"Lucie, stop - he'll be okay."

"But he isn't!" I wanted to scream, I wanted to fight and shout. But I couldn't. The sentence left my chapped lips in a strangled gasp. "He _isn't _okay. He left because of me Edward. He's trying to protect me. He could _die _because of me! I have no idea where he is and _neither do you_!" My voice was warbling in something distinctly like hysteria now. I could hear his velvet voice soothing me, murmuring soft reassuring words, but relentlessly, I pulled free of his grasp, instead running to the window. In a brief flash of mad inspiration considering how high up we were, and what impact I would make with the earth beyond. I didn't care what it took. I _had _to find him.

I leant forwards, the night had fallen in earnest, I couldn't even see the ground below. I decided that made things better, I wouldn't have to worry about the fall so much. I leant further still, but there was suddenly a pair of hands gripping the tops of my arms. The cold skin not prevented by the thin fabric. The grip was firm and hard, preventing me from falling.

But it was too much. My bruises stung like salt had been applied to a fresh wound. The cold, _clammy _touch was too similar, and the flashes and visions that accompanied it possessed me with a violent intensity. And suddenly, I wasn't even in my bedroom anymore. I was trapped in an unknown clearing, one that withheld a tainted eerie beauty. And I couldn't _move_.

All the breath left me. I knew what was next.

_The clearing was darker than the I last seen time I'd seen it. It remained as evasive as ever, yet the feeling of déjà vu was prominent once more. It seemed familiar, scarily so. And yet at the same time, the eerie way the wind ruffled around me made it surreal and indistinct._

_A voice drawled out to me in the shadows, again I couldn't move away._

"_You know, it'd be easier for all of us Lucie," It called out, ever closer, "if you'd just come to us." There was a long silence, I was afraid to speak, knowing how easily my horror would be heard. He continued, in the same horribly familiar drawl. "You do know that the longer you stay away the more people will get hurt. I know how to reach you Lucie. Your father was just the beginning…"_

_Utter panic raged through me. _

"_Who are you?" My voice shook, the fear was constricting my throat, the air left my lips in a white cloud._

"_Oh, I think you know who _I _am." There was a ghostly chuckle. I took me a slow second to realise why thee atmosphere had suddenly become more terror filled. And by then; it was already too late. The voice, the horribly sinister musical voice - _was closer_._

_I didn't know what happened next. I just knew that now there was clammy hand, cupped around my neck. Tainted breath was being exhaled onto the hollow of my throat, one hand there, another pulling my hair._

"_Until next time…" He whispered, before placing his rotten scarred lips to my throat._

***

I could feel the choked sounds now ripping from my chest, but I was deafened by a ringing sensation in my ears. Red clouded my vision, replaced by a perpetual darkness. The same dark voice was still consuming my mind and it had me captured. I couldn't breathe for fear that the invisible grip would tighten around my limbs, constrict me.

But at the same time, I could hear _him_. A distant angel saying my name. Anxiety furiously evident in his fervent tone. And somehow, _his _voice was louder than the dark one. I listened to it; the frantic words that I couldn't make out slowly became more important. Abolished the darkness.

The thought of darkness scared me. It was still around me. I was wrapped up in it. It was like I was drowning. I tried to remember times of my childhood in which I had swum, but none presented themselves. I'd never come close to drowning before, but I decided that this was what it must feel like. Drowning in fear, lost underwater, with no idea which way you were pointed in, and no idea how to break the surface.

But I _had _to break the surface.

Reality hit me hard as I realised I should open my eyes, the answer to stopping the night.

And so I did.

And _he _was there. I felt myself being lifted slightly, _closer _to him. I was in his arms somehow. Edward. He was an angel. He prevented the darkness. My bronzed haired beautiful angel. It was surreal, and yet he was _here_. And I was in his arms.

There was no chance of succumbing into the darkness as I gazed into his intense ochre gold eyes. They were shining right into mine, burning and passionate and fierce. Sunlight that broke my eternal night. I didn't move my gaze from his until he leaned over me and put his lips on my forehead softly. The rush of current it brought granted me hearing. But all I could hear where choked sobs. _My _choked sobs. I exhaled slowly and steadily, trying to imitate the likes of what people did in events like hyperventilation.

"I've got you." He said, his voice a mixture of soft and low, and his eyes never leaving mine.

"S-sorry." I eventually choked out. I felt humiliated. Ashamed at the - what seemed like - involuntary emotional breakdown. Worried for how much he could have resented me for reacting like that to him gripping my arms. And scared for how he'd fix the situation. I didn't want to see Alice now. I couldn't. I could barely interact with him. The thought of more people had my head spin.

Part if me knew I had to keep talking. I had to convince him I was okay.

"I-I didn't m-mean-" Frustration swelled at my stammering, the same guttural choked way that I spoke, the despair that was so evident. But he shook his head, silencing me with his expression. I heard the creaking of the bed as he sat on it. But he didn't do what I'd expected, instead of nestling me in the blankets he pulled me onto his lap, tucking my head underneath his chin. I didn't object.

"Don't." He murmured, "Just rest Lucie, for once." I wanted to protest again, my mind screaming the opposite of his command. I looked away, only to have a marble hand cup my cheek and become forced to look into his eyes again. "Please Lucie, just sleep. For me." The sincerity in his gaze was scaring me.

"I _can't_." I disagreed frenetically. The risks were too high.

"I promise," He said lowly, "I won't let you suffer because of them," somehow, I knew he was referring to my dream, "I'll keep them at bay." A ghost of a smile tugged his lips, yet didn't reach his ochre eyes, eyes that seemed darker. "I can even lull if you'd like?"

I couldn't reply to him, instead drawing in small gasps, making sure I received oxygen, determined not to lose consciousness. I wanted to do more than just kick myself now for the irrational reaction I kept getting, fearing how it could be perceived.

He sighed against my hair, inhaling my scent as I shook silently. Instinctively tightening my grip on his shirt. My small hands were now knotted in the fabric, damp still, though I no longer knew whether it was from the rain or my tears. The darkness stayed at bay when I was with Edward. I didn't want to leave his cool arms. I held onto my irrational, _inexplicable _infatuation with his touch. The cold prevented the darkness, and soothed the numb sensation.

But it couldn't completely dispel the hollow sensation in my chest. The empty void that only my father's voice could fill. Horrible words rung in my ears. _Your father was just the beginning…_I gripped the fabric tighter, not letting anymore screams escape me. Edward seemed to feel my tension; I felt his marble arms against my skin, the same cold temperature as ever, reassuringly constant. Still, I knewI craved for another set of arms, a warm pair, clumsy and loving. My father's. The same parchment and fire smell. The smell of _home_.

The sobs became fainter as I closed my eyes, sighing against him as my pulse thrummed through my veins. The event had taken too much out of me. I felt tiredness flutter my eyelids shut. But I could still hear Edward humming something. I couldn't place the tune. A memory presented itself to the forefront of my mind. _Edward craned of the piano, elegant fingers moving over the ivory keys with undeniable dexterity. A plethora of notes haphazardly recorded in his perfect calligraphy. _

I could suddenly remember the tune. It was the same one I'd overheard him playing what seemed like ages before. Before the chaos had fully struck. Even through humming, I could still hear the stunning way each note flowed into another. Beautifully composed, I tiredly questioned his inspiration for it.

It took me a few slow seconds to understand what he was saying in his melodic voice, matching that same mystifying tune, already lulling me into a tired haze.

It was the simplest litany of all; repeated with enigmatic ardour, quietening my silent sobs.

My name.

"_Lucie_…"

***

**Mhmmm….?**

**Meh. I suck. I don't like this chapter. By next the whole comfort/angst thing will go me thinks. Edward and Lucie moments are as easy as cake to write. But with Bella? And _Jake_****? That bit was painful for me. *grumbles* I'm sorry… I wanted to make this chapter completely Edward's POV but I gave up. Edward's hard. And I don't like this chappy very much because of it. Seriously. It was flipping hard to write:** angstcomfortreliefangsthappysaddistraughtansgtcomfortARRGGH!!** I can't deal with it all. Lucie's much easier. She gets to ramble on about elephants (yeah… very close to putting a 'n' on the front of that word still) and birds living in her stomach. :P**

**I'm half expecting angsty style reviews for this chapter… (feel free to throw me one. Any reviews are appreciated. And babbling on about nothing… well. I do that a lot too. So don't refrain from that.)Anyway… I don't know. Today I suck at writing. ;(**

**Now. I can officially state that we now have an EX NUN… seriously. That was **_**tonnes **_**of detail. Hehe, I was laughing at some reviews requesting this to stay T. Jeeesh. D'you really think I could write an M fic? I would **_**die**_**. I can't even write 'song each other senseless' without blushing- yup, I feel **_**ridiculous **_**right now - so PAH for someone fearing an approaching lemon. I'm the sort of.. Um.. **_**Innocent **_**person who had no idea what a lemon was. Honestly, I thought it was a citrus fruit! I read one by accident and by the second line I was like: Mike is doing WHAT to Edward?! (it wasn't nice…I feel scarred for life :p) **

**Bella. Edward. Lucie. Jake. Nelephants. Jeeesh. All one big mess. (… okay. No nelephants.) No, Edward has not broken up with Bella. I'll just get that settled before you all go off assuming things. Now, I bet you're all bubbling with curiosity as to what happened with the infamous couscous. No? Ah well :p **

**So, as I said previously, hedgehog is sick. Also, I have had a very crappy day. (Maybe I can use that as an excuse for a bad chapter? :s) The house is seriously deprived of anything edible… and so I've been hungry. In my hunger ensued depression I attempted to make couscous. **_**That **_**was not the greatest idea of mine. I can actually cook *gasps* seriously, I am a pro at anything sweet (COOKIES & awesome blubbery and chocolate chip muffins :p) and anything pasta based. Couscous however… well, that - as I recently discovered - is another matter entirely…**

**Basically… my sort of cooking (though I doubt you could call it that)… well, it went wrong. The couscous ended up looking like a sort of… Lump. (A highly non-edible lump I might add) but I was **_**starving**_**. Then came the next fiasco (see what I mean about a seriously **_**bad **_**day?) I was sort of holding the big pan of couscous.. And then next moment, MOUSE had come in with a baby RAT (she's been bringing in a lot of these in recently. My suspicions is that there's a secret ratty nest somewhere. With my luck, it'll be in the stupid walls of my room which would explain why those birds have survived so long in there… yeah. The birds are **_**still **_**there.) Anyway, Mouse came in, happily trotting along with this baby rat hanging from her mouth.**

**And I, being the genius I am, **_**dropped **_**the pan of couscous.**

**Yeah. Seriously, fate hates me. Mouse promptly jumped (very high up actually I was surprised she was that she was that agile. You'd have never of guessed with the amount of time she spends lethargically sleeping, often over my work. On this occasion it's a geography project that's coated in fur.) She dropped the baby rat which **_**was still alive; **_**said rat began to run around the room, causing Mouse to chase it; and here I was - the entire time - frozen in horror, eyes torn between the couscous smeared all over the kitchen floor and Mouse running after this baby rat!**

**I spent 30 minutes catching the baby rat. I let it out in a field. Then I had to spend another hour cleaning up the couscous mess. Mouse spent the entire time re-looking for the baby rat. **

**So yup, Hedgehog was very sick, and as it turns out, trusty old **_**Norton Anti Virus**_**. ISN'T as trusty as I assumed. *huff* Sorry for the apology that basically jumbled into a nice Ol'rant… but you needed to all know that I didn't not update because I wasn't satisfied with the awe striking reviews, (816! WOWZERRS!) But because dear Hedgehog was sick. **

**Oh, did anyone notice the very random Barney Purple Dinosaur mention? Long story. I have a phobia of people dressed up as overly large animals. You know those big…. **_**Bear **_**things in supermarkets? One was at Tesco once (years ago) he came up to me apparently wanting a hug. I screamed and ran from the shop. Anyway. I officially had the creepiest dream about Barney (can anyone even **_**remember **_**Barney) and I woke up in the sitting room sofa. I haven't sleepwalked in years. But I did last night. Barney was chasing me…**

**Anyway. If you write a review I'd appreciate it. Seriously… they're awe inspiring. Those reviewers who give freakishly long ones are fantabulous. You hear me? ****Fantabulous****.**

**If you review, I'll give you a nelephant.**

**Lily- who HAS to learn a script. And advises you all to review. The number of nelephants she possesses IS rather alarming…**


	34. The Desperation of Denial

**Heyyyys! (Mouse. Is. My. Muse.)**

**Bah! I'm SO very, very, very sorry for this late update…in the history of latest updates…well, maybe I exaggerated a bit there. But c'mon.. I haven't updated in…12 days… 12 DAYS?! I'm really sorry. I've juts been a busy bee. Buzzing… around….(And. Does anybody know how annoying a non-working-BT-home hub-that-prevents-internet-access is?!) Ugh. Anyway. The chapter's pretty long, if that accounts for anything. And…seeing as I'm saving you all from a torturous Thursday… don't hurt me? **

**There are two things I think you need to know:**

**1). I can officially state that I now know **_**waaayyyy **_**too much about Mycobacterium tuberculosis. It's unhealthy. (Yush! I got my 'proper' _mock_exam results back for my biology GCSE exam… *gah. It's still just a mock though -huff-* and I got another A*… which is good considering I did absolutely no revision **_**whatsoever**_**… PAH.. That's for a mock though. The real exam's on next Friday. I have only one thing to say: Bleeuuuccchh!)**

**2). Moving on from that depressing subject: I have another favourite word I'd like to share with you all - **Jade Lyssy Swan ***coughgoreadherstorygoddammit!cough* was the one who pointed out its awesomeness. GALUMPH! Yes. Galumph. It is in fact, a real word… and I think it describes the lope (see, now why do I think of horses when I type lope?…that's it. No loping. Nelephants simply cannot be compared to horses. The walk…?) of a nelephant perfectly.**

**Galumph! Now, despite how incredibly awe striking that word is… it simply cannot beat the likes of **_**thwarted**_**. Sorry. Nothing beats thwarted. (Me still thinketh it'd be the strange Ol'**_**thw**_**noise thata maketh so dandy) And seriously… **_**don't **_**ask what type of demented-pirate-type-accent that was. I don't even know myself.****(… never. I repeat. **_**Never **_**claim you can do a German accent. I thought I could… but oh no… turns out I sound **_**Russian**_**. Very Russian actually.) :p**

**Oooh! I have an idea (that I'm sure… no one will even consider, feel free to skip the babble and just read the chapter instead. It's… **_**a little bit **_**less pointless I guess :p) Can anyone can think of any other-oh-so-fantabulously-awesome-words like **_**galumph **_**or **_**thwarted**_**? I'll set a challenge. You hear me? A challenge! Whoever gives the best word that catches my eye in a review, will get a mention in the next chappy. :p An offer you can't refuse eh? C'mon! Find a word I actually have to **_**look up **_**(see, I never realised just how many words I know. Apparently: a lot.)****and I'll be impressed :P**

**Do you realise how freaking fantabulous the reviews are?! Seriously… other fics have like: **_**OMG. Update!**_**… and then you give me **_**paragraphs **_**worth of comments! I LOVE YOU! Thanks so much for all that, and I love the short reviews too. And the anon. GAH! The anons that I can't reply to drive me crazy! But I love them. Reviews are seriously THE best source of inspiration EVER. (You know what. I think they even beat Mouse…) No kidding :P **

**REVIEWS! 862?! YAYS! Could we get over 900 by next chapter? Is that **_**possible**_**? (Oh! And I have serious catching up to do. If I normally review a story of yours, please mention if I haven't reviewed a latest chapter. I will do! I just need prompting. Blame my bee-traits! *buzz?*)**

**I pretty much wrote all of this chapter up today. Meh. I'm not sure if I like it. My opinion's bias anyway. But, if on the off chance, you all HATE this chapter. Then hey! Blame Mouse! (if this confuses you. Well. Just wait till the A/N at the end of the chappy.)**

**That's all for the babble (well, for now at least) see you at the bottom ;)**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

I felt tiredness flutter my eyelids shut. But I could still hear Edward humming something. I couldn't place the tune. A memory presented itself to the forefront of my mind. _Edward craned of the piano, elegant fingers moving over the ivory keys with undeniable dexterity. A plethora of notes haphazardly recorded in his perfect calligraphy. _

I could suddenly remember the tune. It was the same one I'd overheard him playing what seemed like ages before. Before the chaos had fully struck. Even through humming, I could still hear the stunning way each note flowed into another. Beautifully composed, I tiredly questioned his inspiration for it.

It took me a few slow seconds to understand what he was saying in his melodic voice, matching that same mystifying tune, already lulling me into a tired haze.

It was the simplest litany of all; repeated with enigmatic ardour, quietening my silent sobs.

My name.

"_Lucie_…"

***

**The Desperation of Denial **

I knew something was wrong the second I awoke.

Perhaps it was the remnants of my recent dream, the same dream that was burning vividly behind my closed eyelids and the one I continued to obscure my thoughts. Blocking it furiously, refusing to let the enhanced emotions and images take control of my actions.

Or perhaps it was the sounds above me, the low anxious murmurs that passed over my head so quietly they could be mistaken for leaves caught in a current of wind. The ones I could remember and yet not quite fit the people who spoke them. A quick trilling soprano, a low bass, and a dark furious harmony with a pitch I couldn't pinpoint.

Or _maybe _it was the cold tense arms wrapped protectively around my waist. Poised and taut, as if ready to pull me away in an instant.

It took me a few slow seconds to register this last fact. The fact that there were cold arms wrapped around my still figure, that had been - up until now - unconscious. I kept my eyes closed as I tried to remember the previous night, all the while fighting back the vivid images my nightmare had provided.

And then, I remembered everything.

Now, the fact that there were hard, icy arms wrapped inflexibly around my waist made perfect sense. I yelped and snapped my eyes open in realisation. Only to find more than one vampire situated in my room. Alice was the first person I saw, one small white hand on her hip, the other entwined with Jasper's significantly larger one. They were both staring at someone beside me before they're wary eyes flickered to mine.

_Edward_.

He was the tense person beside me. I don't know why, but in this knowledge, I relaxed. My tensed muscles loosened, I knew Jasper was somewhat to account to the mood change, but I couldn't quite dispel the feeling that I was _safe _with him.

I had almost forgotten all of their expressions. Each mirrored the other, wary and cautious. It now appeared my initial feeling when I'd awoken had been more accurate than I'd assumed. Something _was _wrong. My heart's pace stuttered slightly, it took me several seconds to find my voice. The silence that had suddenly fallen did not go by me unnoticed. I knew they're conversation had stopped because I could now listen to them. Suspicion lay thick on the air.

"What's…" I didn't quite know what to say. Their stillness worried me. The composed expressions too forced. "Wrong?" My voice was smaller than I'd expected. Weak and fragile. I hated it. Alice was the first to compose her expression, her small lips twisting into a reassuring smile, one that probably had the opposite effect. Her smile - like her expression previously - was forced. Fake.

I was lying at an odd angle. I always slept on my side, curled into a small ball to withhold as much heat as possible. My muscles felt cramped when I stretched them, I vaguely considered how long I must have been asleep for. I'd only had one nightmare throughout the night, and even that was hazy. Part of me wondered how Edward being next to me had affected my dreams.

Though admittedly, I didn't even know if he had been near me. It all depended on how long I'd slept. Still, I still had a nightmare, and even though it _had _been indistinct, it was not so enough to keep me from trying to prevent remembering it. It had been more of a repeat really. I'd been alone in the dark clearing. Screaming after a pale figure as they disappeared through the trees. Despite it not being very detailed, it had scared me more than most.

I sat up properly; Edward's arm didn't slip from my waist in the movement. If anything, his grip tightened.

"Everything's okay Lucie," Alice trilled in a quick, soft murmur, "We were just discussing things about your dad and…" I don't know what exactly made her trail off, but judging by Edward's posture - which somehow became even _more _stiff - I guessed it was whatever look he was giving her. I twisted round to face him, but he'd already collected his expression, giving me an easy smile that didn't fool me. No trace of a smile was in his eyes, a dark ochre now. His voice was the same harmonious tune, but a new kind of stress unlined it.

"You've woken up," I watched his eyes; the smile was still in place on his handsome features. I refused to get sidetracked from those. I didn't know exactly what was wrong, but in remembering the previous night's events I wasn't sure what to do. I almost felt sorry for Jasper. My confusion was probably driving him insane. Edward continued "You only got around six hours sleep, you should probably-"

"Oh my God!" I shrieked suddenly. I'd been asleep for _that _long? The atmosphere had suddenly brought on how urgent my current situation actually was. I tried to pull the duvet off me, but it was as if my strength had been zapped from me. The cover was too heavy for me to move, and the thought only induced my panic as my father's face formed in my mind, white and terror struck. "Six hours?! But why aren't we searching, my dad, the Volturi, Victoria… h-he could be-"

"It's okay, it's okay," Alice repeated in a high quick voice, I resisted the urge to scream in disagreement to her words. Though I knew screaming wouldn't help. "Look Lucie, it's good you got some sleep, not enough admittedly, but-"

"Not _enough_?" I repeated lowly, somehow, despite my low pitch, the threat of hysteria was still prominent.

"You're meant to have at least eight hours of sleep Lucie," Alice continued in a soothing tone, but I was no longer listening. The thought of my father with Victoria suddenly presented itself. I could see her prowling towards him with her cat like strides, pearl white teeth glistening, eyes a dark ruby red. The image pulsed adrenaline through me, in a swift movement that I'd been unable to perform seconds prior - I yanked the covers off me, trying to stand up. Cool hands formed manacles around my wrists, I turned to Edward, meaning to shout at him, glare at least. Show some of my coiled up rage at the thought of my father being in danger.

But I didn't when I saw his face. I could practically feel my expression crumple. His shadowed ochre eyes were staring at me in a way I had never seen before. The dark eyes flickered over my features so fast, as if trying to memorise them. I knew the look all to well; it was the same I used nearly whenever I saw him. He looked at me as if I was about to run away. Become little more than a distant memory. I was just in thinking about him like that; _he _was the one who was supernatural, who was perfect. _He _was the one who was more likely to disappear. The sort of person who only existed in dreams.

I wasn't any of those things. I was more ordinary than he realised. I just had tendencies to have disconcerting dreams and a gift that resembled an epileptic fit. I wasn't special in anyway. Insane? Likely, but not special…

Desperation was slipping through his façade. My shout died in my throat. It took me several moments to hear again, I couldn't seem to look away from Edward. Alice was still talking though, her tone had taken on a medical air - it was something, I thought, that just didn't suit her personality. If there hadn't been the fact that it was her soprano peal of a voice I could hear, I would have thought it was Carlisle talking.

"….and you haven't been nearly enough rest recently. Sleep deprivation leads to lots of risks, hallucinations, and lack of appetite. It's not healthy. You're a human; we can't have you like that. You're weak like this." A pain stabbed me at the truth of her words; it seemed it wasn't just I who had noticed how weak I was.

My face adorned a grimace; Edward's reaction however, was somewhat different. The second she said the words, he let out a menacing growl; my eyes flickered back to him in shock. But his eyes were no longer trained on mine, now glaring daggers at Alice. It was a look I rarely saw on Edward's face, fierce and angry, unmistakably _vampirish_…

And the little pixie didn't even flinch.

"Don't even _consider _it Alice," he hissed at her, "nothing is going to make that happen. You hear me? _Nothing_." Curiosity burned inside me at whatever Edward had seen in Alice's mind, but I couldn't form words to interject, my lips had formed a shocked 'o'. I knew who the subject of their conversation was, and because of this I felt my stomach contract and form a solid knot.

I seemed to be the centre point of chaos these days.

Edward let out another low hiss. "No. That won't help. Can't you already see her reaction?" I lifted up my head, confused as to whether they were still talking about me. And feeling slightly frustrated that (if they _were _still referring to me) they were just… _ignoring _me. I wanted to say: 'hello, I am _right here _you know' but for some reason, I didn't.

It was odd, considering I'd been so filled with energy before, that now I felt drained - almost tired. I didn't question their topic. After all, it didn't really matter. My eyelids flickered hazily, as I rested my head against something hard. The hard object tensed for a moment but then softened, I felt something cold rub my arm. The sensation was affectionate, soothing. Lying like this made me realise that nothing was that urgent. In fact, lying here was probably the most sensible option. The murmurs from above seemed more distant by the second; I listened to them mutely, not really processing any information.

"She out?"

"Good thinking Jazz, I wondered why she'd stopped protesting. Is it easier now? I thought she was harder to manipulate." A tuneful high sound murmured. What did that last word mean again? This dream was already confusing me; a sound like a sigh was the next thing I heard.

"She is. I don't know why, Carlisle thinks it's connected to everything. Why you can't see her future clearly; why Edward can't read her mind; why it's hard for me. I mean, you _can _see her future, but it's hazy right? Well it's hard to change her emotions... Especially since they're always so erratic these days. Seriously, they're hectic of late; she's as bipolar as you at the moment Edward. Could it possibly be _you _who makes her so confusing to be around?" The tone was amused.

"This isn't funny Jasper," Of all the strange musical voices, this one, I decided, was the angriest. His (I decided it was too low to be a female's) words muffled as though spoken through clenched teeth. "I don't understand why you can both get an insight to some extent. I can't at all. _Every _bit of her is hazy to me. Asides from how obvious her facial expressions are, I can't tell _anything_."

"Yeah, well maybe you don't want to…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I've already told you Edward, but you ignored me each time. You're blind, despite what happened last night. And if you could read her mind it'd just mean that you're denial would no longer be needed. While I'm all in favour of that, I think you'd react differently. Even with both Alice and I's advise you don't listen. You didn't feel how quickly her emotions changed, if you just-"

"Don't Jasper," The darker voice was strained now, rueful. "It was a mistake. This can't happen, she's already in danger, and we've got bigger issues that need to be dealt with. How long can you keep her asleep?"

"Not for long, she's surprisingly alert despite only having six hours rest considering her insomnia traits-"

"She hasn't got insomnia Jasper." Agitated was the only word I could use to describe the way those words were spoken.

"Carlisle said it could be an option, it's been over a week since she's had over eight hours sleep. She only sleeps in short periods, that's a classic symptom, along with frequent awaking at night-"

"She doesn't have that Jasper. Just… _trust _me. She doesn't."

"If you're so sure. But even so, she _shouldn't _be so alert right now. The moment she started to talk about her father she suddenly became wide awake, it's hard to make her fall asleep when she's like that."

A thought hit me then. The words I could overhear where too sharp to be considered a dream. This thought only added to my rapidly developing theory that I _was _awake. I could feel my back pressed against what felt like a slab of marble. _Edward's chest. _It was hard to hold in my gasp. I concentrated on remaining as still and inactive as possible. Wondering how long it would take for Jasper to realise I could hear their conversation.

It was very hard to refrain the emotion that was swelling inside me at the thought at having been _sent to sleep! _A very strong annoyance at Jasper, and idiocy at myself for not realising it. Still, I concentrated on keeping my breathing even to stop those thoughts. I knew I would only hear them speak openly when they thought I couldn't hear.

"Do you think you can just wait Edward? Listen… I haven't hunted in two days… I need to _get out_. Sorry Alice, I just…_can't_. "

"It's okay Jazz, go now, I can smell elk nearby, I'll take her back."

Hang on? Did that mean that Jasper had gone to hunt? A whooshing sound and the scraping noise that my window made confirmed my thoughts. _Result_! I didn't refrain my annoyance now, mentally planning various punishments. I stopped my childish thoughts though, remembering now it was only Edward and Alice in the room.

Edward's voice was the loudest - from being just above me. His sentences were clipped and brusque, I could only hear half the conversation, Alice was evidently firing questions in their thoughts at Edward. I managed t stop myself from frowning, realising it would alert them to the fact I was awake, instead inwardly groaning. In hearing only half their conversation, everything was going to be more confusing.

"We _can't_. _I _have to go. Not you. Not Jasper. _Me_. What? Of course she'll argue! That's why she can't come. It's safer this way Alice, I don't care what you saw, you're visions are subjective; we all know how many things can change. I _won't _let that happen." The words seemed to have an effect on Alice, I heard her voice, shrill and frustrated, obviously feeling the need to express her words through speech.

"Ugh Edward! Why do keep doing that? What makes you think you should change it? It could be f-"

"Enough Alice." Edward's tone was sharp. "I don't believe it fate."

"But _why_? You just refuse the concept Edward. I've lived in the future my entire life. If fate didn't exist, what brought me and Jasper together?"

"That," I could practically _see _him (despite the fact that my eyes were closed. If they were open it'd be a bit too apparent that I wasn't asleep) pinching the bridge of his nose. He sounded almost tired, as if the conversation was aging him. Edward, I had just discovered, had no patience when it came to arguing with Alice. "Is completely and utterly irrelevant."

"Tell me then," Alice replied, now just as curt as he, "if that was just irrelevant to you, why? Why don't you believe in fate, or destiny or-"

"Because I don't like the idea of having my life predetermined." He snapped at her. It was the first time I'd ever considered Edward alike to a seventeen year old. Now, angst-driven and grouchy, he was acting his age perfectly. Alice's reply was almost too quiet for me to hear, it was also becoming increasingly hard to hear _anything _with Edward's growls. Seriously. What was with it with him and growling? He seemed to be doing it one heck of a lot more frequently recently.

"Everything happens for a reason." I didn't want to think too much about Alice's muted words; the curt tone had left her tone almost as quickly as it had appeared. They held the same mystical air I associated with her visions. Edward spoke before my mind could wander much on that though, the sharp, brisk tone returning.

"Listen Alice, I don't care what you saw, it _doesn't matter_. Your visions are not reliable enough to base our plans around them. That won't happen to her. You wanted Bella to be changed. What if I _had _changed her? What would that mean now?" I lay stiff now. Edward's brooding words were not ones that I would have expected. To say that they were shocking was an understatement.

Their words still seemed hazy to me, though now Alice's vision made sense. Edward had run to save Bella… _then why did he kiss me? _I blocked out that thought. There were only two logical explanations anyway: comfort, or well, maybe I was the rebound girl? I flushed. Even in my head that line sounded silly. "I went to Bella, and then the dog came. She loves him. He's a human - well at least more so than I. I doubt she's willing to give up a life devoid of bloodlust and murder. She can have… a normal life with him."

Uncontrollable sympathy washed over me at the pain in his voice. I no longer cared if I was just 'a rebound girl.' Why? Because he was in _pain_. I knew he loved Bella. I'd always known that. Of course he loved her… and she loved him. I was just some random human stuck in the middle of it all. I didn't know what to think anymore. And I couldn't quite dispel the thought that he could have kissed me for a bigger reason, not just comfort. I wanted to sigh. I was always rubbish at lying. I didn't care if it was just for comfort. Heck, I didn't care if it was because he was trying to prove something to Bella. He'd helped me, even for the briefest moment, to forget everything and anything that wasn't… _him_.

There was no way I was going to complain about that.

And yet now, as I relentlessly kept up my pretence of being asleep, the facts of the situation still seemed too surreal. Nothing added up to me. Chaos was falling.

_Edward had found out…_he knew about Bella and Jacob. My mind couldn't comprehend the thought. I could only see him running off to Volterra. It was the reason I'd never told him in the first place. And yet he _wasn't_. He was here. _He's trying to keep you safe. _That had me stumped. I wasn't sure which emotion was more dominant, my shock or fear. I wasn't even sure why I was afraid. I just… _was_. Something wasn't right, if I was hearing Alice and Edward's conversation correctly, then that meant that Edward was planning on looking for my father alone. A shrill voice brought me sharply back to their presence and away from my confusing mind.

"Edward! Why did you even do that? It was stupid and reckless. I'd have seen-"

"But _you didn't _Alice! Your vision was of Bella _alone. S_hewith a drunken murderer and heroin addict-"

"I didn't know that Edward…" She interrupted in a quiet voice. "I-I didn't realise…"

"No." Edward said tersely. "You didn't."

There was a silence. I wasn't sure what to do. Sooner or later Jasper would return, and surely by then he would realise that I was, well, one hundred percent awake.

"I don't know why I did it." Edward said after a silence. "Don't. Enough of that Alice, we need to get moving anyway. I'll go east to search; I need to go before she wakes up. She'll be furious at me going alone." Now it sounded as if he was mumbling to himself, it was taking all my restraint not to let out a sigh of frustration. Every second it grew increasingly more difficult not to open my eyes.

_And grab him in an attempt to stop him leave._

That's it. My thoughts were definitely very awry at the moment.

Edward's stupid mind reading gift was also really getting on my nerves. I could only hear half the conversation. It was always the part you didn't want to hear, wasn't it? He sounded aggravated now. "Alice! _No_. This is her father's life we're talking about here. Do you seriously think…" But at that point, Edward came to a halt.

Because I had given up. The news of my father had me open my eyes wide. Only one sentence resonated in my mind now. _This is her father's life we're talking about here. _I was now staring at him in horror. An audible gasp escaping my lips. I think it was pretty obvious I was, in fact, _conscious _now.

Edward's expression flickered from the harsh scowl when he looked at me. The same desperate look in his eyes. I didn't know what to make of it. His tone when talking (well, _growling_) to Alice had been the same dark tone he'd used on Jasper. His words were ringing in my ears. _It was a mistake. This can't happen. _I fought back the stupid irrational feeling to cry. But soon didn't have to, my father's face appeared in my head again, dispelling all else.

"_What _about my dad?" My voice was shaking, in fact, my entire frame was shaking. I pulled free of Edward's grasp which had slackened. I didn't hide my glare as I stared at him. I didn't care I was grateful for his distraction last night. And I refused to let it change anything. I stared at Edward, stubborn and determined, waiting for answers. "Where is he?" My voice didn't waver in pitch like it had done previously. I was fed up of being weak.

"We're… not sure Lucie." Alice murmured in her high voice. I didn't even turn to her. Keeping my - now certainly a vivid emerald - eyes on Edward. I wanted an answer from him. _He _was the one I wanted to explain. I was sick of being left in the dark.

"We haven't searched yet." Edward deadpanned. There was no emotion in his tone now. He was refusing to look at me. The act of him averting his gaze sent a blow to my stomach. I felt winded and I didn't have a clue why.

"You're going alone." I stated bluntly. My mind could only conjure very stupid ways to prevent this. The main one involved grabbing his ankle. Somehow I doubt I'd be able to keep a hold on him. He replied in the same dead voice.

"Yes."

"_Don't_." I whispered, suddenly, he looked up at me sharply, an emotion close to fury lighting his eyes. I don't understand. The word 'don't' seemed harmless enough to me. And yet it looked as if I'd reminded him of something.

"I'll do what I want." He muttered in dark defiance and looked away again. Once more averting from looking at me. I felt Alice lightly place an arm around my shoulders; I didn't look at her, my eyes trained on Edward. He was stiff, I don't know how he'd got into a standing position in under three seconds, but he had. The tension in the air was tangible now; his white hands were balled fists at his sides.

"I need to leave."

"Why?" My voice felt like it was going to crack.

"_For the same reasons as Jasper_."

And then, he jumped swiftly through the open window.

***

It had taken me several long moments to fully understand what Jasper and Alice were doing. My first clue was Alice's failed attempt at distracting me. She began to talk to me about the possible whereabouts of my father, and how Carlisle was researching whether the Volturi had any reason to want him. Her voice held a certain amount of strain, tawny eyes flickering to Jasper every few sentences, as if unsure what to say. Unwilling to let too much slip. In reality, she needn't have put any effort in. The thing was, I _couldn't _listen.

My hands were entwined as I stood, still refusing to sit. The act made me feel worse though; sitting only increased my awareness of how I was doing _nothing_. My own pale fingers were twisted together to prevent the evident trembling. It was a pathetic, _weak _reaction from me. But as much as I wanted to decipher the enigma of who had taken my father, I couldn't dispel the panic that gripped me whenever I thought about Edward searching alone.

I'd had too many dreams, _nightmares _about how strong the Volturi were. How one of their coven - Alec I think - could cut off his senses, how he could burn people alive without them even realising it was happening. Without even knowing they were dying. The thought sent a shudder through me; Alice began rubbing soothing circles on my arm, trying to make me sit. _Rest _as she called it.

It was impossible to rest at the moment.

My mind constantly flitted back to Edward. The desperate look in his ochre eyes. The same eyes that yesterday had made me forget everything. Now they burned in my vision. I tried fruitlessly to focus on how to find my father, but each time my efforts were futile. Pitiable.

I hadn't realised I was sitting down now. That was odd. Alice had stopped taking to me too, (that was the second clue.) She was trilling to Jasper too fast for my weak human ears to catch. When I tried to listen harder however, I felt a tumult of fatigue. Yeah. Suspicious or what? That was the third and final clue.

I turned sharply snapping my eyes open (since when had they even been closed?!) and glaring at Jasper. He looked slightly sheepish. Alice gave a small, impatient, sigh. Muttering something I couldn't hear. I didn't try to catch it, keeping my eyes trained n Jasper, my expression murderous.

"Jasper. Don't. You. _Dare_."

I had finally understood what they were planning.

He gave me a small, apologetic look.

"Sorry Lucie, we can't have it any other way." Alice grinned impishly at me, her teeth tiny white pearls in the near darkness. I looked away from her. She'd probably resort to hypnotism.

What? Hypnotism _did _seem like a thing a deranged pixie would do in her spare time…next to shopping of course.

I shook my head crossly; maybe insanity was something Jasper caused. My wandering mind conjured up the oddest of thoughts. Jasper had a slight frown on his perfect face, his lips however, twitched slightly - as if suppressing a smile.

I didn't smile. I _glared _at him. Mentally preparing myself for what he was about to do, willing every fibre in my body to stay awake. Alert. Focused. My scowl remained fiercely on my face, but I averted my eyes from Jasper; for fear that in the contact his gift would somehow have greater affect. My eyes rested on Alice's face, I continued to glare. It was her after all, who'd probably been so adamant on Jasper's idea. They were a couple both planning my demise. Well not demise - maybe was exaggerating just a _little _bit - but they were planning to send me to sleep. Had Alice foreseen my protest?

Horror slowly sunk in when I realised that my restraint was waning, I felt my eyelids flicker despite my will.

"No!" I wanted to shout the protest, but the sound only my left my mouth in an indignant mumble.

The last thing I saw was a small wry smile form on Jasper's lips.

And then a pair of cool arms lifted me into oblivion.

***

"How much longer."

"Roughly six seconds,"

"Can she hear us yet?"

"I don't _think _so."

Saying that overhearing these voices confused me would have been an understated. I couldn't make out who it was yet, and, despite my attempts, my eyes remained glued shut. I wanted to scream. This was the _third _time I was overhearing something!

"Bet you anything she'll be angry!" See. _Now _there was no guessing needed for who that was. Only Emmett could get excited by me being angry. I could finally open my eyes and sighed wearily in the process. Sitting up dazedly, and wondering why he suspected I was going to be angry at all.

I think it took me approximately ten seconds to remember why I was here in the first place.

"Where is _Jasper_?…" I said in an ominous tone, turning to Alice. I hid my other thought. The one that was screaming a different name.

Alice beamed at me brightly before turning towards an open window as an answer. A line of bookcases were on each side of the wide window. It occurred to me I didn't actually know where I was. I didn't have time to work it out.

Sure enough, Jasper soon appeared outside the window, jumping through it too fast for me to see the arc of his flight. I frowned at him. On top of my annoyance that he'd just randomly sent me unconscious I was fed up. Vampires needed to have a lesson on using doors. Honestly, it was common etiquette. This whole leaping-through-the-window-just-because-they-can thing was getting on my nerves. My frown transformed into a something angrier…

Jasper didn't notice my death glare though; he had eyes only for Alice. It was almost as if they were the only two in the room now. Emmett and I became no more substantial than shadows. Jasper straightened up letting a small smile fall across his face, his honey blonde hair ruffled up by wind. She flew to him, in a graceful lope that would make a ballerina look uncoordinated. The next moment, She was standing on her tiptoes and gently - with a kind of affection rarely saw in today's society - she pushed a lock of hair out of his now butterscotch eyes.

"Missed you." She laughed in a peal of bells. Kissing him lightly on the cheek as he wrapped one arm around her miniscule waist. I looked away, my neck flushing. Their relationship, I decided, was odd, not in a bad way - just…complexly and _completely _unique. Despite the minimal contact I saw between them, I was forever feeling intrusive. It was like they had their own personal world. I was so determined on trying to give them some privacy that I forgot my annoyance at Jasper. It was Emmett who reminded me.

"Now Luce, that is a disappointment. I mean, I least expected _some _action from you If you don't start acting all crazy and angry like normally," I glowered at him and he just raised an eyebrow. Mouthing, _'what it's true!' _My glower strengthened as I stared stubbornly at his stupid perfectly raised eyebrow.

No. I still hadn't learned that talent. Despite the fact I was almost constantly with people who were very apt at doing it. I couldn't. It becoming was infuriating and now Emmett officially knew how to wind me up. Admittedly, it didn't take much. (One eyebrow and I was already close to livid.) He continued, perhaps seeing the mad glint in my eyes. "…Then, well, I'm going to lose the bet. And that would suck. So yeah, go unleash some anger on Jazzy-"

Alice suddenly had Emmett in a headlock. A shocked gasp left me.

"Did I mishear you dearest _Emmy_?" She said sweetly. He let out a disgruntled sigh.

"Just advising Luce to unleash her wrath on _Jasper _is all Alice." He said, instantly dropping the nickname. Alice let go of him smiling victoriously. I couldn't quite dispel the shock still etched on my features at her animalistic sudden attack. I made a mental note _never _to call Jasper 'Jazzy', somehow - if _I'd_been the one in the headlock - I don't think I would have faired so well.

I looked around the room, remembering that it was one I'd never seen before. The surface beneath me wasn't the usual soft plush I'd come to associate with the Cullens' ludicrously expensive sofas - instead it was harder, not comfortable at all actually. I stared down at it. Heck. Was I on a _doctor's _bed? The kind with the vinyl sheet (…wait I wasn't _ill_.) I looked down once more to check I wasn't in a gown. Thankfully I was still in my original clothes. They were dirty though, no doubt Alice would soon notice that.

"Hang on a sec, how the hell did get here?!" I exclaimed, standing up too quickly and then having to grip the edge of the medical bed for support. Emmett broke into a grin at my outburst, turning to Alice triumphantly. They were both leaning over me, waiting for me to awake.

"That's it. I've won. She even _swore _Alice! Luce never swears… this means she's mega angry." I glared at him, though I couldn't help noticing he was right. So what if I didn't swear? Vulgar language never helped anything… Oh crud. I sounded like an old lady. And crud. I kept thinking crud instead of a swearword. Ugh. I was almost glad for Emmett to interrupt my thoughts. "Oh, and you were carried here Luce."

"You carried me here?" I exclaimed in shock, I wasn't sure if I was more shocked or angry. I decided to settle on angry. Why not let Emmett get his money's worth? "While I was _unconscious_?" Jasper smiled easily.

"Well, technically, it was Alice who carried you." Now see, I really wanted to say something smartass back to Jasper. But my thoughts - as per usual - blurted out my lips before I could even think of something remotely intellectual to parry Jasper's technicalities.

"Alice?" My mind struggled with the concept of her tiny frame supporting my weight.

"I'm not _that _weak Lucie," Alice said disapproving of my scepticism. "You should know by now; size doesn't matter." She, it seemed, had decided I healthy enough. Lightly, she gave me a quick hug before dancing out the room with Jasper, murmuring something about grizzlies.

Emmett let out a moan.

"Damn," He muttered, "Alice is going to get the grizzly…" He looked at me, but I was busy staring at what I was still sat on sat on. Erratic thoughts kept popping up in my head.

It was _definitely _a doctor's table. I felt like a lab rat.

I wanted to get as far away from such a thing as possible. For some reason I had a vision of Carlisle strapping me to the thing and not letting me go... Demanding that some sort of brain sugary was necessary. Oh crud. I could only see Carlisle as a mad brain surgeon now. It was honestly scary.

"Oh God, that's it, I'm really going crazy aren't I?" I whined out loud, my voice was high again; hysteria was likely at this rate. I jumped off the table like it had electrocuted me.

"You're not going crazy Luce," Emmett said lightly, unperturbed at my very random outburst.

"I _am_," I whined, resisting pulling at my hair, that act would only induce my theory on being crazy. I looked back to Emmett, slightly surprised at his calm collected tone. "And how can you tell anyway?"

"Simple," He said gruffly, sitting up and placing my small hands in his large ones. "Crazy people don't know they're going crazy, crazy people are crazy when they think they're the ones who are sane." I stared at Emmett, moth agape. Was it just me, or did his words make perfect sense?

Rosalie danced into the room, still managing to look like a model despite her mechanical attire. Wait. Mechanical attire? I gawked at her - but my first assumption had been correct. She was wearing blue overalls, smeared with grease, her hair still managing to look effortlessly flawless.

Her eyes flickered from my hands, still held by Emmett's; I instantly blushed and felt embarrassed. Hoping she didn't assume anything by the notion. But she didn't scowl - or even, for that matter - show any signs of resentment towards me. I was glad. I didn't need my ego and self esteem to be shattered any further, just her glorious immortal presence had both of these in tatters. She'd obviously heard the last part of the conversation, eyeing up Emmett before turning to me with look of genuine perplexity.

"Jeesh Lucie, what did you do to make Emmett a philosopher?" Emmett gave a slight grin, letting go of my hands and slipping an arm around her waist. I blinked a few times; well aware of how stupid I looked.

"Well, I…told him I was crazy…"

***

I'd tried to relax in the shower. Though using the word 'tried' rather loosely I'll admit. The hot water had been, in all respects and purposes, perfect. Yet it had not undone the tight cords of tension that seemed to be pent up inside me. I'd let Alice chose clothes for me. Though I didn't look at them as I shrugged into them. Still slightly disconcerted at how Alice was so accurate on getting things that fit me. I was an awkward size. Too skinny by half, yet the jade top I now wore didn't bag at all, and this was the same for the dark jeans. Most of the time I approved of Alice's style. I didn't now. Looking at my reflection only left me grimacing. This top, like the last, had a drastically low hemline, exposing my too prominent collar bones. The dark colours contrasted too much with my pallor. Emphasising how white I looked.

My face was the same pallid complexion, damp hair tangled and the shadows under my eyes were more noticeable. An amethyst against cream. In my shock my face seemed paler than usual, though it wasn't the ethereal pale that made one look glorious like the Cullens. It was a sallow, unhealthy colour. I grimaced again. I hated looking at my reflection. Though my appearance rarely bothered me. I'd hate it if I was prettier; being pretty attracts attention. I drew my hair into a messy ponytail, glad that it could no longer fall into my eyes.

And after that. I had completely zoned out of it all. Time passed relentlessly slowly. I couldn't make sense of it. My distractions were depleting by each toll of the clock. I'd run out of things to stare at. And now my mind would revert back to the things I was trying to ignore. My answers to everyone were monosyllabic. And my only other interactions would be nodding and reassurances of 'I'm fine,' to everyone I spoke to. Now I was staring blankly at a plate of food someone had placed before me in the kitchen. I hadn't even realised I was situated here.

And then I heard a name that changed everything. For the briefest moment, my panic ceased.

"Edward! You are so _annoying_!" I stood up quickly, not giving my plate of food another glance. I practically sprinted down the hallway, and came to a dead halt when I saw him, hair ruffled, a look of uttermost concentration on his face as he stared at Alice.

It was probably my exhale of relief that had him look up. I knew I should have been angry at him for running off alone in the first place. But I couldn't quite summon that. Relief. Overwhelming and all encompassing relief flooded through me at seeing him whole and undamaged.

But when I looked at him closely, my relief turned short lived. Is eyes held a bitterness I couldn't place. He looked angry at himself, either that or angry at me. He spoke to the room (everyone was now around us) but his eyes remained fixed on me. Searching for something.

"I can't find him. I caught his scent though. It's not Victoria who has him." I didn't hear the rest. My knees felt weak, I lent against the banister of the stairs slightly. Afraid of falling. Edward shot me a look. It was the same shadowed look that I couldn't understand. For a split instant, I thought I saw longing. But it was gone. I'd probably imagined it.

He didn't look at me after that.

I was ignored by him. He went to talk to Carlisle, and spent the entire time in his study. Planning. Plotting. Doing things that I was too 'delicate' to hear.

I was being left in the dark.

***

Edward scowled.

I was sitting with Emmett in the sitting room. Not allowed to hear the 'discussions' that were going on. I was getting more and more frustrated at that. It was then that Edward had strode into the room, before seeing me, and, well… _scowling_.

"Don't Edward," I looked at him, speaking for the first time. Keeping my voice indifferent. Mirroring his treatment to me. His frown didn't waver, "you'll get frown lines."

"Excellent advice Luce," Emmett commented conversationally.

Edward didn't seem to find my comment amusing. Though when our eyes met I was surprised to not see the frustration I'd expected. I couldn't read the look in his eyes at all. The emotion that burned beneath the surface was too deep, too complex, for me to decipher. Jasper coughed slightly behind me then, and as I turned to him, Edward let out a low growl. I turned back only to see him stalking off in the direction of Carlisle's study. How very sociable. Jasper was hot on his heels, leaving only Emmett and I in the kitchen.

"Why is Edward acting so strange to Jasper?" I mused out loud. Trying to sound indifferent again. It was harder than before. The raised eyebrow on Emmett's face told me my attempt was futile. He didn't answer me. My voice became sceptical. "What, can't you tell me?" I questioned further, dropping the unconcerned act. It appeared my acting wasn't so good.

"Nuh-uh, not a thing" Emmett frowned slightly, "well, I can't say, else Edward would almost certainly castrate me," He gave me a meaningful look, "I'm afraid that just can't happen to me. I'm not taking any risks Luce." My mind had only processed one word in his speech.

"_Castrate _you?" I questioned him. He misunderstood my bewilderment, evidently under the delusion that I didn't know what castration was. _Oh no…_He continued in a matter of fact tone, still very serious. I didn't have time to interrupt fast enough.

"Castrate: the process of removing testicles from-"

"Enough!" I childishly covered my ears, "_Emmett_!" I whined at him as he grinned, "I do _know _what castration is! I just don't want to hear it." He continued to grin before raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

"You sure Luce? It's a pretty complicated process, I'm sure you don't know the specifics-"

"Emmett." A voice behind me scolded, "Please do not tell me that you're talking to Lucie about castration. She does _not _need to know details on the subject." I turned around to see Esme, looking the most motherly that I'd ever seen her. Hands on hips, frowning at Emmett disapprovingly. She let out a sigh, I had an odd feeling that events like this had happened before.

Emmett brought up strange topics. He left with a casual shrug, Esme rolled her eyes.

"How are you feeling Lucie?" Esme asked tentatively, I blinked at her, a mixture of surprise and gratitude warming me at kind words. Her face looked just as sincere, caramel waves framing a perfect face. In many ways, she was a lot like my mother when she was alive. I couldn't respond at first, my throat suddenly felt tight. I widened my eyes to prevent tears.

"Fine." I managed to say, forcing on a tight smile - I didn't want to seem so hostile towards Esme, she was all one could ask for in a mother. But she was suddenly too similar, despite the fact that (looks wise at least) she was not like my own mother at all.

I could tell she was about to say more, but suddenly, Jasper was next to her.

"Can I talk to you Lucie?" He asked. I frowned. Did people seriously need permission these days to start conversation? He noticed my frown, "Sorry, I can-"

"No, it's fine." I said. Trying to smile again, Esme gave me another warm look before saying something about helping Rosalie fix Emmett's jeep. I was left with Jasper. He smiled at me again, the same, almost nervous smile, before politely suggesting to go somewhere more private. I just nodded. Completely baffled.

We stopped in a room I'd never been in before. There were two seats in it. I felt like I was being put inder interrogation.

"I cannot alter your feelings Lucie," Jasper told me, I looked at him, confused by his words. "I'm empathic so to speak, I know what you're feeling, but I can't change that. Your emotions are different. With some effort I can manipulate and control those. I can make you tired, calm, happy, sad… but I can't for example make you any more willing to like you. Let's say you hated me, I couldn't just make you suddenly fond of me-"

"I don't hate you Jasper," I cut across him, he smiled easily, but I felt unsure all of a sudden. I'd probably seemed distant today, inwardly fighting and controlling my own thoughts. I hadn't meant to seem so hostile. "I don't I promise! I like you Jasper. Really like you... I mean, not how Alice does of course but-" He grinned slightly and how flustered I was getting.

"See, I made you experience _that_." He grinned, and I felt something like a weight lift off me, leaving me no longer flustered, but just as confused. I set my jaw crossly. I didn't like Jasper changing my emotions. They were hectic enough as it was. "Making someone flustered is an easy emotion. But listen, what I mean is I can change those. I can change small trivial things like that, but when it comes to the deeper, heartfelt feelings like abhorrence and love, I'm pretty useless."

He had become more serious now. I was honestly fascinated in what he was saying, though part of me dreaded where it was heading, I couldn't _stop _listening. Despite the fact that I'd seen Jasper's past, I'd never fully understood his power, it was more complex than I'd assumed. In some ways, far more powerful than I thought, and in others it was weak.

"In short, I cannot alter your feelings: for you cannot alter them yourself, despite if you wanted to. _Wished _to. You can't. People are ruled by emotions, but they can change them. If you were angry you would be able to calm yourself down, wouldn't you? Anger is an emotion, a complex emotion, but it's something that's changeable nonetheless.

"_Feelings _aren't like that. Take love, it is possibly _the _most complex feeling. If you're in love, you can't stop. You can fall out of love, but you can't stop on your own accord, despite whatever you desire. Love is unconditional, irrational, and utterly irrefutable. You're human Lucie. Everyone is human once. Despite the fact that my heart no longer beats, I am, ultimately human. I have the ability to make conscious thought. I have feelings just like you. And I can't change them. Because feelings lie bare in the uttermost detail of everything you said or thought; but the inner heart, whose workings are mysterious even to yourself, will always remain impregnable."

It was the longest speech I'd heard Jasper ever say. It left me astounded. I couldn't form words. My throat felt tight again. I hadn't missed the underlying message in his words. Was he really referring to Edward and I? I wasn't sure how to react to Jasper's words; in fact, I wasn't sure what I thought of them. I frowned slightly, coming to the conclusion that it was best not to dwell on them, they'd only leave me more confused than I already was. I could feel his light eyes watching me warily, trying to fit my reaction to my emotions.

"You know," I remarked lightly, prohibiting him from speaking any further, "you're sounding terribly George Orwell-esque Jasper." It was true. Did the Cullens constantly like to quote people? His brows furrowed as he frowned at me for the slightest second, before letting an easy grin spread over his handsome features. I felt a wash of content pass through me in the smile.

"I presume you read a lot?" Jasper questioned, I nodded, and then - in remembering the last time I'd held a book - blushed furiously. The memory brought up only one connotation. Of a certain person I was trying to forget about. I focused on the Cullens' immaculate floor, but the blush was still staining my cheeks. Jasper either saw this (my stupidly obviously blush) or felt the sudden change in emotions. Knowing him, it was probably both.

He raised an eyebrow, bemused.

But before he could question me further, Carlisle was beside us. I looked up at him, slightly dazed. Vampires moved _much _too fast. The moment Carlisle entered, Jasper left. I stared at rhe place Jasper had been only seconds previously in bewilderment. It was as if everyone had an allocated time for-talking-to-Lucie today. My mind couldn't block the thought of everyone having little timetables with appointments on.

"Lucie?" Carlisle said, reminding me that he was in the room and looking down at me with inquisitive honey gold eyes.

"Mhmmm…" Was my response. My mind was whirring over Jasper's words still.

"Do you mind if I talk to you about your mother?" He said hesitantly. I couldn't control the flash of fear that arose in my eyes, my chest constricted even at the mention of her. The same tight sensation in my throat appeared like when I'd been talking to Esme. I felt slightly sick.

"Uh, yeah, sure…" I mumbled quietly, he sat down on the opposite chair, gesturing for me to do the same. In truth, I had no intention of talking about my mother. Thinking about her was painful enough. I concentrated on the sound the wind made against the windows, and began counting how many books I recognised. 2, 6, 12...the rest were on medicine and historical records.

I knew what I was doing, and Carlisle seemed to as well. But even as he spoke I tried not to concentrate on his words. I wanted to postpone any thoughts on her for as long as possible.

"Listen, I've tried to understand the Volturi's motive for possibly taking your father, and I can only come up with one solution. You. I know you're going to deny this Lucie, but you _are _important. Aro is the leader of the Volturi, he seeks out-"

"I know," I cut across him. Nausea kept twisting my stomach at the thought of them. I needed someone else to interrupt. And fast. Carlisle didn't seem to mind my interruption; he nodded, continuing with his speech.

"Now Lucie, you're power is something that Aro would love to control. You're only human now. Gifts intensify during the change of a human into a vampire - not that we have any intention of letting that happen," he added quickly. "We'll keep you safe. But it's this; you're _gift _that is almost certainly the reason for Aro wanting you. No human has ever had something puissant enough _as a human. _And now you have. Aro sees your potential."

I shook my head. I hate the reverence to his tone. I wasn't _special_. My gift wasn't powerful. It was erratic, impetuous. I had no control over it and it only left me drained, both physically and mentally. It could hardly be classified as a gift at all. A hindrance? Yes. A curse? Yes. A power? _Gift_? No. Carlisle wasn't looking at me now. His eyes were fixed on the wall behind my head, as if unwilling to meet my gaze when he said his next words.

"That's not all of course…" I looked up, unwilling for what knowledge he was about to give me. My head was filled enough as it was. "Edward told me," I cringed visibly at his name; Carlisle thankfully was still staring away from me. "That you're mother could be involved…it's the reason I wanted to talk to you. I have a theory… and your mother is at the epicentre of it all."

I nodded. My mouth was dry.

"The thing is Lucie; I've researched your family. It's what I've been focusing on really. And your mother's records… well… they're _blank_." He looked at me, a slight crease in his ivory forehead. "And in finding this," he continued, sweeping his blonde hair slightly, "I've come to the conclusion that _you _specifically - that is, your power inside you - aren't the only reason for the Volturi wanting you. Your mother might-"

But he stopped mid-sentence. Staring at me worriedly.

"Are you quite alright, Lucie?" His voice was alarmed.

"I-I'm fine…" I said again, but my voice trembled. I didn't know why the Volturi wanted me. But the word _Ragnarök _came to mind when I thought of that. Demetri had mentioned something about needing my blood as a sacrifice. I couldn't think longer on that though, a memory reverberating around my mind banished it.

_I could see someone now, off in the distance, her hair ash blonde whipping ferociously round her face. Bright eyes flashing in the all encompassing darkness. The shrouded figures had halted at her re-appearance._

_Her voice rang clearly again through the trees; more urgent this time. The last word rang shrill in my ears. Desperate of my seeming denial to the danger around me. I knew the word before it had left my mother's lips. It was the same advice she'd given last time. The one I didn't act on._

"Run_."_

I saw Carlisle check my temperature by lightly pressing his palm to my forehead, but I couldn't move.

My head was pounding again, now the nausea kept coming in stronger and stronger waves. It was a stupid _irrational _reaction. But I couldn't help it. The cold touch to my forehead mixed up with the mention of the person that - for two years - I'd tried to forget about, sent tumults of fear through me. It was a fear I'd never experienced before this moment, one tainted with a hidden nostalgia at what I'd lost.

Carlisle had noticed. His eyes adopted a look only doctor's could portray. Expertise and concern flashed across his youthful features. He'd understood what he'd caused by checking my temperature; he gripped my back in an attempt to prevent me from falling

But it was already too late.

***

**Mhhmmms...?**

**Um. My thought are that Jasper thinks too much. If the whole feelings/emotions conversation confused you. Well. Let's just say you're not alone with that. If - by some miracle - you **_**did **_**understand all of Jasper's crypticness… then you're a genius. **

**Not MUCH of a cliffy. Ugh. I'm cross. This chapter turned out MUCH longer than I expected… I've had to split it into two… sorry if the plot seems to be moving along slowly. Next chapter is better I promise! (Mainly because there is more of EDWARD in it. I had to prevent myself from writing about him here. His hostility IS intentional. You'll see why next chappy :p) **

**I bet you all hate Edward right now huh? Well… hopefully he'll redeem himself. I seriously LOVE writing about Edward. Everything's just so much more flowy with him :p AND next chapter the pace will pick up. GAH apologies if this is seeming drawn out. Sorry! **

**Also, may I point out (and now the whole mention at the start of this might actually make sense…. Or maybe not… :p) that MOUSE HAS BEEN MY MUSE for this chappy! And I think I'm already besotted with that phrase. I reckon mouse is the **_**ultimate **_**muse. Jeeesh. (It's even **_**alliteration**_**. My English teacher'd approve… she's obsessed with alliteration. It's honestly scaring me.) How was Mouse (who is a girl cat people. A **_**girl **_**cat. Many people seem to think mouse is a male. Nope…darn.... Then it could have been **_**Male Muse Mouse**_**…What the heck am I talking about?! *suddenly shuts up sheepishly*… oohh **_**sibilance… **_**See? It's **_**engraved **_**in my head now. *grunts*) oh-so-very-inspirational you ask? **

**Well, I don't know really… I was just staring at her and muttering about how much of a hindrance ****she was being by **_**lying across my arms **_**as I typed… and then: BAM! Goes the whole epiphany-style-inspiration-explosion. Seriously… this chapter was killing me. One of the main reasons why I didn't update (besides being ludicrously busy) was literally because I **_**couldn't **_**write. I was just zapped. Yup. ZAPPED of ideas… and then, well, I looked at the lethargic Mouse and suddenly had too many ideas. ;) **

**Again. I don't like this chapter. And I wouldn't be surprised if no one reviews it (which _would_ kinda suck :s) but don't be afraid to say if it's bad. I can always improve. And again: Mouse. Is. To. Blame.**

**Now. Depending on how motivated I become… there is a possibility that I will update this weekend :p (as an apology for the 12 days you had to wait for this…) Again, I'm **_**really **_**sorry for how late this is. I will update this story regardless of how many reviews I get (don't get me wrong here. I freakin' LOVE reviews. But if I get none… I'll still update. I write for my own enjoyment mostly. It's a miracle you lot can actually stand my writing, let alone want **_**more **_**of it! :p) **

**Now. (I only just realised how much I say: 'now' to get people's attention. Gosh. I'm so repetitive..) If I was smart, I would have saved this update for the weekend. Thing is. The GUILT GOT TO ME… and, I'm not smart. So basically, I updated in a weird late-but-earlier-than-planned way… what can I say? Basically, I'm not smart, guilt ridden… and just a very impatient person.**

**Again. Don't kill me. WHO would feed Mouse?**

**Oh and Remember Ze Challenge! Give me an awesome word. Heck, I might even include it in the chapter if you'd like. Or send a sneaky peaky? Ooohh! That's what I'll do… the best word receives a sneaky peaky. There. That's an offer you can't refuse.**

**Lily - who will personally fax out super apologetic nelephants (they're twice the size of your average apologetic nelephant.) for how late this update is.**


	35. The Potent Presage

**Heyyyzzz (*gasp* is that some Zs on the end of the average greeting?! **_**What'sgotintome**_**?!)**

**Yes. This update is **_**horrendously **_**late. And GAH! I'm so sorry I didn't give out many sneak peaks. I concentrated on updating… (because, well, which is better, a sneaky peaky or an update?) but. **_**Because **_**I am officially awful and didn't reply to all the reviews or give out well deserved sneak peaks… you hereby have full permission to stab me with pencils. And even more so because... heck, I think you're going to HATE this chapter. Arrrffff! (Yeah, 'Arrrfff' is now my new way of showing distress)**

***hides in preparation **_**of **_**said stabby sharpened pencils* **

**But in hindsight, you're actually lucky, because right now I should have completed **_**all **_**of my French Coursework and English Essay. But no. Being the… smart person that I am, I left them… till the last minute to complete. I'm STILL postponing them in order to update and will probably finish them by around… 3am *shudders* Yup. So I'm endangering my health by updating instead of sleeping! *and I apologises for typos in this chapter, I'll edit them when I have the time. But if I edited this now then I'd never end up updating tonight. And thanks for pointing out previous grammatical errors. Believe me or not, but I DO know the difference between 'your' and 'you're' I just type too quickly and don't edit my work. I know. Bad! (hits head)***

**But I **_**am **_**very sorry (apologies galore today…) for the late update, if you think it's because Hedgehog and I are having some sort of ongoing feud… well no. It's not that. I've just had a busy week. But hey! That blasted Biology exam has finally passed, so I can now type up chapters without a nagging voice in my head muttering: …**_**youreallyshouldberevisingyouknow…. **_**Because if there's one thing I hate more than people who plot to steel my rubber ducks, it's REVISION. Pah. Anyway. All done and dusted now. Huzzah! (Yes. I love that word. Speaking of words… wow. Huzzah was actually used in a review if I recall correctly. It's made of fantabulosity. And before you ask, no, fanabulosity is not a word, but hey, neither is mirthility, and that really SHOULD be a word :p) **

**REVIEWS?! 909?! Holey Moley Baloney! (You can thank Jade for that phrase. Fantabulous huh?) I'm all hyped up. SO darn close to 1000... Okay, 91 reviews away (which is a LOT) but still… that's not **_**that **_**much in comparison to how unlikely my expectations for this fic ever were. I don't think this chapter will get that many reviews… and definitely not 91 (the chances are about… well… they're very small :p) but heck, a girl can dream (unless she's me, because she won't have TIME to dream with the ridiculous amount of work she gets set. *grumbles incoherently*) **

**Oh! And I need to applaud you all! I'm thrilled to hear that the phrase 'nelephant' has cropped up in people's lives. I never expected you to all pick up on that phrase, I just assumed you'd think I was crazy… :s (You still do, don't you? :p)**

**That's it. I'll shut up temporarily, go read! **

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

"Run_."_

I saw Carlisle check my temperature by lightly pressing his palm to my forehead, but I couldn't move.

My head was pounding again, now the nausea kept coming in stronger and stronger waves. It was a stupid _irrational _reaction. But I couldn't help it. The cold touch to my forehead mixed up with the mention of the person that - for two years - I'd tried to forget about, sent tumults of fear through me. It was a fear I'd never experienced before this moment, one tainted with a hidden nostalgia at what I'd lost.

Carlisle had noticed. His eyes adopted a look only doctor's could portray. Expertise and concern flashed across his youthful features. He'd understood what he'd caused by checking my temperature; he gripped my back in an attempt to prevent me from falling

But it was already too late.

**The Potent Presage.**

***

_The darkness around me was too dense. Impenetrable. It wasn't normally like this. Normally I could see where I was. Normally I'd been in a clearing. Normally I wouldn't be alone._

This _wasn't normal._

_Slowly, a light peaked over the distant horizon. An odd colour - violet, it was almost too vivid, remaining burning in my retinas when I covered my eyes. There was another light in the distant. A pure, white light. I didn't understand the prickle of unease that shot through me at the sight of it. The figure drew closer. I watched his movements, they were supple - _graceful_._

_Terror froze me. I was afraid to move, afraid to shout, afraid to breathe. I wasn't sure whether the figure had noted my presence yet, or whether I was still safe where I stood - terror struck. I decided that I couldn't be safe. Generally, when one was safe they _felt _safe. I most certainly did not feel safe. He smiled slowly at me. I knew who he was: Alec. _

_Alec looked as though he was unsure whether to approach me, shrouded in a cloak that made him no more substantial than shadow. He took one graceful step closer, before stopping. Cocking his head curiously to one side, a sly grin pulling his lips open wide. I could see his teeth even from here - white pearls, stained with an unmistakable liquid. Blood. _

_And then my father stepped out from the trees. _

_I wanted to scream at him, to leave, run to him and shove him back into the forest. But I couldn't. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. _

_I was trapped. And so was he._

_Alec grinned._

_He averted his original route towards me, now moving to my father. My father continued to stare at me in shock, not noticing Alec. I fought furiously at invisible bounds, trying to run to him. Alec was next to my father now, his expression was one of malice. My father's eyes didn't stray from my face. _

I _felt (despite the fact that it wasn't my skin who he touched) the warm rush of liquid - the same liquid I knew was too potent - ooze out of the fine line he'd scraped across my father's skin. My father was mouthing something to me, seemingly oblivious to the mutation he was undergoing. He couldn't see the figure. He couldn't see anything. But I knew he could feel something was wrong. The horror on his face proved as much. I didn't even scream - though now the lump that had been prohibiting speech had vanished. I couldn't. I was too terrified for that. My throat had the texture of sandpaper, coarse and dry._

_One single, dark sanguine drop fell to the earth. It fell for what seemed like an eternity, the impact of it hitting the ground somehow made the terror my situation more real, the fear eating away at me was now almost palpable. _

_Alec looked at me, frowning in concentration. Before lunging for my father's throat. I heard myself scream as if from far away, it ricocheted through the clearing as tears fell relentlessly down my numb cheeks. Alec gave no look of pity. He was intent on his prey, sucking my father lifeless. I felt myself contact with hard ground, felt my eyes roll back into my head. I saw one thing before it was over._

_It was a woman. Dressed in a dress paler than the moon. She threw Alec off my father's body. I felt another cry escape me, begging her to turn - to look at me. I needed to see her face. I needed to know who she was. She turned round at my silent request, her eyes two emerald lights set in a pale face._

_But before I could make out who she was, she had vanished into the compressing darkness. And I was left alone, with only the howling wind to keep me company._

_And then, all of my senses went black._

***

I awoke with a sound too audible to be considered as a gasp, though whether my sparse breath was due to the sight before me or the dream I'd just witnessed was hazy to me. In fact, _everything _was hazy, I couldn't yet determine where I was; still gripped by a strong feeling of inertia.

I've been in a few situations like this. Ones in which I've found Edward's face inches away from my own, his alluring scent washing over me, ice marble figure pressed up to my trembling one, and dark eyes staring at me. Each of these times: I've blushed; my heart rate has risen; I've lost coherency in thoughts; or developed a speech impediment. Or all of them - commonly all of them actually.

And yes, now was no exception.

I didn't know what I expected as I lay there, still paralysed in the petrified state my dream had left me in. The metallic taste still fresh on my tongue, with goose bumps prickling my skin. And unsure whether I had screamed in both the dream and reality. I wasn't crying to my relief. I'd awoken with dry cheeks.

But judging from the last time this had happened, part of me expected comfort from him. I sidetracked from my initial thought of him comforting me. A torrent of forbidden images ensued; I pushed it away abruptly, mentally scolding myself. _Get a grip_.

Still, the fact that Edward had probably witnessed what I'd seen meant that I thought some comfort would have been given. Soothing words perhaps; assurances that I was safe; that my father would be safe. At least _something _to save me from the inner turmoil that was raging inside me.

What I wasn't expecting was his eyes to harden as my own regained focus, nor did I anticipate his expression. One contorted in what can only be described as contempt. My reaction was slow. I felt the blood from my previous blush drain out of my cheeks, returning them to their sallow pallor. My paralysed body shook slightly without warning. I sat up as quickly as I could; expecting to see others around me, remembering Carlisle's concerned face and light eyes.

But Carlisle wasn't here. It was just him. And _his _onyx eyes - too dark I noted - portrayed far from comfort or concern. The contempt slid into incredulity as I ran a hand through my hair redoing the ponytail to keep it from falling across my eyes. It was a notion I'd tried to appear as casual, though I knew he could feel my struggle with the simple movement. I couldn't coordinate properly. It was an effort to quell the shakes.

Slowly, I let out a shallow breath.

And it seemed that was all it took to set him off.

"That wasn't the first like that was it?" His voice was like steel, it wasn't a question. Shock must have been plain on my face at his harsh tone. Maybe he hadn't seen what I had. Perhaps he'd arrived too late to realise why it was so hard for me to reply to him (it had been over a minute now since he'd spoken.) My chapped lips seemed to have forgotten how to move.

"I-I… don't know what you mean." I fought inexorably to block the image of my father dead… _lifeless_.

Edward didn't seem to notice that I was about a second away from breaking.

"Your dream." Short, clipped words. I fought back the stinging sensation in my eyes. _I must not cry._ "How many times has the Volturi been in them?" So he _had _seen.

"Lots." I didn't like this; I wanted to forget my dreams. I didn't want to recite them to him.

"How many times." He repeated, his lips pursed.

I didn't answer. I couldn't think of how many times they had plagued my nights. Of how many times they had left me restless and scared. Edward let out a frustrated sigh. "That was your mother wasn't it? The woman at the end." My throat became tight, he carried on - now even more persistently, "It was, wasn't it? The one in the dress. Can't you-"

"Stop it Edward," I snapped at him, "Stop treating me a child." I couldn't think of her now. I didn't want a relapse of before. Every time I thought of my mother the nostalgia that arose was so intense that it made me feel sick. Edward's words brought me sharply back into focus.

"What else are you?"

His words withheld a tense scepticism. I stood up forcefully, ignoring the dizzy sensation that automatically followed the movement. Almost instinctively (involuntarily, it seemed) Edward's arm shot forward to steady me. The same spark flitted at the brief contact. He relinquished it seconds after, confusion plain in his eyes. My voice was louder than I'd anticipated when I spoke.

"I'm _seventeen_. I've just relived another flipping nightmare or portent filled 'vision' my father was _dead _in it. Alec killed him-" I could sense he was about to interrupt me, a feeling of vindictive satisfaction filled me at the shock in his eyes about my father, "and _I am fed up of your attitude_." I regretted my last words, I sounded alike to that of a parent dealing with an angst-ridden teenager. I looked back to Edward. The similarity of the predicament was shocking.

"No, your right. You're not a child," He said quietly, almost tiredly, as if he regretted his words. "But you're callow - inexperienced when it comes to things like this Lucie. We can't just go waltzing along to the Volturi, even if your dream _does _hold some relation-"

"I never," I said with a muffled force, "mentioned anything about 'waltzing along to the Volturi,' thank you very much. You appear to be mistaken on that front. Either that - or your talking to someone who isn't me. Maybe Alice in disguise."

"You're drivelling," Edward commented dryly.

"I am not drivelling." I said with dignity, knowing full well that I _was_. And that I was becoming more petulant by the second. I couldn't help it. This all arrogance and angst-ridden Edward wasn annoying the hell out of me. Alice appeared suddenly, I had a strange feeling that she had been eavesdropping.

"What's all this about me being in disguise?" She said lightly, her intent on breaking the tension was as obvious as Edward's steadily depleting mood. It failed miserably.

"I was saying how Lucie couldn't just waltz off to the Volturi-" I opened my mouth, fuming, but he carried on before I could protest. "She didn't strictly use that terminology…" Alice gave a delicate snort. I heard something that sounded distinctly like _"but she was about to." muttered under his breath superciliously._

I didn't even bother to argue with him. My head felt dense, the dull ache was back. Alice was doing a curious hopping motion from foot to foot impatiently (like small children did when they needed to use the toilet.) _That _didn't look normal. The thought made my lips have a slight twitch. The word 'normal' simply didn't apply to Alice, whatever the circumstances. Still, despite the oddness of it, she still mannered to look effortlessly graceful. I raised my eyebrows at her, but she didn't seem to see me. I soon realised that the hopping motion had been one of impatience, she was waiting to speak.

"We might not need to search for the Volturi…"

Edward's head whipped round to hers faster than a bullet, suddenly alert. We spoke in unison.

"What do you mean?"

Her eyes flickered to me before she let out a breath.

"Well… I just had another vision."

***

I hadn't been able to follow their conversation. The pace of it was too fast. Though even the minimal amount of information that I managed to procure from it scared me. Alice had had another vision, one in which the Volturi had ransacked my house. Despite this, she believed that it wasn't them who had taken my father - apparently he'd not been in a vision for days now. I didn't understand Alice's gift, it seemed as though she could scour through the future and search for information. She could pinpoint visits of the Denali clan, she could estimate with uttermost precision as to what could happen the next day.

If she could do all that, then why couldn't she see _my _future?

I hadn't asked her this. I felt sick. Resulting to sitting with Jasper most of the time. We didn't talk whilst we sat next to each other, but just being with him was enough. He radiated a sense of calm through me, but it wasn't like his normal infuriating calm that you got angry about because you couldn't dispel it. It was a different kind - more like a sedative to numb the pain that kept hitting me. I could tell he knew how I felt; I couldn't hide it from Jasper. Though I intended to hide it from the others as long as possible.

"Lucie?" The sound of my name broke me out of my train of thought; I focused properly for the first time in two whole hours. I must have been out of it; I was unable to detect who had spoken.

I was more than shocked to see Rosalie beside me instead of Jasper.

"Hmm?" I mumbled, unable to string a coherent sentence together.

"Listen," She gave me a long look before continuing. An assessing one. As if she was unsure whether she should tell me whatever she intended or not. When she did continue, she did something I often found that people (vampires in particular) did when they were agitated - she spoke very quickly. I had to strain my ears to hear what she was saying. "I've been talking with Edward… and, well, I shouldn't even be saying this really… but Edward and I aren't really on good terms at the minute anyway so I might as well."

I looked at her, completely bemused. Her lip curled in what I took to be a smile. I liked Rosalie, despite her overwhelmingly (and intimidating) gorgeous persona, she wasn't just a cold hearted person who revelled in other's discomfort. I knew this much - somehow, she liked me - and I didn't care whether it was because I was too abnormal to act as sufficient competition for attention that she craved. Or not attractive enough to arise jealously because if Rosalie liked me then life would be considerably easier than if the feeling was opposite.

It was almost as if she could read my thoughts, she backtracked slightly.

"Look, I like you Lucie, and to be perfectly honest - I'm not sure why. I think it's because you can bring out a side of Edward that the rest of us can't. Bella was the point to his existence a few weeks ago, and since he's met her, he's never been the same since. I don't expect you to understand what I'm saying Lucie," She gave a grimace, impossibly her beauty still overpowered mine even in the normally highly unattractive expression, I shifted slightly where I sat. She let out a small sigh, lowering her voice slightly and looking over her shoulder. "Edward does not in a good mood right now," She whispered, "keep that in mind. Please… despite what _he _thinks I do care about him, and for him to be content you're just going to have tolerate how he acts…"

Rosalie trailed off her rushed talk, it was probably a good thing. I had officially not understood a _word _of what she had been trying to tell me.

It had not occurred d to me at first, _why _she stopped talking though. Gingerly, (and with a sinking feeling how very slow on the uptake I was) I looked over my shoulder.

He stood there - well, _leant _stiffly - scowling in the doorway. Staring from me to Rosalie. The look on his face was as clear crystal: disapproval.

"Lucie," I could sense the strain in my name as he spoke it, "I need to talk to you."

I didn't have time to reply before Rosalie left the room, her blonde hair falling in front of her perfect face and consequently shielding what her expression was. Edward remained in the door way. He was too still - tension was already in the air between us. I stood up quickly, walking towards him and wondering what he wanted to say. Our last conversation hadn't exactly ended on a happy note.

I was taken aback by his words. Taken aback at first. The second feeling that arose was the same irrational annoyance at his tone. _Formal_. Ugh.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine." I deadpanned. It was my response to everyone's concern today and besides, I there wasn't much else I could say in response.

_Oh yeah, I'm morbidly depressed because my father's either dead or in the clutches of some sadistic vampire. Also, I have no idea why the hell my mum keeps appearing in my dreams and I'm getting increasingly infuriated by your stupid formal tone. So, on the whole, I'm brilliant. Just brilliant. _

Edward's sarcastic reply _really _didn't improve my mood.

"Oh, good. I'd hate to think you've deviated from fine."

I scowled at him.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Got a problem with that?" I mumbled, keeping my eyes firmly on the floor.

"_Fine_." He mocked in aggravation, "Define please: what _fine _is, Lucie?"

"Just… go Edward. I can't deal with this, not now." I mumbled, placing my head in my hands, trying to stop it from splitting open. More images of pale faces (considerably more sinister than those of the Cullens) were flitting behind my eyes.

"You're right. I should go." His voice was dead again. I a sudden felt panic seize me. He continued, now looking past my shoulder into nothing, his eyes adopting the same glassy look. "Your father's not going to come back on his own, is he? Maybe I should go to The Volturi," his face held the ghost of a smile, "though I'm not too keen on the waltzing part."

"No," My voice was quiet, "I didn't mean - I'm just… upset."

And then, for that slightest moment in which he hesitated - I saw his confidence and angst that had been so potent previously - falter. His shadowed eyes met mine, and not for the first time, I forgot the rage. Because in that brief glance I saw something in his eyes the same crazed desperation that I didn't understand. The same passion smouldering beneath the surface. I no longer knew what to think.

He gave himself a slight shake. It was something; I thought absently, that _men _did. A male sort of movement often accompanied with a manly cough. The look had vanished as quickly as it had come. He looked at me in the eye fully. I had an odd feeling of exposure fall over me. His voice was a deadly calm as he fired a question that I had not expected.

"Why didn't you tell me about Demetri?"

Oh crud.

"… What?" _Perhaps feigning innocence would work?_

"Don't act ignorant Lucie," _Okay, evidently not… _"I've been talking with Alice. And her visions comply of you and _him_," I didn't need to ask who, the disgust told it all, _Demetri, _"in her most recent vision he said - and I quote: 'you were foolish not to tell them.' By 'them' I'm pretty sure he meant _us _Lucie. And I thought about this, fair enough if you didn't tell me or Alice because he'd said things to you in your dreams. Dreams are unreliable (despite yours having tendencies to be more so than others) I can understand that. But _what _did he tell you in the clearing? And more importantly," He stepped closer to me, raising his voice, "why the hell didn't you tell me what he said?!"

"I-I couldn't…" I sputtered, unable to form an argument.

"He threatened you, didn't he? Demetri from the elite Volturi guard, the most well known and powerful tracker in the world Lucie _threatened _you, and you thought it best to keep this from me, did you?"

His nostrils were flaring, eyes a flat coal. Instead of spluttering this time, or cowering in fright, or apologising I glared at him. _How dare he?! _I didn't tell him all this for precisely this point - his reaction. Edward was predicable. I _knew _this was what was going to happen.

But the part that bothered me, _infuriated _me, was his lack of contradiction. Not an ounce of blame was placed on himself, and he did the opposite from trying to change that situation, instead putting the blame on my shoulders. I didn't care if his words held some sort of hidden care, or if I was supposed to read in between the lines. I was too tired for that. If Edward was entitles to be mad, then heck, so was I.

"And Edward?! How am I _meant _to react to that? Yeah he _did _threaten me. And I _knew _you'd have this response. You can't go, please. It won't resolve anything-"

"Lucie," He hissed, "_why _didn't you tell me sooner?" but he stopped me before I could protest against his words, punching the bridge of his nose in frustration. His hands were fists again, the tendons sticking out, I half expected him to pace.

He didn't. He just stood there, staring at me - his face contorted in disbelief and disappointment. The look irked me. I was angry. And I was even angrier that I wasn't angry because of _him_. Instead, I was angry at _myself_. And I was angry at myself for simple reason of expecting to gain comfort from him. Something was hurting, a dull ache in my chest. I ignored it. To think I'd assumed he'd even _understand _my situation…

"_I could have stopped this..." _He muttered crossly, raking a hand through his hair almost violently. I refused to let the notion distract me.

"Stopped what Edward?" I seethed, glaring at him incredulously, for the first time, actually angry at him. I welcomed that as apposed to being angry at myself. It was ridiculous hat he always assumed he could change everything. Alice's words rang in my ears, I found myself mentally agreeing with them. _"What makes you think you should change it? …Everything happens for a reason." _

However, once I remembered the context Alice had put those words to I suddenly found that my stomach was churning. I shook my head slightly, abandoning the thought. I was abruptly snapped back to the present with an exceptional clarity. Edward's nostrils were flaring, and my previous irritation swelled once again.

"Stopped _what_?" I repeated - almost spitting at him. He glowered at me, and it struck me for the first time how _dark _his eyes were. _He hasn't hunted in awhile._ The thought hadn't crossed my mind before this point, but now I wondered how much control he had.

The realisation for his thirst had silenced me momentarily. Edward's mood: the anger, the frustration… could it all be due to his thirst? Even if it was, it seemed a pathetic excuse for being so unpleasant. I didn't understand how he drew out such emotions from me. Before I'd met him I'd never spoken out of line, I wasn't one to argue, to cry, to show any emotion at all really. When I was with him, everything flooded out. And I didn't seem to have a filter for the feelings that even _I _didn't understand. Jasper's words - eerily poetic, rang in my mind again.

"_I cannot alter your feelings: for you cannot alter them yourself, despite if you wanted to. _Wished _to. You can't." _They made sense now. I couldn't alter what I felt. But everything was made more confusing by the fact that I didn't even _understand _my feelings. I frowned. I really had to stop the whole reminiscence thing with Jasper and Alice's cryptic little speeches.

I looked at Edward; he didn't return my gaze, his jaw taut glaring at some point on the wall behind me. _He couldn't even look at me._ The pent up frustration was practically palpable now. I hadn't realised it hadn't only been I who was silent. When he spoke, his voice was bitter, the tone still curt, it told me that the conversation was over.

"If you'd told me you're father would be safe by now."

All the breath left me.

Because he had just said the thing I'd been preventing to even consider. The thing I'd never have expected him to say. And the very thing I had feared myself. Guilt hit me with the force of an impeding truck, winding me. Edward's face flickered from the callous mask when he looked back to me. Genuine concern now in his eyes, despite their blackness.

He looked appalled at what he'd done; I could see his lips move in what I knew would be apologies. I couldn't hear them. Everything was deaf to my ears. I knew his concern wasn't fake.

But I didn't care.

I ran from him, wrenching myself away, sprinting down the corridor, no longer caring for the noise I was making. I didn't know where to go. I just knew I had to run. I could feel the pressure impounding me, it was too strong now - the urge to burst into tears. I felt like I was being suffocated, drowned. Cold air stung my face as I ran down the seemingly endless corridor. I knew there was no point in venturing outside.

But even with each step, the truth was slowly eating away at me. Because Edward was _right_. I knew he was.

Because ifI had told them about my dreams, if I'd _tried _to decipher what they'd meant, then I'd of realised this would have happened. I would have understood that the Volturi would hit me where I was weakest. If I'd not spent so much time trying to _forget _the dreams, I could have stopped _all _of this…

The truth sank deep into my heart like an ice shard, freezing my blood and stopping my sparse breath.

_If my father died it would all be my fault…_

_***_

It was odd, I thought whilst watching Carlisle and Esme, how a pair of people could manage to have an entire conversation with their eyes alone, and somehow understand everything the other person was attempting to convey. This was exactly what they were doing I thought, as I watched their movements, oddly intrigued. Their eyes would continue flicker from each other, to myself, and then back again in an erratic pattern that I knew withheld _some _sort of meaning…

But I couldn't work it out.

They had been talking earlier, but had stopped abruptly after they'd noticed I was listening intently. Edward had gone to hunt; I'd already been assured several times by Esme that his behaviour was because he hadn't fed in a while, with these words backed up by Carlisle's medical evidence to support it. They needn't have stopped talking though - by this time I'd stopped listening. I couldn't shake off the feeling that they were _apologising _for him. And they didn't need to.

I lay my head lightly across my arms again, pondering whether I should close my eyes - though I wasn't tired. I decided against closing my eyes, unwilling to face the blackness - instead gazing blankly at the landscape beyond the wide windows. Their conversation was still going on; maybe it was another thing to add to the seemingly endless list of _vampire talents -_ talents, incidentally, that I was unable to perform.

Again, I could feel their eyes flickering back to me again, and so I let out a small yawn for effect, angling myself so they couldn't see my expression. I wanted to create the illusion that I was sleepy, but truly I wasn't. Being tired generally entitled me to rest. And rest meant that I didn't have to be put under interrogation again.

This was a way in which I could avoid any further questions from Carlisle - though now I doubted he'd take the risk. Not with my unanticipated reaction minutes prior. _Fainting_. Again. I felt bitter at that thought. It was like I was the weak heroine of some messed up story. Though it wasn't this that made me shield my expression. It wasn't just because I didn't want to answer questions.

The only real reason for my actions was that there was a lead ache in my chest that would throb whenever I looked at Carlisle and Esme like that.

They looked alive in each other's gaze, content and whole. I felt the opposite. The hollow sensation was back. The numbness hit me again; it was like a tsunami, threatening to destroy anything and everything in its wake.

_Pathetic_.

"Are you okay Lucie?" Esme asked, I wasn't sure how long it took for me to answer.

"Fine-" I stopped myself, remembering all too clearly Edward's previous comments on that word. A lump formed in my throat, I didn't know what else I _could _say. Words couldn't describe what I was feeling. Esme didn't look convinced, I forced on a smile, hoping it would suffice. "Honestly Esme, I'm fine..."

But I wasn't. I wasn't _fine_. Fine implied that one was okay, normal, at ease. I wasn't any of those things. Some people think that saying a lie over and over again to yourself will make you believe it. Like drilling in information for someone with an exam the next day. As if repeating a mantra - with whatever accuracy, whether it was a lie or truth - would somehow engrave the information and make it seem reality. Fact. The repetition of a lie.

I wasn't sure on this theory; but I sure as hell was going to try it. Maybe - just maybe, if I continued to convince myself of this small fact, that I _was _fine and that I didn't feel like I was going to shatter - then I'd be able to carry on.

I felt a small sound escape my lips despite myself. One halfway between a sigh and a small sob. A voice inside my head had reminded me yet again of my dream. It wholeheartedly disagreed wit such a theory.

_I don't think anyone can be fine when they've just seen their father's death flash before their eyes._

***

I'd eaten. I'd answered some more of Carlisle's questions. I'd assured Esme several times that I was okay. Overall, it was just another day of my chaotic life that had been mainly revolved around me lying through my teeth.

Now, I was sick with it all. I had taken refuge outside, claiming that I needed fresh air. I knew they'd be watching in case I ventured into the woods, so stayed close to the building. Just leant, breathing heavily against the cold stone wall of the Cullens' house, glad that the air was crisp and bright because it sharpened my dull senses slightly. I'd been in this position now (leant against the wall with my eyes closed) for a long time. Though I didn't notice.

Slowly however, that sensation that prickled hairs on the nape of my neck arose. Adrenaline worked up my heartbeat. The air seemed denser suddenly. _I was being watched. _

I snapped my eyes open. Edward stared straight back at me, I held in a yelp.

"I thought you'd gone." I tried to sound indifferent. He frowned slightly, maybe I didn't succeed with the look.

"I said I was going to hunt," He reminded me, but I noted his eyes were still the same onyx. He must have noticed my look as he continued: "but I didn't get round to it. The elk are sparse at the moment and mountain lions are further up north." I wasn't sure whether he was trying to scare me with the casual talk of the animals he killed, I just knew it wasn't working. He looked at me for a moment in something like curiosity before muttering something so quietly I didn't know if he was just talking to himself. "Besides, I can't stay away for long." He sounded rueful.

I tried to ignore the latter part to his words, forcing myself to not sway from my original anger at him. The act of trying to do this had me frowning in concentration. I'd quite forgotten about Edward.

"You okay?" He said after a pause, "Or is there a particular reason for you to look so…" He struggled for a word. "_Contorted_?" He couldn't quite dispel the humour in his voice.

I glared at him. Great. So according to him and Mike, I was demented _and _contorted?

How flattering.

"We can't all be perfect…" I muttered darkly, regretting my decision in going outside at all. So much for tranquillity.

"Oh, I'm far from perfect." It wasn't just I who sounded dark now.

I snapped my eyes back him again. Taking in his appearance. The high cheek bones, angular features, intriguing dark eyes and tousled hair. He was the _epitome _of perfection. There was no point in denying such a fact, even if I was angry at him. For some reason, his casual contempt at himself, his _denial _at who he was enraged me. I felt something inside me snap.

"But you are Edward! I don't know what to think. You're flawless, I always feel like you going to disappear. So you said you were going to hunt, was I just meant to _believe _that? For all I know you could have be gallivanting off to Volterra. How am I meant to think? That you'll stay here? That you your family will just tolerate me? Sooner or later you'll leave me. I'm just a silly human who's constantly stalked by chaos. And then there's you…" He was staring at me in blank shock; I finished off in a quieter voice again. "Well, you're perfect."

And then, he _laughed_. It wasn't his normal dry chuckle though. The sound had an edge to it, no longer the beautiful harmony I'd come to associate as his laughter, it was now something too complex for me to work out. A tainted sarcasm almost, like he didn't even find the situation funny.

I stared at him in shock, discarding how different it sounded. The point still remained: he was _laughing at me_! This was probably the fact that set me off; I promptly felt anger ripple through me like wildfire.

"This," I was having to speak through clenched teeth now; I wanted to unleash my wrath. How could he not be taking this seriously? This was the polar opposite to how he had been before. "Is. _Not_. Funny."

He smiled wryly at me, and in an instant, was only an inch away, close enough for me to be chilled by his icy chest. I was now pinned against the wall. My breathing hitched. I wanted to kill that heartbeat of mine. I _hated _the involuntary reactions I kept getting. My heart rate had increased dramatically, and I knew he could hear it.

"Don't Edward," I threatened, refusing to let my stupid hormones defeat the point of my argument. But he didn't listen. Brushing my cheek the back of his marble hand. The pressure from his arm that kept me stuck in my position didn't cease. I started to feel dizzy from it.

"You say I'm perfect?" He whispered, there was no longer humour in his tone. It was only then that I'd realised the strained edge to his voice had been because it was fake. Not real. I knew he could find nothing funny at the moment, not with how dark his eyes were.

"Well, asides from the freaking bipolar moods you have," I grumbled, the anger not yet completely abolished, "and your stupid arrogance that pops up… _and _your overreactions - wait. I take it back, you're no longer perfect. You have several faults."

"You've missed out the most obvious one." His voice was the same dark voice I'd heard when I'd first woken up this morning now. I frowned at his expression; his aesthetic lips now a tight line.

"Let's see," I tried to lighten the mood slightly, though unwilling to meet his gaze now. "Bipolar moods; arrogance; overreactions… nope, I think I've got it covered. Oh wait! You growl too much as well." He gave a sceptical sneer. It was a cold look - one that I knew was meant to threaten me - harsh and virulent. I didn't move back.

His expression shifted minutely, bordering more on cynical disbelief than outright contempt. I gave him an equal look of disdain, feeling ever angrier at his false accusations that were plain through his gaze. What? He _did_. It wasn't necessary to _growl _to express anger.

"And the fact that I'm a vampire?" He hissed rhetorically. Loathing laced his tone. I couldn't help but notice that his words were quieter now, as if only meant to be heard by himself.

"Doesn't bother me in the slightest." I said easily anyway, it was the truth. That aspect of his nature had never really bothered me. Truthfully, I wasn't sure why. The fact that I had always suspected something had to account to an extent, I'd realised what they were after I'd witnessed Bella's past. Still, even then a normal person would have felt afraid - terrified even. I didn't to me. Perhaps it was because they were vegetarians. Or… Well, maybe I was just a bit backward.

"It should bother you. I'm a killer Lucie." If the conversation hadn't been so serious - I would have rolled my eyes. Edward was incredibly repetitive when it came to that line. It was another thing that annoyed me. That and his 'monster' speech.

That's it. I had found _loads _of faults in him. Edward was… faulty.

Yet when I looked up to him again, the words I'd planned in my mind previously to lighten the conversation died before they'd reached my lips. He wasn't looking at me now, though I could see the self loathing in his eyes. The disgust at what he was. An irrational urge to hug him welled inside me - to comfort him, convince him he wasn't the only one confused and lost.

I didn't though. I was too scared that the disgust would be at me in such an action. When I replied, my voice was small again. Though the words I spoke held more meaning than ones previously.

"It's not what we _are_; it's what we chose to _be_. You're a vampire; you chose not to be a monster-"

But when I looked up, Edward had gone.

_Ugh. Another fault: He was rude too._

***

A sudden sort of determination gripped me. I purposefully began to stride towards the trees. Yes, it was stupid, but this fact didn't register in my mind as I advanced through the thick forest. My head was too filled by the simple fact that Edward had just left. So much for being courteous. I walked for what felt like hours, eventually feeling as though I should turn back, but unwilling for how the Cullens would react to my recklessness.

"What are you doing out here?!" Someone exclaimed behind me, I whirled around in shock.

Edward was crouched low to the ground, his hair ruffled, eyes a burning gold. I couldn't compose my expression quickly enough. My face portrayed that of one who was awestruck. Which, incidentally, was not the look I should have been giving him. I should be glaring at him for his previous words to me, shouting even.

Even settling with shock would have been a better option; he didn't straighten up from his crouch. There was something oddly feline to the stance. A flower of unease bloomed inside my chest. I could remember all too well the last time I'd made comparisons to a vampire as cat-like.

I shook off that thought, wondering how to reply to his question.

_Well, I was angry at you… but now I don't feel very angry which is pretty flipping confusing… and I'm out here because you spontaneously vanished halfway through my speech in which I was going to convince you that you weren't a monster. It all culminates in me, staring at you… who for some reason is still crouched on the floor…_

Yeah. That wasn't going to go so well.

"I needed to think..." My voice was small.

"Why are outside though?" There was a note of something I couldn't detect in his voice, almost anxiety. "You should have gone back inside… why didn't Alice-" He stopped himself, frowning at her name, "You…shouldn't have followed me…I could have been still hunting Lucie, I-" He winced.

Realisation slowly found me.

Had I interrupted him… mid _hunt_?

"Oh." I whispered quietly, stepping back. His eyes followed the movement. I remembered animal documentaries on how to stay still if you were in the presence of a lion. How animals could sense fear. How they liked to chase their prey.

Yet I had no intention of running. I'd of made a pretty damn awful gazelle.

"I should apologise for earlier…" Edward said, straightening up. I averted my gaze. But I could tell he was nervous, that seemed the only logical explanation for him running a hand through his bronze hair. "Really… I am. I hate it when I'm like that Lucie. It's deplorable… but when Alice told me that Demetri," He noticed my small wince at the mention of him, "well… I shouldn't have reacted that way. I _am _sorry."

Was it really pathetic of me to want to forgive him?

There was a pause then. But before I could speak, he moved to me, in a lithe movement that portrayed a sort if graceful anxiousness. A quizzical frown had fallen across his perfect face. There seemed to be a certain amount of indecision in his eyes, but the instant I saw it, his expression changed into one of determination. Quick as lighting, he was two inches away. A snowy hand moved towards my face in a flurry of white, taking out my hair band in one elegant movement, lighter than a butterfly's wing, and letting my hair cascade around my face.

"Sorry," He murmured almost sheepish, his voice low, "that was… distracting me."

I'd completely forgotten I'd had my hair up. His face lit up as he stepped back to look at me.

I didn't quite understand the notion, though now I _could _smell the apple scent of my shampoo. He'd probably taken out my hair to cover the other scent. My blood. Too potent for its own good. I blushed for even considering there'd been a greater reason for his actions. Edward's voice broke me out of my train of thought.

"Much better." He said roughly. _Unevenly_. My stupid heart had possibly _the _most ridiculous reaction to Edward sounding out of breath. I mentally kicked myself. Edward smiled coyly. Yeah. That just made my heart sound like it was having a seizure.

_A flipping seizure!_

It appeared it wasn't just me who was aware of that.

"Do I need to get Carlisle to check on you?" He teased lightly. I didn't smile. There was a silence between us. A charged one. I wasn't sure whether I was going crazy or not. For some reason, the thought of him being any _closer_, brought up the connotation of lightning. If he couldn't feel the charge in the atmosphere then maybe I was going crazy. The chemistry was almost palpable. I half expected one of us to burst into flame. And seeing as he was a vampire (and therefore well, pretty cold...) I suspected it would probably be me.

Well, that and the fact that I felt like I was already burning.

"Your pupils are dilated," Edward commented suddenly, a grin pulling at the edges of his lips. I got distracted by that. And by his change in tone from earlier. It took me a slow moment to realise he was waiting for a reply.

"Sorry?" I finally managed to say dazedly, my voice sounding as light as I felt. His grin spread.

"Your eyes; it's said that ones pupils dilate when they see someone they like." He mused, running a hand through his hair again. I glared at him. The irritation frothing inside me again. Oh, so the fact that my _pupils _were big meant that I _liked _him, did it?

"No, it's the iris reflex. It has nothing to do with _liking _someone, it's just because I'm in the shade here and therefore there's only a small amount of light entering my eyes which is why the circular muscles in them are relaxing. This means that my pupils appear dilated. It has nothing _whatsoever _to do with _you_," I finished off, slightly smug, "well, apart from the fact that you account for most of the shade."

I grinned triumphantly. _Ha, beat that! Stupid smart supernatural vampire. _

It took a long moment before he formed an answer.

"Mr Banner would be proud."

***

**Edward's POV: (Mwhaha! Bet you weren't expecting **_**this**_**. See? I'm full of surprises!)**

Chaos was ubiquitous when it came to Lucie.

I'm not even sure how I'd come to be here. The point of my hunt was to get _away _from her. The intoxicating scent emanating from her was too strong. I was a tyrant in such respects, I fled to feed. I needed to replenish the thirst; else she would be in more danger than she already was. I was well aware of how hostile I had been. The news though of _them _threatening her had enraged me though.

There had been a friction in the air between us that I couldn't determine. It was like the thin air that lay between her and I was getting deadlier with each comment. Gun powder waiting for the final spark that would set us off.

Something that would lead to the inferno.

And yet now, the fire had died down. Mere embers flickering softly, not quite dead. My thirst was quenched, so in many ways the situation should be _better._ I no longer craved her blood. She wasn't now in mortal danger.

But the predicament _wasn't _better. It was worse.

Now only one damn confusing emotion coursed through me. It was an irrational yearning to sweep her up. Quite literally: to swing her up in to my arms. And it was practically overpowering my thoughts. I frowned in determination not to scare her. _Yeah, just sweep her up Edward, because she just _loves _being carried around, makes her feel the opposite of weak, doesn't it?… _My sarcastic thoughts were cut short in a realisation.

I hadn't even realised how close I was to her.

Somehow in our conversation (mainly complied of me trying to infuriate her - it'd worked. I still wasn't quite sure how she'd managed to conjure up such a good counter argument. Though in the end, I'd succeeded - her eyes were now my favourite shade of bright emerald.) I had ended up next to her again. Leaning over her. I was now _definitely _causing shade. She straightened up slightly - I felt a smile tug the corners of my lips when I realised she was trying to be taller.

I don't think anyone could have anticipated what happened next.

Somehow, she was in the crook of my arm, suspended easily in a motion too quick for human eyes to see. The sudden contact had caused a conflagration burnt my stone skin, minutes ago dead, unfeeling.

It had lit the inferno.

I was sure over a thousand emotions cascaded over me. It was this that caused _me _to gasp. I, who didn't even _need _a supply of oxygen. It was this that caused her erratic _beautiful _heart rate to rise all over again. And it was this that caused an idea so unthinkable to seize me. With a force so potent, I felt all my previous restraint fall away.

_I wanted to kiss her._

My mind seemed to have stopped. Time had stopped. Suddenly all I could see was her. A blinding white light that shattered my eternal darkness. Still, the same, ever present part of me remained. And it was shouting in indecision again. My idea - the same I idea I wanted to fulfil more than ever at this moment - terrified me.

It was not the concept of my actions that scared me. It wasn't even her reaction that scared me. Nor was it the guilt that would inevitably arise when I thought if Bella that scared me. It wasn't any of those; they seemed translucent in comparison to the thing that gripped me with an ever impounding force.

It was the idea of waking up from the surrealistic word, leaving only bitter reality and carrying on when the chaos continued to cascade around her, and feeling the entire universe shift in the sky.

My gasp seemed to have affected her in some way. She was still cradled in my arms, staring at me in uttermost shock, blushing furiously. I lost all my breath again. I wasn't sure how to react to such a sight. She looked _petrified_. Eyes still dominant in a salient emerald. I didn't lessen my grip. I _couldn't_. There wasn't a way on earth that I would let her go into those woods alone. The concept of it was simply too implausible.

_But she wouldn't have done that anyway. Her intention wasn't just to stroll into the forest Edward; she came to look for _you_. You don't even need to hold her. You just want to. And stop staring at her lips! Damn it Edward, what's got into you?!_

"What is it?" She managed to choke, her lips were parted slightly, I couldn't take my eyes off her.

And it was scaring the hell out of me.

***

**Lucie's POV:**

Was he _trying _to kill me?!

He had to do _that _didn't he? He had to sweep me up in one of those perfect movements that you only ever saw in films; that caused me to lose all my breath; and made completely forget the fact that I didn't even like being suspended in mid air. _Except when it's him who is suspending you that is… _

I ignored the wry thought, though I couldn't help but feel confused. I searched to a word to describe how one felt when swooped up by Edward. Degrading - that was probably the closest. I was going to mention this, but my sentence died on my tongue when I looked back to him, his eyes were still alight in the thing I couldn't work out. Oh, I knew what I _thought _it was. But that was impossible. Still, the impossible possibility was enough to make me become extremely dizzy. My heart had passed seizure status. Bring on the defibrillation device.

"I'm sorry…" I managed to choke that out. It was all I could say. Quickly, I stared at his hands. I wasn't willing to look at him - at least, not in the eyes. I knew I'd only lose coherency in speech. For a long moment, he didn't respond. I'd have given anything to understand what he was thinking. And to procure the reason for him swooping me up so.

I was trying to compose my expression; there had been something in his eyes that I couldn't understand again. That same need - not craving for my blood, but something else entirely. And emotion to confusing for it's own good.

There was just the rustling of leaves and the patter of raindrops from the rainfall that had remained on the trees. Despite the fact that it was quiet, the small insignificant sounds seemed too loud for the forest, like a cry breaking a realm of serenity. The thought had me shiver involuntarily, vividly remembering the last cry I'd heard… I didn't dwell on the memory.

"You're cold." Edward stated, still in that rough velvet. I couldn't control the shivers now, and he pulled away - evidently meaning to place me down. I grabbed his shirt in an attempt to stop him. The act should have had no effect on him. I wasn't the strongest person by any standards, and the fact that he had _inhuman _strength didn't help that case. But now, as I clung to his shirt, he stopped pulling away, instead looking at me. He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused, looking from my flustered expression down to my hand - fisted in his shirt. I felt a blush adorned my cheeks; nervously flicking a stray strand of hair out of my eyes. He caught my hand as I pushed the hair away.

"Oh, and you're already forgiven you know." He murmured, trapping me with his gaze. Even now, despite how dark they had been previously, when they were endless pools of onyx tinged with ochre - and despite how I knew my scent, my _blood _must have been tempting him, even if he _had _just hunted. As I looked into his eyes I felt the opposite of afraid. I was lost in them. And I never wanted to look away.

I'd completely forgotten that he'd spoken by this point.

"I-I… uh…what?" I finally stuttered out, he just smiled.

"You're forgiven for being an imprudent stubborn human who stupidly tried to take the blame and suffer in silence."

I scowled.

"I am _not _imprudent…" I mumbled indignantly. I could feel him vibrate as a chuckle shook him. I continued to glare at him. He didn't stop laughing. "That's it! Put me down. You killed the moment Edward." I tried to squirm free.

"No." He said with poise, slowly grinning wider.

"Edward…" I warned through clenched teeth resisting the urge to try out a method of kicking a certain part of his anatomy that would surely make him keel over. Vampire or no vampire. _That _had to hurt. Perhaps he could read my mind (or maybe my eyes had just adopted a particularly mad looking glint) because with a resigned sigh he placed me lightly on my feet.

We stayed in a stony silence for a few minutes, a distance between us again.

And then he did something he'd never done before.

He moved towards me, with excruciating slow lope - even for my human pace. And a slow, radiant, crooked and undeniably _seductive _smile spread across his lips, matching the ardour that burned in his eyes. I felt my heart miss a beat. He had _never _smiled at me like that. I was under full influence of his charms, his resplendent charisma - now utterly equal to even Jasper's.

The glorious look only brightened at my intake of breath. I looked down at the floor, a blush tinting my cheeks. Perhaps tinting was the wrong word - blazing was probably more apt. There was a long silence, broken only by my heavy breathing and the wind. I snuck another look at him again and my breath caught. I knew what he was about to do, so I summoned as much confidence as I could when I looked at him hard in the eye. I saw a wicked glint spark there.

Thing was, I'd seen this _exact _said glint only minutes previously, and thus; I knew exactly what he was planning to do.

"You wouldn't." I threatened. I tried to step back, but couldn't move suddenly. Ice cold hands had formed handcuffs around my wrists. His reply was lower than a whisper. For some reason his lack of amplitude made my pulse rise even faster. Frenzied now.

"Are you sure about that?"

And in a flurry of movement, I was in his arms, and he was grinning triumphantly.

***

We talked.

Edward Cullen and I actually had a _civil _conversation. Shocking though it may seem, we did. It could have even been passed off as normal; Mike could have overheard us and wouldn't have had the slightest idea that Edward was a vampire because of the topics we discussed. No sadism, no bloodshed, nothing remotely horrific came up actually. Edward merely continued to ask me questions on what I liked and disliked.

The only thing that Mike might have found slightly odd (and no doubt, downright cross) - was the fact Edward. Was. Still. Carrying. Me. In fact, Mike and I were alike in that respect.

It had become very distracting actually. I couldn't concentrate on flipping trivial questions when he was just _suspending _me like that…

"Why Lucie," Edward asked suddenly, I couldn't recall what he'd said seconds ago, I'd been lost in thought and too conscientious of how darn prominent his abs were. "Do you have a peculiar facial expression? I have a feeling you were thinking about Mike Newton."

"How the?!" I exclaimed, "Wh-what? How did you - you can't - read-"

He chuckled. "No need to get so flustered, I was just wondering why Newton," No, Edward's views on Mike Newton hadn't changed, I could tell in his tone that still seemed to withhold a large amount of disgust for him. "Was in your head when - well, when you're in _my _rather dashing presence." He flashed a brilliantly white set of teeth.

I set my jaw, meaning to reply that arrogance was _not _an attractive trait.

But before I could even think of a reply- before I had even opened my mouth - a foreign sound interrupted the deadly silence. It was a foreign sound, because I had not heard it in so long, the same high pitched buzzing that one could only really associated with one thing.

My _phone_?

I stared in blank shock down at my pocket, now understanding the tingling feeling on my right leg. This didn't make sense…the last time I'd tried to use my phone it was waterlogged. I distinctly remember the conversation that had led up to it being dropped in a puddle. I wasn't the sort to use my phone much; I'd never liked long conversations without seeing someone's face. I felt ice slither through me, rendering me frozen to the spot as the act of my phone ringing finally dawned on me. _Only one person ever called my phone._

Edward's voice broke the silence. I couldn't hear it properly. It was like he was on the end of a bad telephone line, crackly and indistinct to my ears.

"Are you going to answer that?"

I'd stopped listening to him by the third word. (I hadn't realised he'd set me on my feet again.)

My shuddering hands fumbled with my jean pocket, procuring the small device mid ring. I'd stopped breathing. All my hopes remained in the voice at the other end. I pressed it to me ear, desperately, completely forgetting Edward for the first time that day.

My voice itself was the quietest I'd ever heard it.

"_Dad…_?"

"Oh Lucie, oh Lucie thank _goodness_." It was him. It was the same voice I'd been craving to hear these past few days. I felt relief swell through me. The feeling was short-lived.

I'd not forgotten the shrillness to my father's tone. A sharp prickle of uttermost unease ran through me. He was safe. But he sounded panicked. "Listen to me sweetie-" Despite everything - despite the fact that he could be in mortal danger, that he could be within a second of death - I could hear his soft words, the same words he'd used when I was a child. He was trying to soothe me. Calm me.

And it wasn't working.

"_Dad_! Where are you? What happened? Are you hurt? Tell me - please, who took you? I-I'm scared daddy… I've got help; I need to find you-"

"_No_!" Raw horror scraped his tone. "No Lucie. Stay where you are. Don't look for me. You hear me? Do not go anywhere. Don't go _anywhere _near the forest okay? Where are you now? At home?"

"I-I…" The panic was making me dizzy. The _forest_? I felt like screaming. His urgency masked by the eerie calm scared me more than I could express. My tongue felt slack in my mouth, too large almost. The lump in my throat seemed to impair my speech. I couldn't say anything for a second. I heard myself speaking as if from far away. "No... No, I'm not there." A sigh of relief sounded at the other end of the phone.

"You're not there? _Good_. Don't go back. Stay with your friends - Alice was it? Just… stay safe Lucie, for me. I had to hear your voice sweetheart. Look, I need to go soon, but I promise everything will be okay-"

"No!" I shouted again, detecting the finality in his words, fighting back tears, "Dad, _where are you?! _Tell me, please, I have to - I can't - I need… Just-" My sentence became incoherent as hysteria threatened to consume my speech entirely. I felt myself shake. The convulsions of fear for him were now violent.

"Don't worry Lucie. Just stay safe. I-I…" There was a hesitation then, his voice now thick with emotion. "I'm okay… just - remember I love you-"

His words were interrupted again, but this time, not by me. There was another noise on the other end. A slow rustling sound, like a gust of wind. Then there was crackling, and then everything was cut off by a silence, and a voice that I knew - a voice that sent a shiver of terror through me. And one that turned my blood slow and thick. It was soft, melodic. It held no panic like my father's. No fear. No apprehension, no urgency.

It was dead. Holding no emotion except the slight drawl of tainted amusement.

"I've got him."

_It was Demetri._

The phone went dead.

***

***GASPETH!* Yeah. I know. Killer cliffy. What can I say? ;) My reign of uttermost evil shall never cease! *cue creepy laugh* However, for some reason… I have a sense you won't like this chapter… :s gah! I can predict 'Edward is an ** reviews' … well meh. He was _thirsty_ people! And he's still fighting his inner demons and hates not being the cool collected cucumber and instead reverts to being an angsty confused Growlward. Ah well, say what you think in a review!**

**Now. Hang in there people. The pace is officially picking up from here onward. (I say that a lot huh? I promise the pace will pick up! … Bwhaha - yeah, I say **_**that **_**a lot too. 'Bwhaha' is how I imagine a laugh to sound like… though I'm not quite sure why it always reminds me of demented turkeys…) If you think I'm stretching this story out too much… gah. Sorry. I can't help it. It's the stupid characters **_**they do things that I don't allow! **_

**Whoa for the response on that challenge I set out! Jeesh! How the hack do so many people know so many weird words?! (And there I sat, thinking that no one would take notice of that challenge :p) **

**Here were my favourite ones (no particular order):**

**Callipygian - **_SouthernBelle90 _**(Go look up this word. NOW. I got dared to make Edward say it to Lucie. Triple dared in fact. I don't know if I **_**can**_**. Remember, I'm the person who goes beat red just at 'snog each other senseless' I'd be on **_**fire**_**! (And no. I cannot believe I just said that.. *grimaces*) **

**Haberdashery - **_Cappuccino C. Cullen. _

**Piquant**_** - **__Jade Lyssy Swan_

**Pulchritudinous **_**- **a lot of reviewers mentioned this one actually… **and I am obviously a sort of mutant goldfish, and can't remember who. So, if you did. Um… sorry I forgot, but whoop for the awesome word.**_

**Rhinotillexomania **_**- **__Edward'sGirlForEternity_**(Now. Here's an anon review that has been reviewing relentlessly for AGES and I need to say again that I LOVE the anon reviews too. I strongly advise you all to get an account NOW! But heck, **_Edward'sGirlForEternity_**really needs a big mention for the LENGTH of her review. I'm still gobsmacked *snort… NO! I don't have Swine Flu, but I do love that word* by the epic reviews I seem to get. They're awesome! THE single best inspirational thing EVER! Oh, and also, YAY for her to review for 'Rosa' By **_Jade Lyssy Swan _***seehowinsistantIamonadvertisingthisfic?!* Jade has requested me to say an extra big thanks! So.. THANKS.) **

**Anyway, I can't list these all night, but thanks for the response! **

**OH! And I've just realised I do have a slight excuse for not updating… for… Sunday. Because, on Father's Day it was MOUSE'S BIRTHDAY! ;) Yup. So happy belated birthday Mouse. She's offically 3 years old. Ancient Mouse is now wise.**

**Okay, I found this quote the other day. I apologise I advance if you happen to like this quote (if so, why, why, **_**why**_**?!) because I feel a rant brewing. So, I found this when looking at a reader's profile on here - and quite frankly, in my opinion it's being rather prejudice towards ducks. Yes. Ducks. I shall quote the quote for you: "The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in." **

**I'm sorry but **_**what**_**?! This is ridiculous! If we didn't have spaced between our fingers then we **_**wouldn't have fingers! **_**There'd just be a blob... (and by blob, yes, I mean a hand) Oh, and you're probably wondering why this quote is at all prejudice to ducks? (or not. :p) Well, ducks have webbed feet (okay, so there not exactly hands per se, but you get what I mean, **_**or not..) **_**and so this quote is basically saying: 'sorry ducks, you don't have spaces in-between your toes/hands/flippers? Because you don't need other ducks to hold you hands/feet/flippers-**

**That's it. I'm making no sense. Time to shut up. **

**Ah ha! I remember my point for that seemingly pointless rant on quotes. Do you have any quotes you hate? Or ones that you love? Just tell me in the review if you want. Let's see which is better: the scary vocabulary or the quote knowledge. :p I PROMISE to send out a sneak peak to someone who has a particularly valid reason for liking (or hating) a quote. And this time, I won't disappoint. (I hope.)**

**So. Do you think by… hmms… the end of NEXT chapter (nah, not this one) there'll be 1000 reviews for this fic? Maybe? Hmm? HMM?!**

**Oh. And PLEASE REVIEW! (frog, I'm sorry, I miss begging for reviews. That's one of my talents… begging and threatening… **_**especially **_**threatening actually ;) - pah. Right. Now for several hours of work that I've been procrastinating (yeah, that's one of my BEST talents :p) from doing… *sighs* Life's so darn stressful these days. I need the summer holidays to be NOW…**

**Lily - who hopes she hasn't bored you to death with her very tedious babble this time. She's wondering whether she can use the excuse of being a mutant goldfish as a way of not doing her work… **


	36. Alluring Art Immobilises

**Heyyys!**

**First of all: I didn't die. I'm alive. It's just been a horrendously long time since I've updated :S … my time devoid of updating has been spent in a vast variety of ways, including: reading; looking after midgets; acting; doing far too much work; and getting squashed by my own mattress. (Yeah. What a traitor.)**

**But, before I go off and apologise endlessly…Let's highlight **_**the **_**single most important news: NELEPHANTS! Yeah. Nelephants. As it is, the word 'nelephants' used in a review on this fic ranks 6th**** when typed into Google - I found this out from **pyrogirl's** review. I think it's something to celebrate. (Ha. An elephant appears in odd attire in this chapter. Watch out for that :p) **

**REVIEWS?! You guys have blown me away! Seriously: 960?! :D To everyone out there who has reviewed: I owe you a million nelephants. (And that's rather a lot, you must admit) I just want to say a really big thanks to everyone who reviews and has kept reviewing. I've lost a lot of people throughout the course of this story - but to those of you have struggled through with reading (and reviewing) it, - thanks a gazillion. I couldn't continue without you people, and I'm really glad that you seem to be enjoying the story. Rest assure - there's more to come. With regards to that (how long this will be) well… I honestly can't say. Do you want it to end soon? I know where I'm going, and I have a plot set out… but generally chapters become longer than I initially plan them to be anyway (honestly, this was only meant to be 5,000 words. Do you prefer longer or shorter chapters?) - so I can't actually say how much longer you have to wait to hear the end. **

**Now, recently, whenever I say that I don't like chapters, I get countless assurances that chapters are good. We have a problem. Thing is, I actually quite **_**like **_**this chapter… *gasps* so I think that'll mean that you all **_**won't **_**like it. Reverse Psychology maybe? (I'm an expert at that, years of using it on my younger sister… 'No! **_**I **_**want to sit in the back of the car!' Hehe, it worked **_**every **_**time) Ah well. I hope you do, but if you don't - I'm sorry, suggest anything that would make this story more enjoyable, I read and cherish every review and do try to reply to them all. You can't comprehend how much reviews help me write!**

**Oh, and **Edward'sGirlForEternity**gets another mention because without her review I might have postponed this update till tomorrow (gah! I have my Shakespeare play then! *… glowers at script*) but I didn't - because her review put pressure on me to update, and it cheered me up. Oh! And she has a scarily large amount of quotes in her review too :p Story wise - if you think this is too long, too drawn out, or 'just end it already!' please say… else, heck, I'll end up babbling forever.**

**Yeah. A scary thought :p**

**Even though this IS late, I'm glad I didn't update sooner. Technically - I could have updated yesterday. But I made some serious changes to this chapter which not only made it longer, but also better in my opinion. And … I did give a few people permissio to stab me if I didn't update on the weekend… so, *sighs* let the stabbing ensue…**

**So I hope it was worth the wait! If not… then darn. I'm sorrryyyy! (The A/N at the bottom gives me a bit of a an excuse… I recommend you read it before trying to kill me - I'm already going to have stab wounds at this rate!) And ahhh dear, I'm super sleepy. I apologise in advance if there are numerous typos here - when I get the time I'll go back and edit this story. Just try to cope with my mistakes :p**

**Oh, oh OH! Quite a few of you are still shouting: WHATABOUTBELLA?! And that's fine, because you should… but honestly, did you really think I'd just… **_**forgotten **_**about her? Tsk Tsk. My memory isn't quite **_**that **_**awful, have faith in me! :p So yeah, to placate you all - I struggled through writing her POV at the start. Is it confusing? Hell yes. Thing is… I meant it to be, there's a reason that it's obscure (otherwise too much would have been given away at the start of the chappy.) **

**Annnnddd, I treated you all - there might be more than one change of POV in this. A popular one too. ;)**

***promptly shuts up***

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

His words were interrupted again, but this time, not by me. There was another noise on the other end. A slow rustling sound, like a gust of wind. Then there was crackling, and then everything was cut off by a silence, and a voice that I knew - a voice that sent a shiver of terror through me. And one that turned my blood slow and thick. It was soft, melodic. It held no panic like my father's. No fear. No apprehension, no urgency.

It was dead. Holding no emotion except the slight drawl of tainted amusement.

"I've got him."

_It was Demetri._

The phone went dead.

***

**Alluring Art Immobilises **

**Bella's POV: (Now, yes, this is confusing. Even this little in-brackets-note is confusing. But… it's **_**meant to be**_**… - ha, if that makes any sense! - Just bear that in mind before you rush off to complain :p)**

Maybe it was rash of me to jump to this decision, to willing place myself in this predicament. One - in most circumstances - that would have been described as stupid, suicidal even. _He _(I didn't want to think his name, not yet, it would only makes things harder)wouldn't approve, and yet he was the very reason I did it. I could feel my muscles tense as I drew closer still, my body overwrought with the natural instinctive to escape.

Every iota of sense inside me was screaming, to run, to flee.

And I ignored it. _All _of it.

I've been here before (quandary wise), a lot really, and none of my memories regarding my situations were particularly pleasant. I bit my lip in apprehension, not for the first time wondering why I'd just agreed to him. But it was necessary. I had to do this. Dangerous though the situation was, I'd always known that I couldn't completely escape it; it was inevitable. They'd promised to come for me. And now they were here, true to their twisted words, this one rule that they didn't break. So as I stood my ground, I didn't tremble as I once would have. I just looked before me, assuming as nonchalant a position as I could.

Face to face with a vampire.

A vampire, incidentally, that fed on humans. Not _my _sort - I cut off my thoughts there, I could no longer (or even before to be honest) really refer to the Cullens as 'mine' - of vampire. The vampire before me, still immersed in shadow, was not a vegetarian. No honey golden eyes shone in the pale face. They were red, the deep blood red I'd seen far too often.

He didn't speak, and neither did I. The fear hadn't hit me yet; I was numb to everything devoid of my thoughts. The things that I had realised in the last hour since awakening from the dream had led me here - in the silent forest, not knowing whether death or torture lay ahead of me. A brief reverie consumed me, the remnants of earlier this week flashing before my eyes - as surreal and perfect as a dream.

_Jacob, longing on the sofa, his chin propped against my head, hot, strong arms encircling me - warming me, and dispelling the ice shards from my chest - still cutting at me. His voice in my ear - husky and soft - whispered comfort passing between us. His musky scent filling the air, a warm hand cupping my cheek where the tears still flowed relentlessly._

"_He was a drug to you Bella - a solid, alluring (well to _you _I guess not to me so much), moving, talking, drug - but a drug nonetheless. I understand, and I can wait. I couldn't before, but I understand now. I'm not what I used to be - I won't hurt you like he did but I won't pressure you to stay with me either. You can do what you want, as long as you're happy… as long as you're _safe_…" His voice had cracked on the last word. We both knew nothing was safe right now._

"_But I don't want to go anywhere else - not right now," _

_His lips at my ear._

"_Then stay…"_

_And me, saying the words - the truth - that I had kept from him and myself for so long._

"_I love you Jake…"_

"…_And that's all that matters."_

With that, reality crashed around me, and now I was no longer safe in Jacob's embrace, no longer warm, but cold. The bitter icy air cutting at my skin, more noticeable than before, more painful.

"I came like you asked." I said, keeping my voice flat and neutral - I would quell the shakes as long as I could. My next words weren't panicked - but strong, spoken straight from the heart. "And I come on the conditions you mentioned earlier. You can't hurt them; you have to stay away from the pack. From Jake and his family - you can't touch them. Ever." My voice rang with a power I didn't feel.

His lip curled a twisted mockery of a smile.

"Sweet Isabella, do you doubt my promises?"

I didn't answer.

He laughed an eerily beautiful sound. Like something once beautiful turned sour - he had rotted from the inside, the darkness tainting him. "And you know that your purpose wasn't to protect the wolves, was it? I asked you to come here as a trade proposal… I take it you've decided."

I didn't answer at first. I knew what he was referring to. The message he had sent to me had been clear. He wanted Lucie. I didn't know why - and didn't dare to _ask _why he wanted her. But he did.

And he'd contacted me to bargain, knowing that I would willing comply to hid wishes if Edward was concerned. And he was - not directly, but not subtly enough for it to pass by the Volturi unnoticed either.

Cognisance fell slowly upon me, the weight of the truth almost crushing. And I was stuck. Because every time I tried to deny it - I failed. I loved him, I couldn't help it. I loved him and I always would - and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardise his happiness. He, who had been lost for over a centaury, never on the right path… he finally seemed to be getting together, I wasn't going to stop that.

So when I faced the man before me, my answer was clear - I wasn't giving up on him. I would never betray him, no matter what consequences befell me. And I knew Lucie was good for him… I knew that if I couldn't be with him because I loved another, that she could help him, _heal _him.

Because whilst Edward was a drug to me; I was one to him. Lucie and Jacob were our antidotes.

Over the horizon the sun peaked, the dawn rays cascaded around, filtering through the thicket of green, the faint rays flickering and casting a small chance of hope to shimmer inside me. I was doing this for Edward, for Jacob, I would protect them both no matter what.

"Take me," I whispered to the figure shrouded in black, "take me and leave her."

Aro stepped forward, a wicked smile playing at his lips. And for the first time I was unsure about the truth of his bargain.

His words only confirmed my fears; I felt a knot twist in my stomach.

"Won't it be brilliant when I have you _both_?"

***

**Lucie's POV:**

A second passed before I could think again. My head felt like it was going to burst, I'd taken in too much in the last few minutes. Too many errant thoughts surfaced in my mind. Forbidden ones, the type I'd tried to expel for weeks. The same dead face again. It didn't help that I'd stopped breathing; it was the only reason why I hadn't screamed yet.

"_Dad_!" The scream finally left my lips in little more than a strangled gasp. The sudden intake of oxygen made me feel giddy - almost sick. My sight was blurred, and I felt bile rise in my throat. Oh crud, I _was _going to be sick. I exhaled slowly in attempt to prevent retching, but again - only the same croaked gasp left my lips, broken and ragged.

My hearing was odd too. I could hear sounds, but if was like I was someone else witnessing my own cry of terror. I wasn't able to _feel _it myself. I couldn't connect things together, match up the information I'd received with the facts I already knew. I couldn't _think_. Terror was gripping me with a force too dominant.

I'd been holding onto the phone with too much vigour, it felt like it would shatter any second. After pressing the phone to my ear again I looked down at the small screen. The text: _call ended_ flashed at me. I felt the hysteria inside me threaten to burst. I couldn't give up; not now.

I'd even forgotten _he _was beside me (and that was saying something). Edward - his entire figure emanating worry, his tense stance, taut jaw. He hadn't heard the conversation on the other end, only my disjointed questions to my father. He didn't understand. But as he stared at me, I could see him work it out. Undeniable worry radiated off him. Worry for _me_. I, who wasn't even in danger; I who was alive; I, who had a father inches away from death… my head began to whirr, my eyelids flickered.

"Lucie?" Edward's voice had passed concern now; it was too fervent for that. "Lucie, what's happened?"

I ignored him, swaying on my feet. A marble hand steadied me instantly. Abruptly, I snapped my eyes open, recoiling reflexively. He followed the movement too quickly - the same way Demetri had done, with an eerie, beautiful grace.

I held back my gasp, I couldn't cope with it. I couldn't cope with anything that reminded me of _him_. I flinched back from his cold touch, instead hitting the buttons on the phone, trying to redial. The simple act was difficult for me, my hands were shaking.

In fact, my whole _body _was shaking. Uncontrollably now, cold sweat hand formed in the palms of my hands, the phone slipped from my grasp. I saw it fall to the earth and as always when I dropped something - I froze. It skittered off a rock face hard, I fell to my knees, frantically trying to turn it back on, despite the crack that ran through it.

But it was completely dead, the screen remaining a resolute black. I cast my eyes towards Edward's, hoping that somehow he could fix it. I needed to redial that number - I had to find Demetri, I had to find him and get my father back. Whatever the costs. But when I focused on him, my previous hopes shattered. Edward looked as shocked as I felt, except the sight of him enraged something else inside me, not shock, _anger_. He'd seen it fall. Watched as my clumsily fingers had fumbled with the buttons and dropped the phone. And yet he had _vampire reflexes_. I bit back my scream, but was unable to completely keep the hysteria at bay when I rounded on him.

"Why didn't you catch it?!" I'd shot up, seething at him. The irrational anger was the only emotion I could use to dispel despair at the moment. The only thing that kept me from crumpling to the floor.

"I'm sorry - I was looking at-" He cut himself off, a look of disbelief flashing in his eyes.

I didn't wait for further explanation, Pacing away from him and hurling the useless device at a tree, where is merely bounced off, not smashing like I'd hoped. As soon as I'd thrown it though, my anger slipped. It was like the phone had been the cause it, and now that it had been thrown away; it too, had been discarded.

Which left me as little more than a broken shell.

I couldn't focus on Edward anymore - even if I wanted to.

Instead, now my vision was going black, the breath left my lungs in a _whoosh_, I could only see the crimson eyes set in that same, dead face.

My blood ran cold.

The ground swirled in an array of colours below me. Each too vivid - they hurt my eyes. Green. White. Black. _Red_. I could hear the anxious voice of Edward - but it was fainter each waning second. My eyes flickered, I wanted to scream. But I couldn't. I couldn't say a word.

The world tilted, I saw Edward's arms move out instantly to catch me. He pulled me into his arms, holding me as securely as if I'd been falling only to be snatched back from the precipice of a cliff - as apposed to just hitting the mossy ground. I felt myself slump against him, despite my will. I _hated _being like this, but I was physically exhausted - one could only run on adrenaline for so long.

I let my eyes drift shut; above me I heard a quiet sigh.

***

I didn't black out like I'd hoped, I'd remained awake - just unwilling to open my eyes. Even a brief moment of oblivion would have been better than this.

_Internal hell. _

I gave up with a frustrated sigh, hating myself for snapping at him, and regretting throwing the phone; there was no way it was going to work now. Thanks to me. I'd tried in the few moments in which I'd leant against him to compose my scattered thoughts. Trying to string together the information. Demetri had my father, he _wanted _me to know - else he wouldn't have said anything, my father had been cut off… and that's where my mind went black. Each time I tried to focus on the detail of the situation everything would slip further away, like when trying to grasp hold of a dream just before one awoke. I opened my eyes cautiously, expecting some form of anger from Edward, annoyance at my inattentive response. I was mistaken though.

Eyelashes like carbon spindled ink framed his sunlit eyes. A brilliant gold now, no longer the shadowed onyx they'd been previously. I couldn't speak again, but it wasn't because of the usual speech impediment that came when I stared at him; it wasn't because of my hitched breath that caused me unable to phrase coherent words; it wasn't even because I couldn't think when I stared at him - that his beauty had clouded my thoughts.

It wasn't any of those, it was because right now my lips trembled so violently that I was _afraid _to speak, scared that the only sound I'd manage to make would be a cry.

Or worse: a scream.

Eventually though I managed to speak, my voice was cracked, the stuttering unstoppable.

"I-I'm s-sorry - I didn't mean to… I just tried, I mean-" but I couldn't get anything else out except broken gasps - scarily close to sobs. Instead of continuing, I closed my tired eyes, resting against him - for once not caring what it meant or what trouble could arise because of the simple movement. There was still the fire at our touch, still the ice of his skin, but it was like they had combined in an explosion; formed an entirely new entity. Right now, I didn't care. I just wanted to melt into him, to forget the terror - even if it was for the briefest, most insignificant of moments.

Though I knew that when I was with him, nothing could be classified as insignificant.

"I'm sorry." I repeated again, the words barely audible.

Edward didn't say anything. As immobile as a statue when I leant against him, slowly though - gently, he prised me off his marble chest, using one finger to lift up my chin, forcing our gazes to meet. I felt my self - against my will - go pliant under the simple contact. Limp as his arms encircled me.

"Don't be sorry." He whispered softly.

"I shouldn't have slashed out like that - I shouldn't… you didn't have to…" I thought about fall again, the way his arms had moved at odds with his expression, like he couldn't have even stopped himself from catching me. Like it was instinctive - impetuous. "Do that." My words were still disjointed, Edward cut across before I could say anymore.

"Lucie," There was a sort of cracked humour to his tone, "do you really think I'd have just let you fall?" _Do you think I could have stopped myself? _The words weren't there, but I could tell he was thinking that - vampire mind gift or no vampire mind gift.

"You should have," I mumbled, "maybe hitting the floor would have done me some good." I felt the corners of my lips twitch slightly, Emmett would probably agree with me on that one. Edward gave a sheepish smile.

"I'm sorry - catching people is one of my talents." I thought back to the countless amounts of times I'd passed out around him. My words were slightly petulant when I mumbled a reply.

"I noticed."

"It didn't really help Lucie," He added, "that you were shaking too," Lightly, he traced his fingers over my small hands, stark white against the forest green, his voice was quiet again when he spoke. "You do that, don't you? Tremble when you're afraid." The first part was a question, but the latter was a statement.

I stared at him in half shock, half amazement. Not many people could read me like that, and I wasn't sure if I wanted Edward to be so perceptive. I revelled in the fact that he couldn't read my mind - it wasn't great news to hear that he could pick out habits of mine that would give clues to how I felt. That was dangerous. "Not afraid exactly," I said slowly, "just… I suppose it's like crying. When I'm overwhelmed or frustrated my hands shake a bit," No,_ a lot… _"It's a thing I get from dad…" I let my sentence trail off, casting my eyes downward - unwilling for him to see the pain in my eyes.

"We'll find him," I heard him whisper, "I'm good at that too you know - finding people." I could hear the smile in his tone. I looked up at him, my own voice quiet in the vastness of the forest

"And protecting people like me from sick-power-hungry-downright-creepy-vampires? That another talent too?"

He smiled like he was sharing a secret.

"_Je ne le manquerais pour rien au monde_." He whispered fluently, still with that curious smile adorning his lips.

My mouth suddenly felt very dry as the reminiscence washed over me.

_Forgotten words in French falling upon me before I fell asleep rose to mind. The plethora of notes cascading down into a symphony as he hummed under his breath. __"Je pense à toi, le soleil couchant." __My eyelids had fluttered shut at that point; I scoured my brain to find the other words, shimmering in and out of thought…"Chaque jour, une belle spectacle. Illumination; une lumèrie éblouissante…" _

It took me a few seconds after I'd remembered those softly whispered words to get my question out.

"You - ages ago," _Was _it ages ago? Time passed at odd rates for me, spits and spurts, as erratic as flame, constantly fighting with reality and dreams. "… You said something to me before, in French…" I trailed off; something in his expression told me he already knew what I was referring to.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said abruptly. The way he averted his gaze only confirmed my suspicion that he wasn't willing to tell me.

"You're a rubbish liar." I accused crossly, I was naturally inquisitive, and it was killing me that I didn't know what he'd said. _If I ever get through all this_, I vowed to myself, _I'm going to learn that flipping language_. _I'm going to learn it and then he won't be _able _to use cryptic sayings that I can't understand. _

I didn't bother pursuing the topic further, Edward was a stubborn mule. I knew he wouldn't give up easily. And I really did suck when it came to persuasion, so instead I let out a frustrated sigh, muttering to him - annoyed that he looked so amused.

"Fine, you stubborn vampire," I didn't get the response I'd wanted, instead of looking wounded or embarrassed he just looked _smug_. Ugh. "If you won't tell me or, 'can't remember'" I sketched quotation marks around the words, "Then was what does _that _mean? The thing you just said then…_Je ne manquerais pas _something_…_"

He gave me that same, sexy, secretive smile.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

***

We'd stayed like that for a while, just talking lightly. He was distracting me, somehow knowing that was what I needed right now. Both of us cross legged on the mossy floor, about a foot apart. I'd been quite content awhile ago, but now a feeling of impounding dread kept crushing me. My father was out there…and here I was, sitting, talking, and doing _nothing _to help him. However, the instant that my thoughts went down that path, Demetri's cruelly beautiful face obscured my mind. I blanched at the very _thought _of him.

And that just made me more frustrated. The fact that I was afraid of him. I didn't want to be afraid; I wanted to be confident, versatile, _strong_. So now when I saw Demetri in my mind's eye, I summoned the only other emotion that was evident. Rage. White hot rage at what he done, at how he'd ruined my life, and was trying to end my father's.

At this moment, I either looked too wan or just odd with angst thoughts about Demetri because when I looked to Edward, his concerned look was back. I frowned at him, abolishing the erratic images in my head. To be perfectly honest, I was getting pretty fed up of concern. It didn't _resolve _anything.

"Are you okay? Do you want to go back, Carlisle could probably-"

"I don't want to go back," I said crossly, "I want to skip off in that forest, save my father, find Demetri, _and_ _kill him_…" My voice held disgust mixed with a slight psychotic craze towards the end. But it was true; I _did _want to kill Demetri. There were several problems with this desire of mine however, namely that Demetri was darn strong and nearly impossible to kill. And a vampire. Whereas _I _was a human, pretty weak, and probably very easy to kill…

Okay, overall, the odds weren't exactly stacked in my favour. I'd been frowning through this entire train of thought, and hadn't been realising Edward was watching. I looked up at him, half surprised to find him staring at me and honestly quite shocked when an unexpected smile flitted at his lips.

"What?" I huffed, slumping against the trunk of the fir tree, sinking down onto the hard earth.

Edward flashed a brilliantly white grin, "Nothing - you're just surprisingly cute when planning to kill people." Typically, I flushed. Great. "Perhaps you should consider a career path as an assassin," I smiled despite myself, "not," Edward added, a frown creasing his ivory forehead, "that you _should _kill people. It's a dreadful sin."

"Demetri doesn't fall into the 'people' category," I muttered under my breath. "And besides, I'm very sinful anyway - I don't think one murder would do much damage."

His lips twitched like before, pulling his mouth into a sort wry and damn attractive smile. It was only after the sentence left my lips (and the few seconds in which I'd been, well, _gawking _at him) did I realise that he was distracting me. _Again_. Damn… he was good at that.

He chuckled at whatever expression I'd adorned. The sound alone could put an orchestra to shame.

"Sinful? How so?"

It was my turn to grin.

"I'm an axe murderer." I blurted out. He arched an eyebrow; instantly my grin disappeared. I glared at it.

"Liar," He whispered softly. I began to mentally chide my pulse - no, perhaps chide was the wrong word; if I'd been speaking aloud there'd probably be shouts actually. For some obscure reason it had decided to match the tempo of a bumble bee's wings - well, not quite _that _fast, I wasn't entirely sure how fast bumble bee's wings were, but they were fast enough.

He rose his hand, as if on compulsion to brush my cheek, but he stopped - froze actually, his hand paused in mid air. A flash of something alit his eyes, and I felt the tension thicken in the air between us. I stayed silent, my pulse thrumming in my ears. The previous humour had left the rapidly cooling air. I didn't remove my eyes from him as I spoke, my voice small now.

"What is it?" I whispered as his eyes focused on me again, I saw his anxiety shift slightly when he met my gaze. He held that for a moment - the small connection that we shared when our eyes met - before sighing and sweeping tousled hair from his eyes.

"Nothing - I thought I heard something, my mistake," With that, he smiled slowly, drawing me up closer to him, "Now, what's all this about you being a murderer?" I didn't laugh at his light humour. It wasn't _that _feeling that was currently pulsing through my veins, oh no, this emotion was the most dangerous, impossible one. The one I shouldn't - _couldn't _- feel for Edward. I felt a blush creep down my neck when I realised I couldn't look away from his gaze. Suddenly everything else seemed silent, all else around us was blurred. Only Edward remained, in sharp, brilliant clarity. I was staring at him so much that I was pretty sure that an elephant could have crossed the threshold fitted in a pink bikini and I wouldn't have noticed. I tried to remind myself that I was scared, and that moments before it looked as though he'd been too.

But that was becoming increasingly hard to do when I could feel how close we were.

His body was up against mine and even though there was fabric between us, it wasn't enough. I could feel the lean muscles of abdomen hard against me, the feel of his sharp _hip _bones against me, the indents like fingers had been pressed into marble. My breath caught in my throat, heart racing.

And all the while, my skin was ablaze.

***

**Edward's POV: (yet another shock huh? Hmm… maybe I'm trying to give you all heart attacks :p)**

Dangerous. That's what this was, I shouldn't have let myself get so close to her alone, even though my thirst was quenched this was still too damn _dangerous_. Potency was something that couldn't be diluted, and resisting temptation became increasingly more difficult with our close proximity.

That same unfathomable electricity sparked whenever we were this close, the very thing that made me want to flinch back… and enticed me further.

I pulled back, purposefully placing a good distance between us.

_It shouldn't have been so hard to do… _

"Well," She said, looking off into the distance, regaining her composure faster than I could - which was a worrying thought. "I could always go looking. I mean, dad said to not go into the woods, and - what with him being like you with the whole overly protective thing - _that _almost certainly means that they _are _in the woods, which means I should-" Typical of her to match up the logic like that, her father forbade her to go the woods, so she naturally felt compelled to so. I cut her off before she could come up with any other ridiculous sense that would only place her in further peril.

"No. No way." I spoke with an authority that I knew would annoy her, she hated being inferior. We did this a lot, it was how our conversations went, light hearted teasing and questions… it was something I'd never experienced with another human girl before. I had with Bella, but it was different with her - unconditional and forbidden love was what drove us together. Bella had been untouchable, which only heightened the temptation. With Lucie my relationship (and there wasn't any other word I could think of to describe it) was completely different. Anger mixed with passion, frustration and fervency… and one hell of a lot of confusion.

Even now though she didn't do what I'd expected, not pouting like a normal seventeen year old girl would, instead her delicate face twisted into a frown, an assessing one. As if she was trying to determine how she could fight around this flaw that prevented her from searching for her father. (The flaw being _me_.) She opened her mouth to protest, by my words were faster, "You are most certainly not going to go looking for them. At all. And I being 'overly protective' am needed when there are vampires stalking you." I said, still unable to grasp the thought behind her words. I was unable to even comprehend the mere prospect of her willing looking for the people who had taken her father. Willingly walking into danger…

She raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, so they're _stalking _me now are they?" Scepticism laced her tone, she was leaning back against the tree trunk, a slight breeze caused her golden hair to lift impatiently around her small face. Her fitted white shirt made her skin look more toned, unblemished as a bowl of fresh cream. She caught me staring at her, and her delicate eyebrows rose higher into her forehead. I hadn't replied. A question burned in my eyes as I noticed these insignificant features about her: _why can she distract me like this?_

She distracted me all the time, and she didn't even realise she was doing it.

"Lucie, they're intent on capturing you for some reason; to prove their point they've taken your father as hostage; they've got their best tracker to trace you; and they've somehow starred in each of your disturbing dreams. Overall, I think that can only be described as: stalking."

She shut up at that.

"You're staying right _here_." I moved closer for emphasis. She scowled at me.

"You're so…" She struggled for a word for a minute, an adorable flustered look falling across her face, "_pushy.._. pushy and snappy." Snappy? That was certainly a new term, maybe I was a crocodile.

I adopted a wounded air, "Pushy? I wouldn't say that… persistent maybe, assertive yes, but not _pushy_…"

She let out a sound suspiciously close to a snort at that.

"Edward, there is no way on earth that you cannot be described as pushy. In fact, the term 'pushy' epitomises you perfectly." I didn't bother arguing with her, I didn't want to for some reason. Her eyes were bright now, an ivy green in her kitten like anger. I looked away. _Stop looking at her like that._

"You can't read my mind…" She said after a long pause. It wasn't a question; she sounded as though she was merely musing to herself, but she was right. I _couldn't. _It wasn't something I was particularly proud of - a weakness really. One of my faults. I continued to look at her, she was staring off into the distance - thinking. And I couldn't hear, couldn't even _guess _at what her mind held.

It was _beyond _infuriating.

"So am I right in saying that if I was considering to leave _right now_, you wouldn't know?"

Heck, I knew if Lucie left now _I'd _just become the obsessed creepy stalker. I should have felt ashamed off this; but wasn't. She _needed _protecting. It wasn't right for her to suffer, and she needed defending from those who planned to gain power at her expense. I knew she was not as accident prone as Bella, but still, in many ways she was just as weak. And somehow at the epicentre to chaos all the time.

Bella. The errant thought of her made me instantly tense, nervous. I didn't fare well away from her, always on edge, always wanting to run to her, to protect her. That pull, that draw - it was always there. It never faded… but I tried to stop it. Bitterness swarmed up whenever I thought about her not only having _one _protector.

I shook off those thoughts; they only left me brooding and angst ridden. "Well, you might have foiled your plan slightly in suggesting that," I said dryly, I ran a hand through my hair, letting my frustration show slightly through a small sigh that escaped my lips. "No Lucie, I can't read your mind. It's like it's wrapped up in some sort of sheaf - not impenetrable, but I can't understand your actions and the thoughts that fit them. And then when you sleep… all of your guard falls away. I think that's how I can see your dreams, the only time you're completely defenceless is when you sleep."

I hadn't realised she'd stopped her ranting and interrupting, through an impatient interruption until I'd finished. She was staring at me, the expression on her face a complete enigma to me.

"I don't like that: being defenceless." She whispered, vulnerability seeping through her normal strong and determined demeanour.

"I'm always there to protect you." The words slipped from my lips. Her eyes - a crystal green agate still - widened in something I still didn't understand. Something that drove me crazy. _What I would give to hear what she was thinking…_

"Cheesy Edward. Cheesy." She managed to say, her words slightly mumbled. Cheesy huh? _So why was she blushing? _The blood pooling in her fair cheeks, a colour both beautiful and deadly. The long and sadistic dormant inside me stirred restlessly, always ready, always waiting…

Even now, she was so delicate. I often forgot that; her determination obliterated any thoughts of her as weak. I'd never met determination like hers, such _persistence_. But physically - I knew she was frail. She was a human, and humans were little more than spun glass - if they were held too tight, they would shatter.

_So when are you going to let her go?_

I had a frightening thought to that answer question, and it was burning in me with a brilliant - and dangerous - fervency.

_Never_.

But then I heard it, the same sound I'd shaken off earlier. A faint rustle in the distance. Except now it wasn't faint, it was louder.

_Closer_.

It wasn't alone now, I could hear the thoughts, the murmurs, saw his plan… I looked at Lucie with wide eyes, suddenly terrified of what I'd gotten her into.

_They were here._

***

**Lucie's POV: (switchety, switchety today huh?) **

Underneath men (and yes, I mean _underneath_. He'd just grabbed me up without a seconds warning, making me shriek slightly only to have his ice palm pressed tight against my lips to smother the sound) I felt his entire frame tense. The supple skin on his marble hands suddenly taught enough to see the tendons clearly; he was poised as if to spring. Shifting so that I was shielded by him.

Something was wrong.

And that's when I saw him.

A figure, horribly familiar, shrouded in a cloak darker than a starless sky, that trailed along the mossy overgrown ground silently as he walked, purposefully towards us.

Edward was the first to speak.

"_Felix_." His acknowledgement held antipathy. So that's who he was. My breathing became more ragged, too noticeable. My insides squirmed when I saw who the figure was staring at. _Me_. I didn't look closely at his face, scared he would see the raw fear in my eyes.

"Edward," Felix drawled casually in a reply, stepping closer - away from the shadows - and coming into full view.

I bit back my gasp. Felix was _huge_. The same size as Emmett, but worse - it was like his malice made him bigger, the prominent muscles more pronounced, more powerful. Like he could sense my gaze, he looked at me, and when our eyes met I felt dizzy, he had eyes so dark that the iris seemed to melt into the pupil. He was _thirsty_. But his eyes were cast to Edward now - like he was bored of me. Unimpressed.

And for some reason, that only made everything all the more terrifying.

"You know you can make this so much _easier _Edward," Drawled out Felix, "I don't see why you've turned to be so… protective of these mere humans," A sudden ache of hatred went through me at the sound of Felix's voice - how it seemed pleased at the situation, but I couldn't do anything. Hatred was no longer a strong emotion where I was concerned. Not when it was tainted with fear.

Edward pushed me further behind him, emitting a low growl as he stared at the other vampire.

"She _isn't _a mere human."

He let out a silky laugh, "Oh ho, here comes out your protectiveness again, or should I say… _obsession_. Always the humans then?" He let the leer remain on his face for a while longer, before dropping it completely. His expression now hard - business like. "I don't have time for games Edward, either you hand the girl over willingly - or we take her by force." I didn't miss the plural in his words.

"She is not property Felix. And there's no way your touching her."

"We'll see about that, and if she's not property, then why are you keeping her?"

"What? I'm trying to-" But I didn't get to hear what Edward was trying to do, I side stepped him, glaring at Felix and ignoring the stab of fear that the very sight of him produced.

"Where's my father?" My voice shook. A twisted parody of a grin adorned his lips. Lips incidentally, that were a deep crimson. I had to quell a shudder at the sight. I couldn't appear weak - not now. Felix didn't reply to me, and a I had a sudden urge to scream at him for answers. I tried to run at him, wanting to demand where he was, what they'd done to him and why they'd taken him.

But I never made it.

Felix had _launched _himself at us, his jump looking like the flight of a raven with his dark cloak and robes billowing around him and before I could think enough to breathe, Edward had thrown me to the side, shielding me from the brunt if the impact. I saw them collide, a terrifying clash that made my stomach twist in worry. But it was my own that caused me to shout out in bewilderment. I'd hit a tree, a branch digging into the exposed skin on my arm, a searing pain stabbing me.

But I couldn't concentrate on that, Felix hit Edward, his once beautiful face now a twisted bestial expression. But Edward's act in protecting me, saving m, left in a pain that I didn't want to think about. I felt my knees go completely weak. My entire frame crumpled to the earthy floor, the pain from hitting the ground came late to my senses, less of a sharp stab through my legs - instead just a dull throb. I could hear snarls, growls, noises above me.

Desperately, I tried to stand up, ignoring the ache of my head and the pulsating pain in my left arm. Vertigo hit when I scrambled to my feet. But I could see him; I could see _them _- Edward and Felix fighting each other, their movements terrifyingly deadly, a synchronised pattern back and forth. It was terrifying, yet at the same time, I couldn't look away. Their lissom movements enraptured me. An alluring art that rendered me immobile. Frozen as their dance became fiercer - more deadly.

Suddenly, there was a break in their pattern, for a second I thought one was wounded - fear spiked through me. _Was Edward hurt? _I tried to get a closer look at him, but before I could even blink, he had jumped - no _pounced _- with such speed that he was just a blur, it was the most agile, swift, and undeniably _inhuman _movement I'd seen in my entire life.

Until a second later.

It was like Felix had anticipated the move. Nothing was in slow motion like films - but it was like I could see each detail in their movements. Everything was moving so fast - and yet somehow I could pinpoint each strike. The clarity of it all terrified me. This wasn't a game, this wasn't a dream, this was _real_.

Felix had crouched the instant Edward had sprung - he'd expected it. And now, he moved with such agile grace (not speed like Edward's, Felix seemed to have experience in fighting - his blows weren't necessarily more dexterous than Edward's - but they were more accurate: deadly precision with each and every blow) that he became no more substantial than shadow, still adorned in the same dark cloak.

Pain flooded through me as I watched Felix hit him in the chest. And I was just _standing there_… I saw Edward stagger backwards, but, quick as lightening; Felix was next to him again, lifting him up with one hand like he weighed no more than an average cat. I saw him hurl Edward at a tree with bone crashing force but what happened next was a complete blur.

I should have shouted, screamed, _ran _- they were my rational options, the ones that provided a small possibility of me living. I didn't do that though - rationality clearly wasn't on my side at the moment.

My vision suddenly became tunnelled; I could only see my target - the person at this moment I was planning to choke to death. I ran at him. Ran at _Felix _(an elite member of the Volturi guard who was twice the size of me) with a rage that somehow gave me energy.

Irrational courage swept through me like a fever as the unfathomable adrenaline shot through my veins. I didn't even think as I jumped at him - there wasn't time for that - and didn't foresee what my actions would culminate in. I just knew he was hurting Edward, trying to _kill _him. And I couldn't let that happen. A sharp intake of breath came from Edward as he realised what I was about to do, but it was too late.

"Lucie - _no_!" Edward's shout was muffled as I collided with Felix, punching every inch of him I could reach.

He moved like a viper, faster than my eyes could follow, easily missing my blows. He brought his own hand down and hit me in the abdomen, with a movement as casual as swatting insects.

And like a leaf caught in a current, I was whisked off my feet, winded as I collided with something cold and hard.

"No, we need the girl. _Alive, _Felix," Grunted the cold and hard object I'd hit against. I whirled around in panic, and yet somehow I already knew who was suspending me. I couldn't forget _that _voice. The crimson eyes shone back at me, lips curling into a sadistic leer. _Demetri_.

Well, crud.

I screamed at him, irrationally kicking to make him drop me. Demetri didn't even seem to notice, but I felt his grip around me - not gentle like Edward's, but hard and constricted - tighten. My breathing became ragged, as utter fear pursued me.

Demetri gripped me tighter still, his skin coarse and rough against my arms. The irrational fear bubbled up again, I felt like I was about to faint. I couldn't deal with him holding me like that, I couldn't _cope_.

"Let. Me. _Go_." My clipped sentences were half out of rage, and half out of fear. I prayed the latter wasn't too noticeable.

He acknowledged me this time, a sardonic smile falling over his lips as he surveyed me. "Smart move that - jumping at Felix, I can see why he wants you." I didn't ask who 'he' was, but I felt a leaden sickening surpass me when Aro's name came to mind. I didn't reply to his words, instead, resuming my kicks and screaming at him - hoping against hope that he couldn't hear the raw fear in my voice.

"I said: _Let me go_!" I tried to hit his face, damage his eyes - but a hand gripped mine in the movement. I recoiled like I'd been burnt, but he didn't relinquish his grip.

"What would be the fun in that?" His voice was like honey, thick and too sweet, but it was darker than that. A treacle tainted with something dark and sinister. I shuddered at the sound of it, having heard it repeatedly in my dreams - my _nightmares_. He smiled again after I shuddered, obviously revelling in my fear, bile rose in my throat.

He continued talking to me, like he was at a party and just chatting up the next girl in sight - instead of intending to kidnap me and watching his fellow colleague try to kill someone in the middle of a forest.

"Besides, we _need _you Luciana. Pretty boy on the other hand-" he gestured lazily behind him, to where I knew Edward and Felix were still fighting, "is more disposable than we first thought…"

My scream of terror leave my lips in a choked gasp, I felt light-headed. I couldn't see Edward or Felix now, couldn't tell who was winning or losing, Demetri blocked my line of sight, but his eyes weren't directed on me anymore.

Something had happened.

His arms became stiff. I strained my ears but I couldn't even _hear _their growls now, there was a ringing in my ears that prevented that. It accompanied by a metallic, pungent smell. And a smarting pain in my left arm. I should have pieced these together faster. By the time I looked at my arm it was probably too late. The light-headedness, the metallic scent fresh on the air, the pulsating throb…

I felt more air leave me when I looked down. The coppery scent was overpowering. My entire left arm was coated in blood. I must have hit something when I fell. My heartbeat was unsteady, irregular - the same toll of a broken metronome.

"Damn!" Demetri hissed, I was going to go mad in a minute if I didn't get to see what the hell was happening. All I was faced with was the dark heavy fabric of Demetri's attire. It smelt like blood - or maybe that was just my arm, hang on, why the heck wasn't Demetri trying to eat me?! I stopped my stupid panicked thoughts when I heard Demetri's next words "There are more Felix - I hear them coming."

Hope burst though my darkness, a tiny brilliant white light against the perpetual black, only to be smothered seconds later by Felix's guttural snarl - was he still fighting?

"I need to finish this off Demetri," Felix said with a grunt, doing something I couldn't see, "I'll catch up near Rome." A pause, and then: "Take the girl." It took a second before the words fully sank in.

"What?!" I shrieked, "No! No you _can't_!" Rome? I was being taken to _Italy_?! I began to kick again, but my attempts utterly futile, Demetri remained completely unfazed. He'd moved slightly, and I could see Felix - around ten feet away, standing upright completely unharmed - though his eyes continued to flicker to a point past my line of sight. But still, the fact remained:_ I couldn't see Edward. _This, alone, had me terrified.

To my horror Demetri suddenly swept me into his arms, like he was cradling me. A twisted cradle in which I was bound by strong arms, and only able to see his leering smile. He leant forwards as if to kiss me, and I felt nauseous, afraid that I would pass out. I couldn't let that happen, not with what was happening. But to my relief, he didn't kiss me, merely whispered against my ear, his cool breath fanning over the exposed skin on my neck, sending multiple shivers through me.

"I can and I _will_."

And then he was running, so fast that I couldn't turn my head - like when a plane ascends - terminal velocity meant that my head was forced into the fabric of Demetri's coat - or whatever the half cloth half leather material was mean to be.

I gripped onto the one thing that could work - the only possible way to affect him. _Humanity_. I had to bring some of this in him, it was the only way I could connect - reach him on a level that would make him stop. Because if I didn't do it soon, escape would be impossible. My voice shook as I spoke - but I managed to get the words out with enough clarity. I knew he could hear.

"I saw your past Demetri, don't turn out like you father."

I don't know what I expected to happened after I'd said those words. But suddenly Demetri stopped, and if his arms hadn't been gripping me, I was sure I would have hurtled off forward like in a car crash. But he stopped, everything stopped, his stance was rigid, and he wasn't breathing.

I definitely hadn't expected this.

For a moment I thought he was going to let me go, place me on the ground and realise that what he was doing was wrong. He didn't do that either. Instead, he angled my face towards him - so that I was forced to look into his eyes, a vampire burgundy, with crimson rings.

"I am not like my father." His voice was different from before - still a low, dark bass - but tinged slightly, I searched his expression and found something that I'd never associate with him, never associate with any of the Volturi in fact. _Vulnerability_.

"But you are," I continued, trying to keep my voice soft instead of broken and scared, "you're just like him. What you're doing, what you _intend _to do-" He cut me off, his voice a rough growl.

"_No_."

But I carried on.

"Don't take me, don't be like _him_." I could see the anger in his eyes, and I knew in provoking him like this, I could easily get hurt. But he'd haltered, he'd stopped. I had to continue… I just needed to stop him long enough. My voice was agitated - the words tumbling out of my mouth without thinking through, "Remember all those times you were scared, each time that you wished he'd stopped, that you prayed he'd leave you and your mother. There was a fire wasn't there? He locked your mother in her room, set alight the door, and left-"

"_Stop it!_" Raw pain scraped through his normal collected demeanour; it shocked me so much that I was rendered silent. "I am _nothing _like him, this is different. I'm on orders, I have to obey - and I shall. You're no more than a human girl, despite pretty boy's views on you-" He began to move again, not a run yet, but a purposeful, furious stride towards his destination.

He was gripping me too tightly now, I felt his nails dig into my arms leaving small moons on my alabaster skin - a stark white against the ribboned red.

"You can't make me feel _remorse _little girl, I _hate _my father, it was a pleasure killing him - the best act I've done in my life. I was vengeful, patricide quenched that particular thirst." He breathed in my scent at the hollow of my throat, "not that I don't have other thirsts too…" His dark words made me feel sick; the pressure from his arms against my skin combined with the amount of blood I'd already lost made me dizzier than ever. In many ways I was _glad _he was hurting me (as illogical as it seemed) the pain brought things back into focus with a clear, sharp clarity. I couldn't lose conscience - else Demetri would win.

I tried to say something - _anything_ - but no words came out, my throat felt constricted, bone dry.

"But _you_? You stole my memories, ransacked my head and saw what's mine, what's _private_." He glared at me, his eyes darkening, a burgundy black inferno. "I can't forgive you for that. Just like I can't forgive my father. There's one thing you should know about me, Luciana, I'm not _forgiving_." Guilt hit me then. Stupid irrational guilt. Here stood a vampire who had made several threats to kill me on a myriad of occasions and I was feeling _guilty_?

"I- I couldn't control it-"

He didn't listen to me, just continuing on his pent up anger, flowing out of him in agitation - again, almost too fast for me to catch.

"I don't know why Aro even _wants _you." He said with a sneer, "everyone's talking about you the 'gifted mortal' … is that how you've managed to sway pretty boy too? Your gift to pillage people's pasts?" I could here the suppressed rage shaking in his voice. I didn't know how to react. He was irate - ready to snap under the slightest pressure.

He began moving again, his footsteps as fast as his words. I was paralysed in shock, numb to everything except the smarting pain in my arm.

"…Little did he know that in accepting you - _caring _for you… that he would lead to destroying you. Destruction is the only thing that flourishes from _that _emotion, but I suppose mortals like you wouldn't realise that. Still, I would have thought pretty boy would have had some more common sense - not that I'm objecting. Things have played out quite nicely really. It's always easier when the prey is blind, you see." He gave me a bestial grin.

"Wh-what?" I spluttered slightly, my throat still painfully tight, "What do you mean?"

"He's going to have to chose Lucie," He said before running faster, pressing me flat against him, his iron grip never depleting. My sparse breath was becoming harder and harder to control, my pulse skyrocketing. He continued talking, his words almost too fast for me to catch.

"Without realising that it isn't even his choice to make...whatever he chooses; we'll still get you. Aro was adamant about _that_. Though I can't argue on the fact that a little suffering from Edward" - that had to be the first time I'd heard him say his name - "wouldn't be amusing as well. Heidi should enjoy that…"

I barely caught his last words, spoken with a kind of mutated glee, while the roaring wind rushing in my ears.

"Yes, Aro _will _be pleased."

_***_

**I think I'm going to cackle. Yes, I feel like cackling. *cackles***

**I ended it there! Ha! My initial plan was to end it somewhere else further on (which would have meant a long chapter)… but didn't. You're lucky though; my initial plan was to leave you with a **_**really **_**suspense-and-I-need-more-right-NOW- cliffy! I'd have gotten tonnes of disapproving grunts in reviews. (ha. Not that I get many grunts in reviews… a shame that. :p) **

**So… I'll let your imagination run wild. I won't comment much on the chapter apart from the fact that every single time I wrote 'Felix' the image of a black and white cat popped into mind and refused to leave. (to be honest it really didn't help - a sadistic black and white cat, though pretty scary, just doesn't have the same impact as a big creepy vampire.) I had a hard time refraining myself from making Felix purr and chase mice.**

**Listen (okay, no - **_**read**_**) I am perfectly aware that this is a late update, but I officially have an excuse that simply cannot be argued against. On last Saturday afternoon I went to none other than possibly one of my most favourite shops in the entire world. *Wait for it..* **_**Waterstones**_**. Yeah, a book shop. Figures. (My other favourites? Ha. **_**Borders**_**, **_**WHSmith **_**- basically any where that sells books really) **

**Anyway, I go into **_**Waterstones**_**, with my newly acquired money from baby sitting a load of midgets (my terminology for small, pesky, children) and I intend to find a new book to get lost in. I found **_**Hunted **_**from the **_**A House of Night Series **_**and instantly deemed the trip a success already, and then I proceeded onto buying both **_**Ink Exchange **_**and **_**Fragile Eternity, **_**and THEN I very nearly screamed in joy right in the middle of **_**Waterstones **_**(trust me, I already had a lot of odd looks from people, at this point I was carrying around 5 books - and that's excluding the one's I've mentioned. So I had 8 or so books placed precariously in my arms, and I probably looked creepy. Anyone who carries lots of books and smiles like they've found enlightenment is classified as creepy :p) **

**Why did I very nearly drop all the books? Because, just as I thought I couldn't find anything else I wanted to buy (well no, that's a lie. I want ALL of **_**Waterstones**_**. One day I'll have it. Mark my words…) I saw none other than THE CITY OF GLASS! Gah! Seriously, I didn't think that book was out until the 7****th****of July! And then there it was, staring back at me, and YAY!!!!**

**I got a PAPER CUT on my copy of **_**The City Of Glass**_**. (I suppose the irony would have been better if the same predicament happened when reading**_** New Moon **_**:p) Yeah. A paper cut. How? Well, if you have the book, turn to page 261, where everything is SO DARN TENSE… I was so impatient to see what happened, I evidently turned the page to fast, and then heck, there were droplets of blood splattering the book. The book was obviously trying to stop me reading… it didn't succeed. I ignored the stupid pain, only realising after reading the next to pages that jeeesh, when I get a paper cut - I bleed **_**a lot**_**. Copiously actually. And I didn't think I needed any more blood on the book, so I had to reluctantly search for a plaster. No such luck presented itself on my quest, and I ended up with wrapping a wad of kitchen paper round my forefinger and securing it with a rubber band. Mentally agreeing with my thoughts that getting an infected finger was utterly worthwhile when paired with reading.**

**Yup. An excellent doctor **_**I'd **_**make huh? :p **

**Anyway, alack, I'm a stupid fast reader (I don't even skim read) and by 3.00am the City Of Glass. Was. Finished. I'm now in mourning mode - and somehow this only spurred me onward to finish every single book I bought. So now I'm done. There goes my excuse for not updating. I was reading… (and if you haven't already read the Mortal Instruments Trilogy - I really recommend it.) **

**Ooohh! I drew a picture by the way, of Edward and Lucie and how I imagined them. I promise that when I get a new camera I'll upload it on here, so you can all see what Lucie looks like in my head. ;) Aha! I remember something - lots of you comment on Lucie's inability to raise an eyebrow… yeah, guess where that trait came from? ME. I can't. And it's (to use Edward's terminology) **_**beyond **_**infuriating… I speant half an hour the other day in front of the mirror CONVINCED I'd learn how to do it. No so such luck came though, halfway through attempting to do it, a 6 year old midget told me that my face looked scary…**

**Yup. Scary. That's what happens when you put me and one eyebrow raising together. (and jeesh, if you think that's bad, heck, you should see me playing wink murder. EPIC FAIL. I can't wink… ha. I end up blinking furiously :o Oh, what attractive facial expressions I have! :D) **

**Also, it was. Too. Damn. Hot! Honestly, I can't cope in heat… I just frazzle up. (which isn't too good as next week I'm going to Spain - oh crud. If I don't update before then… just wait till I get back. Rest assured I'm not gallivanting off anytime soon *cue the sighs of disappointment.*)**

**Oh! And to everyone who gave a quote, yay! *passes out cookies* I don't have a challenge today, I've got a question instead: What's your favourite beverage? (Jade *coughreadherROSAfanfic!cough*and I recently discovered Green Tea with Mango - it's quite tasty, you should all give it a try. ;)**

**Now, I'm awwhhll sleepy. Do you think this chapter can boost the story up to 1000 reviews? Will my dream of being on one of those 1000+ reviews communities finally come true?! - these are the questions that will prevent sleep. (I should stop thinking.) Oh! And have a very happy Summer Holiday if you're one of those lucky people who isn't at school *jealously threatens to burst* - I, myself, am still stuck at school, with an entire week of exams ahead of me. Life's tough. :p) **

**REVIEW! :)**

**Lily - who thinks that if you like nelephants (who CAN'T like nelephants?! That's **_**sacrilege**_**!) you should review. Who knows? Perhaps a nelephant will greet you if you do :p (… mhmm… and the whole insanity issue? She thinks it's getting worse….)**


	37. The Chasm Of Chaos

**Heyyys! **

**I AM ALIVE! - Though, theoretically, I could have been transformed into a pig by now. **

**Before I start to grovel, thank you SO MUCH for all the reviews OVER 1000! YAYY! I'm completely baffled at the response this story's gotten. It only took 317,911 words in 36 ludicrously long chapters… **_**but it's finally got there! **_**You all deserve both a nelephant and a very unique demonic penguin. I really didn't believe I'd ever get over 1000 reviews. This a dream come true. I just hope everyone's not going to not review from now on because of this, please remember they're the best inspirations (yeah, you've officially beaten Mouse) Reviews = fast updates…**

**Ah, speaking of fast updates…**

**There are a tremendous amount of excuses as to why this update is so late. I won't give them all, because you'd be bored to death, and I'd end up writing more in the A/N (ha. Did you know I actually have to **_**suppress **_**this babbling habit of mine? I'm not kidding, if I didn't, then there'd be 20,000 word length chapters, half of which - more than half probably - would be me rambling about something entirely pointless. If it's irritating, just say in a review… I'll decrease it…as much as humanely possible…) than the actual chapter. So I'll give you a much more simplified version:**

**I went on all my holidays, first to Spain with a ridiculous amount of midgets (my small stepsisters and my sister) who, incidentally, all planned to kill me halfway through the holiday. *they all joined this sort of… cult* Their attempts were futile (mainly because, c'mon, to **_**kill **_**me you've got to be smart, *snort*) They included: Pushing me into the swimming pool, **_**at night **_**after we'd eaten, unawares; boring me to death with their countless and tedious games that were extremely repetitive; and (probably the most painful of the three) **_**singing **_**to me until I screamed for them to stop.**

**I then immediately went to see my cousins (which included a trip to a sinister place known as Monkey World. You'd never guess what it withheld :p) then I went to Wales to see the new Harry Potter film, and laughed at all the inappropriate moments. nearly choking when Dumbledore pronounced 'bezaor' as 'bezzor' … (ha. And cue the confusion about**_**-what-the-hell-I'm-going-on-about**_**…)**

_**Then, **_**I got back, intending to update only to find out that my cat had died. (I go on about that at the bottom…) After I'd **_**recovered**_**, I went to Cornwall, got thoroughly sunburnt again (not tanned. Whatsoever. Despite going to Spain in the summer and miraculously experiencing a non-rainy temperate in Cornwall. I. Didn't. Tan. At. **_**All**_**.) **

**AND THEN…. *wait for it….* My entire family (save myself) caught… SWINE FLU. Yeah. The pandemic that I couldn't stop making jokes about. (A lesson to be learned there, **_**thou shalt not mock the power of almighty Swine Flu**_**…) **

**Even a **_**reviewer **_**made a joke about it! "'She let out a sound suspiciously close to a snort at that'**

**Lucie has SWINE FLU! (sorry, had to do it)" - NeverForgetYourSocks, lookwhathappened! I blame YOU for the misfortune of Swine Flu bestowed upon our household! Just kidding - it's me and my bad luck (well, not **_**my **_**bad luck, I remained healthy. Perhaps I'm just… talented at evading such pandemics :p)**

**My family are fine now - as am I - but they definitely got it, and - due to some doubtless supernatural power I posses - …I didn't. It's pretty odd… we kept waiting for me to just… collapse with the Swine Flu symptoms, but they never arrived. My friend from Wales passed it to us and I spent most of my time with her (and still didn't get it?!) so… yup. I'm a medical anomaly. It's actually bad I didn't get it because I've been told (when I was eating my lunch) that the virus will mutate over the winter and it's best to catch it earlier when it's mild so that you become immune to it. (And yes - **_**this **_**is what my family talks about when eating lunch, and is commonly the reason why I don't invite friends over :p) **

**And then I was deduced to shopping for school supplies non stop and experiencing really annoying sinusitis. Annnnnddd Arfff! You would have had this chapter on Saturday, but you didn't, want to know why? My friend has serious asthma with complications. She got that dreaded Swine Flu … and then everything got worse.**

**Normally it's not that serious. You just feel very lethargic for 5 days, (my dad claimed that he always feels lethargic and was wondering if he had permanent Swine Flu, I said "No, you're just lazy." He denies this and keeps muttering that **_**I've **_**obviously aged him more when I randomly start to babble to him about nelephants) and you get a bad chest or cough. (Though it differs from person to person.) With her, she ended up fainting all the time. Her asthma became so that every other minute she would start wheezing, and she had to take around 5 different pills to stop it. Her food intolerances got worse… basically, she got sick. This meant, the trip she was planning to go on to Iceland (it involved 5 day treks…) well, she couldn't go on that either. So on top of all of that, she got **_**depressed**_**.**

**And thus, **_**I **_**was summoned. She's okay now, and thoroughly cheered up after 4 days non stop giggling about very random things and getting no sleep from making spoofs in the middle of the night. Anyway - that's another excuse for you. I'm very sorry.**

**Basically, my holiday has been preeeeettty busy. Which is my excuse for the late update. Everything's in order now, so I promise that this will NEVER happened again. Okay? **

**I'll shut up with my pathetic excuses, go ahead and read the chapter. Thanks for being so patient. You're much better than I am… I am the **_**epitome **_**of impatient. Oh, and just a warning, this chapter is **_**ridiculously **_**long (not to mention the sheer scale of my babble today :S)… sorry about that. **

**Arrfff! I **_**will **_**be quiet now, enjoy! **

What Happened Last Chapter:

"Wh-what?" I spluttered slightly, my throat still painfully tight, "What do you mean?"

"He's going to have to chose Lucie," He said before running faster, pressing me flat against him, his iron grip never depleting. My sparse breath was becoming harder and harder to control, my pulse skyrocketing. He continued talking, his words almost too fast for me to catch.

"Without realising that it isn't even his choice to make...whatever he chooses; we'll still get you. Aro was adamant about that. Though I can't argue on the fact that a little suffering from Edward" - that had to be the first time I'd heard him say his name - "wouldn't be amusing as well. Heidi should enjoy that…"

I barely caught his last words, spoken with a kind of mutated glee, while the roaring wind rushing in my ears.

"Yes, Aro _will _be pleased."

***

**The Chasm of Chaos**

A sensation that I hate most is immobility. To me, it represents little less than helplessness. Stuck in a situation where you cannot move, talk, or breathe. I was like that. Trapped, frozen, _immobile_. Demetri was running faster still and yet I wasn't fighting back. I wasn't screaming for help, not even trying to stop him. I wanted to, but I _couldn't_. It was like the blood in my veins had been replaced by ice - leaving me inert in Demetri's perversion of an embrace, as he sped through the trees, determined to deliver me to his master.

I knew I ought to be talking, trying to persuade him to stop… but I couldn't. Something was tight in m throat, preventing speech. I watched the green blur of the forest as he ran, and if the predicament wasn't so terrifying, I might have enjoyed the experience. The eerie beauty such a place seemed to possess and the speed, the feeling of being free.

Yet there was no way you could describe being held in an iron hard grip by a vampire as _free_.

"_Desiderio corrompe. Tentazione poteri. Tenebre consuma. Luce divora_…."

Demetri's words had broken the silence. He'd sang the chant in fluid Italian. Desire corrupts, Temptation powers - my mind felt too sluggish to remember the last two. Though it was not the dark words that made me shiver, instead the fervour in which he said them. He seemed to brake out of his thoughts when he turned to me, still never breaking is speed.

"It's ironic how true that is, isn't?" He grinned at me, breathing heavily against my cheek. My stomach turned at the smell of his breath. The foul odour of stale blood now lay thick in the minimal air between us. My reaction to the scent formed in a callous sentence that bubbled from my lips before I could stop it.

"Well, it's more ironic that you smell like a corpse,"

Demetri hissed at me, revealing the sharp white teeth that I knew could bite through fresh as easily as butter.

"Tsk, tsk, it appears your etiquette is poorer than I'd suspected." He said tauntingly. "You really are rather unfortunate: a scrawny child; mundane looks; bad balance and virtually no grace; somewhat anaemic… again, I have no idea what Pretty Boy Cullen saw in you," I noted the past tense, and fear hit me sharply again. "He was better off with that Bella, she at least had looks. Too bad we have you both now," I stared at him, instantly forgetting to compose my features. They had Bella. This fact seemed only just hit me, and I was left stunned by it. Regret and guilt eating away at my insides.

Demetri didn't notice my inner turmoil, he continued in a drawl. "You know, I was _going _to provide some light entertainment on our trek Luciana," The tone of his voice was darker now, "but if you don't improve you manners more, then our little regime's going to change slightly. Aro wants you, and I shall provide you. He never mentioned anything about needing you _whole_…" He leered again, "I'm sure a few cuts and scrapes would easily go amiss, don't you?"

"No. Not really…" My voice didn't waver like I thought it would, but I knew that staying silent wasn't going to help anything. He wanted me to _retaliate _to his words, so retaliate I would. _If I could just get him to slow down… _I looked up at him through my quivering eyelashes; I was feeling a warped vertigo from being suspended at this level. I lay my chance at trying to make him stop in my next words, simple, but powerful.

"_Why are you doing this?_" I mentally kicked myself after I'd said it, I'd let too much fear bleed into my voice.

He didn't answer me. I pressed on, determined to figure something out about him. To see if all of him was bad.

"You didn't _have _to do all that. Take my father, capture me and deliver me like food. You could stop this… you could leave Aro. Don't be so _compliant_. Darkness isn't the only life for a vampire. Why are you so intent on becoming him?"

"I am not intent on becoming Aro." He snapped icily.

"Not him, _your father_…" That hang on the air, Demetri looked at me for a fraction of a second. And I saw him differently, he was altered - no longer the sadistic vampire. His dilated pupils seemed wide in fear, and I could imagine the little boy again. Frightened and alone. He seemed to see something in my expression. Shock? Surprise? _Sympathy_? And then he was scowling at me, only contempt in his expression, all previous emotions wiped away.

"Well, desire _does _corrupt," He said quietly, going back to the chant he'd said before. Abruptly, I felt angry at him. He refused to believe that he was acting to me just how his father acted to him. The father he _despised_.

"How fascinating." The muttered sarcastic comment slipped through my lips before I could repress it.

Suddenly Demetri pressed a sharp nail to my forearm, and I couldn't stop the wince that escaped me at the contact.

"I wouldn't be so quick to unleash such words Luciana; they're not very wise, with your… predicament." His voice had become silkily smooth and thick. "Where was I? Oh yes, _desire corrupts_. You do not understand, do you? Ignorant as you are."

"Ignorance beats incompetence any day." I muttered, my fear spiking higher still when I unleashed my tongue. I _hated _this. But it was the only way I could get some time to think. Fortunately, he didn't seem as angered as when I'd spoken out of tone before, instead continuing as if I hadn't spoken.

"If I were incompetent Luciana, you wouldn't be in such a dilemma. The chant of Ragnarök remains true, hence its popularity amongst us. For instance, it could very well be my desire to kill you - such a thing, you could say, _corrupts _me. Taints me even, the blood thirst, the sheer _hunger_…"

He shot a look at me then, before I'd had time to compose my expression, his crimson rimmed eyes gleamed at the sight of my horror.

He seemed to have realised his slight decrease in speed then, because he moved faster, and I found it hard to even move my head at the speed we were moving. Something fast worse than motion sickness was gripping my stomach.

A pain shot through my arm sharply then, and I looked at it, as if surprised to find it bleeding. Demetri's sharp, claw-like nail had evidently penetrated my skin. I didn't have time to think why it had taken so long to bleed. Slowly, a drop of blood oozed through the pale fabric, landing on Demetri's dark robes. I held my breath, Demetri slowed suddenly, rising his head up to the sky. His last words lay thick on the air. "The sheer _hunger_…" I watched him, in half curiosity, half horror.

Then, he sniffed (literally _sniffed_) the air, and both emotions mangled into disgust.

However inconvenient and darn right painful that it surely was, my throbbing arm _had _given me an idea. I knew I had to keep talking, reminding him of my blood, _slowing _him… I summoned up what little courage I had left, concentrating hard on keeping my voice calm and even - I couldn't risk Demetri knowing how I was feeling now. Thank goodness he didn't have Jasper's empathic skills.

"Why aren't you succumbing to the thirst?" There was a silence. It was a risk and I knew it. Quite why I was _tempting _this vampire to suck my blood and kill me I don't know - but it seemed to work. Demetri slowed again, composing his answer. Eventually, he stopped completely.

I didn't know how far we were from Forks - I didn't recognise the terrain; it was browner, _earthier_. I didn't like it one bit. How far was I from safety?… _From Edward?_ Whispered a part of me. I pushed back those thoughts, concentrating on how to escape from Demetri.

"You are a curious creature Luciana," He mused darkly. I could remember all to well the last vampire who'd said those same words to me. Fire red air suddenly burned behind my eyelids.

Even now though, with a completely different vampire, I could detect two layers - _meanings _- behind what he'd said. The simple words were complimentary; the tone however, was not. He turned to face me again, holding me so that I could almost touch the ground. But not quite, my feet were about an inch from the earth, I suddenly felt incredibly small. He was _taunting _me. I set my jaw. "You openly ask why, or how, I am not killing you?" He laughed and the sound made me want to shiver.

I realised he was waiting for a reply, so I did the only thing I could mange in my angry and scared state: I nodded. He adorned a far away look as he spoke, his expression unfathomable.

"I have immense control, I've been sent on many of Aro's requests. But that doesn't mean that I don't _want _to kill you…" Suddenly the air thickened, his voice was deeper, seductively hypnotic, and it was scaring the hell out of me. "Your blood is potent, but so is the case with many humans, no it's the fact that you're _forbidden _that makes it so hard. I've already weighed out my chances on whether it would be worth suffering Aro's wrath in exchange for a nice supper…" He grinned at me like I was meant to take all of that as praise.

"And what's the verdict?" My voice came out too high pitched and Demetri leered in response. I couldn't help it. Supper? Demetri was envisioning me as _supper_?!

"Not worth the risk," Resentment now. "You're too valuable apparently," - this news did the opposite to calm me - "Personally, _I _don't think so. No, I think of other words to describe you: weak, feeble," he was muttering to himself. "You - _humans _-" disgust laced his already harsh tone "are frail mockeries in comparison to vampires. Humans rot and die. Each breath you take could be your last, numbered heart beats… flesh so easily broken. Humans are renowned for weakness, vampires for strength. We are, in all senses, the superior race; practically nothing can kill _me_-"

"Oh, I can think of something."

It wasn't me who'd said that.

Demetri froze, refusing to turn for a moment, until the voice spoke again.

"You know, contrary to popular belief Demetri, vampires don't _need _to be sadistic parasites."

Demetri, for an instant, seemed to forget he was holding me; I got whipped around at tremendous speed as my captor turned in the opposite direction - towards the voice I was sure I was hallucinating.

"_What _did you just call me?" Demetri growled, the sound entirely feral. After feeling the strong effects vertigo once more, my eyes focused on the only other figure aside from Demetri and me.

Edward was standing there, as still as a marble statute. His nostrils were dilated and he was visibly fuming. Magnificent and terrifying in his rage. I couldn't understand how he'd managed to keep his words light when his fury was so potent. Still, the sight of him trigged a reaction from me, as the utterly encompassing sheer relief and hope soared in my chest.

"_Edward_…" I breathed.

For an instant, his eyes left Demetri, landing on me with laser-like precision; I didn't have time to study his topaz gaze before it all happened.

It was like someone had just switched channels very fast on a television, lights flickered behind my eyes as I felt myself slam to the floor, re-hitting my bad arm again. Demetri had _dropped _me. Everything started moving very quickly after that. I could hear a surfeit of sounds, growls and yells, my eyes tried to pinpoint the exact position of Edward and Demetri as I forced myself into a sitting position.

They looked as though they were dancing. Sharp and swift, synchronised movements more furious than before. I bit back a scream, Demetri was larger than Edward, more experienced, _deadlier_.

But Edward was faster.

All of a sudden Edward was in the air, having run up the side of a tree, and he'd hit Demetri in the side - forcing him to collide with another tree. (I winced like I'd been wounded each time it happened. Poor _trees_.) Then, Demetri was up again, advancing slowly now, prowling towards the crouched Edward. Both looked different, _wilder. _But I could at least see something human in Edward's expression, nothing in Demetri's cold blooded stare.

"She is _mine_," Hissed Demetri. _Excuse me? _I sat up sharply, my resolve on staying calm snapping. Demetri claiming I was _his_? Hot rage flooded to my face as I flushed in anger, unable to bite back my words before they bubbled to my lips.

"What the hell?! I am most certainly _not _yours!"

Demetri seemed to _have _forgotten me, in reaction to my outburst, he ran at me - ready to grab me and escape.

Well crud.

***

I caught a glimpse of the dark, brooding black eyes rimmed with crimson, but nothing more. One second Demetri was up next to me, whispering crudely in my ear.

"_Got you_."

The next moment, he was whipped backwards, a shout of triumph came when Demetri slammed headfirst into the ground a few feet away. My fear continued to spike higher when Demetri stood up again, looking nothing less than livid, snarling and grunting, eyes continually flickering from Edward to me, still slumped on the floor, scrabbling in an attempt to stand. My hair kept falling over my eyes, I could feel what I hoped was mud (instead of blood) sticking it to my cheek.

Edward seemed to know what Demetri was planning

"I wouldn't do that." Edward muttered, his quiet voice somehow loud in the dense forest. "You don't want to go the same way as Felix did, _Demetri_," He spat at his name like poison.

"_You_-" Demetri hissed, but stopped himself, looking past us both into the trees. He let out an enraged snarl. "Just wait Pretty Boy, we'll get her. She's already fallen under are feet before. Such an easy prey, don't you agree? I'm surprised you can cope with blood like hers. She won't remain safe or long. Don't undermine the Volturi, power has changed."

With those last enigmatic words, he vanished.

***

Edward was at my side in an instant, prying me off the floor with an inexplicable assiduousness, making sure I was steady on my feet before letting me stand without support.

There must have been something in my expression that caused him to speak. I hadn't had time to get over the shock of what just happened. A mixture of fear, horror, worry, and blissful relief was swelling inside me.

He spoke in a tenuous voice, as if he hadn't spoken in ages - it cracked with something that scared me so much more than anything else previously. Far more than the terrifying battle I'd just witnessed, even more than Felix and Demetri combined.

"I…Lucie, I'm so sorry…"

It was accompanied by a broken look, one of self loathing and hatred. And it hit me. He blamed _himself _for this, for not saving me sooner… _he always tries to stop the inevitable. _A part of me whispered. I was human, bound to get hurt.

"And God, I didn't want you to have to see all that - I didn't mean to scare you-" The worry in his voice was so fervent his words became rushed, I had to strain my ears to catch them.

"I've never been scared of you." I breathed. My own voice was calmer than I'd thought I could make it. It certainly didn't portray how I felt, or explain my erratic pulse.

"You should be," He said quietly, lowering his head, "I'm like him Lucie. Deep down, that's all I really am." _A sadistic parasite?_ My mind thought, I shook my head, Edward was nothing like that.

"No," I disagreed, just as quietly, "you're not. Deep down you're this perfect albeit slightly pretentious being who doesn't realise how much others care about him and wish he'd stop treating himself like a monster." The words had slipped from my lips; I shut my mouth shut audibly after I'd said them. Edward's eyes widened.

"Sorry for being pretentious then," He said, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Don't be. It's who you are," I said, quietly resting my head against his shoulder, "and thanks for saving me."

Carefully, he swept the hair out of my eyes, but withdrew his hand back shortly after the act, frowning again.

"Are you okay?" He said quietly, the concern in his voice was so potent it was almost tangible. A cruel voice in my head was chanting something, and I couldn't block it out.

_You don't even deserve it. It's _your _fault that all this is happening, that he almost got killed…_

"I'm alright." My voice was small.

He continued to look at me, and I felt guilt twist and knot in my stomach. Doubling the nauseous feeling. I knew _why _that stupid great knot of guilt had formed. I was lying. I was lying because my head was pounding; my ribs ached; my arm continued to throb sharply and I was close to collapsing from it all. All in all, no: I most certainly was _not _alright. The lie, to me, seemed obvious in not only my voice (because of how plain _weak _I sounded). But also my expression (which, incidentally, was now halfway between a sort of blasé composed calm and grimace. In short: _not _very convincing.) In fact, even if I _had _been fine, I would have expected Edward to check my temperature, to verify I was telling the truth, to _make sure…_

Which was why I was so shocked when he nodded. Just nodded. Accepted that I was fine, instead of pressing the issue further. It took me a while to compose my look of shock. I was just about to break the silence when suddenly, Edward staggered.

Fear shot through me like ice, followed just as quickly by realisation. Of course he wasn't checking. _He _was hurt. There I was worrying about my stupid health when he'd been the one fighting Felix and then Demetri _single-handedly_.

I felt sick, he'd hidden his face from me, the tousled bronze hair fell in such a way over his face that it prevented me from analyzing his expression; my fingers itched to brush it away.

I reached out for him, trying to quell the shakes in my arm, only to have my hand swiped back in response. The pain that should have come with the force of the movement was dull to me, but it made Edward look up in concern for _my _health again.

Edward's eyes met mine, wide and filled with too many emotions, making up the complexity of his golden gaze.

"I'm sorry." He repeated again, I could tell he wasn't breathing.

"You shouldn't be, I'm okay," I said, then, after a pause I added, "how did you do it - fight them off? Felix, where is he? What did you mean when you threatened Demetri? Is he dead? Oh crap, he hurt you, didn't he," - that was a statement, not a question, but Edward frowned shaking his head.

"Don't worry Lucie," He gave me a weak smile. "Felix didn't hurt me; I'm alright, really-"

"You're not! He _has _hurt you!" I gestured wildly to his posture, still slumped against the tree trunk. Again, I tried to go to him, desperate to help, but his arm restrained me - making sure I kept my distance. Confusion flooded me, Edward sighed softly.

"Look Lucie, Felix isn't dead, and he didn't hurt me," knowing I was about to protest again, he spoke faster. "I told Demetri that to frighten him off, he was going to take you - I could see what he was panning to do. But his strategy had flaws, so I just said that to distract him."

"But if Felix isn't dead… then what…?" I trailed off, confused to the extreme, I felt close light-headed,. Edward didn't need any more prompting.

"He ran off, the coward."

The bitterness in Edward's tone shocked me, though I hid it from my expression - glad, not for the last time, that he couldn't access my thoughts.

"But he hurt you-" My lower lip began to tremble all of a sudden. Edward spoke quickly in an attempt to calm me down.

"Well, yes, but only slightly. Look, Demetri hit me in the side - I was already weakened - I didn't see the movement in his mind, he acted on a caprice, without thinking, he managed to bite me." I stared at him in horror.

"He _bit _you?"

"And I'm _okay_-" He said quickly, evidently noting the alarm in my eyes, "it will heal soon enough, vampire venom acts as morphine, I'll be fine in a minute. You've seen Jasper's past, he's been bitten tonnes of times and he's fine."

This news didn't calm me. If Edward was fine, then _why _was he half slumped against the tree?!

I didn't like the way my voice sounded to my ears. It was too shrill, too high, too close to hysteria. "You're sure you're okay, I mean Felix just, I-" My words became less and less coherent the more furious my tone became, "I don't believe he - you shouldn't have - I'm going to kill them. Felix, then Demetri, and I can't - I hate - _ugh_! I can't even _talk _to you." I looked up at him, flushed from breathing too heavily and fighting down a strong urge to hit something. Preferably Demetri (though I'd be equally satisfied with decapitating Felix.)

Oh, Crud. This was officially it. (My reign of insanity had begun.) I was actually envisioning running up to Volturi vampires armed with nothing more than a large axe and intent on chopping their heads off. Something was _definitely _wrong with me. I tried talking again, with little success.

"They can't just _do _this, I mean; they're meant to be like a police force right? And they just - stupid sadistic blood thirsty - I won't let them hurt you - they're idiots, I'm going to kill-"

I didn't realise I'd been failing my arms about until Edward clasped my hands in his, snapping me out of my deranged thoughts.

I wasn't prepared for his expression. The previous gaunt look was eradicated, he was looking down at me fondly, an eyebrow raised slightly higher than the other, amused at my reaction to everything.

Gradually, a smile fell over his lips.

"You are so…" He struggled for a word.

"Crazy?" I put in, biting back the hysteria. He shook his head.

"No, just…_different_." His smile was cryptic, but I couldn't help the petulant look that fell slightly across my face.

"Different? Edward, that makes everything sound worse… I mean, at least crazy isn't that bad, I could have perceived it as just a little odd, but _different_? Psychopaths are different, I-"

But he silenced me.

Without warning, He pressed his lips to my forehead, enveloping me in his scent. It washed over me, and I breathed it in rapidly, not able to get enough. It was like a sedative to the pain I'd been trying to ignore.

Instantly - as if reacting to my thoughts (even though he couldn't read them) like a stimulus - he stiffened, grasping me firmly, _hardly_, moving too quickly so that I couldn't protest. He'd pulled away again, but was suddenly on his feet and I was cradled in his arms, his face only an inch from mine.

Edward's eyes widened, he placed a hand to my head, relinquishing it less than a second later, as if my skin burnt him.

"You're burning up…" He whispered, his voice was scared. Agitated. Now 180 degrees from what it had been seconds before. There was a thumping sound; the pulse in my temple was jumping, faster, _louder_. I felt dizzy again, but it was worse, tears threatened to spill over now, my sight became blurry through a film of moisture. I was horrified, I didn't want to _cry_. There wasn't even a rational explanation for me wanting to cry…well, aside from the pain in my arm, and my head, and that light-headed feeling…okay, maybe there was.

Edward lifted up the sleeve of my shirt and sucked in air sharply, a dark looked crossed his eyes - sucking in air while I was bleeding was probably _not _the best idea…

My eyes followed his, resting on the pale skin of my forearm.

The wound was deep, my ivory skin ribboned in blood, the previous scratches reopened from my fall.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

A mixture of agitation and horror seemed to be gripping him. His voice was low, the usually melodic timbre sounding as though it was about to crack. He held me close to his chest, despite the blood. And though it felt like I was being crushed into him, he held me with delicacy - a contrast to his rigid stance, as if scared I was about to break.

I couldn't answer. I was scared how much he'd see in my eyes, there were things I didn't even know myself, and if my suspicions were correct, things that I could never tell him.

And then everything shimmered like smashed crystal. The state of coconsciousness I'd been trying so hard to hold onto was fraying. Iridescent, butterfly-wing colours flashed behind my eyes, eyes that had somehow closed, and I was falling, _falling_… I was balanced precariously on the edge of a precipice, and I knew I was about to fall, or maybe I _had _fallen, or was I falling? The sensations were coming so thick and fast it was hard to tell.

I barely caught Edward's words, so faint they sounded like leaves in a turbulent gust of air.

"We need to get you to Carlisle, _now_."

But I knew he was already running.

***

The last few minutes had been chaotic. Well, chaotic was an understatement really.

Edward had started running, and the speed set me off. I became increasingly dizzier and couldn't think straight. I hadn't even realised when we'd skidded to a holt. In fact, I suspected that I would have fainted if the situation had differed. But I _didn't _faint. Why? Because I got a shock that jerked me very sharply back into consciousness.

Edward had taken his _shirt off_.

This, procured - what would have normally been an amusing - reaction from me, if I wasn't bleeding, and close to lack of consciousness anyway. I let out a muffled shriek of shock, until Edward gave me a confused look, and began wrapping his shirt around my arm to stop it bleeding. The conversation still rang in my ears.

"What the-" That was about as articulate as I could manage in my…rather stunned state. He'd replied (_somehow _managing to stay calm, which was the complete opposite of what I was) still trying to determine why I'd shrieked.

"Lucie, you're bleeding, this is the only way I could have stopped the blood flow, it was either your shirt or mine." I'd scowled at him. Seriously. Did he have to be so _blunt _about it?

Then, I'd spent the rest of my time furiously trying to concentrate on something else whilst Edward was running with me and making sure that there was no way he could see how red I'd turned.

And now, we were near the house. Carefully I turned around, concentrating on not getting distracted, staring intently at his face. It was getting increasingly hard to not just _stare _at his marble chest. I mentally hit myself. I knew I had to bottle up these feelings; they were stupid, irrational… _and completely unrequited_. My mind added bitterly.

"Put me down, I can walk this far."

I suppose I shouldn't have been very surprised at his response.

"No."

"No? What? Look, I'm fine," I waved my arms around a bit as if this proved something. He raised an eyebrow. Sardonic Speculation etched on his features. I couldn't help it. I lost my hold on civilly calm, adding crossly, "I can walk - honest."

Edward didn't remove his arms. I looked at him again, my natural and instinctive irritation bubbling into my voice at the thought of him deeming me incompetent to even _walk_. Seriously, if Edward had things his way, I'd bet I'd never be allowed to walk. What was with vampires and _carrying _people? "I'm fine Edward," I repeated, slightly tersely, "please, place me on the floor - I've had enough of being carried." He let out a gust of air I knew he'd been holding for over five minutes now.

"Lucie, you nearly fainted, _again_." Okay, so strictly speaking… well, okay _yes_, he was entirely right about that. I struggled for a quick response.

"Ah," I said hurriedly, Edward didn't roll his eyes like I'd expected, he looked too angry. "But there's a key word in there, isn't there? _Nearly_. I _nearly _fainted. I didn't actually faint, once you'd stopped the whole blood flow-" I cut myself short at that; I did not need to think about _that _right now. Not when it just conjured up images of how Edward was now only clad from the waist downwards.

And coming to think of it, seeing as Edward was: _a vampire_, it wasn't really good to remind him about it either...evidently spending a lot of time with vampires didn't actually make you more sensitive to the 'blood' related topics. I looked back at him, m neck flushing slightly after I realised I'd stopped talking. "After… after you patched me up I was okay."

Edward's brows knitted together as he assessed me (yeah - assessment, _typical_) I let out an impatient huff and eventually he let me stand. The house's lights were on in the distance, and I could already see a flicker of silver which I knew to be Alice at the window, now running to us. I made to stride purposefully forward but I moved too quickly, stumbling slightly on the uneven ground. A second later I felt Edward's breath against my ear.

"I'm carrying you," He breathed, his voice portraying how completely definite he was in this decision, I opened my mouth to object but before I could he added "-whether you like it or not." He did. We were beside Alice now, and the movement was too fast for me to make out whether Alice had run to us, or whether we'd run to her. I felt shaky actually; it was hard to focus on Alice's small pixie face in the dim light. She had something bundled in her small hands, it was a shirt; she'd foreseen this moment. I caught a glimpse of the ground too, it was a darker green than I'd realised, the day was ending and preparing for night.

The shaky feeling didn't let up. Nausea rolled over me when I tried to push Edward's arms away, so I became reluctantly pliant. I felt my eyes close for a moment, letting Alice's soprano voice wash over me as she spoke with a furious pace that I could never match, though at the sound at her last few words I snapped my eyes open again. Scared that I'd closed them, and more scared at how feeble I felt in Edward's hard arms. My arms and legs felt like jelly, the brief movement had left me enumerated more than I was willing to admit. I looked at Alice. There was something in her expression that I couldn't place. The closet thing to it was immense concentration, I heard Edward growl something lowly, and caught a few scattered words:

"_What are you keeping from me Alice? I can tell you're blocking me from seeing_…" and "_Alice! Tell me, _what _other person? Who else do the Volturi want? I don't understand_-" But he was cut off by Alice again.

"_Edward! Please, I just need to go in a minute - I'll help her inside but then me and Jazz need to go... It's nothing, If I tell you, you're just going to leave her, just - oh look at her! Edward you can't seriously consider doing anything else but help her at the moment - we need Carlisle. _"

"_I was _doing _that…"_

"What?" I managed to make myself speak, "What's happening?" They both ignored me, after a long moment (in which Alice and Edward just… _stared _at each other, it was pretty intense) Edward gave a sigh, and we were moving again. Edward was striding, though the speed was faster than most people's sprints, and I could tell just by his taut jaw that he was angry with Alice.

"Lucie, Lucie look at me," Alice's golden eyes were the brightest thing I could see, I focused harder - forcing myself to keep taking deep, steady breaths. I was scared - and I openly admitted to that. I was scared at Edward's broken and angry persona, scared at my inability to remain awake, and scared for wherever the hell my father was. "Listen Lucie, Carlisle's here, you're okay now, I can help once he's cleared up the blood, Rosalie and Edward will tail Demetri-"

"What?" I spluttered, my senses sharpened at her mention of Edward leaving, (I ignored her mention of blood, I didn't want to think about the pain in my arm) I twisted round to look at him, but he didn't return my gaze. "No, no, I'm _fine _Alice. It's just a scratch-" But I stopped, silenced when I saw that they'd moved me again.

We were inside now, Alice vanished suddenly, I only heard her saying, _'she's still bleeding' _to Edward before I noticed we weren't alone.

Alice was by Jasper now, holding his hand with what I knew would be inhuman strength, she whispered to him, and I heard Edward mutter something. Carlisle walked in briskly, his expression one of medical calm, and Esme flitted to my side.

Everything was happening too quickly.

I heard one sentence of Alice's words, spoken to Jasper before he vanished from the room. _"Go Jazz, I'll follow soon," _Was my blood affecting Jasper? Was that why he left? It was inconvenient; I wouldn't have minded his power now. Calmness was an emotion I couldn't even imagine, let alone summon.

Finally, after what seemed like hundreds of secret conversations that I wasn't part of, Emmett spoke.

"Whoa Luce, what happened?" He was grinning at me, and I felt a small portion of gratitude towards the scarily big guy (vampire guy at that). At least _he _didn't treat me like someone with the plague - or one of the mentally handicapped. I felt Edward's stance shift slightly as he glared at Emmett - clearly far from amused at his jovial tone. I wanted to reply with a hearty:_ I just escaped death from two bad vampires, who for some reason want to take me to Volterra to kill me. _But a small portion of my mind told me that such response really wouldn't go down to well with the over-protective family.

"What do you mean?" Asked Rosalie when I didn't reply. Emmett made a gesture at my posture, sprawled across Edward's arms. Great. He continued in the same amused tone.

"Well, she's bleeding," His eyes adorned the same look as Carlisle's as he put on a medical air. I scowled, my earlier assumption of him treating me _differently _was evidently far from correct, "her shirt's torn, she's dirty," - and cue the oh-so-predictable-grin at the other meanings behind that word - "She's too pale for a human, her face looks like she went into anaphylactic shock… need I go on?" Ah, it was nice to know my attractive status. Anaphylactic shock? _That _was certainly a new one.

"Thank you for that synopsis Emmett," Carlisle said, taking me away from Edward and placing something cold against my arm, I looked away from it, convincing myself that I'd imagined Edward's reluctance at letting go of me again. "But Edward," His tone was suddenly serious, as he simultaneously began treating my arm. "What happened?"

Edward was blunt, his voice detached somehow - he looked only at Carlisle as he spoke.

"Felix and Demetri attacked us."

The room lapsed into silence.

***

Carlisle was the first to regain composure.

"Impossible."

I saw his eyes flicker to me, and felt Esme put a soft hand over mine, pulling me gently to an armchair, wanting me to sit. My arm was now bandaged up, a dull stinging informed me Carlisle had cleaned and sterilised the wound when he'd been pulling out various bottled substances (very quickly I might add). I'd had to take something too, a painkiller of some kind. I didn't appreciate the drowsy feeling that I was sure had been intentional. Esme mentioned food several times, but I felt sick - the prospect of eating something with my stomach in such a state wasn't appealing.

I felt Esme pulling gently on my good arm again, her kind eyes beseeching me, but I was rigid, my own eyes never leaving Edward's face. A blank mask as he read Carlisle's thoughts. His voice was that cool, composed calm that did little less than terrify me.

"Is it?" There was a pause, Emmett gave an explicit grunt - evidently it wasn't just me who was disgruntled by only hearing half the conversation. "Think about it Carlisle, I doubt Demetri and Felix left Aro. We both know he's the one with power - they wouldn't desert that. No, I think he _ordered _them to," He frowned suddenly at whatever Carlisle's silent response was, "yes but _is _this the only time though?" He disagreed quietly.

It could have either been yet another of Emmett's grunts or Alice's delicate cough that finally made Carlisle speak out loud.

"What other intentions does he have Edward, aside from," His eyes rested on my face again, I felt embarrassed at how pathetic I must have looked, (especially since Emmett's rather candid description) "… well, assuming Lucie even is the reason for all this-"

"They want me." I interjected, my voice, though small, was steady. "I'm sure about that much Carlisle… Demetri when he… well when he got to me kept saying something… something like: '_I don't know why Aro even wants you.'_ And _I _don't know why he wants me," It was unnerving how silent the room was again, each person riveted on my words, "but he does. Maybe he hasn't told his… entourage, guard whatever, what his intentions are, but I'm the reason for all this chaos. I'm so s-"

"Don't say you're sorry," Growled Edward, Esme's hands were clutching both of mine now, I let her lead me to the sofa this time, hurt by the harshness in Edward's tone. He turned back to Carlisle, "Look, Aro wanted - still _wants _- Alice and me, last time in Volterra I saw his mind… he has this image of Alice by his side and me at the other, the idea intoxicated him - the ultimate power of both the present and future-"

Alice gasped in realisation.

"And Lucie's the _past_…"

The room lapsed into silence again as the news sank in. Edward exhaled slowly.

"Exactly."

I was like the rest, unable to frame articulate sentence at this point, as the scale of what was happening dawned once more. The thing that scared me most though (in relation to Edward's words) was how much _he'd left out. _I could still remember the look on his face when I said the words I'd heard sang in my dream. It was imbedded in my vision, his marble more pale, eyes wide, shock and horror etched into his features whiter somehow.

Part of me wanted to speak up, to say that this _wasn't _the only reason that the Volturi were after me, that I thought my dreams were a more than significant enough portent to prove as such. But the other part of me, the more dominant one, wanted to stay silent.

Edward however, saw my expression. Perhaps my eyes gave too much away, or maybe it was how pale I looked - I don't know what, but something in my expression spurred him on to say more.

"Aro is stuck," His voice almost seemed to catch, but he cleared his throat slightly before continuing, "Between two desires. He wants Lucie's blood and wants her to be in his guard. It's a paradox he can't escape. Because he can't have the first unless he's willing to sacrifice the other. He wants us like a trophy I guess, it's why he keeps gifted vampires. He _collects _them." The disgust was explicit in his voice.

There was another round of looks to each other, but Edward didn't stop, his tone of voice changed slightly, more fervent now.

"He's not going to stop Carlisle. The Volturi are no longer to be trusted - they've already broken laws. I can't - _won't _- stand for this any more…"

Carlisle looked shocked, saying only "Of course not son," Esme spoke now, her voice small and heavy with concern.

"We'll stay together though Edward - Alice said you and Rosalie would go after them," It was only at the mention of Alice's name did I realise her absence. "I don't want that. It's better if we stay together; I doubt a mutual agreement can be made, so there's really no point in going to Volterra-"

"Wait." Interjected Emmett, standing forward brusquely, "What's all this about Rose and Edward going?" Esme explained to him what they'd planned, Emmett's face didn't change, remaining (and there was no other way I could describe it) almost petulant in discovering he wasn't allocated to fight. "There is _no way _I'm not fighting. Bring on the Volturi; it's been a while since I've-"

"_This isn't a game!_" Roared Edward.

There was another silence. Tension thick on the cool air.

"We know that Edward," Rosalie finally said, her voice wasn't it's usual sardonic harmony, it was quieter now. More sincere than I'd ever heard it. "But you can't blame him for wanting to help. We're wasting time arguing, Jasper and Alice-"

"What did she see?" Edward cut across her, straining directly into her eyes, reading her mind.

"I don't know Edward, none of us do."

Edward sighed, running a hand through his hair. I slouched back against the couch unwillingly. My head was hurting again, and the drowsy feeling hadn't abated. If anything, it was _worse_.

Simultaneously, every Cullen turned their head towards the doorway, I was left utterly perplexed. Their postures were taut, stances abruptly defensive, Emmett moved to Rosalie's side, in front of her protectively. Carlisle came to Esme's. I didn't have a clue what was going on.

Until there was a loud bang. _Then_, I snapped my head towards the doorway too, and heck, I was shocked with who I saw there, adorned only in a pair of worn out jeans cut at the knee to form shorts. His muscular frame tensed and irate, with russet skin that I knew would be burning.

Jacob Black stared at Edward, ignoring everyone else.

Suddenly, it was like I had an epiphany. The conversation about Alice before ran over in my mind, and everything fell into place, the things I'd forgotten resurfaced, I stared at Jacob in terror. Standing up so quickly that I felt faint, my previous fatigue vanishing momentarily, blood roaring in my ears, as I now knew exactly what his purpose was.

When he spoke, I felt myself become taken aback, as if I'd expected a hard, rough noise to come out of his mouth. Instead, his voice was throaty and deep, cracking with perceptible pain, heartfelt emotion pouring through the tough façade. I knew the words before he said them.

"They've got Bella."

***

I don't think anyone expected Edward's reaction to that.

The room, for what felt like the umpteenth time today, fell into silence again. Everyone had turned to look at Edward, who I had expected to shout. Yell. _Somehow _show his anger. He didn't. What happened was much worse. He didn't move for a moment. Just stared at Jacob, horror plain on his features.

"_What_?" He whispered, and the raw emotion in his voice was terrible. Broken and hateful.

"You heard me," Jacob's voice became harder, though it was still tinged with agony, "they've taken her. We couldn't stop it. She left in the morning… I don't know what happened. Paul reported it, he came back - and, she…she was _gone_." Jacob stopped looking at Edward then, his eyes scoured the immaculate room, resting on me, standing white faced before the sofa.

"She kept mentioning you." Jacob whispered to me. I looked back at him, not knowing whether he hated me for what had happened. He continued. "In her sleep - she shouts out you know. Every night she'd whisper something different. But she'd always call out to you: _'Why did you do it Lucie? They know how you act. Stop. Let him go!'_" My blood ran cold, and I paled further still, which wasn't much of a feat. I tried to say something but my throat closed up. Esme pulled me to her side protectively and Jacob narrowed his eyes at her. "That's right." He whispered, "protect _her_, forget about Bella." Esme looked shocked, shame falling over her kind face.

"Can you give us some privacy?" Edward said tersely all of a sudden.

I heard Emmett swear under his breath. A muttered "_Yeah, let us stay in the dark again Edward,_" barely reached my ears as Carlisle ushered us out of the room. I was slow to move, my eyes fixed on both Edward and Jacob.

"And then she'd mention _you_-" He looked at Edward, and now there was no hiding his disgust. "Always you. Always the same. When she called out for you she'd start screaming: '_Edward_!' … you killed her, what you did. When you left. She's never healed properly." Esme was pulling me through the door, and we were sitting in another room, one I hadn't seen before.

I could still hear though, and I knew the Cullens could too. The door was left slightly ajar. Each of us were as motionless as statues.

Edward's voice was louder.

"It was to _protect _her. I thought you of all dogs could understand-"

"Leaving her? You thought that _leaving _her would settle everything out? Fix the mess you caused?" Both voices were getting hotter. "Let me put it this way Edward," I heard Jacob growl, "I promised her if they ever got her, I would personally fight through hoards of bloodsuckers to get her back. You included. That status hasn't changed."

"You can't defeat us, any member of our coven is competent at killing you, the only reason it hasn't happened before now is because I knew Bella would be upset."

"Bit late for that now, huh?"

"Where did she go? I could still catch up, look I _will _kill you if you carry on wasting time like this-" Jacob interrupted with a bark of a laugh.

"I wouldn't bet on that _Cullen, _our pack's numbers have risen significantly. Happens when _your _lot are in the near vicinity. They're outside now, you're surrounded. All I have to do is say the word-" Emmett rose to his feat, fists clenched. The only thing restraining him was Rosalie's hand, resting on his arm.

"Don't." She mouthed quietly.

"You wouldn't." Edward was still arguing, "We haven't broken any laws."

"And I don't care, look leech, let's get this straight: I don't like you and-"

"I despise you,"

"Right." Agreed Jacob, "but we both love Bella right?"

There wasn't a hesitation.

"Yes."

There was a pause, and then Jacob spoke, his voice animated but grim.

"Then let's figure out a way to get her back."

***

It appeared that it was only me who was left in the dark now.

Shortly after Edward and Jacob's 'heated discussion' as Emmett liked to refer to it, Rosalie of all people, had insisted on speaking to the rest of the pack. Everyone had joined that discussion, except myself. I'd stayed in the unfamiliarly sterile room of the Cullen's house waiting. My mind flitted to my father's anxious face. And a burning feeling in my throat rose up. Esme and Carlisle had come to check on me, but after Carlisle had asked a few medical questions an awkward silence had fallen between us.

After three minutes or so of an uncomfortable lack of conversation, Edward, Rosalie and Emmett entered the room. The wolves were still outside, I saw Seth - a slightly smaller, sandy coloured wolf, through the window. I tore my eyes away from the darkness, wondering who was going to speak.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Esme rise slightly on her feet to whisper in Carlisle's ear - her words were too quiet for my human ears, but evidently not to the rest of the Cullens. As if on some invisible cue they vanished from the room, leaving Edward and I alone. Edward made another sighing sound, muttering about distrust and impertinence. Eventually he looked at me again, with a certain air of both weariness and irritation, he spoke - jaw tight, emphasizing each word slowly.

"Lucie," There was an unfamiliar tightness in his voice when he said my name, as if the syllables were acid on his tongue. "Go to Rosalie, she'll sort you out." He turned away from me, as if my dishevelled presence hurt his eyes.

I wasn't late in replying to _that_. My response was instinctive.

"No." I'd made up my mind when I'd been left alone. Surprisingly, I'd half welcomed the exclusion, it gave me time to think. Instead of relying on disjointed impulses to guide me forward.

Edward turned then, slowly at first, and then in a movement so fast I didn't even have time to draw breath he was in front of me, visibly fuming.

"What?" He said, voice flat and hard. The only spark emotion laced in the cold tone was incredulity.

"I said no; I need to find him Edward, just like you need to find Bella, I can't just _stay _here. I won't-"

"You _will_," He said through clenched teeth, "So help me Lucie you _have to _stay, I'm not letting you anywhere near them-" The blood rushed to my face, fuelled by irritation and vexation. I half ran at him, forcing him to look at me, nearly shouting - my voice and mind close to frenzy.

"No! You can't _do _that! You can't keep me here, locked up like a child-"

"What more _are _you?" He shot back, and I turned abruptly scarlet, then blanched suddenly (which was a pretty dramatic change in complexion) as Demetri's words rang in my ears, cold and cruel, and horribly accurate: _"You really are rather unfortunate: a scrawny child; mundane looks; bad balance and virtually no grace; somewhat anaemic… again, I have no idea what Pretty Boy Cullen saw in you," _I cringed at the words. How wrong Demetri had been, Edward had never seen anything in me…

My voice was quieter when I spoke though just as determined, my attempts to make him take me were becoming more impetuous, reckless words that I knew wouldn't convince him.

"I won't stay I'll run… _I need to find him. _It's been days Edward, they could have…"- I couldn't bring myself to say it - "they might have hurt him. Carlisle said there's nothing seriously wrong with me, I'm fine Edward. Why can't you just take me with you-?"

"_Because you'll just make everything worse!" _He roared, silencing me, he continued in a bitter voice - his eyes focused on the floor as he whispered the rest. I wished he'd just look at me. Somehow, without seeing his eyes everything became colder. There was no way I could judge how true he was being.

"You're careless Lucie, careless and oblivious. Your father's in danger _because _of you. It's not him they're after, and running after him is what they want. A trap. One that I thought you would have worked out by now. I saw that note Luciana. Do him a favour and stay safe. Stay out of this."

He'd silenced me, I stared at him in shock and vexation, angry that he'd read the note my father had left for me.

"It's me Aro wants…"

"Is it now?" Edward muttered darkly, "Lucie, you aren't the focal point to everything. Life doesn't just revolve around you. Aro has _Bella_. Not you, _her_. And do you know why that is?"

There was too much resentment in his voice now. It was too laced with underlying bitterness and hate. The look on his face was hollow, sullen and white. I didn't speak. And Edward continued, finally looking up into my eyes, I found myself wishing I could break the contact that I'd been so desperate for moments before.

"Because I didn't protect her, I didn't even try to protect her. I forgot everything and everyone that wasn't you."

He glared at me, silently daring me to contradict him, to shout something else. But I couldn't. The truth burned in his golden eyes, full of a loathing I knew wasn't directed at me, but at himself.

***

Edward hadn't returned from outside.

He refused to talk with the rest of the Cullens, continually reminding us all of time. Though some part of me knew it was just another way to avoid me. I felt shaky and sick all over again. The rest of the Cullens were quietly discussing things standing up a few feet away. Only Esme stayed by me, the same genuine concern seemed to be set in her expression when our eyes met.

"Esme," I said quietly, not wanting interrupt their discussion for such a mundane cause. "Do you mind if I go into the kitchen," She looked confused by my words, and as if on cue, my stomach decided to rumble for me. Comprehension flashed across her butterscotch eyes.

"Oh yeah, sure sweetie," She smiled, seemingly pleased by my hunger. I returned the warm look, wishing that I _was _hungry. But in fact, I'd never felt more sick. She stood up suddenly, "Do you want me to cook you something?" She asked, her eyes bright with an affection akin to maternal care. Tears welled up in my eyes, I blinked them back furiously. There was no reason to cry. Not now, not ever.

"No," The effort it took to keep my voice normal actually _hurt_, "I'll just get something, an apple and bread…" I trailed off, wilding thinking of excuses, "you probably need to hear this," I turned my head in direction to Carlisle and the others. Esme gave me one last assessing look, before nodding quietly, and joining the discussion once more. I exited the room as quietly as possible, glad that no-one seemed to notice my absence. I shut the heavy kitchen door, breathing deep, shaking breaths.

I didn't even make it to the fridge.

I felt my entire body slump to the floor, my mind whirring. Regret and guilt twisting my stomach.

I tried to stand up, but stumbled again my bandaged arm glancing off the counter's corner, sending a sharp bout of agony up to my shoulder. I bit my lip hard to stop myself from yelling out. Tears, that had been suppressed for so long now, streamed inexorably down my cheeks as I stood, gripping the counter with white knuckles and staring at my tarnished reflection in the window.

It was worse than I'd imagined. I looked dishevelled alright: my hair windswept and tangled, dark green stains on jeans and a rip in the sleeve of the white shirt. A shirt incidentally, that was now splattered with dark droplets of crimson just above the bandage on my forearm. I eased it up slightly and winced, horrified when I saw the pattern of purple bruises across my ribs. Carlisle had been too intent on Edward's words to check the basics. I was glad he hadn't seen this, glad that nobody had. I looked _awful_.

My expression probably didn't help matters as I studied my too-pale-face. Sallow instead of pretty. My wide eyes too large for my other features, a murky hazel now. The pupils dark and large in the lack of light. They flickered nervously to the bruises as I prodded one carefully, hating the fact that a dull pain reached me at the slightest touch. I dropped the shirt at once, suddenly getting an urge to cover my skin, I felt disgusted.

I was so _weak_. Demetri had been right, I was no more than he'd described.

I closed my tired eyes, wanting more than ever to forget. To just lose consciousness and not have to deal with the pain, both mental and physical. An image burned behind my closed eyes, and for a while I couldn't make out what it was. Two brown eyes were staring back at me, wide and frightened as a whispered sentence tumbled through full lips.

"You _caused this…he won't forgive you._"

I snapped my eyes open, panting and horrified with what my imagination had conjured. Bella's pale, frightened face, her brown eyes that had slowly turned scarlet. I knew it was just lack of sleep. The non-stop bursts of adrenaline left me drained and now the fatigue gripped me so forcefully it hurt to keep my eyes open. I didn't want to sleep. I couldn't sleep. Not with the nightmares I had. Carlisle kept reassuring me that it was only insomnia, that it could be treated, that they would stop…

He was wrong.

My eyes had fluttered shut again, Bella stared back at me, this time her eyes were no longer the brilliant scarlet, but hollow and empty… the ghost of a scream etched on her parted lips.

Bella dead because of me.

I wanted to tear at myself, to wrench something apart. My insides were twisted, my throat thick, chest hollow.

The truth of the situation ht me with a crushing sort of force. Alice's rushed words that I'd been too feeble to deceiver before now rang tauntingly in my ears, "_I'll help her inside but then me and Jazz need to go... It's nothing, If I tell you, you're just going to leave her," _Alice had known that the second she'd let Edward see her mind about Bella he would have left.

Why had she made him help me instead? Why didn't she let Edward save her first? Why didn't she see this happening? The garbled questions were accompanied by a sinking feeling in my chest. I was so _stupid_. Demetri had even _said _he had Bella… on a multitude of occasions actually, gloating in his twisted superior way. And I'd just _forgotten _about it. So wrapped up in my own thoughts to remember her health, which was considerably more valuable than my own.

I began to tremble, the palms of my hands beading with cold sweat. My grip on the counter became unsteady as tremors shook through my hands, white fingers barely gripping the marble surface. I was the cause for all this turmoil… if I hadn't pried into the Cullen's life like I had none of this would have happened. They were all in danger because of me, and there was nothing I could do to help them.

It took me too long to realise I wasn't even gripping the counter anymore, and by then I was already falling. My grip on everything was fraying, and I almost welcomed the pain that would arrive when I hit the marble floor. Maybe I'd bruise again, this time on my back. _You deserve as much._

But I never hit the floor.

"Careful there…" A voice murmured softly.

I heard that before I saw him, his breath fanning over me as he assessed me with wide eyes. And I forgot I was supposed to be mad at him, I forgot that he'd called me a child. I looked at him desperately. Unspoken words flew between us like sparks. My skin flamed where his arms carefully held me, catching me an inch from the ground, holding me so that I was shielded from an invisible harm.

And as he held me, I realised something. The sensation flooding me, the calm, serenity, wasn't mine to experience. It was artificial. This was someone else's life, not mine. I didn't deserve peace, every thing I touched fell away into the chasm of chaos.

"_Please_," I whispered in a tremulous voice, suddenly wanting to make sure the peace didn't shatter under my fingertips. Desperate to hold on for a while longer. "Please _take me too_..."

It was like I'd hit him, he almost flinched away from me, something I couldn't decipher flashing across his topaz eyes. Immediately, he straightened, placing me on my feet again brusquely, and almost stumbling backwards in his haste to get away from me. I'd said the wrong thing, and I abruptly felt stupid. He'd interpret something like that as petulance. I was being _childish_.

Again, the stupid, irrational urge to just… _stop _him came over me. I wanted to reach out, but my arms hang like lead by my sides, I couldn't move a muscles save my lips and tongue.

"I could help," I offered quietly, my words fell on deaf ears.

"There's no way you can help…" He contradicted me just as quietly, and turned away from me.

"Just…" I wanted to scream again, not able to find any words that would make a difference. But all that came out of my lips was a whisper, a plea that would have no effect. "Just don't go…"

He stood there, perfectly immobile for a few seconds. His perfect and unblemished skin seemed to glow with an ethereal light in the semi-darkness, though whether that was due to my rapidly tiring eyes or the angle of light I did not know. Time passed, I can't recall how long - but slowly he turned, uttering a sentence I didn't want to hear, a sentence I _couldn't _hear. I saw his lips move, and heard the desperation leak into his voice.

"I _have _to."

And this time I couldn't even try to stop him, because before I knew it, he was gone.

The cold surface of the floor against my cheek told me I'd fallen to the floor once more.

I didn't try to get up.

***

***…insert dramatic music***

**Meh. I'm not sure if I like the end of that… but the chapter just **_**would not **_**end! Sorry if you found it tedious. The next one's all planned out, and that's much better in my humble opinion ;) We shall have ACTION! You haven't seen anything yet! :o Oh, an d if there are a lot of typos here I'm sorry - I'm giving this chappy out a night earlier. I'll edit it (to an extent) tomorrow :p**

**Ah, you probably don't like this chapter - sorry if it really wasn't worth the wait. I'm sorry the bit with Demetri was so long. What can I say? I find it really easy to write sadistic stuff…. (heh, evidently reflects what I'm like.) … and it was actually pretty essential to the plot too. Believe it or not, there were some subtle hints in there (well, no, I lie. I bet they **_**weren't **_**subtle. I reckon I suck at the whole **_**be-implicit-and-mysterious **_**thing ;p) **

**I bet you all hate angry Edward too, huh? (Is it bad for me to kind of… **_**like **_**angry Edward?) Ah, I know, I know, PMS Edward to the max. But he's needed - and he has a reason… I was going to do an Edward POV for that… would you like one next chapter? Say in a review if you do. (aha! My power at rhymes returns! It returns I say!) Also, I know Lucie's seeming… very weak at the moment. That's because she is. I won't say much about next chapter, but she can't continue doing **_**anything **_**in that state. Pure adrenaline can't last for days on end :p**

**Please don't hate me too much. (I deliberately didn't leave you all on too much of a cliff hanger… else I can just predict the torrent of: **_**why are you DOING this?!**_**) I've had a lot of stuff going on in my life, and, I don't know, I think I need **_**order **_**to update. That should come right back when it's time for school again *shudders* Anyway, If I take too long on updating (I promise it will never be **_**this **_**long) just demand a Sneak Peek from me, okay? Sneaky Peakys shall be given if commanded. Literally, just shout at me saying: "UPDATE GODDAMMIT! And in the meantime - give me a sneak peaky." And I'll give you one. **

**On a brighter note though, when do you want the **_**next **_**chapter? I haven't written much as of yet, but I know exactly what to write, and the only thing in my way is blasted French and Art Coursework that I meant to be doing. But hey, I think a little procrastination can sort that out. As always, ask any questions in a review. I have a great idea for this fic, and I shall continue to write after it if people are willing to stand my babbling. *And cue the indignant shouts of: **_**never**_**.***

**Before I say some more apologies. I feel the urge the babble - and it shouldn't be suppressed! I've just come in from the pouring rain. Why? Because here I was, ready to update, when I heard several loud and distraught meows out from my open window. I went outside (in the rain.) and meowed back,(I'm pretty skilled in the **_**imitating-weird-noises-department**_**) and then I saw Mouse in a very high up neighbour's fir tree. Yes, Mouse was: Stuck. In. A. Tree. I had to climb on top of a very precarious wall to try and reach her. When I tried to get her down, I discovered that it wasn't just Mouse in the tree, but also a black kitten. (A very, very cute kitten I might add) That one was wailing rather than meowing, and was sopping wet. I helped it down first (I referred to it as: The Black One) and before I could decide who it belonged to, the **_**owner of the wall **_**turned round the corner, saw me gripping a sopping wet black kitten and balanced on his wall…**

**This was the moment Mouse decided to let out a very indignant MEOW at not being saved first. I hurriedly explained to the man why I was on his wall, when suddenly a gigantic tabby-cat, leapt out of the tree and ran down the road. By this point, the man just laughed and said: "My tree's pretty popular with the felines today." Walked off, and left me trying to coax a stubborn Mouse out of the tree.**

**So yes, that's an excuse for this update being a few more minutes late than originally planned as well. It was a pretty bizarre experience, but explains why the frequent meows coming from the tree were so urgent (Mouse is mortal enemies with that tabby-cat… seriously, he's like her arch nemesis, I caught them just… **_**glaring **_**at each other when I came back from school one day. And then Mouse refused to go near me when I stroked the tabby-cat.) **

**(I'm sorry if you're annoyed at me for pointlessly babbling about cats.)**

… **It's not going to stop there. My beloved cat Mogger - my 1****st**** and only three legged, half a tailed, ginger cat - died a weeks days ago. R.I.P Mogger. Please don't think this is my sick way to gain reviews through sympathy. It's the truth. Not much of an excuse seeing as people's relatives die which is the reason for their late updates… but this is my reason none the less. I love animals. And my cats give me endless joy. I can't write much more on this note about him, I've just gone all teary eyed again. Maybe I'm pathetic, maybe I'm not. I'm sorry though. I promise to keep updating this fic till the very end, but please remember what spurs me onto write. Reviews. Large and small. Any comment is good, even if it is: 'Stop lamenting about your cat' (but please keep in mind if you **_**do **_**say that… I may have to personally hunt you down armed with a spatula. Not pretty.) **

**Don't worry Muse Mouse is still alive and healthy, in fact, you can blame her for the late update too. She still demands to lie across my arms as I type - and recently she's gotten heavier. That's right. Mouse needs a DIET! (I discovered this when trying to heave her out of that blasted tree! … either she's got heavier, or I've got weaker - though I admit that it could be the latter :p)**

**Anyway. 1008 reviews? Doing well eh? I think I'll dedicate the rest of this fic to Mogger. (because even as a memory, he's still fantabulous.) Oh, and I forgot DandylionWishes - this chappy is dedicated to her too, because, she fell of a bridge and I forgot to dedicate a chapter in consolation. Better late than never? :p**

**And… I'm going to list a few reviewers (who I'm just going to hope didn't suffer in endurance for this update) and people that I want to say an extra big thanks to: Jade Lyssy Swan (for obvious reasons. Her fantabulous babbly PMs and top sekrit chapters keep me sane ;p); Cappuccino C. Cullen; Mandala Morgaine (whose story I WILL review tomorrow - I hope) ; oreosNcookiescrunch2; splindora; Blue Tulips; Pyrogirl; SouthernBelle; mermolie; DandylionWishes; BeckaCullen; Foam Weber; Azura Soul Reaver; LovingWords; chickenn; LadyGrimR; CullenAnneMaire ; Kats & Twilight ; Oh So Absurd; Edward'sGirlForEternity; Your Guardian Angel… and probably lots more… I'm sorry if you review a lot and aren't up there. My memory is BLANK today… and I don't want to spend the entire day shuffling through reviews. Anyway, if you're not there… just pretend? (ha. Okay. Sorry - I can envision lots of disgruntled reviewers. I love you **_**all**_**! There we go. I bet I scared you all off :p) **

**I'm just going to officially solemnly promise to finish this fic. I won't abandon it, I promise. I hope this hasn't gone stale for anyone, and I really hope you still enjoy reading it. Hopefully, people will continue to read and review this. And if they don't - then I think I'll just continue it for my own enjoyment. Because I'm sad like that ;) Thanks a lot for all the support so far, I did receive quite a few worried PMs and reviews about updates, and they made me feel super guilty - but spurred me to write more.**

_**Please **_**review! I adore your feedback! ;) **

**Lily - who really does hope you can forgive her, and whose dad just came into her room stating that penguins looks rather demonic. Hmm. Interesting concept.**


	38. The Iridescent Irradiance

**Heyyys…. *waits for the outburst from furious readers***

**Yup. I officially died. That's why I didn't update. I'm terribly sorry to inform you that I just… snuffed it :p It took rather a long time to resurrect myself. So hey, seeing as I've recently died, don't come down too harsh on me. The experience alone was traumatic enough ;) **

**Oh alright… no I didn't die. That seemed like the best excuse though. I've decided to skip the countless apologies of why this update is late. Because, let's be perfectly honest, I bet you are all **_**sick **_**of them, *do I see lots of nods at that? Hmm?* especially seeing as my reasons are, more often than not, very mundane and pathetic. I **_**am **_**sorry, but my life has decided to complicate itself which means I haven't had time to even turn Hedgehog on sometimes… (dear me, now **_**that **_**sounds odd. Gah. :S You know what I mean. Hedgehog = laptop. .. Nope. Still sounds weird :p) let alone write. **

**The latest thing that's happened is that beloved Mouse has got WORMS! Yes. Wormies. (As in tapeworm…) bluueeuuch! (In case you didn't know that onomatopoeia, believe it or not, was the sound of me vomiting. What a nice image :p) I was very worried about her, but she went to the vet today, and, well apparently they give her a pill of sorts to get rid of the worm… and they think she'll be fine. (Everyone's been avoiding Mouse since they found out. Everyone devoid of moi. She's currently on my lap. Do you know WHY she got tapeworm? Because she brings back so many creatures… and the fleas on these creatures are apparently what caused her to get tapeworm. It's nothing serious, and I'm sorry If I've just put you off eating something :p (In all fairness, my dear mother told me she had tapeworm whilst I was eating. I shortly lost my appetite :p) I reckon it was that final shrew that did it (She brought in a live one this weekend. I saved it again, but honestly, the amount of times it tried to wriggle out of my hands you'd think it **_**wanted **_**to get eaten by Mouse!) **

**The response this story's gotten is **_**staggering**_**. Honestly. 1049 reviews? That's **_**crazy**_**. Really, amazingly crazy. I love the feedback. ADORE IT. Please don't stop reviewing! If you for some inexplicable reason go under the assumption that I don't read each review **_**you're wrong**_**! I cherish each one. Seriously, even if you feel obliged to inform me that I can't write, if there's a part of my awful editing that you just **_**can't stand **_**any longer, or if you don't like the way the story's going, or any constructive criticism at all for that matter. Just say. **

**But hey! I am back, and I'll still deliver badly edited chapters to you all! As long as you're prepared to read, I'll write them. I apologise, this is an extremely rushed A/N. I have an English essay to do, and no, it's not a fun prospect, but seeing as I've procrastinated it all weekend (and all Monday too :S) I really should do it now. **

**Now, onto this chapter: basically - I wrote a chapter and it was… massive. Really, it was too long. So I've split it into two. The problem is that most of the action you've been craving so much is in the second part… *hides* this chapter is what leads up to it. Please do read it though; I've actually given loads away this chapter. LOTS of little hints about the plot. And hey, you wanted an Edward POV? Well look here - you've got several ;)**

**Notice: this babble is (marginally) short. I feel proud of myself ;) **

**On-to-the-chapter-all-ready! Do enjoy!**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

He stood there, perfectly immobile for a few seconds. His perfect and unblemished skin seemed to glow with an ethereal light in the semi-darkness, though whether that was due to my rapidly tiring eyes or the angle of light I did not know. Time passed, I can't recall how long - but slowly he turned, uttering a sentence I didn't want to hear, a sentence I _couldn't _hear. I saw his lips move, and heard the desperation leak into his voice.

"I _have _to."

And this time I couldn't even try to stop him, because before I knew it, he was gone.

The cold surface of the floor against my cheek told me I'd fallen to the floor once more.

I didn't try to get up.

***

**The Iridescent Irradiance**

_**(A/N: **__Just to let you know - this first bit, she's _**dreaming**_. It's quite hefty so I didn't italicise it all. I don't know about you, but lots of words in italics tend to annoy me. No clue as to why. I just sort of grumble at the screen and mutter at it to 'right itself' … If it was shorter I would have - Oh, I'll shut up. I've rambled on enough all ready. Go read on, I'll meet you at the bottom :p__**)**_

**Lucie's POV: **

It was completely black; I could feel something flat and hard against my back; a dripping noise was in the distance. These were the only things, as of yet, that I understood. I could hear the steady thrum of my heartbeat too, matched with my shallow breathing, but that was all. I didn't know _why _I was here. Or even where _here _was for that matter. But I knew it was dark, and I knew I was alone.

Two things that I didn't particularly like the sound of.

I waited, not sure what I was meant to do. For some reason fear hit me. A sense that something was perceptibly _wrong _was rooted in my mind. The blackness seemed to stretch on forever. It was the sort of suffocating darkness that made me press my fingertips to my eyes gingerly to make sure they were open - though it made no difference either way. I couldn't see anything. It was that horribly dense, all encompassing darkness. Carefully, my hands sought something in the black, trailing along whatever surface my back was against. Cool and rough stone was beneath my trembling fingers. I felt across the floor, stopping when my hand became wet, coated in some unknown liquid.

That was when the light appeared.

Small at first, merely a pinprick of brightest white in the distance. Almost as suddenly as I noted its presence, a white hot pain flooded through me, and everything was illuminated. I threw my arms over my face to shield my eyes from the light.

I heard _her _name in the distance and my heart beat faster. There was a sound, a horribly pitiful scream echoing around wherever I _here _was. It was getting louder. Clumsily, I scrambled to my feet, which slipped against the wet floor. I was still shielding my face against the light. I could hear more voices… the screaming was muted now, a softly musical voice replacing it.

"I have brought her, master, as you commanded."

A convulsion of shock jolted through me. The voice was right next to me. Harmonious and thick. _Demetri's_.

I tried to scream - but I couldn't, my throat closed up from terror. In my haste to get away from the voice I stumbled, slumping to the floor as the brightness disappeared, dissipating so quickly I didn't have time to see my surroundings. Not able to make out who else was in the room.

It was a while - I don't know how long - before I heard anything else.

"Don't you understand?" A woman's voice, high from her evident panic. She seemed to be speaking with someone. _Arguing _with them. "I _can't_. I can't leave him."

"It must be done; our kind do not dwell with humans." This new voice was slick and cold, it resonated around the walls, making clammy sweat bead on the palms of my hands, still wet from whatever I'd come across in the darkness. "You may leave, Demetri - you have served me well." The sound of a door closing was faint. I strained my ears again when his remark was followed by sardonic laughter.

"_Our _kind?" She scoffed, but there was an edge to her sarcastic tone now, evident in her still higher pitch. "You and I aren't the _same_. No, I broke out of that years ago - if it wasn't for your… Henchmen, I wouldn't _be _here in the first place," - a silence, then, her voice so quiet I could barely hear it - "_Why _though? Why did you make me come back?…"

"I think you know the answer to that, Arielle." My breath caught. Not her. Not _that _name. Dizzying spirals flashed behind my eyes, I resisted the urge to wretch, now understanding who was talking.

"Do I?" Her voice was quieter still.

A derisive laugh filled the room, raspy, sinister - and horribly familiar.

"You belong with us."

"No! I don't - I won't - I'm not like _you_."

"How quickly you dismiss our connection, dear Arielle. Why is that? Why are you so quick to ignore the bond we share? One that not even _you_, who has broken many rules, can break."

"It's been _ten years_, Aro_. _Why? Why _now_?"I trembled, fighting back screams now. My suspicions had been correct. Aro. Always Aro. Forever following me. Never leaving me alone.

"Do not pretend," The soft voice - _Aro's _soft voice - had become a hiss, darker somehow, its malice mounting. "I know very well of what you've done. Impossible though I thought it was, I know now that you have broken my one commandment-" He was cut off though, there was a sound like backing footsteps, closer towards me now.

"_One _commandment? You had many - all ridiculous. You can't rule me anymore Aro. I made that choice when I was sixteen. I'm living proof that power doesn't bind, that your stupid elegy is nothing but words. I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of _you_. Sick of how superior you think you are. Let me leave. Now."

"I cannot do that."

"Why? I've done nothing-" There was a roar of indignation, a yell inhumanely high pitched, like a scream of contorted fury.

"Nothing? _Nothing_? You bear a _child_. For that I can't let you leave. Do you think that I am stupid? Didn't you learn from me? You cannot lie. Not when I can see so much. I know what you did, mixing with a mortal, trying to fulfil your dead mother's wish, were you?"

"Don't. Don't - just, just _please _Aro-" But he ignored her, and soon there was a choking sound, a whimper, I imagined white hands gripping her throat. He continued, while her gasps for air became less frequent. His voice was calm and emotionless.

"How long has it been? Not prominent yet I see, but soon it will be so. It will be disfigured - that is the case with humans. You should know that much. Why do you think you, yourself, are pitiable? Sharing blood with those who are destined for death." He spat, and her gasps for air became violent, I knew her body was trembling, and I became half desperate, half terrified for the light to appear again. To see them both; to try to help…

Aro's voice filled with disgust.

"They are tainted from birth, eternally imperfect, weak and feeble. That is all humans are. Your child will be ridden with disease, its faith mapped. You have disappointed me, Arielle. I expected great things from you and I get _this_?-" There was a horrible scream, and the sound of her body crashing against the wall and slumping to the floor.

There was a long silence then, and I felt my head swim. Retreating footsteps sounded, and then Aro's voice was far away, almost too faint for me to catch his words.

_"It will not survive."_

I felt myself fall then, but not before the room was flooded with light. Not before I saw her pale face and ash hair, her emerald eyes staring at me in horror. Not before I saw Aro's figure slip behind an iron door. Not before I noted the stone walls and tile floor.

And not before I saw the blood, coated on my hands.

***

**(A/N:** *_I love that last line, sinister much? :p* Right then, I'm sorry for all the POV switches, but this is a dramatic chapter and I thought the whole choppiness of it might help. And yes, I was probably_ very _wrong. Anyway - this next bit is shortly after Edward says: 'I _have _to' like the 'What Happened Last Chapter' snippet - confused? This is before that dream, set last night when he appears to have just… left, when in fact it's slightly more complex than that. After all, did he _want _to leave her? Still confused? Well, hopefully it will make more sense later on_. Then again, maybe not**…) **

**Edward's POV: **

_Complicated. That's what things are. Much too _complicated_._

I paced up my room again, restraining myself from jumping out the wide open window into the faint sunset just beginning to peak over the horizon, wanting to drown in the dim mixture of ochre and red.

My words to the injured girl, who had - mere hours before - been cradled in my arms, had been callous, hard. They were, in all senses, sharp and hateful words that were used - normally - to inflict harm on the other. To slight, offend, _hurt_. Yet I didn't want to harm _her _- quite the opposite, I wanted to _protect _her.

And this was where the problems arose.

My mind had been so infatuated, I hadn't been able to think straight. The time with her had been light, free. An entirely new feeling that I'd missed for so long. I'd felt so _human_. And then I'd felt resentful about my feelings, disgusted by the way I couldn't stop looking at her, at the way every single time she fell my arms would instinctively stop her fall…

She was overpowering me. The thought of her going to the _Volturi_, of them _taking _her, was more than I could bear. I couldn't let her get taken away; it just simply wasn't an option.

And yet with all of these thoughts running around my mind. Each as impulsive, and enigmatic as the rest, I couldn't explain it to her. I couldn't portray why I wouldn't let her come with me without revealing how much I _did _care.

So I'd taken up the offensive instead.

I'd been _stupid_.

I'd shouted at her, throwing a lies laced with terrible truth. The truth I feared each passing second that she would see, the truth that I couldn't even accept myself.

These last few weeks had been following a trend. A pattern I'd failed to notice. Each time she would get closer to me, and each time I'd be at a loss as to what to do next, so I'd tried to _ignore _her. It hadn't worked. Fury was what happened next, I had lashed out, wanting to scare her, to keep her away.

I'd decided, come to the only rational conclusion I could, that she and I were better apart. Far apart. Every rule seemed to twist around her, my charms didn't work. I couldn't hear her thoughts. My charisma was met by sarcasm; my rage by her fury; my strength by her determination. She _matched _each skill I possessed, could parry whatever I threw at her.

I couldn't help it. I could never organise my thoughts around her. Everything I knew seemed to just dissipate in her presence, because my thoughts would be only of _her_.

Maybe it was her thoughts - I reasoned to myself - or lack thereof, which intrigued me. Bella's had been a complete block, something that would constantly irk me, how I could never understand what troubled her. Lucie's was different, her thoughts and dreams pouring out of her when she slept. Though while awake, her mind was shut off - unattainable. Her thoughts kept under lock and key, continually out of my reach. I was constantly relying on her expressions, trying to decipher each one that flitted across her face - to work out who she was. She was infuriating, intriguing, and impossible.

And yet though her shut-off mind was maddening, in many ways I craved it. When I was with her there was that blissful silence, and I would momentarily forget that my heart no longer pulsed blood through my veins, I forgot that she and I were from opposite worlds, that I was _inhuman_.

Until the bloodlust rose up.

Each and every time it would hit with too potent a force but I had learnt to tame it, to resist the terrible urge to kill... That had been my reason for leaving Bella. Her blood was the most potent, more so than Lucie's, it sung to me, a drug that I _wanted _to be addicted to. Because it kept me sane, her scent, her _blood_…

Disgust filled me at my thoughts. The hidden dormant growling in approval of them.

I changed my path of thought, pacing up and down my room faster, resisting the urge to run back again. To hold her, to make sure she was alright. _She's safe_. I reminded myself for the umpteenth time. _Carlisle said she was fine, she just needed sleep. Rest. That's all, there's nothing wrong…_

But there was something wrong. Something was wrong with _me_.

I sighed and fell to my couch again, ignoring the furious thoughts of Jacob outside, already in his wolf form and ready to leave.

_Hurry _up _leech. I've been waiting for frigging hours, and all you can do is mope. Bella could be dying- _

I ignored him. What irked me so much was that I _wanted _to go. Wanted to find her, to save Bella, then rip the Volturi limb from limb… but I couldn't yet. Not when my thoughts were so confused and garbled, a mesh of chaotic hidden feelings. So I sat there, brooding and quiet, desperate to work out the question that had evaded me for so long: _why_?

I'd known Rosalie's vanity the instant I'd seen her first thoughts, not that they were needed. Her every act: the way she would glance in mirrors, the attention craving drawl, the casual flirting and haughty air showed as much. I didn't dislike Rosalie; I just didn't like her either. Rosalie used her beauty like a viper, something she'd slash out and bite people with, she knew of her beauty and used it. _Relished _in it.

But Lucie didn't even realise she was beautiful.

_Maybe, _A part of my mind reasoned, _maybe _that's _why. Maybe you're just intrigued because of how she views herself… maybe…_

But even my internal denies were futile.

It wasn't like Bella's beauty - Bella didn't seem to understand that looks from others at school were because of _her_. Not her personality, not her intelligence, but her beauty. That Lauren and Jessica's sneers were out of jealously rather than just immediate resentment. She had that classical porcelain skin other's envied, full lips, subtle curves, long dark hair… _She _didn't have to endure the improper thoughts of the generic Mike Newton. I felt, despite myself, my teeth grit. I wasn't bias; I could tell what others thought of her, an unfortunate power that came with being able to read their minds.

Lucie didn't have that. She was fairer, thinner and paler, ultimately _sicker _looking. It wasn't obvious that she was pretty, not when she hid her figure with her clothes, made no effort to make herself stand out, stayed quiet behind her blonde hair. She didn't send all of the boys' minds into a frenzy when she arrived. They hadn't fawned over her like they had with Bella, not all competing for her attention.

They _swarmed _to her sure - but that was custom. It was like throwing them some meat, and they all wanted to be the alpha male who could keep it. If Jessica (despite having little more than unruly curls and average intellect) had been 'the new girl' they would have reacted in the same way. They would have all flocked to her, curious and eager. But over a few weeks - days maybe - it would have dissipated, she would have become no more than like all the other girls in Forks. No longer a novelty. Bella had been shocked by all that, at a loss as to why their attention hadn't _ceased_…

Still, Lucie's looks did have an affect on Mike, who for some reason seemed even more eager even after Bella had turned him down. Bouncing right back… (The boy simply didn't _learn_, did he?) Even so, despite these subtle differences, she was like Bella in one respect.

Utterly obvious to herself.

Though I could see why her esteem was low. Why she couldn't see what other saw, what _I _saw. She had a sort of tarnished beauty. Like an opal before it was polished. Not clear at first, but horribly bright under the surface. The iridescent irradiance of it.

I hadn't seen that beauty at first.

But I had tonight, and by then it was already too late.

Because when I'd found her, staring up at me from the earth floor, her hair tangled and strewn across her face, dirt smeared across one ivory cheek and a mixture of hope and relief brimming in her emerald hazel eyes. I'd realised something.

She had never looked more beautiful. She was alive, alive and fighting. Refusing to get beaten by Demetri, that much was clear through the anger in her eyes - green dominant over the caramel. She stared at me, and time had seemed to just… _stop_. I'd held her gaze, and a thousand things had fitted together, all terrifying.

Yes. Lucie had just made everything much more _complicated_.

***

**Lucie's POV:**

I didn't know quite what to think when I woke up.

I was twisted in linen sheets, my legs tangled in the fabric, covers thrown off. It took me a few seconds to realise I was still convulsing, thrashing and trembling. Hair was stuck to my forehead and strewn across my eyes, held there by cold sweat. I shut my eyes briefly, only to find the image of her vivid eyes burned against my retinas. Aro's retreating steps rang in my ears; the feel of the damp walls; the smell of the metallic blood on my hands…

I sucked in air sharply, snapping my eyes back open, still fruitlessly trying to stop shaking.

I stood up, only to fall back against the bed again. I resisted the urge to pummel the soft quilt with my fist and yell out. I was so _weak_. I could barely stand properly without stumbling, last night's occurrences - now seeming so long ago in comparison to my most recent dream - flashed before my eyes and I let out a groan. _God, I'd been so_ stupid.

"Lucie?" I looked up; standing by the doorway was Esme, looking anxious. I inwardly cursed myself for groaning. I tried to set my expression into what I hoped was an: _I am okay _sort of look.

I don't think it worked.

"Hey Esme," I said, with my attempt at a smile. Her expression didn't waver. She was by my side, carefully making sure I was back underneath the quilt again, I gave her an odd look. The slight tinge in my arm confirmed my theory that what had happened before hadn't all been just a big dream, despite how surreal it was. I could feel I was wearing the same clothes, and didn't know what feeling was more prominent. Disgust at wearing them for so long, or relief that someone hadn't changed them while I was unconscious. I settled on the latter.

It took me a few seconds to realise that Esme had now propped and fluffed some more impeccably white pillows and had thoroughly tucked me under the heavy blankets and Afghan quilt again. I began to feel uncomfortably hot.

"What, can't I get out of bed?" I joked, prying loose the covers as I said so.

Esme frowned.

_Oh, you have got to be kidding me._

"Lucie," Esme started quickly, evidently at the look of sheer indignation that flashed across my expression. "You're not well honey-" She pulled my fingers loose of the covers, and settled them neatly by my sides. I didn't object, instead remaining unwilling compliant because of her words. _Honey_. I instantly felt sick. My father was the only person who'd ever really called me that and meant it. Esme continued, not noticing my blanch. "Carlisle and I have agreed to look after you while-"

"I'm not sick!" I said, surprised at how piqued my voice sounded to my ears. "I'm fine Esme, last night just happened because-"

"You're malnourished? Physically exhausted? Overwhelmed by shock?" Offered a voice from the door, I looked up to see Carlisle - now standing at Esme's side, assessing me. "Lucie, there's nothing wrong with you-"

"Then why-?" I began, aware that I was becoming slightly red.

"There's nothing wrong with you," Carlisle continued as if hadn't interrupted him, "but you need _rest_. Do you know how many days you've been running on non-existent energy? Or when you last ate a full meal?" I didn't answer either of those. I didn't know what made me feel more ill; the prospect of eating food, or the thought of how long I'd been without it.

Carlisle nodded, as if my facial expression was as good as an answer. "You need food, and rest Lucie. We don't want you getting sicker." _Sicker_. My mind whispered in a horrified tone. _As in, _already _sick?_

"I've just… not had _time_." My excuse was pitiable even when I tried to rephrase it. "What with being chased and nearly eaten by a few creepy bad vampires," Both Esme and Carlisle's expressions now seemed to be set in a frown of concern. Evidently they didn't see the humour in my words. Well, they probably _did_, it just wasn't very funny. "But I can eat if you want; I'm just not willing to stay in bed all day. What time is it anyway?"

Carlisle and Esme exchanged a nervous glance.

"All the same, Lucie," Carlisle said in a careful voice, "though you may think you feel better; I'd advise if you don't overstrain yourself. Your arm has a fracture in it-"

"But we're not discussing my arm, are we?" I said, just as carefully. I was fully aware how Carlisle was dodging my questions. My suspicion spiked.

"No," Carlisle gave, what might have been a slightly rueful smile. "You are far too astute for your own good Lucie." He said cryptically, "But my medical trainings leads to the same course of action. I still suggest you stay in bed regarding your condition-"

"What condition?" I was aware I was sounding impertinent, but I couldn't help it, Carlisle's cool hands had become iron restraints, pinning my arms to their sides.

"You passed out because of sheer exhaustion, both physical and probably physiological too. Your system's shot from not eating properly for days. You're practically dead on your feet anyway with the amount of sleep you've received recently, and the fact that you slept a solid 26 hours proves that your body needs-"

All of what Carlisle said had been deaf to my ears because of his last few words. I stared at him, mouth open, in utter horror. Dread slowly sinking into every pore in my body as my mind raced.

"_Twenty-six hours_?!" I shrieked.

***

**(A/N: **_If you were wondering, yes, I am indeed trying to drive you insane with all of these POV switches. Why? Because I feel like being evil today :p You should give it a try - 'tis highly amusing._**)**

**Edward's POV: **

I could still smell Lucie's lingering fragrance on my clothes. It was an ethereal reminder of _her_, and it was distracting me. _It's apple blossom… apple blossom and aromatic lily flowers_… I snapped my mind back to the way we were running, trying to rid every thought I had of her. Fruitlessly trying to drown them out, listening to our synchronised heavy footfalls, the rush of wind, the whispers of the forest…

But every time I closed my eyes, she'd be staring right back at me.

It was Bella, I thought furiously, _Bella _who I want to save. Bella who I loved, who I would give anything for. Bella to whom I would give up my life. Bella who was trapped, Bella who was captured. We were together as one; no one could separate us, no one could come between us. My thoughts sounded so true, so _real_. I loved Bella. _Just _Bella.

Then why, _why _could I see _her _eyes when I closed my own? Why did I see hazel-green instead of brown?

The answer seemed in reach. But I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't accept it - I _wouldn't _accept it. Because it was impossible.

I found myself trying to visualise Bella's face. Warm, and happy.

But I couldn't do it. Each time I tried to picture her; I would full with that same feeling of dread.

Because each time, no matter how hard I tried to alter it, Bella would stare back at me, her eyes lifeless.

***

**Lucie's POV**:

Carlisle was carefully approaching me, like I was something delicate and skittish that might run if he advanced too swiftly. In fairness, I probably looked just that. I couldn't tell whatever look my face had adorned, but my heart was already hammering feverishly fast at his words last words: _"What did you dream about?"_

"How? I…" My voice had become tiny, as if the shriek I'd uttered minutes before had damaged my vocal cords. "I don't understand…How did you? I could have - wait, what if I didn't even have a dream?"

Carlisle knew, as well as I, that the last part wasn't an option.

It was Esme who spoke, her own voice was quite as quiet as mine - there was something troubled in her expression as she looked at me. An anxious edge was imbedded in her motherly features, and something - I couldn't place what - seemed… _off_.

"Well, you were shouting out a lot…"

I gulped, my suspicions dying, instantly afraid. Could this by why they looked so concerned? My mind raced ahead to what they could have worked out. I didn't want them thinking I was crazy, and I definitely didn't want to recount the dream again for them. Just experiencing it once was more than enough.

"What…" My throat had become thick "H-how much did I say?"

"Not much," Carlisle gave a quiet sigh. "Your words - devoid of the irregular yells - were mainly mumbled, just incoherent strings of thought. Dreams are an interesting subject, one of which I do not know much of, surprisingly enough." He gave out a slight chuckle, "Humans rely on involuntary thought to shape their mind as they dream. They should be merely a sequence of erratic and confusing images that share a relation to perhaps whatever the person in question was thinking of before they fell asleep. In fact, if you want more scientific terms, dreams are simply the random firings of neurone cells as interpreted by the more primitive aspects-"

Esme placed a light hand on his arm, smiling fondly up at him.

"I think you've hit the definition of 'dreams' quite accurately enough dear." Carlisle looked slightly sheepish.

"Forgive me," He said bashfully, "I am quite certain you have enough confusion for the time being without me going on about the functioning's of the brain,"

Well, he could certainly say that again.

"Now," He continued swiftly, his voice more intense than before, the seriousness of the situation paramount. "I want you to know that in normal cases I would blow off things like this. Sleep talking, sleep walking even - is a common trait. But…" He trailed off slightly, perhaps because of the look on my face.

"I'm not a normal case, am I?" I put in quietly.

"No," He gave me a rueful smile. "That you are not, Lucie. Please don't take this the wrong way. You are - despite minor issues that can easily be treated-" His eyes lingered slightly on my arm, "in perfect health. The only reason I have to worry is that schizophrenics often experience vivid dreams such as yours."

I think my expression looked probably a bit too alarmed at that.

"But," Carlisle hastened to add, "here, that is clearly not the case. My theory - and it is only a weak theory at that - is that your dreams mean something."

"Well yes," I said, slightly confused, but unable to completely hide my exasperation. "I'd already worked that much out thank you very much." I suddenly felt incredibly nervous, shocked that my words sounded so sulky to my ears. Esme looked somewhat amused by my now flustered complexion, "Sorry-" I added out of immediate guilt. "I didn't mean to sound so… ungrateful for everything. You know that I can't possibly _begin _to thank-" Esme cut across me.

"Lucie," She said quietly, "please don't. You're as much as part of this family as any one of us. You alone deserve to be cross with all the things you've been through. None of us resent you for that," But she looked a little worried when she said this, I knew why. She couldn't really say 'none of us' when I knew very well that Edward good as much despised me for what I'd caused him to forget. Briefly, a look past across her eyes, but I couldn't name it. Her expression twisted minimally for the briefest moment, fear alighting her butterscotch eyes - but as soon as it appeared it left. A delicate smile now on her face.

Carlisle brought me sharply back into focus.

"I'm sorry if I am being imprudent, but I must ask: can you tell me something? I am aware that the subject may be sensitive, but can you tell me something if it will help us all figure out this enigma that seems to be wrapped around you?" He said, not blinking as he stared at me, trying to decipher each emotion that flashed across my features.

Slowly, I nodded. His eyes never left mine as he spoke. I half knew the words before he'd uttered them.

"Who is _Arielle_?"

I didn't break eye contact, but I was aware of how still Esme was by Carlisle's side. Her frame freezing at her husband's words. For some reason, this struck me as slightly odd. I pushed the thought aside though, realising the thoughts I'd been holding back of her had been procrastinated long enough. I sighed quietly.

"Oh, her…" I said weakly. "She was my mother."

***

Thankfully, they hadn't pressured me to answer anymore questions after that. Carlisle had looked his usual calculating self, whereas Esme's eyes had widened fractionally, causing that same twist of _something _to kick into my stomach. I didn't have time to ponder the thought though, because seconds later Esme had brought up the topic of food. The next five minutes had been long. I'd fruitlessly tried to reassure both of them that I was fine, perfectly okay.

They hadn't bought it.

I hoped my façades weren't getting weaker. It wasn't a _complete _lie. I was fine in most physical terms, but I certainly wasn't emotionally. I'll admit that in one of my attempts to stand I'd winced slightly at the twinge in my ribs - that was enough for Carlisle to deem me incompetent at walking anywhere.

My arm, thankfully, felt fine. Carlisle informed me of how it had a fracture, which was why it was in plaster, but that it would heal quickly enough and that the painkillers would keep me from any discomfort. He'd also told me that he'd previously informed Forks High School of my absence, putting it down to a joint holiday that my father and he had organised. Apparently, claiming that I was ill would only rouse suspicion and worry, though this news had fallen onto deaf ears as my mind had raced. I hadn't been able to hide the flash of pain that shot across my features at the mention of my father.

But now Esme was back, carrying a tray of food, and gently placing it in front of me. Suddenly, Rosalie and Emmett were also in the room. I felt irrationally nervous all of a sudden. _Do they all need to stand there and…_watch_?_

I looked down at the food with trepidation. I really didn't want to eat at the moment, I felt slightly sick still, and my mouth was that horrid dry texture that one had after sleeping for too long. It reminded me of old paper. Carlisle must have seen something in my expression (which , I have to say, was probably a sort of demented _grimace _at this point) because he gave one of those little coughs designed for people to indicate that they wanted to speak.

"Do you want anything to drink Lucie?" He said helpfully, I nodded, then spoke when I realised he wanted me to specify what.

"Um, coffee please." I tried to resist the urge to scrunch my nose up at the mere thought of it. I didn't like coffee; it was too bitter, but I needed the caffeine.

The briefest of frowns flashed across Carlisle's usually smooth features, I knew he probably already knew my reason for wanting that particular beverage. That and the fact that in my condition, I almost certainly had a low tolerance for caffeine.

He was back by my side only a minute later, placing a mug of steaming coffee neatly on the white tray. I'd come to dislike the colour white. Everything was white here. It wasn't even the colour that annoyed me, just the connotations that arose with it. White bed, white pillows, white walls, white mug, white tray. Everything was too… _sterile_.

_Stop thinking up excuses; just eat the damn food already!_

I decided to ignore their anxious expressions and started eating the food placed in front of me, glad that it was just a simple dish with plain rice. (May I point out, plain _white _rice…) I tasted the meal cautiously, hoping I wouldn't feel nauseous. I knew I ought to eat - I needed to gain energy and strength, and it wasn't like I was concerned about gaining weight.

As soon as I'd placed the food in my mouth, I realised something:

I was starving.

I quite forgot that four pairs of eyes were watching me; that I was a guest here; that the people here didn't even _eat _the way I did. I think I forgot manners all together to be honest. I ate the meal with gusto, that until this moment I didn't know I possessed, shovelling the warm foot into my mouth gratefully. Not able to get enough, my stomach rumbling in satisfaction.

And then I remembered where I was.

My spoon fell back onto the tray with a clatter. I looked up to their faces, realising how repulsive all of that must have looked. I didn't know what to make of their expressions though. Carlisle looked satisfied; Esme relieved; Emmett amused and Rosalie… well, to be fair, _did _look repulsed. But she didn't comment as I caught her eye, turning her gaze to the wide windows. I felt embarrassment creep up my neck and face, and I spoke too quickly, the words tumbling through my mouth.

"I didn't mean to look - I mean eat - like a savage! I can - I didn't - I mean…I'm sorry."

_Yes, because _that _made loads of sense…_

Mortified, to top the fact that I was rendered utterly incoherent, I realised I had just spluttered out a mouthful of rice. One piece was stuck to my chin. My faced burned.

_Great_.

There was a long pause then, and I averted my eyes down eyeing the half eaten meal and discarded spoon, no longer sure I wanted to eat, and if so - definitely not with company. And then quite suddenly, Emmett let out a howl of laughter.

"God Luce, you have _got _to have more food here! I think that's the best entertainment I've had all day!" I lifted my head again, and gingerly picked up my spoon. Grimacing weakly as he continued to snicker, he gave me an impish grin, "Who'd of thought a pretty girl like you would be so _filthy_!"

Rosalie gave him a slap at that.

Carlisle laughed, "Well, Esme and I will leave you be then Lucie," He said to me gently. "Eat up, there's plenty more where that came from." I nodded, still red faced, and he and Esme left the room. Esme handing me a tissue to clean my face with on her way out. Rosalie and Emmett stayed though. For some reason, this struck me as rather odd.

I ate slowly now, making quite sure that I _didn't _look like a deranged animal.

"Err," I struggled with something to say, after the stretch of silence. "You don't need to… keep me company. I promise I won't choke on the rice or anything." Emmett raised an eyebrow at that in speculation. As if doubting that I couldn't even survive against a bowl of rice. I ignored him. "I mean you don't need to _supervise_, I will finish it all - If Esme asked you to-" Rosalie cut me off.

"Don't worry about it Lucie," She said, surprisingly quietly, but still staring out of the window as she said it. I hadn't noticed the colour of the sky. It was a pale mauve; a sunset was just beginning to form. "We're not staying because of Esme."

I looked at her pointedly.

"Who for then?" I asked sceptically. I highly doubted that they wanted to be around me _willingly_. I wasn't exactly fun at the moment. It occurred to me that I didn't know what an earth the Cullens did in there free time. Snatches of bits of Bella and Jasper's pasts flickered in my mind. It seemed as though they spent most of their time together, _intimately._

I blushed for what felt like the fifth time at that, and abruptly tried to think of something else. But there _wasn't _much else. The male Cullens liked to play fight, and Alice and Rosalie would shop, but otherwise they remained to themselves and partners. Well, apart Chess competitions between Edward and Alice. Emmett coughed - sharply bringing me out of my stupor.

"Why, we're here Luce, on nobody's account. We just want to be with you because we think you're a witty individual!" He said in an overtly jovial tone. I raised my eyebrows.

"Right." My voice dripped sarcasm. Emmett thought for a moment, and then looked at me mischievously.

"You know Luce," I scowled at the nickname that he _still _hadn't dropped. "I just remembered something; I have a new favourite word: emasculation..." He grinned, I wanted to be annoyed at him, but I couldn't. I just rolled my eyes tiredly.

"Emmett-" I half whined, half sighed amusedly, "we already had this conversation, I do _not _want any specifics on the matter. And besides, you'll make me lose my appetite."

"Ah, I don't think that will happen. You looked ravenous seconds before." I couldn't do more than splutter when he mentioned that, flushing _again_. At this rate, I wondered if my complexion was going to be _permanently _florid. Emmett only grinned broadly at my humiliation. "And personally, I think it's my _duty _to inform you all about how-" I cut across him, putting my hands over my still-red-face.

"No Emmett! _No_. I don't want to hear it-"

"Oh c'mon, a little light-hearted discussion can't hurt, can it?" He persisted.

"No," Rosalie drawled unexpectedly, "but it could probably scar the poor girl." She finished in a bored voice, idly studying her hair, searching for nonexistent split ends.

"Are you speaking from experience?" I questioned. Taking my head out of my hands to see her reply properly, instead of squinting in-between my fingers as I'd done before. Rosalie finally looked at me, a calculating look set in her features, before she slowly smiled at me.

"I do have a lot of experience on related topics," She murmured with a coy grin.

Suddenly, I _really _didn't want to be in the same room with them anymore.

My saviour arrived in the form of Esme; she gave Emmett a stern look before turning to Rosalie and then speaking to me.

"I think it's time you got cleaned up. Rosalie, how about you show Lucie to the shower."

Thank god Alice wasn't here.

***

**Edward's POV: **

I could barely smell Demetri's scent now, and neither - it seemed - could Jacob. (Unless there was another reason for his continued string of profanities.) Though judging by his continued mantra of '_die bloodsuckers. Die_.' that he continued to shout in his mind, it could have been one of two things that unleashed his foul tongue. One; that he too hated the Volturi and wanted to beat them to an inch of their life, or two; that he hated me despite our mutual agreement, and blamed me for what had happened.

I'd been quite enjoying the silence though, true, I could hear Jacob's thoughts, but over the years I'd learnt to drone out things like his internal rants, to an extent anyway. Jacob couldn't speak when he was in his wolf form, now the only thing I could hear was his gruff breaths, and the patter of our synchronised bounds through the dense trees.

I was pulled abruptly out of my thoughts as Jacob voiced his own.

"You know, I really don't like you leech." Jacob spat, his dark eyes laced with hatred. _Right. I'll take option two then: he just hates me anyway_. I looked at him, he'd phased too quickly for me to notice, engrossed in my thoughts as I'd been, standing only in a pair of worn out jeans torn roughly at the knees.

I refrained from kicking him. So the dog didn't like me? It wasn't like this was some hidden secret, it _might _have been, but it wasn't exactly news to me that he didn't like me. Not when he kept thinking of me burning. Yes. _Burning_.

Well in all fairness _I_ was very near to thoughts of killing him at this point as well. (Mine were not, I hasten to add, quite as sadistic as his though. I never knew the mutt was so creative.) I gave him a look to match his sardonic leer.

"Don't worry," I said, trying as hard as I could not to keep the venom out of my tone. Provoking him into a fight would not help anything. Not now. Not when we were trying to unite (futile effort though it clearly was.) "The feeling is mutual."

"Stay out of my head." He snarled. _Oh, if I could I would. _Disturbing though images of myself on fire undoubtedly were - the ones of him and Bella wrapped in a passionate embrace were worse. _Much _worse. My tone became angrier.

"I assure you it's not on purpose," I whispered back, just as darkly.

"If it's not on purpose, then how's it happening? Just ignore me."

"Trust me; I've been trying to do so for this entire hour."

"Don't change the subject Cullen, stay _out _of my head."

_Oh just drop dead already, dog. _

"Well it doesn't help that you're practically broadcasting your thoughts. How about, just for once, _you _shut up."

He did, glowering off as we walked.

"So what?" Jacob said suddenly after are brief silence. He whirled around to face me, his features set in an expression of such loathing that it looked like he was in pain. "You're just a snobby, arrogant, bloodsucking vampire. I can say - or in this case, _think _- whatever I like."

"Charmed, I'm sure."

"You can't have everything, Cullen. You know as well as I that Bella isn't decided on who she wants, and you know I'm better for her."_ Ah. So _that's _what this is about. _I should have suspected as much.

"Yes," I said icily, "because dating a werewolf is the pinnacle of safe these days."

Jacob scowled. Then started to walk faster abruptly, I almost felt like sprinting ahead of him, I'd forgotten just how slow humans were. Even if he was a werewolf, and faster than most in his human form, he was still undeniably _slow _in comparison to myself. Humans always were.

My thoughts made something clench in my chest, I hated the way part of me saw them like that. Saw them the way Aro and his lot did, as humans, as _weak_. I looked at Jacob then, wondering if he'd watched the self disgust flit across my face, but he wasn't looking at me. His features were instead se in a rictus of fury.

We carried on, walking in complete silence, well - silence for him maybe. It wasn't silent for me, not when I could hear about the hundred ways I could get killed through Jacob's thoughts. They stopped jut after he'd envision holding a stick with my head on it, as Jacob turned towards me mid walk - a look in his eyes that was quite unlike his childish fantasies.

"I've got more control." He growled. I was too angry with him to contemplate this fully, retorting on instinct to his competing tone. Though I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Sam thought that," I shot back, feeling brief vindictive satisfaction as his russet complexion paled slightly. The haunting image of Emily was now imprinted in his mind, "and look what happened to the person he loved. Some control you've got. How close have you come to it? To lashing out?"

"Never," I was surprised to hear the slight shake in his tone now, "I've never even _considered _hurting her." I hadn't realised we'd stopped. But we had. Staring at each other, feet apart eyes never leaving the other's face. "Which is more than can be said for you…" Jacob whispered thickly. "Can you honestly say you've never considered, never been _tempted_, to kill her?"

Something dark and cold seemed to have gripped my dead heart. I felt an icy wave crash over me.

"_Can you_?" Jacob asked fervently.

"No. I can't." I said, loathing the truth.

And I hated myself, because I'd listened to Jacob's words, heard the fervour in his thoughts… and I was no longer sure which of us loved Bella more. The boy, young and boisterous, was more mature than I could have ever imagined when it came to loving Bella. The truth of the matter was like a stake to my heart (no pun intended) Jacob _deserved _her.

I didn't know quite what to think. My thoughts of Bella were mixed, haphazard opinions like restless butterflies that were refusing to settle, swirled around my mind.

_Mixed? What? No. You _love _her. She's the only person you've loved - the only person you'll _ever _love._

I had two arguing states of mind, both maddening. I finally settle on what I knew to be fact. I cared for Bella. I cared for her to such an extent that I wanted her to be happy, and if the only way she could obtain happiness was by being with Jacob I would…accept that. I made that choice long ago. Bella wasn't a possession. She wasn't _mine_…

The truth was though; I couldn't bear it anything happened to her. In fact, I knew that while I was in this state of mind, I would personally hunt the culprit and torture him (or _her _for that matter) to death…

When in fact, the only real culprit in the situation was _me_.

_I _was the reason she was getting hurt.

***

**Lucie's POV: **

I'd washed in that _ludicrously _large shower, not enjoying one second of the mercifully warm water that cascaded down my back. My mind had only worked furiously to decipher the dream I'd had earlier. _My mum was in it… _She'd looked younger than I'd seen her when she was little. There was more youth than I'd seen before in her features, none of the troubled expressions I'd gotten so used to as a child. A block formed then, my mind not permitting me to remember exact details of her. These thoughts only led me to the ones about my father, and I'd felt tears spring to my ears, no longer able to convince myself that it was only water from the shower falling around me. Gingerly, making sure I didn't slip on the wet floor, I stepped out and wrapped myself in a fluffy soft towel.

I should have guessed what colour it was really. White again. I found myself scowling when I caught glimpse of myself in the mirror, continentally placed in front of me, steamed up slightly from the heat of the shower. I still looked too thin; it was more pronounced when I only had a towel around me. I didn't linger on my face; dismally seeing how pronounced my cheekbones looked. My skin taught unhealthily, pallor only emphasising it all. I picked up the clothes Rosalie had picked out for me. Some what looked like plain (though I knew they were probably designer) jeans and a pale ivy green top.

I shrugged them on, and noted how intricately designed the top was. It was almost like a bodice, with woven cream lace and ribbon fastening the piece together. It fitted me perfectly, but I didn't want it to. The swooping hemline only revealed one of my less appealing bruises from where I'd fallen from Felix's strike. It stuck out against the ivory of my skin, a deep bluish purple. I brushed my hair so that it rested over my collarbones, concealing the bruise.

I stepped out of the bathroom to see Rosalie perched on the edge of her bed. Her room was massive, but I liked it. Solely for the reason that it wasn't _white _like everything else. I wasn't sure about her choice of bed covers though - a deep scarlet.

"Could I have a jumper or something?" I asked hesitantly. She looked up, her eyes raking my figure.

"Why? That looks perfect on you."

I sighed, lifting my hair to reveal the bruise.

"Ah," She winced slightly, "I see. Wait a moment; I think I have something that will go with that."

Why, _why _did she need to find something that matched? I was perfectly happy with a big baggy jumper. In fact I was pretty darn sure that I'd _prefer _one of those. Baggy jumper any day, but tight clothes and lace? No thanks.

"You're as bad as Alice." I muttered under my breath, wondering as soon as I'd said the words where she was. The memories of last night made sense now. Alice had obviously seen Bella get captured… I remembered her telling Jasper to go, and assuming it was because he couldn't stand my scent. But it _hadn't _been that. She'd told him to go out to Bella; she'd been planning to _follow _him…_That _was what she'd blocked from Edward before when he'd carried me back… I felt stupid at how slow I'd been.

Rosalie appeared back in front of me in less than a second, passing me a cream coloured cardigan. I blinked slightly at her fast reappearance.

"I wouldn't say that," She smirked, "Trust me; this is tame in comparison to what Alice would have picked out." She looked me over once more, "And besides - green suits you, matches your eyes. And Edward likes lace…" I jerked my head up to look at her at that.

"Why pick out something that Edward likes though?" I asked, unable to stop my slight change in tone, frowning. "It's not like he's going to rush back to appreciate it." My words seemed bitterer after I'd said them. Rosalie stared at me for a long moment before replying.

"You're still upset about last night, aren't you?" She asked quietly.

I shook my head, weaving around her to sit down on the large bed.

"What were the last words he said to you, when you were arguing before I mean?" Rosalie enquired un-expectantly. I frowned at her, not knowing why she wanted to know. My voice sounded dull to my own ears, disgustingly lifeless as I remembered his irate form.

"He said that it was _his _fault…but that I was the reason Bella wasn't safe."

"What were his exact words?" Rosalie persisted. I pretended to struggle with this in remembering. When in fact I had the exact words burned into my mind. After a slight pause I said them, unable to completely quell the shakes in my voice.

"'Because I didn't protect her, I didn't even try to protect her. I forgot everything and everyone that wasn't you.'"

Rosalie looked incredulous.

"Then _how_," Rosalie began in an exasperated tone, "did you ever come to the conclusion that he didn't care for you? Can't you _see_?" The honest answer was _no_. But I didn't dare say it. Rosalie looked quite maddened, her reaction was honestly scary. I realised she was waiting for an answer, but I couldn't quite bring myself to speak.

"Um…No?" My answer had turned into a question. Rosalie let out a frustrated exhale of air.

"Honestly Lucie, Edward - cryptic though he was, hell, cryptic though he always _is _- was basically telling you that he _couldn't keep his eyes off you_. He was so wound up around you that he forgot Bella, and so well he should when she was voluntarily spending time with that dog-"

"Jacob." I interjected quietly. However much he disliked me, however many dark looks he'd given me, however much he blamed me for Bella's absence - I didn't appreciate the way he was talked about. True - he referred to the Cullens in a plethora of derogatory ways: leeches; parasites; bloodsuckers… but somehow the way Rosalie and Edward called Jacob _dog _seemed harsher, more malicious, in their silk voices, laced with an underlying hate that was too abnormal to be human.

"Whatever," Rosalie muttered, though not before eyeing me curiously, as if confused to why I'd stick up for him, "my point is: He should have forgotten Bella. In all senses she was just as safe with the wolf pack as with us. Believe me - Edward specifically made us _check_, the worrier that he is. Bella's safety has always been a thing to top his list, and yet he blamed _himself _when she found out they had her."

She stared at me meaningfully for a few seconds. "Heard me? _Himself_. Edward doesn't blame you. The stupid guy just blames himself… it's _what he does._ Trust me, when you've known the guy as long as I have you tend to pick up on his faults."

"Don't forget precocious," I said, though I couldn't quite bring myself to smile, "I don't understand why others are swayed by that age disguise he puts up. It's obvious he's not seventeen." Rosalie smiled slightly at that, but looked utterly serious when she spoke next.

"But you're still hurting yourself over it," She murmured quietly. I was about to protest against this, assure her I was fine, but she added quickly, "Don't apologise. You hide it well enough, but I can see you're still upset - and you shouldn't be. His anger rules him Lucie; don't cut yourself up about what he said, especially when there was an underlying message in it all."

"And what was that?"

"Just listen to his last words again, Lucie: _I forgot everything and everyone that wasn't you…_" I stared at her, my lips falling open slightly as something inside me clicked. I instantly discarded it. _That's impossible_. My rational side whispered. She gave a small sigh, "Isn't that clear enough?"

"But-"

"Not 'buts' Lucie. Mark my words - Edward hasn't given up on you yet. So stop it. Stop being upset over something you don't understand."

"No, I'm not-" I struggled for words. "It's just that…" I carried on sounding inarticulate as she looked back at me in silence. But I felt myself, despite everything, get fed up. Piqued by the patronising tone that her voice had taken. "Look, I'm not _upset _about it." But my voice portrayed the lie, and Rosalie sighed, no longer in exasperation - but in annoyance.

I held in a sigh myself; I didn't want to talk about this anymore. My head hurt, I decided to change the topic, I wasn't ready to think about Edward right now. It felt like all I had been sure of before had just been proved wrong, my feelings were in disarray - and it had given me a headache. "Look, It doesn't matter. I'm perfectly fine how it is, and I feel guilty for messing up everyone's life so much. But Bella's important, her life's at risk. And it's not like he cares about me - well, not in _that _way. Not in any way…" My words were rushed, and I instantly wish I'd kept them to myself, I felt heat flood my face.

But the atmosphere in the room had changed. Rosalie's exasperation seemed to vanish, replaced instead by something much worse. She stiffened, my disjointed sentence hang in the space between us, and I knew in those tiny moments of stillness that I'd said something terribly wrong.

She spoke very softly, but her tone was disbelieving and harsh.

"Doesn't care?" Her voice was deadly silent.

"-and he shouldn't-" I said quickly, furiously trying to work out whatever mistake I'd made, but Rosalie stepped towards me menacingly, abruptly irate.

"Do _not_," She hissed venomously, "tell me that he doesn't care Lucie. Not after all that's happened. Not after everything you've been through and everything _he's _been through."

"I-" But she didn't let me finish.

"Don't." Her voice was quivering, "Don't act like you're oblivious. I'm sick of that from _him_; I don't want to be cross at you too." (I'm sorry, but wasn't she _already _cross?)

"I don't understand what you mean..." I whispered.

"Do you know what happened after you blacked out?" She asked rhetorically, but I shook my head anyway. "He came out of the kitchen _carrying _you. And he didn't look at any of us. He just stared at you, as if doing that would somehow make you wake up. He talked to Carlisle, demanding that he looked after you-" I felt the air leave my lungs.

My previous retorts had frozen on my tongue, Rosalie noticed my catch in breath, but she continued relentlessly, her words flowing almost too quickly for me to catch them. Like they had been thoughts she had kept pent up for too long.

"He kept shouting at us all. And it was _awful _Lucie. I've never seen him more upset, Carlisle kept repeating, _'She's fine Edward, she's alright,' _but he'd just kept staring at you. Shaking his head and muttering. He made sure you were okay about five times before he set off with that dog - I mean Jake or whatever he's called - despite how many times _it _taunted him. It kept shouting: _'What about Bella? Don't you love her anymore?_' and… and then Edward looked like he was about to break. He'd been torn by making sure you were fine, and running off to save Bella and it was _killing _him…"

Rosalie's voice sounded like it was going to break; I could only stare at her.

"He insisted that we watched you until you woke up, then told us you needed to eat a lot. He stayed by your side until the very last moment. We all saw how much he didn't _want _to go… he wouldn't leave until he knew you were aright…"

And then we were both silent. I sank to her bed again. My head swirling with too many impossible thoughts. Too many things that _couldn't _be true.

"Come with me." Rosalie said abruptly, dragging me to my feet. She pulled me out of her room, (none too gently) her perfectly manicured hands were ice cold, her grip firm. And I only distantly realised she muttering slightly about how slow I was, then correcting herself on how slow _humans _in general were, before opening a door, and thrusting me forward into a room that I didn't take long in recognising.

Edward's room looked exactly the same as the last time I'd seen it. The window was open, a slight breeze ruffling the pages of a book on the floor, and the black couch still had its pillows arranged neatly on one side. It all looked untouched.

Rosalie was across the threshold faster than I could blink, bending down, and pulling out something from under Edward's bookcase. She then walked purposefully back to me, a sketchbook clasped in her hands.

She was bright in the darkness, her hair falling in cascades around her face - the complexion of shimmering pearls. Her eyes, I saw, were a surprisingly light shade of gold considering her anger. Her beauty was so stunning it almost hurt my eyes. But there was something beneath her beauty, some hard and cold. And I didn't understand it.

"Look at that Lucie," She whispered harshly, and I was shocked to hear the shake in her voice. It was not, I realised suddenly, contempt in her voice, but pain. She was not angry at me; just hurt. _She _was the one who seemed upset. Upset over Edward's suffering. It was sorrow rather than anger that had caused her hostility. She spoke quietly now, silently daring me to contradict her next words.

"Look at that and then tell me he '_doesn't care'_…"

She pushed the book into my hands, and a tiny gasp escaped me. This was _my _sketchbook. The very same one I'd dropped all that time ago in the forest when I'd seen Bella and Edward. My fingers started to tremble; I turned the page, recognising my rough sketches of inanimate objects. Flicking past the one of him in a meadow, and then stopping dead when I saw images that I'd never drawn.

There were about five of them. One on each page. Meticulously drawn portraits with a detail I'd never been able to master in art woven in to them. Each one had a tiny annotation at the bottom, written in that same elegant script that I'd come to associate with only one person. I read them through blurred eyes, not surprised when a tear hit the parchment.

_Edward Cullen: Illumination. _

On each of those five pages, there was a drawing of me.

***

…**So, how was it? **

**Can any of you remember Edward staring at Lucie when she was on the sofa? And when she noticed he was holding something? *cue the confused faces and mumbles of: 'No….') well, if by some miracle you **_**do **_**remember that (in which case I congratulate you on such astute reading) then hey - look what he was drawing all along. :p**

**Okay, I **_**know **_**that this chapter seems like a bit of a filler… but please keep in mind that it's preparation for the next one. (Was **_**that **_**Cullen interaction? Anyone?! - If Rosalie comes across as at all back to her supposed narcissist ways then I'm sorry. This is **_**not **_**the case. The spite she seemed to be radiating and directing at Lucie was because of Edward. She - I think - wants him to accept her more than anything at the moment, this story is set before **_**eclipse, **_**and Edward did have a slight issue with her after she let slip that Bella had merrily plunged to her supposed demise :p So in that last bit she's more angry at Lucie for being so **_**blind **_**to everything (she's not alone there). Annnnnd… I'll shut up. I'll end up giving too much away :p**

**Speaking of giving too much away: there were **_**lots **_**of little plot hints in here. So there! :p **

**Personally, I'm undecided as to whether it's good or not. I loved the chapter as a whole…. But it's split into two. And I prefer the second half, which I will post soon ;) But I'll let you be the judges. Please do inform me if I've turned awfully rusty at writing (and typically, I'm now envisioning myself as a bike that's turned all brown. That's the first thing that pops into mind with 'rusty' :p) **

**There **_**is **_**a reason for me updating late on a Tuesday, as apposed to at the weekend. It comes down to impatience on my part. It would more sensible to update on a Saturday, but hey, you never know, perhaps I've brightened up someone's day? *snort - okay, maybe not…***

**But it's mainly because I feel INCREDIBLY guilty (honestly, absurdly guilty! I've been getting that awful twisty feeling in my stomach…Oh I am sorry!) For being… **_**dead **_**for so long and I've decided to update roughly a week from today. *Cue the cheer* Oh, speaking of that date I have some news too. (Exciting huh?) I shall soon be anciently old. **_**15**_**. Yup. OLD huh? ;) (I'm just joking - I do not mean to offend you all. I'm well aware that people on here are much older than that. You're lucky. You've already had to suffer through school.) So yes, by this time next week, I'll no longer be able to use my age as an excuse for bad chapters and poor writing. Drat. However, in turning the age of 15 I prophesise that I will became fractionally wiser. Do you agree? I also want to update my seriously old profile. But I just… can't face it yet. There are too many errors… I cringe when I look at that and the early chapters of this story. Ah well ;) **

**So yes - I am still here and I hope you'll stick with me, because I **_**will **_**keep updating this. **

**To an anomalous reviewer, **leprauchan: **Thanks for your honest comment; I am sorry if this is becoming repetitive. It stops here. It **_**was **_**there for a reason, and hopefully with more chapters you'll see why. As for Lucie fainting - the majority of times she hasn't been fainting. That last chapter was more of a collapse of utter exhaustion than anything else, and as for her being so weak that her only options are dying or becoming a vampire… well. I don't think they're the **_**only **_**options. Besides, this chapter was really a 'recovery' chapter for her. I really do urge anon reviewers to get an account! Bah! The amount of times I've had brilliant reviews from anon reviews and can't reply… it drives me crazy! :p To everyone that hasn't even reviewed, but reads this, thanks. And if you assume I don't have time to read reviews that'snotthecase!! I cherish each one, really. I'll try to reply to reviews more often too from now on. 9By the way, I didn't receive any demand for Sneaky Peakys! You are all such fools! Honestly, the amount of blackmailing you could have given me! I'd have leapt at the chance ;D)**

**Also, I want to thank **fanpiremari **for her lovely reviews, they really helped me through my hectic little life and, of course, **Jade Lyssy Swan**. For providing me with chapters to read, for sticking through with my babbling and rants and (most importantly) for promising to never spontaneously vanish on me. And last, but certainly not least, a ginormous thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. **

**Oh - and I've never properly thanked (see? Good lord, look at all these 'thank you's I'm giving out) be everyone for adding me to their author alert list, or favourite author/favourite story list or just story alert!! So here: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH :D **

**If you're still reading this story, then heck, you are incredibly patient. Thanks. **

**Next chapter: There'll be romance *I know. Long time no see huh?*; there'll be action *HORRAH!*; there'll be a PLOT TWIST *didn't expect that, eh?* so yup. I'll be updating a lot sooner too. So there. That's about all I can do apology wise. :p Ohh, I know, how about I give a slight sneak peek here, good idea? Yes. Yes, I think it is. **

_Coming Soon Next Chapter…_

**Edward's POV:**

"No." I said slowly, Alice's eyes sparked in vexation.

"_What_?" She hissed, "Edward. No - we don't have _time _for this - stop being prejudice, Jasper's there already; I had to leave him, so that he can stop it if it gets any worse. And I left to tell _you_, there's no time Edward. And anyway he-" She pointed at wildly Jacob, "will get Bella - you need to get Lucie before-"

"You know, it's exceptionally rude to point," Jacob cut across her peevishly.

"_Shut up_!" Alice yelled at him, losing her normal calm, the fire in her gaze stopping Jacob from interrupting further. I heard his thoughts as if from far away. _Crazy. She's actually crazy_. _I should have realised there was something wrong, she _is _freakishly small_… My own mind was racing, but my brain was sluggish, unable to think straight as Lucie's wide eyes obscured my thoughts _yet again_.

"Edward," Alice advanced to me, gripping my arm, "Please. You can't just say 'no' not now, not when-"

"I didn't mean that." My voice was quiet. My thoughts still too slow. "I mean-" God, why couldn't I _think_?! "I mean _who _- who did _Aro _send?"

"He's sent-"

But I didn't ever get to hear who Alice had sent. Because right that second I had three different thoughts that weren't _mine _crashing into my head. Alice's, Jacob's and my own were all on the same train of thought - having heard the unmistakeable sound of footsteps in the distance.

But there was another set of thoughts. Darker, sharper and _hungrier _than ours.

And that was the precise moment in which Victoria sauntered into the clearing.

***

**Ooooohh! And that's only a **_**taster **_**of the action :D (Be honest, you assumed I'd forgotten about dear Vicky, didn't you?) And look - Alice is still here, never fear. She's pretty cross there though…**

**I'll say one more thing about next chapter: Lucie's 'gift' shall come into action once more. The question is whose past will she see?**

**Anyway - I hope this chapter, the prospect of another one soon, and that exclusive sneak peaky have earned me **_**some **_**redemption. Am I forgiven? (No. Probably not ;p) Ah well: Don't forget to REVIEW! **

**Have a BRILLIANT week!**

**Lily - She has a sarcastic thought right now: "And whoop. It's essay time!" she also, rather dismally, notes that her babble is not as short as she'd first predicted… :p**


	39. The Smattering Of Scarlet

**Heyys!**

**Oh frog. I am very sorry. I know this update has been so much darn later than I claimed… Argh! My life has just been one jumbled work pile really. Honestly, I'm about this close *shows tiny gap between fingers* from personally executing my teachers. They overwork me, they really do. I can't exactly talk; I was a CRAZY person who took extra subjects, which is why I've got _so much_. What a fool eh? Also, I'm going to New Zealand at Christmas (anyone live there? I _love _New Zealand!) and consequently missing 3 weeks of school, so I've got to work hard up until them. *Sigh* I'm an unsuccessful perfectionist when it comes to school. I probably work too hard, but I can't help it.**

**So yup. I'm overworked; I did however have this chapter practically finished on top of all that work, and sleepless nights but… well…**

**Then hedgehog had to just go along and commit suicide. Yes. My laptop committed suicide.**

**Well, its _lead _did. Hedgehog's tail (I can see your expressions: _Tail_? Trust me, there are limited ways to link a laptop lead to a hedgehog) decided to… die on me. 'Twas highly traumatic I can tell you. I was trying to print out my Biology essay at the time (I didn't manage to get it all printed out. I had to write all _nine pages _of it by hand and stayed up till 3am ;(…) and then the lead just… DIED. And Hedgehog had about 8% charge remaining… and oh - it was awful. Anyway. That meant I couldn't write all weekend (which is when I normally have a tiny bit of free time) - but hey! Hedgehog officially has a new tail. It's large and bulky. I think it suits him. :P**

**So with school work, a dead hedgehog and failing internet, this chapter had to be postponed. But LOOK! It's here now, shining and new, so don't kill me just yet ;p**

**For those who are still reading this: thank you so much for all of the support, not to mention patience. I really appreciate it. It's nice to know people even read the stuff I write - let alone take up their time to review :D**

**Oh, and before you read on - there's a reason why the cookbook mentioned in this chapter has a title related to **_**Harry Potter**_** - it's because I'm incredibly sad, and **_**very **_**easily amused, and I was sitting there giggling as I wrote that. ;) Nelephant Points to whoever can find the connection!**

**And here's the chappy!**

**What Happened Last Chapter:**

"Look at that and then tell me he '_doesn't care_'…"

She pushed the book into my hands, and a tiny gasp escaped me. This was _my _sketchbook. The very same one I'd dropped all that time ago in the forest when I'd seen Bella and Edward. My fingers started to tremble; I turned the page, recognising my rough sketches of inanimate objects. Flicking past the one of him in a meadow, and then stopping dead when I saw images that I'd never drawn.

There were about five of them. One on each page. Meticulously drawn portraits with a detail I'd never been able to master in art woven in to them. Each one had a tiny annotation at the bottom, written in that same elegant script that I'd come to associate with only one person. I read them through blurred eyes, not surprised when a tear hit the parchment.

_Edward Cullen: Illumination. _

On each of those five pages, there was a drawing of me.

***

**The Smattering of Scarlet**

**Lucie's POV:**

I was left staring at the parchment, almost transfixed. A thousand questions buzzed around my head, so forcefully I wanted to scream. The page was splattered with salty droplets now, and continued to be hit, as the tears trailed down my cold cheeks.

"This…" I fought down the shakes in my voice, "This… it's not-"

"Not you?" Rosalie asked, but the harshness had left it, it was quiet and soft now, not quite concerned, but not scornful either. "It is you Lucie. Edward's drawn you pretty damn accurately; he's too talented for his own good - let's leave it at that."

"No…" I said slowly, "I know it's me… but, I don't _look _like that." My sentence contradicted itself, but by now I was gone past caring.

"What do you mean?" Rosalie asked, taking the scrapbook gently out of my numb hands. I was glad she did. It felt like a heavy weight, like I wasn't _supposed _to have seen it. I felt like I'd invaded some privacy or something, crossed an unknown line. Rosalie's voice was very soft when she spoke. "It looks _exactly _like you Lucie..."

"No," I shook my head, "it doesn't, see - my hair looks nicer, I'm _smiling_, my eyes look prettier, I just look _better _here. I'm not really like that. Not at all."

"You have a nice smile," She said softly. "That's probably why he drew it."

She handed it back to me, but I felt sick, that wasn't _me_. That could never be me. I would never be like that, pretty and happy and safe. I flung the thing across the room, and it fell clattering, too loudly for the silence, to the floor, and then I was crying harder, hot tears staining my already wet cheeks, flowing down harder and faster to the carpeted floor.

"I'm not _her_…" I choked, wanting the floor to swallow me whole.

"Yes you are." She assured, "That's just how he sees you."

Again, the overwhelming urge to just _scream _nearly overtook me. It was like some sick mind game. Just after I'd convinced myself he wanted nothing more to do with me, just after I'd _told _myself that _I _didn't want anymore to do with _him_…

_He goes and does - _draws_ in this case - something like that…_

"Why me?" I cried in indignation, ire boiling inside me at this… _thoughtlessness_. "Why, why not someone who _does _look like that? Why did he have to _do _this?! Why didn't he draw someone that _is _perfect, like Alice, or Esme, or _you_?" My rage was met by her silence, but the calm had left, the now only the howling wind could express my inner turmoil.

"I'm not perfect Lucie." Rosalie said, and it was like the ice had formed again inside her, making her voice sharp and cold. "That's why Edward didn't draw me. I doubt he'd see beauty in any of my features."

"Why? You look like an angel." I blurted out, before I could stop myself. I knew of course, that beauty meant nothing on the outside to most decent people, least of all to Edward, and I wasn't someone who judged people purely on looks. Still, what I'd said was true. Rosalie skin was flawless, unblemished and the sheen of pearls, unlike my own pasty alabaster, marred by the infrequent dusting of freckles on my arms, and the pattern of bruises on my skin. That, combined with her figure and face made her look like an angel - she only needed the halo to be complete.

And in those few brief seconds, Rosalie's face was alit, by a tiny genuine, and radiant smile.

"Emmett thought so too." She said softly, but the smile had slipped from her lips; her perfectly proportioned face twisted into a pained expression, tinged with a darkness that angels could never bear.

She danced across the room to me, twirling so that her hair shined silver through the ribbon of light emitted from window, and she whispered in my ear.

"'It is by suffering that human beings become angels.' - It's ironic really, how true that is. In reflection on how much I suffered through to become this way…though it only applies here in my looks, the transformation did nothing inside." She danced back into view, and there was a strange, regretful look in her golden eyes. She walked, slower than I had ever seen her move, to Edward's door. "I am no angel Lucie, I never will be."

And with those words, I was left alone.

***

**Edward's POV:**

We'd made some progress; the terrain was changing the further we went. Unease however, pricked along the base if my spine. There was something biting at me inside, making me feel uncertain and edgy. Though this wasn't really the most pressing of issues, more so was how goddamn _annoying _the idiot dog was.

He'd been keeping up the string of grumbles, distinctly blasphemous exclamations, curses, snide-leech-related comments, and more for _hours _now. It was only so long before I would snap. I sped ahead again; it was about the only vindictive satisfaction I could get at the moment. Every so often I'd get a good few meters away from him - enough so that his petty thoughts became easy to ignore, but each time I'd have to go back. After all, we were a _team_.

The thought made me feel positively ill.

I sighed slightly; I'd spurred on ahead too fast again. I leaned casually against a tree, so the dog liked to jibe? Well, two could play at that game. Jacob sped into view, his giant wolf form not in the least bit intimidating and reeking of _dog_. He snorted loudly at the sight of me.

_Tired leech? Huh, funny - I never thought dead things got weary. _Oh, Hilarious Jacob, really, just hilarious.

"I was _waiting _for you actually," I gritted out, still keeping the same stance, "appears you need more exercise, you're losing your touch a bit when it comes to running." Jacob growled, baring his teeth.

_Yeah well at least I don't feel the need to boost my ego by sprinting ahead every few seconds, when in fact that just wastes time. You know, if I didn't know better - I'd say you were intimidated by me leech, afraid you're not man-enough?_

I laughed bitterly, "_Intimidated_? Not 'man-enough'? And _this _is coming from an oversized pup?"

He just growled again and started bounding through the trees; I caught up easily, practically jogging against his strides. I looked at him, smirking. Jacob didn't retort, but his thoughts acted as an effective enough comeback. It was at least one that made me feel the need to retch.

_Oh stop your staring, will you? One would think you were attracted to me with all your surreptitious little side glances. And trust me, the last thing I need right now is for you become homosexual._

My lips thinned to a line. Not. Funny. _That _was just sickening. I had nothing against gay people - but the idea of him and me? Of me being _attracted _to a dirty, obnoxious, fleabag? I set my jaw, only just refraining from kicking the dog, sprinting ahead again, not waiting like usual for him to catch up.

_Teamwork_, I thought bitterly, _it's not worth it._

***

**Lucie's POV: **

I hated this. I had never, _ever_, in my entire existence felt so goddamn useless. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't go to school (sad though the prospect was) for Carlisle had explained to me the complications that would arise. _"Just wait until everything settles again, I promise things will return to normal." _I'd held my tongue at his words, because in all honestly I was sure that even he knew that things wouldn't 'settle' nicely.

Still, just sitting was driving me insane. A combination of guilt and worry twisted in my gut, eventually, I wrenched myself free of the sofa, determined to at least _talk _to someone. Everyone seemed to be avoiding me like the plague at the moment, treading carefully around me like I was something precious and fragile.

It was _excruciatingly _annoying.

I ran down through the halls, muttering about the universal unfairness of being human in general, before skidding to a halt outside the kitchen door. My sock clad feet slipping slightly on the polished wooden floorboards. Food, I decided, really couldn't hurt right now. After all, regaining strength was one of my highest priorities at the moment, wasn't it?

I swung open the kitchen door, to find Emmett sitting at a table - staring, in evident confusion, at a large round chocolate cake…

_Well. _I mused silently_; I never saw that one coming. _

"I just… _can't _see the appeal." He muttered at my arrival, and, quite childishly I wanted to cheer. _Finally, someone who won't treat me like porcelain_. I hopped onto the chair next to him, noting a large cookbook entitled _'Fantastic Cakes and How to Bake Them' _situated on his lap_._ My eyebrows rose.

"I mean," He continued, gesturing to the neat chocolate swirls of icing (that, I might add, looked _delicious_) framing the perimeter. "How are _those _meant to be - as the cook book describes it - 'mouth-watering'? They're the same complexion as _mud_."

I smiled wryly.

"You know, I never thought I'd see you making cakes Emmett, you didn't strike me as the baking type…" A full blown grin broke out on my face at the image of Emmett whipping cake mixture in a pink apron forming in my mind.

"I didn't; Esme made them." Emmett said distractedly. The happy picture popped.

"That's not nearly as comical as I imagined it." I mumbled, pouting slightly.

"Do you find it at all appealing?" He said suddenly, turning to face me with interest.

"If it tastes as good as it looks - then that's one heck of a yummy cake."

"_Really_?" Emmett asked, sounding genuinely perplexed, "You think it looks good? What - even with the-" He made a grimace, pointing at one of the violet and blue iced flowers, "…_decorations_…"

For an answer, I picked one off and placed it on my tongue, letting the iced flower melt there and licked my lips, letting out an: "Mhmm…"

Emmett shook his head disbelievingly.

"Humans…" He muttered, shaking his head, "Who'd of thought they'd get pleasure out of eating…garishly coloured flowers, I expect you're going to tell me this sticky-" he prodded the caramel icing "_Stuff_, is tasty too, huh?" I nodded.

I pulled my legs up onto the chair so I was sitting Indian-style, feeling great appreciation to Esme, the tiny iced flower was delicious, and I was sure the rest of the cake would be too. For the first time in what felt like days, I was fully awake. Sure, my ribs still ached, and I could barely _feel _my left arm, but hey - I was standing (figuratively speaking anyway) that had to account for something. I looked both at Emmett when I said my next words, determined to get an answer out of him. "Where is Edward?"

I saw Emmett, for the first time ever, look _nervous_. I continued, determined to drill an answer out of him.

"In fact; where exactly is he and what is he doing?"

It didn't take long for Emmett to regain composure. He sighed; it was sigh that told me I was completely and utterly useless. I waited. He let another out a gust of frustrated air, cocking his right eyebrow. I couldn't help it. A part of me just snapped.

"What?" I mumbled, slightly huffily at his exasperated expression.

"Well, _my _guess is that Edward is currently running to Italy."

"Oh," I exhaled loudly, abruptly feeling annoyed that his exasperation was because I'd seemingly over looked that point. (Well, that and the fact that he hadn't lowered his _flipping eyebrow_!) "Well _there's _a stroke of genius!"

"You know, I really don't appreciate the sarcasm," Emmett said, in what passed as a slightly wounded tone. He'd changed his facial expression and voice so fast, in the way that only good actors could do. "Here I go," He adopted a lofty air, gesturing wildly with his massive hands, "offering helpful suggestions to your question, and you thrust _sarcasm _upon me! The cheek of it." Emmett's voice had a ring of something that didn't at all suit his normal persona. It was, unmistakably, _formal_.

The absurdity of Emmett's tone had me momentarily silenced, I stared at him, slightly open mouthed. There was a pause before Emmett started to look slightly worried, "You know I was joking, right Luce?" I nodded slightly. "Don't ever try and impersonate Edward again Emmett, please."

He chuckled lightly, before turning back to the cake.

I tried to think on Emmett's words. He was right of course; Edward _would _be running to Italy. Jacob and he would meet Jasper there, and Alice too perhaps, where they would unite and try to save Bella. Raw fear twisted in me at this thought, _just four of them_… and _Alice - _smaller than others by more than a foot - being one of them. Surely that wasn't enough to confront the Volturi? Let alone reclaim Bella from them… In fact, the more I looked into the thought, the more preposterous it seemed. It was crazy for them to even attempt it. Three vampires and one werewolf trying to take on the entire Volturi guard…

But then again, would Edward - Jacob too - have had it any other way? My dad's words - spoken when I was seven and a half, on looking at him soaked wet waiting for my mum outside a station - finally made sense. The conversation rang, clear as crystal, in my mind.

_I'd ran out of the little bus shelter to him, the hood of my coat falling off in the hail and wind - my hair flying out and lashing my face. _

"_Why are you in the rain daddy? Why don't we stay at home and wait? Mummy can c-catch a t-taxi, c-can't she? This is c-c-cr" My teeth had chattered violently against the cold, something that was odd for me, who rarely felt the cold - even in the midst of winter. "Daddy - this is crazy! And not in a good crazy way either."_

_He smiled down at me, water droplets like crystals in his dark hair, he bent down till we were at eye level, wiping away some raindrops that had splattered onto my cheeks with his thumb, and pulling my hood back over my head. He even took off his own coat to wrap around me so that all he was left with was a shirt and trousers, his tanned skinned prickling all over with goose-bumps. I tried to protest, he was obviously _freezing _- but he started talking before I could say anything._

"_Because that's what love does, sweetie. It makes you do crazy things."_

I was brought out my memory sharply, Emmett's booming voice sounding loudly next to me.

"It really takes the point out of everything, don't you think?"

"I'm sorry? What?" I said, feeling a bit dizzy.

"The cake. What's the point in having food if you don't even have to _hunt _for it? Huh? You can't seriously tell me that _cooking _is as enjoyable as hunting can you? I mean, alright, _sometimes _you get to, I don't know unleash your anger on cutting up carrots or something… but cakes don't even _have _carrots in them. Unless there's a demented thing like _carrot _cake." he snorted at the absurdity of it all. "But that's pretty unlikely."

"Oh," I sighed weakly once I realised what Emmett was on about. "No… I, I don't suppose it is as… fun…" I trailed off, my forehead furrowing in confusion. Where had _that _memory come from? I hadn't had memories as sharp as that since my mum…but I blocked out that thought, feeling hot, tears pricking at my eyes. _Jeesh, Lucie, get a grip…_

"Luce?" Emmett asked, sounding concerned. "You okay? You're looking sort of pasty, sorry - I didn't mean to make you feel ill. I forgot humans don't tend to like the mention of hunting and killing stuff-"

"No," I said, to my horror, my voice sounded thick, "No - it's not - it's nothing like that."

"What is it then?" To my surprise, his voice was uncharacteristically concerned.

I clutched at straws, not quite willing to admit the truth.

"Err…Edward…" I said, somewhat uncertainly. He wasn't the reason why I was close to tears, that was my mother, the same woman who I'd shouted out for in my sleep, but I didn't want to think of her. Besides - I was worried sick about Edward anyway; it was a good enough excuse.

"What about him?"

"I'm afraid for him," I said quietly, "He'll get hurt - and, well, we didn't exactly leave on a good note…" My mind trailed back to before in Edward's bedroom, and Rosalie's words rang in my ears. I ignored them. Sure, her argument was pretty substantial, Edward had cared for me, it was the thing that drove him to draw those pictures. Still, the fact remained very clear. He had cared for me back then, back when the complications were small and unbidden. _Had_. Past tense. He didn't anymore, not with how I'd acted, not when I'd distracted him from protecting Bella…

"He'll get over it." Emmett said with a shrug, "I mean, I know he's stubborn - the amount of times I've tried to make him share his mountain lion with me proves as much - but he'll come around. I'm sure he adores you really." _Adoration? Right! Likely, that one._

"No, he's pretty… mad at me, to say the least."

"Nah, Edward's probably just covering up some deep founded love or something - he does that."

"I doubt it." I whispered quietly, utterly serious, despite his joking tone. "You didn't see his face Emmett… I don't think he can forgive me for what happened."

"Yeah well everyone knows Edward should be more magnanimous." I turned to Emmett is shock. "What?" He questioned, "Shocked I have such an awesome vocabulary?" I laughed despite myself, though the sound was hollow to my ears. After a moments pause, I felt a large hand on my shoulder. I looked up at Emmett, realising suddenly that the gesture wasn't meant to be condescending, but kind.

"Luce, he'll come back, you know that right?"

I smiled weakly back at him.

"Sure."

***

**Edward's POV:**

_Edward! You have to go back, you - _we _- have to stop him!_

The thought hit me clearly and sharply. I recognised its owner instantly; our close bound having strengthened the telepathic connection. Instantly, I knew something was terribly wrong.

Jacob however, did not.

"I suppose you wouldn't understand. You are, after all, a life sucking monster. A life sucking monster incidentally, who I am _talking _to," Jacob made a disgusted sort of grunt, "I can't _believe _this," He muttered darkly before continuing. "But yeah, Life sucking monsters tend not to care much about others welfare in my experience. You're too wrapped up in yourself, that or the thing you're sucking the life out of-"

But I droned out Jacob, what had seemed like an impossible task before seemed effortless to what lay ahead. His thoughts and petty comments meant nothing in comparison to the other ones I could hear.

_She's not safe. It was a ruse. A plan…_

But they were too disjointed for me to understand, frantic fragments of worry and danger that she was shouting in her mind. _The Volturi had an ulterior motive, Edward… _Her thoughts whirring too fast for to decipher.

That was when I saw her silhouette at through the trees. My eyesight was already immaculate, and yet my senses seemed to have intensified as I analysed her movements. Simultaneously noting how Jacob's stance became rigid, finally realising why I'd stopped still, his head snapping upwards from his scuffed feet to look at who I was staring at. His nose wrinkled as he smelt her scent, his own mind deciding whether to phase or not in the presence of another vampire. Setting his jaw in what could only be contempt.

Her tiny figure wove through the trees effortlessly, but there was an edge to her usual lope, it was anxious and hurried, tarnishing its normal ballerina-like perfection.

When she was within two meters from us she stopped. Alice's normal bubbly persona had vanished. She looked at me, not bothering to speak. Her face if at all possible, looked paler than usual. Horror, shame and fear chased each other across her features, twisting into a grimace of what I knew to be trepidation and terror.

Her thoughts were coherent now. But they were shrill, matching her expression.

_They're coming for her, Edward. I'm so _behind _everything! it's like I can only see things after its too late for me to change their outcome… but not this time, I can't let their plans come true - oh what am I doing?! Listen: Aro's sent him. He ordered him to take her while you tried to save Bella. He plans to hold both of them captive. He wants to make you _choose _between them. There's not much time, you've got to get to her, now- _

"Who?" I asked despite myself, already knowing the answer.

_Lucie. Go, _please _Edward, there's no time!_

"No." I said slowly, Alice's eyes sparked in vexation.

"_What_?" She hissed, "Edward. No - we don't have _time _for this - stop being prejudice, Jasper's there already; I had to leave him, so that he can stop it if it gets any worse. And I left to tell _you_, there's no time Edward. And anyway he-" She pointed at wildly Jacob, "will get Bella - you need to get Lucie before-"

"You know it's rude to point." Jacob cut across her angrily.

"_Shut up_!" Alice yelled at him, losing her normal calm, the fire in her gaze stopping Jacob from interrupting further. I heard his thoughts as if from far away. _Crazy. She's actually crazy_. _I should have realised there was something wrong, she _is _freakishly small_… My own mind was racing, but my brain was sluggish, unable to think straight as her wide eyes obscured my thoughts _yet again_.

"Edward," Alice advanced to me, gripping my arm, "Please. You can't just say 'no' not now, not when-"

"I didn't mean that." My voice was quiet. My brain still too slow. "I mean-" God, why couldn't I _think_?! "I mean _who _- who did _Aro _send?"

"He's sent-"

But I didn't ever get to hear who Aro had sent. Because right that second I had three different thoughts that weren't _mine _crashing into my head. Alice's, Jacob's and my own were all on the same train of thought - having heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps in the distance.

But there was another set of thoughts. Darker, sharper and _hungrier _than ours.

And that was the precise moment in which Victoria sauntered into the clearing.

***

**(A/N: **_Alright, I'm going to admit something: I don't care if this ruins the drama for you. I couldn't resist this little POV switch. Technically, it's important: it shows how different Lucie and Edward's situations are at the moment. Consider it as a 'meanwhile…' type thing. *that didn't make sense, did it?* Anyway, I'll shut up - I'm sure I'll be the only one who finds this funny, but meh, ah well, like I said - I'm easily amused _;p**)**

**Lucie's POV: **

"Luce. I hereby name this cake: _The mud cake_. What d'you think of the title?"

"I think you've lost it. Officially lost it. You're absolutely certifiable."

"Probably so, but that's not really the topic of discussion, is it? I'm sure Carlisle would happily chat to you about such matters, but I - on the other hand - have another question, also related to this here aptly named _mud cake_." He sat up brusquely, pointing with one large hand at the cake and indicating the caramel icing once more. "You never told me, what _is _that?"

"That would be icing Emmett."

***

**Edward's POV:**

Wisps of scarlet flicked impatiently around her ashen face as she slunk, confidently and gracefully towards us. She still had that same lope of a feline as she prowled across the rough terrain easily, sinuous as a serpent as she finally came to a halt, leaving us roughly two meters apart. A slow grin worked its way up to her ruby red lips as she met my eyes.

Her name left my mouth in a hiss.

"_Victoria_."

Alice gave out a tiny, almost inaudible, moan. Her mind was screaming in protest at me. _Oh god Edward, no! No do _not _get distracted. It's what she wants, for all we know the Volturi and her could be working together! Look, I can deal with this - please - you have to go back. Don't get aggravated_- but I blocked her out. This situation was different. This was _Victoria_, the vampire who'd tried to kill Bella, tried to kill Lucie, and who was about to get killed by me.

Victoria seemed delighted at my quick recognition.

"_So _glad you remember," She drawled in that girlish voice - a voice, incidentally, that seemed so ill-fitting to her harsh and sleek exterior. A tiny girl inside the body of a killer. "I've been simply _dying _to see you again Edward - you too Alice - isn't it just _perfect _we could meet up again?"

"Yes," I growled through clenched teeth, "Just peachy."

***

**Lucie's POV:**

I couldn't exactly say _how _I'd come to be sitting across from Carlisle, but I could probably explain _why_. Ever since my (albeit slightly crazy) talk with Emmett my head had been buzzing. For some reason, I craved - quite irrationally - some _conversation _with someone. In short, I wanted a distraction; I'd had enough thinking for a lifetime. The only problem was, Emmett claimed that all his _studying _(if that was what staring at a cake for over half an hour was called) had made him hungry, and he stated - _very _bluntly - that: "I'm not sure people would be too chuffed if I ate you." which, naturally, made me feel just _brilliant_.

Unease was the dominant emotion at the moment really. I had the nagging suspicion that people were tiptoeing around me, scared I was going to make a break for it or something. I didn't exactly jump for joy at the idea of confiding in Rosalie; in fact I'd been doing my best to avoid her ever since she'd talked in Edward's room. So with her out of the question, Emmett off hunting, Alice and Jasper God knows where in Italy, I only really had two options left.

Carlisle or Esme.

In most circumstances, I would have picked the latter in a heartbeat, but the simple fact of the matter was that now… I couldn't. There was something, like a little bug in the back of my head, which would fill me with suspicion whenever I thought of her. Something - and I didn't have a _clue _as to what - wasn't right.

And so I'd ended up here. Sitting uncomfortably in a chair from Carlisle, fidgeting every few seconds and shivering despite the warmth of the room. I hadn't even sought out Carlisle, _he _had come to me. Questions burning in behind his golden eyes.

_Questions_, I mentally chanted to myself, _that you _are _going to answer this time. _

Carlisle smiled warmly at me, gently placing a tray on a coffee-table between us, laden with biscuits and the cake Esme had made earlier. Unfortunately, my previous appetite seemed to have abated. I was full up; large, unruly butterflies were squirming in my stomach. _Ha! Butterflies my foot… these are snakes, either that or dementedly large bugs, whoever had the nerve to class the writhing sensation as butterflies was definitely- _

"Tea?" Carlisle asked, I gladly took the warm mug from him, inwardly groaning that the mad turn my thoughts had taken. (And no - my attempt at drinking coffee hadn't lasted that long, I'd resorted back to good old tea.) He studied me for a moment, while I sipped at it, then, after a pause: "Erm… would like, if my English is quite correct, a _biscuit_?" He said the last word a little uncertainly.

I took one from the tray eating it purely to appease him, I wasn't hungry, as previously mentioned because of the demented-stomach-bugs. Carlisle smiled warmly again, and I smiled back, but it turned into more of a grimace the instant he turned away.

_Here we go..._

***

"Is there, perhaps, something you can remember about your mother… Something that didn't seem normal?" His voice held that calm, collected tone of an interrogator. And my heart had the same, frenzied pace of a criminal. Distractedly I cradled the tea in my hands, letting it warm them rather than having to drink it.

_Just answer already!_

"I-I'm not sure." I said quietly, inwardly cursing my stupid stuttering. "I'm sorry," I sighed, "I'll tell you whatever I can. I'm not going to turn into a nervous wreck if you talk about her." Carlisle looked though he wasn't sure about that, which, I'll admit, was probably the only normal assumption to make. What with the emotional state I'd adopted recently. That and the way I'd just _stuttered_. I mentally kicked myself.

Still, his involuntary patronising expression of sympathy made me set my jaw defensively. I didn't need _pity_, and I didn't want it either. Still, it didn't tale him long to start firing of questions. Sympathy, Carlisle was full of. Tact? Not so much.

"How, exactly, did you say your mother died?"

_And there's the killer question._

"I didn't say." I mumbled. Carlisle merely waited for my answer. I exhaled deeply, gearing myself up to talk about it, noting how pathetic I was. "She hanged herself." I said quietly, staring into Carlisle's face to prevent the images of her hanging _lifeless_…

Carlisle seemed shocked by this.

"And you… you saw this? The police, hospital - they didn't tell you afterwards? You actually _saw _it?" I didn't know what to make of his fervent tone.

"Yeah." My voice had that dead, emotionless ring to it. "I saw it."

"I'm…" Carlisle's and looked as though it was ready to reach out to me, but at the last moment he ran it through his hair awkwardly, "I'm very sorry for your loss." I just nodded, now fully regretting the decision to talk to him.

"Well," Carlisle said, evidently searching for a lighter memory, "Do you have any memories where your mother seemed upset?" I wanted to roll my eyes, _so much for a lighter memory… _"Sorry," Carlisle apologised, correcting himself, "I mean: do you have many Childhood memories of her? Ones where you could tell how she was feeling?"

I frowned slightly at the difficult question.

"She was… happy." I said cautiously, racking my head for the memories I'd pushed away so many times. "At least, I used to always think she was when I was little…D-dad loved her, _loads_. He would sit by me on the bed, and he'd be hugging her, and kissing my forehead at the same time - and he'd say how lucky he was, to love two beautiful angels, and for them to love him in return. And I used to always ask mum what he meant by that, because there were no angels in our house, I kept repeating: 'Where are they? Where are the angels?' and I used to look for them, imagining their beauty and wings…" I closed my eyes, smiling slightly, "Of course, he meant that he had _us_. He had mum and me."

I reopened my eyes, slightly shocked to see Carlisle sitting across from me, for a few moments, I'd felt like I was seven again, young and blissfully ignorant.

"Do you have more memories, more like that?" Carlisle prompted after a moment of silence. For some reason, a bubble of panic rose in my chest, my clothes suddenly felt too tight, and some irrational anxiety soared.

"Well," I said, my voice quavering "She made me muffins once, when I saw seven, and I remember her playing with me when I was seven…and…then, after my eighth birthday I can't _remember_…" To my horror, hot tears were forming in my eyes and they were _burning_. I fought stubbornly to hold them back, but I couldn't control my hitch in breath. I waited silently to regain composure, and thankfully, Carlisle didn't interrupt. "Sometimes I don't understand any of it… I don't remember parts of my childhood, young adolescence even, and I _don't know why_…"

"Sometimes," Carlisle said softly, his arm raised as if he'd considered wrapping it around my trembling frame, "when the mind has experienced something particularly upsetting, or traumatic, it blocks it out…like a defence mechanism I suppose." His words were kind, _he _was kind, but the question still bubbled to my lips nonetheless.

"Is that why then?" I asked quietly, fighting back not only tears now. Dark and disturbing images were flitting through my thoughts, fighting against the weak barriers I'd placed against them; determined to break through. "Is it because my past was…" I couldn't think of how to phrase it, "_bad_?"

"Not bad, but… shadowed perhaps." Carlisle mused beside me. "But the important thing is to _forget_. Do not let your past control your life, let your present rule it. My past was perhaps the darkest of our entire coven. I was alone in my suffering, in my desolation," He seemed to be talking more to himself now, "but I carried on, ruthless as I was. I fought back against those dark thoughts, sought light against the perpetual night. A hard thing to do, I might add, when you are consumed by an everlasting hunger. A thirst for blood, one that has driven many mad with desire. But I fought it. I found that solitude increased depression and my dark state of mind, so I sought company. I discovered that humans didn't have to be slain by my hand. I chose to save lives instead of end them. I found Edward, then my beautiful wife…"

He smiled, slightly grimly at me, "You must remember that even those with the darkest pasts, can have the brightest future."

"But what if…" I said my voice higher than usual, uncertainty breaking through me before I could completely quell it. "What if you didn't even _know _your past? What if all you were left with was shattered slices? Pieces to a long forgotten and broken puzzle…" I looked up at Carlisle, now more than ever, desperate for an answer.

"Possibly," He mused gently, standing up from the beige armchair, "It is better this way. Perhaps seeing only part of your memories is better than having them all. You can cherish the good, and forget the bad."

I bit back the retort that sprang to my lips. That I wanted, more than _anything_, to forget _it all_. That it was _worse _having memories of happiness, far worse than memories of despair. Happy memories were the sort that made you feel bitter and alone, I couldn't forget them. They burned in my mind, refusing to let me forget how my life had once been. I could deal with sad memories, dark ones even. I could lock them up somewhere in my mind; keep them hidden underneath trivial nonsense. But the happy ones could never be buried, burning brightly in cruel mockery of what once had been.

Carlisle had become oddly still next to me, his movement from getting out of the chair stopped. I didn't look at him, biting my tongue, refusing to tell him what I thought. That I hated being trapped between two places; hated having disjointed memories and a fragmented past; _hated _being left alone in the dark.

But I plastered on a small smile, the kind that slips off your lips the instant the other turns away, and looked into Carlisle's eyes, hoping that my own didn't give away the truth.

"Yeah, I guess it is."

***

**Edward's POV:**

I wanted to kill her. _Right now_.

"Oh," Victoria looked to my left, "And you've invested in a puppy too. How lovely."

Jacob next to me began to shake, his entire body trembling, so violently it looked like he was about to just…_explode_.

He did.

In a shower of smattering bright light, Jacob phased, a wolf erupting out of him, leaving what was left of his clothes as tattered shreds at fabric near the floor. He bared his teeth, growling so fiercely at Victoria, I was surprised she didn't step back. He couldn't speak now, but his thoughts rang clearer and louder than ever.

_Oh, I assure you girl-leech… I'm no puppy._

Despite the seriousness - not to mention _danger _- of the current predicament, it was very hard not to stifle a laugh at that.

Victoria's gaze lingered on Jacob with a certain amount of interest, and a considerably larger percentage of undisguised contempt. I searched her thoughts to see what she was planning, but it was becoming increasingly hard to do so when Alice was practically yelling things at me. I made out a snide: '_I never much liked dogs_' from Victoria before Alice spoke.

"Leave Victoria, this is our territory. You're trespassing."

"_Oooh_," She cooed, quite clearly delighted at Alice's tone, "You've become so much _feistier _since I last saw you, little Alice. So tiny and sweet… shame that you aren't very _useful_, not much power in those little limbs of yours I imagine. Bored of being the Cullens' star _freak _yet?" Alice didn't retort, but her stance became stiffer.

"We outnumber you. Leave."

"Leave? Oh, I think not."

Jacob snarled, pawing the earth with his paws - each adorned with razor sharp talon-like claws. His thoughts were nearly as incoherent as his growling:

_I'm going to kill her. She's dead, completely dead, disgusting, putrid, _ginger _bloodsucker-_

"And _what_," She sneered, actually moving _closer _to Jacob, in response to his feral snarl, "Is _that _supposed to mean? You ugly great brute-" I was quite sure Jacob was about to launch at her, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice place a tiny white hand on his russet fur.

The notion struck me as beyond odd. Close, Alice and Jacob were - quite undeniably - not. Agreed, Alice was perhaps, on slightly better terms than I when it came to Jacob - though admittedly this wasn't much of a feat. All the same, she didn't seriously think that she was permitted to _pet _him now, did she?

Abruptly though, understanding hit me in the form of Alice's thoughts. They were flickering in the way they only did when she was having a vision. And the truth struck me; she was touching Jacob for _support_. I wanted, desperately, to see what Alice was foreseeing, but Victoria's presence was reminded once more with a girlish cough. I couldn't alert her to what was happening. _She can't notice what's happening with Alice, or she'll try to stop it…_

I glared at her, unafraid to let her see how much I despised her, her crimson eyes danced.

"Care to translate, Edward dear?" She cooed, batting her eyelashes.

It really did take all of my willpower, not to just kill her there and then. But something about the way Alice was standing, and the fact that Jacob - who wasn't the calmest of people by a long shot - had restrained from attacking her, made me stop.

"Translation: Attack, and you die," I supplied, furiously flitting through her head and trying to get past the initial trivial thoughts running through her mind that were concentrated on the conversation.

"Well," She grinned wider still, "We can't have _that_, can we? Besides, who said anything about attacking? What led you to that assumption?"

"Perhaps the fact that each time we've met - enjoyable though the experiences _undoubtedly _were" - Victoria smirked -"you've always had a motive to kill someone I care about."

"_Care _about? Oh goodness, I don't think I've ever heard you so _soft _Edward…" She let out a tinkling, chilling, little giggle. My teeth were clenched shut very tight; it was a miracle I could speak at all.

"Quit with the subject changes. _Leave_. Now."

"But why would I do that? I do simply _adore _Forks you know… perhaps it's the scenery?"

"You. Are. Out_numbered_."

Victoria beamed; her lips curling back to reveal the pearly white teeth, stained pinkish from her last victim. I felt a sensation like ice water trickling down my spine.

"Oh, but am I?"

Three things happened simultaneously then.

Alice gasped - finally, it seemed, breaking free from her vision - and spun to me, clutching my arm with enough force to splinter wood. Jacob roared, springing towards Victoria in a mad whirl of fury. And six, hungry, newborn vampires emerged from behind the trees - each of their eyes a glowing red.

"Yes," Victoria purred, as she advanced within a foot from me, now in synchronisation with several others.

_Oh Christ…_

"I think it _must _be the scenery."

***

**Lucie's POV:**

It had been over and hour since Carlisle had questioned me, since I'd remembered _her_, but my headache hadn't abated, not in the slightest.

I wasn't entirely sure what I was meant to _do _now, part of me was hell-bent on escaping, wanting to just… do _something _productive. Wondering around aimlessly in the halls of the expansive house did nothing to curb my impatience. I'd resorted to the bathroom, and had been grasping the sink ever since, as if staring into my own tarnished reflection would help.

Staring into my muddy hazel eyes, pasty face, and the tightly fitted bodice top did nothing for me. I wrenched my hands free from the marble sink, switching instead to pacing, furiously up and down the limited space. Heck, I wanted _answers_! I wanted to know where my father was; where Edward was; why my mum seemed to crop up in just about every conversation I had nowadays; and why I felt so… lost.

And that's when I heard them.

"Who do you think I'm talking about? _Lucie _of course!"

The room's tiled walls were thick - that much I was sure of. I knew the Cullens wouldn't have picked cheap walls for their house, but all same, I could still hear. And that only meant one thing: who ever was speaking, was doing so _very _loudly.

I stopped my pacing of the room. Standing dead still. I strained my ears, but I couldn't hear anymore. _Carlisle_,I thought, _that's who was shouting… but why? _Curiosity drove me, quietly, I stepped out of the bathroom, tiptoeing out onto the landing and freezing when I realised I could hear them again.

"There has to be another reason," I heard him insisting, "She can't be desired so badly _just _because of her gift, surely! Aro's views of power may be warped Esme, but he _is _intelligent, that much we cannot deny. I know him. He wouldn't be risking all he's worked for purely because he covets the power of the past."

"Leave it Carlisle," Esme said, her voice uncharacteristically unsteady. "He _does _want her…" I heard Carlisle attempt to interrupt, but Esme continued, her voice unusually strained, "He won't stop. He wants her for her gift but-" She struggled for words, "…but It's not _just _that." She sounded faint; a mixture of uttermost concern and suspicion was crawling over me.

"What?" I heard the sound of Carlisle's footsteps abruptly stop. He sounded more confused than ever "Esme? Do you know something? What else is there?"

"Yes." I said, finally plucking up the courage to enter the room. They both snapped their heads round to look at me, Carlisle looking, if possible, more confused than before at not hearing me. "_What _else?"

"Lucie…" Esme whispered, her bottom lip trembling, "I'm so sorry… I promise if I'd figured it out sooner, if I'd _known_…" She looked, though it was impossible, close to tears, her voice cracking in emotion.

Carlisle looked, for the first time since I'd met him, utterly lost.

***

**Edward's POV: **

I don't know what I should have suspected to what was going to happen next. One would assume I should have foreseen what was going to happen easily; what with being able to read everyone's mind. I didn't though. And even if I'd thought up the most elaborate of guesses, none could compare to what _actually _happened…

Jacob's attempt to attack Victoria was blocked by a shock of black hair, flying past as a newborn sprang forward - speed and power in her limbs, fuelled by the energy that blood gave to newborns. He was catapulted backwards, growling louder than ever and lashing out at whoever had attacked him. The newborn was thrown off him, hitting a tree opposite before springing back to Jacob.

Jacob had the advantage, but he hesitated when the faint light fell over her face. Although it was twisted in an expression wild and feral, there was no way to deny that the black-haired girl - no older than Jacob himself - was beautiful. Pain swam in his thoughts.

_Hell, how can I kill _her_? She doesn't even look like she knows were she is...She couldn't have wanted this sucky, morbid, bloodsucking life… _And yet his split hesitation caused her to ram into his side, knocking the great wolf to the ground - and abruptly the shock that I was just _standing there_, paralysed and _observing _their fight hit me.

But before I could act, and fight off someone myself, Alice had dug her nails into my wrist. And it dawned on me that she was talking to me (urgently at that) her voice higher still.

"Oh Edward, _listen will you_?! You have to move-" her sentence was cut off when she darted out of the way, pulling me along with her. A split second later, the black-haired girl Jacob had been fighting collided against a trunk that had previously been directly behind us. "Listen - get to Carlisle, tell him that Aro's plan is to-" She was cut off again, looking so mad when a particularly feral newborn swiped at her dress I thought she'd burst. "Oh you just _need to go _- we can deal with this-" I turned to her, my own voice filled with incredulity. (The vampire that had oh-so-unwieldy attempted to ruin Alice's designer dress was currently being slammed into the same tree that the black-haired girl had crumpled against. Courtesy of Jacob, who, as much as I hated to admit, was damn good at fighting the things.)

"Alice, there are _six _of them-"

"Seven if you count my glorious self, actually." laughed Victoria, making me spin round, all thoughts of Alice's pleas flying for my head as I walked forward to attack. _How the hell had I forgotten about _her_?_

But Alice was there before me, shooting out faster than I'd seen her move before, and jumping so high it looked like she was in flight to attack. Her movements were light and sylphlike, vanishing each time Victoria tried to hit her.

But before I could watch any more, the disjointed thoughts of the newborns swam into my head.

_Perfect, I'll hit him now, if can get Cassie on my right we could take him down, mistress said how we'd be rewarded if we held him still, not to kill though, mistress wanted the pleasure…_

I turned sharply to my right, just in time to jump and avoid the launching newborn, a male this time, small and weedy looking - pale ginger hair clashing horribly against his crimson eyes. I kicked out, hitting the one I assumed to be Cassie (she was taller than Victoria, pink foam frothing at the corners of her lips) and all the while trying to pick out Alice and Victoria's thoughts from amongst the fray. Victoria's thoughts were concentrated on the deathly spiral she seemed to be locked in with Alice, and she was singing.

"Small and frail, too delicate and sweet, so long you've fought, what a feat! Oh, tiny pixie _Allie-kins_, you can't dance forever… You'd be running so much further, if you were somewhat clever…"

***

**(A/N: **_I do hope this isn't too confusing with the choppiness? Ach. If so, I'm sorry. And heck - these in-between babbles probably don't help either, do they? ARFF! _*shuts up***)**

**Lucie's POV:**

There are some moments in life, when several things happen at once.

When I was little, only just six, it was the day I'd hit my head against the asphalt at the park that was a prime example of this.

_I'd been swinging, enjoying the plummeting feeling in my stomach each time I flew higher in the air. At the top of the swing's arc, I'd seen further than I ever had before, and noticed a man, sitting hunched on the green park bench. He'd been clutching something in his hands, and looked up, his glacial blue eyes meeting my own._

_But before I could see any more of him, I'd felt myself dragged back by the momentum of the swing again. There had been a foreign excitement inside of me, the curiosity to see more of the mysterious man and whatever he'd been holding burning. I'd swung higher still, but before I could look at him the wind had whipped my hair across my eyes, and the image of the thick green trees had vanished suddenly, replaced by a fine tangled cobweb of my hair. _

And then there had been that moment. Three _crucial _seconds.

In which I had known something wasn't right.

That was when things started happening all at once. _The wind has stopped being pleasant. Instead of refreshing, it was harsh and cold against my skin; the birds' song had ceased, replaced by a panic yell; my fingers had become sweaty, my grip loosening on the chains of the swing; I'd fallen - dizzyingly to the ground, all the while my mother's screaming ringing in my ears_.

Now was a time like that.

I saw and felt things happen almost simultaneously. My position in the doorway had become stiff; Esme's light golden eyes sought Carlisle's. I felt two strong hands grip me around the arms, saw Esme shake her head, watched as Carlisle went to his wife's side. Uncertainty plain on his features.

Esme had closed her eyes, as I fought desperately to keep mine open. Her words fell out of her lips.

"She's going to see her…"

Her eyes opened again, looking at me desperately. Emmett (_whoa - where the hell did _he _come from?!_) was lifting me into his arms and Carlisle was suspending Esme, both - looked at a loss of what to do next.

_I _knew what was happening. It had happened after I'd been on that swing too. It had all started when the man on the bench at the end of the park had stared at me. I'd looked into his eyes, not realising I was going to see his entire life stretched out in front of me.

That morning when my mum and I had left the house, I'd never guessed that trip to the park was something

That would scar me for the rest of my childhood. Never imagined that I would lie to my parents for weeks afterwards because of it. Claiming my nightmares were from the accident. Saying that the fall from the swing had been scary.

_All lies._

My nightmares after that day had not been from my fall. Not been from the act of hitting my head, not from the _pain_. My nightmares were of the man, clutching something on the bench. His piercingly sharp blue eyes. His hunched posture. My nightmares were of _him_.

Because I was six years old when I met a murderer.

_I'd seen his past in those few moments, woken up on the asphalt, my lip bleeding, _screaming_. Too young, I'd been _far _too young to fully understand what I'd seen back then. Too young to witness the terrible things he'd done. I'd sat up, ignoring my mother's protests, my eyes searching wildly for the man, and the knife he'd been holding._

_But he had gone._

Now Esme's eyes were panic stricken, wider than I'd seen before, raw alarm shining in them. She managed to say one more thing before my vision was impaired, stained by a smattering of scarlet.

"…I didn't know it was _her_."

***

**(A/N: **_yup, we're switching back again. Thoroughly confused yet? Sorry… I can't help it, I was going to leave this bit till next chapter, but ah well. I'll give it out early. I _love _writing Victoria_! _Must be my sadist side, it's kicking in again_. :p**)**

**Edward's POV: **

"Enough."

Victoria's voice rang clear and loud, no longer sickly sweet but sharp, cutting through the snarls like a blade, silencing everyone almost against there will.

Everyone seemed to stop, though Jacob only so because he had just ripped a limb off the one called Cassie, and seemed about ready to kill someone else. Alice was motionless, staring at Victoria in a slightly disconcerting way, and I knew she was skimming the future for what would happen next.

"I'm bored of fighting you Alice." Victoria said, her voice still sharp, "you're getting tiresomely predictable with all your little twirls," She sneered, "and it's _awfully _tedious." She ran white finger through her hair, "besides, I want to fight… _Edward_." She turned to me, running her tongue against her ruby lips.

Suddenly everyone was moving again. Alice and Jacob both ran to Victoria, but at the last moment Victoria sidestepped them both, as carelessly as If she'd just dodged a puddle of water in her path. The notion had all of us worried. Jacob's mind was working overdrive. _How she manage to dodge us so well?!… _Whilst Alice was practically shouting: _DANGER _to me, _Edward, please, just leave it - she wants to stop you…_

But I droned her out. I didn't care. I _wanted _this. Wanted to fight her.

Victoria was now circling me without any haste, almost idly, theatrically unconcerned. Either side of us a small battle seemed to have formed: Alice and Jacob fighting against the remaining four newborns, I didn't take my eyes off Victoria to spare them a glance though; their snarls and hisses were droned out by Victoria's voice - now returning to its childlike coo again.

"So _Edward_," She drew out my name in a drawl, "who do you like best?" She kept her face impassive as I filtered through her thoughts, determined to stop her plans.

"I don't know what you mean." I replied acidly.

She smiled, illuminated when she walked into a spot where the dim light hit the earth, glowing white in the moon-dazzled darkness.

"Why, which is your favourite human?" She purred softly, still not quickening the pace of our strides, slowly keeping the circular pattern. And though she looked graceful and unconcerned, I could see her poised muscles, and knew how her mind was taut, as my own was - both of us waiting for the other to make the first move.

"Keep them out of this," I said, just as softly as she, though there was an underlying threat in my tone. One that Victoria picked up on, as her smile widened.

"_Oooh_ but why would I do that? It's so much more _fun_. I want to know Edward, why don't you…_confide _in me. I could say which I think is the better choice…" She let the sentence hang on the air, showing her teeth in her now not so innocent smile. Her thoughts as taunting as her mocking grin.

_Or would you prefer me to kill the spare?_

"I said: _leave. Them. Out_." I gritted, wanting to spring at her but retraining. _Not yet, wait until she lets her guard down… _Victoria was obvious to my plans, gleefully shaking her hair so it splayed scarlet around her shoulders.

"I seemed to have, what is the saying? _Touched a nerve_…" She quickened the pace slightly, matching my swifter movements. "Does this mean you can't _decide_, Edward? Even when you proclaimed your love for the first so valiantly when we last met?" I didn't reply, and she seemed to take that for answer, "Well, this _does _make everything so much more… _interesting_." She let out the chilling tinkle of a laugh again, "And there I thought the blonde one was just a pretty little pet-"

The final cords of my resistance snapped, I launched myself at her, cutting across the circle we'd traced with our feet in the earth, wanting more than ever to _hurt _her. How _dare _she speak of her like that?! How twisted was her mind-

And then we were dancing, in fast, furious spirals. Hitting and dodging deathly blows. The forest merged into a blur around me, as I focused on Victoria, rage pounding in my ears so strong and violent, that Alice's shrieks and yells became as little and insignificant as whispers in the wind.

"No! Edward _stop_! You have to go back - Carlisle and Esme need to prepare. They won't listen to me - he could be there within hours! Oh for god's sake _look at me_!" But I ignored her, focusing purely on Victoria, channelling all my anger so it could be unleashed on her. Her movements had changed since we'd last met. She'd lost that grace, the subtle, feline strikes. Now her blows were less accurate, less planned. Her style was _better_. It was wilder, more haphazard now. _Spontaneous_.

And much more effective.

*******

**Lucie's POV:**

It was like something dark and heavy was pressing against my eyelids, and they were too weak to open. I felt oppressed - but it was different from before. Before it had been tiredness that had kept my eyes shut - now it was different. It felt like I was falling slowly, my heart hammering, every pore of my body rebelling against it, trying to stay conscious. The buzz of conversation had ceased completely, now replaced by that terrible silence that seems to press against your eardrums.

Something broke, the seal that had been keeping everything at bay cracked, and simultaneously a thousand colours, sounds and images flew into my mind.

_A young girl of about six was running in a field, twirling and twisting through the long grass, so fluidly it looked like dancing. She stopped abruptly, her forehead furrowing in concentration before leaping into the air and clasping something in her tiny hands. A second later, a butterfly rose up out of them, its wings shimmering in the sunlight…_

Everything changed; the colours became brighter, so intense they hurt my eyes. And now I could _feel _too, feelings, thoughts and emotions hit me powerfully, the strength of them staggering. _Melancholy was washing through me, as I stared through the eyes of the child when she was a bit older, carefully cradling the broken wing of blackbird. Elation as the same girl leapt into her mother's arms. Worry as she heard the voice of her mother sobbing in the next room. And determination to make her parents happy again._

The scene changed, and I watched the images pass as if through a veil, part of me wanting to resurface, the other part determined to see more. Curiosity was the dominant desire.

_I saw the girl again. Her hair loose and flowing around her in the breeze. She looked older now, past the awkward years in which she'd been too short and slight. Now she was slender, more elegant, despite her slightly unruly caramel curls. _

_She was climbing a tree, utterly content. Adrenaline singing through her veins. Her hands steady as she gripped the rough bark, climbing higher still, determined to see the view from the top. My breathing caught as she lost her footing, the bark breaking off, her arms flailing wildly - hitting branches on the way down - hearing a sickening crunch as her leg hit the earth. _

_Images of a girl crying, waking up in a hospital, feeling stunned as she gazed into the most beautiful man she'd ever laid eyes upon. Losing herself in his golden eyes, his honey coloured hair. He averted her gaze, casting his eyes down to his records and notes._

"_Tell me, fine lady, what is your name?"_

"_Esme," She whispered breathlessly._

"_Esme Anne Platt? Just turned 16 this fall?" She nodded. He looked up from his clipboard, and stared at her with surprising intensity._

"_Well then Esme," He smiled warmly, "You took quite a fall there…" _

"_I wasn't aware the tree was quite that old, Doctor," Her words were still slightly out of breath. _Who was he? _Her mind was racing, fantasies she'd never experienced before blooming. He frowned fractionally before ticking something swiftly. _

"_Well," Said the man, smiling gently after looking up from his clipboard again and reaching over to brush some hair out of her heart-shaped face. His hands were surprisingly cool. "Just try to be more careful in future. I don't want you getting hurt." She beamed at him, noting the lack of plural in his words. _

_There were more images then, and the girl could no longer be described as a girl. A women now, in a beige summer dress. Staring forlornly at the front of the hospital, wishing the man who'd once mended her leg to return there. _

The scenes were moving faster now. Like someone had pressed _fast-forward _on a remote, images flitted past - some so quickly they merely became a blur of vibrant light, and the humming of voices. They began to get slower, but still passed across my vision too fast for me to make sense of them.

_Older still, and wanting to have a better education, desire to be a teacher - hating the looks of disappointment in her parents eyes. Deciding instead to stay with them, to marry someone. Feeling trepidation as she passed a shadowy figure on a dark alley…_

This memory seemed more compelling than the rest, the images sharper.

_The girl looked little under 22, her caramel hair escaping in tendrils out of her unkempt bun. Her clothes looked neat and prim, but unpractical for the street, her dress catching every so often under her feet. The fabric too thin to keep her warm. _

_My heartbeat increased in tempo as her anxiety spiked. Her footsteps were faster as she hurried through the cobbled street, pointedly ignoring the man walking opposite her, unnervingly managing to keep the same pace. The corner drew closer, and a sense of relief filled me. _

If she could just reach that corner…

_But then the man changed course. Striding directly towards her, He looked up, and now his face was no longer shrouded in shadow, illuminated by a light on the sidewalk. His face looked like it had once been tanned, but it was paler, like he hadn't been receiving enough sunlight. He had a long, gaunt face, sallow cheeks and receding hair. His eyes were a flat grey, unnervingly emotionless, tinged red around the edges, bloodshot. The girl had stopped walking, paralyzed momentarily. She caught herself, realising her mistake and walking faster still, her heels clapping loudly in the silence. But it was too late. _

_The man was next to her now, his strides faster than hers, he grabbed her hand and a horrible sense of dread seemed to emanate from the girl, she had no choice but to stop, fervently trying to quell the shakes. _

"_You're a very pretty girl," He said softly, his voice raspy. The girl stiffened, unable to pull free from his grasp. He lifted up her hand gently, pressing his lips to the back of her palm. "And so cold, why alone on a night like this?" _

A myriad of colours shimmered then, and I was falling faster _- The girl adorned in a flowing white dress, standing curtly next to same man she'd met in the street, his hand in hers, a smile she hadn't seen before now twisting his lips. Dread slowly filling her, fighting back the urge to pull her hand out of his_

"_Do you, Charles Evenson take thee, Esme Anne Plat to be your lawfully wedded wife?"_

"_I do." But the girl had averted her eyes from her fiancé, noting a woman, in the crowd she didn't recognise. Standing apart from the rest. Much younger than the middle-aged housewives, who stared on adoringly. This woman - _girl _even - looked troubled; her eyes kept darting around the crowd, and her stance was unnatural; poised as if to run. Her clothes were dirtier than anyone else's, and oddly unsuitable for a wedding. A dark crimson dress, cut low and ripped at the side. She turned to stare at Esme then, ash hair lifting in the breeze, her emerald eyes startlingly bright…_

I felt my heart thump loudly. Distantly I knew I was shaking violently. I could hear anxious voices as if from far away.

"Emmett, pass me that cloth, it's okay Esme. You know the circumstances; we all knew this would happen soon enough. She's just experiencing your past; it will probably happen to all of us at some point in the near future. Shhh, shh, you're not in any danger. Jasper informed me that he had slight flashes of his past, nothing more."

"No - no, it's not that! I didn't know. I didn't make the _connection_… ever since I saw her that first time you brought her here, cut up and bruised, part of me stirred. I _recognised _her. The similarity between them - it's so obvious now. But I had no _idea_…"

"What? What similarity? Esme - what's wrong?"

"She'll see _her _Carlisle. She'll think I tried to stop her from realising...I-I didn't realise till earlier. When she said the name in her sleep… when I worked it all out… that first time at my wedding Carlisle, that was when I saw her first. It explains why the Volturi want her. It explains _everything_. If only I'd noticed sooner… I've seen her so many times…"

"Seen who Esme?"

But I was sucked back under again, the images relentlessly pouring into my head, my heart racing, head burning.

_I saw the girl with the man again, older now, fear pulsing every time she turned to him, knowing what he liked to do to her when they were alone. Behind closed doors, where watchful eyes could not see. Losing her voice as he drew closer still, as he raised his arm to strike…_

_Keeping silent about it all. Wanting to succeed in being a wife, asking her mother for help, getting told only to stay faithful to him - to remain strong inside. Feeling immense joy and relief by the arrival of the war, selfishly glad that Charles had been drafted to join. Feeling freedom once more. More time flew passed, and now the girl was looking down at a newspaper, 12th__ March 1920, not reading the headline as Charles strode through the door. Not looking into his cold eyes as he hit her again and again…_

_The girl was looking in the mirror, tracing the bruises along her creamy skin, now tinged with blue and purple. Sudden resolve building in her, half falling out of the window in her haste before he'd return. Finally escaping from Charles. _

_Finding herself alone now, lost on an unknown road. Glimpsing a girl younger than she was shrouded in black in the distance, running down an alley, followed sharply by cloaked figures. Moving faster than she'd thought possible. One of them was shouting something:_

"_Come back Arielle, enough games…"_

_A feeling of reminiscence twisting at her insides. Moving onward, deciding to ignore the event…_

But I couldn't. I wanted to scream. Wanted to break free from the terrible memories, no longer compelled to see more. It was the same girl. The same figure, the same _name_. It couldn't be coincidental. It just _couldn't_. And those men too… the ones in the cloaks…

I could hear the voices again. What sounded like Rosalie's normally melodic voice was shrill with fear.

"She's shaking again! _Carlisle_…"

"Rosalie, please, try to hold her still - Esme, Esme? It's okay - Rosalie, please keep her calm. She could injure herself. Emmett, keep her arm steady-" But their voices, as much as I craved to hear them, were fading again, the images, thoughts, emotions and sounds that were not from my past, were winning once more...

_Esme was standing alone in a room. A single tear fell to the floor as she lifted up the bottom of her shirt, her trembling fingers caressing the swollen bump. She bore Charles' child…_

_Unable to become a teacher, rejected because of her pregnancy. Pain shooting through her as she gave birth, feeling utter happiness soar in her chest as she saw her son. Wondering if her life was starting to get back on track again. Giving the baby all she could to keep him strong. Tears of joy flowing down her cheeks as she cradled the tiny thing in her arms. Kissing the top of his head, where the finest hairs of caramel-brown were growing. _

_But the mood was changing now. The images and feelings had suddenly become dark. I could hear screams of horror. See her shaking and sobbing, wishing with all her heart he would survive. The lung infection spreading through the boy - Esme refusing to leave her son. Still desperately cradling the boy in her arms, despite the fact that no life resided inside him. _

_Desolation, despair, self loathing_. I couldn't take it anymore. _Esme was standing on top of a cliff, throwing herself off it, having nothing else to live for… _I yelled out, thrashing, not wanting to experience the memories, ignoring the scenes of her plunging into the depths of the dark water. _Gasping now, trying to breathe. Desperate for air, needing to resurface…_

With a tremendous effort, I broke free. My eyes snapping open, searching the room for Esme, meeting her gaze, and lurching forward. My attempt was stopped by Emmett's grip. Rosalie looked terrified. Carlisle was kneeling beside Esme, torn between comforting her, and tending to myself.

I managed to choke out a sentence, though my mouth was bone dry.

"You knew my mum… You - you saw her, _I _saw her, all those years ago… it doesn't - nothing - _none of it _makes any sense! How is that possible? She can't - sh-she's _gone _now… she couldn't possibly be alive _then_…not in 1920, she was only 38 when she..."

Before I could hear her response, before I could even see her expression, Carlisle had moved swiftly to my side, and had injected something into my arm.

"_No_!" I yelled, whipping around to glare at him, furious. His light golden eyes looked apologetic; he was talking to me…_so why can't I hear him? _I reached out, irrationally wanting to hit him. But my arms were still trapped in Emmett's iron strong with Emmett's support though_, _the entire room was just… _rotating _- in horror I turned my head back to Carlisle, who looked about ready to seize me. His lips were moving, I could only lip read two of his words though 'I'm sorry', I looked down with horror, as he pulled out the syringe from my arm, my eyes opening wide, my entire body numb, head spinning…

"You_ didn't…_"I whispered furiously, but I couldn't say anything else.

Because for what felt like the hundredth time, my world was reduced darkness.

And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

***

**…**

**Worth the wait?**

**For some reason, I'm really anxious about the reaction to this one. I'm not sure why… please do say what you thought of it in a review. Any speculations are really welcomed! To those who give the best reviews, I'll mention in the A/N next chapter. And I REALLY urge anon reviewers to get an account! I was nearly going crazy each time I got a desperate review saying: **"What's taking so long? UPDATE!" **And I couldn't even say sorry and send the anon reviews forgive-me-Sneaky-Peakys… So yeah… do review. Make me smile :D**

**And I'm afraid I'm going to split this **_**once again. **_**Else the chapter would be **_**so **_**long you'd all deem it tedious and give up on me. (You would. You'd all flop and think: "Ugh, why is it so darn long…") That means the long awaited romance… yup. It's postponed till next chapter, but there **_**is **_**some! (I've got some written already) And it **_**will **_**be in next chapter, I promise. **

**Now c'mon, that was a plot twist huh? None of you thought she'd see **_**Esme's **_**past. Less so that **_**Lucie's mother **_**would appear in it. HA! ;) *Satisfied grin* I've got to give some credit to **Blue Tulips **for her many guesses though, and **Jade Lyssy Swan**, for noticing that something was iffy with Esme. **

'I don't know, unleash your anger on cutting up carrots or something'** - If you're wondering where **_**that **_**came from, I did so the other day. The carrots never stood a chance. I wasn't making **_**carrot cake **_**sadly (I had waaaaay too much sugar this weekend. Darn Halloween.) But still, I went a little manic when cutting them up *crazy…* and the idea of Emmett talking about them popped into my head. I'll admit, their entire conversation was a bit random :S**

**To those who wished me Happy Birthday, thank you! I had a lovely day, and a slight headache, but otherwise it was great. Sadly though, I don't feel remotely wiser. 15 is much the same as 14. There I was… awaiting some grand epiphany and… **_**nothing**_**. What a disappointment, huh? **

**Right, I feel guilty for splitting this in two (but it **_**was **_**really long - and this means I can update relatively quick) so here, I'll give another sneak peek of what's still to happen:**

_Coming Soon Next Chapter:_

_Edward's POV:_

She was shaking, tangling herself up in the sheets, yelling:

"Get off me! Get _off_!"

But no one was touching her, I wanted to help: to lift her up into my arms, stop her tremors, do _anything_, but I was paralyzed still.

Her thoughts flew into my head in torrent of colours, mixing and raging out from her dream and into my head. I knew why she was afraid to sleep. But I had never before guessed that her dreams could get _worse_. Never had I even considered the fact that they could get more intense than what I'd witnessed before. I'd assumed they'd dissipate over time, that she would become immune to them.

I had been severely mistaken.

_***_

**Heh - lots of cliffhangers! I do like being evil; really, it's so much more amusing. ;) **

**Have a great week! ;) and please REVIEW :)**

**Lily - who is doing far too many David Attenborough impressions, it can't be healthy… (There were NELEPHANTS on the program 'Life' last week ***anyone watch that?* **NELEPHANTS! She was quite overjoyed.) **


	40. The Unforgettable Lullaby

**Heyy…**

***whispers* **_**Is anybody still there?**_

**Anyone left to read all this? **

**Because, well - there's rather a lot…**

**So I've returned. Yeah. Sliiiiightly long absence, I'll admit. Though I was slightly surprised at some reviewer's reaction to my lack of updates. I was shocked. Really, you people do tend to jump to conclusions, namely, this:**

'It's official. She's dead.'

**Ha. So, as you may have already worked out, no, I'm not **_**dead**_**. I'm alive and well (though sunburned, and looking like a complete freak amongst all of the pasty pale English) much to your disappointment. I'm not going to drone on with countless apologies, because I **_**know **_**you're all sick of them. I am sorry though, and I really, really appreciate people's patience with the matter. I'm back now. For good. So rest assured, you won't ever have to wait over a month for an update. **

**Now, for those of you who have any sense, you'll skip this paragraph. And the next. And probably the next after that too. It's just a run-down of what my life has been like (the short version… you'd probably **_**die **_**if you ever read the long one) these past few weeks :p I had a fantastic time on holiday, for anyone interested - In sunny New Zealand. It snowed a lot in the UK, and typically, I managed to miss ALL OF IT. Ah well. For Christmas, I received my very own Nelephant from my dad. (He's called Runty. 'Tis a small nelephant.) and in return, I bought my dad a book. Anyone read: **_Elephants on Acid_**? … Well, I'm guilty of grafting the title. It's now called: **_Nelephants on Acid. _**I recommend you do the same to your copy *promptly gets sued for encouraging the vandalising of precious books***

**I'm very behind in school work; but I'll manage. I'm officially sick of doing GCSEs a year **_**early**_**. (For those of you who don't live in England, GCSEs are G**hastly **C**ruddy** S**tupid **E**xam_s_, **which take up way too much of people's time, and are officially hated by **moi**. They're traditionally taken when one is 16. Except half of mine aren't. I'm taking my Science ones, Art ones, History, and French - annnnd probably Spanish too - earlier than most do. Why? Stupid teachers think I'm capable of it. The fools.)**

**I had a History exam the day I got home. After having around 4 hours sleep in 2 days. It was awful. Darn Stalin and his stupid-way-too-difficult-to-remember **_Five Year Plans _**and **_Collectivisation_. **(I spent most of the exam describing - and, no doubt, **_**wasting my time **_**- and explaining that Stalin was a despotic man; Tsar Nicholas II was an ignorant autocrat; that Lenin proved to be pragmatic; and that Trotsky was the essential key to the Civil War. But I'll stop there - you don't want to hear about that. Needless to say, I ran out of time in the exam. I babbled too much in it. **_**Big **_**surprise.) **

**So I'm **_**convinced **_**I've failed that - but then again, I seem to be continuously convinced that I failed all my exams. The good news (gasp) is that I DIDN'T fail all my Science exams like I expected too. Phew. I got A*s on Biology, Chemistry, and Physics. Finally there's proof that cramming like crazy the night before a test DOES work. **

**Right. I have a preposition for you all. Are you sick of waiting so long between updates?**

***Collective nod from readers* **

**Well, I was thinking you could… you know, check out my OTHER story in-between (or **_**betwixt…**_**ha. No. That's not very funny) reading this one? *Heh… not advertising **_**at all**_**, of course*It's called Betwixt and Between, and if you pop along to that drivelling profile of mine, you can scroll to the bottom, and then pretend to be surprised to see it there. Heck, you can even exclaim: "GORDON BENNETT!" At the sight of it :p In fact, I think you should. Seriously though, I really recommend you check it out. It'll be worth your while. Promise. No, it's not a **_**Twilight **_**fanfic; it's a **_**Harry Potter **_**one. But it's good. If you're reading this story and **_Betwixt and Between _**- then you officially get your own Nelephant. Come on. That's an offer you simply **_**can't **_**refuse. And I'll update it every week, maybe even more so. **

***Collective gasp from readers***

**Anyway, without further ado, I present the long awaited chapter.**

**Don't suffer too much ;) **

**What Happened Last Chapter: **

Before I could hear her response, before I could even see her expression, Carlisle had moved swiftly to my side, and had injected something into my arm.

"_No_!" I yelled, whipping around to glare at him, furious. His light golden eyes looked apologetic; he was talking to me…_so why can't I hear him? _I reached out, irrationally wanting to hit him. But my arms were still trapped in Emmett's iron strong with Emmett's support though_, _the entire room was just… _rotating _- in horror I turned my head back to Carlisle, who looked about ready to seize me. His lips were moving, I could only lip read two of his words though 'I'm sorry', I looked down with horror, as he pulled out the syringe from my arm, my eyes opening wide, my entire body numb, head spinning…

"You _didn't…_"I whispered furiously, but I couldn't say anything else.

Because for what felt like the hundredth time, my world was reduced darkness.

And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

***

**The Unforgettable Lullaby **

**Bella's POV: **

I never wanted this to happen. I still couldn't quite believe it. I felt like I was about to wake up in a second, sweat on my forehead, twisting, only to have arms wrap around me. Telling me that it's okay. That it was just a nightmare. Just a dream. _Not real..._

I never wanted this to happen. Never, _never _had I thought my actions would makes things worse. I'd thought in self sacrifice, I'd _save _others… instead of leading everyone - everyone I _cared _about - into a trap.

I never wanted this to happen. And I didn't want to deal with the consequences - terrible consequences at that. Consequences I was scared of, and ones which inevitably arose because of my choice.

_I never wanted this to happen…_

Aro stepped before me, a look of unsurpassed glee twisting his normally impassive features.

_But he did._

_***_

**Edward's POV: **

_Red. Black. Green-_

Fast, furious colours swirled around me, no more than blurs because of my speed. Victoria's red hair kept distracting me; it whipped around in every direction, making it hard to pin point exactly where she stood.

Guttural snarls had replaced her syrupy coos, her elegant twirls transformed to violent lurches. But she was still wearing the same expression: one of malice and glee, twisted and cruel. Each swipe I made at her was carefully missed, too easily parried.

But slowly - _horribly _slowly, each second pulling at me - I began to notice things. Small ones. Like the way she would stumble slightly if I managed to hit her left side or the laboured, unnecessary breaths; the pained set her lips had taken.

Small things. Tiny, really.

But things that let me knew she was weakening,

_For God's sake Edward, stop being such a prat - leave Victoria and - oh, just _listen to me!

Alice kept on trying to divert my attention from her. But I wouldn't. I wouldn't leave Victoria alive. Not this time.

Abruptly, Alice yelled at me in desperation, no longer bothering to communicate silently. Her voice had raised several octaves; combined with the squawks of several birds that had just been dislodged from a tree (Jacob had just slammed yet another newborn into it. He seemed to have a thing when it came to hitting vampires into trees.)

"Edward look, _your right_!"

I turned around just in time to dodge the newborn that launched himself at me, and anger - unrepentant and raw fury boiled inside me. The fact that Victoria had relied on someone else to _distract _me, purely so she could gain the upper hand, made me want to hurt her more than ever. I turned back to her - using every ounce of restraint I had not to ruin my subtle attack and just launch myself at her - unleashing a very low, very deadly growl. Her lips cracked into another grin, her childish voice replaced by something deeper, an enticing drawl designed to tempt. The voice I knew she'd adopt whenever she planned to ensnare her victim.

One she'd use before she went in for the kill.

"Oh, _close one _Edward - don't look so taken aback," Her white teeth glinted in the moonlight. I couldn't even speak. Just one slip up. That's all I needed to take her. But she drew towards me slowly, casually at ease, a dark fire glinting in her ruby eyes.

"After all, I never said I'd play _fair_…"

***

The fight continued, Alice still trying to break me from it, urgency practically radiating from her. I knew she wanted to tell me something important, but my mind seemed to be fixed on only one thing.

Killing _her_.

Suddenly, Jacob ran in front of me, blocking Victoria. I stopped short for a second at his thoughts.

_Go back to her._

"What?" I whispered, and even though I could hear snarling on either side of us, even though I knew Alice and Victoria were fighting faster than ever, I couldn't seem to move. I dodged an attack to my left instinctively, but otherwise, remained very still.

The battle reduced to a mere blur, white noise and dull colours.

The wolf looked at me, with dark eyes and matted fur, blood and mud mixed together on his russet coat. In all senses, this was the point where he seemed most inhuman, most _animal_. But there was something else in his normally hostile stare - something I'd never seen before. Almost like… _pity_.

_Go back to her, _He repeated simply, _go back to Lucie; she needs you. If Aro gets her too_… He didn't finish that sentence. But I was still unmoving, still staring at him. Jacob's thoughts became more urgent. A knock to the side from the one of the last newborns sharply reminded me we were still in battle. But Jacob didn't stop staring at me, just winced at the contact. (well, if a wolf could wince, that's what he did.)

_Go_.

I made a decision then. One that would change everything that preceded it. One that I'd wanted to do ever since Alice had come into the clearing. One that I couldn't face up to - even now. I stared back at Jacob, oblivious to the battle around me.

And I made my choice.

***

**Bella's POV: **

_What have I done? _

The question seems to echo around my head, reverberating in my mind. Refusing to fade away.

Cold bit against my skin like knives, but I couldn't feel it. Not yet. My thoughts were far worse than any physical pain. My stomach was knotted, painful and cramp. Every part of me was sore. It was a penance. Something I should, under all accounts, endure. I had unwillingly turned the bets in my sick captor's favour. I had taken part in his scheme, his plan - one that I'd been foolish enough to believe as innocent. I had played into his hands as easily as his other victims, fallen into the trap that would surely lead to my loved ones deaths.

I looked up into his blood red eyes, unashamed when I started to cry

***

**Edward's POV: **

Carlisle looked at me, his features set in an austere expression. His thoughts were too complex for me to make sense of. But then again so were mine, I attempted to speak, but it was only her name that left my lips.

"_Lucie_…" He didn't say anything at first, just continued to stare at me, his normally butterscotch eyes tarns of solemn ochre.

"Her blood Edward…" He said, and I felt my fists clench at my sides at the mention of it. "She's fine-" He amended quickly at my expression, "She's okay Edward, it's just that… her blood - it's not -" He was, for the first time I'd heard him, struggling for words, "not _normal_. I don't know what it is, but I did a few blood tests on her while she was unconscious. I don't understand why we haven't done them before come to think of it - but there was certainly no way we could have realised anything without them. Our senses are useless at some things. There's something odd about her blood, her circulation is poor but she doesn't get cold quickly. Which is exceedingly odd considering-"

"Has she been eating?" I asked before he'd finished, I had a headache from all he was trying to tell me. But I didn't _care _about her being an anomaly medically. I didn't want to listen to Carlisle's theories and discoveries. There wasn't time for that. _I just want to find her and see if she's alright… _"I told you-" My voice was strained. "To make _sure _she ate something…"

Carlisle gave me an exasperating look.

"Yes," He said wearily, "She's been eating, lots in fact. I'm certain she doesn't have an aversion to food. But because for her current weight alone she should be constantly shivering, that added to the fact that she has poor circulation means that she should, in all senses, be _cold_." He massaged his temples, as if the act would somehow help this thought process, "I've looked at it though so many angles; thought up a dozen hypothesises; tried again and again to look for a solution… but it doesn't make _sense_."

"Never mind that-" I stopped him before he could say more, "Have you considered an irregular blood transfusion? Anyway, it doesn't matter. She's safe right? She's healthy…" I tried to keep back some of the fervency in my mind, reluctant to portray as much in my voice. Thought Carlisle only looked pointedly back at me.

"Barely so." He said quietly, "She's strong Edward, I'll give her that. It isn't that she's _weak _per se, no, she's actually remarkably active and alert considering her injuries - injuries, please note, that should have kept her in bed for _days-" _His frowned deeply, pacing up the room in an effort to think straight_. _"No, it's the fact that she _isn't _weak, that's worrying me. I can't grasp it. Not at all. I can't figure out how she's managed to fight back at everything so efficiently. It's like all of a sudden her defences have been doubled…"

"And yet…" I trailed off, the image of her slumped in Emmett's arms surfacing to mind. _That _wasn't strength. "What happened? Esme-"

"Lucie saw her past," Carlisle sighed resignedly, "It's stupid of me, of course her regaining of strength would have resulted in that. It was only a matter of time anyway - she said that it happened when she becomes particularly curious or interested in someone. At least that's the variable she can explain most efficiently. It makes sense, after all: why wouldn't _we _induce curiosity?" He ran a hand through his honey hair, a stressed gesture, "I should have foreseen it. The only problem was that Esme… she knew something we didn't. Esme knew Lucie's mother."

"She _what_?"

"Knew her mother…" Carlisle repeated, his wide eyes mirroring my disbelief, "Well, perhaps not _properly_. They didn't ever speak to each other, but she _saw _her. It appears that Arielle - that's her name, by the way - has appeared more than once in Esme's past. But, of course, there was no way for her to know that she was related to Lucie, aside from the minor similarities." My mind conjured up the image of a woman in a white dress, blonde hair trailing down her back as she walked away. I couldn't place where these memories had come from… _wait_, my mind whispered suddenly,_ her dream - Lucie's dream, you saw her through Lucie's mind_…

Carlisle's voice, foggily returned to me, "I didn't want to pry, but Esme's told me that the later occasion she saw her, Arielle was being followed…" I looked up sharply.

"The Volturi?" I asked quietly, Carlisle nodded.

"We can only assume, she said they wore cloaks."

"Hell," I swore swiftly under my breath.

"I couldn't agree more," Carlisle muttered sadly, shocking me slightly - I'd expected to be reprimand by cursing like that. My mind trailed over to Lucie again, of how she must have felt experiencing Esme's memories. They weren't pleasant, I knew as much from the brief flashes I'd seen in her mind. But even then she'd blocked out the worst from me. Carlisle read my expressions easily, adding lightly: "She's upstairs by the way, Lucie that is."

"Is she sleeping?" I asked softly. He nodded resignedly, before the corners of his lips quirked upwards.

"Not willingly though, she put up quite the fight. I had to give her a strong dosage of Ambien; I'm not going to be terribly popular when she wakes up."

***

**Bella's POV:**

The cold was becoming unbearable.

I never wanted Jacob more than I did in this moment. Goosebumps marred my skin; I pressed my lips to stop my teeth from chattering. I tried to get some heat from friction, rubbing my arms, but it didn't work. My arms remained stubbornly freezing, looking more translucent than ever in the candle-lit darkness. The light emitted from the flame danced around the walls, yet there was something cold and dead about it, all the warmth and comfort I expected to get from fire was absent from its presence.

I could hear someone approaching. And despite my self, I was scared all over again. Nearly trembling, though it was hard to tell. I was shivering like crazy. I looked up as the heavy footfalls against stone came closer.

Caius was before me, tall and powerful.

And I hated the sight of him.

I avoided his eyes, they were much too dark. I had no way of knowing whether Aro's previous words: _"Don't worry; we won't hurt you…"_ were true. In fact, his tone had implied more of a: _"We won't hurt you… yet." _And besides… I had learnt not to trust Aro's promises.

So for all I knew, these stoic features could be the last I ever saw.

_Crap. I sound morbid. That's what creepy dungeons do to you. They make your thoughts _morbid-

"How are you feeling - comfortable, I take it?" Caius said mockingly. I kept my eyes trained on the stone behind him_. Just stay calm Bella, don't talk back to him, don't provoke him-_

"No. I'm not comfortable. I'm cold, it's dark, and you're imprisoning me."

_Well. So much for staying calm._

"Such careless words; you should be cautious there. Those less kind than I might take…_offence_." He drew the word out, so became more of a hiss; a sound entirely inhuman. "You speak of the cold? Why, surely that is your fault. Your skin should be more impenetrable. And the darkness?" He was silent for a moment, before saying sharply, "_Look _at me, Isabella."

I didn't avert my eyes from the floor, biting the inside of my cheek to stop shouting back. _Isabella again. What is it with vampires and formality?_

Suddenly, I felt his cool breath against my neck, his lips inches away from my skin. He murmured there, and I felt nauseated - sick by his scent, so different from the one that I loved, musky and soft - like a fire in a forest.

"I said: _look _at me…" The threat was laced in his voice, but I still didn't act, I felt his cold hands grip my chin roughly, turning it so forcefully I had to bite back a whimper, to stare at him.

"That wasn't wise to disobey me…" He said softly, "You need to be more…_complacent_."

"You mean submissive," I spat, disgusted by him.

His lips curled into a smile.

"Yes… that will do too."

I jerk my head away from him, and aim a kick at his calf.

And it's like kicking a wall. Only with less satisfaction.

He whipped around and seized me by the arm. Only he didn't hurt me. No. What he did was worse than that. He drew me closer to him, whispered deeply, bordering on seductive, into my hair. And the grip was so strong, so impenetrable, I could barely even squirm.

"Perhaps I will have to break you to cultivate such submission then…"

"Leave me," It was only a whisper again. "Leave me… _please_."

He laughed at that. It was raspy; a perverse sort of sound, and it rang around the room. The semblance of sense I had left whispered to me:

_Anything. Say anything to get him to leave._

"Stop it!" I covered my ears, "Just _go_… you can't do any more. I'm broken, okay? I don't have anymore damn weaknesses for you to seek out. You've beaten me. You've _won_. "

But he laughed harder still at that.

"Ah, but sweet Isabella…" His voice rose, "you are so _rife _with weaknesses, that they're as plain to me as your pretty little features. Aro is fond of you, I am not. Where he cannot access your mind - a talent that is _most _curious - _I, _unlike Aro, can still see how you _fear _me. How your hair raises when you hear my voice; how your frantic heartbeat races in terror; how your eyes search another's…" I looked up at him. He was right; my eyes did seek a different face. A russet coloured, _kinder _one.

"Not all secrets can be hidden within the mind, there are some that are easy to see - I could watch them flit across your face - decipher your futile efforts to escape me, predetermine your tactics, unwind whatever strategy you could possibly think up. I can read you, Isabella - even if your shield prohibits others. You are, in all senses, tiresomely predictable, just like the rest of your pathetic race.

"And yet… so much _attention _is bestowed upon you. I used to question that." He looked at me, his gaze cold and calculating, "You are, after all…only a _human_."

He laid me to the floor, no longer violent or cruel, and somehow - that gentle gesture, the smoothness of it, _that _was worse than if he'd thrown me there.

"Though I can't deny how potent that blood of yours is."

He bent down, and kissed me crudely on my neck.

And after he'd left the room, I threw up everything left in my stomach.

***

**Edward's POV:**

She was just lying there, looking stunning…

_You know Edward; you're getting creepier by the day. Watching her sleep like that. Thinking that she's _stunning _when she's unconscious. Creepy. Plain _creepy_._

I ignored my thoughts, drinking in her appearance I'd been craving for so long. Not daring to believe that she was perfectly safe, feeling the anxiety and fear ebb away with each of her soft, measured heartbeats.

Her face was devoid of one of its usual infuriatingly cryptic expressions. The mask she put up was gone, and she looked much younger than I'd ever seen her. Much younger, I thought, than seventeen. It was not her body that resembled her youth, despite how slender. She wasn't particularly short, in fact I knew she was slightly above the average height - no, it was her _face _that seemed so young. When no longer clouded by her fears - fears that she, even at seventeen, shouldn't have to deal with.

I could smell the drug Carlisle had injected running through her veins. It was laced subtly in her blood, making it less appealing for me. I was grateful. I hadn't hunted in a while, and the last thing I wanted was to be tempted to feed. I smiled slightly, imagining her fury at being made to sleep even more. Carlisle had been right, she _would _be angry at him. Her eyes would burn emerald in her kittenish-rage. I didn't need to worry about her knowing I was here either; she wouldn't wake up for a while. The dosage Carlisle had given her was enough to keep her unconscious for hours.

She lay, I noted absently, at a slightly odd angle. The covers lay crumpled and crushed at her feet, and she was curled slightly to the left. I wondered whether she'd twisted some time before I'd arrived in her sleep, caught up in some nightmare she couldn't escape. Now though, she didn't seem to be experiencing any sort of dream. Her cerise lips slightly parted like the petals of a rose, taking soft, precise breaths, her chest rising and falling.

I abruptly jerked backwards away from her. _Stay back, don't get closer to her. You could still leave now - she's safe, she's fine. Alice must have foreseen it wrong. Time is susceptible, interchangeable. She's safe already. Go talk to Carlisle about what Alice said…Just leave already!_

But I didn't want to leave.

I sighed, leaning against the doorway, and though my muscles were still tensed, and body poised - I had no intention of moving. Instead I studied her - at this angle, I was able to see her face more clearly.

She was not, as most people would describe, perfect. Not by a long shot. Her lips, though the hue of a fresh rose, were chapped; skin pallid; her hair washed but messy, tresses of it splayed around her still figure. A figure that I was sure she hated, being so far from the stereotypical desire. Not curvaceous and shapely, not even slender and soft like Bella's, but thinner in comparison, far slighter. I knew _her _eyes would seek out the imperfections, noting the absence of conventional beauty.

I wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. Her beauty was too far gone to be _conventional_. I saw her imperfections, I wasn't blinded - I could see as well as any other, and the imperfections were there and yet I found them just as appealing as anything else. They were more made her _real_. From her scrawny figure, to her small lips; her wide eyes, to her messy hair. The imperfections were there, plain and clear, and they were what made her so exquisite.

I froze suddenly. Her heartbeat and breathing had changed tempo - the urge to sit next to her and experience what she was nearly made me advance towards her. But she turned suddenly in her sleep, her lips moving silently, uttering mumbled words I couldn't catch, and her hair fell over her face.

I felt myself tense, my mind shouting at me to leave: _She can't see you here_…. but she soon stopped moving, falling into a deep slumber once more.

Now I found myself feeling, quite irrationally, annoyed. I frowned, I could no longer see her expression, her hair now obscured her face. I cursed softly under my breath. Really, this was _typical_.

Quickly - partially so that I didn't think better of it - I knelt beside her, blowing against her forehead so that she squirmed a bit, rising slightly and impatiently flicking the hair behind her shoulder. A grin worked its way up my face; she didn't awake - collapsing back onto the bed. I knew this was a minor version of sleepwalking - moving unawares when unconscious.

I leant closer, tracing the curve of her cheek with one finger, and then freezing.

_What are you doing?! Do you _want _her to wake up, see you an inch away from her face and have a heart attack?_

No. Not really.

But as I straightened up, I felt her arms come around my neck, prohibiting me from pulling away. The act for me should have been easy to stop - my strength overruled hers significantly. The small movement was a sleeping reaction - it was involuntary. She was unconscious, and therefore had no idea that I was in her presence. I froze again; suddenly nervous she was going to wake up. Lucie needed rest, the ever prominent shadows under her eyes proved as much. .

I found her warm hands behind my neck and pried them loose, but as I pulled, she grasped a hold of my shirt, mumbling something incoherent in her sleep. She wasn't like Bella. The words she spoke rarely made sense. The small murmurs were panicked, but it wasn't just this and the act of her arms around my neck that caused me to stop dead.

It was what I could see.

***

**(A/N:** _I apologise for all the choppy POV switches.__Okay, this bit? She'__s dreaming again and I have only one word for this next bit: _**SADISTIC**_. It really creeped me out writing it - though that's partly because I'm the world's biggest wimp - still, it scares me and _**I **_was the one who _wrote _it…heh - yeah, I _must _be a sadist at heart_.**)**

**Lucie's POV:**

_I was lying, my cheek pressed against cold damp stone. A splitting pain in my head made me wince, and to my horror I couldn't see, groping in darkness. For a heartbeat I thought I was blind, and dread made my throat close up, so much so that I felt like I was drowning. Sinking further into darkness. Slowly the scene before me presented itself, a shaft of light falling from somewhere above me. I focused directly ahead, not having enough strength to search for an escape._

_Bella was lying across the floor from me. Blood stained her right cheek and with a jolt I realised she was crying - tears spilling down her porcelain face. Her eyes met mine, and widened - hope and fear chasing each other across her features. Her lips were moving fast, and she was waving her arms, shouting something - but I couldn't hear, it was like I was underwater, unable to move, hear, _breathe_._

_Suddenly everything hit me. I could breathe again, drawing ragged gulps of air into my lungs, and I could hear Bella too - but her words were muffled, too far away to make sense of, like fragmented speech passed under a waterfall._

"_Lucie, is that you? Oh crap, no, no, _no_…Where are they? Jacob - is he here? No, I'm fine - stay still, if they know you're awake it's worse." But she was injured, I scrabbled to my feet, determined to help her. I was the cause of all this - I had to do something, anything._ _Bella paled further still when I rose, shakily, to my feet. For a second I thought I was going to fall backwards, crumple to the floor. What was _wrong _with me? The simplest of actions was challenging._

"_Get down again!" Bella hissed, looking terrified. She pointed to her blood stained cheek, _"_See this scratch? It's nothing._ Nothing_ in comparison to what they do. Please,_ get down. _Don't come here, stay away - you're not safe - Lucie! _Run_. Aro's sent him, Edward won't be able to help - he's sent-" _

_But derisive laughter cut off her words. Echoing around the walls, its owner obscured in shadow. _

_I felt my legs give way beneath me, and then the sensation of my stomach plummeting as I was thrown backwards, caught by cold, hard hands. My hands were suddenly pinned to the wall behind me, and I felt suffocated - never before having felt so utterly _trapped_._

_I regained feeling in my limbs, and kicked wildly, only to feel the horrid, clammy feel of a hand resting on my calf, and trailing, sickening slowly to wrap around my waist. I opened my eyes to see the other person, but a cloak was draped around him or her- casting shadow over the face. Slowly, the figure let the hooded cloak fall, revealing a pair of charcoal black eyes, rimmed with scarlet. A named formed in my mind from the depths of someone else's past._

Caius.

_He was holding me tightly, the coarse hands gripping my too soft, too fragile skin, _restraining _me from running to Bella's side. I let out a yell._

"_Get off me! Get _off_!"_

_A foul stench hit my nose as he breathed down my neck, sending involuntary shivers down my spine. And he turned me, so fast I felt dizzy all over again, a mocking grin working up his lips. _

"_Demetri was right - you are feisty, are you not? How long, I wonder, will it take to get you to _scream_…?" _

_His grip tightened further still, and I hit his iron chest futilely, desperate to escape, as I felt my very clothes start to suffocate - like sheets were wrapping around my legs, binding me still. He laughed bitterly, holding me so it was more of a perverse parody of an embrace, all the while whispering in my ear._

"_A bit plain aren't you? To have these men fight for you, or so I've heard - and so _ordinary, _no refined grace or beauty… And yet my master demands to search for you, and what for, hmmm? Your pretty little friend over there was quite the entertainment before, but Demetri said you were _much _more fun. More fire, more passion. I like that. Even now," He laughed as I pounded at his chest, "Fighting so valiantly, so bravely, so _pathetically_… pitiable attempts, my sweet. Futile moves so easily parried, a shallow mind tiresomely easy predict."_

"_And yet _still _Aro wants you. _Still _the Cullens keep you. What's so _special_?"_

_I don't answer, and his hand jumped to my throat - pressing against it sot that I couldn't breathe. The sharp, metallic taste of blood hit my tongue._

"_Do you think you're pretty? Is this pale imperfection derisible? _Answer _me."_

"_N-no." I choked against the hand pressing to my throat. A dribble of blood frothing at the corner of my lips. _

_Caius watched the droplet work its way down my face, catching it on an ivory finger. _

"_Well," He grinned, "that can be fixed."_

_I'm swirling in a pool of darkness; it keeps creeping up in my field of vision. I thrashed furtively against him, grappling at him, scraping - trying to just get him off-_

_His voice suddenly penetrated my struggles. It was like a slap._

"_Be still. " _

_I couldn't move. He leaned closer, pressing himself against me so hard that I think I'll faint._

"_You know, I think mortals like you are far more beautiful when dead…"_

_In the background, I heard the sound of screaming. _

***

**Edward's POV:**

She was shaking, tangling herself up in the sheets, yelling:

"Get off me! Get _off_!"

But no one was touching her, I wanted to help: to lift her up into my arms, stop her tremors, do _anything_, but I was paralyzed still.

Her thoughts flew into my head in torrent of colours, mixing and raging out from her dream and into my head. I knew why she was afraid to sleep. But I had never before guessed that her dreams could get _worse_. Never had I even considered the fact that they could get more intense than what I'd witnessed before. I'd assumed they'd dissipate over time, that she would become immune to them.

I had been severely mistaken.

Both chilling and haunting images flew, unbidden, into my mind. Darkness and red, horror and pain. They were both disrupted and fragmented, changing subtly from a figure shrouded by shadows and dark room. Bella lay on the floor blood smeared on her cheek, and Caius, fury boiled inside me, _Caius - _known to be most sadistic of the Volturi _- _was gripping Lucie, his hands nearly shattering her… and then they changed, morphed, and there was a woman with ash hair, staring at Aro with undisguised hate in her eyes.

_The woman turned, green eyes sparking with fear when she looked at me, Aro clicked his fingers, a girl, her figure small and androgynous emerged from the shadows, a beatific smile plastered across her face. A scream broke the silence, blood chilling familiar - closer the girl drew, her smile no longer beatific, instead bestial. More were advancing to the woman, and she was running, and then another figure materialised from the darkness. It turned to _me_, pulling out something from their cloak as they lifted up the tip of their hood, revealing a white chin, dripping with dark ichor- _

I pulled out of them sharply. They were both horrible and eerily captivating. I focused on the girl, her small hands were bleached as pale as mine in the moonlight, the only difference between them was that hers were trembling silently. Her heartbeat was feverishly fast, her lips parting slightly as if prepared to cry out.

She did, and I heard an echoed scream in her dream too. One that was both terrible and haunting. One that awoke a feeling of déjà-vu through me, causing Lucie to shake more violently. Somehow I knew she'd heard that scream before, that this time had not been her first to wake up shaking.

I knew she continually heard that voice; that same distant scream of horror; that it disturbed her sleep each and every night.

Acting as an unforgettable lullaby.

***

I had held her ever since I'd witnessed that. She'd woken up momentarily, and thrashed about, prising my arms off her, all the while screaming. But the Ambien was still in her blood, and she fell asleep again, collapsing back into my arms.

Steadily, her shakes had left, the dreams stopping completely when I held her. It had been hours now; soon it would be dawn, though that wasn't evident by the sky outside - the pale moon bleaching any warmth from the room.

I'd panicked about _warmth _actually, she wasn't shivering, but surely she would be - _must _be - cold. It was _February_, and my arms were like ice, having no blood running through my veins to keep me warm. I'd even stood up, placing her back on the bed and wrapping her in the covers in search for something warmer - but she'd started to tremble, her dreams starting up again. And I'd stopped mid-search.

Being cold, I decided, was better for her than those nightmares.

Now that I was gently cradling her, I cursed softly. I felt half idiotic at not realising sooner, and half angry at Carlisle. The drug he'd given her, Ambien, _had _acted as an instant sleeping drug, but also caused her dreams to become more complex than usual. Delirious. _She really doesn't need this right now…_

The only advantage of the drug was this: she wouldn't remember her dreams when she awoke.

I placed her back on the bed - I was just about to call for Carlisle, ask how long the drug affecting her would last, and more specifically, how _large _the dosage he'd given was, when she sucked in air sharply.

So for the eighth time that evening, I froze.

***

She rose up, twisting in an ephemeral twirl, her light hair falling past her shoulders and spilling over her arched back. I didn't try to move now. I was left spellbound, entranced by a human who didn't even have a clue as to how I really thought of her.

The moonlight flittered through the gap in the dark curtain, casting a ribbon of silver onto her delicate features.

"Edward?" She asked groggily, before her eyelashes had even flickered. Her fingers twitched slightly, as if she was considering searching for me but couldn't find the energy to do so. Slowly her lids fluttered open and she squinted slightly as her eyes accustomed to the darkness, they widened as they took in my silhouette.

I pressed a finger to my lips.

"Go back to sleep," I said quietly, my voice no more substantial than the darkness that surrounded us. She shook her head stubbornly, fighting to keep her eyes open.

"Wh-what are you doing here? Why am here? I was with your family… Esme, my mum - I thought…." I stopped her, removing my finger from my lips, and instead, pressing it to hers. Her pale skin, though unblemished as a bowl of cream, was too wan, her cheeks too sallow. I felt something anxious inside me twist painfully. She looked so frail. Her determination was little when asleep, the very thing that made her so strong.

When she was like this, she was utterly defenceless.

Her lips began to move under my finger, a muffled and disorientated, "How can you be here?" was said against it.

"You're dreaming." I invented quickly.

"I'm not," She mumbled against my finger, but the rest of her words were lost. She blinked sleepily again, and her eyelashes brushed against the tops of her cheeks. I couldn't help noticing at this moment, just how different her eyes were to Bella's. Everything from their shape to colour was poles apart. Where Bella's eyes were a resolute chocolate brown, hers were caramel melded with jade. And where Bella's lashes were long and thick, Lucie's were like fine spindled ink. Her eyes were bigger too; almost off-balancing in her small face, a thing - I was sure - that she would judge herself down on. Thinking they were abnormal, unattractive even.

_How wrong she was. _

Her eyes reopened, and she stared resolutely back at me.

"My dreams are never this pleasant." She said this in a confused voice, like she was stating a fact she didn't fully understand. I tensed suddenly, afraid she could remember her most recent nightmare, but no fear fell across her eyes, only confusion and…_awe? _I nearly snorted. _Right. Awe…_

"Well then," I mused, still quietly, not wanting to let her fully awake, "This dream is breaking the tradition, isn't it?" I gave her a crooked smile, her heart began to thrum louder, but she didn't smile back. A calculating look had fallen over her features; she looked so small and childlike, unquestionably cute.

"You're real." She stated in a whisper, trying to push herself upwards. My hands were instantly at her shoulders, unwilling to let her stand. She frowned. "See?" She said quietly, "you're real, you're _here_. You have to have substance to stop me moving like that."

"Have you ever had a dream where things have seemed real?" I asked softly. I could tell that she had several, the one I'd interrupted being her most recent. Images and sounds of her screaming filled my head; I struggled to keep my face calm, composed. Her terror scared me more than I could express.

But she didn't seem scared now. On the contrary, she merely looked confused, my words making perfect sense.

"I'm awake." She said slowly, _uncertainty_…

"You're not," I contradicted her, a small smile pulling at my lips again, keeping my voice soft and soothing.

"I don't believe you." She said firmly, but her eyes flickered slightly with the temptation of sleep. The Ambien running trough her veins was still strong, _she shouldn't be awake at all yet_… I pushed the thought aside as her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Well you're going to have to," I murmured, leaning closer.

"Why?" She asked simply, a yawn escaping her.

"Because I said so." I said, just as simply.

"But if you really are a dream," She said carefully, but her voice was quieter still, "that is to say, the random firings of neurone cells as interpreted by the brain," Her lip twitched slightly as she said that, smiling at a joke I didn't get, but her face puckered abruptly as she focused on me again "Then that means… that you're just a figment of my imagination. You don't have a mind of your own. You're just scattered thoughts. _My _thoughts… so…I can make you do what I want."

I wanted to sigh; trust her to be so logical on the matter.

"Can you now?" I asked, raising an eyebrow

"Yes." She muttered resolutely. Even in this tired haze, she still managed to look cross when she stared at my arched eyebrow. I chuckled at her expression, amused that her eyes were fixed stubbornly on my forehead. This seemed to aggravate her, in one swift motion she stood up, tilting slightly on her unstable feet.

The motion had been so spontaneous for someone half asleep I hadn't expected it, she grinned in triumph at the look of shock plastered on my face and my lack of reaction. But her grin faltered as she swayed, a prick of fear alighting her hazel eyes as she felt her legs give way beneath her.

I caught her easily, _effortlessly_; catching her was practically second nature.

Her skin was so soft under my fingertips, warmer and smoother than I'd anticipated. Her breath caught suddenly, and then there were a few heartbeats of silence between us. And suddenly, with no warning and with an almost bone-crushing force, an epiphany struck me - so strong felt like I was going to stagger backwards.

_I never want to let her go…_

"See?" She mumbled crossly, jolting me back to reality, her small face scowling a little, "If you weren't real, if you were a _dream _- that, your little moving-faster-than-life stunt, wouldn't have happened." My mind seemed slow in processing that, but she was right of course, I quickly changed the subject.

"But didn't you just say you can make me do what you want?"

She hesitated for a second, instantly wary.

"Well, yeah…"

"And can you honestly say you didn't _want _me to catch you?" I smirked slightly at the blush that tinted her cheeks. She let out a gust of frustrated air.

"_This _wouldn't be happening!" I held back a laugh, heck, she was actually _pouting_! "I don't _like _being teased. If I was dreaming…" She yawned widely, her hand covering her mouth slightly afterwards, her reactions delayed. "I…" but her head titled a bit to the side, and her breathing was becoming gradually more soft and measured. Even the thrum of her heartbeat was slowly getting slower, I smiled - she would be asleep again within moments.

Abruptly she tensed in my hold of her.

"Why are you smiling?" Her tone was interrogating. Falling in and out of consciousness. "Oh, only because I'm a figment," I said wistfully, it was highly amusing how distracted she was in this state. "I can't do much else see, that is - unless your mind thinks of something. After all, like you said - I'm part of your imagination."

"You _are_…" She said, her grip on consciousness slackening again. "So I _can _make you do what I want..." I grinned despite myself.

_And… we're back to square one…_

"Then how about you try it," I said, dipping my head so I could murmur against her ear "let me prove that you're dreaming."

She mulled over this for a second, before letting her eyes flicker shut, like she was accepting defeat. Her eyelids were a pale amethyst, and I realised with a jolt they were like mine. The same colour because of how little sleep she was getting.

She let her slight frame become suspended by my arms and she seemed so peaceful in that moment, so free of fear and thought in comparison to before, I thought this time she truly _was _asleep. But unpredictably, she exhaled in a sigh, before opening her eyes quickly as if to make sure I hadn't vanished.

_Did I just see relief in her expression? _

Slowly, she prised my arms off her, placing them neatly by my sides. I almost didn't let her go, but her stance seemed steady enough - for the moment anyway. She frowned a fraction, her neat eyebrows drawing together, contemplating me.

Not removing her eyes from my own, she whispered her next words in a rush; they tumbled hurriedly through her lips.

"Kiss me."

***

And suddenly, I found myself across the room. Baking _away _from her.

Stupid, stupid, _stupid_.

I'd let my emotions get the better of me. My mind was racing, desire and thoughts too entangled up - too twisted and entwined. But I knew what I _wanted _to do. And that was the reason I'd come here in the first place. The reason I'd broken from the battle, why I'd _had _to break from it.

_It's her… It's _always _her. _

And God, she was just standing there. Looking beautiful again. Hurt flashing up in her eyes, crumpling her expression, her eyes widening as if she's only just realised she'd said that aloud. Guilt surged through me, but I didn't comfort her, I stayed back, placing a good few meters between us, fighting against an almost magnetic pull to do exactly what she'd just asked.

_Why is it so hard?_

But the truth was crashing around me, hitting me like the fragmented shards of a mirror, glancing off me and leaving a numb pain. The truth, that even now, I do my best to ignore.

I knew that if I was any closer - I'd do it in a heartbeat. I wouldn't be able to stop. Despite _everything_, my control would crumple.

_No. Stop thinking like that. _

This can't happen. It _shouldn't _happen.

And yet that question remains, burning amidst the chaos:

_Why the hell do I want it to happen?!_

Why do I want it so damn much?

_***_

**Lucie's POV:**

_Why did I say it?_

The question formed the second the word had left my lips. And I knew how stupid I was. How idiotic. Because I could see his response, his reaction to that _stupid _thing I said. In a heartbeat, he flung himself backwards, and there's a look of such confusion on his features, such pain… that I don't know what to think.

I _couldn't _think.

But he spoke up suddenly, so I listened.

"I… don't think… that would be…"

He wasn't looking at me, for the first time - I saw him wringing his hands, then clenching them. His words were strangled. Disjointed. I hadn't stopped staring at him, and he looked at me for the briefest, most _infinitesimal _of moments - as though afraid any longer than that could change his mind.

He seemed to choke on the last word.

"Wise."

His words didn't register with me at first. I'm still half asleep. In fact, it's like I'm only just awake. Like my dream is glass, shattering to pieces around me, the shards cutting me as they fall.

I felt stunned. Shocked. _Stupid_. His rejection was obvious. Why was I being so idiotic? Why the hell was I standing here? Why wasn't I running? Laughing? Crying?

I was just standing. Lips still parted. Confusion off the scale.

I felt like I'd just drowned, but survived the experience. Like I'd been choking on water, struggling, gasping, _dying_… only to be saved at the last minute. Pulled out of the water. Of the fear. And then I'd been giddy, so full with life, to carelessly grasp it as if I could control it. I'd asked him to kiss me. _Kiss _me.

I'd carelessly tripped over the invisible line.

And Edward looked just as confused and shocked as I felt.

*******

We didn't speak much after that.

To say I felt _idiotic_, well, that would be akin to saying the Volturi merely had slightly naughty tendencies. In other words: one of the biggest understatements of the year.

"Sorry," I'd said after a long silence - it had been hard to get the apology out, my throat felt thick; like something was clenching my neck and slowly choking me.

Edward hadn't replied verbally; he'd just nodded his head in a curt, jerky sort of motion - his face settling back into an unreadable mask, one I both hated and feared at the same time. Now though, I couldn't tell what his expression portrayed; he wouldn't look at me. Gaze fixed out of the window, stiller and quieter than the trees bathed in the rising sunlight outside. It looked as if he was forcing himself to stay as far from me as possible; he'd been standing completely rigid by his window ever since. I tried to see what he could; wondering what was possibly so engaging outside to keep his stare fixed. I couldn't find anything particularly interesting though. All I saw was the sky outside, just beginning to lighten again; faint rays of light peaked over the horizon. It was dark enough though, shadows were dominant.

I looked back to him: his posture was all wrong; tense and awkward at the same time, I'd never seen him act like this before. It unnerved me.

A thought came to me, _why did Carlisle send me to sleep? _And abruptly - as soon as I thought it - the events of last night all came rushing back. _Esme. My mother. The Volturi-_

I let out a small, "Oh," And sank back onto the bed. Edward gave no indication of hearing me, but to be honest, by now I didn't really care. My head felt like it was throbbing as I mulled over what Esme's past must mean. There was so much to take in I felt like my head would burst, I pressed the heals of my hands to my eyes until red obscured my vision, desperate to just _think_…

Parts of it - I thought rationally - I already knew; the meeting with Carlisle, for example, and how the death of her first child led Esme to suicide. But then everything else seemed too confusing to figure out. Answers were completely absent from my head, every time I thought I might understand something - another part of Esme's past would contradict it. Like the fact that my mum's coincidental appearance could have been just that: a _coincidence_. That was instantly parried by the thought of how she's appeared more than once. Not exactly the most coincidental thing to happen…

The facts seemed to be splayed before me, only my mind couldn't string them together. The answer was there, at the tip of my finger tips-

"Ugh!" I wrenched my hands from my face in annoyance, my sight was blurred slightly, so that the light from outside seemed to smear like paint on a dark canvas. The dull throbbing of my head had increased significantly. My frustration bubbled up, and again I felt like kicking something. I couldn't work it out! Stupid, _stupid _cryptic information! It never led me anywhere, I just kept going round in circles from one mystery to the next, never getting any answers…

But a critical question interrupted my thought pattern:

Did Carlisle not _want _me to remember what I'd seen?

Suddenly, Edward spoke, seemingly oblivious to the questions still buzzing in my thoughts.

"Have you had any dreams about her?"

I frowned at him, wondering who he was talking about. Until it hit. A slow second too late.

"Oh," I say quietly. "Bella."

_Of course Bella. Why are you so surprised? In fact, why didn't you think of her when you asked him to kiss you? He loves her. He'll always love her. He'll think of her no matter what. _But as soon as I think this I feel guilty. _Embarrassed _even. It was like I was experiencing petty jealously or something. My mind flitted back from my dream - to why I woke up screaming-

But I can't _remember _why…

"I…" My confusion sounds fake, "I… I don't… know." Crud. He was staring at me, trying to figure out if I was lying. I wasn't. I genuinely couldn't remember _a thing_. He gave an almost inaudible sigh, but I hear it, and I can detect what underlines it: disappointment.

Edward ran his hands through his hair again, his voice deeper than before, quieter. I held my place; my feet firmly planted a few paces from his bed. "You don't understand," _Oh, don't I_? "She… she could be dead."

"Then go," I said quietly. "Go find her."

"I can't." I stared at him, torn between disbelief and anger. I have no idea where it's coming from, or why I'm suddenly so cross at him - but suddenly something about him irritates me. The way he was always giving me mixed messages, the volatile moods from happy to sad. All of it. _Irritating_.

"Yes you can," I said, enunciating the words slowly. "It's easy. You run, you catch a plane, you fly to Volterra - kick the Volturi violently enough so that they rendered pretty incapable of anything, save Bella, and-"

"I _can't_," He repeated, but I could hear the frustration in his voice now, "because I have to protect you."

"_Protect _me?"

"Yes, protect you."

"There are plenty of others who can do that," I snapped. "Honestly, I'm not going to combust right now, Edward. And besides: Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie" - I ticked them furiously off as I went - "I think that's plenty, don't you?"

By his expression, I appeared to have said the wrong thing.

"No," And this time, the lowness of his tone was different. "No Lucie. I _don't _think that's plenty. Especially since three of the people you just mentioned are currently flying to Italy," He walked closer to me and as he did so, the air seems to freeze up - I was suddenly cold. "As. We. Speak."

I couldn't help what I said next, really, I couldn't. Bitter words, ones that concealed the pain I was feeling. And bitter words designed for one purpose: to provoke him.

"Why don't you go join them then?"

At first, he didn't answer. He looked at me, topaz eyes utterly incredulous, rage flashing across them. Then he seemed to stop breathing, both fists clenched. He walked backwards, turning away from me - until, at the last minute he whipped around, his control seeming to snap, speaking so quickly it was hard to catch.

"Because Lucie, if you haven't already noticed - you're exceedingly prone to danger when the Volturi are concerned. I'm not about to leave Esme here, by herself to protect you. Especially since she's shaken up already because of what happened earlier, because of what you _saw_."

I exhale very quietly; his words are like a knife to my chest. He knew I couldn't _help _that. Did he think I wanted to experience Esme's past? Did he think I _enjoyed _it?

"Look, I didn't _try _to make that happen, you know I can't control _any _of it-"

"Lucie, you wanted an answer, and you're getting one. Shut. Up."

With him leaning this close to me, fuming - looking ready to punch me, and towering over me, there really wasn't much else I could do. I was still scowling at him, unwilling to let him see how much his words hurt. _Don't be a pathetic coward, _my mind scolded; I shifted uneasily.

If anything, the air in the room had got even colder.

"I stopped looking for Bella, to find you. And why? Because Alice had a vision of you being captured by one of the Volturi guard - _do not _ask as to exactly whom Aro's sent, because I haven't got the slightest idea, it's been irritating me the entire time you've been sleep - so, bearing in mind that I was fighting Victoria, and oh, only about half a dozen of her new born minions, I was forced to make a split decision as to who to save. You or Bella. And guess what: I chose you. Why? Well now I don't know, seeing as you feel so confident about being utterly _fine._" He was openly glaring at me now, "But seeing as Alice was being her agitated (and exceptionally _shrill_) self, and I imagine Jacob wants to show up to get Bella as the hero - I came back, found you, planned on peacefully waiting until whoever Aro sent and then killing him, and leaving to do exactly as you just said, bar the violent kicking. But no, instead you woke up - quite _how _with the amount of Ambien you had, I don't know - I haven't got to unleash any pent up energy from not getting to kill Victoria, and well, we're here, having an argument."

He said that all very fast.

"It's not an argument," I mumbled, "it's just a heated discussion."

He didn't seem to find that very amusing.

"Don't you get it?" He whispered, his eyes looking like they were searching for something in mine. And they were so complex, so filled with intensity, my internal mutterings stopped for a second. I look back at him, trying to understand.

But I couldn't. I had no idea what he was going on about.

"Get what?" I said back, my voice even quieter than his.

But he looked away. Unable to find whatever he was searching for.

"You really don't get it do you?" I heard him say quietly, but I couldn't see his expression. "You actually haven't figured it out…" He let out a sharp laugh, though it was completely devoid of its usual warmth. No happiness. Just disbelief. "It doesn't matter anyway." I could feel myself getting cross again. What was he going on about?!

But he just walked away. Skulked to the other side of the room.

"Yeah, you do that." I mutter in an undertone, a sarcastic edge to my voice. "Don't answer my questions or anything… _no_. That won't make anything make more sense."

What happened next, was something that isn't easily explained.

He went very still after I'd said that. Literally, it was like he just _froze_. And then he turned very quickly, but to me it felt like he as turning slowly - and then, it was almost like, I saw him just… _snap_.

The next thing I know? He's up right up to my face, shouting at me.

"Do you even want to live? Why do you keep _doing _this? Is it to hurt yourself, to hurt _me_? Or is it just that you're too wrapped up in your own troubles to realise that others have them too?"

He'd said the words so vehemently, so bluntly, it was as if I'd been slapped awake.

But it wasn't his tone that upset me, not his anger, no - it was the fact that he was _right _that caused my sharp intake of breath. It was the _truth _that made me stumble backwards.

His glare faltered for a second when I winced at my stumble, hitting my newly repaired arm against the bookcase - his fury ceasing as he saw my ashen face, eyes darting down to my trembling fingers. He was worried I would break. "Oh God, I didn't - I wasn't-"

"No," I cut across him. Moving backwards - fighting the urge to just run in regret and shame. I could see his was worried under his fury - and that made me feel sick. _Sick _that I was considered so fragile, so breakable. Disgusted at how part of me was hurt over his words. Wounded over my own pathetic actions.

And just as breakable as he thought.

"You're right." I said, still quietly meaning to turn then, to just leave it, walk away for once and not make a fool of myself.

But that wasn't who I was.

Abruptly, the words I'd been suppressing sprang from my lips before I could hold them back. They were just as blunt as his, yet harsh instead of vehement. Underlying covert passion seeping through the lines I spoke. Plainer and clearer than ever before.

"You're right Edward, and you've been so all along. I'm too wrapped up in it all, aren't I? I'm too wrapped up in my trivial misfortunes to care about others. After all, I'm not that unlucky, am I? So my father could be dead…" My voice was getting higher, I tried to make a disinterested sound, "Pssh, big deal eh? After all, it's not as if losing _another _parent's going to be difficult. Seeing as I've already coped with my mother's happy demise, no - it'll be great. I'll be an orphan. We can have party. They'll be a cake. Alice can choose the decorations."

I was rambling now, and I knew it. But I kept on talking, so loud now I was close to shouting. Edward's expression hadn't changed, he was as still as a statue. Only his eyes flickered in emotion, the rest paralysed still - I didn't look too deeply at him, determined to unleash everything.

"So yeah. I deluded myself into thinking that I was the centre of the universe. I acted immaturely, like a child-"

"Look, you know I didn't mean that-"

"Oh, but I think you _did_." I spat out darkly, "I think it's probably the most truthful thing you've said to me too. You're right. I was childish wanting my father safe. Childish with how I sought to find him, childish in how I continually hated the fact that I was being cooped up here unable to do _anything_. Rendered to annoying your family, pillaging Esme's past to find that she, in fact, knew my mother." My voice was higher still, a hysterical tinge to it.

"Who would have thought it, huh? My mother, _alive _when Esme was just 22. Impossible? Apparently not." Edward looked ready to interrupt, so I spoke faster - refusing to give up. "Do you know what I did then? I acted even _more _selfishly, I blacked out from the experience. Leaving you to scamper back from saving someone far more worthy than I could ever be. Blacked out because of how damn weak I am. Blacked out because of what I saw. Because I'm a _freak_."

"You're not a-"

"I am." I said, my voice hoarse from shouting, "I've always been an outcast Edward - that much will never change. I'm not normal - you said it yourself. And I won't ever be. I _can't _be. But I hate myself how I've acted, for everything. So no, I _don't _want to live. And yeah, it's partially to hurt myself. After all, what I've been through is pathetic anyway - a little more won't make any difference, will it?"

He didn't answer, realising, at last, that I _needed _to say this, and that if I didn't - nothing could ever be resolved.

"I wish I was dead. No, scratch that: I wish I'd never been _born. _I wish that, because then I wouldn't have met you. I wish I hadn't met you because then I wouldn't have been sucked into all of this. I wish I hadn't been sucked into all of this because it's going to end up in me, or worse, someone else - getting hurt." I strode back to him, unashamed when I felt the sensation of angry tears rolling down my cheeks. I didn't try to wipe them away. I'd been crying a lot this evening. It didn't matter anymore. Crying was for the weak - and that's the only role I'd managed to adopt. I didn't care that I sounded like an idiot. I didn't care that I was crying. I didn't care that he would probably hate me after all of this…

But I did care that when I looked into his eyes, my entire resolve wanted to shatter to pieces. And I hated that. I hated how, no matter how much I tried to run from it, I always ended up here. Always ended up being stuck with him, my emotions and heart contradicting almost every word that had left my lips so far.

"But do you know what I wish most of all?" I whispered to him, my voice breaking slightly, holding his topaz gaze with my emerald one, "I wish _you _hadn't acted they way you did. I wish you hadn't saved me all those times, I wish you hadn't had to been so caring when I'd been distressed. I wish you hadn't connected the way you did with me. I wish you hadn't been there to catch me whenever I fell."

"And I wish that," I said quietly - only a few inches away so he could hear, "because if you hadn't had done those things, _this _wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't be here; fighting against _every single _restraint I have, arguing with all my thoughts, battling with stupid flipping _confusing _emotions.

"I wish hadn't fallen in love with you. Because that's what hurts the most. It always has, it always does, and it always will."

And then I meant to turn, I really did. I meant to run from the room, I'd just let all of my defences down - there was no going back.

But I couldn't. I stood there at the door, white and scared, my fingertips trembling - my sentence seeming to echo in the silence between us. I felt Edward look at me; heard the tentative footsteps across the floor. And then, quite abruptly he let out a frustrated sigh.

I snapped my gaze back to him. He hadn't stopped his staring.

"Do you know what I wish Lucie?" He said quietly. "I wish, right now - in your hell-bent fiery anger; your eyes greener than ever; and close to looking like you want to punch me senseless - that you weren't so breathtakingly beautiful…" He'd said that all in one breath, looking uncharacteristically nervous.

"Why-" I was surprised I could talk, to be honest, "Why do you wish… that?" I trailed off quickly unprepared with this. Anger I could deal with; silence I could live through. But this? I hated the unexpected.

"Because," He said simply, "it's becoming increasingly difficult not to just give up and kiss you."

Well crud, _how the hell _did one reply to that?!

"You can't give up."

"And why's that?"

_Lucie, please enlighten me as to _why _you are questioning his previous statement. Or are you, as previously mentioned by a few people including yourself on various occasions, going utterly mad?_

I bit down on my lip, knowing the notion would probably drive him insane with questions as to what my thoughts were; incredibly glad again, that he couldn't read my mind. He didn't need to known my crazy little voice was back. At least elephants weren't cropping up all over the place.

Well crud, they just did.

My voice was shakier than before - it was hard to think logically, let alone talk properly.

_Bloody elephants. _

"Because…" I was still talking, still rambling, _postponing_…but I looked at him. Properly. Not looking away again, just looking at him. _Seeing _him. I could feel my hands, still balled into fists at my sides, and in that instant - I knew what I wanted. More than anything. My voice came back, but it was much quieter, just a breath really. I exhaled in a very soft sigh.

"Because giving up makes it all artificial. Giving up makes it not real."

He crossed the space between us in a heartbeat, cupping my face in his hands, instantly shooting shocks across my skin. Ridding absolutely _everything_, apart from him, from my confused head. His eyes, smouldering pools of dark gold, now completely serious.

"With you, _nothing's _been more real." He whispered thickly, raw emotion in his voice.

And then, quite suddenly - like the spark to a flame, I was alit, forming the raging inferno. I barely heard his next words, garbled strings of thought kept reminding me just how close we were standing. But I lip read his words, my breath caught in my throat.

"So I give up."

His eyes burned brightly, and I felt heat burn in my face. I could barely think for the blood pounding in my ears, for my racing heartbeat, for his intoxicating scent. For the desire to stand on my toes and just-

…_Oh, what the hell_…

And suddenly, without restraint, without hesitance, without care:

I was kissing him.

***

**I do believe, my dear readers, that **_**this **_**classifies as romance. **

**Any cheers? Groans? **_**Boos**_**…? **

**I'll await in silence :p**

**Well actually. No. I won't. I can't help it - I'm going to babble. Anyone who tries to stop me will get trampled. (By the bodyguard Nelephants, naturally :p)**

**Firstly, please, please keep in mind that when Lucie says the line **'Kiss me.' **She is not - I repeat: NOT - doing the erm…**_**unusual**_**… eyebrow thing that **_**Kristen Stewart**_** does in the **_**New Moon **_**movie. Apart from anything else, I think if Lucie **_**had **_**managed to successfully do that, thoughts of kissing Edward would have flown straight from her mind and she would have started to run around in triumph, yelling things like: **"I can do it! I can DO IT! Ha! Take that, vampire!" **:p Well, that's my speculation anyway. **

**About the drug Carlisle gave her: **_Ambien _**- see, I did a bit of research on it, and it **_**does **_**send you to sleep, and also causes really complex weird dreams, but the bit about not remembering them when someone wakes up? Not true. It's just needed here; else Lucie would have been in a panic… and might have thought about Bella's warning more… :S **

**Whew though, that was a LONG chapter, huh? Worth the wait? (alright, I'll admit the wait was pretty long too…) Yes or No? Yay or Nay? Seal ("SEAL!" … heh, none of you will get that :p) of approval from readers?**

**Oh, and I was thinking… you know when Edward was watching her sleep, well it made me think: I bet I look pretty darn **_**gormless **_**when I sleep. Not that I have a fictional vampire obsessively watching me anyway - but still, I reckon I'd look pretty darn frightful. I put this theory into practice actually, I fell asleep on the sofa the other day (too much work coupled with jetlag = **_**utter exhaustion**_**) and when my dad woke me up, I asked: "Do I look all peaceful and relaxed when I'm sleeping?" And he replied with this:**

"No. You had your mouth agape and kept muttering. I didn't catch what. Something about otters…" **yes. I sleep talk a lot, sleep walk too - last time I slept walked I was lying at the kitchen door. I reckon my subconscious must have felt hungry, and was searching for biscuits. So yeah. I look gormless. And muttered about small, furry mammals. Lovely. **

**Oh, and I have a question to you all! I'd be thrilled if anyone could give any suggestions or answers. Okay, recently, I seem to be getting one heck of a lot of electric shocks… and I have absolutely no idea as to why. I asked my English supply teacher (my English teacher was ill, everyone was very pleased) and she started sprouting out all this stuff about me having 'Static in my veins' and she did too, and that was why she was awful with technology…**

**And… erm, **_**convincing **_**though her argument was, I decided to look for other answers. Anyone know? Or am I just odd? (And no, before you all ask: I have **_**not **_**been grasping electric fences. I did that once when spying on some pheasants when I was little in a field. Not the most pleasant of experiences. I ended up yelling in shock at the massive: "BANG!" That went off in my head, and consequently sent all the pheasants off running - ruining my spy work. *Heh, yeah - cool child I undoubtedly, was… not. Some people played with their friends, boys played with toys cars, girls had Barbies, perhaps a few board games with siblings. **_**Me**_**? I spied on pheasants.***

**And yes. I'm quite aware after reading that, not many people will continue to read this story. :S Sorry if I scared you all off. **

**But I won't say much else; I've babbled on long enough. Most of you have probably stopped reading now anyway. **

***

_Coming Soon Next Chapter…_

Something was _wrong_, Edward had frozen and so had I, his grip around me tightened, so much so that it started to _hurt_. But I didn't dare yell out, and my lungs seemed bereft of air. A sudden dark coldness seemed to swallow me, making my palms sweat and heart race. I started to feel sick, Edward's grip slackened, and a raspy chuckle was whispered from behind us sending multiple shivers up my spine - completely stopping my already sparse breath.

"Oh, how _touching.._."

***

**DUN DUN DUN! (Ah, how I've missed saying that… :p)**

**Come on… you want next chapter, don't you? How about you, I don't know, REVIEW ;) I'm sure that'll speed up the process. **

**Lily - who should really be doing something useful. Like finishing her Artwork. Or doing her Biology project. Instead, she's having far too much fun babbling, and writing in 3rd**** person about herself as usual. She feels very cool when she does it. She would love it if you reviewed this chapter, didn't hate her for not updating in so long, and would be thrilled if you'd check out **_Betwixt and Between_ **too. Oh, she'd also like to say that Mouse is alive and well - if a little large from over-feeding by her neighbour - and wishes you all have a great week. And yes. She can indeed converse with Mouse. She's very talented like that :p**


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